Jim and I

I decided I'd attempt to write about a true experience I had with my best buddy from college. We were in a fraternity together but were not actually pledge brothers. This experience happened about five years after we had graduated. I'll call him Jim (not his real name). First, a little about what we look like and our characteristics. I'm 5'8" 155lbs, naturally smooth chest, brown hair and eyes, muscular toned body because I've worked out all my life. I'm also very shy, although most people don't realize it. Jim is the same height as me but has a naturally good physique and doesn't really need to work out. He's blonde with blue eyes and is also naturally smooth. Jim was an unbelievably good wrestler in high school but dropped wrestling in college because he preferred partying with his friends. I wrestle too but could never pin him and most guys can't. Jim is extremely out going and is liked by everyone. He has a natural curiosity about people, which is probably why he is very well liked. He also has a great sense of humor and is the type of guy that is good to his friends and would never screw anyone over. His only real fault (that I can see) is that women are crazy about him and he has a difficult time staying with one woman for very long before moving on to someone else. Jim and I have lived in different states since college so we stayed in touch mostly by phone with occasional visits. Before leaving college, I confided to Jim that I thought I preferred guys to women and though he was shocked, he was accepting and supportive. I also told other close friends and some of the feedback I received was actually pretty ugly. In spite of my preference, I haven't been with many guys because I don't really connect with other gay guys and often sense they feel the same way about me. I'm a very average, yet masculine kind of guy that people have a difficult time associating with "gay" or even "bi". Before I go any further, I'd like to say I'm not a homophobic-closeted kind of guy. I can enjoy the company of gay men because they are typically generous, kind, and can be extremely funny, much like my female friends. Unfortunately, even the guys I know who are gay consider me as a kind of enigma. They indicate their gaydar doesn't detect me, which probably makes me a bit of a freak. Most gay guys considered "strait acting" usually aren't, at least from my perspective. Predictably, my closest friends are strait and in reality, I probably feel more as ease and accepted by strait guys. Having said this, back to my story. After confiding my preference to Jim, he liked to tease me about being gay. I think he really enjoyed having a friendship considered pretty taboo in many parts of the world as well as the US (this was in the early 80's). We trust each other enough that when alone, he can call me a fag or homo and know he can get away with it because we are close friends and I know he's just having fun. Beginning College, my sexual experience with guys was mostly mutual jacking off with guys in high school. I fucked women but something was always missing if you know what I mean. By college, women had become very available and adolescent experimentation with your friends had become a thing of the past for most guys. After turning 21 and visiting my first gay bar, I realized I was definitely more attracted to strait guys than the guys I met in the bars. Instead, I focused on partying within my fraternity and, believe it or not, sex remained a pretty low priority for me throughout college. Fast forward five or six years out of college, I was still always single and had all but given up on finding a guy in the bars I was attracted to. My sex life relied mostly on what ever my fantasies would bring me when jacking off. I never really talked about this with Jim because I didn't want him to know I was basically "fucked" when it came to meeting someone I'd really like to be with. Jim's a really positive guy and I think he just thought I liked being single. We never really talked about my sex life (or lack of) and I imagine he felt I could get laid any time I wanted because I am pretty good looking and stay in really good shape. Still, he liked to joke around about the fact that he was also good looking and assumed I would find very attractive if he were only bi or gay, which is true. Jim has never been up tight about his body and he's competitive enough with me that I think he liked the idea I could see him nude and probably get aroused by it. For example, when he was visiting my city we had connected with several women we knew in college. One of them made a comment about Jim having a big cock because she had fucked him in college. Later at my place, I had walked into the bathroom when he was in the shower and he joked I had just wanted to see his dick because our friend had mentioned he was really huge. I guess we really hadn't seen each other's cocks before this and I didn't see his cock during this incident because he was behind the shower curtain. There were a couple of incidents similar to this but nothing beyond a casual joke. As for me, Jim was occasionally a jerk off fantasy but I really considered him off limits because we were close and I always wanted him to feel as safe with me as I did with him. Over the years, men and women have tried to pressure me for sex and I hate it if we haven't established any chemistry beyond saying hello or making eye contact. When I did jerk off thinking about Jim, I felt guilty about it later because he was much more like a brother and I usually cursed myself for being hard up and lonely. After Jim was married, he seemed to become a little more interested in my sex life. For some reason, he began to bring it up much more often, almost as though he was trying to convince himself once and for all that I really preferred men to women. He would often say, "I can't believe you are really gay". A couple of times I lost my temper with him because I suspected some of our old college buddies were giving him a hard time about he and I being close. In spite of Jim being open minded, our old friends from college were not and several did not want to have anything to do with me because they had heard I was either gay or bi. Anyway, I told him my suspicion and he needed to deal with it because it wasn't really my problem at this stage in my life. By then, I did not have contact with anyone from college except for Jim and was living in a different state. Deep down I was feeling pretty hurt that he might be embarrassed about our being friends. During this time, I went to visit him and his wife during the summer. I remember the weather was really hot and as usual, we were up fairly late, talking and drinking beer. We sat outside because it was a clear night and his wife wanted to go to bed. It was probably about 1:00 am and I was feeling pretty buzzed as I'm sure he was. Out of the blue, Jim said he had been thinking about something lately and wanted to tell me what it was. He was speaking really softly and I thought he might want to tell me he had cheated on his wife. He said, "Lately, when I'm fucking Michelle, I think about letting a guy cum in my mouth". That was all he said. This was a really strange for Jim because we hadn't even been discussing sex. I didn't really know what to say and after a slight pause, Jim said, "I just thought I should tell you this". In spite of being pretty shocked by his statement, I could feel myself getting a little aroused. Jim had never voiced any type curiosity about two guys actually having sex and his statement just sounded so blunt. He had never even asked me what I had done with a guy before. I must have said something like, "that's cool Jim" because he next said he had been wondering what it would feel like if he were to let me cum in his mouth. Now I was definitely becoming excited. Honestly, it sounded kind of dirty the way Jim talked about it, probably because I suspected this was how he felt about it. I think anything remotely gay was still pretty taboo for Jim. Also, I'm sure I too had suppressed the idea of him and I having sex at some point primarily because I suspected males having sex was a real turn off for him. Even when I fantasized about him, It was always limited to him and I having a threesome with a chick because Jim is so strait and he and I fucking around just seemed too unrealistic, even if just a fantasy. At this moment I still tried to play it off. I must have said something like that's kind of interesting you would think about me. I may have even said I was a little flattered. Meanwhile, my head was really spinning. He just got really quiet and we continued to drink our beers. Neither one of us said anything for quite a while and I just listened to the crickets because it was so quiet where he lived. After a brief time, Jim said, "So do you want to?" Now I got really aroused but didn't want him to know because I was sort of embarrassed by my feelings. After all, he was my best friend and I didn't want him to know I found him a turn on. By the way, we were sitting in just our swim trunks because he had a pool. It was pretty dark so I don't think he could tell my dick was hard. I just looked at him and noticed he wasn't looking at me. By now I was thinking, "Where is this going" and just asked, "Do I want to do what exactly?" He said, "You know, suck each other's cock". "Don't you want to end the mystery?" With this, I realized Jim had never been stupid and must have realized I had my own occasional fantasy about him. I also suspected Jim thought my feelings for him were more than just friendship at this point. I had once told him I had a crush on him way back in college because I didn't want any hidden agendas between us. Besides, after we matured my feelings changed pretty drastically and I could no longer say I had a thing for him. My mouth was really dry and I said, "Hey man, we really better not". "Besides, you're married and your wife's asleep in the house". I had to admit, Jim was still a hot guy. In spite of being really good-looking, his personality makes him even more attractive. Jim can be really aggressive and when his mind is made up, he's not afraid to go for what he wants. Now, suddenly, he was trying to convince me I should have sex with him. I felt like he was treating me like a women he typically met in a bar and it was really turning me on because it was an unbelievable dialogue taking place between he and I. He started to say things like `Come on buddy, let's suck each other off...no one will ever know." "You know you want to man". "Come on buddy, its no big deal". I can't believe I held out for as long as I did. After about 20 minutes of this, my boner was starting to hurt because I was harder than I'd ever been in my life. I knew I loved Jim as a friend and realized I had never really had sex with anyone I cared this much about, even if was just oral sex. I think Jim sensed this too because he said, "You're ok with this right?" "I mean you won't get upset after or anything like that". Looking back, I realized later he was just trying to establish that although I cared about him, I was not in love with him. Jim's not impulsive to the point of ignoring these types of details. He probably knew this was going be a one-time thing and didn't want me to expect it to happen again. In fact, he made a statement that voiced his insight about my feelings. My only thought at the moment was that I really wished I was much more sober. After giving in, I asked him where we should go and he said we could bring the cushions from the lounge chairs and go into the pastor beyond the yard. At this point I think I was actually shaking because the situation suddenly seemed so unreal to me. Jim really took the lead and I realized he was probably much less nervous than I was. Once we were in the pasture, I realized it was a pretty full moon and I could see him pretty well. For the first time since I knew him, I noticed he was just starting to gain a little weight in his gut. He always had a natural six-pack and for some reason, this gradual change in his body made him really sexy in my eyes. Jim's body was very ripped in college because of wrestling. I realized we were both a little older now and it dawned on me how far we had come as friends. Even so, I really couldn't believe we were getting ready to give each other head. At most, in my fantasies about Jim, I always imagined anything happening between us sexually amounted to he and I watching each other fuck the same chic, which normally would have been a huge turn on for me. In my drunken state, our carrying the cushions into the pasture and watching my best friend in the moonlight while contemplating sucking his cock was almost too much for me to comprehend. Soon he stopped and put one cushion down and I laid the other next to it. We just sort of dropped to our knees on the cushion and he started pulling off his swim suit. I did the same and was suddenly self-conscious about being naked with a boner in front of him. Having my first opportunity to look at his body without any guilt quickly distracted me. Jim had a nice boner and I realized we were about the same size. He wasn't huge after all (the woman had exaggerated) but we are both fairly well endowed. Before going any farther, Jim said, "this is just between you and I and the fence post". I guess I sort of laughed because I never heard that expression before. Although Jim's seen a lot of the world, he's never lost any of the rural characteristics of his personality. He just lay on his side and patted the cushion suggesting I should do the same. Jim finally spoke and said, let's get in a 69 position so I spun around and place my cock right in his face. Jim wrapped his fist around it and didn't waste any time putting the head of my cock in his mouth. However, I took a little more time looking at his cock and touching his nuts. I really wanted this to last. It occurred to me that he was probably physically the most beautiful guy I had been with up to now. Jim had a really nice looking cock and I eventually started to suck his dick the way he was sucking mine. He rocked his hips and moaned a little while I went back and forth from his cock to his balls. It felt really good feeling his hand press against my head wanting me to take more of his cock down my throat. We changed our position on the cushions several times, placing him on top and then I would roll on top. I really enjoyed feeling his body rocking against mine thinking this is my friend Jim, and I'm actually sucking him off. His skin felt so smooth and looked almost white in the moonlight in spite of his pronounced tan line just above his ass. After about 20 minutes we were really going at it. He was honestly pretty good at sucking me and didn't see squeamish at all about getting my cock down his throat. I tried slipping my finger up his ass but could tell he wasn't cool with that so I just stuck with sucking his dick. I was so turned on I thought I could blow him all night if he wanted to. When trying to convince me to do this, Jim had mentioned this was "just lust" and I realized he was right. Being as turned on as I was, I would have done anything he asked at that moment. Unfortunately, Jim made it clear he only wanted to suck me off. As Jim continued sucking my dick, I got close to cuming several times and had to ask him to stop just to let me cool down. Eventually, he reminded me he wanted me to cum in his mouth, which was really the focal point of his fantasy. I finally decided it was time to cum and let him know I was ready. I sat up and started jacking my cock. It was slick with his spit and I knew I was ready to blow a large load for him. I told him "here it comes". He buried his face in my lap and closed his lips around the head of my cock. I must have ejaculated about eight squirts of semen into his mouth and he was groaning the whole time. I was so focused on him taking my cum, to this day I can't remember if he himself came or not. He just held it in his mouth and spit it out once my orgasm subsided. After coming down, we put our suits back on and walked back to his house. I went swimming to cool off and he went to bed. >jackson5311@juno.com<