Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
-
If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
-
I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "writerboy69@hotmail.com". I've been happy to hear from everyone who wrote to ask questions or say how much they liked this so far, and I wanted to say Thank You to everyone who's written.
And now, back to our story in progress.
We spilled through the entrance to the parking area, practically falling over each other, but I trailed back a little, already knowing what we'd find. I knew, before we got through the tiny ten steps of hallway that we'd find Josh, and he'd be dead.
Dead.
And it would be my fault.
"Shit!" Britney screeched.
"My Jeep!" Chris blurted.
"Hurry!" Justin yelled again.
"Oh, shit!" Lance added.
When I came through the archway, I couldn't add anything. I couldn't say anything. My feet kept moving, pulling me forward, but my mind was frozen.
Josh had apparently been trying to park next to Chris's Jeep, but had taken the turn too fast and too wide. The passenger side of the Jag was crumpled into the back of the Jeep, kind of mashed against it but also pushed beneath it. Chris's car alarm was still blaring, and it was mixed with the unwavering klaxon of the horn, a sound that could only mean that Josh was pressed against the steering wheel. I couldn't see, though, because everyone else was crowded around the driver's door of the Jag.
"It's locked!" Justin yelled. He began to hit the window. "I can't get in!"
"Chris, shut off your car alarm!" Lance said.
Chris shut off the alarm almost absently, thumbing his key chain while trying Josh's door handle as well.
"Is Josh," I began, walking toward the car, my feet suddenly dragging. "Is he.?"
"Look, he's moving!" Brit screeched again. The noise of the horn cut off abruptly, and the parking lot was suddenly quiet.
"He's rolling the window down," Lance reported to me, trying to peer over the shoulders of the other three.
"Josh?" Justin asked.
"Fuck off," Josh slurred from inside the car.
"He's drunk," Chris sighed, shaking his head. "The fucking press."
"We can cover this," Lance said quickly. "We have to get him out of the car, and we have to make sure he's ok."
"Josh, are you ok?" Brit asked, trying to reach inside to unlock his door. I heard a loud smack, and Britney jumped back, holding her hand. "Ow!"
"Josh, it's Curly," Justin said. "You hit Chris's car, and you smell like a fucking brewery. We need to make sure you're ok, Josh."
"No," Josh said, holding his face in his hands. "I don't care."
Everyone stopped as Josh began to sob. I still couldn't see him, blocked by everyone's backs, and I couldn't walk any closer to the car, knowing it was my fault he was in there, not knowing if he was hurt.
"I fucked up," Josh sobbed, his voice breaking. "I fucked up with you, I fucked up Chris's car, I fucked up the group, and I fucked up with Jack. Just go away. Just go away and leave me alone."
Chris and Lance turned to me, while Britney continued cradling her wounded hand.
"Josh, I. I'm right here," I said, stepping forward as Chris and Lance slid aside. "Josh, we need to make sure you're not hurt."
"Jack?" Josh asked.
I could finally see his face, tear streaked, but his eyes were open wide, shining up at me. The look on his face was one of surprise and elation, pure joy. He hastily fumbled the door open, and started to climb out of the car, but his feet got tangled up somehow, and he started to fall. Justin grabbed his arm, but he pushed it away and staggered toward me as I walked quickly toward him, my arms out. He tripped and fell against me.
Josh collapsed into my arms, folding his around me as his head flopped onto my shoulder. Justin was right; Josh did smell like a brewery, but I didn't care. The two of us just held onto each other, sobbing, clutching onto our life rafts. The others kind of looked away.
"Jack," Josh whispered, sobbing against me. "You came back."
"Justin brought me," I explained, cradling him. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?"
"I'm ok now," he answered.
"I'm gonna go call a doctor," Lance said. "Someone discreet who can come out and look at Josh and keep this quiet."
"Good idea," Chris said. "We'll take him upstairs, right, Jack?"
"Yeah, that's fine," I said, not making any effort to move.
"Justin, park the Jag," Lance said. "We can send the cars in separately for repairs, and pay for it ourselves instead of calling the insurance companies, so we won't have to report the accident."
Chris had told me that Lance was the practical one out of all of them, and that he was the one who always thought of the group as a business as well as a family. I realized now that it was true. Watching him dole out orders, it was almost like he had a checklist in his head, and was running a mental pencil down it.
"Brit, when they get upstairs I want you to start making coffee while Jack and Chris get Josh into bed, so we can try to sober him up," Lance said, as Justin started the car. "Jack, don't let him fall asleep until the doctor can look at him. I'll be up in a minute."
"OK," I said, still just holding Josh.
Lance ran through the archway to his apartment. Justin was trying to back the Jag up, but it was hung up on the Jeep, and Chris and Brit began pushing on it, trying to get it unhooked. They were making so much noise that we almost missed the sound of the gate opening. I started trying to pull Josh toward the archway, but he didn't really feel like moving, and began to struggle weakly against me.
"Chris!" I hissed. "Chris, someone's coming!"
"Shit!" Chris yelped, pounding the hood of the Jag with his hand. The car suddenly lurched backward, and Justin began maneuvering it into the parking spot as Brit and Chris ran over to me.
"Is it the manager lady?" Brit asked, squinting at the headlights pointed toward us. We heard a car door slam.
"No, she's at yoga," Chris answered.
"Chris, help me!" I said, still fighting Josh toward the archway.
"What if it's the cops?" Brit hissed. The neighbors might have called them.
"Brit, go find out who it is and stall them!" Chris whispered harshly, grabbing Josh's other arm.
Brit grabbed the bottom of her shirt, tugging it down so that her cleavage was front and center. I guess she was hoping it would be a male officer, and I admired her use of feminine wiles, praying it wouldn't be a gay guy or a straight girl.
"Hi, I'm Britney Spears," Brit called cheerily. "Can I help you?"
"Josh! Come on!" I whispered. Chris and I were practically dragging him as he giggled.
"JC, this isn't a fucking game!" Chris snapped. "Pick up your fucking feet!"
Josh lifted his head, opened his mouth, and spewed a foul smelling stream of vomit onto the parking lot. Justin, who had been running over to help us, jumped back.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" we heard from behind us.
Josh continued vomiting, and Justin seemed unsure of what to do, other than to step back again. Chris paused, and looked toward the headlights, which were now backing out of the driveway. We could see Brit, and a large silhouette.
"Joey?" Chris asked.
"Yeah," he answered. "What the hell is going on?"
"Josh is sick," Brit began, as Josh wretched again onto the ground. The vomiting seemed to take a lot of the fight out of him, and I began to pull him along. "He's drunk."
"Chris, help me!" I said, spurring Chris into moving again.
"Sorry," he said.
"Nobody picked me up at the airport," Joey said, taking the whole scene in. "Who are you?"
"That's Jack, Josh's boyfriend," Brit answered. Joey raised an eyebrow.
"Justin, see if there's blood in there," I said, pointing at the vomit as we passed it.
"What happened to Josh and Chris's cars?" Joey asked, staring at them.
"Josh ran into Chris's Jeep," Britney explained, taking one of Joey's suitcases.
Lance appeared in the archway.
"Doctor's on his way," he reported. "Joey!"
"Hey!" Joey said. It was the first his tone of voice had changed since he got out of the cab. "What happened to your nose?"
"Justin broke it," Britney said, as Chris said, "Tennis accident."
Joey looked from Brit to Chris and back again.
"Brit, go with Joey to his apartment, and bring him up to speed," Lance instructed. "I'm going to wait here to let the doctor in. You guys, get Josh upstairs and into bed."
"Nice meeting you," Joey called to my back.
"Is he always like that?" I asked.
"He's pretty mellow," Chris answered.
We got Josh upstairs and into the apartment, and laid him down on the bed. Chris brought a garbage can and a wet washcloth from the bathroom, and I wiped off Josh's face, keeping the can nearby, as Chris untied his shoes. I heard Justin in the kitchen, fighting with the coffee machine. Josh kept his eyes open and fixed on me throughout this whole ordeal, as if afraid I might vanish if he closed them, or looked away.
"You came back," he whispered. "You came back."
"Yeah," I answered, smiling. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Yeah, I came back."
Chris pulled the chair out of the corner, and I sat, holding Josh's hand, while we waited for the doctor. As the minutes ticked by, I heard the others filtering in, and then Britney leaned in with a plate of cookies.
"Thanks, Brit," I said, taking one.
"Coffee's almost done," she said, leaving quickly.
"Thanks, Brit," I said again.
The doctor finally arrived, checking Josh over. He asked if I could step out, but Josh refused to let go of my hand, so I stayed. The others waited in the living room anxiously, and when the doctor finished he again asked if I would step out, and join him there.
"No, Jack!" Josh said, squeezing my hand.
"Josh, I won't leave, I promise," I said, standing. "Josh, I promise. I'm only going to the living room."
"Promise?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine. "Promise?"
"I promise, Josh," I said, kissing his forehead. I didn't give a damn what the doctor thought.
The two of us stepped into the living room, pulling the bedroom door shut behind us, and everyone immediately stopped talking. They turned toward us expectantly, and I realized that nothing that had happened over the last few days could really break what they had. Nothing could ever really come between them, because they had a bond of love, and trust, and actual, true brotherhood. And when Chris took my arm and led me to the couch I realized that I was now part of the family.
"Your friend is going to be fine," the doctor said. The room breathed a sigh of relief. "He's intoxicated, as I'm sure you know, but he should sleep that off pretty well, as the vomiting appears to have purged a lot of the alcohol from his system. He has minor burns from the airbag, but I've left the names of some ointments that should treat that fairly quickly as well. He doesn't appear to have a concussion, and I discussed the symptoms of one with Jack here, so if he starts to show any, I want you to bring him in. Otherwise, I suggest you all get a good night's sleep."
"Thank you," I said. The others echoed it.
After the doctor left, everyone stood, and then Chris came over and gave me a hug. I hugged him back, hard.
"I'll be downstairs if you need me," he said. "Or, you know, a cigarette."
"Thank you, Chris," I said, smiling.
"You guys'll get through this," he said.
"I know," I answered.
Chris stepped toward the door, and Lance appeared in front of me, holding out his hand. I shook it, but he didn't let go.
"You know how I feel," he said, looking down. "But Jack, I, um."
"It's ok, Lance," I said, squeezing his hand.
"Make him happy," Lance said quickly, still looking away.
He pulled his hand out of mine and fled out the door as the others looked on in stunned silence.
"Wow," Chris said.
Yeah, that summed it up.
Joey grabbed me, and scooped me into a bear hug. I thought I heard my ribs snapping.
"Welcome to the family!" he said, squeezing again. "Go make our Josh happy!"
"Thanks," I wheezed.
Joey and Chris left, laughing with each other about something else, and it was just me, Justin, and Britney in the living room. Britney gave me a quick hug.
"Good night, Jack," she said.
"Good night," I said, hugging her back before she stepped away.
Justin folded me against him. I marveled again at how deeply he'd fooled me into thinking he was just a pretty face, and wondered if Brit saw past it, ever. Then again, that wasn't mine to know.
"Brit and I have some talking to do," Justin said, holding me against him.
"I know," I said. "Thanks for coming to get me, and for keeping me from making the biggest mistake of my life."
"You'd have done the same for me," he said, finally letting go.
"Yeah, probably," I answered, smiling.
"Probably my ass," he said. He took Britney's hand, but then turned back to me. "When Josh is up in the morning, tell him I need to talk to him, too."
"I will," I said, standing in the door as they walked over to Justin's. "Good night, guys."
"Night," they both answered.
I shut the door, shut off the lights, and stepped into the bedroom.
"Jack?" Josh asked softly. I couldn't believe he was still up.
"Right here," I answered, stripping down out of my clothes.
While I was taking off my pants I felt the necklace Josh had given me in the pocket, and I pulled it out. Justin had been right after all. I hadn't really wanted to throw it away. I fastened it back around my neck, and then went over to the bed and helped Josh get undressed, stripping him down to his boxer briefs. We slid under the covers, and he spooned back against me.
"Jack," he began, whispering. "I almost lost you."
"I almost lost you, too," I whispered back. "We'll talk about it in the morning."
"I love you," Josh whispered.
"I love you, too," I answered.
In the morning, I woke up first, and lay on my pillow, watching Josh, listening to him breath. His face was a mask of peaceful repose. His eyes danced behind his lids, but I could see them in my head, wide, blue, hopeful. I followed the strong line of his nose with my eyes, and the soft curve of his lips. I looked down the smooth line of his neck, and over the rounded curve of his shoulder as he lay facing me, breathing deeply, his powerful chest rising and falling with soothing regularity.
I shifted on the bed a little, and his arm flung out toward me, grabbing my chest, as his eyes popped open.
"Good morning," I said.
"Good morning," he replied, snuggling close to me.
He laid his head on my chest, and I stroked the hair on the back of his head with one hand while he ran lazy circles around my nipple with one of his.
"Josh, there's something I didn't tell you," I said. "And I need to, so you'll understand why I ran yesterday."
"You can tell me anything," he said.
"I only had one boyfriend in college," I began, closing my eyes. "He wasn't out to anybody, and I was out to everybody, and I kept pressuring him to tell his family, and be proud of who he was. I told you I was pretty vocal for a while there, and this was during that time."
He waited for me to continue, kissing my chest.
"He finally told his family, and they stopped talking to him," I continued. "Disowned him, told him not to come home, pulled the whole 'I have no son' deal, and I told him that it didn't matter, because I'd be his family. He was on the baseball team, and when he told them, they kind of harassed him into quitting, and the coach looked the other way. I told him it didn't matter, because he still had me, and he told me he didn't care."
"Jack, you never pressured me to tell anybody," Josh interrupted.
"I know," I said. "This is why. He said he was ok with it, and that he didn't care, but he lied, Josh. He did care, and it ate away at him. He dwelled on it all the time, and it affected his personality, and his school work, and his mood. Finally, it affected him and me. He started to resent me, and to blame me for what happened. He kept saying I pushed him to it, and I ruined his life. Eventually, we broke it off, and it wasn't a good breakup."
"Oh, Jack," Josh sighed, suddenly realizing where this was going.
"When you said what you said yesterday, it was like the whole thing all over again," I said. "All I could think of was that I'd go through the whole thing all over again with you, and that I'd opened my heart up to you, and in the end I'd still be alone, and I couldn't do that again. I couldn't. I couldn't fight for us, so when you said it, I just decided to leave."
"Jack, I'm sorry," Josh sighed again. "I didn't tell you something, too."
"You don't have to tell me now," I said. "You don't have to tell me ever, if you don't want to."
"I do want to," he said. "I told you that I was working a lot of stuff out during that year after we met, when I didn't call you, and that was almost true. I didn't tell you that one of the things I was working out was how I felt about Justin."
I waited, the same as he had done for me, stroking his hair.
"I've been friends with Justin for years," Josh said. "You know that. And Justin and I have always been really, really tight. When I slept with you, and I stopped lying to myself, I realized that I was in love with Justin, and I always had been. I started to think about it more, and more, and soon it was all I could think about. We got closer and closer, because all I ever wanted was more Justin, and he thought it was great. We were best buddies."
Josh sighed, swallowed, and then continued.
"I had it all built up in my head that I should tell him," Josh said. "I had this dream that I'd tell him I wanted him, and suddenly he'd want me, too, and we'd just be happily ever after. I worked out this whole plan, with dinner and everything, where I'd tell him, and when it rolled around everything seemed to be going right along. We got to the point where we needed to talk, but before I could say anything Justin started explaining to me how he'd decided to finally get together with Brit in a real, permanent way, and how he thought he might marry her. And I listened to him, and watched his face light up, and I realized Justin just wasn't for me."
I waited for him to continue.
"And then I thought about you," he said. "And I thought that maybe it was you I should have been thinking about all along. And for a while, it seemed like it was. Then, the other night, with Justin, everything came back to me. On the one hand, I suddenly felt like maybe I should push you away, because Justin had finally come around, and he and I could be together. And on the other hand, I was resentful, because I thought that Justin's only reason was because of you, and it was you he wanted, and I thought you wanted him, too. That's why I said all that to you, but then, when I said it, and I saw your face, and saw you running up the stairs, I realized it wasn't Justin I wanted anymore, and I didn't care how he felt about me."
Josh slid up my chest, and pressed his lips to mine.
"I only wanted you," he said. "I love you, Jack."
"I love you, too, Josh," I answered, kissing him again.
We snuggled against each other, just kissing and holding on.
"I had a strange dream last night, too," Josh said, staring into my eyes.
"Did you?" I asked.
"Yeah," he answered. "I dreamed that none of this was real. I dreamed that this was all just a story, like a movie or something. You weren't a real person, and I wasn't really me, and none of this had happened."
"That is a strange dream," I agreed, kissing him. "So this dream of yours, how did it end?"
"That's the funny part," he said. "It ended just like this. You and me, laying in bed, just being together."
I thought about it for a minute.
"So is this the end, Josh?" I asked.
"Maybe," he said, kissing me again. "Or maybe it's just the end of the beginning."
That's it for now. I've run out of places to go with the story, for now. If it turns out to be only temporary, expect to see some new chapters soon. If it turns out to be permanent, hey, it's been a hell of a ride.
I want to thank everyone who has written to offer their support and feedback. If Jack, Josh, and all the rest do come back, it's because of you.
Thank you. :)