Jess' Story
Chapter 20, Part II From Paul's viewpoint
I could hardly believe it. Jess was asking me, "Should we just do it? Like now?"
Was this going to be the moment? No more waiting? Jess was offering to put a lifetime of pain and self-doubt behind me. Right now!
This was the biggest thing in my life. Years of loneliness, doubt, hiding, lying, feeling like shit about who and what I was. A faggot!
All I had to do was to say Yes and I could put an end to all that loneliness forever. It felt right in so many ways. Jess and I were in love. We knew we always would be. We had waited long enough to know the difference between love and lust. This was love. A very special love.
But we had already made plans for how our first time doing it together would be. Big plans for how we would commit to each other. I didn't want it to be just a moment of horniness. However it happened, it would be a moment I would remember for the rest of my life. My first time. My first time with Jess or anyone else. But most important . . . with Jess. I wanted it to be perfect.
At that moment I wanted him so badly. The time felt so right. We should go with the flow. We should live for the moment and enjoy life as it happened. Plans . . . Well, plans have had a way of disappointing me more often than not.
But . . . I hated being the one who had to decide. I hated having the decision fall to me. Particularly when I felt the way I did. I was so horny and . . . horny and . . . Oh my god, Jess' hard cock was pressing against my asshole. I could picture the bare tip of his cockhead against my virgin hole. Oh my god the feel of him pushing into me like that . . . I had spent so many hours reading about him and dreaming of just that moment when he first entered me. How could I say No?
I could hardly believe it was really happening. That what I had dreamed of for so long was so close. He could just do it. I could just do it. We . . . My body was so turned on by his touches. His kisses. His breath caressing my flesh.
I only knew what I had read and imagined about what sex with a boy would be like. Of course, I had dreamed about it endlessly. Jerked off thinking about it so many times that counting would be pointless.
But the feelings I was feeling were so much more intense than I had ever imagined. Our closeness at that moment was so real and physical and our bodies were pressed against each other. His flesh so . . . How was I supposed to answer Jess? What was the right thing to do?
All these questions swirled through my brain in a nano-second. But it seemed as though time had stopped the second Jess asked that question. "Should we just do it? Like now?"
His hard cock pushed against my puckered hole. My body was so ready to welcome him inside me that I could scream halleluiah.
But I couldn't answer. I couldn't speak. Hell, I could hardly think. My mind was so twisted in knots by all that was pushing and pulling at it. The best I could do was . . .
"What do you want to do?"
I could hear Jess sigh behind me. Kinda frustrated. Kinda unsure of how to answer. At least that's how it sounded to me.
"You should decide. Do you want to wait?" he asked.
"I don't know," I said.
After an awkward pause he suggested, "Maybe we should switch."
"Switch what?" I asked.
I was looking back at him over my shoulder and could see he had this big shit-eating grin on his face. Then he said with a touch of laughter, "Why don't you get behind me and hump my ass for a while." He kissed me. Open mouth. Lots of tongue. Hot! Like he was going to swallow me alive.
As we kissed I maneuvered myself so we were facing each other. Kissing. Touching. Sweating. Thrusting. That was all the convincing I needed.
When we finally came up for air, Jess stared into my eyes. He looked so happy. "I love you. Everything about you."
His words took my breath away. I literally had to just stop everything. Catch my breath. Calm my mind enough to say, "I know. It shows." I took a moment just to look at him. He was so incredibly handsome. More so than I had ever believed possible when he was just a character in one of my stories.
"You better roll over or I'm going to cum in these new pajamas," I said. We both laughed as he rolled over in my arms. His tight butt now nestling up against my aching cock.
All the humping or whatever you want to call it had my pajama bottoms all bunched up. My hard cock was trapped in a fold of silky fabric. It felt kind of good, but I wanted . . . no, I needed . . . I needed more freedom.
"Hang on a minute," I said to Jess as I broke away and pulled my new pajama bottoms off, tossing them aside.
Jess wasted no time in doing the same. Soon he was nestling his butt up against my throbbing cock once again. Only now we were naked. It felt as though we had just stripped off our last inhibitions.
I began slowly but firmly thrusting my cock up and down, much the same way Jess had been doing to me. Pressing it into his crack. I could feel him tighten and relax his ass muscles with each thrust until soon he had his firm ass cheeks wrapped around my cock.
I didn't know back then what it felt like to have your cock buried deep inside another boy. A boy you loved. I knew I wasn't really inside him, but still I'd never felt anything like this before.
I was kissing and biting Jess' neck. My left arm reaching over him, caressing his chest. Pinching his nipples. Touching his face. Letting him suck on my fingers.
We went on like that for several minutes until I thought I was losing control. I started to groan and moan as the familiar feelings of orgasm began to build in me.
"I can't believe there is anything better than this," I whispered into Jess' ear.
"Oh but there is," Jess said in such a gentle and knowing voice. "There is. I want you to cum inside me. We don't have to wait. We can do this any way we want. When we want. How we want. And I know I want you to make love to me tonight and every night for the rest of our lives."
I thought his words were going to tear me apart. Make me cry. It was me he was talking to. Me. Paul. Stupid faggot Paul. The guy who spent years jerking off in his bed alone dreaming of loving someone like Jess. Didn't Jess know it was just me? Not some incredible guy like he deserved and could easily have?
For a moment his words not only melted my heart, they stripped away who I was trying to become and left me that sad, lonely and hopeless boy I had been.
Picturing the person I had been for so long was painful. I wondered if Jess could see any part of that lonely kid in me as we balanced on the edge of making love. The very thought made me dizzy. Almost sick. Thinking of what it was going to mean if I said Yes lifted me up. But not enough.
Jess seemed to sense something was wrong. "Did I do . . ." He paused. The uncertainty in his voice so clear and unmistakable. "We don't have to do this tonight. I just thought . . ." His words trailed off.
I was shaking my head No as I mouthed that same word again and again.
"It's OK. We don't have to. It just seemed like you . . . you know."
Finally I gained a little composure and a sliver of my self-confidence to say, "I do. I just want to hold you for a minute. Would you hold me too?"
He rolled over in my arms and we embraced. There were tears in my eyes and I thought maybe Jess had a tear too. But maybe not.
We lay face to face until my heart stopped racing and breathing became easier . . . more natural . . . for me.
Then somehow I knew the answer. Only I could lift me up. Jess had shown me the way. Had invited me to join him. But only I could say Yes.
"Feel better?" Jess asked, again in that soft, caring voice.
"Yes . . . and yes," I said.
"What's the second yes for?" he asked.
"Yes, I want to make love to you. Cum in you. Deep inside of you. Like I've never cum before."
Hearing those words from my own lips excited me.
Jess rolled back over so that we were spooning again. My cock against his butt. My cock getting harder and harder as the words kept flowing from my lips . . . "I want to feel my hard cock buried in your warm hole. Pushing deeper. I want to show you how much you turn me on. How you make me want you so badly. How you make me feel. How you make me love you. Please, show me how."
He reached back and took hold of my penis. "We're gonna need to get lubed up for this," he said. Then he asked me, "You OK with that?" I nodded Yes and he reached over to the drawer in his bedside table. KY was never far away.
I remember as he rubbed that slippery gel on my throbbing cock, I started working more of it into his hole. It was so welcoming. So easy to slip my middle finger in. Then two fingers and then three.
He pushed his butt against my hand. Forcing my fingers deeper inside him. All the time stroking my cock with the lube.
"I think I'm ready if you are," he said. His head turned back to meet mine. His tongue slipped easily into my mouth and as we sucked each other's tongue. My cock . . . Oh fuck! I was pushing into him as we kissed. I could feel the tight muscles of his sphincter relaxing and the head of my cock begin to penetrate him. It felt like he was opening to me. To my penis.
All of my thoughts were focused on that point where our bodies met. Like my brain, my mind, my eyes, my soul were all right there, ready to penetrate . . .
"That's right," Jess said. "Now make love to me."
To Be Continued . . .
To Be Continued . . .
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The characters in this project are real. The names and some other identifying information in this story have been changed to conceal the identities of the characters described. The Copyright for this story is held by HardReader. The story may not be reprinted or distributed elsewhere in print, electronically or digitally without the permission of the author.
I would love to receive comments on this story from readers. Email me at hardreader2000@aol.com
While you're waiting for the next episode, I hope you'll stay happy. And stay hard! -- H.R.