Copyright- My name is Demitiri and I am a 19 year old Russian male and this is another time for me writing these types of stories. Please enjoy because I'd like to continue writing stories. Thoughts, comments, suggestions, or would you just want to talk? Please be gentle. Email- demitiriK@yahoo.com. I don't bite =]
Notes- I hope you enjoy chapter. Its been very long time since I made chapters to this. But anyway send feedback please. It makes me feel better about my stores =]
"Take my hand."
"I don't want to."
"Why not?"
"Steven leave me alone I just don't wanna take your fucking hand!"
I tried to run out the school bathroom but he caught me by my arm and had a relentless grip around my stomach. I squirmed, I jerked, I swung, and I convulsed but nothing happened. Maybe Steven was too strong for me to get away from him or maybe I didn't do enough to get away. Truth be told I wanted him to hold, I liked how it felt to be in his prescence, and his overall persona. Sure there was Jorge who loved me for reasons I'll never know but my heart didn't feel the same way. He spun me around and for what felt like seconds we just stared endlessly into each other's eyes and at that moment I realized my heart desired two people!
Steven had the worst qualities one could want in a lover: smug, arrogant, cocky, selfish, mean, overprotective, rude, cold, and polarizing yet all of those negative traits never turned me away from him. His brain melting good looks drew me in and his terrible personality kept me in place. I don't know why but I was always somewhat attracted to the lowest class of people, the people that lived in the bad part of town that your parents warned you about, the people like Steven. Then there was Jorge, a gentle, caring, passionate, observant, yet dominating and drop dead gorgeous who in less than a year gave a new meaning to my life. He was the true epitome of what men strived to be, never in my life have a met such a person who was beautiful inside and out.
"Chris why don't you love me anymore?"
"Because you're bad. You're the worst person I've ever met in my life and I positively hate you with every nerve in my body. I want you to just get out of my life and never come back. But I want you here... forever."
"You don't want me. You love me."
"Don't say that! I know what I love and its, its--"
"Its what Chris tell me."
"No. Leave me alone!"
"Fine then. If you can't tell me what you really want then I'll just leave you alone."
As Steven walked out the bathroom door I felt no sadness, no pain or hurt, only emptiness. I felt like somebody just ripped out all of my organs and left me with the appendix, like there was nothing there to support me. I collasped to the floor and in the process I must have hit my head on something because everything went faded to black. Waking in the nurse's office Eric sat at the foot at the bed with a face of mystery. I didn't think he actually knew about Steven and I because I still haven't told him, but this kid does have a knack for finding things out before he was supposed to.
"Eric."
"Yes brother."
"I can't do it any longer."
"Can't do what?"
"I can't let go. I can't let go of the person who set my world on fire, I can't let go of the my love, even though I tried I can't let go. He's all I know, he's all I want, I can't let go. I love Jorge but he isn't what my heart wants."
"Christiano you have got to be some type of fucking person. The universe gives you the GQ man himself in you just want to ship him off for some loser ass like Steven?! He does so much shit for you, he loves you! But you're undeserving of his love. You truly fucking suck."
"There's no arguing with that."
"Absolutely the most pathetic excuse for a human I've seen in all my days."
At the very moment I wanted to shout out so much but there was nothing for me to say. Eric was right in everything he said I did have a good man by my side but how I can make my heart love what it doesn't? How can I make my heart forget about what gave it life? Maybe what I'm doing is wrong but oh well. Shit happens in life and you just have to roll along with it. Eric slammed the door behind him and yelled some explicit phrases in the hallway and at people walking around him and I didn't blame him. He always got mad when I did stupid things and this was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. My train of thought was interrupted when Jorge walked into the room with a ring box in his hand and tears in his eyes.
"Jorge I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry but.. I'm sorry I really am."
"Its ok Chrissy if I'm not what you want I'm not what you want. There's nothing I can do about that unfortunately."
"Well whats in the box?"
"Just a stupid little ring I was going to give you. It was going to represent that me and you were one, and we stay with each other until death, always be in love. But I guess it just didn't work for you. Sorry I wasted your time Christian."
"Jorge you didn't waste anything. I'll never forget about the laughs, the smiles, the fights, and the sex. I won't forget anything we've ever done and you'll always be on my mind even if we aren't together. I'm sorry for doing this to you, I really am."
"Ight. I'll just be on my way."
"Papi."
"There's nothing left to say, you're mind is made up and you know who you want. I don't want to be around to trouble you any longer."
"So that's it? We're over?"
"Lets be honest you knew we were over since last week when Steven gave you that ride home. I'll be on my way now."
And just like that he was gone. The tears slowly streamed down my cheeks and I layed in the bed this time with actual feelings. My gut was in knots, my chest was sore, I felt as though there was a lump in my throat, and I had the worst headache. I couldn't think straight or function properly knowing what I've done. Pictures of Steven invaded my mind, he looked so happy and that gave me butterflies inside but Jorge was popping up just as frequently. I was so twisted in the brain, hell in one hand, hell in the other. There was nothing for me to do except lay there and cry my eyes out because I knew Jorge was somewhere doing the same thing.