CHAPTER 1 - JIM AND ROBIN COME HOME
It was a humiliating afternoon for Jim as he and his new wife, Robin, sat down for a conference with his father- and mother-in-law in his in-laws' modest house in the suburbs. Jim and Robin had been married only a few months earlier, against the wishes of his father-in-law, and had planned to live in a small apartment while they attended college. But now they had to admit that it hadn't worked out. They couldn't support themselves and go to school at the same time, and now they were behind in their rent with hardly enough money for food. They would have to live with Robin's parents while they went to school. It bothered Jim more than it bothered Robin who had always missed her parents.
Robin's father was now describing the terms by which he would allow them to live in his home. Jim blushed with anger. He really disliked his father-in-law although, in actuality, he was also afraid of him. Harry was a big, tough guy, a carpenter by trade, the kind of guy who would just as soon knock you down as talk to you. Jim, on the other hand, was a timid student of nineteen, not an action guy at all. He knew that Harry looked down on him and thought him a sissy, and he bristled under Harry's cutting comments. But there was nothing he could do about it. He and Robin were now at his father-in-law's mercy!
"You can have the little bedroom in back," dictated Harry as he sat on his living room couch in his undershirt. "I'll put up the money for your college and some spending dough, but you gotta foller my rules - understand? Robin, you know what the rules are. Tell them to your hubby here and make sure he understands. 'Cause if my rules ain't followed, I'll pitch him right out on his ear!"
Jim flushed with rage. But there was nothing he could do. He'd have to follow Harry's dictates!
Linda, his bosomy mother-in-law, intervened soothingly.
"Don't talk so mean, Harry," she said. "You're making it very hard for them."
"That's what I mean to do," said her husband. "They better understand the rules!"
Although he said 'they', Jim knew that Harry meant him, not Robin who, in fact, looked extremely happy at the idea of coming back home to live.
The meeting was finally concluded with Jim signing an agreement drawn up by his father-in-law that Jim would start paying him back as soon as he graduated college in two years. Two years! Jim groaned to himself. But, while he was a sophomore, Robin was only a freshman, so that it was really three whole years of having to live in his in-laws' home and following his father-in-law's rules before they both graduated and could move out!
Afterwards, as they moved their sparse belongings into the small bedroom in the back of the house, Jim asked Robin about the 'rules'.
"We have to be home for dinner every night except Saturday night," she explained. "Our room has to be clean - Daddy inspects once a week. We have to help Mommy cook and clean and do laundry, so you and I have to figure out what you'll be doing and what I'll be doing. Actually, we'll be doing it all because Daddy figures with us here that Mommy shouldn't be doing anything."
"So we're domestic servants now!" snorted Jim. "That's just great! And what else do we have to do?"
"Well, Daddy is a big believer in colon cleansing so I have to go back to a weekly schedule of getting enemas, just like before I got married."
"What!" exclaimed Jim. "Robin, you're eighteen years old. You mean your father's going to give you enemas???"
"Why, yes," said Robin innocently. "He's done it all of my life. Why, even after we got married six months ago, if I was visiting on a weekend, Daddy would give me enemas - I just never told you. Daddy gives them to Mommy every week too, and my sister Nina drops by at least every other week for a good cleaning out from Daddy."
She was referring to her older sister Nina, who was married and had three children.
"That's unbelievable," said Jim. "It's downright - sick!"
Robin peered nervously out the bedroom door.
"Don't say that in front of Daddy," she cautioned. "And don't be surprised if he doesn't think you should get a good cleaning-out too!"
"That'll be the day! And what else does Mr. Macho plan to do - give us spankings?"
Jim was joking, but Robin frowned.
"Jim, you'd better be more serious. As a matter of fact, Daddy always spanked Nina and me. If I were to do something out of line, I'd expect to be taken over his knee now that I'm living under his roof again - eighteen years old or not!"
"Well, he'd better not even think of it," said Jim. "And I don't know about these enemas either. After all, you're my wife and I have some say-so in the matter too!"
"Jim, you're not being realistic," said Robin. "If we don't follow Daddy's rules, we - you at least - will be thrown right out in the street. We'll never finish college. While we're in Daddy's house, we must follow his rules!"