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I hope you enjoy this story, which concerns the sexual awakening and development of Jody through his college years and early career in the Navy. To add realism to the story, much of the story is set in real cities, college campuses, Naval bases, and places of business. No implication that these places are accepting of homosexuality is implied. Should you visit any of them, please maintain normal caution and do not assume you will be accepted.
Thanks to those who have taken the time to send me feedback about the story. I've never received "fan mail" before, so this is very exciting! Just so you know, this story has 16 chapters, so please keep reading and feel free to send me your feedback or comments.
This story is the backstory of a character who will be included in a book to be published in the Fall, 2018, titled The Deputy Boys Book 1: Gary's Senior Year. Jody's story is entirely separate from this book, although he is a character in that book. Without further ado, enjoy Jody, the Team, and the Navy! Kenneth Kirk
Jody, the Team, and the Navy Chapter 6
I was quite pleased with my grades from the fall semester, which were A's in 14 credit hours and one lone B in Intro to Biology, a 4-credit course. My 3.61 GPA was good enough to put me on the dean's list and to get me into a top-flight graduate school someday. It was certainly good enough to keep me eligible to play a varsity sport such as baseball. It was also good enough to qualify me for a lot of scholarship opportunities.
I was very excited about the spring semester since I'd been informed I had made the baseball team! While I didn't receive a scholarship, I would be eligible for a full scholarship in my sophomore year, assuming my performance and grades were sufficient. I was determined they would be! I did receive a 10-hour per week job from the Athletic Department as an Assistant to Coach Jordan at a respectable salary of $5 per hour. The first time we met for sex after I was given the job, I told Coach that I now consider myself a prostitute since I knew how I'd be assisting him. He merely laughed and told me to lock the door and get on my knees. When I left an hour later with a fresh load of coach nectar in my stomach, Coach muttered, "Best five bucks ever spent!" I laughed as I closed his door.
I did, in fact, assist Coach Jordan in a few other ways than taking care of his sexual needs. In the baseball program, he was the coach responsible for keeping track of grades and player eligibility and he also made the arrangements for travel to away games, including scheduling the buses and making hotel and restaurant reservations. I started out keeping his files in these areas but, by the end of the season, I was the one making the reservations and assigning the roommates for our hotel stays. That was easy because it was almost always the same. Typically, we took 22 players, two equipment managers, and two coaches to each away game. Coaches had private rooms and the equipment managers shared a room. The players were assigned two to a room in duos that recognized the players' friendships, so they only varied when a player was out for some reason and a replacement went on the trip. Often, I was able to book a 2-bedroom suite and assigned Coach Jordan to one room and Len and I to the other one. This arrangement proved very useful for our after-the-game celebrations, better known among the players as either "sex parties" or "fuck sessions," depending on how crass the player wanted to be.
The first game of the season was played Feb. 19 at East Carolina in Greenville, South Carolina, and our final game of the regular season was played at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia, on May 22. Including those games, we played 27 home games and 28 away games. Since NC State is in Raleigh only 26 miles away and Duke University is in Durham about 10 miles away, we always returned to Chapel Hill when we played at their stadiums. In 1971, that reduced our overnight trips to 24 nights. I found I really enjoyed planning out these trips and making the necessary reservations in coordination with the university travel department.
The motivation plan Coach Jordan worked out was pretty cool, I thought. Players were awarded a gold star for every point they scored in any of our games. One player who did not score during a particular game was awarded a star as the non-scorer contributing the most to our performance, perhaps for catching a high fly to prevent an opponent's home run or for hitting that allowed for team members to score. A player completing a semester with an overall GPA in excess of 3.0 received 2 stars, so, for example, I started the season with 2 stars. Each month (January through June) the players selected three of their number as their favorites, ranked first, second, and third. The first-place player received 3 stars, the second place received 2, and the third place received 1. There were a variety of other ways to get a star. For example, if a pitcher pitched 3 innings without a score, he got a star. A player earning positive publicity for the team through an interview or appearance at a campus event received from 1 to 3 stars, as determined by the coaching staff. And my favorite: A player received half a star for giving a BJ and a full star each time he bottomed at an official celebration party. One fuck, one star; five fucks, five stars; etc.
Len and I together made a framed cork board that measured 2 feet by 4 feet, which we hung near the main door in the locker room. I used one-inch pieces of balsa wood to make name plates for all players to put on the cork board. These were rearranged every Monday to reflect the total number of stars earned during the season, with the top scorer at the top of the board. Beside each name plate I placed a 1-inch square of poster board with the player's total. One of my main tasks became the weekly updating of the board.
The guys had two reasons to work to obtain gold stars. First, a fierce competition quickly arose to see who would get the highest total during the season. Guys really worked hard to get a star or two. Second, the stars could be spent on various privileges or prizes without affecting the season total. Once spent, a star could not be re-spent, but it still counted in the total score. This second value of the star made it a type of bartering chip or a substitute for money. The coaches and some students approached some of our alumni and other benefactors with the suggestion they contribute prizes the players might enjoy. Thus, a pair of tickets to see a home game of the Washington Senators went for 6 stars. When the traveling Broadway show "West Side Story" came through Raleigh, I got 4 good seats for 12 stars. (Len, Micky, and Louis loved me!) Dinner with the homecoming queen went for 5 stars and dinner with one of her court was 3 stars. (I got the job of setting up the deal with the girls.)
Coach Jordan had an old pal who was the Executive Director of the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY, an hour west of Albany. This man, Malcolm Elliot, had played ball with Coach at SMU and was his roommate for a couple of years, too. Elliot put together a packet which included a pair of tickets for the Hall of Fame with two nights in a local Howard Johnson's for two. I think there were a couple of meals thrown in, too, but hosted by individuals so they weren't part of the deal. Anyhow, this package was to be given to the player who showed the greatest commitment to the team, as judged by the coaching staff. Coach announced that the winner of the raffle would be the player who purchased the most tickets at a price of one star per ticket. He reasoned that this combined commitment (the earning of stars) with the desire to go to the Hall of Fame. The trip to the Hall of Fame engendered a lot of discussion amongst the players and several expressed interest in it.
What affected me the most was the value of sex. A BJ could be had for 2 stars and a butt-fuck for 3 stars. Since I was the only regular bottom, I wasn't sure if I was complimented or insulted that my ass was valued the same as dinner with a losing homecoming queen candidate! Excuse me. I mean to say "a member of the Queen's court." There was one caveat to relinquishing a star in return for sex. The partner (cocksucker or bottom, otherwise known as "Jody") could accept or deny a request at any time. Also, the partner could schedule "star redemption" at his convenience. Coach included those two rules so I always had the right to refuse and could say "not now" if I was not in the mood or had already had all the sex I wanted. This rule soon became known as the "I've got a headache" rule.
During the season, most weeks included four to five games so there were five nights a week I was redeeming the team's stars and earning my own. Because I was keeping track of the motivation program statistics, I also collected my own personal statistics. In an average week, I gave 20 BJ's (redeeming 20 stars but earning only 10 for me) and got fucked 15 times (redeeming 45 stars and earning 15 for myself). I was also hitting better than ever and earned about 4-5 stars a week for that. By the second week, I established a significant lead in the race to be top scorer and was never seriously challenged throughout the season. Since I wasn't interested in spending stars on fucks, I spent very few. After stars were given out and redemption began in January, I was the winner of the team's vote for January, but soon the players realized I was going to have a commanding lead, so I never got any more stars that way. Several guys told me it was not anything against me, just a practical consideration, which I understood completely.
Around the middle of the season an interesting thing happened because of the motivation program. Billy Novak, our cute-but-shy catcher approached me one day in the dorm cafeteria.
"Can I talk to you privately?" he asked.
I looked at Len and Louis, who were sitting at the table with me.
"Sure, Billy," I said. "Why don't you join us while we finish up and then you and I can talk."
Awkwardly he sat down but said almost nothing as we finished our lunches. When we were done, Len took my tray to return it so Billy and I could chat. We went out the side door into the courtyard where it was a bit too cold to sit out to eat.
"What's up?" I asked him.
"I really want to bid on that trip to Cooperstown."
I knew he had a low point total. "That trip will take a lot of stars, you know."
He hung his head. "I know. But it's really important to me. My grandfather is honored there and no one in my family has had the opportunity to see it."
"Wow," I said, wondering why he was sharing this with me. "That's awesome, Billy."
"I've only got 4 stars so far."
"You know I can't give you any of my stars."
He looked quickly up at me, shaking his head vigorously. "Oh, no, Jody, I'm not asking that. I know that's against the rules."
"So, Billy, why are you telling me this?"
"You're going to obviously have the most stars to redeem."
"So," I thought. "You want to know if I am going to bid for it?"
"Yeah," he mumbled softly.
I'd briefly thought about how cool it would be to spend a couple of days in New York with Len, but didn't feel very drawn to the Hall of Fame. Since this meant so much to Billy, I knew I'd feel like a jerk if I took the trip away from him. "No, Billy, I'd much rather see you go than do it myself."
He grinned. "Thanks!" Quickly his grin faded and was replace by a countenance of either nervousness or terror. I wasn't sure which. "Is there something else?" I asked.
Silently, he nodded. I swear he shuffled his feet in embarrassment. "I can only think of one way to earn the stars to win the trip."
I made some quick calculations and reached the same conclusion he had. "Are you thinking of bottoming for the team?"
He flushed deeply even in the cold courtyard. "Uh-huh," he muttered in a tiny voice.
"Have you ever done anything like that before?"
"No, of course not."
"It's not very easy to do, Billy. And it's very powerful, uhm, emotionally, when you do that. You'll never think of yourself quite the same again. Maybe you should think this over."
"I have thought it over, Jody. It's all I've been thinking about for close to two weeks now."
"How will you feel about yourself after?"
"I'm not really sure. But I'm curious about it, too."
"You're curious about what it feels like?"
He nodded.
"Is there something about it you think you might like?"
He nodded. I waited for him to say something.
"I'm a complete doofus when it comes to girls, but I'm comfortable around guys."
"Okay. So, you are a virgin?"
He nodded.
"And you want your first time to be getting butt-fucked by one of your team members?"
He flushed a dark lavender color but nodded. For a minute I couldn't figure this out, but finally an idea came to me.
"Is there a particular player you'd like it to be?"
He nodded.
"May I ask who?"
He nodded. I waited, but he was silent.
"Well, who?"
"Uhm," he stalled. Finally, he whispered, "Zeke."
I smiled, but he didn't see me. "That's a very good choice," I said.
He looked up at me. "Really?" he said hopefully.
I nodded. "Why him?"
He grinned. "Zeke's so handsome! And he's so tall and kind of exotic-looking."
I grinned back at Billy. "And his uniform fits so tight!"
Billy blushed and nodded. "He's so sexy!"
"You know he's straight, right?"
"Oh, yes."
"So, there'll be no romance or relationship come out of it."
He nodded. "I just figure if I'm going to try it, I want to start with the best."
I chuckled and nodded. "He'll treat you good. But I don't want your first time to be at one of our parties. It should be in private with no one looking on."
"How ...?" Billy looked confused.
"How about if I talk to him? If he's `in', then we'll arrange for you to have privacy. If you don't like it, no one else needs to know. But, if you do like it, you can begin coming to the parties to earn those gold stars. Does that sound okay?"
"Yes," he said. "It sounds good."
"Okay. I'll talk to you soon."
"Thanks, Jody," he said as we went back into the warm cafeteria.
Zeke was surprised by Billy's confession, but open to helping him discover himself. Zeke said he'd never taken someone's cherry before and it was a rather exciting idea. Billy was relieved, happy and anxious all at once when I told him Zeke was "in." Len gave Zeke some pointers designed to make it easy and pleasant for Billy. I spent a couple of hours with Billy, explaining relaxation techniques and supervising his first douche. Oh, my! Zeke actually got them a room at a nice motel in Greensboro so they would have privacy. I made Billy promise to come to my room the second they got back to campus.
When I opened the door a few days later to see Billy's ear-to-ear smile, I knew the evening had gone well. The kid was ecstatic, speaking so fast he was almost unintelligible. Zeke had been kind and wonderful and had actually sucked on Billy for a while and had apparently given the kid a very pleasurable rim job before topping him gently and lovingly for a long time. Zeke had jacked Billy off while he fucked him so that Billy had an incredible orgasm, far beyond any he'd had previously. I cautioned him not to fall in love with Zeke. I nearly fell over when Billy answered, "I haven't, but I did fall in love with cock."
Billy proved that statement during the rest of the season as he threw himself into serving his team at the after-game parties, usually going home with 3 more stars. Billy always got a star for bottoming for Zeke and always had a big smile throughout their mating. By the end of the season, Billy had almost 70 stars and spent them so he could take himself and Zeke to the Baseball Hall of Fame in June, where they had a spectacular weekend culminating in an article in the Cooperstown newspaper about Billy's pilgrimage to honor his grandfather (thanks to an anonymous tip). Zeke and Billy became devoted friends and fucked frequently until they graduated, but I never heard anything about any broken heart.
After that, I always had a real soft spot for Billy. In fact, everybody grew to love and respect him much more than ever before. He was the second-place finisher in April and finished first in the June ballot. I was so proud of him. And, he recognized that he was in fact "gay," a term that was becoming more popular than "queer."
The spring of 1971 set the patterns that played out throughout my four wonderful years as a Tar Heel and, indeed, through my time in the Navy, too. In addition to the team celebrations (sex parties), I still took good care of Len's libido at other times and neither Micky nor Louis ever had any complaints either. Coach fucked me once a week at a celebration. I think he wanted to show the team that he was a natural top man, which he so was! He also fucked me late at night at his townhouse a couple of times a week. As much as I loved all the sex I was getting in locker rooms, hotel rooms, and Room 404, it was the private times with Coach that I loved the most. I thought maybe I'd fallen in love with him, but I didn't think about him any more than I thought about Len. I was exceedingly attracted to Coach, but I was equally attracted to both Len and Louis. Coach was the most masculine of men, but there was nothing but "man" in Len, Louis, Phil, or Coach McAllister. I loved when Coach would eat my ass. It was Heaven! But I loved when Blake or Zeke would chow down, too. Coach was definitely a power-top. I always knew I'd been fucked when he withdrew from my battered hole. But Len and Max sometimes fucked me just as hard. Coach did have the thickest cock of all of them and it was magnificently long, too. The extra girth didn't really make it more pleasurable, just a bit more effort to manage, if you get my drift.
It wasn't until mid-summer that I finally figured it out. What was different with Coach was the intensity. More than anything physical, it was that when I was with Coach I felt he was 100% with me. In conversations, he didn't get distracted. When he held me or caressed me, I felt a great relaxation, a peace, envelop me. When he fed me his massive cock, it was slowly, with concern for my endurance, almost delicately, like feeding a bottle to a baby. When he ate my ass, it was to make his penetration easier for me as well as because he liked to do it. Our fucks were occasionally slow and leisurely, but more often they were hot and passionate, powerful and pounding. Yet they never seemed selfish. We didn't make love, but, in addition to satisfying our monumental lust, we imbued our sex with mutual respect, concern, and excitement so it felt as beautiful as I thought making love would be. Although he never suggested or implied he loved me, I knew that his feelings were deep and believed we would call it love if we were opposite gender.
As the Assistant to the Coach, I worked through the month of June, ending with the 2-week baseball camp and the weekend tryouts. When the boys came into the dorm to register, I was one of the guys who welcomed them. Len and Blake spotted a gay guy among the hopefuls. His name was Jimmy Lancaster and he was a long and lanky outfielder (6'6", 8.5") who held eye contact way too long. Len scored with him even faster than he had with me, fucking him twice the first night! We thought we had a hot prospect, but, in the end, he went to Tennessee instead.
By the time I returned to Charlotte after the spring semester ended and baseball season (including tryouts) was over, I felt I needed a break from all the hard bodies and hard dicks. I needed time away from crowds of people regardless of all the fun I'd been having.
Even though most summer jobs were long-ago taken by the time I was available, Sears was willing to take me on for a two-month period. Bless them! Without the job to take my time and my brain space, I would have probably wound up raping the entire fire crew who answered a call at the house next door one warm summer evening. But I had a job and I let them do theirs and left them unmolested.
During my sophomore and junior years, I remained in Room 404 with Len, Micky, and Louis. Being a year older than me, they all graduated before my senior year. Losing them made my last year a bit lonely in some ways, but I moved off-campus to share with Hal. (Remember him? Phil and Blake's artistic brother?) By this time, Hal was an out gay man, though he still loved fucking my ass without reciprocation. We had a third in our apartment, too, a sophomore named Richard Trent, who could suck a dick like a Hoover! He was also a studly top when he was in the mood, so I had lots of cock visiting my innards around the apartment and made lots of trips to the athletic dorm to "be nice" to my teammates when we weren't having team celebrations in the locker room or a hotel. And I still maintained my schedule with the ever-exciting Coach Jordan. There was also a rare call to give a few thrills to Coach McAllister, who always thrilled my hole, too.
During my senior year, I thought a lot about what I would do next. I wanted to go to graduate school and hoped to go into a corporate finance department after that. But, there was the issue of military service standing between me and that vision of my future life. In 1969, with the War in Vietnam at its unpopular peak, the government established a lottery for drafting young men into all branches of the service, although most draftees went to the Army since the other branches got more volunteers. Depending on a fellow's birthday and the results of the lottery drawing, he had a lottery number (from 1 to 366 – those leap year boys were not exempt!). At the beginning of each year, local draft boards began calling up their residents with the number 1 and went up the numerical list until their quota for the year was fulfilled. In 1970, the first year of the draft, the highest number drafted was 195, so anyone with a number higher than that was free of the possibility of being drafted. I fell into the second lottery which set the draft numbers for men born in 1951. September 10, which was my birthday, was pulled as number 130. That number held for me even though I had a student deferment at the time. The year my deferment ended, I would face the draft during that year. Lots of college students with low draft numbers (one of our baseball players had a draft number of 2) volunteered for a service they felt would be best for them to keep from getting drafted into a less-desirable situation. My number was in the "maybe" zone and made me quite nervous.
Dad and I had several conversations about the possibility of military service. He thought I would do well as an officer in either the Navy or the Air Force and encouraged me to consider joining so I could go into officer training soon after graduation. He thought it wise to get the service obligation out of the way as soon as I could, so I could then go on about my life. If I liked the service, I would have the option of becoming a career officer like he'd been. During the Christmas break of my senior year, Dad and I talked quite a bit about the need for me to make a decision and, ultimately, I decided his advice was sound. So, before I returned to Chapel Hill for my final semester and baseball season, I went to the recruiting office and joined the Navy, with my induction deferred until after graduation. When that was done, I was relieved that my military service was set and anxious that I might regret the decision.
I graduated in the spring, 1974, with a BS in Finance and a minor in Economics. I walked across the stage carrying a 3.79 cumulative GPA and a feeling of pride in how well I'd done as an undergrad. I prayed I would be successful as a naval officer, too. After the usual extra weeks playing ball (and getting balled a lot!), I returned to Charlotte, where I had an internship with Piedmont Airlines until I would be reporting for duty.
It was a quiet few weeks and I spent them resting up from four very active years at UNC. Len had an apartment downtown, where he was working at the First National Bank of NC. I usually spent at least one night there every weekend and enjoyed reconnecting with my first cock. I knew his cock in my hole would always be special. Since graduation, Len had mostly returned to women as it seemed the available men were just not interesting to him. But, thankfully, he was still highly interested in me!
That summer of 1974 was a good summer for me, a sort of dash mark in the sentence of my life. I neither progressed nor regressed, but just rested and waited for the next surge forward I thought would happen in officer candidate school.
In September, a couple of weeks before I was to be inducted, Len and I took a long weekend in Myrtle Springs, South Carolina, to enjoy the beach and the pleasures of each other's bodies. With neither of us getting regular sex from anyone else since he'd broken up with some girl named Carrie a few weeks before, we spent more time getting off than we did hanging out at the beach. I think we both felt the sort of finality in our time together with our lives heading in vastly different directions. We did talk about it openly one time, while lying on the beach in mid-afternoon on Saturday.
Len pulled a couple of Heineken's out of our cooler, popped the tops, and handed me one. We turned on our towels to face each other, about 12 or 14 inches between our faces. "Hey, buddy, how do you feel about going into the service soon?"
I took a sip of the cold brew. "Nervous, I guess. I just hope I like it."
"I hear you there. You know, with a regular job, if you really don't like it, you can always quit. But being in the Navy isn't like that. Hell, they'll court martial you if you don't do what they tell you."
I chuckled. "I guess I'll learn to take orders, huh?"
"I'd say you're already pretty good at that."
"You think so?"
"Yes, I do. Ever since that weekend of tryouts four years ago, you've pretty much always done what I wanted you to do. I've always found that a little surprising, but also I think, thank God!"
"We worked out a rather unusual relationship right off the bat, didn't we?"
"Yeah." He took a swig. After a moment of silence, he asked, "Why did you submit to my demands so easily?"
"You made it clear you would withhold sex if I didn't."
He took another sip while he considered that. "I did; that's true. But you never called my bluff."
What? "Are you saying it was a bluff?" "Pretty much." "I can't believe it!"
"Think about it. I needed to cum three times a day and I was kind of addicted to BJ's and fucks instead of beating off. If you had said you'd give me a blow job once a week and no more, don't you think I'd have taken what I could get rather than get nothing?"
"Wow. I never thought of it that way." Could I have had the upper hand if I'd just tried?
He grinned. He tapped my arm with the bottom of his beer bottle, then put it to his lips. He drank. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me, you know. Damn! We have the hottest sex of my life."
"I'm glad to know that. I think I let you call the shots because I wanted so desperately to have sex with you. You know, I was mesmerized by your big ole groin the first time I say you on our high school diamond. I had to have you! Besides, you always told me to do what I wanted to do anyway. In four years you've never once made me do something I didn't want to do. So, I naturally trusted you and let you think you were the driver."
"I wanted you to have as much fun as I was having. The wonderful thing is that we both had a terrific time together because we were so perfectly matched. I'm as big a top as you are a bottom."
I laughed and tipped some beer into my mouth. He laughed, too.
Suddenly serious, Len asked quietly, "Jody, I'm worried about you. How are you going to handle being gay in the Navy?"
"Keep it quiet obviously."
"But how will you find cock, uh, companionship?"
"I don't know. Take vacations in far-away places where I can be open? Maybe I can just ignore it."
"Ignore your need?"
"Uh-huh."
"I don't see that happening. Your need for cock is too great to ignore all the time!"
I sipped my beer and realized that was true. "Oooh," I said, "I think you're right about that."
"I wonder how other gay naval officers handle it," he mused.
"I don't know. I've never met one. Are there gay naval officers?"
"There's got to be a few," Len reasoned.
"I wonder how I can tell who is."
"Just keep those dress whites tight and walk in front of any guy you suspect. Any guy who drools is a likely candidate, right?"
"I guess so." I snickered.
"Well, man, just be really careful. And when you get a leave, look me up. I'll probably be desperate for your asshole."
"Deal!" I cried. We drank our beers in silence for a couple of minutes.
"Jody?" Len said quietly.
"Yes, Len?"
"Can I ask a serious question?"
"You don't have to ask that. Of course, you can!"
"Back in the dorm, were you, uh, were you in love with me?"
"That's a tough question, Len."
"Do you know the answer?"
"I think so, but it's not a clear yes or no answer."
"Now you've got me intrigued. Please explain."
"Okay. Give me a second." I'd never really put all my feelings into words before, so I needed to think about it. I took a couple of sips while thinking. Len lay patiently in front of me as I contemplated my answer.
"Here goes!" I looked at his handsome face and smiled, feeling surprisingly comfortable about sharing these feelings. "When we met, I was completely inexperienced," I said. "I'd never had sex before and ... Oh, wait, I'd gotten a hand job from my young cousin Gary. But that was more for him to see how an ejaculation works than for pleasure."
"Still felt good, I bet," Len interrupted.
"Yeah!" I giggled. "I'd never done anything else with a guy and the only thing I'd done with girls was kissing and very minor touching or rubbing. However, I already had figured out I was gay. Well, I used the word `queer' back then. I knew I wasn't interested in girls beyond just simple friendship. So, when you told me to come back to your room that night if I wanted sex, oh, man, it turned me on like nothing ever had before. This was not just a chance to finally be with a guy, it was a chance to be with the most gorgeous guy I'd ever known, ever seen before. You were so incredibly good-looking and well-built and also extremely masculine. Damn! You were utterly irresistible! To be honest, I didn't know anything about love, I just knew I would always hate myself if I let that opportunity get by me. And then being with you was way better than I'd really ever dreamed it could be."
"No wonder you let me make the rules."
"Yeah. I wasn't mature enough to be capable of really being in love, but I was in complete lust. When I became your roommate and so much sex started happening, including butt-fucking, I became addicted to you, to sex with you. I loved being with you all the time and more and more became fixated on you. During that first year, I think I did develop the capacity to be in love and fell in love with you then. But, you made it clear that we would never be in a committed relationship, that our relationship was a close friendship that included our particular types of sex but nothing more. And more guys came into our intimacy – Micky and Louis, Blake and Phil, and Hal. Each one added a new dimension to my enjoyment of my sexuality and as I became more connected with each one of them, the less I actually needed you in order to be fulfilled. That was an important part of me not losing myself completely in romantic feelings for only you. Then, when Coach fucked me, oh, God! He was so hot! So masculine! So much in control! I just gave myself to him completely, no questions asked. I let him completely define our relationship and I fell in love with him, too."
"I thought you were in love with him," Len said quietly.
"It was so weird, Len. I was in love with you and also in love with Coach. Being in love with two different people is never particularly easy, I imagine, but it certainly confused me. My love for him kept me from being completely in love with you, I guess, and my love for you kept me from being completely in love with Coach. Looking back, I'm very grateful for that. If I had focused all my love on you, I'm afraid I would have put way too much pressure on you and we'd have ended things early on."
"That might have happened," he agreed.
"Of course, to a lesser degree, I also loved Louis, Blake, and Hal. And I had some romantic feelings associated with almost every guy on the team."
Len grinned. "I get it, Jody!"
"You do?"
"Yep. At first, I was worried that you would fall in love with me. Please don't be offended, but I didn't see how you could not fall in love with me. I see how people respond to me. I look in mirrors. I know I'm way better looking than most guys. I don't say this out of pride or arrogance, but honest sharing. I could see how much you were drawn to me and I understood that it was an irresistible pull. One reason I added the other guys was to sort of diffuse your emotions so they weren't all for me."
I reached across the short space between us and touched his arm. "You were very wise there. Thanks!"
"Maybe it was this much wisdom ..." He held his thumb and index finger about an inch apart. "And this much luck." He held his hands about a foot apart.
We both chuckled. "Whatever it was," I said, "it worked out very well. We had a fantastic three years and, in the year after you graduated, I missed you but at the same time I was in a good space and enjoyed the new men who came into my life. I'm pretty sure I'll always love you, but I'll always be able to love other guys, too."
"You may have figured this out, Jody, but I never told you. I loved you very much, too, with real romantic feelings also. But I knew that deep down I'm not gay. I could not commit myself to being your partner in life, no matter how much I loved you and how good the sex was. It just isn't me."
"Yes, Len, I did understand that. At first, that understanding nearly killed me, but then it began to save me over and over." I reached out for his forearm. "I hope you find an incredible woman soon. I want you to experience the love that you can commit to completely. I want you to have wonderful sex with her and make a few babies as gorgeous as you are!"
"Thank you, babe!" He leaned forward and gently kissed me on my lips. "That was love speaking!" He pulled back. "Can we go inside? I want to wash you and make love to you for a couple of hours."
"I'd love that!"
We drained our beers, collected our stuff, and walked the hundred yards to our hotel room. We showered, tenderly washing each other, and spent the next three hours making love. Len kissed me more that day than during the whole four years we'd been together. He ate my love-hole for a very long time, as if he couldn't bear to leave it. He lubed me very well and entered me with no pain at all. Having this very special cock, my very first, buried in my body moved me deeply. He thrusted in me slowly for nearly an hour, sliding all the way into me, filling me with his body, caressing me from deep inside even as he ran his hands across my buns and my back and nibbled my neck. Without any pounding power-fucks, I came. If was not a blasting cum-shower, but a sudden warm release that went on for a very long time, sending sensations of sexual satisfaction to my brain and creating a sizeable pool of cum in the sheets under my abs. I didn't scream out, but moaned continuously for most of the orgasm, ending simply by uttering the words I had never said, "Oh, Len, I love you!"
"I love you, too, Jody," he whispered as he continued to move inside me, having not given me his gift yet. For a long time he fucked me gently, his big cock never flagging, but rubbing smoothly across my sensitive prostate. He moaned between kisses on my neck and cheek. Silently I cried, a release of joy that was as powerful and satisfying as the release of sperm I'd had earlier. I knew I was going to miss Len's cock inside me, but even more I was going to miss our heart connection.
Finally, he shifted, moving his knees to straddle my butt without breaking his rhythm. The changed angle made his cock tap my prostate more firmly on each in-stroke. He began to speed up his thrusts and he added a bit of power to them. He'd begun to drive toward his own release. As passion begat power, my own sensory tension grew and I felt the need to release again. Len's moans became groans and my crying became grunting as he reached the end of each stroke. He pounded my ass for about 90 seconds before I felt his cockhead swell and, a moment later, the heat and wetness of his release deep within me. The realization that he was giving me his essence again drove me on to my own joyous release. I pumped out about 6 shots of my hot spunk to add to the pool beneath me.
We made more beautiful, heart-felt love again later that night and the next morning. The drive back to Charlotte was a strange mix of deep love, complete satiation, and the melancholy of impending separation. We had come full circle, from lust-filled looks of longing, to love that could only be expressed through a cock and a hole, to inclusion of others, to a final expression of love in a beautiful swirl of words and touches, and now to an unspoken good-bye.
That night he kissed me in my parents' driveway. "I wouldn't change a single thing about us," he said sweetly.
"Neither would I, babe."
As he drove away I wondered if I would ever see him again. As it turned out, I never did.