JC and the Actor, Chapter 7, Copyright 2003 ----------
The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.
Thanks to all of you for emailing me with your comments. Please keep them coming. Your support has really made me enjoy writing this story, and encouraged me to keep up with it. For those of you who haven't written yet, come on now, show some love. :) mzbryan2003@yahoo.com
And now back to our story, already in progress.
Chapter 7
Thursday. It had started off like any other day. I showered, shaved and had breakfast. The weather report predicted that the rain would be continuing through most of the day. I was trying to think of how I could be spending my free time in a constructive way. Of course, I only had until Saturday before I flew to Los Angeles. I thought about cleaning out my closets, but being a borderline obsessive-compulsive, I knew that they were already in perfect order. I thought about calling my mom, but I knew she would ask me about Mark, which would probably just depress me for the day.
I decided to go to the gym. In the past week I had somewhat fallen off of my regiment and so it was time to kick it back into high gear. I was there for about a half-hour before I guy that had been staring at me from the other side of the room walked over to me.
"I'm sorry," he said. "But I saw you last Saturday, and just wanted to tell you that I thought you were amazing."
I released the dumbbells and stood up. "Thanks a lot, I'm glad you liked the play." The guy was over six-feet tall, blond, and had a killer smile. I could see his body was extremely well developed, as he was only wearing a tight tank top and gym shorts.
He extended his hand to me and I shook it. "Oh, it wasn't just the play I liked."
I felt myself blushing somewhat and turning my head to the side. I said "oh," and feigned a little laughter.
"I'm Jake," he said. He hadn't yet let go of my hand. Easing myself out of his grip I told him my name and he said he knew. He was very good-looking and he never broke eye contact.
"Listen," he started, staring at me intently. "I live just a few blocks from here. Would you like to come over for some coffee?" He paused. "Maybe talk about the play?" He smiled, completely self-assured. I'd run into aggressive guys at the gym before, but he was definitely nearing the top of the list. It wasn't that I was thinking about going as much as I was thinking that I was probably totally free to do so. I mean, JC and I were not dating and the guy was totally hot, and obviously wanted me badly. He could have fit nicely into my new anti-relationship state of mind.
"I'm sorry," I said. "But I'm kind of seeing someone." It felt like the right thing to say, though I'm not quite sure why. I felt somewhat ill at the idea that I was falling for JC more than he was for me.
"That's ok," he said, not missing a beat. "So am I." He stood there, waiting for my response. I looked at him for a moment, thinking about both how arrogant he was, and how much I would have liked to have seen him with his clothes off.
"It was nice meeting you," I said, sitting back down and picking up my dumbbells again.
"Yeah, you to." He walked back to where he had been working out and I was somewhat shocked at how unfazed he was by being rejected. He probably knew that he would find some other hot guy in the next hour that would be more than willing to have "coffee" with him.
Around noon, I started thinking I was quite the idiot for my unexpected, constant thoughts about JC. This wasn't what I was supposed to be doing or how I was supposed to be feeling. I mean, did I really think I knew this guy? The fact that I hadn't heard from him since last night originally hadn't bothered me that much, but now I was wondering if JC was just another celebrity who used his status to get what he wanted and had now moved on. I didn't like the idea of feeling hurt by somebody I didn't even have a close relationship with, but it didn't stop me from having the feeling. I started to think that whatever we had was over, and told myself to put it behind me.
I had just stepped into a coffee shop when my cell phone rang. I was at first impressed that I had remembered it, then slightly upset when I saw it was my friend Erin, and not JC. It wasn't that I didn't like Erin, it was just that, well, she was not JC.
"So how have you been spending your time?" she asked.
"Oh, you know, the usual...strip bars, orgies, oh, and I've picked up a nasty speed habit."
"Great," she said. "So you're free to come to my opening now tonight right?" Erin was a painter and was having her first big exhibit at a small Soho gallery. Originally I wasn't able to go because of the play, but now, I was quite free.
"It's at eight right?" I asked. She said it was and I confirmed the address. I was kind of looking forward to getting back into the normal routine of my life. I normally hung out with my friends a lot more than I had been. I called Morris to see if he was going to be able to make it and he said that he was. Erin, Morris and I had all gone to college together and kind of had a three musketeers thing going on for most of the four years we spent together.
I spent an hour or so in the coffee shop, sipping a drink I wasn't really enjoying, watching the rainfall, and reading the paper. When I turned to the gossip section my eyes were immediately drawn to the picture in the bottom corner of the page. It was of Justin and JC. They were obviously at a club, hunched together in a small booth with people I didn't recognize on either side of them. JC was obviously laughing hard at something Justin was saying. His arm reached across the back of the booth, behind a guy sitting next to him. The article was talking about NSYNC's wild partying last night and mentioned that at one point late into the evening, JC had even started tending bar, mixing drinks for the numerous celebrities as well as the local clientele. I told myself not to take the article at face value, but it seemed rather obvious that JC had spent a wonderful evening out. I told myself not to feel bad, that JC and I had used each other mutually, that I hadn't been taken advantage of. He had his own life, and he assumed I did as well. I could have slapped myself for getting caught up in the moment. I stood up, determined not to let this become a big deal, and headed back to my apartment.
I was walking briskly, umbrella in one hand, gym bag on my shoulder. My cell phone rang again and I saw that it was JC calling. I immediately came to a halt, my heart started pounding and my first reaction was to not answer. Then I realized I was not twleve, and answered.
"Hey," he said, his voice sounding cheerful. "How's it going?"
"Good," I replied.
"So, what are you up to?"
"Not much, just walking home."
"Cool, so did you feel like some company?" I think he heard the hesitation in my voice because he quickly followed up with, "I wanted to explain about last night."
"Um, I have to go to a friend's art exhibit tonight."
"Oh, that sounds cool." He seemed to still be waiting for my response.
"Do you want to go?" I found myself asking.
"Uh, sure, if you don't mind." The thought of parading around a gallery with JC by my side was exciting me a bit, but I told myself to stop thinking silly thoughts. I told him just to meet me there, and gave him the address. I pretended that I had a bunch of stuff to get done beforehand. I didn't want to resort to such silly behavior, but I needed time to think.
After he hung up, I felt as though I would go stir crazy if I went back to my apartment. The rain was calming down so I went uptown to Saks. I had always found it hard to stay in a bad mood after buying clothing. I just hoped I wasn't going to break the bank.
I decided that I needed something new to wear for tonight. I kind of felt like this would be the last time I saw JC, so I thought I might as well go out with a bang, figuratively speaking of course. I came across a dark, Ralph Lauren suit that seemed to be calling to me from across the room. It fit my build perfectly, though the pants would need tailoring. At the counter, I asked the saleswoman if I could have them tailored today, to which she quickly responded by telling me that all alterations would take two to three days. Determined to get the suit, I leaned over the counter, staring at her intently but friendly.
"Isn't there anyway the tailor could possibly do it today?" Years ago I had wondered if using my looks to get what I wanted was wrong. I had decided it wasn't.
The saleswoman looked back at me and smiled. "Let me see if he's somewhere around here."
I got back to my apartment with my suit, a dark blue shirt, a black tie, and a pair of black Bruno Magli shoes. I did feel better and was looking forward to seeing my friends tonight. I showered again and then leisurely got dressed. I left for the show around eight, since I had to arrive fashionably late. When the cab pulled up I saw a bunch of people piling near the small gallery. I recognized many of them, but was surprised at how casually dressed so many people were. As I neared the entrance, I realized the crowd wasn't there to purchase Erin's work. Rather they had swarmed around two rather recognizable people, JC and Lance.
The two stood in front of the gallery signing autographs for the many tourists that were mixed in with the gallery guests. Even Erin was standing there with a pen and paper. JC noticed me and his smile made me melt. I could not believe how beautiful I thought he was. He was dressed in an open white shirt with characteristically strange pants that fit him quite snuggly. It was my first time seeing Lance up close and was impressed with how nice looking he was. He seemed very friendly and I could tell that his hair colorist was a true artist. When JC waved at me and called me over, the crowd shifted their elated gazes from him to me, and for a moment I thought they were going to start asking me for autographs. A large bodyguard was standing near the two, and eventually he hustled them into the gallery.
As the crowd dispersed, Erin came running over to me.
"Can you believe they came to my opening?"
"Yeah," I said. "Actually, I invited them. Well, I invited JC. I'm sorry, I didn't think about the commotion it would cause."
"Are you kidding?" she said. "The paparazzi was here taking pictures of them in front of my show, not to mention all these people. I should be thanking you for making my career!" Her face suddenly straightened and she glared at me. "Wait a minute, how do you know JC?"
"It's a long story." I hoped that explanation would suffice, and apparently it did as someone came up to Erin and told her to come into the gallery. I followed and walked up to JC.
"Nate, Lance, Lance, Nate." JC gestured between the two of us. Lance stuck out his hand and I shook it.
"Good to meet you," Lance said. He was looking at me really intently and I felt like I was being sized up. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Great to meet you," I replied. JC had talked about me?
"Well gentlemen, it's been great, but I gotta jet."
"You're leaving already?" I asked.
"Yeah," he replied. "I'm going out with some people in the area." He slapped the back of his hand against JC's stomach and JC grunted, not expecting it. "Nervous here doesn't like to show up to things alone." JC's face reddened and he looked like he was going to say something before Lance interrupted to say goodbye and shake my hand again.
"Be good!" JC called.
"Always," Lance replied, waving goodbye. JC's eyes followed Lance until he had left the building, then they returned to me.
"Shall we check out some art?" I suggested.
"Sure."
I got us two flutes of champagne and we started down the line of paintings. Erin had managed to cram a lot of pieces into the relatively small space and people really seemed to like them. I bought one of the paintings that I had always told Erin that I loved and JC bought one of her more modern pieces. It had lots of reds and geometric patterns to it. I told him that he didn't have to do that, and he looked at me strangely and said, "But I really like it." I was hoping the champagne would take off the edginess I was feeling, but so far it wasn't.
At one point in the evening, we were both standing very close together, looking at one of the paintings. JC softly whispered to me, "You look gorgeous Nate." I turned to look at him, feeling my heart swelling a bit.
"As do you." I had another glass of champagne and was starting to feel no pain when Erin walked up to me.
"Nate, how am I going to expand my fan base if you keep buying all of my artwork?"
"Can I help it if so many of your pieces fit so well into my apartment's design?" She gave me a quick hug and then thanked JC for coming and for purchasing a painting as well. He told her he absolutely loved her work. After a couple of hours at the gallery, I abruptly turned to JC and asked him if he wanted to go.
"Ok," he said.
"My place?" He nodded.
We were both quiet in the cab. A few times JC looked like he was about to say something, but apparently he kept changing his mind. As soon as we got into the apartment I attacked his mouth with my own. He seemed a bit shocked, but was soon getting into it. We quickly made our way toward the bedroom, shirts unbuttoning, belts unbuckling. I pushed him down so that he was sitting at the foot of the bed. I pulled off the rest of my clothes and in moments, over $2,000 of fabric and shoes were thrown onto the floor. JC had taken his shirt off and I helped him out of his shoes and pants. He looked up at me and started to say something, but I dropped to my knees and in one swift motion took his half-hard cock into my mouth. It caught him off guard and he found himself just responding to the sensation. I bobbed up and down his long pale shaft, wiping my tongue roughly over his light pink, well-formed head. I felt him growing harder and harder, and was soon finding it difficult to keep sucking him.
I pulled my mouth off of his cock and grabbed it with my hand. "How big is this thing?" I asked, sliding my hand up and down his shaft. He laughed a little. "Come on, I know you've measured it." He saw that I was serious.
"It's eleven inches at its hardest." He looked a bit embarrassed and I resumed sucking him. He moaned and laid out flat on his back, lifting his arms up above him. Watching his chest rise and fall in that position was making my own cock painfully hard. I heard JC saying, "Nate, we should ta--" I didn't want to hear him talk. I swung my body around so that my own crotch loomed above his head. I lowered myself onto his face and immediately felt my balls fall into his mouth. The sensation was incredible as he sucked them and rolled them around in his mouth. I continued sucking his pole and was trying to think about nothing but how much I loved doing it. My hands kneaded his thighs and twisted his balls around in their smooth sack.
I felt him grab my cock and guide it into his mouth. I grunted and we both fell over to our side, allowing ourselves better access to each other's cocks. I was sucking furiously now, turned on by the sensation of his mouth, as well as the feeling of my head being lightly squeezed between JC's hard thighs. His hands pulled at my balls while he sucked and I soon felt the urge rising within me. "Josh, I'm gonna..."
"Me too," he panted. We released each other's cocks from our mouths and started jerking them roughly. He yelled something and I watched the cum start spurting out of his dick. Some of it splashed against his stomach while some of it landed on the bed.
"Oh fuck!" I yelled, feeling my cum shoot out of me. I looked up to see my cum hit JC's upper chest. He was watching too and the sight made me think I might cum again. We kept jerking each other until I told him he had to stop, that my head was becoming too sensitive. We rolled off each other, laying side by side, panting, slowly regaining our breath. I took some tissues and cleaned JC off. After a few minutes JC turned on his side to face me.
"You know, about last night..." he started.
"It doesn't matter Josh." I was still on my back, staring up at the white ceiling.
"But I think you should know..."
Hearing him about to begin an excuse for something that wasn't even supposed to be an issue suddenly infuriated me. I didn't want excuses. I didn't want to think about forgiveness or compromise. I realized I had a choice to make. I could either sit here and wait to get hurt all over again, the same way Mark had hurt me, or I could get the upper hand and move on with my life in my own way.
"Josh," I began. "You don't owe me any explanations for what you did or where you were." My tone was kind of harsh and I could feel him growing defensive.
"Well what is that supposed to mean?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow.
"It just means that you're going back to LA in 2 days and I live and work in New York."
"So?"
"So? So why are we complicating something that isn't supposed to be complicated?
"Who said it shouldn't get complicated?" He was now sitting up and I sat up to meet him.
"You did." He gave me a strange look. "In my dressing room, the day after we met, you told me you weren't interested in a relationship. Those were the rules we were supposed to be playing by."
"That's not how I said it. And even if I did, things change."
I stared at him. JC Chasez was now telling me that he wanted to have a relationship with me? "Oh come on, you want to start a bicoastal relationship, where we talk on the phone a lot and hope that one of us isn't cheating on the other?"
"It doesn't have to be like that!" he retorted, he was getting shaky and through my anger I felt bad that I was upsetting him. "It wouldn't be like that. You can't always plan for these things Nate!"
"Josh, we were two horny guys that fucked in a bathroom within hours of meeting each other. Don't turn this into the romance of the century." He looked away from me, and then got out of the bed.
While getting dressed he continued. "Nate, I know how we started, but it was never just a sex thing and you know it. I don't do that kind of shit and neither do you."
"People change." At this point I think I was just trying to win the argument. I got up and slipped my boxer-briefs back on. JC had finished dressing and walked away into the living room. I followed after him.
He turned around. "Why do you want to end it like this?"
"Josh," my voice was becoming calmer. "I'm just trying to say that we were supposed to be engaged in something where nobody gets hurt. I had a great week with you, and we should just leave it at that. Why risk everything on a deal that is so unlikely to work out in the first place? I mean, I think our chances are a mathematical impossibility!"
"Why are you so analytical all of the sudden? You're an artist for God's sake!"
"Yes, and part of what makes me able to create these characters is that I can logically figure out who they are, what they would do, how they would react."
JC walked to the door. He stopped for a moment, then looked up at me, opening the door. I thought I saw his eyes tearing, and could tell it was taking every ounce of his strength to be able to speak and organize his thoughts. "Well, maybe someday you'll stop acting." He closed the door behind him. He was gone.
I stood there, frozen until I realized tears were streaming down my own cheeks. I wasn't crying, I was just overcome with emotion. I realized that my heart was racing and I had to sit down. I put my head between my knees and tried to prevent myself from hyperventilating. In my effort to prevent myself from being hurt, not only had I given myself a horribly painful feeling, but I inflicted it upon someone who probably couldn't hurt another person if he tried. I still didn't see how things could possibly have worked out between us. I mean, I just couldn't have possibly met the love of my life hours after being dumped by the man I thought was the love of my life. Suddenly I had a thought and it scared me. I had just hurt JC in the exact way Mark had hurt me and in the way I wanted to hurt Mark in return. What had I done?
The next morning, after lying wide-awake thinking all night, I forced myself out of bed early, believing if I didn't that I may never get out. I put on some gym clothes and headed out, thinking a run might clear my head. I had just run down the stoop of my building and was heading up the street when I heard a voice calling from behind me.
"Hey Nathan!"
I stopped and turned. It was Justin.
To be continued