This is a story about one gay community's response to a gay bashing gang. It is not a true story, it comes from the fantasy that is my mind L Because of the subject matter there is of course the allusion and description of violence. I have not written about violence for the sake of violence, it is more a reporting of violence that has happened, to direct the fundamental subject of the story.
The first two chapters set the stage for what is to come. So you may find it is rather slow going, you can judge for yourselves. I felt they were necessary to the story.
This is a story about gay sex. If this offends you read no further. If this subject matter is illegal for you to read or have in your political jurisdiction then please go no further.
My main purpose is for you to have some enjoyable reading.
I would appreciate any comments you might have
myonge@hotmail.com
The Epilogue
Steve woke up slowly. He had a pounding headache; his mind was a bit foggy like he had been wakened before he was ready to wake up.
Opening his eyes he saw the familiar things of his own room. He was confused and pondered what was going on. Had he been dreaming? He couldn't remember even what day it was. Should he be getting up for work, or was this the weekend? What was going on?
As he lay there slowly coming back to a conscious state he began to be aware of another presence in his bed...
No! There were two others in bed with him!
He sat up like a shot and looked around. On either side of him lay Marc and Paul. He could feel Paul's leg laying across his midriff and he knew immediately that they were all naked. Steve broke into a cold sweat as the fog in his mind began to blow away. He let out a shout and tried to get out of the bed.
Paul and Marc woke with a start as Steve shouted. They looked in horror as they saw first their young friend bolt naked out of bed ... and then saw that they two were in the same bed and naked as well.
Marc grabbed a sheet and covered himself and tried also to get out of bed.
"Holy FUCK!! " shouted Paul
Steve looked at first one then the other. "So it wasn't just a bad dream" he said slowly. As he said that he noticed a large bulky envelope on the night stand beside his bed. He went over, picked it up and opened it.
Inside a sheet of paper with some writing on it, three smaller envelopes and three videos, one labelled for each of them.
He read the letter out loud.
Hi guys; We hope you enjoyed your weekend with us, I know we did. We thought you would like some souvenirs of your stay so we have included some pictures and videos we took of the weekend.
Enjoy and don't be strangers.
PS we have copies of all, should there be anymore trouble with our friends, perhaps your families and employers will be interested in what you like to do in your spare time. Let's hope there is no more unpleasantness.
At the bottom of the letter was a list of names and addresses and phone numbers of members of their respective families, of some friends and of their employers. These people meant business.
The three men stood there in total silence for several seconds after Steve finished reading. Then Steve took out the smaller envelopes and handed them out according to the names on them to his friends. They slowly opened the envelopes and pulled out several prints showing them in various stages of sexual activity with other men and with each other. The pictures had been taken in such away that one would have to believe that they were there of their own will and were obviously enjoying themselves.
"Oh fuck" muttered one of them as they flipped through the photos.
Steve took out the videos and handed them to his friends. Paul and Marc said nothing, they just took them. They were all too stunned to talk.
Steve left the room and walked into the living room. He turned on the television and popped the video into the VCR and just stood there staring at the screen as the images and sounds of the weekend filled the room. They had taped everything.
Paul and Marc came out of the bedroom and also just stood and stared as images of them being raped and fucked and sucked flashed across the screen. They watched as Paul sucked Steve off, they saw Steve's reaction and Paul's.
They watched as Marc fucked Paul and then as he sucked Paul off. It was all there, and all that was videoed was also done in such a way that no one would ever question that they were there of their own will, doing of their own will.
"Oh fuck " said Steve finally "This is bad" he sat down heavily onto the chesterfield and covered his face with his hands and started to sob.
"I never wanted this, I told you we had gone too far when we started beating guys up"
"Just shut the fuck up" snarled Paul "Just shut up"
"We gotta figure out a way to get them back" he continued "We're gonna find those bastards and kill every one of them. They're gonna be sorry they ever messed with me"
"WE?!?! WE?!?!" shouted Steve. "You're crazy and you can count me out man, we're in enough shit already because of your attitude toward queers, and now you want to continue the fight?"
Paul stepped toward Steve, but Steve clenching his fists rage writine all over his face didn't back away. Paul hesitated and Marcel stepped between them. "Steve is right man, we don't want anymore trouble, I'm outta here I don't care if I ever see either of you again, I'm finished here. You do something about this and our pictures will be all over the place, I don't need that. As I see it I'm fucked in this town, I don't need my family to find out about this"
Paul just stood there and then turned and went into the bedroom. Momentarily he came out dressed in the clothes he had left for work in on Friday morning. He looked at Steve and then at Marc still standing naked in the living room, "Fuck you both! fuck them all!" he snarled and with that he opened the apartment door and left.
Neither Marc nor Steve would ever see him or hear from him again. In calling his office a few days later Marc was told that he had turned in his resignation on the Monday morning after the 'weekend' , cleaned out his desk that same day and left with no forwarding address.
After Paul had left the apartment, Steve and Marc stood a few moments longer not speaking then Steve said he was going to take a shower, he suddenly felt like he desperately needed one. He felt filthy and wanted to wash if he could the whole experience from him.
He went to the bathroom and when he came out again Marc was gone.
Marc watched Steve disappear into the bathroom and went to the bedroom where he found his clothes. He got dressed and sat on the bed for a few minutes trying to collect his thoughts. Then he got up and went home.
A few days later after he realised that Paul had left he too handed in his resignation and left town. Heading for the East Coast.
Steve stayed put, he didn't go out for several weeks after the 'weekend' other than the basics , work, shopping, nothing else. He thought long and hard about leaving town but where would he go? What would he do? How would he explain it to his family. Unlike Paul and Marc, Steve had a close relationship with his family and they would not easily accept a sudden move.
He had been telling them how much he was liking the job and how there were great opportunities for advancement and how he had no intentions of moving in the near future.
There was something else that was bothering Steve a great deal as well. As he reviewed the video and looked at the pictures, a realisation started to come over him that some of the stuff he saw himself involved in he remembered really liking. It scared him. There was a section of the tape that showed him in bed with the man that had held him while Paul had sucked him off. There were several scenes with this same man throughout the weekend. He found himself getting very hard thinking how good it had felt being with that man. That man of all men that had taken him that weekend had been gentle and almost loving to him. He remembered, the man talking softly and gently in his ear as he had made love to him. He remembered responding to him. He was so confused... was he gay too? What if he was? Was that why he never had a real girl friend? What would his family and friends say?
He found over those days that he was jerking off as the video played. When he would come to one of the parts with him and that other guy it invariably would bring him over the top, giving him orgasms such as he had never experienced before during masturbation.
He also found an urge growing in him that was pushing him to find the man that he was jerking off to. But how would he find him? And what would he say to him if he did? And did he even really want to find him?
About two weeks after the 'weekend' Steve worked up the courage and logged on to the internet. With heart pounding he first typed the word 'gay' in the search engine. He spent the next couple hours searching through the thousands of pages and sites that that word caused to appear. He found himself extremely excited at many of the images that flashed across his screen.
After some time he obvioulsy was not finding anything that would help his search for the man in the video. He needed to focus the search closer to home. He tightened up his search by typing in the name of the city and the word gay together. This reduced the list enormously to 3 or 4 entries
One of the entries was for "The Rainbow Connection". It was the Web Page for the gay bar in town. Steve could feel his hands sweat up as he clicked on the connection to the site. On the Web Page he read about the bar, but he noticed a link to a chat room that the site said was a good room to visit. He linked to the chat room and with some hesitation and apprehension he logged in just using the nickname Steve22, he couldn't think of anything else. Once logged in he realised that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to use his own name but it was too late now he was there.
There were several people online and a few acknowledged his presence. Most of the chatting was obviously among men that knew each other.
In an other part of town, Michael was getting ready to go out to the bar, he had showered and dressed but it was still too early to go. He didn't often go on the internet but every now and then he liked to chat so this evening because he had about an hour to kill he decided to log on.
Over the last couple weeks since the 'weekend' he had wondered what had happened with Steve, the one of the three they had taken down, that he had been with.
It didn't take long for the news to get out that Paul and Marc had left town. There was a collective sigh of relief in the gay community. But Steve the third man... a kid really, hadn't left . but no one had seen him around either other than to see him going to and from work, always walking with his head down.
Michael wanted to see him again, and had even waited outside the boy's house one day and followed him to work, keeping himself a safe distance. The man was obviously in some turmoil.
Steve had clearly responded to him at the weekend, whether voluntarily or out of exhaustion or whatever there was a response and truth be told Michael had responded to Steve.
After they had drugged the three and brought them back to Steve's home Michael had stood and watched Steve sleep for a long time before kissing him gently on the cheek and then slipping out of the house.
But how to get in touch with him, what could he do? He couldn't just walk up to Steve and introduce himself, that would be inviting trouble no doubt. But the more he thought about it the more he wanted to be with the young man again, but this time in a mutually agreeable relationship.
Michael had had only one relationship before that had lasted three years. Then last year his lover was transferred and it was over. Pete hadn't even wanted to talk about whether he would take the job or if Michael would consider coming with him. He just came home one night and told Michael he as moving out of town. They had argued and Michael had been deeply hurt. Obvioulsy the relationship had meant more to him than to Pete.
For a while after Pete had moved away he hadn't gone out at all. Finally some of his friends would come and take him out forcing him back into the "community" again. In retorspect he was happy for his friends and their concern for him. But it was a long time before he was ready to commit himself to anyone again. In the last three or four months he had had a couple one night stands and been out with some of his single friends. While the sex had been good and his friends were dear, he knew that there was nothing there other than a quick "roll in the hay"
But when he had been given charge of Steve on the "weekend", something happened, that struck a chord in him. When the man sobbed out his regret, Michael had wanted to take him away, and comfort him. On the last day when he had taken Steve in to the bedroom with him and made love to him, even though there were other men watching, he remembered becoming totally oblivious to them and becoming as it were one with this man. Not only that he remembered feeling that Steve was responding to him in kind. Now he needed to know if it had been real. He needed to talk to Steve, but he didn't know how. He tried to talk to Joe about it but Joe had told him to forget about Steve and move on. After all how could you build a relationship on a foundation of violence and rape? It didn't make sense.
Michael knew that Joe was right but he couldn't stop thinking about this young man that had so bewitched him.
Michael logged on and perused the list of attendees. He answered the "hi's " with a quick "hi all" and then sat back to watch the conversations that were going on. He was on about five minutes when a new entry appeared. "Please say hi to Steve22" flashed across the message window.
Michael started... maybe? He hadn't seen this handle here before. He typed in a greeting to Steve22 and waited. Some of the others also welcomed this Steve to the room. There was hesitation... probably a minute before "hi" appeared from Steve22.
Steve was on for a couple minutes, just watching the conversations. He had answered all the initial "hi Steve's" with one message "Hi all" Then he had not made any to the comment. Then a message came on screen directed at him from someone called 'Mike'
"Where you from Steve?"
Steve thought about lying but answered truthfully anyway
"What you up to tonight?"
He paused before answering wondering whether he should leave now or not... did he really want to be chatting with some guy or just watch what was going on?
"Just checking this place out" he reponded
"wanna pvt?" typed Mike
"pvt?" What did that mean?
"must be new to the chatroom scene" thought Michael
"would you like to talk in private?"
Steve froze and the took a deep breathe and typed "ok"
A new window appeared before him labelled Mike (Michael's nick online)
"so you new to this chatroom?" Mike started
"Yeah never been here before"
"you gay?" This was not that usual a question for this room, actually it was somwhat of a 'well duh' kinda question but Michael felt he had to ask.
There was no answer, Michael waited a couple minutes and then noticed that Steve had disappeared from the room list. "may have gotten booted" thought Michael. "That happens often ... but maybe"
The thought that this might be 'Steve' excited him, he must have him, must meet with him, but how?
Steve sat there staring at the screen, cold sweat running down his back, when the question came up "Are you gay?" He quickly shut the site down, his fingers suddenly slippery with sweat. He was actually shaking.
He stared at the screen for a long time, millions of questions and images and questions about those images flashing across his mind. The events of "the weekend" were as fresh now as when they happened.
It had been a horrible experience, that was giving him nightmares. There were other things though that were so beautiful. The one man had been so gentle with him. When he had fucked him Steve remembered an intense erotic flow through his body as the man slid his penis into him, whispering him his ear, calming him, caressing his chest and belly. Steve had never felt such a sense of well being in the midst of this gang rape that was happening to him. Then on the last day Steve was sure it was the same guy, he remembered being taken to another room after he had sucked off Paul. He remembered being laid on a bed and this man had made love to him. He remembered feeling as if he was floating on air as the man kissed and embraced and stroked and fondled him, always half whispering his love to Steve. Telling him how he loved Steve's body and wanted to make love to him. While he had known that there were others in the room at the time, it was as if they weren't there, they were shadows on the edge of his existence. This man was the only person that he remembered actually being there. He remembered feeling so good and so at peace as the man had once again fucked him so gently, so lovingly, so erotically.
It was the memory of this that scared the shit out of him. Was he gay?!?! His mind shouted NO!!!! His body... was not so sure.
Steve came to from what seemed to be a trance. He was drenched in sweat. He got up and took a quick shower and about ten minutes later sat at the computer again. The welcome screen to the site was still up.
He had to find out! He typed almost as if he had no time to lose. He hoped against hope that this "Mike" was still on line. He found the room, scanned the list and saw Mike's name there. He logged on
Michael chatted for a bit, hoping that Steve would return. It was still early, a little too early yet to go to "Joe's bar". No one called it the Rainbow Connection. Everyone called it Joe's Bar. Since the "weekend" business was booming. But Michael never liked going before about 10 PM anyway.
It was just about 9:30, he would wait and chat for a few more minutes and then head out to the bar.
Just as he was thinking that, a message flashed across the window "Please welcome Steve22"
Michael's heart skipped a beat. He could feel his cock stirring. He double clicked on Steve's handle and started a private session with him right away.
Steve froze as a message window with Mike's name at the top appeared above the general message window appeared.
"hi welcome back, Thought I had lost you there" appeared in the window.
What should he say? Steve's mind raced
"I had to leave for a few minutes" he typed
They chatted inanely for several minutes, weather, sports , likes, dislikes, nothing scary, nothing of importance. Michael was hoping he was building some confidence in this Steve guy. He was also trying to get information that would tell him if this was 'his' Steve or not.
In a "through the backwoods kinda route" he finally with unconnected bits of information he found out where Steve worked and what he did for work. It was him!!
Steve was enjoying the chat, so far it was nothing threatening, the question that had terrified him hadn't come up again, it was just a chat. They hadn't even talked about this mike even being gay.
Finally Michael typed:
"I usually go to the bar about this time Steve, you want to meet for a beer or something?... no strings attached, I'd just like to meet you in person, you sound like a nice guy"
Steve's heart began to pound again, what should he do? He just sat there staring at the screen. He wanted to meet this guy but he was terrified to.
"You still there?"
"Yeah... sorry... just thinking... kinda scared" he typed, and as soon as he sent the message he regretted it... he should have just logged off
Michael wanted to take this boy in to his arms and tell him it was ok. He typed.
"Your new to the gay scene right?"
There was a pause again, this time Michael just waited ... keeping his eye on the room list, Steve didn't leave
"Yeah, and I'm afraid" came the answer
Steve was almost in tears as he typed those words.
"That's ok bud, I was there too once, but I won't hurt you, I just want to meet you, I won't make you do anything you don't want. Just one beer then we'll go our separate ways.
Steve thought about the offer, he was drenched again and shaking
"ok... where?"
Michael let out a sigh of relief...
"How about 'Sam's Sport Bar'"
"No, too many people know me there"
"well then how about Joe's Bar? Er ... "The Rainbow Connection" then you'll be with other gays, I'll protect you, "
Steve once again got a jolt of terror as he looked at the message. Then he thought "It's now or never"
After a pause of about 5 minutes... he typed "ok"
Then he added
"I'm really scared"
Michael responded
"you don't have to be guy, but I understand, you'll be ok with me. I'll tell you what, I'll wait for you outside on the corner of Main and Durham, and we can go in together. What will you be wearing so I'll know you?
"What will I be wearing???" Steve thought quickly ... trying to collect his thoughts
"I'll be in blue jeans and a brown and beige windbreaker, you?"
"Jeans and black T-shirt, half hour enough time?"
"yeah"
Both men logged off with their own urgencies.
Michael called the bar to tell Joe what was coming down. "Listen Joe" he said " I know you told me to forget him but I can't. I talked to him tonight online. , I sure it's Steve, and I asked him to meet me here. This boy is in a bad way. I think he was a follower, I think I like him and I want to meet him but this time as a friend. You think the guys can maybe just ignore him when we come in ... like treat him as one of them not as the enemy? I don't think he's an enemy, he's just really confused right now. Actually I think he's gay."
Joe listened and agreed smiling as he shook his head. Steve would get no trouble in his bar, as long as he didn't give any. He just hoped that Michael wasn't getting himself into something bad.
"I don't think he will Joe"
Michael hung up and hurriedly got cleaned up and dressed, almost forgetting what he had told Steve he was going to wear.
Steve meanwhile was regretting that he had agreed to meet with this Mike guy, and in the gay bar? Was he crazy? He knew that many of the patrons would know who he was, they would have been at the "weekend". What was he getting himself into?
He took another shower and got dressed. By the time he was ready to leave the house he was shaking all over his body, shivering violently. With great effort he fought for control as he set out for the bar, which was about eight blocks from his house.
The closer he got the more frightened he became. He came to the corner on Main just a block from where he was to meet Mike, he stopped and peered around the corner. Mike was standing there as promised waiting... looking around. A couple guys approached Mike and chatted for a few moments and then they moved on toward the bar and entered. Mike continued to wait.
Stave was sweating again and shaking. Waves of shivers rolled up and down his torso uncontrollably. He took a deep breath and stepped around the corner. He really wanted to run, but couldn't.
Michael looked up and saw Steve coming down the block. The boy looked a state of despair. As he came closer he could see that Steve was obviously thinking this was a bad idea. The boy was white as a sheet with terror written all over his face. But it was Steve and every bit the man he wanted to meet again.
Michael walked up to him and held out his hand. "Hi I'm Mike... Steve?"
"yeah" Steve responded shaking Mike's hand.
Steve's hand felt cold and clammy.
"You ok ?" asked Michael "Listen don't be afraid man, I won't let anyone hurt you"
Steve looked at Michael as if trying to recognise some feature. The voice, it was the voice he recognised! "You know who I am don't you?" he almost whispered in a hoarse voice.
Michael nodded. "I wanted to meet you again, you responded to me I thought and I wanted to meet you again, but this time because we both wanted it." Michael half smiled.
Steve only stood there looking miserable so he continued "you don't have to be scared, we'll take things slow, I just want to talk to you tonight, and have a beer with you. If you don't want to see me again after tonight that's ok, c'mon I'm getting cold and your shivering lets get inside where it's warm."
Michael put his hand on Steve's shoulder and steered him toward the bar. Steve resisted a little but allowed himself to move with Michael.
As they reached the door Steve held back, "I'm so scared man" tears were set in his eyes. "They all know me in there and what I did" He started to cry, he couldn't stop himself, the intense emotion and fear of the moment overwhelmed him. He felt so stupid. He felt Michael put his arms around him, and heard him speak softly and gently to him, reminiscent of how his father would talk when trying comfort him from some hurt. "You're with me Steve and I won't let anyone touch you OK? I'm not bringing you here to hurt you, we can still go somewhere else if you like"
Steve shook his head and tried to bring his sobs under control. "I...I ... I never wanted to be part of the bashing you know. I didn't ... I ... I couldn't get out of it, I felt so sick about it all" The tears began to flow again he tried to turn his face to cover his embarrassment and misery. Michael instead drew him close and just held him and let him cry and talk.
"C'mon let's go in, Joe'll have a booth we can sit in and talk. Let's get you a coffee to warm you up. I know you're not the Paul and Marc type. I couldn't figure how you got mixed up with them.
This time Steve didn't resist as they entered the bar. Michael gave him time to wipe his eyes and make himself presentable. He then took Steve's hand and led him in. Steve didn't pull his hand away. All around him were men holding each other, talking together some at the bar some standing around the room and others in various booths along the walls of the room. At the far end several couples were dancing to a rather noisy tune.
Michael pulled him to the bar, and put his arm around his waist, Steve again didn't pull away. He was very aware however at the eyes staring at him and the whispering he half heard. Things like; "he's one of them"; "Bastard" and "what's he doing here?" He hung his head. He wanted to scream out how sorry he was, he wanted to run, but Michael held him tight. Michael for his part if he heard the comments ignored them and kept his arm around Steve's waist. He introduced Steve to Joe, and ordered a large hot coffee for each of them.
Joe looked around, he had already told at least part of the crowd to leave Michael and Steve alone. He passed a couple dirty looks at a few of the guys to let them know that he was not going to have any trouble in his bar.
When Michael introduced Steve to him, he greeted the boy warmly. "So you're Steve are you? Mike won't stop talking about you, I'm glad to finally meet you"
Steve mumbled something incoherent that was interpreted as a thank you.
Some more tears trickled down his cheek. "You ok?" asked Mike pulling him closer in a one armed hug.
"They want to kill me and I don't blame them ... I shouldn't be here" Steve replied looking around at the staring faces. Some of the faces clearly showed hatred, others disdain. At least two people called from the crowd asking Michael what the hell he could be thinking of.
Joe jumped up on the bar, he was clearly upset. "Everyone is welcome to my bar and anyone who doesn't like it is free to leave, do I make myself clear?"
Steve wanted to be the first to leave but Michael wouldn't let him
"c'mon I think there's a booth open" he took Steve's hand again and led him through the crowd, that parted as they came through.
As they sat down Steve apologised. "I'm so fuckin embarrassed " he said "I never cry or anything like that, I don't know what's the matter with me."
"Don't worry about it man, this must be a nerve racking experience for you, you're just a bundle of nerves"
the crowd seemd to go back to what they were doing before they arrived and Steve seemed to calm down
They sat for a few moments drinking their coffees.
A couple minutes later Joe came by and sat down beside Steve. "I'm sorry about that."
"I don't blame them" said Steve softly "I deserve everything they throw at me, I shouldn't have come"
"You're here as my guest" bristled Michael "if you're not welcome then I'm not either"
"You're both welcome any time" Joe got up, gave Steve a squeeze on the shoulder and went back to the bar.
They sat quietly for several more minutes... Joe sent another coffee over for each of them. They both just sat there deep in thought looking about the room and every now and then glancing over at each other.
After a while Michael reached across the table and put his hand on Steve's'.
Steve started a bit but didn't remove his hand. "What're you feeling Steve?" Michael asked "You must be thinking something to be logging into gay chat rooms and agreeing to come in here"
Steve looked around the room at the people there. "I don't know what I'm thinking, something happened to me that weekend " He half laughed at Michael's looked which said "Something happened alright"
"No that's not what I mean" Steve smiled and continued "One of the guys when he ... uh ... did me... was so gentle, I think I actually liked it, and that scared me but it also made me want to find out why I liked it. ... Am I gay?" He paused, Michael decided not of say anything he just sat and listened as the young man talked.
"Actually I would like to find that man again" he said softly. Steve looked into Michael's eyes, "his voice was just like yours."
They both just sat there staring at each other, the music and the chatter and bustle of the place seemed to disappear into a background echo.
Michael curled his hand around Steve's' " I was that man Steve, and I wanted to meet you again too"
Steve started to shake again, he took a deep breath, "I think I'd like to go somewhere... can we go somewhere...I... I....?" His voice trailed off. He didn't know what else to say, his mind was in such turmoil
"are you sure?" asked Michael
Steve squeezed his hand, "I..I don't know ... I think I am... I don't know what I want." He looked at Michael in total confusion.
Michael looked at Steve and now holding on to Steve with both his hands, "Steve I can't tell you how much I want to be with you, but I want you to want it too, as much as I don't want to lose you, don't do anything that you are not sure you want."
"I just have to get out of here" cried Steve "Its too noisy" He got up. Michael followed suit
Steve practically ran out of the bar. By the time he got outside he was again having a rather violent shaking/shivering attack and tears were once again streaming from his eyes.
Several of the patrons watched as Steve ran out of the bar through the crowd. He was obviously in incredible turmoil. "Good riddance " laughed Greg to Joe.
"Don't know what Michael is doing with that little bastard" he continued "Hope he doesn't get himself hurt"
"I don't think he will" said Joe and then added "You know we all agreed that the weekend would be the punishment. This kid was punished, if he wants to come here then let him, I'll not let anyone make him unwelcome"
"As far as I'm concerned he shouldn't be here Joe" said Greg and a couple others muttered agreement.
Then a voice from the far end of the bar spoke up. It was an older man .. it was the first victim. "as joe said we agreed that the "weekend" would be the punishment. I've seen the tapes and those guys got punished enough. I agreed to it and so should you. Besides that kid is a dream, I don't mind if he comes in here at all... I'm thinking of inviting Mike and him to dinner then I can drool over him for an entire evening" they all laughed at that and at least grudgingly agreed to let Steve be.
Michael caught up to Steve as he walked away from the bar down the street. "You ok?"
"Ohhn Mike I'm so confused, my mind is screaming at me to run away from you and this as fast as I can, and at the same time it's telling me to go to you. I don't know what's happening to me, since that weekend I've looked for you, you have spoken to me in my dreams, You have invaded my waking hours. At the same time I can't believe that I might be gay. It goes against everything I am and have known in my life" shaking still he gave a long ragged sigh
"I know I should run from you and never see you again, but I want to be with you, I want to find out what this is all about, and I want to find out with you... but Mike I'm so scared, so very scared"
Michael put a hand on Steve's shoulder, "I know you're scared, come , we'll go to my place, we'll go real slow, as slow as you want man, I don't want to lose you, I won't hurt you, I promise. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do."
Michael led a shaking Steve to his car and they drove to his apartment building a few blocks away. Steve sat in the car deep in thought saying nothing. "What on earth am I doing ?" was the question running over and over through his mind. He snuck a peek at the man at the steering wheel beside him, he was certainly good looking, but even as he thought that his mind accused him of being gay, being attracted to a man. What vile creature he was. What would his parents think? What about his family and friends back home? At the same time the thought of being with Mike made him hard with excitement. What a fuckin mess this was. No he was going to go through with this, he had to find out. He would have to deal with the rest after this.
Michael drove in silence, Steve obviously was dealing with a great deal. His face was an image of a man trying to work through all the issues of life at the same time. He wanted to reach over and touch the boy and tell him it would all be alright, but he chose to let him sit in silence.
They parked in the underground parking and walked in silence to the elevator. Once in the elevator Michael pushed the 6th floor button and apart from asking Steve is he was ok he said nothing. Steve at least had stopped shaking, he was still obviously in turmoil but was considerably calmer than he was out on the street.
The exited the elevator and still in silence walked down the hall untouching to the apartment. Michael let Steve in and closed the door behind them, locking and latching it. He told Steve where he could hang his jacket and led him into the living room.
Steve looked around surveying the room, went to the window looked out and turned to Michael. "It's nice" he said softly. Then he walked toward Michael and stopped a couple feet away saying softly: "Mike I don't know what to do... what happens now?"
Michael came to Steve and putting a hand on the back of Steve's neck kissed him, gently at first and then as he felt Steve relaxing into his embrace brought his other arm around the man and pulled him close.
Steve melted into Michael's embrace with the first touch of his lips. He allowed himself to be pulled into the other man's body. Tentatively at first he brought his own arms around Michael. He felt Michael's tongue probing at his lips and opened to allow it in. Their tongues were soon playing together, as their hands started to explore each other's bodies. Steve was groaning through the kiss at the intense pleasure of the moment.
Michael broke off the kiss and led Steve into his bedroom. Steve started to fumble at his shirt, but Michael stopped him. "May I do this? " he asked. They kissed again and Michael started to undress Steve who was apparently both resigned to what was about to happen and delighting in it.
As Steve's shirt was removed, Michael moved his kisses to the young man's chest, spending time with each nipple sucking and nibbling at each one. Steve held Michael's head as he did so throwing his own head back and moaning how good it felt. He couldn't believe what pleasure was coursing through his body. He couldn't believe that he was enjoying having this man doing this to him in the intensity that he was enjoying it. He only knew that he never wanted it to end.
Michael continued to explore every inch of Steve's chest and torso, worrying the navel with the tip of his tongue, then moving back up to the chest and nipples. The feel of Steve's hands on his head, fingers writhing through his hair encouraged him on. Steve's moans of pleasure only heightened his own sexual passion for this beautiful man.
Michael stopped long enough to remove his own T-shirt. He pulled Steve to him who had stood silently waiting with his eyes closed. They kissed long and deep. They're hands caressed each other, each revelling in the feel of the other man's body. Michael reached down and released Steve's belt on his jeans, then the button and slowly the zipper, brushing lightly with his hand across the bulge where Steve's aching rod was straining to come out. Steve shuddered at the touch. He kissed Michael lightly on the cheek and responded by removing Michael's jeans in the same manner.
Standing now only in their briefs they continued kissing and caressing but at a more fevered pace. Steve was the first to slip his fingers, then hands under the band of Michael's underwear squeezing and exploring his ass and beginning to slid the briefs down. Michael groaned allowing them to be removed.
He knelt down, and kissing Steve's swollen member through the fabric he slowly lowered the young mans' briefs to the floor. As Steve's cock sprang out at him he took it into his mouth, savouring the exquisite texture and taste of the precum that was flowing quite freely.
Steve felt his knees begin to buckle as Michael's mouth enveloped his cock, and had to take a step back to steady himself.
Michael took a long lingering suck on the beautiful piece of man flesh in his mouth, released it and stood up. Walking over to the bed he pulled back the covers and invited Steve to lie down.
Steve no longer had any doubts about what was happening to him, What he was feeling right now was so intense, so incredibly breathtakingly marvellous, he wanted it never to end.
His fear was now his attraction and attachment to this man that was making love to him. What if to Michael this was just a one night stand or just a good evening out. He hoped it was so much more than that. The way he felt right now he wanted to stay with this man forever.
Michael of course was oblivious to what was going on in Steve's mind, he had intended to very slowly lead him along. He was afraid of scaring him off at first, but it became clearer as the evening progressed that Steve was becoming more and more receptive to his advances, so much so that Steve was taking the initiative.
Now as Steve lay in his bed , naked before him clearly open to whatever he wanted Michael suddenly felt a little unsure of himself. This man, this gorgeous man, his rod standing out for him was his to do with as he wanted. The way he lay there stretched out, his arms raised above his head, his eyes closed, a hint of a smile of satisfaction traced on his mouth... it was a picture of total uninhibited trust that he would as promised not do anything to hurt him. As a little child trusts a loving parent.
The look of the trust on Steve's face caused tears to start in Michael's eyes, he gently put a hand on Steve's chest and started to caress him as he lay down beside the young man. He then pulled the covers over them and pulled Steve to him in a full hug, holding him tight. He wanted this man so bad, but he was afraid of scaring him off with his intensity.
Steve felt Michael get into bed beside him. He felt the covers being pulled over them, cool at first but them warming to their bodies. When Michael reached to him and pulled him into a close hug, Steve thought he had gone to heaven. He felt so secure so comforted, such a feeling of absolute total contentment whelmed over him. His fears and insecurities for the first time in his life seems to fall off his shoulders. He rolled into Michael's embrace, his lips finding Michael's
As he did so without thinking he released a heavy sigh, and with that sigh whispered "I love you so much" He immediately realised what he had said and could feel his face burning with embarrassment.
Michael heard the whisper and with the joy that those words created, pressed his lips to Steve's. Their tongues soon met, they're bodies entwined in love.
"Mike" whispered Steve "Will you make love to me? I want you to fuck me, I want to feel you inside me, I want to feel your cum filling my ass with it's heat"
"Do you really want me to do this Steve?" asked Michael "I want to so much but I want you to want it ."
"There is nothing I want more from you right now"
"Then you are not afraid anymore?"
"Afraid?" Steve answered "I have never felt so unafraid as I am feeling here with you right now, I'm only afraid of losing you, that I'm feeling for you something that you aren't feeling for me. My fear is that tonight I'll go home and you won't want me anymore.
"Going home tonight? Ohnnnn Steve I think I'm falling for you too, I've wanted to be with you again since the weekend, and I want you now. I was afraid that if I moved too fast you would get scared and run off and I would lose you I don't ever want to lose you again."
They kissed and then Michael had Steve lay back again as he started exploring the beautiful body of his new lover. He worked his way down his chest and torso, to Steve's pulsing manhood. He licked the precum that was liberally oozing out and took the head into his mouth sucking gently as he massaged it with his tongue, revelling in the delicious taste of the precum.
Steve reached down with his hands and held Michael's head. "Ohhnn Fuck Mike this feels so gooooood. You are making me feel so good."
Michael slowly slid his mouth along down Steve's cock until he felt it hit the back of his throat, causing him to gag slightly. It felt so good to have this man's cock in his mouth. The delicate odour of the Steve's body around his ball sac and cock filled his senses as he started slowly moving up and down on his manhood.
It didn't take long before Steve was moaning that he was going to cum. While Michael would normally have backed off at this point , he didn't this time, this first time he wanted to fill his belly with the man's virgin cum, virgin in his new found love. Steve let out a loud groan of ecstasy as Michael felt the first of several strings of cum hit the back of his throat.
Steve couldn't believe the of passion that welled up inside him as the orgasm. Never had he felt anything like it.. He moaned out his extreme pleasure as his cock started to pump out his liquid love into Michael's hot mouth. "OOOOHHHnnnnn FUCK MIKE! THIS IS SO GOOD!!!!" tears streamed down his face as he wept with the joy that overwhelmed him.
Michael struggled to keep up swallowing the load that he was given, not willing to lose a drop. He sucked hard on the throbbing member of the man writhing beneath him. It was difficult for him to keep from releasing himself. He was so filled with the passion of the moment.
Steve collapsed back releasing a huge sigh "Ohhn fuck... I didn't know it could be so good"
Michael raised himself and came up and they kissed long and deep... Steve tasting his own cum on Michael's tongue, there was something erotic about that.
"And now my sweet lover" said Michael softly "I would really like to make love to you as you asked"
Steve nodded and began to roll over... Michael stopped him "No I want to look in your eyes as I do this, I want to love your face as my love fills your bowels.
Michael positioned himself between Steve's legs and brought them up, draping them over his shoulders as he edged his foreword. His cock was now extremely hard with anticipation and desire for his young lover.
He had earlier removed a condom from the drawer of his night stand and now gave it to Steve to apply to his rod. "Don't worry Steve, I'm clean and I know you are, but with this I just like to have safe sex." He said softly seeing the look of concern that flitted across Steve's face.
It felt so good feeling Steve roll the condom on his penis. While that was happening he was applying a generous amount of KY to Steve's ass working it into the opening.
Steve could feel himself getting hard again as Michael prepared him for entry. He was a bit worried about the pain remembering the 'Weekend', but right now he wanted Michael inside him so bad he was willing to take the pain. The touch of Michael's fingers applying the KY to his ass relaxed him and excited him. Putting the condom on Michael excited him even more, he was ready for this he wanted that cock in his ass , he wanted Michael to fuck him to make love to him.
He looked up into Michael's eyes. "Love me Mike " he sighed "Love me"
Michael smeared the remaining KY on his hands onto the condom encased cock that was now super sensitive with his excitement. "OK man just relax, we'll do this slowly" He move forward his cock right at the opening, he pushed slightly at first and then a little harder. Steve groaned as the pressure increased, but he tried to relax and allow Michael in.
"You ok man?" Michael asked as he pushed harder his cockhead now slowly entering Steve's ass.
"It hurts like hell man, but keep going, I want you there" Steve groaned . He now remembered how much it hurt. He gave a little push foreword. At the same time Michael also pushed and felt his cockhead enter all the way.
He paused to allow Steve to grow accustomed to the intrusion.
"Push it right in Mike, Push it right in" He jerked a little to encourage Michael, who then with a shove entered completely into the hot ass. He could feel his cock being heated by Steve's bowel. It felt so good inside this man. Even at the weekend he remembered the pleasure of fucking him, and now he was inside him by this same man's request. He almost came right there and then.
Michael started to slowly fuck ass, gently moving in and out savouring the erotic pleasure that it brought. Steve was moaning, both out of pain that was dissipating and the intense gratification that was replacing the pain. He lay back, his hands reaching up and caressing Michael's arms and face as he watched himself being fucked.
It incited such incredibly sensual feeling in his body to watch another man's body moving up and down on his, feeling that man's cock sliding in and out of his own body. He could feel another orgasm building in his own loins.
Steve rocked gently back and forth to the rhythm of Michael's fucking action. The pain was gone now and it was the joy of being this man's love object that overwhelmed him. It felt like he was floating as he watched Mike. He felt himself building to another major orgasm which caught him as he felt and saw Michael himself explode his hot cum inside him. He felt Mike's cock spasm violently as it spewed it's fluids in his ass. In the intensity of the moment, his own orgasm and Mike's, Steve felt almost other worldly, like he was above the whole scene watching.
Michael couldn't believe how good he felt tonight as he fucked Steve. When Steve moaned out another orgasm and he saw and felt the hot cum flying out on him and Steve he couldn't hold back himself anymore. He groaned loudly as he felt himself released inside this beautiful man.
Moments later they lay there Michael collapsed on top of Steve, sliding on the cum that was lubricating between them, and Steve with his arms and legs wrapped around Michael. They lay that way for several minutes enjoying each other's body in contact, kissing deep they're tongues dancing a love dance together.
Finally Michael suggested they take a quick shower and get to bed. It was well after two in the morning.
After the shower, Steve started to dress. "Where are you going??" Demanded Michael.
"Well I have to go home now... I thought it was done... uh... I have to get to work in the morning... Steve paused .. he didn't know what to say.. this was where his fears once again started to rise.
"I'll get you up in time to get to your house to change in the morning. You're staying here tonight with me . Said Michael firmly in a voice that said he wasn't taking no for an answer.
He walked over to Steve , who was standing there not quite knowing what to do next. Michael gently touched him on the cheek and softly said, "I want you to stay... with me"
He took Steve in his arms and they hugged.
"I... uh.. I don't want to intrude ... I ... I
Michael put a finger on Steve's lips to silence him and led him to the bed. They both climbed in and with a hug, and Steve nestling into Michael's shoulder, they quickly fell asleep.
Steve woke with a start with the alarm and sat bolt up. His mind was trying to figure out where he was. He looked around him. It was a strange room, and ... OH FUCK... there was another man beside him!!! They were both naked!!! He scrambled out of the bed... then the cobwebs slowly started to drift out of his mind and he remembered where he was. He sat back down on the bed.
Michael woke up with the movement and looked over at Steve. "G'morning guy... time to get up?" He smiled at Steve totally unaware of the fright the other man had just gone through. He reached over and touched Steve affectionately on the back.
They separately went to the washroom and got dressed. Nothing was said until they were sitting at the kitchen table having a coffee. Steve was obviously deep in thought and in some turmoil of mind.
"you alright?" asked Michael, breaking the silence that hung over the room.
Steve finally made eye contact "Yeah... yeah... I'm sorry, so much to think about, I guess I'm .. " he paused looking for the words to say "I.. I don't know what I am..."
Michael got up and came over to Steve and put his hand on his shoulder. "That's ok man, I understand" he said softly
"Listen why don't we get together for dinner tonight and we can talk?"
Steve looked up at Mike "Ok" he said hesitatingly "Yeah I think I'd like that, I need to talk, my place?
"OK" said Michael "Your place.. 6?"
Steve had brightened up some, "Yeah 6 would be good ... give me a bit of time to tidy up some, I'll order in,,, you like Chinese?"
Michael took the chance to reach down and kiss his new friend on the cheek. Steve didn't pull away, actually he kind of leaned into Michael.
"We'd better get moving if you have to get home to change before work." Announced Michael looking at the clock on the stove.
After a quick hurried breakfast at which neither spoke at all Michael drove Steve to his house. He allowed Steve to give him directions although he could have driven the route blindfolded. He watch Steve run up the steps and allow himself in, before he drove off.
It was a difficult day for Steve, aside from trying to stay awake, he wondered and worried his day along about that evening. What was going to happen? What exactly happened to him last night. He remembered the feeling of Michael's massive cock in his ass. He remembered the intense love making that they had , at least he had enjoyed, with this man. So what was going on.
He no longer doubted his sexual orientation but what was going to happen to him now? Would Michael really want to see him again, or would that have supper together and that would be that?
A couple of his co-workers asked him a couple time if he was ok. "It's like you're in another world man" said Joe at one point.
He assured them that he was ok ... he just had some things on his mind.
At 4:30 that afternoon he was out of the office like a flash. He stopped by his favourite Chinese food place on his way home and ordered dinner of that evening, to make sure he had enough he ordered a dinner for four. He knew he would be eating chinese for the next week, but he didn't want Mike to go home complaining that there was no food in the house. He laughed to himself, it was funny some of the things you pick up from your parents. His mum often said things like that and company could never complain about going home hungry
He then practically ran the rest of the way home, took a quick shower and cleaned up the house, as best he could. Well he tidied up at least and washed up the dishes.
At 5:45 he was ready and waiting. He almost jumped out of his skin when the door bell rang at five to six. He almost ran to the door, only to be disappointed ... it was the food. He took the packages from the delivery boy, paid and tipped him, and brought the food into the kitchen.
He busied himself taking the food out while he waited for his guest to arrive.
Michael spent the day wondering as well where this was going to go. Ever since Pete had left last year, for a job that would take him across the country he had been a sort of lose wheel. He couldn't find anyone that he could say definitively "I want to spend time with you" His year was not without it's activity , there were many a one night or one weekend stands, but he was missing what he thought he had had with Pete. A real relationship.
Ever since the "Weekend" he could not stop thinking about this Steve. The way he had responded to him there. The realization that this man was not some skinhead but actually a very gentle man that had simply gotten caught up with the wrong crowd. He was taken by the beauty of the man, and now last night they had gotten together and there was something that he had not felt with anyone since Pete had left. There was a connection between them that he felt, or was he just imagining it.
Did Steve also feel it? What was he thinking ? Would he be interested in continuing the relationship and seeing if there was more?
As Michael drove up to the house, he was a bundle of nerves. He was about a half block away when he saw the delivery boy leave. He parked several houses down and sat for several minutes, his heart pounding.
What if Steve wasn't interested? Then what? How important could that be? There would be someone else to take Steve's place no worry at all. He had never had any trouble picking up anyone he wanted. Then why the fuck was he so worried about being rejected by this man? Why was this Steve so important? Why couldn't he get him out of his mind?
Michael got out of the car and walked to the house, and up the walk to the porch. His hands were wet with sweat. He wiped them on his pantleg and hesitating for several moments, his hand ready to knock and hovering, he knocked softly on the window of the door. He wondered if he had knocked loudly enough and was about to knock again when a rather pale Steve opened the door and let him in.
After the delivery boy had left Steve had busied himself setting the table and putting the food out, wondering is Mike would even show up. Every sound caused him to jump. When he finally heard the soft knock at the door he was shaking from head to foot. He had to take several deep breaths before he could bring himself to open the door.
Michael walked in, and they stood awkwardly staring at each other for several seconds niether knowing what to say.
"c'mon in" Steve finally said quite softely, breaking the silence. He led the way into the kitchen where the food had been laid out. "I didn't know what you liked so I got a dinner for four, it had lots of variety." He said suddenly embarrassed by the amount of food that was there before them.
Michael laughed a little nervously, "Uh I like most anything, there sure is a lot here"
They both laughed and sat down.
Not knowing what else to do they started filling their plates.
"How was your day?" asked Steve cursing himself for the stupid question. Michael who was embarrassed at not being able to bring himself to talk was grateful for the question. It seemed like the opening for him he needed.
"Steve..." he hesitated "Steve, I haven't been able to think of anything or anyone but you since this morning, we gotta talk man!"
"What? Steve sat straight up and stared at Mike.
"I don't know what's wrong with me but I need to know if there is anything between us. I haven't felt this way since my last lover left a year ago. I need to know if you feel this way too"
Steve stared for several moments. He couldn't believe his ears. What was Michael asking him? "What do you mean, you haven't felt this way?
Michael's heart sank, "Steve I think I feel something for you but I need to know if you feel the same for me "
"Mike... you know ... I haven't stopped thinking about you all day, but I was afraid that you wouldn't be interested in me... "
"Interested? Steve I would like to spend time with you, not just a one night stand, not just a quick fuck, I think I want to spend a long time with you. We had a kinda weird start with the weekend and all but I think last night did something to me and I would like to spend some serious time together"
Steve smiled, it was as if a million tons were lifted off his shoulders "Ohhhnnnn fuck man I don't believe this" , he gave a deep ragged sigh. "I was so afraid you wouldn't want to see me again, I want to spend time with you too man.... A lot of time." He got up from his place and moved over to Mike. Leaning over, his lips met with Mikes and they kissed a long time.