This story is a work of fiction. I do not claim to know Jesse McCartney (although I wish I did ;-D), nor do I know about his sexual preference (ditto). This story will contain some sexual content, and is about a relationship between two men. If this offends you, then I suggest you use that handy close button on your window. If it's illegal for you to be reading this, well then you shouldn't be here either, but you probably already knew that :-P.
And again, big thanks to Kyle, Ty and Wes, and (a new addition) Becky (yes guys, a girl :-o) for proofreading and critiquing the chapters!
Jesse and Nate: Chapter 12
"Visitors for Kirsten Robinson? Kirsten Robinson?"
I looked up and saw a nurse holding a clipboard. I elbowed Kyle, waking him up and startling him, looking at me. I glanced at the nurse, so he nodded, stretched, and got up, with me closely following him.
"You're here visiting Kirsten Robinson?" she asked, looking at us.
"Yeah," I said, nodding tiredly. It had been five hours since Kirsten was taken to prep for surgery, during which we tried and failed to read, drifted in and out of sleep, drank coffee, ate some breakfast that Kyle got from the cafeteria, drank some more coffee, and just stared into space, wondering how Kirsten was doing.
"Good," the nurse said, starting to walk with us trailing behind her. "You can come with me. She's in the recovery room right now, so you can come and visit her for fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, the rules are that the patient is only allowed one visitor by the bedside at a time, and the visit is for a total of fifteen minutes, so you'll have to divide them up between yourselves. Also, if you have any questions, you can ask her nurse. Oh, and please turn off your cell phones, the're not allowed to be on in the recovery room." She sounded like she's said it a thousand times, which, I realized, she probably has.
"Is she awake?" I asked.
"Yes, I believe so. She is most likely still pretty groggy, so it would be best to not try to engage her in too much conversation."
"Okay, no problem," I replied. Kyle just nodded.
We got to a pair of double doors. "You'll have to put these on," the nurse said, handing us hospital gowns, "and Purell your hands," she pointed to a dispenser on the wall. As we did so, she asked, "So who's going in first?"
"You can go in first," I told Kyle. "No, it's fine, go ahead," I said in response to his questioning look. I realized that he hadn't said anything at all since the nurse called us, and had a scared look on his face.
I looked at him concernedly, but he just shook his head and said, "Its ok, I'll be ok." He took a deep breath and followed the nurse into the recovery room. She gave me a backwards glance and said, "You can wait out here," then turned back.
"No problem," I said softly, even thought she couldn't hear me and wasn't even paying attention. After five or six minutes of waiting, watching doctors and nurses go in and out of the room, Kyle came back out with the nurse. At least he didn't look terrified anymore.
"She's alright," he said. "Pretty groggy, didn't really talk much. Weird for her, I know," he gave a weak grin. "Just...be ready to see her with all these tubes and stuff... it's a little scary."
"Okay," I said
I took a deep breath and followed the nurse to Kirsten's bed.
And it was scary. She had tubes coming out of her arms leading to an IV, one coming out from under her blanket leading to a jar collecting what looked like blood, which I assumed was normal oozing from the operation, and another one leading to a bag, which was filling with urine. There were wires coming from under her gown leading to an EKG machine. And she looked really pale and tired, with dark circles under her eyes, her hair all stringy. I just couldn't believe Kirsten was lying in a hospital bed like this, so close to...to death.
She looked up at me and smiled slightly. "Hey, Nate, how's it hanging?"
I gave her a little grin. "Not bad, how's by you?"
"Oh you know, same ol'. Nothin too special."
I gave her another forced grin. "Ok, but really, how are you? How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"
"Nah, I'm alright. A little tired. And these pain killers are working wonders. Look, I even have a little button to up the dosage if I need," she said, pulling up a little button in her right hand. "I feel anything, I just give this a push and I'm a happy camper again. Speaking of which," she winced slightly, and gave the button a push. I heard one of the machines by her bed whir a little. "That's better," she sighed. She didn't speak for a little while, letting the drugs do their thing. "So, how are you? How's Jesse?" she finally said.
"I'm ok, and I'm assuming he's ok, I haven't spoken to him at all..."
"Oh, okay. I'm sure he's fine."
"Yeah," I replied as she yawned. "Okay, I should get going before the nurses chase me out, so you get your beauty rest, not that you need it, and I'll talk to you later. I think there's a visiting time in a few hours, if you're up."
"Okay, that sounds good," she replied, already starting to close her eyes. "Thanks, Nate."
"No problem," I replied, and walked to the exit.
Kyle wasn't outside the recovery room when I got out, so I assumed he went back to the waiting room or the bathroom or something. I sighed, turned my phone back on, and it immediately started ringing. ÔGood timing,' I thought. I saw it was my mom calling.
"Hey Mom." I started walking back to the waiting room.
"Hi sweetie, how's it going?"
"Okay."
"Well," she said, probably noticing in my voice that I didn't feel like a long conversation, "I just wanted to check up on how Kirsten's doing."
"She looks pretty good, considering, she's out of surgery. I just saw her in the recovery room."
"Oh that's great! How is she?"
"She looks good," I repeated, "in some pain, and tired."
"Well that's to expected."
"Yeah."
"And how are you doing?" she asked as I turned the corner into the waiting room.
"I'm doing..." I froze.
"Nate? Nate, are you there?"
"Oh, uh, yeah, Mom. I'm good, I gotta go, bye."
"Um, Okay, Natey, bye. Gimme a call later, love you."
"Love you too, bye."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Standing there, talking to Kyle, was Jesse. My Jesse. Jesse McCartney. The one who's supposed to be in California. I think I mentioned that I couldn't believe it.
Kyle signaled him, and he turned around. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes when I saw him facing me. I put the back of my hand to my mouth to hold them back. He walked up to me and gave me a hug, and I squeezed him as tight and as long as I dared, knowing we were in public and some of the girls around the room probably already recognized him despite his glasses and low hat.
We released, and I just stared at him. "What... what are you doing here?"
"Oh come on, like I'd let you just sit here depressed!"
"But what about your recording and stuff?"
"Eh, I told em I'm taking a few days off, they can do mixing and stuff while I'm gone, anyway."
"Well, jeez Jess, I dunno what to say... thanks!" I exclaimed.
"No prob, Nate, really." He turned to Kyle, who was watching us the entire time, I realized, making me slightly uncomfortable. "So, where's Brian? I was kinda hoping to meet him," he smiled a little slyly.
"He had two tests today, so he's gonna be coming by a little later," Kyle told him.
"Oh man, that sucks," Jesse replied, "and you see, that's why I'm glad I don't gotta do college."
"Yeah," Kyle chuckled, "but wouldn't it be a little hard to explain to him how we all know each other? Especially considering that," he stopped, coughed a little, looking around, then continued quieter, "especially considering that he knows that Nate's dating a Jesse?"
"Well, do you trust him?"
"Well, yeah."
"So what's the problem?"
"Well c'mon, Jesse," I said, "isn't it still better to be cautious? I mean, he could always slip up and tell a friend who wouldn't mind making a quick buck from People magazine or something." We've had discussions like this a million times, him trying to be more carefree with his sexuality, me telling him that he really had to think about how it could affect him and his career.
He obviously didn't care. "Nate, I'm sure it'll be okay, we'll just tell him he has to be really careful. Besides, most gay or bi guys are pretty good at keeping secrets. They had to keep their own, after all."
"Okay," I said, conceding that I have to pick my battles, "fair enough," and I gave him a smile. After all, very few people he knows know he's bi, so he probably could use more people to talk to being completely himself.
"Thanks Natey," Jesse said, smiling back. "So Kyle," he said, turning to him, "how can I get some embarrassing stories Ôbout you outta this guy?"
"Uh uh, no way in hell you even trying that, man!" Kyle laughed. I was watching them talk back and forth, but all I was really thinking about was how much I wanted to just go and find a private couch somewhere and snuggle with Jesse, letting him hold me in his arms and just comfort me. I still couldn't believe that he was here, it was a little overwhelming, so much that my eyes were tearing up thinking about it.
I think Kyle noticed, because he glanced at me and said, "Well, I'm gonna go and find something to eat, assuming that they actually have some edible food in the cafeteria. You guys want anything?"
"No thanks," I said, "but hospital cafeteria food is actually usually pretty good!"
"Yeah? Okay, cool, now I better not be disappointed, or it'll be on your head. You coulda lemme be pleasantly surprised, but nooo, you had to get my hopes up, didn'cha?!
"Yeah, you know, I'm good like that, getting hopes up just in time to get them dashed to shreds."
He rolled his eyes at me, then turned to Jesse. "You want anything, Jess?"
"Hmmm..." he said, thinking, "actually, yeah, if they have any of those jumbo chocolate chip cookies, I'll take one of those."
"You know what," I said, "make that two." I could never turn down a chocolate chip cookie, they're one of my weaknesses.
"You got it, but I think I'ma eat down there, so it'll be a little while."
"No prob," I told him, "just call me when you come back so we know to expect you." Yeah, that was basically a giveaway for what we were doing, but whatever, he had to have known.
"K, sounds good," he said, and left.
I turned to Jesse, "So, you wanna go and find somewhere a little more private?"
"More than anything."
We found a little waiting room that didn't look like it was being used, so we closed the door and put a chair in front of it so that we wouldn't be disturbed. We weren't gonna do anything (that would be a little hard to cover up, Jesse McCartney being caught having sex with a guy), but we just wanted privacy so we could at least hold each other and cuddle without having to worry too much. Worse comes to worse, we could have just quickly jumped apart if someone came to the door.
Jesse led me to one of the corners of the room, then sat down against the wall and pulled me down so that I was leaning against his chest, him running his hands through my curls, twisting them gently around his fingers, like he likes to do. "Mmmm," I said, closing my eyes, "this is what I really needed all day."
"Yeahhhh," he replied, rubbing my abs slightly.
We lay like that for five or ten minutes, then I asked, "So how long have you been planning on coming out here?"
"Pretty much as soon as you left, and especially when you called and told me that Kirst needed to have the operation."
"Awwww, Jess! And you just told your recording guys that you were coming out here and they couldn't do anything about it?"
"Pretty much." I could hear the smile he had on his face. "Were you surprised?"
"You kidding me? Course I was!" I exclaimed, and turned my face up to his to give him a kiss. It started to get a little more passionate when my phone started ringing. "Of course," I sighed. I picked it up. "Hey Ky... okay, cool, thanks, we'll meet you there," and hung up. "That was Kyle," I told Jesse, "he's heading back to the waiting room, and he's got our cookies." Who'd have thought I'd be sad that someone was coming back with cookies with me.
"Man, I never thought I'd be upset to hear someone was bringing me a cookie," Jesse said.
I chuckled, "I was thinking that exact same thing!"
"We are too good."
"Almost, almost too good." I sighed, then pulled myself up, and turned around to pull up Jesse, and, after he made sure he put his hat and sunglasses back on, we headed back to the waiting room.
We got back to the waiting room and saw Kyle there sitting with Brian. "Look who I found," Kyle said when he saw us. Fortunately the visiting time to the recovery room was coming up, so it was rather loud and busy in there, so no one was paying attention to us or what we were saying.
"Hey Brian," I said, giving him a handshake.
"Hey man, how you doing?"
"I'm ok, you?"
"Ok, just a sucky situation."
"Yeahhh." I replied. I never know how to respond to things like that, so I was actually glad I had a way to change topics. "So, Brian, I wanna introduce you to someone. This here, in the flesh, is the mysterious Jesse," I told him, putting my hand on Jesse's shoulder.
"Hey man!" Brian said, shaking hand, "it's seriously about time we met, I've been hearing about you for ages but knew practically nothing about you. Just basically that you exist."
"Nice to meet you too, man," Jesse replied.
Then the now familiar look of slight recognition came over Brian's face. "Wait a sec, do I know you from somewhere? Wait a second, aren't you Jesse..." he said, getting louder.
"Shhhh," Kyle said, glancing around, "keep your voice down!"
"Wait, so you are?" he asked quietly, looking at all three of us wide eyed. He gave the look that I used to find funny, but was now getting a little tired of. I could only imagine how Jesse felt about it. "You're Jesse McCartney? THE Jesse McCartney? The singer?"
"Yup, that would be me."
"Whoa...damn, Ky, why didn't you tell me?" Kyle gave him a look. "Well, okay, fine, I guess I understand, but still... damn! This is a little nuts!"
"Yeah," I replied with a smile, "but you know, the less people that know, the better. It's not that we didn't trust you or anything, it's just that we didn't want to take the chance that anyone would slip up, so we only told a few people."
"Okay, no problem, but don't worry man, I got you, you don't gotta worry about me slipping up or anything," Brian said.
"Yeah we know, thanks Brian," I said.
"Yeah, thanks," Jesse added.
"No prob, guys."
We all sat down, chatting about various topics. Brian was trying to keep himself as composed as possible with Jesse, which was understandably a bit tough. He was doing a pretty good job of it, keeping up the conversation, but every so often I caught him just staring at Jesse with an awed look on his face. I guess he's not quite as cool as he lets on, I thought with a bit of a smirk.
After a while, Dr. Mason came in to talk to us. We got up to meet her. "Hi Nate, hi Kyle," she said, and nodded at Jesse and Brian. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come out to talk to you, I had another procedure right after Kirsten's that I had to get to."
"That's alright," I said, hearing Kyle say "No problem" at the same time.
"Well, it was a success, I'd say. There weren't any complications or anything of that sort. We're still running some tests on the biopsy, but it looks like we got all of the tumor. We froze her eggs, like I told you, so she'll at least have the option to have someone surrogate for her. Now, we're going to give her a few days to recover, and then we're going to start her chemotherapy. I've already gone in to discuss this with Kirsten, but considering that many people don't remember everything that happens in the recovery room, I'll be sure talk to her about it again tomorrow."
"Okay, I see," Kyle said, while I nodded.
"Great, so do you have any questions?"
"Um, yeah, I have one," I said. "How long is she going to have to be on chemo for?"
"Right now we're going to have her on for a week to two weeks, depending on how she's doing. Then we'll run a few more tests and see how she does."
"Okay, I see. And when will she be starting?"
"Well it all depends on how fast she recovers. She's young, in good health, and exercises regularly, which are all good signs for a speedier recovery. It will most likely be at least a week or two, though."
"Okay, thanks," I replied.
"Your welcome. Now if there aren't any more questions," she said, looking around at us while we shook our heads, "then I have to go and check on other patients. I'll be sure to check on Kirsten later, and tomorrow, and if any of you have any questions, you can always just call my office and leave a message with my secretaries, and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as I can." and she said goodbye and left.
We all went into visit Kirsten during the visiting time, which was the last one of the day. She was still pretty out of it. It scared me, but I guess it was better than being in pain. I spoke to her nurse to find out when she was going to be transferred to a room, and she said that it probably wasn't going to happen until that night, after visiting hours were over, so we could just go home. Kyle and I gave them our phone numbers, in case they had to reach us, we kissed Kirsten goodbye, telling her we'd see her when we visit the next day, and left.
None of us said anything as we walked away from the hospital all the way to where we had to split up. There wasn't much to say, after all. We all hugged goodbye, Brian hugging Jesse for a little longer than what would be considered normal, and then Kyle and Brian walked in the direction of Kyle's building. I noticed him holding Brian's hand, leaning his head against his shoulder as they walked away, and a feeling of jealousy and sadness swept over me, that I couldn't do the same thing with Jesse, that I couldn't shouw any affection in public for fear that someone might notice and ruin his career. No matter how much I needed it.
Jesse must have noticed some of the emotion on my face, because he gave me a concerned, questioning look. I just shook my head, and gave him a half smile. "I'm fine," I lied, trying to get rid of those bad feelings, "I'm just thinking about Kirsten."
"No prob, Nate, it's a tough situation. You're amazing for putting up with it as well as your are."
"Thanks Jess, and thanks for coming in. It's really amazing of you."
"Of course!" We smiled at each other, and walked back to my place, not exactly content with the situation, but happy that the man I love was with me.
When we got to my apartment, I noticed Jesse didn't have a bag. "Didn't you bring any clothes?"
"Nah, I didn't have enough time to pack before the flight, and I just figured I could always borrow some clothes from you.
"Oh you did, did you?"
"Mhm," he replied, flashing that adorable grin of his that makes my knees turn to jelly.
"C'mere," I said, pulling him toward me, planting my lips on his. I quickly made it more intense, pushing my tongue into his mouth, moving it all over it, rubbing my hands down his back to his butt. Jesse began to respond, moving his tongue to massage mine with it, the pulled away.
"Nate, are you sure you wanna do this? I mean, after today, I don't know, I figured you'd want to just relax, maybe cuddle a bit, you know?"
"Yes, Jesse," I replied in almost a pleading tone, "I'm sure. I need this. I just... I just can't think about any of that stuff anymore, I need to escape it," and I started kissing him again.
"Ok," I heard Jesse murmur into my lips. I grinned and began pushing him towards my bedroom, never letting my lips leave his unless it was to kiss around his face or neck.
I pulled his shirt off and kissed his shoulders as he unbuttoned my shirt and threw it on the floor. He started kissing my neck and shoulders, shoving his tongue into the crook of my neck, pushing me onto the bed and going on top of me. He began kissing down my chest, stopping to suck on and nibble on each nipple, then moved down my abs to my navel and shoving his tongue into it, making me moan and my toes curl. He licked and kissed as he unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, pulling them down along with my boxer-briefs, setting my rapidly hardening cock free.
He licked and kissed his way up it, getting to the head and licking all around it and into the slit like it was candy. Then he took it into his mouth, sucking hard and sending tingles throughout my body. He just sucked on the head for a few moments before slowly taking the entire shaft into his mouth, and then he began bobbing his head up and down, moving his tongue over my entire dick even while it was in his mouth, and it was driving me crazy. I looked down, seeing the passion in his face and the intensity in his eyes when he glanced up into mine, then closed my eyes and let my head fall back, becoming engulfed in the feelings flowing through our bodies.
After a few minutes I felt his mouth leave my cock and heard him open up the drawer in my nightstand. I opened my eyes and saw him pull out one of the condoms I kept there (just in case, of course, and begin to unwrap it, looking at my pulsing dick.
"Uh uh," I said, pulling him up. "It's your turn to try on this thing."
"You sure?" he asked, looking surprised.
"Yup," and I pulled him on to the bed and turned over him. I needed this, to be held, to completely give in to him, to not have to think about anything other than the feelings Jesse put through me. I tried not to let it show, but it must have come through on my face, because Jesse got a softer look on his and quickly went along with it.
I pulled down his loose jeans and boxer briefs (Scooby-doo ones, I noticed with a smile, with Scooby-doo's muzzle right at the crotch), and proceeded to intensely suck on his hard dick, getting it hard, feeling Jesse's hands move through my hair, mine massaging up and down his body and legs. When he began writhing in pleasure, I pulled off with a slight popping sound as my lips left his knob and released the suction.
I took the condom, unwrapped it, and slowly rolled it over his length, then positioned myself over him and lowered slowly down, feeling his fingers guiding his dick to my hole, and then gasped slightly when it pressed through and had to concentrate not to shoot my load just from feeling him enter me.
The look on his face as he pushed into me was indescribable. It was a look of complete and absolute pleasure, and when he looked into my eyes, it was with such passion that I have never seen before. He began pumping his hips up and down. It hurt slightly as first, but that passed quickly, and I began pushing myself up and down in his rhythm.
I leaned down to Jesse, kissing him passionately on his lips, and then he pulled himself to kiss me upright, all the while still pumping up and down. This was nothing like our first time. That was passionate, but still gentle, partly because it was Jesse's first time. This... this was pure animalistic, pure eroticism. We kissed furiously for a few moments, then I grabbed Jesse's shoulders and flipped us around, so that I was under him, never letting his cock leave my ass, and he shifted his legs to a better position, lifted mine to his shoulders, and continued to dive in and out of me. I closed my eyes at the waves of pleasure flowing through my body every time his dick passed my p-spot. His hand closed around my shaft, and he proceeded to jerk me in rhythm with his humping.
"Oh, shit," I moaned, "oh Jesse, you're amazing, jeez, unngh, jeez, keep going!"
"Oh yea," was all he was able to grunt in return. I ran my hands all over his sweaty chest, his tight abs, his arms, back, anywhere I could reach. I pulled myself up and pulled his tongue into my mouth, then began sucking on it, let it go and kissed around his face, then sucked on his tongue some more. His fucking increased in speed and I couldn't keep myself up anymore, letting myself fall back onto the mattress, not even able to form words, just grunting and moaning at the ecstasy running through my veins.
I began squeezing my butt with each thrust of Jesse's hips, making his head fall back and his eyes roll up in feeling. One of his hands began massaging my thighs, moving down my hips and abs and back up again. Just a gentle touch from him was enough to send tingles into my skin, but everything he was doing was just too much for me to handle anymore. I began muttering, "Oh Jesse, you're gonna make, oh man, I'm gonna, gonna, JESSE!" and I splattered shot after shot of cum all over my chest, abs, and even shoulders, and dribbled some more onto Jesse's hand. This just made Jesse hump me harder, while bringing his fingers to his mouth and licking up the seed that was on them.
He kept going, sending more blinding waves of indescribable feeling shooting from my dick to the rest of my body. Jesse's breathing became more haggard, his moaning got even louder, and then with a grunt, he pushed all the way into me, and I felt his dick twitch up and down, emptying his balls into the condom. With that, he collapsed on top of me, and I felt his shrinking penis leave my ass, and he kissed me.
"Omigod, Nate, that was... that was incredible. That was amazing!" I just nodded my agreement and gently kissed him a little more.
I felt him run his fingers through my hair, and I gently rubbed my fingers over his hand while he held me, happy to have someone to escape reality with, to comfort me, to just be there, and drifted off to sleep.
Well guys, after another long delay, you (finally) just finished another chapter of Jesse and Nate. Bout time, I know, but, as those of you that talk to me regularly (or as regularly as I can be online anyway) know, life has surprisingly been able to achieve a new level of hecticness in the past half-year. I'm hoping that the next chapter comes out sooner rather than later, though, because I pretty much know exactly what I want to happen in it, it's just a matter of getting it down. As I've said before, I really do enjoy writing and it's something I wish I had more time for, even outside of just the context of this story (that's right, you're actually making me think about trying my hand at writing an actual novel. Let's just see how much time, and skill, I have for that lol). I just want to let you all know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me over the past couple of years (has it been that long?); you got me to really have confidence in my writing and all of your tons of excellent feedback (and even the inevitable clamoring for a new chapter as soon as one comes out) has really been amazing. Yes, I know this sounds like I'm building up to say that I'm not continuing the story, but fear not, I most definitely am. Remember, I said that I have plans for where I want the story to go, and this isn't the end, not even close!
Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, I really appreciate your feedback, which you can email to JesseandNate@gmail.com or IM to JesseandNate on AIM. Also, the MSN group's still around, which you can find at groups.msn.com/JesseandNate. I also want to say I really appreciate all the feedback I've gotten, and the requests for a new chapter; like I've said, it's been pretty overwhelming, so thanks for that, you guys are awesome! (Also, the more you guys email me asking for a new chapter, the more it gets me to try and squeeze in time for writing whenever I can, so keep it up!)
As always, thanks for reading!