DISCLAIMER:
This series is entirely fiction. It is by no means an inference into who Nsync is and any of the band members sexuality. If you are under the legal age to read this I now request you leave. If you are offended by M/M topics, I would ask that you remove yourself from reading this story as well because this has things you won't normally see on the Disney Channel. I am by no means affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA Records.
AUTHOR'S WORDS:
Hi All. I feel a need to make comment on the feedback I've been getting. As a whole, it has been positive, but I seem to have one constant flame. You know who you are, and honestly, not everyone wanted to shoot me over the last chapter. Yes people, that is what he said in his subject "You're right a lot of people do want to shoot you". I don't have time for it and frankly, if you think you can do better... YOU FUCKING WRITE THE SERIES!! I write this for me and those who enjoy it... if you don't like it - GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! If it keeps up... I will simply stop writing... ONE PERSON WILL FUCK IT FOR EVERYONE! That is how I am feeling at the moment. The person who I am talking about knows who he is as do a few others. I do not take the bull-fucking-shit that is being dealt. If people want the name, write to me and I'll hand it to you along with the address. I am not impressed and VERY NOT HAPPY!
AUTHOR'S THANKS:
With a lighter note, I want to thank so many people now but I don't know where to start. Well to start, I should thank the Nifty Archivist who has allowed me to post this series on his site and has continued to let me. After Nifty, I want to thank the Lord for giving me the ability to write and the words that I put into each part of this series. Next I would like to thank my most devout reader, Jordan. My young friend, you are amazing. You have a sense of knowledge and street smarts that belies your age. Welcome to my family. Carsten, my friend, your support to this series and to me with all that has happened, words cannot say thank you enough. You are one in a million. Your way with words always manage to make me smile (to make me smile is rare at the momement, yet my friend... you still know how to) and make me realise when I've fucked up in the story some where. Without you, JC Dreams would be totally and utterly rooted at times. At times, when I feel I'm slipping within me, I know that I can write and just talk to you Carsten, you will never know what that means to me. You are one in a million and I can't think of what to say now to try and explain what's inside... some author huh. Tim, the net is a big place and it can also be a dangerous place. Keep in mind the lessons I have taught. Things can go wrong, but it is up to you to make them right. To anyone who has read and written in... thanks, your words of support are a blessing to me in disguise. You may not realise the impact but they are all amazing. Paul, my angel, my friend and my heart. I cannot begin to tell you all that I hide in my heart and all that I know eternally within. There is so much potential in all that I see with you. I can see the movie director, I can see the young man, I can see the caring lover. I now challenge you Paul, see what I do. Even if you don't become big and famous, you still make me proud of you for being you. I love you for it, and I miss you baby. James, thanks for listening to me rant and rave and suffer PMS, it's good to have someone to talk to and bitch to when I need. Good luck with your series and life. To those who have read and not written in, thanks for just reading.
AUTHOR RECOMMENDS:
Jamie's Romance - (Boy Bands) - Staring Justin (Nsync) and Jamie (non-celeb) in a fantastic read. Well done to Jim in the unbelievable ways you write your story. I want to be able to write like you one day, as an author, you are a huge role model to me. Just Together - (Celebrity) - Michael (From Dawson's Creek) and Jonnah (tech crew) are written into an amazing story which pulls at all the heart strings. Without this series, I would be lost. Search and Rescue - (Boy Bands) - Nsync story with JC (duh) and Matt (non-celeb)... and the author's a slack bastard!! He's worse than I am at updating. LOL... now that says somnething. Leave us hanging why don't ya... write more. Still this is by far the best of all the JC series that get posted here on Nifty. Ryan's Love - (Celebrity) - Ryan Phillipe and Seth Barnes... fiction character who writes for 'Felicity' ... it's an older series that was finished like two years ago, but still a fucking good read. Go find it! It's also started to be updated again with all the characters growing and being expanded on. Josh and Curly - (Boy Bands) - at last another Nsync story by another Australian... YEEEHAW! JC's Hitch-hiker - (Boy Bands) - very well written, into it's 'third' season and is updated more than JC Dreams, so if you want a filler... go for it!
FEEDBACK:
jellybeanking@hotmail.com -- this email has a messenger attatched to it.
DEDICATION:
This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January - 1980 to 20 - August - 2000. From his memory and support, a story born. Eternal rest grant unto him O'Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen
JC Dreams 35
by
Sun Child
"Then why'd you leave Josh, then why'd you leave?" Tony asked. It seemed to be all he could say since earlier that morning when he'd found the note from JC under the front door. People had been knocking on his door all morning. He'd ignored them and just went into the bedroom where he couldn't hear them. Eventually people stopped knocking and left him alone which is all he felt he wanted at that point in time.
Chris wandered back into the room where Joey, Lance, Justin, Britney and Mark all waited. Justin sat to the side and on his own, basically ignored by the entire group, Mark and Britney sat together holding hands with fingers linked. Lance and Joey sat together and talked quietly. When Chris walked in the entire group looked up.
"He's still not coming to the door. The group all sighed and looked at each other. There was one person who might be able to fix this and he didn't want to know Tony.
"Where is JC?" Asked Chris.
"Don't know. Said he had to go out and would be back later." Joey told him.
"So what do we do now?" Asked Britney, and the group lapsed back to silence.
Justin left the room, feeling like an outsider amongst people who were meant to be his closest friends. He stood outside his door for a moment then decided it was time to go and work things out. He walked down to Tony's door and knocked loudly. From inside he heard a voice call out softly,
"Please go away."
"Sorry Tone, I'm not going anywhere until you let me in. That's the deal." Justin called back. A few minutes later, Justin heard the chain slide across and the door opened a fraction.
"What do you want Justin?" Tony asked and Justin half gasped in horror. Tony's eyes were bloodshot and had large black half-moons under them.
"I wanted to talk." Justin told him. Tony half nodded and opened the door. Inside the room was as dark as Tony possibly could have made it. Justin walked over and pulled open some curtains. Tony half cringed at the sudden light invading the room. Justin walked over and sat Tony down on the couch and sat down next to him.
"I want to say sorry before anything else." Justin told him. Tony looked at Justin.
"Justin, I think I forgave you a long time ago, but I'm not going to forget it for a long time yet. Justin nodded. Tony looked away out the door infront of him and out over the balcony. Justin put his hand up on Tony's shoulder.
"I'm sorry Tone. This is my fault."
"No Justin, it's not. This is really no one's fault. It's one of those things in life that occurs and blows up. I'm not blaming anyone for this." Tony told him. Looking back from over the balcony and over at Justin. He smiled.
"Thanks for coming to apologise though." Justin smiled back. Tony heard voices outside in the hall and stood and walked over, locking and chaining the door. He came and sat back down and Justin looked at him.
"What was that for?"
"Because, I don't want to deal with people at the moment."
JC walked into Chris and Joey's room and looked at the group.
"Why did Justin just go into mine and Tony's room?" The group all looked at each other then at JC.
"Are you sure it was yours and Tony's room?" Britney asked. JC nodded his head with an expression that more or less said 'duh'. They all looked at each other and felt rather miffed at the whole thing. JC shrugged,
"Well, if they are whatever, that's their choice, I have no part to play no longer." Was all he could say before lifting a magazine to read. The others all looked at each other in dismay of JC's attitude towards the situation. Finally Joey stood,
"Well, if you don't give a fuck, I do." He said and walked out the door and headed down towards Tony's room.
Justin and Tony were sitting quietly in the lounge, neither talking, neither feeling a need. With the knock at the door Justin looked at Tony who called out.
"Who is it?"
"Only your face doughnut king." Joey called back through the door. Tony grinned weakly and walked over and opened the door. Joey gasped as he saw Tony, the sunkeness of his eyes, the black bags that had formed under them. Joey cringed as he thought of what Tony must be going through to get to this stage. Tony opened the door fully and motioned Joey inside.
"You eatten yet Tony?" He asked. Tony shook his head.
"Not hungry enough to bother." Joey sniffed the air.
"Not hungry for food, but hungry for nicotine I take it." Tony shrugged.
"Tone, are you coping okay?"
"I'll get by."
"What did you do last night?" Joey asked him, Justin looked over interested.
"I played with my guitar and then went to bed." Tony told him. Joey nodded and was about to say more when there was a knock on the door. Sighing, Tony went over and opened the door. Mark looked at him then shook his head, reached over and slapped him.
"Get over it." Was all he said and walked away. Tony stood there looking dazed when he head Justin chuckle softly behind him as he shut the door.
"I'll remember that Juz." He called over his shoulder and heard the chuckle abruptly stop. Joey walked up behind Tony and started to tickle him. Tony started to giggle, then gave way to full on laughter.
"Joey what the fuck are you doing?" He gasped.
"Making you smile, you haven't for quite a while have you?"
"Ya big goof." Smiled Tony. Joey shrugged, smiled and went about walking into the kitchenette. He came out a short time later with some toast and orange juice.
"Please have some breakfast Tone." He asked, his eyes pleading. Tony looked at Joey then at the food.
"Only if you promise to stop harassing me about it." Joey nodded.
"Done deal." Tony smiled and took the food. The three sat there laughing talking and having fun until later that night when Tony's phone rang. Walking over he picked it up.
"Hello?... Yes they're here... okay I'll get Joey for you." Tony spoke into the phone, his voice a little sad causing Joey and Justin to look at each other. He handed the phone to Joey.
"It's Josh." Joey nodded and walked over and took the phone.
"Yeah, we're ready for eats... what time?... okay, want us to bring anything, or anyone?... okay... see you then... yeah bye." Said Joey, annoyance in his voice as he hung up the phone.
"Just bring ourselves, nothing else needed." Joey told Justin.
"He didn't invite..." Justin started.
"Tony? Nope." Joey said sighing. Tony just shrugged.
"Hey it's cool. I want to work on some songs anyways." He told them, hurt and sadness shining in his eyes. Joey looked at Tony.
"You sure, I don't mind bailing and staying."
"Nah it's cool Joe, you go have fun." Tony smiled at him. Joey nodded and put his hand on Tony's shoulder.
"Okay. I know I'm no where near as close as you and Justin, but I still count you in the circle of my best friends. Don't hesitate if you need me." Tony sniffeled a little at Joey's confession and nodded then gave Joey a hug. Joey hugged him back then let him go.
"You sure you're okay?" He asked. Tony nodded and looked over at Justin.
"You two better get going. Don't keep the man waiting." He smiled. Justin stood, walked over and hugged Tony then looked at Joey.
"Can you give us a moment?" Joey nodded and walked to the door.
"I'll see you down in my room." Justin nodded then looked back at Tony as the door closed.
"Tone, are you positive you don't want us to stay here."
"Yeah I'm sure Juz. You go have fun." He said softly to Justin. Justin nodded then leant over and kissed him on the forehead.
"We all still love you Tony. I think JC probably does as well, just doesn't know how to deal with it." Tony looked miserably at Justin.
"You think so?" Justin nodded.
"I know so." With that he kissed Tony on the lips and pulled back and looked Tony dead in the eye.
"He loves you." With that he let go and walked out the door. Tony walked over and sat down heavily on the couch. Thinking better he went and got his guitar and tried to find a riff and eventually found one he was happy with. He sat there playing with a tune and eventually found one he liked. Flipping on his tape recorder he sat there, thinking, trying to find the right words.
Got to give a little time
Got to give a little space
I guess it's a lovesick ryhme
A heart line to trace
I remember the first song you sang
I remember the way your voice lifted up
I remember the way the words rang
I remember the days you never gave up
Your name arises every day
It comes out of every thing here
Every single word I seem to say
Because it keeps you near
I remember, oh baby, all I remember
It's like a sunny autumn day
It's like first brown leaves of September
It's all of nature's way.
I remember the first song you sang
I remember the way your voice lifted up
I remember the way the words rang
I remember the days you never gave up
I feel the way we used to feel
I remember the all we said
I remember what we thought was real
I most remember what was unsaid
You mean so much to me
You still reduce me to tears
Now you set me free
Wisom with burning years
I remember the first song you sang
I remember the way your voice lifted up
I remember the way the words rang
I remember the days you never gave up
You I remember
Us I remember
All I remember
Is it me you remember
Oh I remember you, oh baby, I remember you
Will you remember me as days grow old
For memories last a life time it's true
Just the feelings that grow cold
I remember the first song you sang
I remember the way your voice lifted up
I remember the way the words rang
I remember the days you never gave up
I remember, oh I remember
Baby, you're all I remember
I've forgotten days in Septemeber
It's all you I remember.
Tony clicked off his tape recorder, proud of the work he'd just done. He then wandered over and called for room service, decidin that maybe Joey was right and he should eat something. He walked out onto the balcony and looked out over the city then turning slightly to his left, he saw the balcony two doors down. JC stood there looking up at him. Realising he'd been caught, JC turned and walked quickly into the room and Tony heard him shut the door. Sighing, Tony got his tape recorder and rewound the tape and sat down out on the balcony waiting for room service, cigarette in hand and listening to his music.
Until my life is through,
This I promise you.
Came a voice in his head. Tony shook his head and laughed. It was no laughter of joy, it was not laughter of sadness. Nor was it maniacal. He laughed hollowly, he could only laugh, otherwise he'd cry.
Two door down, JC walked back into the room and everyone looked up at him.
"You okay JC?" Asked Britney.
"Yeah, I was just outside for fresh air."
"And you saw Tony and had to run into hiding?" Justin threw at him.
"I'm not hiding from him."
"Then fucking go talk to him." Chris threw in. JC looked at Chris surprised. Chris stood up and walked over to JC.
"Look JC, we love you dearly, but you miss him, he misses you and you need to sort this." Chris told him.
"Nah, I'm giving it a few more days."
"JC, I doubt Tony will live a few more days." Justin said.
"Huh?"
"Ask Joey, he looks tired and sickly." Justin told him and Joey nodded confirmation. JC shrugged.
"Well, it'll be his choice if he gives up." With that, JC left the room.
--- OOOH! Juicy! Kinda maybe cliffhanger... hate me yet? No need to answer that one! Feedback -= jellybeanking@hotmail.com =- 1) I Remember - mine - dedicated to Brendon Hugs kisses and jellybeans, SunChild