JC and the Actor, Chapter 6, Copyright 2003 ----------
The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.
Thanks to all of you for emailing me with your comments. Your support has really made me enjoy writing this story, and encouraged me to keep up with it. Please keep the letters coming. mzbryan2003@yahoo.com
Chapter 6
Mark looked at me for a moment without saying anything. I followed his eyes and could tell he was curious about the bottle of wine and the loaf of French bread sticking out of one of my bags.
"How are you?" he finally asked.
"Good." I answered. I could feel myself already slipping back to wondering why he had left me, why he had cheated on me. We had stood in these positions before, but now it seemed totally different.
"Did you want help with those?" he asked, pointing to my packages. He looked up toward my windows on the third floor. You could see the light shining out of them as dusk approached.
"No." I said quickly, tightening my grip on them. "It's fine. So what do you want?" I didn't say it with a lot of anger. I was more interested in finding out why he was here.
"Oh," he began. "Well, I just saw that Liza's funeral was today and I just wanted to see if you were ok. The papers said you were the one who found her." The papers had said that yesterday, I thought to myself.
"I'm fine." I started thinking about JC being upstairs and wondered what I would do if he were to come down. Would it even matter?
"I'm glad. I'm sorry you had to go through that Nat."
"Well, I've been going through a lot lately," I shot back, sounding a bit more irritated. The statement didn't bring a change to his expression. Had he always been this blank?
"You got some great reviews for the play."
"Yeah," I said, starting to want this conversation to end. "You should come see it when you get the chance. Look, I've got to get upstairs."
"Are you having company?" I was hoping he wasn't going to ask me that, but I could tell he knew something was up. Putting my professional abilities to work, I looked him in the eye.
"No." I didn't know if I didn't want him to know, or just didn't think it was any of his business. All I knew was that I wanted to leave.
"Ok, then, well, it was good to see you."
"Yeah," I answered. I mean did he think we were going to be buddies or something? He broke up with me less than a week ago.
I watched him walk away and entered the foyer to my building. Suddenly, I had to put my packages on the ground. My heart was racing and I almost had to sit down on the floor. I was somewhat shocked at being overcome with emotion at the sight of Mark. The feeling of not being wanted and of being deceived crept through me like a virus. In an attempt to calm myself down, I started thinking about what was waiting for me upstairs. There was another man. A man who couldn't seem to get enough of me for whatever reason. A man who had come into my life just as another had left it. Maybe one just really couldn't predict these things. I told myself that it would be silly to let Mark ruin the evening I had up until five minutes ago been so looking forward to. My heart slowed down and I went upstairs.
I opened the door to the sound of Frank Sinatra singing "I've Got You Under My Skin." The table was set with my linen placemats and two flickering candles. JC walked out of the bathroom, and I gave him a smile that I would have purposely hid a couple of days ago.
"You've been busy," I said.
"Yeah, I hope you don't mind. I wanted to help out. And I wanted to rifle through your CD collection."
"And you found Frank."
"As well as some other excellent choices." He raised his eyebrows and hit a button on the stereo's remote. His own CD came on and he pretended like he was really getting down to it.
"Uh," I laughed. "Frank may be more appropriate for dinner." He switched it back.
"Oh, I almost forgot," he started. "Someone buzzed you earlier, but I didn't know if I should answer it or not." Remembering his usual shyness, I figured he probably also didn't want to.
"It's just as well you didn't." I said. "It was my ex-boyfriend, Mark. He was downstairs when I got here." I decided there was no reason not to be completely honest with JC. Lying or leaving out details was not my style. Maybe it was because I told myself that I was in the perpetual search for truth.
"Oh," JC said, looking like he was trying to find someplace to go. "How is he?" He was reminding me of the way he talked to me the first night we met. He didn't know what to say, but was hoping I would like what he did say.
"I didn't ask, he said he just wanted to know that I was ok, what with Liza's funeral being today and all." Josh nodded and adjusted the volume to the stereo. "Josh, the only feelings I have for Mark are feelings of anger. I don't want to be with him at all. I mean, sure I've been wondering where it went wrong, but I could never stand for my partner cheating on me. I've never done that to anyone and could never allow myself to be that disrespected."
Josh looked up at me. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said.
"It's ok. Let's not dwell on the past. I have to get cooking."
I started to get things ready. JC asked if there was anything he could do to help, but I told him no, and that he should just go sing along with Frank or pour himself some wine and watch TV. He opted to pour himself some wine and stand next to me while I cooked. I thought to myself that if this guy got any cuter, I just wouldn't know what to do with myself. We chatted about this and that, and he told me what a great time he had just sitting around in my apartment by himself earlier, knowing that he wouldn't be bothered by anybody. I realized he was having quite a crazy week as well. I also knew that he was spending all of his free time with me, and I wondered if he was missing a lot of parties and the usual rock star debauchery. I asked him what the other guys did while he was with me, and he said that they basically went out clubbing every night.
"You don't want to be out doing that?" I asked.
"Nah, after six years or so, it starts to get a little old."
"But not for them," I suggested.
"No, I guess not. It becomes a pretty addictive lifestyle you realize?" He was trying to warn me of the temptations I would soon be facing.
"Josh," I said reassuringly. "I've had my share of temptations."
"Ah," he said, sipping his glass. "I bet you have."
We sat down to dinner, and continued talking. I found myself listening not only to what he was saying, but also to the flow of his voice. When he was calm he spoke very well, and his slightly nasal tone was very sexy. We talked about a lot of different things, from what we thought about the recent Supreme Court decision, to where we worked out. An observer would have probably thought we were two idiots.
"I wish I could get arms like you," he said.
"Josh, there is nothing, I mean nothing wrong with your arms." He smiled at me and looked over to the table by the door.
"Did you rent a movie?"
"Yeah, I thought maybe we could watch that 'Don't Get With Me,' or whatever it's called. JC laughed, he could tell that I wanted to act unimpressed with films.
"That would be cool," he said. "But you just said dinner before."
"Oh," I couldn't quite read him. "If you've got plans..."
"I'm kidding." He laughed a bit and winked at me. I was about to tell him that nobody likes a smart ass when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the number calling. "Sorry," he said. "I've gotta take this." He stood up and walked toward the bedroom, his other hand covering his ear. I guessed he was having trouble hearing because while I couldn't hear what he was saying, his voice would periodically get much louder. At one point I heard him yell, "Tell Lance to stop fucking around and that you want to leave!" My interest was totally peaked, but I knew it was none of my business.
A few minutes later he walked back in, looking somewhat agitated. He was searching for something to say. "Boy bands," he calmly said. "Always with the drama." I laughed and started gathering the dishes to bring into the kitchen.
On the couch, we settled in to watch the movie. We kicked our shoes off and sat kind of close, but weren't touching. The movie was good but by no means great. It was basically a blockbuster-type with the bonus addition of an actually consistent storyline. JC seemed to be enjoying it though, and I enjoyed watching him. As the movie went on and on, I shifted closer and closer to him. Our knees rubbed against each other. Our arms became entwined. Neither of us had said a thing, but by the time the credits were rolling, we were making out. I laid on top of him and we kissed for what felt like an hour. When I felt his leg lifting over mine, I suggested we go to bed. He nodded and we headed toward the bedroom.
The room was dim, the only light coming from the streetlights below us. Quietly we undressed. JC slipped under the covers, and I followed him in, once again my body on top of his. It was the first time we had full body contact with each other and it felt sexy as hell. I could feel his cock growing hard against my own while we resumed kissing. I didn't know what it was about tonight, or today for that matter, but the level of intensity I usually had with JC had changed. It wasn't that there was less passion so much as there was a growing relaxation in being with him, and a desire to be more intimate.
We kissed for a long time, our tongues slowly massaging each other. My hands moved up to his shoulders, and my kisses drifted down to his taught, gorgeous neck. His hands lightly caressed my back. I moved lower and the sheet began to move down with me, revealing his naked torso. I started nibbling at his right nipple, and I heard him sigh contentedly. His nipples were a perfect medium size, and they responded immediately to any stimulation. I moved to the other nipple, my hands lowering to grasp his biceps. Then it was on to his abdomen. A tiny trail of hair descended slightly down the middle from his chest, and then disappeared, only to faintly reappear as a sparse line flowing down from his naval. With my tongue I could feel his individual abdominal muscles. I could also feel his cock sliding up my chest. JC was slowly rocking himself against me.
When I got down to his cock, I grasped it in my hand and pulled it away from his body. He moaned. In the dark it felt like I was holding a long, rubbery pipe. I rubbed it against my lips, and then slowly closed my mouth over the head. It felt tough but spongy. I traced the ridges of his cut member with my tongue, lowering myself on it more and more. I was just thinking about how painfully hard my own cock was when I felt JC's leg start to rub up against it. I slowly humped myself against his leg, the tiny hairs on it tickling me and nearly sending me over the edge. I went all the way down on him a few times, but it was uncomfortable and caused me to lose my breath.
After licking him some more, I felt his hands lift me off of him as he turned himself over. Now, right in front of me was his perfect, smooth ass. I kissed his cheeks and rubbed them with my hands. I then noticed his ball sack squeezed between his legs and started to lick at it. He must have recently shaved again because they felt like warm, smooth marbles. His legs opened a little wider allowing me to lick at the skin between his balls and anus. I applied pressure to the area with my tongue and I heard a soft whimper.
"Nate," I heard him call.
I looked up at him. "You want me to..."
"Yes," he sighed, taking the pillow he was lying on and hugging it under his chest. I leaned over to the nightstand and took out a condom and the lube. His hands moved down and pulled his cheeks apart, revealing his inviting hole. I dripped the lube onto his hole and he moaned again, contracting his love muscle. I then rolled the condom onto my cock and applied some more lube to it. Then I brought my cock to meet his hole and started sliding into him. It amazed me how easily JC had received me all these times. He must have really felt relaxed around me. I thought about the fact that I had never been as sexually dominant as I was with JC, and I wondered if this would always be the case. My thoughts were replaced with pure physical pleasure as I fully entered him and laid myself down on him. He felt tight and warm. Slowly we began rocking up and down. I hooked my arms under his and grasped his shoulders. I didn't slam into him or even withdraw a large amount of my cock before pushing forward again. We had just found a slow rhythm that we both seemed to be enjoying. At one point he reached his hands above him to grasp the headboard. I placed mine over his and continued pumping into him.
"Ohhh," he moaned. He was picking up the pace a bit, pushing back to meet my thrusts more and more, his cock sliding up and down on the mattress. I let my right hand go and brought it down underneath him to grasp his cock. He made another noise and humped himself against my hand, pushing it deeper into the mattress. His ass was working wonders on my cock, and I knew I would be cumming soon. I slowed down a bit, only to have him quicken his backward thrusts against me. A sound escaped his lips and it had a note of panic to it, telling me he needed to cum now. I let him do the rest of the rocking and soon thereafter I felt his cock pulse in my hand as he started shooting his load onto the sheets. I could see some of it shoot out from underneath him. I kept a firm hold on his cock and then blasted off myself as his anus tightened around my cock. I pressed my face into his shoulder blade, licking, kissing and grunting. He continued to shake for a few minutes before I felt his entire body relax. I slowly pulled out of him, wrapping the condom in some tissue and cleaning myself up. I pulled him away from the part of the bed he had soaked with his cum so that we were spooning, his back against my chest. I leaned over him and we kissed tenderly. My hand stroked up and down his chest.
"You are absolutely wonderful," he said softly, snuggling back against me.
Maybe it was the post-orgasmic euphoria talking, but I found myself saying, "So are you. So are you." I pressed my head against the pillows and drifted into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning I woke up alone. I was disappointed, but there was a note on the nightstand explaining that the group had to do a press junket today, and that he would call me later. I took a long shower, thinking about how strange it was to not be doing the play. After so many months of preparation and stress, it was already on hiatus, making the whole experience feel a little anticlimactic. I also couldn't even run through the dialog in my head without thinking of Liza, picturing her up on that catwalk, or now, in the ground. When I talked to Johnny at the funeral, he said that the producers were frantically trying to get a huge name to replace Liza. They were trying to lure Meryl Streep and Susan Sarandon. "Even theater has gone to the movies," I thought to myself.
I went to lunch with Morris. The weather had worsened again and we sat in a small diner, waiting for the inevitable rain to begin.
"So when do you leave for the coast?" he asked.
"Saturday, I'm supposed to meet with the director Sunday morning."
"He's going to tell you to give your notice to the play you realize?"
"Well, then I'll tell him to fuck off. We've only had four performances so far, I have no intention of already planning my departure."
"Hmm," he looked at me disbelievingly. "We'll see."
After lunch we walked through a few of the small galleries in Chelsea. Morris remarked that I seemed to be handling the break-up quite well. I didn't feel like getting into the whole JC situation, but I told him with a smirk that I've had a lot of distractions. He smiled in response.
Of course the rain started while we were still out. Morris got a cab to go uptown where he was performing in an off-Broadway play. I decided to make a run for my apartment, as it wasn't that far away. It was around five when I got back. I was thoroughly soaked and had to change. I had forgotten my cell phone again and saw that I had two messages. As usual, one was from Allen and one was from JC. Allen was screaming that if I knew what was good for my career I would take whatever Larry Ridgecliff offered me. JC said that he had to go to some party with the guys, but that he would call me later.
I was enjoying my time off. In my bedroom, I sat in an overstuffed chair, reading magazines and watching the rain hit the windows. Later I went into the living room and soon found myself engrossed in a VH-1, 'Before They Were Rock Stars' marathon. They showed JC's Mickey Mouse Club and I almost laughed my ass off. "Who would have known?" I thought to myself.
It was around nine when my cell phone rang again. I picked it up and immediately heard a lot of commotion and music. "Hey," JC yelled into the phone.
"Hi," I said. "I can hardly hear you."
"Yeah, uh look, I don't think I am going to be able to meet up with you tonight."
I was disappointed and I could tell he seemed a bit aggravated. I heard him yell to someone, "Where the fuck did he go?"
"Is everything ok?" I asked. It occurred to me that he may just want to be partying without me, but I also felt that he wasn't very happy.
"Yeah, don't, what? Shit, I gotta go Nate." He hung up the phone.
I was totally confused. I was hanging out with someone living the rock star life, so any million of things could have been going on. But I decided not to speculate. I thought about calling some people up and going out myself, but I decided I didn't really feel like it. I ordered dinner, and was in bed reading by 11:30. I was hoping JC would call again but he didn't. I went to sleep, not particularly worried, but wondering nonetheless.