Jessicas Heart

By moc.liamtoh@sisselecin

Published on Jul 30, 2001

Lesbian

Warning: This is part one of a romance story in a high school setting between two females. If you don't like stories involving same-sex relationships and/or sexual experiences, please refrain from looking at this story. All persons described in this story are fictional and are in no way to be compared with people in life. This is fictional and is not based on an actual story, this is just for entertainment.

For feedback, positive or negative, please email me at nicelessis@hotmail.com; I look forward to reading responses to my story. The title, persons, and setting in the story are copyrighted NiceLesSis and no content of this story should be used without the explicit permission of the author.

Jessica's Heart - Part One By NiceLesSis

Jessica was your average fifteen-year-old girl, crazy about music and shopping, and there wasn't much to her that her friends and family didn't know. She had a good figure that she worked hard to keep up, a height of five feet and seven inches, hazel eyes, and strawberry-blonde hair extending down to her shoulders and curling outward. Many believed she looked good enough to be the Homecoming Queen, but she herself said she was just an average girl with average interests. She did, though, enjoy a lot of the intellectual things, her interest sometimes winning her the category of "nerd," but she didn't really mind. She prided herself on being able to look at a situation and see the solution with a minimal amount of stress or panic involved, whether it was in her schoolwork or in her personal life. She was a very popular girl among the sophomores at her high school, but there was always something gnawing at her mind, trying to tell her something that she wasn't exactly understanding and it frustrated her greatly. She'd gone on many dates, her parents being respective and knowing she would never get into a situation where she would find herself pregnant, but none of the boys seemed to make her feel happy or event content. There was Bobby the track runner; he'd actually been really sweet despite the stereotypical jock that he appeared to be at school. And there was Nick, one of the so called "geeks" around school; many thought all he did was sit around and look at the stars wondering when aliens were going to land to imprison everyone. But, in fact, Nick was very charming and adorable; his most best kept secret being that he wrote poetry and enjoyed such wonderful musical artists like Bryan Adams or Seal. It almost broke Jessica's heart when she turned him down for a third date. So, she was not really sure what it was that was going on, why she didn't seem to be able to actually like a guy more than just a friend, but she was sure that whatever it was had to do with what was nagging at the back of her mind. She wasn't sure how, but she was determined to figure out just what it was that her subconscious was trying to tell her. On this particular day, though, Jessica was not thinking about it much. It was a Thursday in October and she was reading a book-something Nick had recommended to her some times ago called The Lord of the Rings-in HomeRoom when Mr. Grafton spoke up. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet a new student, Emily Lavers. Emily just moved here from Fredrick, Maryland, so she's not used to what D.C. life is like. So, please, be nice to her and help show her around." Most of the people in HomeRoom didn't pay much attention to Grafton or Emily, but Jessica did. She had always tried to be nice to new people, as she, herself, had once been new to her school friends a couple of years ago.

But it wasn't her being a new student that got Jessica's attention; it was what she was wearing. Emily was a rather short girl, about five feet and an inch with a small build. Her hair was a dark brown with traces of red along the edges, giving her the look of someone on fire. She wore a black Hard Rock Café t-shirt topped off with black leather half-jacket and a tight pair of jean shorts. But the most impressive-and disturbing, thought Jessica-part of her were her blue eyes. She briefly looked at Jessica with them and Jessica was sure that she could seem a lot of sorrow, pain, and even some bitterness behind them. It sent a slight shiver down her body but she quickly pushed it away and gave Emily a smile, her hand waving her over to the desk she was at. Once Emily was there she extended her hand. "Hey, I'm Jessica. Nice to meet you. Cute outfit, by the way. Think of it yourself, cause it suits you." She seemed a little preoccupied as she took Jessica's hand, almost as if she was afraid of something. "Hey. So, this is a D.C. school, huh? I always imagined it to be bristling with metal detectors and armed guards waiting to take down someone who flashed an Uzi around by mistake." "Nah, they take every third day off, so the guards get a rest while they're gone." She gave a small grin in her direction and put a place marker in her book. "So, you were in Fredrick, huh? I've been there a couple of times. Liked it?" "It was where I was born." Emily gave a shrug and finally sat down next to Jessica. "Thank you for talking to me, by the way. I hope that in a few days when the rumors start you'll still talk to me." "Rumors?" Jessica just looked at her with an uncertain gaze. "About what? It doesn't look to me that you've done anything wrong that warrants a rumor." Emily gave a wan smile in her direction. "You'll understand when the rumors come out, trust me." The bell struck and everyone gathered their books and headed for the door. Emily looked back over her shoulder at Jessica and said "hey, you're going to be late for your first period. Better get moving, Jessica." Jessica gathered up her backpack and books and headed off to her history class, but her mind sudden filled up with the need to figure out what the rumors about Emily were going to be. She didn't understand why she had to learn something more about this complete stranger, but she felt that she would find it most intriguing when she did.

Indeed Emily had been correct. On the following Wednesday Jessica overheard a couple of the girls in bathroom talking about Emily. "Well, I just don't believe it. I mean, sure, I have some friends who say they've felt that way," said the first girl, "but they never blatantly came out and said they were gay." "I hear she's just saying that so that she can have a cover for her real life, which is a stripper. She's our age! But she's already stripping. She gives all of us girls a bad name," said the second girl. Jessica waited until both were gone before she made her way back to HomeRoom. It was lunch period and Emily was eating at Jessica's desk, just as she had been doing the past week. Apparently Jessica was the only person who seemed to give Emily a hand in things around school and had earned her friendship for being such a nice person. When Emily looked up as Jessica sat down her face sudden changed from quizzical intrigue to that of resignation. "You heard, finally, I see." They're not true, right? I mean, the thought of you being a stripping is just ludicrous, Em." She had taken to calling her Em for short, for some reason unknown even to her. "Well, that rumor is false. I'm no more a stripper than the Vice President is able to go five minutes without having a cardiac attack." Jessica froze for a brief moment, her thoughts coming together slowly. 'She said THAT rumor wasn't true...which means...' Emily apparently noticed her look of problem solving going on and just nodded. "The other is true." She took a bite out of her sandwich acting as though she didn't think it was a secret. "So, should I write you off as a friend now?" Jessica, despite her shocked look, shook her head intently. "Not at all. I'll admit, I'm a bit taken aback by your telling me, but that doesn't mean I will not remain your friend. In fact, you talk to your parents about coming over on Friday?" "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." She smiled a little, but Jessica could tell the hint of despair was still present behind that smile. "They said it was okay so long as they confer with your parents to make sure. Other then that, I don't see anything stopping me from coming over." "Good." She smiled back, but the smile wasn't completely out of friendship.

In the back of her mind, a small voice whispered a word to here that made her wonder what was really going on inside of her. The single word was "affection" but she didn't know why it would be associated with Emily. She mentally shrugged it off and continued to eat her lunch.

Friday afternoon was really hard for Jessica. Word had gotten out that Emily was going to be staying over at her house and so she had become part of the rumor-mill that was going around school. While she knew that not of it was true-save the gay part-part of her wondered what right they had to judge her even if she was really involved in those things. Once the bell in the last period rang she flew towards her locker where she already found Emily waiting. This wasn't a surprise, as Emily's last class was just next to Jessica's locker, and she had almost always met her here after school. "You ready to go?" she asked Jessica. Jessica nodded and grabbed some books out of her locker, knocking it shut with her hip. "Mom's parked right outside. She's going to drop us off at the house and then go get some pizza for us." The two of them headed out the doors and towards the parking lot where Jessica's mom was waiting in a brown mini-van. Once inside and buckled in they were on their way to Jessica's house, which wasn't that far away. It took maybe five minutes to get there and as soon as Jessica and Emily where inside the door, the mini-van took off with Jessica's mom inside. Jessica led Emily up to her bedroom and flopped her pack down on the side of the bed, her own body betraying her and falling down beside it. She heard a small "thump" from the floor and assumed that Emily had done likewise. There was an awkward silence for a few minutes in which Jessica tried to figure out just how to ask what she had wanted to ask for the past two days.

As if sensing her indecision, Emily spoke up, her voice low and soft, almost soothing, from the floor. "Yes, they do bother me, but not to the point where I can't be happy...if you can call my life happy." Jessica sat up on her arm and looked over the bed at her friend. "How is it you're able to know what I want to say or ask even before I do?" "Because I've been through this situation before with any girl who becomes my friend for the first time. Oh, and I used to work for Miss Cleo." Jessican grinned a little. "You're very brave, Em. I'm not sure I could deal with those rumors." "I hope that if you ever do, Jessica, it will be because you truly are what they're saying. I'm not ashamed of what I am, of WHO I am, so I'm not about to apologize about it to the likes of people too bigoted to understand what it means to follow your heart." Emily turned her head to look up at Jessica's bed, though Jessica was sure she couldn't actually see her in the position she was in. "Have you ever followed your heart, Jessica?" Jessica took a long time in answering. She wasn't sure why, but this huge part of her was shouting at her to answer in the negative. She struggled with it for a moment and then shook her head, not trusting herself to speak at that moment "Why?" "I don't know...I mean, I've always THOUGHT I had, but for most of my life I have this feeling in the back of my mind that I have been fooling myself about something. I'm not sure what, though." "Oh...I think I know what it is." "Really, what?!" Emily just grinned at her, her expression not that of enjoyment from hurting her, but from teasing her. "I'm not going to tell you. You're going to have to find out yourself." "That's not exactly helpful, Em!" She threw a pillow at her and suddenly the two of them became engulfed in a full-fledged pillow fight. As they were having fun Jessica noticed that for the first time in a really long while she felt relaxed and happy.

Later that night the two of them were watching a movie that Emily had brought with her, one that Jessica had always wanted to see: Girl, Interrupted. While parts of her mind were scared and glad she wasn't in such a bad state of mind, she hardly really paid much attention to it. For some reason she couldn't stop thinking about Emily. She really couldn't understand until finally she went through a thought process and came up with a logical answer that astonished her. I'm attracted to her! Almost as if a dam had blown, the portion of her mind that had been screaming at her for so long flooded her current thoughts. It explained a lot of things, such as the reasons why she could never really commit to the guys she dated, why she enjoyed reading fashion reports on the styles famous movies stars wore, and why she didn't seem to care about the rumors concerning her. She had finally come to the conclusion that she was attracted to women, and especially the girl who was sitting next to her, her expression so rigid as her attention was focused on the movie. Jessica gave a small squeal of exasperation and Emily turned to look at her, a little worry on her face. "You okay, Jessica?" "I...I think so." "Jessica, what is it?" Emily turned off the TV and looked at Jessica, real concern evident n her expression. "What's the matter?" Without even saying a word, without even thinking, Jessica put her arms around Emily's body and leans forward, her lips pressing against Emily's and stayed there for a long time as the two enjoyed a light kiss. It was a good thirty seconds later when Jessica broke the contact and pulled back a little to look at Emily, an expression of wonder and final understanding on her face. Emily touched her hand to her lips and traced the place where Jessica had kissed her, the look on her on face that of a little shock, but more so of happiness and pleasure. "What was that for?" "I finally understood what that part of my mind was trying to say...Em, I've kissed guys before, even more so intently then the one I just gave you, but...I've never felt such a surge of emotion before like I just did...I think I'm gay, Em." Emily smiled sweetly and blushed a little. "Well then, I have a confession to make, Jessica. Since the first time I saw you last week I thought you were very beautiful. And when you stayed my friend, even after those rumors, I started to really like you...no one has ever bee that sweet and kind to me. I've been thinking of you all week." "Really? Well why didn't you just ask me or tell me or something?" "And risk losing your friendship?" Emily shook her head slowly. "Being your friend and not being your girlfriend would be a lot better then being neither, Jessica. Oh," she said, and blushed again, "thank you for giving me my first kiss." Jessica just blinked at her. "That was your FIRST kiss? You've never been kissed before?" She saw Emily shook her head and Jessica just reach over and gave her another kiss on the lips, a very soft and gentle kiss to stop time with. When they were done, Jessica smiled and said, "I think we're going to be kissing a lot, Em...and maybe some more things..." Both grinned and blushed at Jessica's last comment and then hugged one another. Jessica sighed happily in Em's arms and soon the two fell asleep on the bed in that position. As Jessica starts to go to drift off, she knew, for the first time, that she had truly found herself and opened herself up to her own heart.

End of part one.

Next: Chapter 2


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