Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
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If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
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I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I enjoy constructive criticism, praise, and rational discussion. I do not enjoy flames, and will not tolerate them.
Back to the story in progress.
Justin
As I walked down the sidewalk with Lance I began to think about this again, and I prayed this was the right thing to do. Lance was weak right now, but he was also doubting Howie. If I showed him Howie and Nick right now, this would work, but it would also hurt him very badly. There was nothing else we could do, though. I stopped in front of my bungalow, and we could already here the noises from inside, the moans and the yelling, and tears began to spill down Lance's cheeks. Suddenly I didn't want to do this, not to my friend. Maybe him hearing it, and me just telling him, would be enough.
"Lance, we don't have to do this," I said suddenly, watching him crumble in front of me. I wanted to help him, not destroy him. "We can go back to your cottage right now. You don't have to see this, Lance."
"Yes I do," he answered coldly, and when he looked up at me I could see something else in his eyes, some last shred of pride. Howie hadn't broken him yet, not the way I had before. Lance jerked open the front door and I followed him inside, my eyes darting around as I realized that they were in the bedroom. Lance walked slowly toward the door, barely lifting his feet, knowing what he would find.
"Harder!" I heard Nick moan. He was really throwing himself into this. I remembered that Howie was kind of quiet, and Nick could be a talker if you didn't tell him to shut up. "Fuck me, Howie! Fuck me! Harder!"
Howie was moaning in time to the bed squeaks, and Lance stood in the doorway of the bedroom, staring in and shaking his head as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. I walked close enough to be able to glimpse them over his shoulder, Howie on top of Nick's back in the bed, Nick grinning as Howie's hips drove forward, the two of them a sweaty tangle of arms and muscles and legs. Lance let out a sob, and both their heads jerked toward him, Howie's eyes bulging in surprise as Nick burst out laughing. I couldn't believe Nick could be so cruel, but his laughter rolled out of the bedroom toward Lance, who turned and began to stumble toward the door, a hand up at his eyes. Howie came flying out of the bedroom, grabbing Lance's arm. He didn't even seem to notice I was there.
"Lance! Lance, I," Howie began, looking panicked. Maybe he really did love Lance, in a way.
"I thought you loved me," Lance said quietly. Tears were still streaming down his face, but his voice was firm. "I trusted you. I thought you loved me."
"Lance, I," Howie began again, and then I saw his face twist as his voice dropped. "I thought I told you to stay home."
Howie's hand curled into a fist as Lance cringed against the wall, and I grabbed Howie's shoulder and spun him away, stepping between him and Lance. Howie glared at me as Nick stood casually in the bedroom doorway in his boxers, watching everything.
"What the fuck?" Howie snapped.
"Leave," I said simply, blocking Lance with my body. "Leave now, Howie. Pack everything and get out, and go to Lance's house and take all your shit from there, too. I know what you've been doing to him, Howie. Just go."
Howie glared at Lance behind me.
"Oh, so Justin's going to save you?" Howie sneered, his voice rising. Lance began to sob. "Nobody's ever going to want you, Lance. Nobody's ever going to love you like I do."
"Shut up!" I snapped.
"Here're your clothes," Nick said, handing Howie a bundle. Howie glared at him, realizing this was a set up, but Nick just patted Howie on the head. "You were great."
"I mean it, Howie," I said as Lance slid down the wall behind me, curling up into a ball on the floor. Nick stared at him distastefully. "Leave Lance alone. Just go."
"It's not too late, Lance," Howie said suddenly, the anger draining out of him, as his eyes began to water. I could see that there still was something there, something left from their early days, a little shred of the Howie that Lance fell in love with. "I still love you, Lance."
Lance looked up at Howie from the floor, his green eyes red around the edges, his face pained.
"Get out," Lance said quietly.
Howie turned, naked, carrying his clothes in a bundle in front of him, and walked out the door. Good thing it was dark out. He could pull his pants on out on the step. Nick closed the door behind him with a little wave, and I dropped down to the floor where Lance was huddled. He threw his arms around my shoulders, sobbing loudly now, racking, crushing sobs that made it hard for him to breathe. I slowly pulled him to his feet as he cried against my chest. Nick just stared at us, his mouth turned up a little at the corners.
"Lance, I'm gonna take you over to Joey's ok?" I asked. Lance nodded, unable to answer. "We'll take care of you, Lance."
"You're coming back after you drop him off, right?" Nick asked, stepping out of the way so we could get to the door. I stared at him, feeling anger and disgust well up inside me again. I couldn't believe that after he watched that, all he could think about was fucking me. "Don't worry. I'll wait up."
"Could you call Chris, and Josh, and tell them to meet us at Joey's?" I asked, my mouth dry. I didn't even want to think about coming back here. I didn't want Nick anywhere near me.
"Sure," he said, walking over to the phone. "Have a good time with the guys."
I could understand now how Howie could beat Lance. I wanted to pick up a chair and break it over Nick. Every time he spoke Lance just cried that much harder, and I realized that it wasn't the words. It was Nick's tone, so casual, as if this were just a minor inconvenience, a button popping off of a shirt. He stood there smugly in his boxers, looking perfect, a little flushed and sweaty, his prick pushing against the front of his shorts as he waited for his prize later. He saw me looking at him, and dropped a hand down to his crotch, grabbing it as he leered at me. I turned away, revolted by him, by the idea that someone could be so beautiful on the outside, and so dead inside. It would be like getting fucked by a corpse.
Lance was still sobbing as we knocked on Joey's door, and I kept an arm around his shoulders, telling him I was sorry as he just cried helplessly against me. I heard Chris and Vlada walking up the sidewalk behind us, Vlada's shoes tapping loudly and Chris scurrying along to keep up with her longer legs. Behind them, half shadowed in the lights down by the ground, I could see Josh and Jack holding hands, walking a little more slowly. I wondered if I'd woken them, as Jack had seemed pretty tired. Joey opened the door, looking a little annoyed, but it faded as soon as Lance grabbed him, wailing. Joey looked up at me over Lance's shoulder, his eyes wide and confused.
"Lance?" he asked, looking at me. I motioned toward the living room.
"We should probably go inside," I said sadly. "It's going to be a long night, I think."
Joey walked Lance over to a couch as Lance tried to catch his breath enough to speak, but now that he was away from Howie, and everything was starting to sink in, he was just getting more and more upset. I held the door for Chris and Vlada, and then for Josh and Jack. All four of them stood uncertainly in the living room, looking at Joey and Lance. Josh grabbed a box of tissues off of the coffee table and sat down on Lance's other side, handing them to him one by one as Chris went to Joey's refrigerator for some water. Vlada sat down in one of the chairs, waiting to see what was going on, since no one seemed to know, and Jack walked over to me. He looked a little better, but his hair was messy, so I figured that I was right earlier when I thought I woke them. He and Josh didn't have that blissful post sex look.
"Justin, what's going on?" Jack asked, and everyone else glanced at me as well, except for Lance, who kept sobbing against Joey's chest. "We got this phone call from Nick that said to come meet you and Lance over here."
"What did you do to him?" Joey asked angrily.
"Nothing!" I said, holding up my hands. "Nothing! Lance?"
Lance looked up, blotting at his eyes with tissues as everyone else looked on anxiously.
"Not, not Justin," he sobbed. "Howie, Howie, and, Nick, they."
"Lance, calm down," Josh said, rubbing his shoulder. He must have gotten really good at consoling the hysterical over the past few weeks. "Calm down and take a deep breath. You're ok here, Lance. You're with us."
"Vere ees Howvie?" Vlada asked, looking around.
"Good question," Jack said, nodding at her. "Justin? Lance?"
I looked at Lance, whose face was crumpling up again as he thought about what he'd just seen. I walked over and took his hand.
"Lance, do you want to tell them?" I asked quietly, and he shook his head. "Do you want me to tell them?"
Lance nodded, so I turned to the others as Lance squeezed my hand.
"Howie's been cheating on Lance with Nick," I said bluntly. "And Lance walked in on them."
This brought forth a fresh burst of sobbing from Lance as he crushed himself against Joey again, and everyone else looked around uncomfortably. Suddenly Lance found his voice, wailing tearfully.
"I thought he loved me!" Lance sobbed. Jack walked over to Josh and put a hand on Josh's shoulder, and Josh reached up and took it, looking pained. "I thought he loved me, but he, he was with Nick, and they, they."
"It's ok, Lance," Joey said, hugging him. Josh had his other hand on Lance's shoulder, and Chris, Jack, and Vlada watched as I leaned on the wall.
"Justin, where the hell is Nick?" Jack snapped. Chris nodded.
"Don't get mad at Nick," I said, even though I would like nothing better than for everyone to run him right out of the resort. It would keep me from having to touch him.
"Why the fuck not?" Chris asked. "You know, Justin, you just know that Howie didn't go after him."
"Howie hates him," Jack said, looking confused. "None of this makes any sense."
I swallowed, knowing this wasn't going to go well.
"I have to tell you guys something," I said quietly, and they all looked up at me, even Lance. "Chris is sort of right. Nick went after Howie, but he, um, he had a reason. He went after Howie because I asked him to."
Dead silence greeted this. Everyone stared at me, mouths dropping open. I saw Joey getting mad and Chris just looking surprised. Josh squeezed Jack's hand, tears jumping into his eyes, as Jack shook his head at me, as if he couldn't believe it. Vlada watched impassively, one eyebrow arched in curiosity, and Lance looked at me as if I'd just stabbed him.
"What the fuck did you just say?" Joey snapped, standing.
"Oh, Justin," Josh said, looking down. He sounded so hurt, too.
"Justin, I think you need to explain yourself, right now," Jack said quietly, and I could see that even he was pissed.
"I asked Nick to seduce Howie, and he did it, because, you know, Nick's like that," I said, shrugging.
"Nick's like that?" Joey asked, stepping toward me. "Nick? What about you?"
"I had to get Howie and Lance to break up," I said, backing up. Everyone was looking at me, and I realized I was starting to whine a little. "Guys, I know it sounds bad, but if you just let me explain."
"Explain. Now," Chris said, crossing his arms. I remembered what he'd said before, about me proving him wrong, and I realized I'd hurt him again, too.
"I couldn't think of any other way to break them up," I said. "I knew that Lance wouldn't ever break up with Howie on his own, so I had to do something to prove to him that Howie didn't love him."
"Why?" Jack asked. Lance just looked down. I hoped that at least he was thankful for what I'd done.
"Lance?" I asked. Everyone looked back at him, and he shook his head. "Lance, please. Everyone's mad at me, Lance. Please make them understand."
"Justin, I can't," Lance said quietly, shaking his head. "I can't tell them that."
"Yes you can," I said, walking over and kneeling in front of him. "Lance, you're so strong, stronger than you think you are. Tell them. We all want to help."
Everyone was watching me, watching the dynamic in the room shift again.
"How could you do this to me?" Lance asked me, not meeting my eyes. "How could you hurt me like this?"
"I did this for you!" I insisted. "Lance, I did this for you, to help you! Tell them! Please."
"Stop badgering him!" Joey snapped, grabbing my shoulder. He jerked me away as Lance buried his face in his hands.
"Lance, tell them," I begged again. "Lance, I'm your friend."
"Shut up! Leave him alone!" Joey yelled, right up in my face. Spittle flew from his mouth at me, and I flinched. "You're his friend? You don't know what a friend is, Justin! Friends don't do this to each other! Friends don't hurt each other over and over again! We trusted you! We believed you! We thought you'd changed, and we welcomed you back! We watched you move in on JC, and we didn't say anything, because he swore you were different, and so did Lance, and you haven't changed at all!"
Joey slammed me against the wall, and suddenly Chris and Jack were there, grabbing his arms.
"Let him go, Joey, you're gonna hurt him," Chris said.
"Joey, it wasn't like that," Jack began. Joey sneered at him.
"You don't know what it was like, Jack," Joey snapped. "You weren't there, and I'm sure JC told you a nice story about them just getting closer naturally, but I saw, Jack, I watched. Justin didn't even wait for your spot in the bed to get cold."
"Joey, stop it now," Josh said, grabbing Jack as he shrank back from Joey, his eyes ticking back over to me. Jack clung to him, looking pale. "What went on between me and Justin is settled between the three of us. It isn't your place to get pissed at Justin over it now."
"Joey, I did this for Lance," I said again. Lance continued sobbing into his hands as Vlada, the only one still seated, handed him tissues.
"Stop saying that!" Joey yelled. "All you've ever done for Lance is hurt him! He's my friend, Justin, my best friend, and I'm not letting you fuck him up again! Do you hear me, Justin? We told you if you ever pulled anything like this again you were done! Done!"
"Stop it!" Lance burst, and everyone turned. "Howie hurt me."
"Because of Justin," Joey said, but Lance shook his head.
"No, before tonight," Lance said, starting to cry again. Joey backed away from me a little, and Jack walked over, touching Lance's shoulder. "Howie, he gets mad, sometimes, and, it's my fault he gets mad, and he, sometimes."
"No, oh no," Jack said, holding his hand over his mouth. I watched his face. Jack knew, before anyone else here he figured it out. Everyone else just looked stunned, putting it together. "No, Lance, I asked you about that."
"I lied," Lance said, crying harder now. He reached out, grabbing Jack, and I remembered the bond they shared. Jack had helped him last time I hurt him. "Jack, I'm sorry, I lied to you. I'm sorry."
"Lance, it's ok," Jack whispered, holding Lance tightly. Josh put a hand on Jack's shoulder, and Jack glanced up at him, drawing his support. I saw that Jack was crying, which meant Josh was, too.
"Sometimes Howie hits me," Lance said quietly.
"Where is he?" Chris snapped, stalking toward the door. Joey moved to join him. "I'll fucking kill him."
"No!" Lance cried, freezing him.
"He left," I answered. "I told him to leave."
"Just let him go, please," Lance said. He began to cry again, and Jack hugged him tight.
"Just let it out, Lance," Jack sighed. "Let it all out. We're here for you, we're all here for you."
"I vill call for zome rum zervice," Vlada said, reaching for the phone.
Everyone huddled around Lance now, hugging him, and I walked over, too. Everyone glanced up at me. Joey's face was hard, and Chris didn't look too pleased, either. Josh just looked sad, and Jack was focused on Lance, building up quite a pile of tissues in front of them on the coffee table. I didn't understand why everyone looked so angry. Now they knew why I'd done it, they knew I'd just been helping.
"Guys?" I asked. "Everything's ok now, right? I mean, not ok, but, you know. You're not mad at me anymore, right?"
"Wrong," Joey said. "You knew about this, and you didn't tell any of us. You let Lance get hurt, and the best you could do to help him was to hurt him, too? And you expect us to just smile and tell you it's ok? It's not ok, Justin."
"But, but I was helping," I said. "I couldn't tell you, because you were all so mad at me, and Josh and Jack were stressed out about the wedding, and I didn't want you to think I was just making trouble. I was, I was afraid of pushing Lance closer to Howie, so I came up with this plan, and I helped Lance. I don't understand."
"That's part of the problem," Joey said. No one else said anything. "You'll never understand, because you'll never really change. I think you should leave, Justin."
"But I was helping," I said.
"You've helped enough," Joey said. "Just go. We'll deal with you tomorrow."
Again, nobody said anything. I looked at them, going from face to face, but they all looked at the floor, or their hands, or each other. No one would meet my eyes, and I felt like an outsider suddenly. I felt like I had the last time everyone was mad at me, the last time I had hurt Lance, and I wondered if they might be right. Maybe there had been a better way. Maybe I should have told them, no matter how mad at me they were. Josh looked up at me, getting up and walking over, and I felt myself dying inside with every step closer he came to me.
Josh had that look in his eyes again, that look of disappointment. It was the look I could never tolerate, the look that broke me. His blue eyes were filled with disappointment, sad disappointment, and when he looked at me his whole face telegraphed it. I wanted to look away, wanted to not see this, but there was no way not to. Josh looked tired, and worn out, and he looked like he didn't know me. He wasn't looking at me like he thought I was special. He was looking at me like you might look at a total stranger on the street, someone you had no feelings for at all. I would have been ok if he was angry, or screaming. I would even have been ok if he hit me, or if he was crying, or anything, anything but this quiet detachment. Josh put a hand on my shoulder and turned me to the door.
"Josh, please, I was trying to help," I said, feeling my eyes sting as tears welled up in them. "I know it wasn't the best idea, but I couldn't think of anything else. Please, I just wanted to help Lance."
"Justin, I don't even know what to say to you," Josh said. "I thought you changed. I thought you were different, but Justin, I feel like I don't know you at all. This wasn't the way to help Lance, and I don't think I can talk to you right now about this. I don't think anyone else can, either."
"I'll go, then," I said, swallowing, trying to ignore the tears trickling down my own cheeks. "I just wanted to help."
"I know, Justin," Josh said. "But I don't know if you did."
I walked out of the cottage, noticing that no one said goodnight to me. I had helped Lance, but I'd been right about the plan. It was completely the wrong thing to do. It didn't matter that it broke up Lance and Howie. Joey and Josh were right. What I had done was completely wrong. They had thought I had changed, but I thought I had, too, and I realized I hadn't changed at all. Even when I thought I was doing a good thing, I still just hurt people. As I walked back to my cottage, I realized that Josh was right to be disappointed in me. I was disappointed in myself. I pushed open the door, noticing how dark it was, and then closed it behind me.
"Finally," Nick sighed, switching on a lamp. He sat in a chair in his boxers, waiting for me, several empty beer bottles sitting next to him. "I've been waiting for my prize, Justin, and look, here it is."
"Nick, look," I began, as he stood, and walked toward me.
"I've been waiting right here, thinking about you," Nick said, running his hand along my jawline. I flinched away, but he dropped it to my chest, rubbing my pec with the back of his fingers. His breath smelled like an old keg, sour and alcoholic. "I've been thinking about the things I'm going to do to you. Come on, Justin. Let's go to the bedroom."
"No," I said, shaking my head.
"Excuse me?" Nick asked, running his hand up and down my chest. "Justin, I did what you wanted. Now it's your turn to do what I want, and I want you naked on that bed."
I pulled away from him, stepping out of the cloud of beer fumes.
"Nick, we hurt Lance," I said, staring at him. "We hurt Lance, and Howie, too. How can you not feel bad about that?"
"I told you, Justin," Nick said, his voice tight. "I don't feel bad about anything. I don't let myself. Now, I did what you wanted, and I'm not a fucking charity, ok? Get in the bedroom."
"Nick, I don't want to do this anymore," I said, shaking my head. "I don't want to do it now, or ever. I'm sorry. I can't do that with you. I don't want to. I didn't mean to lead you on, Nick, but I just, I can't do this."
"You better feel like doing it real soon," Nick said, grabbing his crotch. "Because I'm ready to go."
"Nick, look, too many people have been hurt already," I said, shaking my head. "Josh won't talk to me, all my friends are mad at me, and I don't want to fuck things up between us, too. Please, Nick, we're friends. Let's just leave it at that."
Nick sneered.
"I know what this is about, Justin," he said.
"What?" I asked. What else could it be about? I'd just told him.
"You still think you're better than me," Nick said harshly. "You still think that your reasons are so fucking noble, and that what you're doing is for such a good reason, that it means what you do is ok. Well you know what, Justin? You're not. You're just like me, and you're too fucking proud to admit it. The shit I've done isn't any worse than the shit you've done, but somehow it's ok when you do it, because, you know, it's you. You wanted to help Lance? No. You wanted to save him. You wanted to help yourself, and the only way you could help him was with sex, because that's all you have and all you are. That's all that people want from you, Justin, and you know it."
"Shut up," I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes again.
"Why?" Nick asked, stepping toward me. He was pissed, his chest heaving, his face turning red. "Will it make it less true? You're a whore, Justin, just like me. That's all you have, and all you are. Now swallow your tears and get in there on that fucking bed."
"No," I said, shaking my head. I was more than that, damn it. Maybe before I would have believed that, maybe before I would have just said that all I had was my body and it was ok to use it to get what I wanted, but not now. I was a better person than Nick. "I'm not like you."
"You're just like me," Nick countered.
"Fuck you," I said, turning away, not wanting to cry in front of him, but unable to stop myself. I heard Nick behind me, his voice low.
"No," he said, moving quickly. "Fuck you."
Nick tackled me from behind, slamming me to the floor. I bucked, trying to throw him off, but he was bigger than me, more muscular, and he weighed more.
"Get off of me!" I yelled, trying to roll.
"It doesn't have to be like this, Justin," Nick said, grabbing my arms. I twisted, struggling against him, but couldn't get free. He caught my wrists in one of his hands and pulled them up above my head, and I began to get scared.
"Nick! Nick, please!" I pleaded, struggling. I felt his other hand snaking underneath us, fighting at the button of my shorts. "Nick, don't!"
"I'm just taking what's mine, Justin," he said, crushing me beneath him. Tears were streaming down my face now. I tried to squeeze my legs together, but his knees were between mine, pushing them apart, and I felt him jerking my shorts and briefs down. "After all, you promised."
His breath was hot on my neck, stinking of beer, and I struggled beneath him, but he kept me pinned to the floor. I never realized he was so strong, so heavy, and I felt myself panicking beneath him. My arms flexed, trying to pull away, but he had my wrists caught painfully, his fingers digging into the flesh. His chest pressed into my back, and I felt his cock brush my ass.
"No!" I screamed, throwing myself up under him. He slipped a little, but stayed on, crushing me back down to the floor. "Nick, no! Please!"
"I've been waiting for this," he whispered, and I could hear the grin in his voice.
I tried to hold him out, tried to squeeze myself closed, as I felt his prick pushing against me. He leaned forward, biting my shoulder hard, and I felt him push. Pain shot through me, blinding pain, and I felt something tear. I tried to scream, but he had his free hand over my mouth. I shrieked against it anyway, but no one could hear me.
To be continued.