Message-ID: 051323Z28101995@anon.penet.fi Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an395341@anon.penet.fi Lines: 258
o o Oh Wise Master, I wonder who rules Alt.Sex.Stories ? o Why that is easy, young Grasshopper. It is... o o ... M e r c u r y ... o o For listen to the Wind. Does it not whisper in your ear, o "Mercury rulez A.S.S.!" And listen to the babbling brook. o Does it not babble, "Mercury has the biggest dick of all!" o You see, Grasshopper. All of Nature is in harmony with o Mercury, for he is one with the Universe! o oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o o Andre Gide o o o from 'IF IT DIE...' o o I must have been about eleven. The scene again took place at o table, but this time my mother and I were alone. I had been at o school that morning. What had happened ? Possibly nothing. o ...Then why did I suddenly break down ? Why did I again o feel, as I fell convulsively sobbing into mamma's arms, that o indefinable anguish, the very same exactly that I had felt at o my little cousin's death ? It was as though some special o sluice-gate of some unknown, unbounded, mystic sea had suddenly o been opened and an overwhelming flood poured into my heart. I o was not so much unhappy as terrified; but how was I to explain o it to my mother ? All she could distinguish between my sobs o were, repeated again and again, those blind despairing words; o "I'm not like other people...not like other people !" o oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o o Notes : o o 1. I did not write this story and do not know who did. o 2. If you're a biW/A m/f 18-24 looking for friends, write. o 3. Don't write asking me to email you stories. Fuck off. o
JIMMY
(A Story In The Future)
By John Murrow
Let me tell you about Jimmy. His full name was James Thurmond Stoddard. He was born March 1st, 1961. We first met on August 5th 1985. He could always fit into the most outrageous clothing sizes (at least to me they were outrageous). Size 14 1/2 shirts and size 30 pants. Oh, what I could give to be able to slide into those sizes! Jimmy was short, though. The inseam on his pants had to be 27 inches. I guess if I had to really pick a feature of Jimmy's that was JUST Jimmy, I would have to pick his hands. They were soft, though very masculine hands, with long even fingers. A lumberjacks hands, without the calluses. Big hands with a tender touch. Well, there you have it. That's all that I can really give you. You had to know Jimmy to appreciate him.
My name is Tim, and what I'm going to tell you is something that Jimmy and I have held to ourselves for a long time. You see, I talk a lot about Jimmy to other people now, but for a long time we kept our own cousel. Jimmy will always be a big part of me. He and I were inseperable. Jimmy and I aren't together any more and that's what makes this story so important to me.
I was a volunteer for a local AIDS organization here in my home town. Jimmy was a volunteer, too. We were as different as night and day. He was short and slender. I was tall and fat. He was able to wear just about anything and look good in it. I had to pick and choose from the BIG MAN'S departments and be extremely careful about what I chose. The wrong type of stripe and I looked like a big balloon. If I was careful, I only looked like a small balloon. Jimmy had blond hair, while mine was dark brown. He could wear shoes without socks. When I did, the shoes always stuck to my feet. He rarely perspired. I had to carry a towel. He looked good with a beard. I looked like something the cat drug in. Jimmy was young and vibrant, I was over forty. Yes, we were different. Jimmy had this thing, though. He liked older, overweight guys.
We met one Saturday evening after he had moved to California from Idaho. I was minding my own business, cruising, when I heard this voice beside me saying something. I turned and there was Jimmy. He was standing next to me, looking up, asking me how the weather was up where I was. His smile was so captivating that I forgot my usual response. It would have been a tacky remark, anyway. I looked down and informed him that the weather up here was just fine. He looked at me for a moment, then turned and walked away. I figured that he had gotten enough of a look and I was not what he was expecting and turned my attention back to the bartender. He was new to the bar and quite a good-looking man. I had seen the type that he went for. I didn't stand a chance, but looking never hurt anyone.
A few seconds later I felt a tug at my elbow. Turning, a drink was thrust into my hand. Jimmy was there explaining that high altitudes tend to dry some people out and that I should be more careful about dehydration. The look in his eyes told me he was serious. The smile on his face told me he was a playful sort of person. I couldn't help myself. Normally the serious type, I broke out in a grin from ear to ear. Jimmy promptly told me that that expression was a thousand percent better. Then he blew me a kiss. I have had this type of thing happen to me before and was a little wary. I have been led on by others before, only to finally realize that I was being put on.
I opened my mouth to say something When he reached up and placed a finger at my lips and told me to be quiet. Dumbfounded, I just stared at him with a puzzled expression. He stood next to me for a few minutes, just looking at me, then pulled himself up and whispered in my ear that he'd see me next week and that I was not to change a thing. Before I could open my mouth he was gone out the door. I just sat there, holding this drink in my hand, staring at the door. I wondered what had hit me! That little guy had nerve!
All that next week I couldn't get my mind off of him. Every time I went out I wondered if I would meet up with him. On Saturday night I was scheduled to work a volunteer shift staffing the phones. I was eager to get it over with so I could get to the bar to see if he showed up. I didn't hold out much hope, and if he didn't show, I might meet someone else. I went to the office to start my shift and when I entered, Janet, our coordina tor, took me aside and told me of this young man in her office that was starting his volunteer work that evening. She asked if I would help him get acquainted with the procedures. She also asked that I go easy with him because he had been there all day for the past three days, training. I assured her that I would be gentle and for her to bring in the convicted party.
Janet returned to her office and brought him out to meet me. I stood there with a look of shock on my face. He stood across the room and scrutinized me. Janet started to get a little uncertain, then he smiled and told me that I had changed. I looked puzzled and he further explained that I had changed to a different shirt. Then he shook his finger comically at me and said that he had asked me not to change a thing last Saturday. Looking down at my shirt, I broke out in laughter. Janet just shook her head and left the room.
He bounced over to me and introduced himself. He apologized of leaving as he did last Saturday night, but he had to go to work. He was a nurse and his shift started at midnight. He had stopped in at the bar to see a friend who worked there and was leaving when he saw me sitting at the bar. He had run back to his friend to inquire about me.
I enjoyed talking with Jimmy, but business is business. We had phones to answer. In between phones we chatted like schoolgirls. I found out a lot about Jimmy that night. We were having so much fun just talking, that time went swiftly. Before we knew it, our shift had ended. I would be working with him for several more days and then he would be assigned another shift. One that fit in better with his work schedule.
One of the topics that we discussed between ourselves and our telephone clients, was SAFE-SEX procedures. We were always talking about it to clients and it was only natural that we talked to each other about it. Jimmy seemed to be genuinely interested in what I had to say, and was always attentive. During the course of the next few days Jimmy and I became fast friends. In time Jimmy was assigned to another shift that was more compatible with his regular job and we no longer worked together.
Though we were not working together, we did continue to see each other on a regular basis. I was really starting to fall for the little guy. Out of the blue, one evening while we were watching a favorite television show (a Maude rerun), Jimmy reached over and took my hand in his. He pulled me closer to him and looked up at me.
"Tim, we have to talk. Before you say anything, I want you to know that in no way do I want to hurt you." I started to say something and like that night in the bar, he reached over and touched his fingertip to my lips. "Quiet, now. Let me finish what I'm gonna' say before I chicken out." He repositioned himself in front of me and sat down on the floor between my legs and looking up, his blue eyes sparkling, "I love you, Tim, but I must tell you that I am HIV positive. I've been evading any commitments because of that." I saw tears begin to well up in his eyes as he went on. "I know that you're a volunteer with the Project and you deal with HIV positive people all the time, but I don't know what your feelings would be if one of them told you how they felt about you."
My heart had been beating real fast while he was talking to me, and I saw his finger move towards my lips as I began to speak. I stopped it in midair and instead placed my finger over his lips. "Time now for you to listen, Jimmy." His eyes shot down to gaze at the carpet. "I have been in love with you for some time now. The fact that you're HIV positive makes little difference. I've seen what you are doing for yourself and I've wondered for a long time, just what you are doing when you leave the room for a few minutes, only to come back with a soda or cof fee or something for me. You always brought back milk or water for yourself. You've answered that question for me, tonight. You always felt it necessary to leave the room when you had to take your AZT. Jimmy, from what I've seen these past months, you're a survivor. Your health is good, your heart is good. I've watched you help others overcome their fears about death and dying. How can I help but love you. If you're wondering what I feel about having a relationship with someone who is HIV+, all I can say is that it makes no difference. I love you for who you are, not what you have."
"But Tim, I may not have all that long." he almost shouted, tears now really starting to flow down his cheeks. "I don't know when something will just reach out and snatch me away. I don't want to start a relationship with someone I love very deeply, just to leave it when things are going real great."
I pulled out my handkerchief and staunched the flow of tears. Then I pulled him up on my lap and held him. I could feel his body wrenching in sobs. I held him tight. "Jimmy, dear, please believe me when I say that it makes no difference to me. Dear God, it makes no difference! You're HIV+. So what! Did it make any difference when we went out and just had a lot of fun together? Did it make a difference when we went to the movies, the theatre? Did it make a difference in how you smiled at those children playing in the park? You are living your life to the fullest. More now than at any time in your life. Jimmy....I want to be a part of that life. I want to share each precious moment with you."
"Do you really mean that, Tim?"
"Yes, I do, love. More than anything else. I want to bring you happiness and through your happiness, I'll be happy, and content. Your life is very important to me, Jimmy. More important than you can ever know." He leaned his face into my shoulder and I felt his body relax. He was still shaking and the tears had started again. I could feel the tension that had possessed him start to leave as he cried. "Let it out, Jimmy, let it all out. You'll never have to worry about how I feel, ever."
That was ten years ago. Jimmy never came down with full blown AIDS.
Last month, Jimmy and I were planning to attend a conference on the effects of a new drug that is about to be introduced, that would stop the virus dead in its tracks, when as an afterthought Jimmy had stopped at the drug store to pick up something insignificant. Jimmy was in the back of the store talking to a clerk when a man walked around a display case and without warning shot them both. They told me that Jimmy never knew what happened.
God never said that we will all live forever. Sometimes God makes it a little more difficult for some of us. Jimmy was one of God's children. He lived for many years with the threat of AIDS, only to have his life end in a drug store by an unregister ed gun. I thank God for the time that Jimmy and I had together. Times that were not easy, but not all that hard, either. We saw many of our friends called home. With each one, our love grew stronger and deeper. Our commitment to each other was one of love, and that love was truly blessed by God.
To those of you, out there, I have only one thing to say. When God sends you a gift, accept it and keep it precious, for God may never give you another. And if God does send another, you will then know what to do with it.
IN LOVING MEMORY
James Thurmond Stoddard
Age 34
Called home on February 28th, 1995
--ATTENTION--ATTENTION--ATTENTION--ATTENTION Your e-mail reply to this message WILL be automatically ANONYMIZED. Please, report inappropriate use to abuse@anon.penet.fi For information (incl. non-anon reply) write to help@anon.penet.fi If you have any problems, address them to admin@anon.penet.fi