Warning: This is part three of a romance story in a high school setting between two females, and the prelude to the final chapter of this story, which will take place in part 4. I want to thank everyone for sending me feedback, and especially thank Peg, Ann, and Kim for inspiring this story and supporting me. If you don't like stories involving same-sex relationships and/or sexual experiences, please refrain from looking at this story. All persons described in this story are fictional and are in no way to be compared with people in life. This is fictional and is not based on an actual story, this is just for entertainment.
For feedback, positive or negative, please email me at nicelessis@hotmail.com; I look forward to reading responses to my story. The title, persons, and setting in the story are copyrighted NiceLesSis and no content of this story should be used without the explicit permission of the author.
Jessica's Heart - Part Three By NiceLesSis
The rest of the day was very hard for Jessica. She was not used to being talked about behind her back and being the subject of lots of gossip. Most of her friends kept away from her, some of them out of hate, the other out of not wanting to be on the "wrong end" of the social status. A few actually talked to her, fewer still hung out with her between classes. Her mind was reeling with thoughts, struggling between the sadness that had welled up inside of her, and the happiness that had exploded from her in her proclamation during lunch. Emily, on the other hand, had been calm and helpful, the only sadness in her heart reserved for Jessica. She had been "out" for a while now, and everyone, including her parents, knew. She wasn't ashamed about her sexuality and didn't care about the gossip and rumors floating around the school, but her heart went out for what Jessica was going through. After the day was finished both Emily and Jessica walked back to Jessica's house. Once they were out of view from the other students, Jessica took Emily's hand in her and just gave a very loud sigh. "This has not been the best day for me, Em. And you, you get just as much rumors spread around about you as me, yet you're acting so cool and calm. How is that possible? Doesn't it bother you?" Emily just shrugged her shoulders a little. "A little, but I don't think about it too much. I've been used to this type of behavior from when I was at my old high school, it wasn't very nice, but it's not exactly something you can stop." She stopped a moment and brushed Jessica's cheek lightly. "I am sorry, though, that you have to deal with all of this. This is all so new to you and I'm sure that you're not dealing well with it." She sighed and slumped a little. "I'll manage. It's just that I need to find out some way to tell my mother before she hears any rumors." She brushed a lock of her hair behind her right ear and gave another sigh. "I just don't know how I'm going to do it, Em. I don't even know how she feels on the subject." "It's going to be okay, Jessica. Just remember, no matter what, I'm here for you and I won't leave you when you need me." "Thanks, Em. I just have a feeling this will be very hard for me."
Indeed it was hard for Jessica later that night at home. Her mother got home pretty late from her job and by that time Jessica had already had dinner, a quick microwave personal pizza, and was in the "family room" working on her homework. She had been dreading this moment since lunch, but knew that it eventually had to take place. She only hoped that she was ready for it and that whatever came about she wouldn't have to leave her own home. She heard footsteps walking into the room and turned to see her mother's form standing just behind her. "Hi mom," she said, barely audible, then turned her attention back to her homework, hoping to stall a little bit more. It didn't work. Her mother sat down in the chair next to her at the table and placed her hands on Jessica's science book. "Okay, what's wrong? I know that voice, I know something's going on." Jessica gave a wry grin and placed her pencil down, turning to look at her mother. "Yeah, there's been a lot going on, at school mostly. Something happened last week that made me...think about things in my life. And especially today, I did something that will make being at school a little harder, but hopefully, in the long run of my life, very worth it." The look on her mother's face was that of intense worry, but also of uncontrollable interest. Jessica was so worried about what she was going to tell her, and apparently her mother was very good at reading the anxiety and apprehension that was in her thoughts and words. "Jessica, whatever it is, I am sure that you made the right decision. You're a smart girl, and if you want to change something in your life, well, I'm sure that it will work out for you. So what is it?" Jessica just looked at her mother and took a very deep breath, letting it out slowly, her mind hoping to stall just a few more seconds of what would inevitably have to be said. "Mom...I'm gay." The look on her mother just stayed solid until finally she started blinking and looking at Jessica with curiosity. "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right." "Mom, I'm gay. Today at lunch I came out in front of my friends, I told them I was gay. I...am...gay." Her mother started stuttering and got up from the table. "We'll talk about this later, when you have more time to think about it." She began to walk out the room when Jessica stood up and shut the science book closed, making a low slam against the table. "There is nothing to talk about, mother." She hardly ever called her mother, unless she was mad at her. "I am gay, there is nothing you or anyone else can do to change that. I'm out in the open at school, so pretty soon everyone who wants to be my friend, despite my 'sexual preference,' will be my friend, and those who don't will mock me, make fun of me, and treat me like scum, but do you know what, mother? At least I will know what and who I am, what part I play in life, and with whom I should be with. So, mother, you can either support me...or just forget about the whole thing." There was a long moment of silence as her mother stood in the doorway, not moving a muscle. After about two minutes she turned her head and looked in the direction of Jessica, not at her face, but down at her feet, not wanting to see her eyes at that moment. In a low voice, one full of hurt and uncertainty, she said, "we'll talk about this later, Jessica." She then just walked out of the room, leaving Jessica to her own thoughts about the subject. Jessica sat back down at the table and opened her science book again. As she started going over the chemistry equations and soling the problems that her teacher assigned she stopped and sighed to herself. 'This is not at all what I had planned for my life...why can't I have what I want?'
Jessica attempted quite a few times to talk about the subject of her sexuality with her mother over the next few days, but she was always rebuffed with a lame excuse or a simple "I don't want to talk about it now, maybe later." It got to the point where Jessica stopped trying and just began dealing with the fact that her mother didn't enjoy the new part of her life. Some of her friends still talked to her at school, but most of them left her alone. It wasn't that being gay was such a shock to society; after all, gay people have been out and about for a very long time. It's just that people had a huge problem accepting people who strayed outside the "norm" of society. The one person who made it all worth it, though, was Emily. Emily and Jessica spent a lot of time together and Jessica was sure that she was beginning to fall for her. She couldn't keep her out of her thoughts and the time she spent with Emily was the happiest moments of her day. She looked forward to seeing her each day and missed her when they were apart. She did not want to use the word "love" at this time because she had never experienced the emotion before, but she was sure that if she spent more time with Emily she would eventually use the word time and again, and mean it. And a new thing happened to her, one that she did not expect at all. She had never really paid attention to her vagina before, never really thought about sexual pleasure, because she didn't have a fantasy life. But since she started kissing and getting massages from Emily, she found that she would get a little tingle in her vagina. It wasn't always the physical things about their friendship/relationship that made her feel pleasure, it was the things like how Emily looked at her, how she smiled and brushed the hair out of Jessica's eyes, how she stared into those eyes and conveyed all sorts of meaning in that little contact. It made her feel so happy, so wanted, so pleased. She hadn't really done much to explore herself. She knew about the pleasure centers of her body, of course. All freshmen were required to take a sex-ed course, and she had been no exception. She was always afraid of being caught by her mother in that situation, and especially during the last week after she had told her mother about her sexuality. And her dreams had been filled with Emily. Mostly it was just the two of them walking around, looking at things, Jessica showing her the attractions and sites. She was really enjoying the time she had with Emily and, despite all the negative things said about her by her once-be friends, she was happy. Happy...but still a little sad from not being "accepted."
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Jessica turned around to look at Emily who was snuggling behind her and gave a small smile. "How did you know that something was wrong, Em? I didn't do anything, at least I don't think I did, to indicate I was sad." "Well, you may not know it, but you give a little shrug whenever something bothers you. It's very hard to pick up on." Emily traced a finger along the bridge of Jessica's nose and down to her cheek. "What's bothering you, Jessica?" Jessica sighed and looked at Emily. "I just wish that I was accepted, that being who and what I am wasn't considered wrong by everyone." She leaned in for a little kiss and then stayed there, hugging her tightly. "I just want to be left alone with you and not have to worry about anyone else's opinion." "Then don't, sweetie." Emily kissed Jessica back and brushes her cheek with the palm of her hand. "We don't have to live by their rules, we don't have to follow them. We're our own people, and we don't need anyone else to tell us what is good for us." She looked at her for a moment then said, "How did it go with your mother? This is part of it, isn't?" Jessica nodded and felt Emily's arms enclose her even more. "She won't even talk about it, she keeps making up some excuse to put it off. Put it off to what, though, I don't know, since it's quite impossible to even talk to her about it." "I'm sorry, Jessica. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I honestly don't know how. I could talk to your mom if you think she'll listen to a long-lasting lesbian then just a new rookie." Jessica looked at her with a double take and noticed Emily smiling at her with a mischievous grin. "Oh, don't do that, that's not funny." Despite her words she couldn't keep a grin off her face. "Thank you, I needed that." "No problem, Jessica." Emily gave her a tight hug and they continued to hold one another for a while. Soon they just forgot about whatever it was they were doing before and fell asleep in each other's arms. As Jessica drifted off to sleep, the one thought that passed her mind was 'I think I love her.' She gave a small smile in her sleep and knew that waking up in the arms of this girl was one of the treasures she was going to have for a long time.
End of part three