JC and the Actor, Chapter 4, Copyright 2003 ---------- The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.
Thanks to all of you who have written. I enjoy your comments, suggestions and criticisms, and hope that they continue. Email me at mzbryan2003@yahoo.com
p.s. Anyone see JC at the Teen Choice Awards Wednesday? Pretty yummy
Chapter 4
My knees gave out and I fell to the floor. It was as though time had stopped. My body felt numb, but I could see drops of tears falling on the ground in front of. It was the most horrific thing I had ever witnessed. I couldn't bear to look up anymore, so I fixed my eyes on a crack on the stage floor. I felt myself reenter my body when I heard footsteps running toward the stage. I looked up to see JC come running in, drenched and out of breath. "Nate?" I slowly stood up. My legs felt like iron pipes. I wanted to run to him but I wasn't able to. I started lumbering toward him and he met me halfway. I fell into his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably. He held me tight, telling me that it was ok. Then he must have looked up because I heard him gasp and he tightened his grip around me.
"I didn't get back in time." I cried. "I knew something was wrong." JC shushed me, stroking my hair and telling me it wasn't my fault. He asked me if I had called 911 and I shook my head no. I pulled myself away from him, fumbled around for my cell phone, and dialed the number. An ambulance was dispatched and police were also on their way. JC embraced me once again and I held onto him for dear life. "Can we get her down from there?" I asked him.
"I don't think we should," he replied. "It's probably best to leave it as it happened." I felt incredibly helpless. JC sat with me on the stage floor until the paramedics and police arrived. I gave him a sudden look of concern.
"Oh my God, is it bad for you to be here?" I asked, wondering how this would look in the papers tomorrow.
"Don't worry about it," he answered, placing his hand over mine. "I'm not going anywhere." The paramedics rushed in and set about getting up to the catwalk. The police asked me to describe what happened, which I did. I told them about the note, which they retrieved from the dressing room. After they finished their report, they told us we could leave. The paramedics passed by me with a gurney containing the body of Liza. She was completely zipped up in a black bag. The sight brought tears to my eyes once again and I worried that I might stop breathing. One of the paramedics thought that I should go to the hospital in case I went into shock, but I told him I would be fine, that I just needed to go to sleep and get away from here. "Let's get you home then," JC said, putting his arm on my shoulder. I nodded and we headed out. JC must have called his driver while the police were questioning me, because the car was waiting outside of the theater. We drove to my apartment, and JC followed me out of the car, telling his driver that he would call him in the morning. I turned to tell him that he didn't have to stay with me, but since I knew deep down that I wanted him to, I stayed silent and led him up to my apartment.
I stood in front of my door completely spent, not exactly sure what the next step was. I then felt JC's hand reaching into my pocket. He pulled out my keys and unlocked the door. He walked me inside. I went over and sat down on the couch. "You're all wet," I heard JC say. Since his statement didn't seem to cause any reaction on my part, the next thing I felt was JC pulling off my shirt. He then helped me out of my shoes and jeans. I sat there on the couch in my underwear while JC retrieved a towel from the bathroom. He toweled my hair dry and wiped the towel across my chest, arms, and legs. He then pulled his own shirt and pants off, and did the same to himself. Once he was standing in front of me in his boxer-briefs, I fully realized that JC had taken off after me when I jumped out of his car. Why did he do that? Why was he so concerned? "Where do you keep things to sleep in?" he asked.
"The bottom right drawer of my dresser," I answered, somewhat happy to realize I was paying attention. He returned wearing a gray pair of my pajama pants and carrying a pair of blue ones. He was still bare-chested, and seeing him there, his dark hair tousled, his muscles clenched, and the loose pajamas hanging loosely on his hips, exposing the top of his boxer-briefs, I thought that he was absolutely beautiful. I took the pants from him and stood up to put them on. I walked toward the bathroom and he followed me. Apparently I had picked up a watchdog at some point in the evening. I started brushing my teeth. While doing so I opened the medicine cabinet, found a new toothbrush, and handed it to JC. He smiled and started brushing along with me. Our sudden domestic bliss was shooting off all sorts of signals in my head, but I didn't have the energy to react to them. We finished and I led him into my bedroom. I crawled under the covers and he slipped in behind me, spooning against my back. It felt so good that it scared me. Was I supposed to object? Did I want to? The only other person I had shared this bed with was Mark, but that suddenly felt like a long time ago.
We laid there together in the dark. I couldn't close me eyes for fear of visualizing Liza's jump from the catwalk. I kept staring at the clock on my nightstand. I could see the hands in the dim light, and knew a half-hour had already passed. "You're not sleeping." I heard from behind me.
"I can't," I replied. Josh's grip tightened around me. He kissed my shoulder.
"You have to relax," he said, stroking my hair. I then felt his hand slide down my stomach and into my pants. He grasped my cock and started massaging it.
"Josh no, we can't, I can't." Without realizing I started moving my hand up and down his arm, feeling the soft hairs of his forearm.
"Shh," was his response. "It will help you go to sleep." He rolled me onto my back and placed a few light, feathery kisses on my chest, all the while rubbing my cock to an erection. He slid further down the bed, taking the sheets with him. He kissed my stomach above the waistband of my underwear. I felt him sliding them and my pajamas down. He kissed my cock and I reached down to pull him off.
"Josh, no,"
"Let me, let me," was his response. I let go of his head and he rolled his mouth over my cock. He began a slow motion up and down and I started groaning almost immediately. His hands reached up above him and grabbed onto my pecs, kneading them and pulling at the hairs on my chest. He was able to take all of me in and I felt his nose rubbing against my pubes. I wanted to lift my knees up, but his weight held them down. He let my cock fall out of his mouth and proceeded to lick up and down it, like he was rolling a cigarette. He then closed his mouth just over my mushroom-shaped head and applied pressure with his lips and tongue.
"Oh Josh," I muttered rubbing my hands through his hair. I could hear soft groans coming from him and I could occasionally hear him softly gasping for air. "I'm ready."
He released my cock from his mouth, and replaced it with his hand. His saliva had made it quite slippery and I started bucking up against his hand. He was stroking me fast, pinching my nipple with his other hand. When my body finally tensed, he tightened his grip just below the head of my cock, and I started shooting all over my stomach. I was moaning, feeling like I would be cumming forever. When it was finally over I felt JC wiping at my stomach with tissues he must have gotten from the other nightstand. He pulled my pants back up, rolled me back onto my side, and spooned himself back against me. I felt warm and comfortable. He placed a quick kiss on my cheek and said goodnight. I wanted to say goodnight to him as well, but I had fallen fast asleep.
I woke up relaxed and peaceful. JC was still around me. I placed my hand on his forearm and slowly tried to roll him over. He rolled onto his back and continued to sleep. I sat there for a moment just looking at him, watching his chest rise and fall. His dark eyelashes, his smooth brows, I could have just kept watching. In the back of my mind I knew that I was slowly going crazy for this guy, but for now I got up and headed into the shower. When I finished I came out wrapped in a towel to find JC sitting up in my bed, talking on his cell. He waved at me and I went into my walk-in closet to get dressed. Moments later he called out to me, "Justin said last night is all over the news. Oh shit!"
"What is it?" I called out.
"Uh, apparently the news is all over you!" I came out of the closet (ok, yeah, I know) and walked over to the window where JC was standing. Below were a bunch of reporters, standing outside of my building. I had never been in a situation like this.
"Uh, Josh, is this the kind of thing where we are gonna need, like, damage control or something?"
"Well," he began. "I don't think the two of us prancing out of your apartment this morning is going to exactly help my album's sales or your pending movie deals." The reality of being gay in a situation like this was daunting. It was one thing to live your life as you wanted, to go where you wanted, and to not really worry about people's speculation. But it was another to go on national television and be like "yeah, by the way, this is my boyfriend," particularly if you were an internationally famous pop singer. I myself knew that such publicity would hurt my chances of becoming a movie actor, and didn't know if that was something I was willing to give up. I thought for a moment, partly about what to do, partly about why I had just thought of JC as my boyfriend.
"I can just go down," I said. "I mean, I don't think it's a story where they will want to camp out here all day."
"That's probably not a good idea," JC replied.
"Why not? I'll just go tell them what happened, and then they'll leave." JC didn't look happy. I headed into the living room when my phone rang. "Hello?"
"Whatever you do, do not go talk to those fucking reporters!" It was Allen.
"Allen, what's the big deal?"
"Nathan, do you really want your first television appearance to be as the witness to a suicide? You're going to be a star Nathan, you're not the man on the street!"
"Well, what should I do then?"
"You have a publicist now."
"I do?"
"Yes, she's on her way over. She's going to make a brief statement on your behalf and then kindly ask the reporters to leave."
"But how does she know what I saw or how it happened?"
"Nathan, Liza hung herself right?" The question sent a chill down my spine.
"Yes."
"It upset you, right?"
"Yes."
"Well that's all we need, I'll call you later." He hung up and I looked over at JC.
"Allen thinks I should stay up here." JC nodded, I felt an "I told you so" coming on, but it didn't. I guess JC was definitely going to know how to handle these things better than me.
I walked back to the window. My "publicist" arrived and made a statement at the top of the steps to my building. Fear of opening the window kept me from hearing what she said, but minutes later all the reporters packed up and left. Apparently it was over. Liza was not tremendously famous outside of New York City, so it was unlikely that the story would have a long life. I imagined the next couple of days would be tough, but that would be the end of it. I heard the shower start.
While JC was in the shower, I called Maggie, Paul and some other people related to the show. As it was Monday, we had the day off anyway, but everyone wondered about what was to come. We learned that Liza's funeral was going to take place tomorrow morning and we were told that the fate of our show would be decided this afternoon. I agreed to meet Maggie later on for dinner.
When I hung up the phone, JC emerged from his shower wearing a towel. His skin was pink and he looked a bit worn out. "I think I had the water a little to hot." He walked over to the kitchen table and flopped into one of the chairs. I walked up behind him and placed my hands on his shoulders. I started rubbing them and he quickly responded in such a way that suggested he was enjoying it. I thought how it was really something the way that he came after me last night, and that he seemed so determined to make sure I was ok. I wasn't sure if the friends I've had for years would have done the same.
"Thanks for everything Josh," I said.
"No problem," he replied. I felt his shoulders slightly tighten and wondered if I has embarrassed him with my gratitude. I looked down at him and noticed his taught arms. Up until recently they had been my favorite part of his anatomy. I placed my hands on his well-sculpted biceps and slid them up in down. I didn't know what I was doing, but it seemed to be some sort of massage.
"Mmm, I'm going to be late," he said, leaning back against me. I froze. Something about this scenario suddenly bothered me. It was too comfortable, too touching, too soon. I dropped my hands from his arms and walked over to the refrigerator.
"I should get you some clothes." I quickly walked into my bedroom to find a shirt and pants, wishing a little that I could close the door and stay in there forever. JC called into me.
"We have an autograph signing at the Virgin Mega-store this afternoon, then we're going to be on Letterman."
"Wow, uh, then you'll definitely be wanting to wear clothes for that." Did I just say that? I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and walked back out, handing them to him. He undid his towel and let it drop to the floor. For someone who had never even taken his shirt off for the camera, he sure wasn't shy around people he knew. His cock was pretty long even when it was flaccid, and I had trouble keeping my eyes off of it.
As he pulled on the pants I had given him and tucked his cock into them he said "So I don't know, but if you want to come to any of those things I can arrange it for you."
"Thanks," I replied. "But I think I might just go for a walk in the park. You know, try to clear my head."
"Ok, well if you want, later..."
"I'm having dinner with Maggie." I interrupted, not trying to be rude, just trying to remain separate. JC tried to look as though he hadn't missed a beat.
"Ok, cool, well, I guess I'll talk to you later then." He pulled on the shirt and put his shoes back on.
"Ok." JC walked up to me. I wasn't sure what he was going to do and I didn't think he did either. He raised his hand and rubbed the top of my head roughly.
"It'll all be alright. You're not going to feel like this forever." He turned to walk out.
"Thanks Josh," I called out. He raised his hand in acknowledgement and closed the door behind him.
Walking in the park, my thoughts were all over the place. I still felt incredibly guilty for not seeing the signs of Liza's depression sooner. I was also starting to feel guilty about the way I was treating JC, although I hadn't really done anything to him. I felt like we weren't on the same page with respect to the type of relationship we had. At the same point, JC himself had made it clear to me that he wasn't looking for something serious, that he just wanted to be friends. So why was I turning into such a mess? I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. My friends were they types that were either in completely serious or completely casual relationships. This limbo-type situation they would find intolerable. I reminded myself that JC was a guy I had fucked in a bathroom only three days ago, but it was impossible to reconcile that image with the one of the guy consoling me after I endured the most horrible experience of my life. Like I had thought before, he wasn't playing by the rules.
I thought about just asking JC where he stood, but it seemed stupid. My asking would make him think that I wanted a relationship, and if he didn't I would feel like I was suffering another break up. I didn't think I could bare my soul to someone again, only to learn at some point that they didn't really care for me. No. I would not set myself up to be hurt again. JC and I would have a few more good times, then he could go back to LA, and I would move on. It was clearly the best decision.
While walking around, one of the producers of the show called me and informed me that they had decided to shut the show down for two weeks to allow some time to pass and to begin the search for a replacement. Liza's understudy would fill the role until then, but they wanted a bigger name for the part. I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't think of any show that this had ever happened to, and I wondered if it was going to hurt the show's momentum. I also got a call from Allen, letting me know that he knew I had two weeks off. He begged me to promise him that I would be in LA by next weekend to meet with Larry Ridgecliff and a few other people that had contacted him. "You have no excuses now," was how he phrased it. I told him not to worry and that I would go. Maybe a pseudo-vacation to Lala Land was just what I needed. "Shit," I suddenly thought to myself. There was just no way of getting away from JC.
After dinner, I returned home, thinking I would waste some time watching some reality television. Maggie had been quite upset through dinner, which didn't really help to reduce my anxiety level. Flipping through the channels, I came upon a repeat of NSYNC's two-hour special. It was so strange seeing JC on it. It was surreal actually. When one of the girls in the audience asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no, I started to harden. She had no idea what he had been doing with me the day before and I suddenly thought that was incredibly hot. It was around 11:30 when my cell phone rang. It was JC. "Hey, what's up?" I asked.
He chuckled a bit. "Uh, me." He sounded a little tipsy, and was apparently in a really crowded, noisy place.
"Having a good time?"
"I'd be having more fun if I was with you," he answered. He sounded a bit more like the JC from the first two days I had spent with him. Maybe he did just want to be "fuck buddies."
"Uh, did you want to come over?" My erection grew harder at the prospect of another night with him.
"I was hoping you would say that." I could tell he was smiling. "I'll be there in a few minutes." He hung up and I found myself talking out loud.
"Ya see? This is why I have no fucking idea what I'm doing." Minutes later I buzzed him in and soon he stood in my doorway. He didn't seem wasted as much as he seemed really happy, and something was indeed, noticeably "up."
"I was thinking about you the whole way here," he said, walking in and flopping down on the couch. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," I replied. For the moment it was true, as all I could think about was the man in front of me. I walked over and sat down next to him. He laughed a little again.
"Uh, you wanna fool around?" I looked intently into his eyes and told him that he really didn't have to ask. Instantly he lunged at me, crushing his lips against mine and kissing me deeply with his tongue. Horny JC was definitely my favorite of his many personas. I slid my hands under his shirt, and up and down his smooth back. He practically started humping against my body before I pushed him off, back to a seated position on the couch.
"I think I have to return a favor," I said. He smiled as I slid down to the ground between his legs. I pulled off his shoes and socks. I undid the tight pants he was wearing and he lifted up as I pulled them and his underwear off in one quick movement. Once again, his monster cock was inches from my face and harder than I had ever seen it. I grasped it by his base and lowered my mouth over it.
"Ohhh," he moaned, watching everything I did. I began bobbing up and down on his cock. It tasted sweet and a bit salty. He had obviously been dancing or in a hot place for quite a while. My hands were sliding up and down his slim, muscular legs while I continued to suck him. I wondered if I would be able to deep throat him and figured I'd give it a try. Bracing myself, I went for it, making contact with his trimmed pubes a few times before I worried that I might gag. He groaned out loud when I did this and pulled his shirt up a little, exposing his smooth, washboard stomach. Unlike other guys I had been with in the past, I found myself completely torn when I was with JC. I never knew which body part to go for, as I wanted them all so much. Wishing I had more hands, I stopped sucking him and stood up.
"I'll be right back." He gave me an upset expression and I hurried into my bedroom. I pulled off all of my clothes, and my cock really seemed to appreciate it. I grabbed a few condoms and the lube from my nightstand and walked back into the living room. JC was just unbuttoning and pulling off his shirt, leaving him completely naked on my couch. I resumed my position between his legs and started sucking him again. He put his hands on the top of my head and started rubbing them through my hair. I slid my mouth down to his ball sack and took one into my mouth. He flinched as I rolled the smooth ball around in my mouth, then did the same to the other one. My tongue slid beneath his balls, to the soft skin between them and his ass. I pushed up against the skin with my tongue and heard another groan. "Spread your legs," I told him.
He did as he was told, spreading his legs wide. I then took him by his knees and urged his feet up onto the couch. He tucked his hands under his knees to hold himself up and looked like he couldn't wait to see what was next. Now, right in front of me was JC's hole. It was wrinkled and only slightly darker than the rest of his skin. A tiny, sparse ring of dark hair surrounded it. My first reaction was to push my face up against it, but I decided instead to lube up my index finger and touch it to his hole. I teased the outer portion of his anus while JC squirmed. Then, in one quick motion, I slid my finger entirely into him. "Oh fuck!" he yelled, snapping his head back. This boy really liked having his ass played with. I started slowly finger fucking him. He just kept moaning, moving his head from side to side. He released his legs, letting them stay up on the couch by themselves while he stretched his arms behind his head. I could see the short, straight black hairs under his arms and the visual was making my own cock start to drip. I slid another finger into him and he started rocking up and down on it. Watching him do this, I thought he had to be the sexiest man alive.
"Feels so good!" he mumbled. His cock was still hard as a rock, lying on his stomach in need of some attention. I grabbed it with my free hand and started stroking it. "Oh," he moaned. "Oh...Fuck me! Please fuck me!" I looked up at him and he stared back at me. "Fuck me Nate!" I didn't want him to keep begging so I withdrew my fingers and pulled on a condom. He looked more eager than I had ever seen him as I lubed up my cock. His hole was already well lubricated so I was ready in no time. His hands had gone back under his knees, holding his legs up as I got into position. I touched my cock to his hole and he licked his lips. "Just push it in," he called from above me. I briefly thought about the girl on MTV asking JC if he had a girlfriend. It brought a smile to my face as I pushed into him.
He started moaning wildly and I quickly began to fuck him. Watching the lips of JC's hole roll up and down as I pushed in and out was perhaps the greatest turn on I had ever seen. As I continued to pound into him, he became louder and louder. He had never made quite so much noise before, and I was really getting into it. At one point I took over holding his legs up so that he could push his cock and balls to the side and watch me sliding in and out of him. He brought his hand to his hole so he could feel my cock sliding in and out. He then started stroking his own cock with a lot of ferocity. I was getting really close and could have cum at any second, but I was holding off until JC was ready.
I didn't have to wait that much longer as I started to recognize the low groaning noises he was making as evidence of his impending orgasm. "Fuck, here I go!" he said, pounding his cock with his hand and rocking up and down on my own. I pushed his knees up even further and really started slamming into him. This was definitely one of the most intense experiences of my life. I pressed my face into his chest and licked at the salty sweat that had formed there. I bit at the tiny hairs on his chest.
With one last groan, I felt hot liquid splashing up against my stomach. I looked down to see cum pouring from JC's cock. It was watery and didn't seem to be stopping. I felt a tightening in my balls and then I was unloading into him, making some incredibly loud sounds of my own. Just when I thought I had finished my orgasm, I had another one, causing me to rear up into him one last time before collapsing on top of him. He tightened his arms around me while he continued to shake and quiver. He then kissed the top of my head while I lay on his chest.
"That was so incredible." JC said.
"You are amazing," I replied, not worrying about the ramifications of my statement. Still inside him, I closed my eyes and rested against him. Was this something I could give up?
To be continued
---------- So what did y'all think?