Jono's Journey Home

*** Gentle readers Nifty needs donations to provide so many wonderful stories -- Please consider a gift today *** http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

Chapter 12 - The Long Road Begins

December 19th - Rehab after major trauma is a bitch and I was not looking forward to going through it again. As if losing 3/4 of one lung wasn't bad enough, it was compounded with nerve damage to the right arm as well as muscle and ligament damage.

I awoke this Friday morning to Tam gently stroking my forehead and the bridge of my nose with his finger. "Sweet boy, it is time for you to wake."

"Morning Tam." In my still sleepy delirium I had forgotten what it happened to my shoulder. I reached out to hold my beloved, only to feel pain like a pointed sharp hot knife thrusting into my upper chest. I whimpered and winced in pain. I retracted and sheltered my right arm.

"In time Jono, in time." He kissed my forehead. "Now sit up so we can do OUR range of motion exercises." I scowled at him as he enunciated the word OUR. "Now, none of that. If you do not do your work, I will not allow you to play. If you do your range of motion exercises for me, I have a grand surprise for you today."

Hmmm bribery, maybe rehab won't be so bad this time after all, I thought.

I sheltered my arm protecting it as I sat up, just as the doctor taught me to. I knew the tendons and muscles were very tender at the moment and would require extra protection. Tam sat behind me and wrapped his left arm around me and pulled me upright holding me in form. With his right he guided my arm through the stretching and range of motion exercises.

When we finished the 15 minute routine, I was covered with sweat and trembling. Tam wrapped both of his arms around me until the trembling stopped. "It will come in time my baby bear. I am proud of you." He kissed the back of my neck.

We showered and dressed for the day. Tam handed me my underwear and a light gray light weight track suit. The t-shirt was loose and not an issue. The briefs however were a different story they wouldn't stay up long enough to put on the pants. It quickly went from comical to saddening as the sheer fabric pooled at my feet.

Tam hugged me tightly, "We will get through this." His hands dropped to my hips. It was as it I could see a light bulb going on over his head. He returned my robe to my shoulders and sat me on the settee. "I will be right back..." and darted from the suite.

When he returned he had a white satiny fabric in his hand. After unfolding and seeing the embroidered roses on it I could tell it was a girls panty. He gently held my scrotum and cock as he whispered in my ear, "I know you are a boy, it is temporary. These need protection."

I dropped my head as I donned the emasculating garment. He pulled my head up and kissed my lips. "You are so beautiful my pretty boy." I wondered if they came from a niece or sister. The thought occurred; my man performed a panty raid for me.

Underwear is underwear, I thought to myself in agreement. I couldn't help but play with the flowers on the waistband. The track suit had oversized zipper pulls to put on. I felt like a child, the only thing he missed were the...

...FUCK!! He got them, shoes with Velcro fasteners. It's official he thinks I'm a two year old... or an invalid. I quickly thought to myself, this is temporary, he is perfect, this too will pass. Apparently I was going to have a new corollary mantra, the phrase, this is temporary.

When we entered the family dining room, I could see Tam was not kidding about Reza's mom. She had prepared all of my favorite morning foods, sans bacon of course. Not in small portions either.

Fahima had my morning meds in a cup next to my juice. "You can take them orally, or I do have injectables..." She smiled as she delivered her not so veiled threat. I swallowed the pills and chased it with the juice.

Down at the other end of the table there was a different dining experience going on. Nessa had prepared Najib's breakfast...

Najib bless his heart, was trying to make it look like he was enjoying her offering. For the record, sarma should not be crunchy. She could tell his enjoyment was an act. I could tell momma bear was on the verge of tears.

"Nessa, could you make me some of your stuffed lamb-chops and cornbread or maybe hush puppies and your blackened red fish before you go back? I am missing bubba comfort food powerfully bad, and yours is almost like my Momma's was."

Nessa once shared the story of the first time she made cornbread as a little girl for her daddy. It was like this morning's meal result. Her smile lit up the room, I knew I triggered a good memory. I ate what I could and thanked Daliyah. My hunger cycle hadn't tripped yet. Something was still wrong. I knew it, the look Nessa gave me told me she did too.

Papa Omar asked to walk in the gardens after breakfast. Before we left I explained to Daliyah I was not insulting her outstanding cooking. I needed to make Nessa happy. "She is a good cook, but she was far outside her comfort zone trying to please Najib."

Daliyah rested her head against mine saying, "I know this, you are such a good boy. No offense was received."

Later Nessa would tell me that Daliyah offered to trade lessons in how to make comfort food for Najib, for lessons in how to make comfort food for me. I loved my new family.

On our walk Papa didn't complain when I had to take so many breaks. Even at his great age he had more wind than I did. I had to keep remembering it was going to take time for my body to get used to the lower oxygen level. This sucked.

On the far side of the garden was an older tiny two stall stable. Tam and Fahima were leaning on the fence railing looking at a white horse laying in the sand. My pace quickened I wanted to be with my Tam. I yearned for his smell and touch. Papa rested his hand on my arm, "Slowly Jono, he will still be there. As will our surprise."

The horse was laying facing away from us. It was being brushed by Waleed. Tam stroked my cheek and asked in English, "Did you enjoy your walk Jono?"

Out of habit I replied in English, "I enjoy every moment I have with Papa." The filly's ears twitched and she rose. I let out a, "Ooh pretty girl." The horse became excited, and Waleed backed away quickly. She spun and began prancing as she saw me. "Fajira? No way!" She ran to the rail and rested her face in my chest.

I praised and thanked Tam and Papa for this wonderful surprise. Waleed said warmly, "She has been so melancholy since she arrived. I was afraid the shock of relocation was too much. Has she always nipped so lightly?"

"Only light nips? She must like you. Why did you think Mehrdad called her 'Wicked One?' Thank you for looking after my girl Waleed." I kissed her sweet face. I remembered how Uncle Jack was so impressed how she responded to me after the crash. She was my therapy and workout partner as I learned how to walk and run again. No doubt Mehrdad shared that story as well.

She pulled back sniffing. My left arm stroked her forelock as her head twisted as if she was examining her boy. My right hand played with her chin. "Yeah, I screwed myself up again sweetie." She harrumphed in apparent agreement.

Papa Omar said, "It seems that Mehrdad did not exaggerate your relationship with this beauty."

"Papa, I have had all kinds of animals; birds, cats, and dogs. I even had an orphaned fox once. Though cute, they were just pets, or wild critters I nursed back to health, but a horse like Fajira, is a partner that walks alongside you." He smiled in agreement.

As Naser exited the stable Waleed's face glowed, and his eyes dropped. Naser told me, "Just so you know, you will be doing your walking together here for the next month. This is the quarantine yard. You must wash before contacting any other animals." I acknowledged and understood the restriction. "It will be nice to show others where Habeeba gets her lines from."

The rest of the Hassan's and Waleed left me alone with my girl and Tam. Fajira was moving her head around slowly, as my right hand caressed her cheek. My head snuggled into Tamam's massive chest listening to the thumping of his heart.

After a few moments I looked at the horse, "You sneaky bitch."

Tam asked, "What is wrong Jono?"

"She is figuring out how bad my arm is damaged. Each time she moves my arm and hits a pain point, she moves her head another direction."

"Jono, it is just a horse. Don't anthropomorphize the beast."

"Tam, I know to you she is only a horse. But when I look at her, I see something in there looking back." Tam shook his head it was clear, though he was hung like a horse, he did not share the same equestrian spirit the rest of his family had.

He gave me the rest of the restrictions on my visits. I had to have someone with me until my respiratory system adjusted. I was also required to stay outside the ring until HE thought I was strong enough. I really wish he had selected a third-party arbiter who could make that decision. But he was Tamam, he was perfection.

He saw the concern on my face, "Jono, I know it pains you to hear this you are frail right now. Let us protect and help you. There are things and animals in this country that your Fajira does not know. We do not know how she will react. She is learning and you are learning, this is a dangerous combination. Obey me on this." I agreed, giving my word.

I walked back to the house holding on to his arm for strength. He was my rock. With him on my side I knew I could not fall.

We entered through the communal kitchen and Fahima gave me some kind of fruit smoothie. This was going to become a two-hour ritual. I would either be absorbing a heavy calorie protein based health shake, snack, or meal. She just stared at me until I put the glass to my lips and gulped a bit of it down, then smiled. Strawberry banana, clearly someone had been talking to Afsoon again.

Fahima told Tamam that she and Daliyah were taking Nessa to market with Najib. I told her the light outside was hurting my eyes and asked if she could pick up some kohl. She kissed my forehead and said she would. She then sat me down and took my vitals.

"Your heart sound is strong like a hammer, pulse is a little high, BP is normalish 'for you.' Pulse oximeter reading is..." she glared at her older brother, "...you pushed him too hard." She pulled over the oxygen dolly and put the non-rebreather on my face. "Slow down, let your recovery take the time it needs. You know rehab takes time Jono."

She taught Tam and I how to use the protocal machine to check my vitals every 3 hours I was awake. "If you feel light headed, oxygen first THEN get the vitals. Father has ordered oxygen cylinders for you at various spots in the house." She turned to Tam, "If his lips turn blue, or he becomes breathless, oxygen then vitals."

She held my cheek and made direct eye contact to drive her point home. "Use the oxygen, when you have to. There are two protocal machines in the house. One here and one next to your bed. Unless you are sleeping, I expect to see journal entries every 3 hours. If you are napping that gets journaled too. No cheating."

"Yes Fahima." We replied. She touched her forehead to mine, then did the same to Tam and left us.

When we arrived back in Tam's living room, my eyes misted over. My baggage had arrived and was unpacked from the hotel. They set my cello up in the middle of the spacious room. With so little control over my bowing arm, I knew it was a long way off before I could play again, assuming I ever could.

Tam pulled me to his chest. "In time little one. Give it time." His words did comfort me. That and the steady drumbeat of his heart. That sound always settled me.

"For now Tam, can we please put it back in the case until..." He didn't let me finish my thought. He pulled me up from the floor and pressed his lips to mine. My tongue flicked along the bottom of his. He had an odd look on his face as he pulled away and returned my feet to the floor.

He reached down and grabbed the glass with the frozen concoction and took a sip and spat. "Only my sister could make a simple blended drink undrinkable. I must warn Vanessa not to take any more cooking lessons from her, or Najib may die." We laughed at his joke.

"It's not her fault, she is trying to buffer my stomach from all the pills. She apparently also knows how much I hate needles. She blended powdered vitamin and protein supplements within the smoothie. Some hospitals and body builders in the states do it to." He responded with a knowing nod.

I made quick work of downing the vile concoction including the gritty bit at the bottom. Then I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get the taste out of my mouth. That taste made me understand why dogs lick their testicles after eating canned food. When I emerged Tamam was laying naked on the bed smiling at me, apparently he was to be my reward for my good behavior.

I started removing the tracksuit, feeling grateful it was so loose. I was even grateful for the oversized easy pull zippers. I started to kick off my shoes. He raised his finger and wagged it at me. Everything was therapy, even taking off my shoes. I bent down lifted the Velcro flaps and stepped out of each shoe. Then I rolled each sock down and off my feet.

I straightened up too fast and the room spun. Tam started to rise, I held up my hand and he stopped. In a moment the room stopped spinning. I continued to prepare for him. There were two large plastic clips on the pants holding the elastic waistband in place. Once released they fell to the floor taking my borrowed panties with them.

I climbed onto the bed and then up to my Tamam. I sat alongside him leaning against his furry bronze chest, as if leaning on the chaise. After I caught my breath, he began caressing my chest, and playing with my pink nipples then he traced my now very visible ribs. I had lost so much definition.

Slowly he moved his hand to the right upper-side of my chest and with his fingertips he traced the outlines of the wound. I must have had an unusual look on my face because he asked, "What does it feel like?"

I described his touch the best I could. I said I could feel him touching my skin, but it also didn't feel like it was me that he was touching. There was like a numb disembodied sensation. He kissed me again as he started to roll us. I sat up putting my hand in his chest. I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. "Does my baby bear have a request?" He cocked his head and asked.

"You have done so much for me. Please let me do this for you. I need to know, I can still make you happy." I said feebly kissing his lips. He told me that I made him happy just by breathing in and out. But still he allowed me to straddle his frame. Tamam was already in an excited state which made me being on top much easier. To be honest gravity would do most of the work of entry.

I put the tube of lube in my left hand and squirted a generous amount into my right. Reaching behind me I grabbed hold of Tam's cock and slowly lubed it with my right hand. He groaned as he responded, "That's my good boy." I loved being his good boy, just as I loved that he was my man.

I was having trouble getting his thick shaft against my pucker. His hands slid from my waist and clutched both of my ass cheeks pulling them further apart. "That's it." I muttered. His dripping cock head made contact with my butt-hole. As it stretched and penetrated the sphincter, my head rolled back and my arms rested on the bottom of his ribs for support. His muscles made it feel like I was sitting on a bouncy house.

I drew in a ragged breath as he took over control, keeping his cock firmly planted in my hole as I slowly sank further down on it. Thank you Isaac Newton, I thought as gravity continued to draw our bodies together. Every so often I would bounce to get a little relief from the incredible pressure I was feeling inside of me. It wasn't until I was fully mounted that I realized why there was so much pressure.

My lip disappeared into its hiding place, as a look of shame crept across my face. "What is wrong little one? You have done so well." He asked.

"I am so sorry Tam, I forgot to clean myself for you today." It was the first time he ever took me dirty.

He roared laughing and rubbed my nose with his hand, "Do not worry, we did not plan this." He rolled his hips beneath me as if to tell me to get back to work, and work I did. At his direction; I varied the speed, tension, and angle as my ass thrust down and back up on his swollen member.

I begged him, "Fuck me my fuzzy bear, own your little bear." He bounced his hips up to meet my downward stroke. I could feel his shaft twitching, "Seed me deep my love!" His arms pulled me downward fully burying himself inside me. His cock released his seed within my filthy bottom.

I collapsed breathlessly on his chest. My sweat made his skin look like polished bronze. He brushed the long bangs from my face. "Sweet boy, there is nothing more to prove to me. Know that I love my baby bear, as I know he loves me." I heard the hissing from the oxygen mask. "Now we must make Fahima happy."

I was tightly clenching my ass trying to keep the messy slime within me. He sensed my shame and pressed his tank top t-shirt against my bottom. I rolled on my back for my oxygen treatment. He hooked me up to the protocal machine. It's annoying bleeping recording my every heartbeat.

"Now to please my very good baby bear, and confuse my little sister." He parted my legs and laid between then. The bleeping intensified as he nibbled the flesh of my inner thighs. My right hand caressed his cheek as he sucked my tiny nuts into his mouth caressing each with his tongue. His eyes made contact with the infernal machine. He stopped sucking and released my sack. Long enough to coach me, "Breathe deeply little one."

He sucked powerfully on my dwarfish rod. My back arched as I caressed his shoulders. It took no time at all before it erupted in his mouth. I was waiting for him to make the climb up my body and share my seed with me again.

I was surprised when he pulled the non-rebreather mask away from my face and simply kissed me. I was shocked with the fact he swallowed my wad. I could taste the medicinal taste on his lips, I knew my seed must have tasted rank. My nose wrinkled at the unsatisfactory flavor. He smiled, "It tastes like you are healing." Then he replaced the mask and kissed my forehead.

After my treatment was over and the true vitals were recorded he carried me into the bath. He paused for a moment at the intercom on the wall. Pushing the button he directed housekeeping to clean the bedroom. He then closed the door giving us privacy in the bath.

I went into the smaller room with the toilet and bidet and the shit, lube, and cum exploded from my ass. Then I straddled the bidet and cleaned the mess from me. Tam was smiling as he saw the look of absolute release on my face.

As I finished, nature called to him as well. I rose as he approached the bowl. I wrapped my left arm around his waist, and took his cock in my right hand. Aiming it at the bowl, I felt him release and the amber piss flow through his cock towards the bowl.

When the flow ended there was a single stubborn drop clinging to the slit. I remembered my Uncle Jack had a crude poem; "You may wiggle, you may dance, you always get two on your pants." I bent at the waist and cleaned it off with my tongue. It tasted odd it was warm, sour, and salty but not revolting. To be honest, it tasted better than Fahima's health drink. I took the head of his shaft in my mouth and gave a gentle suck. It was followed by a sense of shame over what I had just done.

When I stood again, he pulled me close. My head was still down, I was afraid to look at his face and see a look of disgust on it. He put his hand under my chin. My eyes rolled up dutifully. He was grinning, "No one has ever done that for me. You are my great prize."

He led me to the shower and cleaned me inside and out. As he was drying my body off I noticed the tiny red light on the light switch went off. I pointed to it and asked. "Tam, what does the little red light mean?"

He pulled me in a tight embrace. "You heard me call for housekeeping?" I nodded. "The red light means housekeeping is in the room. When it goes out it tells us they have finished with their task and the room is ready."

"What happens if the bulb burns out?"

He laughed, "They see me naked." He suddenly looked down at my blushing form and stopped laughing and broke our embrace. When I looked up to see what was wrong he said, "Do not call for housekeeping until you are dressed for the day." He didn't want me embarrassed by the staff. I wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him an uneven hug.

He kissed my forehead, and played with my hair again. "Perhaps, we will go to Amman's spa Sunday and get your hair cut. Would you like that?"

He saw the panic on my face. "Jono, you cannot hide on this ranch. Amman will be overjoyed to see you. Just a haircut. Perhaps a therapeutic bath would help your breathing. Wouldn't you enjoy one of Jy Ang's massages and facials?"

I dropped the bath-sheet to the floor. "Tam, I am not ready for anyone to see me like this. Please can we wait?" I saw the look of disappointment on his face. "I'm sorry, I know it is just weakness, I'm afraid. Let me ask Nessa to trim it back and we can go next week. Please Tam, I am just not ready."

His arms crushed my naked frame to his chest. "Next week then. Jono, you are weak physically, for now. You have a strong giant spirit. You must rediscover that spirit." He kissed me again.

He knew my spirit, was as damaged as my flesh. Naveed and the Bulgarian still haunted my dreams. The last good night's sleep I had was my 3 week coma. He knew I was living on cat naps. The doctor advised against the use of sedatives. The specialists were concerned about stress and the use of sedatives triggering a second coma.

That night Nessa and Daliyah served their blackened red fish, hush puppies, greens and cornbread. Najib's eyes glowed every time he looked at Nessa. Aziz joined us after "dropping by" to visit. He said he wanted to see how I was settling in for his father. I sensed other motives. I knew in this country one does not just stop by without an invite.

After dinner I learned Najibullah's second name Mueez, "Distinguished Protector" it fit him so well. Especially when I discovered it was Najib who did the background investigation on me for Tam. I was sitting in Omar's office signing a huge stack of papers. He had found father's will on file in Al-Hareeq. The documentation was proof of my claim to his estate.

Najib showed me father's will. In the final codicil he named Mikaeel as his choice to take over operations of the family holdings. Our portions of the estate would be held in trust until we turned 21. He desired his sons first be educated and prepared for the burden of leading.

There was a list of men he hoped would carry that burden, Omar was first on that list, the King was third. Professor Ghorbani was a bit lower, but still on the list. There was a flash of shame and regret on Omar's face. I rested my right hand on his chest and asked, "Are you willing to be my Papa? I can think of none better."

He smiled returning my gesture. "It would be my highest honor." I knew it was a great honor in Islam to foster a foundling as the Prophet had done.

With a stroke of a pen I was made a part of the mighty Hassan family. I knew it was symbolic. Under the law, I would hold a lower position than all of his son's. I also would maintain my name, so it would not confuse the bloodlines and genealogies, also part of religious law.

Aziz, Tam, Naser, and Waleed witnessed the signing of the documents. Aziz embraced me asking if he could still consider me a brother. I replied, "Under HIM, are we not all brothers?"

The moment was short lived as Fahima approached directing me to sit. "I am sorry my little brother, your lips are blue again. You need more oxygen." I hated how the looks on the faces of these powerful men changed to pity.

I was starting to hate the hiss of the O2 bottle as well. I could tell her training was in pediatric care because she flavored the oxygen with cherry. I started getting hard, cherry made me think of my Tam.

I asked for permission to be alone with Papa's papers for a moment. The family left the room except Tam and Najib, Fahima flashed a watch him signal at Tam. Najib handed me a sealed envelope with my name on it. I recognized father's penmanship. Then he left me alone with Tam and my father's words.

Tam pulled a chair in front of mine. He sat facing me to give me a degree of privacy with Papa's words. My hands were shaking as I broke the wax seal and unfolded the yellowed sheets of paper. I could smell a whiff of his cologne, it had been so long. I inhaled the odor on the sheet deeply. When I saw his beautiful calligraphy, I saw where my penmanship came from. Momma, Uncle Jack, and Mike all had chicken scratch when it came to writing. It was as if I could hear his voice as I read his words in our secret language.

"Jono, if you are reading this I have left you and this world behind. Today we have just buried my father. I am writing this to you from his desk, using his old pen and blotter. You and Mikaeel are sleeping in my boyhood room. I was so pleased that you were by my side today. My father loved you greatly, as I and your mother do. I was so proud of you when his student tried to comfort you, and you in turn comforted him. I saw even with the tears in your eyes as you said 'From Allah we came and to Allah is our return.' Such great wisdom for such a tiny boy.

In my life I have received many gifts from Allah. None match his four great ones that are blessings on top of blessings. 1) The preservation of my life in battle. 2) His provision of my wife and partner. 3) A powerful son to lead the family. 4) And then you the wise son to help guide his path, and bring comfort to the rest.

Oh Jono, Allah has been most merciful to me and our family.

The events of this day remind me there are some things that must be said, while we have the time. There are some things today you are just not old enough or ready to hear.

Mikaeel and you are two sides of the same coin. It is my hope that the close bond you share in youth will carry you through life. Each of you is strong in the others weakness. You are the strategist, you think of life months and years down the road. Your brother is a tactician dealing with what is in front of him only. Both are exemplary skills to possess, but one without the other is asking for disaster. I hope I have lived long enough to see many grandsons from you both.

Care for my wife as I would. You mother is to want for nothing."

I was saddened by the realization, he did not see a world I would be left alone.

I continued reading, "Remember Mikaeel is your older brother and will control the majority of my holdings, obey him. I have seen how you guide him now. He trusts your council, God willing, this does not change. If you MUST make a challenge to a decision that you know to be wrong, one I would not make, I have given my old friend Omar Hassan 5% interest. That is enough to carry your side. DO NOT shame my memory by abusing this.

If Mikaeel does not want involvement in the company make arrangements to give him that which is his due. If you choose a different path as well, keep the company in trust. Just let it continue providing for you and the family, and the many charities it supports.

For now my son walk the path our Prophet shows you, 'Inna lilahi wa inna elayhi rajioon' (From Allah we came and to Allah is our return). I love you so much my son, my fourth great gift from Allah."

I set the pages on the desk. My tears were streaming from my eyes an over the oxygen mask. Tam came off his chair pulling me in to rest my head on his shoulder. When my tears subsided and Tam calmed me, a realization occurred to me. Tam was so very much like my Mike.

When he knew I was calm, Tam rose. "What did he say?"

I told him, "If father had a message for my eyes alone, he would write it in Kufic. He was telling me to care for my mother and obey Mike." I had another realization I inhaled deeply from the mask. "Tam please get your... our father, brothers, and Aziz." He was about to ask why, but didn't when he saw the look on my face.

Papa hugged me and sat in his chair. His eyes glanced at the note and he smiled. "If it is private, you should know many read Kufic."

"Papa was hiding his message from Mike. Mike's mind was closed to Islam and anything that predated us. The note contained instruction to get you if I HAD to stand against Mikaeel. His desire for secrecy is no longer relevant."

Najib read the letter aloud then gave me a hug of support. Then sat to my left. Tam brushed my cheek, he and Najib adjusted their chairs to see both Papa and I. Aziz and Naser sat on the sofa behind Tam.

"Najib, is father's estate large?"

He replied, "Jono, you needn't worry. Your father has provided very well for you. I am still discovering how large the estate is. The papers you just signed allow father and I to act on your behalf. You should not be concerned about this. Let us shoulder this burden for now. I do know his father's home and other properties are still being cared for by the estate."

My head began to spin. I slumped forward in the chair. The next thing I was on the floor and the powerful men were around me. Tam picked me up and stretched me out on the sofa calling for Fahima.

Tam rested his hand in the center of my chest. "Slowly, in through the nose and out through the mouth." I followed his breathing pattern and my heart rate slowed. He had such complete control over my body. I felt like an idiot, hyperventilating like that. No wonder they thought I was a weak child.

While Fahima examined me, Najib handed me the envelopes addressed to Mike and Momma. I raised my hand saying; "No, I have a perfect image of my father right now. Please, you read them. If you find information I NEED to know, just tell me."

Fahima announced I needed sleep. Tam picked me up and carried me to his bed. Fahima followed behind with the oxygen dolly. I had twenty nine more days of convalescent leave remaining. I was not looking forward to my time at Rhein-Main and my examination by the Medical Review Board (MRB). I couldn't even carry out a fucking conversation without losing my breath.

Monday the 22nd, 0126, and I am alone. Tam had to leave after dinner last night. He had duty to return to. Aside from helping with my range of motion exercises and a few pecks on my cheek and forehead he hasn't touched me since Friday night. Tonight Naser and Fahima hooked up my leads to the protocal machine. She silenced the infernal bleeping wished me a goodnight and left me alone with Naser.

He was a good sport and held me till I dosed off. He snuck out of the room about an hour a go. I can't blame him, he has someone to care for, Waleed needed him. Now I am awake, alone, and missing my Tam. God I wish he had taken me to the capital with him.

I know I would have been alone during the day, but I would have had him at night. The large room that I have been praising just weeks before now seems like a tomb for the dead. The echoing of the antique mantle clock ticking just reminded me I was alone.

I obeyed my promise to Fahima and took my vitals, then logged them in the journal. Thanks to Tam installing the large satellite dish I could watch the east coast networks. It's weird watching 60 Minutes and Murder She Wrote in the wee small hours of Monday morning.

I will confess to a pang of loneliness or homesickness thinking about Christmas on the Gulf Coast. The Ghorbani's celebrated the secular version of Christmas with the children under their care. They didn't push their faith on us. They just lived it before us.

I picked up the phone and called my foster family. Tam was old school, he still had rotary styled phones in his suite. It took forever to finish dialing the international call. It was Afsoon who answered. She was exceptionally good with time conversions. "Jono my silly boy, you should be asleep. Why are you still awake?"

I told her a half truth. "I can't sleep Mama."

She chided me, "Young man, if you do not sleep you will not heal. On nights like this I know where I would have found you. Down in the barn, sleeping with that horse." I told her that was out of the question here. My new family forbade me from going to the stables alone.

It is true, in the old days I would go off and carry a blanket to the stables and sleep with my horse. Afsoon once caught me sleeping with Fajira. I was using her chest as a pillow. Fajira would pull my blanket back over me when I'd toss it off in my sleep.

She passed the phone around to my foster siblings. They all bombarded their big brother with questions about life on the other side of the world. Jason the 6 year old asked if it was summer where I was. Mehrdad laughed and showed Jason his desk globe as I told him about the difference between the eastern and western hemispheres. Then the northern and southern hemispheres.

Mehrdad told me he was now alone in his office. I brought him up to speed on the changes in my life. He told me Papa Omar arranged to expand their home. Each child would have their own room. He also said my gifts for the children had arrived and Afsoon wrapped them for me.

I told him Nessa and I were missing Christmas a bit. But we knew we would adapt. I asked for him to take lots of photos of the kids opening their gifts for me. He told me to be a good boy and try to go back to sleep.

I hung up the phone I fell asleep in the chair. I was suddenly a little less alone.

I awoke to Fahima nagging about how I shouldn't sleep in the chair. I told her to be grateful, it was 4 hours of sleep I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. I told her how I called the Ghorbani's. She told me next time get some warm milk.

She left me alone with Naser and Waleed. They helped me with my range of motion exercises. We changed into workout clothes and went into the family's gym for some time on the treadmill. Waleed took the machine next to me to help keep my pace. Fahima had my treadmill programmed to a target pulse rate and no higher. If I exceeded that threshold the machine started a cool down cycle.

It was set too low for my liking. But at least it was more than just a walk. Considering that I didn't turn blue like a smurf, I guess she was right. The last thing I did was weigh myself. Each day I was painfully slowly adding a pound or two. I knew if I didn't start increasing the workout load soon I would plateau.

I emerged from my shower to Naser selecting my wardrobe, "Naser, can I start wearing regular clothes? I really need to start working on my finger dexterity."

"Wouldn't playing the piano, or your cello, help that as well?" My eyes dropped. My fear was palpable. With the damage to the nerve bundle feeding the right arm I was terrified I lost the gift of music. "I think Tamam would understand and approve the request. In exchange, Wednesday Waleed, you, and I will have a spa day."

As quid pro quos go that wasn't so bad. I quickly nodded in agreement and added the condition, "If Tamam tells me it is okay."

He rifled my hair like I was a child. "We'll drop Fahima and Vanessa off at their spa and make a family day of it at the mall." I perked up at that. I was eager to purchase some underwear that actually fit me both in size and in gender.

Naser let me do something Tam didn't, he let me select my own clothing. I don't think Tamam was overly controlling, I genuinely think that he enjoyed picking my clothes for the day. It took time but I did get the shirt buttoned on my own.

We went out and join the family for breakfast Fahima chided me over my sleep journal. Papa asked what was wrong. I answered honestly, "I'm sorry Papa I'm just a little lonely in that big room." Naser said I would adjust, and he would stay longer tonight. I felt awful, now I was stealing his time away from Waleed.

I made myself feel like a child. Afraid of the dark, so afraid of things that I cannot see and have no control over. So afraid of what I see when I dream. I couldn't let them know that I was still seeing the Bulgarian and Naveed each time I closed my eyes to sleep. Still stalking and killing me over and over in my dreams. I used to wonder as a small child if you die in your dreams, do you die in reality. I now know that is not true.

Monday and Tuesday were a blur of meals, exercise, and extreme frustration over the lack of sleep I was receiving. Naser tried to bring some normalcy to my sleep pattern. Each night the pattern repeated, as soon as he would leave me I would wake up.

December 24th, Wednesday morning at 2:45 I received a phone call. It was my beloved asking me why I was not asleep. BUSTED! The security guard on patrol must have seen the lights on in his office and ratted me out.

"Tam, I am having bad dreams. They keep me awake. Our room is so very empty. The bed is a lonely place without you. I even took your pillows, scented them with your cologne, and tried to snuggle against them. Without your heartbeat it just wasn't the same."

"My sweet boy, I have missed you as well."

"Tam, Naser wants to take Waleed and I to the spa. I am back to wearing regular clothing again. It is loose but I can still wear almost all of it. I still have to wear your nieces panties, mine still fall down or bunch up. I am gonna pick up some boys briefs when we hit the mall."

"I am very proud of you, Jono. Both Fahima and Naser have been giving me regular updates on your recovery I know about the changes to your weight and exercise level. Papa tells me less of your ribs are showing. I cannot wait to see you."

"My sweet fuzzy bear, are you coming home Thursday night or Friday sometime?"

He replied, "Barring an emergency, I will be by your side Thursday night so that you may sleep again. People here miss you. The Ambassador has had to use a man who speaks Farsi to translate. It has caused some issues. You are missed greatly, but I miss you more than all combined."

I begged him, "Please take me back to Riyadh with you Sunday. The week is just too long without you. I would make your home happy."

"None of that Jono, you are doing well in therapy. You need to continue, our family will support you and help you. There is no one in Riyadh who could help you through your range of motion exercises and therapy. I leave for the base far too early in the morning and come home far too late. Please trust my family to care for you.

I promise to obey. He asked if I had enjoyed any playtime in his absence. I told him I yearned only for his touch and no one else could measure up.

Tam told me I was being foolish that Naser could pleasure my hole almost as well as he could. He said I was a young man with yearnings of my own. He said he would take no shame if I was seeking outside release. I asked if he was seeking outside relief.

Again he was thinking of me as a child. One who could not control my desires and drives. A spoiled brat who needed to be released on a regular basis.

"Jono, have you at least played with any of the toys Reza selected for you?" I told him I had not, but I had thought of it. My hand was gliding across the case as we spoke. He told me to open the case, select a toy, and describe it to him.

I opened the case and removed a narrow latex rod with five spherical nodes along its shaft. It had a cute curve on the very end that reminded me of Reza's cock. He laughed at the description, "That is a very good choice. Now go over to my side of the bed. On the nightstand, turn on the speaker phone."

Once I completed his request and was hands free he continued his tutelage. "Remove your pajamas, but I want you to leave your panties on for now. I will teach you how to pleasure yourself as if I were there. You can do whatever you want with your left hand but your right belongs to me. Okay?" Of course I said yes.

He directed me to twist the base of the toy. It sprung to life in my hands and began vibrating. He had me pull the tip of the latex shaft across my lips then had me wet the toy. It was so intimate and sensual responding to his every command.

He had me drag the vibrating play thing down my neck and caress my left nipple in small tight circles. He told me to use a very light touch. Then he had me do the same to the right nipple. I could imagine Tam's touch on my naked flesh. My pink buds became firm and sensitive.

He asked me to pull my left hand away from my crotch. How did he know I was touching myself. I guess once upon a time he was eighteen and horny himself. I chalked it up to him being perfect. He asked me to softly slide the dildo down my sternum and brush it over my panty covered cock. I closed my eyes and pretended it was his touch. I had another moan of pleasure. As I removed the floral embroidered panties at his command.

He had me lube the device and told me to take the tip and slowly push it into my butt-hole. "Just the tip for now, then slowly twist it around. You will love what the curved tip does to the other side of that rim." Between vibration, pressure, and the design of the curve on the end, it caused me to take a loud inhalation of air through my mouth. I let out a soft whimper. "Is my baby bear enjoying his toy."

"It's not you... but it will do for now."

"I miss you too my baby bear. Push more of it in until the first spherical bump is resting inside your rim. Give it a twist to make sure the lube gets spread evenly." Each successive spherical bump got a little twist and a couple pulls in and out.

After fifteen minutes under his firm verbal command I was sweating and breathing hard as my cock eruptive spraying my seed into the mattress. "Two hours away and I still bring pleasure to my boy..."

I went into the bath and obeyed Tamam's request, I took a long hot shower. I emerged to find Naser in my room he had my green pajamas, slippers, and a long robe laid out for me. Tam was worried about me, he must have called his brother. "Jono, why didn't you tell me that you were having such trouble sleeping?"

"I didn't want to be a bother. You have Waleed to care for. You shouldn't have to care for me too."

He rested his forehead against mine and rubbed our noses together. "Silly boy, Waleed's wounds have healed, yours are not. You are now both my baby brother, and my older brother's love. You are also my old friend. It is no burden to care for you." He pulled me close and suddenly he was just Naser, my childhood buddy.

Naser led me over to his wing, and into his room. He pulled me onto his bed. I rested under his right arm. Waleed rested under his left. We both rested our heads on Naser's chest. The gentle thumping of his heart lulled me into a deep sleep.

I awoke to the sound of an irate Fahima at the door. She wheeled in the protocal machine. The hours of rest had dropped my vitals into the normal range. No oxygen treatment needed, YEAH!! I kissed Naser and Waleed's cheeks. Waleed's hug was a bit longer than Naser's but nice.

After our workout and breakfast we headed to town with the girls. Daliyah and one of Omar's other wives were in the back with Fahima and Nessa. I got to sit up front between Naser and Waleed. After we dropped off the ladies at their spa, Naser broke the laws of physics, and no doubt the speed laws, getting as to Amman's spa.

Amman greeted us warmly. "Jono, I am so happy you are still with us." He looked at Naser, "Things are ready for you and your boy." Then they left me alone with Amman. "Do not be concerned, Jono your Tamam has already ordered your treatment." Jy Ang entered the room wearing a silk robe and his huge smile. He led me to a private room.

Once the door was closed and locked. He began removing my clothing. With the shirt off, his hands caressed my ribs. "Master Jono, you too skinny."

"You should have seen me four weeks ago." He shuddered at the image in his mind and kissed the wound site.

"We helps you get better. Much better." His hands undid my belt and opened my fly. My pants fell to the floor. I forgot about the blue satin panties I had been wearing. I blushed a soft pink.

"Master Jono, do not be embarrassed many clients wear girly things. I like them too." He showed me a flash of pink lace under his robe. I was gonna explain, but his soft velvety lips covered mine in a passionate kiss while his hand stroked my firming cock through the panties.

His kiss was so good I barely noticed he finished getting me naked. Jy led me to a tub filled with jasmine and magnolia scented hot water. He helped me into the bath, I closed my eyes and relaxed. My eyes opened when I felt a tiny cube of cheese pressed against my lips. Jy sat next to me wearing only his pink panties.

On our last visit I hadn't noticed Jy had breasts. They were tiny ones not even an A-cup, but definite girl-like breasts. He began scrubbing me and occasionally feeding me nibbles of fruit and cheese. He scrubbed low to tease my cock and keep me hard.

After twenty minutes my little guy was starting to hurt. The bath was over and Jy was helping me out of the tub. My feet were just on the mat and he was on his knees with his lips around my cock. My hand clutched his head, as his mouth bobbed on my cock. His hands played with the tender skin between my ass and balls.

After twenty minutes of his teasing me in the tub, I was needing release, and release I did. He greedily swallowed my foul tasting spunk. Then looked up at me grinning as if it was the best tasting cum he ever ate.

As if I couldn't be any more shocked he said, "Thank you Master Jono. I loves bringing you pleasure." Then he led me to the massage table. I was so grateful I was laying face down.

His fingertips were magic, under his care all of the tensions released. "Master Jono, you too tense you not heal like this. Muscles only grow strong with both work and rest." To drive his point home he squeezed a dense knot. I yelped, and he kissed the spot and continued.

With the back finally finished he helped me roll over. I almost ask for a cover towel but I thought that would be silly considering he just had my cock in his pretty lips. The medicated oils and his hands did the job, I was very relaxed.

He was taking perverse pleasure working my upper thighs. I was starting to get hard again, he saw it as well. "I am to care for all you needs. My jaw hurts, can I be taking you here?" He rested my hand on his cute ass. I blushed and sucked my lip. "This is yes maybe?"

I nodded and he helped me off the table and led me to a window bed. "Now we can be comfortable. Yes, Master Jono?"

"Jy, you don't have to do this."

"Master Jono does not find Jy pretty enough? Does he want another?" He pouted

"Jy you are gorgeous, I just don't have a lot for you, down there."

He chuckled and switched to Tagalog, "You have more than many. You are much kinder than most of my masters." He rolled me onto my back and held my tiny rod. I could see the outline of his cock as it snaked inside his panties. He was at least 3 inches longer than I was and much fatter too. I reached for it and he smacked my hand away. "Master Tamam said you can touch any part of me but that."

He turned away exposing the open back of his pink panties. I pulled him to my chest as Tam had done to me. "I am sorry babe. No one told me what I could or couldn't do. Can you forgive me?"

"How can I not, Master."

I pushed him onto his tummy and slid down his frame. I kissed my way down his spine. I kissed each of his panty covered cheeks. I pushed my finger through the access slit and against his dark hole, it yielded easily to my digit. I remembered the feeling of the dildo rubbing the inside of my ring and tried recreating it on his ass.

Jy moaned, "Master likes playing with his toy's pussy?" He pushed his hips back causing my finger to slide past the knuckle into his ass.

"Clearly my toy likes it." I figured I would play along with his 'Master Toy' fantasy. What could it hurt. "But I think my toy should ask for more, not just take it." I pulled the finger out and playfully swatted his butt.

"Please Master Jono, your toy wants more!!" He shouted. I parted his cheeks and sniffed his hole. I was surprised to discover it smelled of mint. I gently licked his pucker.

"Ooooh Master, eat my pussy please." My tongue dove into the stretched hole. It was mint, he scented his enema water with mint. It was an odd sensation on my tongue eating Jy's ass. The muscles clenched as I played with the strange sandy texture of his ass.

"Master please be fucking your toy's pussy. Breed my boy pussy, and make it yours."

I applied a bit more lube and slid my cock within him. "Jy, you have me so excited I don't know how long I will last."

"Master Jono, my pleasure is not important. You are the master I am the toy. Your pleasure is mine. Does your toy's pussy give you pleasure?"

I called it right, in less than five minutes I shot my wad 5 inches in his ass. "I am sorry Jy, I tried to hold it a little longer, your pussy felt too good. Would you like me to eat it again?" It felt wrong to use most of the dirty talk but it made Jy happy.

"No Master Jono, I must get you hair, eyes, and nails done." He reached over and removed a large butt plug from the shelf next to the bed. He handed it to me, "Please Master, I do not want to make a mess on floor. Will you help me?" I slid the plug into his ass and heard a click. "It is supposed to do that Master, it won't fall out now. Master Amman designed them to keep his floors clean.

Jy rolled onto his back and I climbed on top of him. I was still in the post orgasmic afterglow and I was not ready to let him go. I kissed is lips driving my tongue in his mouth as I held his right breast. When we broke our kiss I asked, "Did Amman do this?"

"No, he has been good master to Jy Ang. He had doctor fix my doctor's mistake. He made them right. He made me pretty." I cocked my head to the side confused. "Jy was born in the wrong body. I should have been a girl. Master Amman promised to send me to special hospital in Sweden to fix birth mistake."

"I know about being in the wrong body. Jy my Uncle used to tell jokes about my 'girlish' looks. I felt like I never measured up. I wish I was stronger, taller, and more manly."

"Master Jono, that is silly..." his hand slid between our bodies and held my re-firming cock in his hand. "See you is very virile and manly. You get hard for your toy again." He rolled me onto my back and began rubbing my cock between his tits. "See, Master Jono very much likes Jy I think."

I caressed his cheek and wiped my thumb across his lips he sucked it into his mouth. Clearly he was like me, very oral. He released my cock from his tits and wrapped his soft lips around it again. I knew I was not going to last Jy was too good at his job. My nuts swiftly released their third load into Jy's sweet mouth and I fell sound asleep.

I awoke to a tickling feeling on my right shoulder. I tried to lift my right arm only to find it pinned by Jy's body. My eyes opened to Jy straddling my arm. He had a mehndi pencil in his hand. "Master Jono, please lay still. I am almost done." I looked down at my shoulder to see the deep maroon henna ornate yin yang drawn over my wound. I panicked thinking what Tam would think.

"Master Jono please be calm, Master Amman and Naser came in to check on you while you slept. I told them of your thoughts of being in the wrong body. They let me do this." He kissed me with those damn full lips. "When you shot, more than your body was damaged. I think part of you spirit flowed out too."

He drew his finger around the outside circle of the tattoo. "This is you, your whole being." His finger pointed to each side of the symbol. "This is your Arab side, and this you American." He drew a few more fine lines on the light side "This also shows the soft, tender, submissive side you show to your Tamam."

He pointed back to the darker side. "This is how you are with me, dominant but still just as tender, gentle, and beautiful. You have the nurturing soul of an artist we must help you heal." He covered the design and taped it off. I knew the paste had to stay on for a day for best effect. I wanted Tam to be the one to unwrap it.

He trimmed my hair back to my shaggy brush cut. Then applied the kohl to my eyes. "I performed you manicure and pedicure while you slept." Then he returned me to Naser and Waleed.

We picked up the ladies and did a bit of shopping. It took time but I found underwear that fit me... I shook my head laughing... in the children's section, full circle I thought. They were covered with tiny Tasmanian Devils! Even Naser could not stifle laughter. Nessa, Daliyah, and the older wife scowled at him. In the end a good time was had by all.

I couldn't put my finger on what changed, but for the first time in many years I could laugh at myself. It felt like a huge burden had been removed from me. When we returned home I stowed away my acquisitions. I glanced over at the bed Tam's side was covered with a giant teddy bear. There was a card from Tam...

"Jono, this is only a stand in for my boy in my absences. Rest your head on its chest as you would my own."

I snuggled with the teddy and followed his instructions I heard the sound of Tam's heart. I quickly fell asleep awaiting the morning.

• Continued

Izzy

--Izzy