Jc and the Actor

JC and the Actor, Chapter 22, Copyright 2003

The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.

Thanks to everyone who has written, please continue to send your comments, suggestions, and criticisms to mzbryan2003@yahoo.com

Chapter 22

I kept telling my eyes to open, but they refused to listen. I imagined that I was in a very dark room, though I couldn't be sure. Very far away, I heard voices talking, possibly to me. My nose itched, but I couldn't scratch it. I couldn't find my hands. Minutes may have been passing faster than seconds or longer than days. I wouldn't know the difference.

I wasn't sad, but I wasn't happy either. I was in limbo, not feeling much of anything. Someone was yelling. Someone was crying.

"He's stabilizing!"

"He's not waking!"

"Nathaniel."

"Nate, come back to me."

I wasn't ambivalent. It just seemed as if there was nothing I could really do. "We rush through things too fast," I thought. "Why not just relax and see what happens?"

"Ow!" I think I yelled. Did someone just poke me?

Ok. So I guess this is fine. Not very stressful at least. Not much to worry about. Have a problem? Don't look at me. Did I cause a problem? Oh well.

"Nathaniel," a disembodied voice said. "I really think it's time you wake up now."

I heard an entire sentence. "This desert climate is doing terrible things to my hair and to yours. Don't you want to wake up and come home?"

Home. It didn't sound like a bad idea. I think I would like to go home. Maybe it would be sunnier there. Maybe I wouldn't mind opening my eyes there.

"The doctor says you're fine now, so all you have to do is wake up and we can go. Come on, we can surprise everyone."

I think it was my mom talking. I thought that was cute. She was pretending that I was asleep. She thinks I've been sleeping for too long.

"Nathan,"

Dad? Was that my dad? My God, how long have I been here?

"Edward just flew in today. He'll be here soon. I told him to stay in school but he couldn't be swayed."

How nice.

"Nate, please get better." The voice came closer, as though it was whispering into an ear I couldn't feel. "I love you." It was a secret admission, but I couldn't place the voice.

"Nate." The voice shook as it said my name. "Nate, I don't think I can take this much longer. I see now that I can't live without you. I don't want to."

The person wiped at their nose with their hand. I could tell.

"In these past months," the voice continued. "You have become everything to me, and I just can't allow myself to think that I could fall this hard for someone and still have to lose them."

It was such a sweet voice. I felt just terrible for doing this to him.

"I told you I would never leave your side, but you have to promise the same to me. Please, Nate, please, I love you so much."

Josh.

I was getting tired, which was something I hadn't been feeling before. I was tired of being in the dark, tired of listening to the world through what sounded like an old radio with a bad frequency.

I started to realize that I was upsetting people, and as my memories slowly began to flood back into my brain, I began to more fully understand what was going on. A set of blue eyes appeared in the darkness. "Josh," I thought. They were the same eyes I remembered seeing before everything went dark. I was telling myself to remember that my first thoughts were of JC. I knew that I would need that information if I were able to come back into the world. I wanted to see more than these luminous eyes, suspended in space, as blue as the bottom of a flame.

"His eyelids just moved!" someone yelled. It made me feel very accomplished. Push. Push. Push. It took every ounce of my strength, but I was determined to open my eyes, determined to put everything back into proper perspective.

"Nate?" a nervous voice said. I rolled my eyes to the left and saw those blue eyes, only now they were surrounded by an entire a face. A weary, bearded face.

"Hi," I said quietly before feeling the weight of JC on top of me, pressing his cheek against mine and sobbing into my pillow. I looked around the room to see my mom, dad and Edward all standing around me, all with tears running down their faces. They were all on me in a flash, hugging and kissing me, laughing and crying. No one seemed willing to let go of me, but eventually they realized I was being crushed and started to back away.

"Am I ok?" I asked, suddenly very aware of why I was in the hospital.

"Yes," my mom cheered. "You are fine. You are wonderful. Everything is fine now." I noticed that JC kept his hand on my arm, trying to make sure this moment was real. Slowly, I was able to lift my arm and place my hand over his own.

"I will never hurt you," I thought to myself. "Never."

The doctors came into the room and slowly I began to hear what had happened. The disease had effected my kidneys badly and they began to stop functioning, causing me to fall into a coma. I was put on dialysis for several days until my kidneys finally stabilized on their own. Five days later, I woke up from my coma.

"You're telling me it's the middle of November?" I asked. It was a scary thing to not be aware of.

The doctors were worried about me having too much activity, so everyone filed out while they began to examine me. JC was the most reluctant to leave, finally justifying his exit by saying that he should probably tell his band-mates the good news. It dawned on me as he left that he must have brought a complete stop to NSYNC's tour. Not only would that anger his fans, but the media was definitely going to want to know why. I had no idea what was happening with my film, but hoped there weren't too many people out there who hated me.

The doctors said that I was recovering really well, that there was no permanent damage to my kidneys, and that I could probably be discharged soon. They said that I would need some physical therapy, since I hadn't moved in so long, and my vanity reminded me that I must be in pretty awful shape. All that working out for nothing.

I was alive. I was alive and apparently fine. My blood tests were all fine and there was no more evidence of the rare blood disease I had harbored. There was a slight chance of a recurrence, but the doctors seemed confident that I would not have one.

So much had happened, that it was extremely disappointing to realize that nothing changed the problems in my own life. Well, that wasn't exactly true. Despite my affair, despite my feelings for Bobby, I knew that I loved JC more than ever. He never left my side. How could I ever bring pain to someone who had shown me such devotion? He was the man I wanted to be with. The problem was that, under the circumstances, would I be allowed to keep him?

"Hi Josh," I said, watching him reenter the room. He looked completely worn out and had the makings of a full-grown beard.

"Hi," he said quietly, coming to stand near my bed. He looked shy and awkward, as though he was suddenly afraid to touch me.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said quickly. "It's just that I'm kind of afraid to accept it yet. I'm afraid you're going to go away again." He tentatively put his hand on my shoulder.

"Josh, I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled and sat down on the part of the bed I patted with my hand. "Mom says you never left my side."

He blushed and bit his lower lip. "I couldn't, I just kept thinking..."

"Josh, I heard you," I blurted.

"What?" He seemed confused.

"I don't know when it was, maybe it was just before I woke up, but I heard you. I heard you telling me to stay by your side." I propped myself up on my elbows. It took a lot more energy than I had anticipated. I leaned closer to him. "I came back for you."

JC grabbed my face with both his hands and kissed my lips. He was more forceful than I expected, but I think he was still proving to himself that I was really there. His hands slid down to my back as he kissed me, and I was thankful to have him supporting my weight.

"I love you," he said in between a number of soft, quick kisses.

"Are you keeping this look?" I asked, feeling his beard rub against my smooth face. I guess someone had kept up with shaving me.

"I was thinking about it," he laughed. "Do you like it?"

"I don't mind it." I said, kissing him again. "It's very survivalist."

He laid me back down and sat there, holding my hand.

"Do I look like shit?" I asked him.

"No," he said smiling. "Your black eye is gone, and that cut on your cheek is just a little line now." He traced his finger along my cheek.

"Could you bring me a mirror?" I asked. It was probably vain of me to wake up from a coma and want to know how I looked, but I don't know how someone in my situation wouldn't be curious.

"Ok," he said, standing up. "But Nate, you've lost a lot of weight."

"So have you," I said, noticing how small his frame seemed under his normally fitted clothes. You could tell JC was the type of person that would lose his already small appetite the second anything stressful happened.

He stepped out of the room for a second, then returned with a small pocket mirror. I assumed that he got it from my mom. He handed it to me and I turned it so that it was facing me.

"Fuck," I said. It wasn't really that bad. I actually looked really well rested and my skin was a normal pallor again, though I had lost the tan from Africa. What bothered me a little was that my cheeks were hollow, the skin pulled tight around my cheekbones. My face seemed smaller, making my lips and eyes seem that much bigger. It occurred to me that I could probably get some pretty good modeling jobs with this new look, but it just wasn't me.

"They could only give you so much food through a tube," JC tried to joke while I just stared at myself, touching every part of my face.

"What's your excuse?" I joked back. He shrugged and took the mirror back from me, telling me I had stared at myself for long enough. I pulled the collar of my hospital gown forward and looked down at my body, feeling like I had to reacclimate myself to it.

"Everything still there?" JC asked. I could tell he thought I was nuts.

"Not as bad as I predicted," I said with complete seriousness. "I should be able to get it all back in a couple weeks."

"Just take it easy Richard Simmons," Josh said, sitting back down on the bed. There was a quick knock and then a nurse came in with a walker.

"Well, are you ready Mr. Murray?" she asked cheerfully.

"Ready for what?" I asked, a bit scared.

"Ready for what?" JC asked, almost in unison.

"It's time to get you on your feet and see if you can urinate on your own." I looked at JC and started laughing. Life simply couldn't have been more unglamorous then it was at this moment.

"You may want to wait outside for this," I said to him.

"Wow," he said, standing up, scratching the back of his head. "As sexy as all that sounds, I think you may be right." He smiled at me warmly and I looked back at him, unable to stop smirking. "Honey," he called to the nurse. "Would you mind looking over there for a second?" he asked, pointing toward the wall on the right. She looked confused but did as she was asked. JC leaned down and gave me a long kiss on the lips, then smiled and walked out, thanking the nurse on his way.

The next morning, Edward was the first one in the room. JC had protested leaving last night, but with my prognosis good, I forced him to go back to the hotel and sleep in a real bed.

"I guess I gave you a pretty good excuse to play hooky from school and fly to Egypt."

"I've been trying to keep up with my work," he smiled. "But it was really difficult with you, well, you know."

"Thanks for coming, Edward," I said, motioning for him to come closer to me.

"You were there for me when I really needed someone," he said seriously. "I wouldn't have cared if they threw me out of school."

"Thank you," I said, extending my hand to him. He ignored it and reached down to hug me.

"I love you," he said, kissing the top of my head and then pulling away. Edward's sudden revelation startled me. My brother loved me. It felt new, but nice. "I have to go make a plane reservation," he said, walking toward the door. "Dad will kill me if I miss anymore of this semester."

"Funny," I said. "First he doesn't want you to go to Julliard, now he doesn't want you to leave."

"He's coming around," Edward smiled. "Thanks to you." He exited. It felt good to know I had done something right. He seemed happier, more confident. Still, I didn't see how I could possibly be a good person.

Having been finally left alone for a few moments, I pulled my sheets off and slid my legs off of the bed. I had been able to walk yesterday, but not to my own satisfaction, and I wanted to be able to practice by myself. Slowly, I hobbled around my room, thinking about the self-realized stud I was only a couple of weeks ago. My legs felt incredibly stiff, but I didn't feel like I would lose my balance. It was more that I felt tired very quickly, and would frequently have to stop.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I spun around rather well to see JC bounding toward me, placing his arms at my sides.

"Josh, I didn't have a stroke, I've just been lying down too long." He tentatively let go of me and looked around the room, as if he was trying to find someone to blame for me walking around by myself.

"So," he began, leading me back toward the bed. "I think I have some news you may enjoy."

"Britney Spears is on her way here to give me a personal concert?"

"Um," he laughed, "Well maybe not as great as that."

"Well, what then?"

"I'm busting you out of here," he smirked. I asked him how he could possibly do that and he said that since the doctors were all in agreement that I was completely stable, and since the hotel was just down the street, I could be moved there along with a full-time nurse that JC had arranged for. "If any problem was to happen," he assured me. "You could be back here in like five minutes."

I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. I was going to go outside. I was going to go to a place that didn't look bare and smell antiseptic. "Besides," he added. "The hospital is kind of happy to have you leave."

"Why is that?" I asked, wondering if I had done something to turn the hospital against me.

"Well, a significant group of paparazzi and press have been keeping vigil downstairs for quite a while."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"No." He looked at me sympathetically. "You've become a bit of an international sensation in this past week." I couldn't believe he was telling me this. I had become a celebrity without even realizing it. And it wasn't for my talent but for almost dying in the middle of making a film.

"Josh," I could hardly speak. "Do they know about us?"

"According to the press, your very good friend, JC Chasez, has been at your bedside since the beginning." This was overwhelming. I didn't know what to do. No one had prepared me for this. "It's been a great story for them," he said. "This gorgeous New York actor, suddenly stricken with this one in a million kind of illness, and with a pop star at his side, resulting in the cancellation of NSYNC's European tour. Pretty good stuff."

"You cancelled your tour?"

"We're rescheduling."

"Are the guys mad at you?"

"Well, they're not real happy, but I think they understand. We've lost a ton of money and I think some people are going to file lawsuits against us, but at this point I don't really give a shit. I'll pay them out of my own pocket if I have to." I looked up at him and wanted to cry. I didn't deserve to have this kind of love, but I wanted to so much. I wanted to be what he thought I was. I knew I could be from now on.

"I can't talk to them," I gasped. "I don't know what to say."

"Mr. Murray?" A nurse walked in holding a sheet of paper. "This telegram just arrived for you." She handed it over to me and I took it, noticing right away that it was from my agent, Allen.

It read: "If you don't go out there and put on a good show for the press, I'll come over there and kill you myself. So thankful to hear you have recovered. Best, Allen."

"Maybe I should go down alone," I suggested.

JC winked at me. "Experience has taught me that you have to take these moments when they come. Now seems to be your time."

The crew had sent my personal things to the hospital, so I was able to put on my own clothes. Everything looked to me like I hadn't seen it in years. Josh helped me get dressed, then left while I called Allen to find out what was happening with the film. Allen told me that they spent a few more days filming exterior scenes, used a body double for some action sequences, then decided to wrap the African unit of production and head back to the States. They were all gone. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"They said that they can recreate any backdrop you may need to finish filming later," Allen said.

"When are we scheduled to start shooting in LA?" I asked.

"In about a month. The studio took a gamble that you would be alright by then. Do you think they are right?"

"Absolutely," I said without thinking. I was confident that my health would be fine. My mind and heart were another matter.

"Now go flash them those pearly-whites," he said, wishing me a speedy recovery before hanging up.

I slowly stepped up to the podium the hospital had placed in its lobby and flashes and questions came flying from every direction. Despite my weight loss, I knew I looked pretty good, and I was not really surprised to find myself answering questions politely and with confidence and humor.

"How long have you been friends with JC Chavez?" someone asked. I gritted my teeth. I fucking hated it when people got his name wrong.

"I've been friends with JC Chasez for a long time. I met him and Justin at an after-party for a show I was doing last spring."

"Has Justin been here?" someone asked with exasperation.

"Some people are just born golden," I thought to myself in reference to Justin and the public's insatiable interest in him. I rolled my eyes and waited for the next question.

I didn't have to talk for very long. A doctor came and announced that I had to rest. The press kept shouting and taking pictures as I was led out of the lobby. What they didn't see was that I was brought out to a car and driven to the hotel.

"That was kind of fun," I said to JC when he met me in the hotel lobby. Edward and my parents were there as well. "Do you think they'll leave me alone now?"

They all started walking toward the elevator with me. JC said that there would probably be another story when I went back to work. We arrived at the top floor and entered what must certainly have been the finest hotel suite in Cairo. Even though last night was the first night JC had actually slept here, he had kept it the entire time. The windows were enormous and you could see the Nile and across the desert. I didn't want to leave.

"So this is where I've been?" I said, feeling JC put his hands up on my shoulders as I gazed out the window. I know that I shouldn't have been, but I was feeling peaceful, serene and content.

"You should rest now," my mom said. She was starting to unpack my clothes. "This is the most activity you've had in like twenty days."

"Mom, I'm fine," I said, walking over to my suitcases and closing their tops. "You don't have to do that now."

"Ok," she said, running her hand down my face and kissing my cheek. She knew that I wanted to be alone with JC. "Alright then," she began, straightening a few things up. "Now your father is going to fly home with Edward tomorrow, but I'm going to stay until you feel ready to come home also."

"Mom, you don't have to..." She held her hand up, signaling for me to stop talking.

"I'm staying," she said. "Now you rest, and maybe we'll all meet for a nice dinner tonight. Get some real food into you."

"Ok," I said. My mom liked organization as much as I did.

JC said goodbye to them and closed the door. "Come," he said, taking me by the hand and leading me into the bedroom.

"Nice place you got here," I said, slipping my shoes off with my feet. The room was huge, bathed in different shades of beige with large geometric furniture and an oversized king-size bed.

"The bed is really comfortable," he said, pulling the sheets down and patting the mattress.

"Josh, I can't believe you stayed in that crummy hospital all this time."

"Well, you had to." I knew I didn't deserve him. "Come rest," he said. I was really tired from the press conference and, sad to say, from the walk into the hotel.

"Only if you do too," I said, taking off my pants and crawling under the covers in my t-shirt and boxers.

"Ok," JC smiled. Despite a good night's sleep, he still looked exhausted. He took off his pants and laid down next to me. Immediately I snuggled up against him, laying my head on his chest, wanting to feel close to him even though I knew that I shouldn't. He ran his fingers through my hair while flipping on the television, searching for something in English. I forgot that he like TV, and had probably not seen it in a long time. It was early afternoon, but it felt nice to be in bed, watching TV with the man I loved.

I slid my hand onto his chest and slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

"Can I help you?" he asked, amused, placing his hand over mine.

"Take your shirt off," I said. "I want to feel you against me." He looked a bit reluctant, but eventually smiled and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it to the edge of the bed. I laid my face against his chest, smelling him, feeling his flesh, feeling his warmth against my face. I could feel his heart beating calmly.

"Oh," I said, smiling after I opened my eyes and saw him. "Looks like someone forgot his trimmer."

"Oh man," he blushed, looking away from me. "When I originally came to see you, I only brought stuff for a few days.

"It's ok, Josh," I said, running my hands over his slightly furry chest. "Between this and the beard you're all man, aren't you?" He nodded and I settled back down on him.

His abs were still hard as rocks and I danced my fingers on top of them, slowly making my way toward the waistband of his boxers. Given the size of his penis, I quickly realized he was hard.

"Well, well, what have we here?" I asked, laying my hand gently over his erection.

"That's not for you," he said. "Not now."

"But Josh I'm fine, it's been so long for you." I tentatively rubbed my hand back and forth over it, feeling him stiffen more.

"For you too," he said. I pretended I didn't hear him and kept rubbing.

"Come on," I said, quickly slipping my hand between his legs and running my hand up the crack of his ass, causing him to jump. "You must want it so bad."

"Nate, we shouldn't..." I cut him off by kissing him. Part of me thought that it was wrong of me to want to intimate with him after what I had done, but another part of me wanted him so badly.

Feeling his beard rub against my face, I swung my leg over him, straddling him, giving myself better access to his lips. I felt him hard underneath me as I ran my hands up and down his chest, getting him to emit small sexy sighs. Feeling his lips against mine, I couldn't understand how I had forgotten what he felt like. I no longer knew why I allowed myself to be tempted.

JC's hands rubbed my thighs, then moved to my waist. He slowly started to pull my t-shirt up and I stopped to help him, pulling it off in one criss-cross motion . He sat up and our manly chests pressed together as we kissed deeper and harder. Feeling the tension in my own shorts I slowly started to buck myself against him, rubbing my ass over his hard, cloth-covered cock.

"Nate," he panted.

"What?"

"You smell kind of like the hospital."

"Oh." I sat back down on him, feeling a little self-conscious but still playful. "Well, I'll just have to go take a shower then," I said, rolling off of him and standing up, trying to ignore the bulge in my shorts. My slow walk to the bathroom made me realize that I worked much better on the bed. JC was soon behind me and I asked him what he thought he was doing.

"You can't be in there alone," he said. He was serious. "I'll have to take one with you." He smiled and I told him that it was fine with me. The bathroom was all highly polished marble, with a giant sunken tub and a shower that was more like a small bedroom. A large, marble bench was built into it, which I found terribly convenient given that I was already tired from walking over to it.

Having not been around JC in some time, I felt a bit awkward pulling my boxers down. He simply pushed his shorts down and stepped into the big shower. His cock was no longer fully erect, but was still really thick as it hung loosely between his legs. His endowment really was a sight to behold. I wondered how much longer I would be able to see it. JC turned the water on and I stepped in behind him, pressing myself against him, kissing his smooth shoulders.

"I missed you so much," I said, kissing his neck. JC brought one hand up to my hair while he adjusted the temperature with the other.

"I don't want to make it too hot and get your blood pressure up," he said, testing the water thoughtfully.

"You make my blood pressure rise," I said, wrapping my hands around his chest. "And other things too." He could feel my cock pressing against his ass and he smiled quietly to himself before turning around to kiss me.

I showered quietly, with JC doing most of the work for me. It was hard enough just to stand there, soaping and shampooing could have ended in disaster.

"Do you want to sit down?" he asked after I was squeaky clean. My knees were feeling weak, but I wasn't sure if it was because of my illness or him.

"Yes please," I said, walking over and sitting on the bench. The marble had been warmed by the steam and was surprisingly comfortable. JC came and sat next to me and I thought that we looked like two guys in the sauna of a health club, only with large erections. Of course, depending on the health club you go to...

"Stand up," I said after we had been sitting there for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company.

"Why?" he asked, happy just to be sitting next to me. I gave him a wary look and he did as he was told, presenting me with an up close and personal view of the largest penis I had ever encountered. I wrapped my hand around its base and brought my mouth over it, taking it down to where my lips met my hand. JC groaned and I felt his hands move to the wall behind me to support his weight. He hadn't been touched in so long, the sensation was making him weak. I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, tracing its large helmet shape. I applied pressure to it with my lips, causing his slit to open and slipping the very tip of my tongue in it. He squirmed, but tried to stay still, letting me do what I want, afraid to do anything forceful. I could hear that my own breath was quickly becoming labored, but hoped that he wouldn't notice and let me continue. I wanted to do this for him. He deserved to feel the pleasure, even if I didn't.

I looked up at JC. His eyes were closed, his face contorting in an expression of pleasure and urgency. His abs were clenched tightly and I loved watching the little beads of water trickle down them. I could have started crying when I thought about the fact that I was supposed to have waited for him, and that he thought that I had. This was our reunion and I had destroyed it, all for reasons I couldn't understand. Sitting on that bench, with JC's cock slipping down my throat, I couldn't understand how I could have ever wanted anything else. I wondered if this was what all men who had affairs felt like. The thought of now being one of them made me ill.

I tried to push these thoughts out of my head and concentrate on the task at hand. I sat up, allowing myself to go further down on his huge cock, tracing his circumcision scar with my tongue, and starting to slowly bop up and down on him. My left hand played with his balls, rolling them around as I felt his sack tightening. My right hand squeezed at his ass cheek, before starting to slide up and down the crack of his ass, eliciting another moan from him as my fingers brushed up against his hole. Knowing that he would love it, in one quick motion I jabbed my index finger into his hole. He shouted and reared against it, causing his cock to push entirely into my mouth. I felt his pubes against my lips and I started to gag. I hadn't been prepared to take all of him.

"Nate," he called above me, pulling his cock out of my mouth. "Are you ok?"

"Fine," I said, catching my breath and grasping his cock once again. I wanted to continue.

"Nate, I'm sorry, maybe we should..."

"Be quiet Josh," I interrupted, taking him into my mouth again. He sighed and put his hands back on the wall. I was so enjoying the feel and taste of him, knowing that I was giving him pleasure. I wasn't even thinking about my own erection. I guess part of me didn't think I deserved to.

I kept sucking him while playing with his hole. I couldn't tell which he was enjoying more. His scrotum was tight against his body, giving me an indication that he was approaching orgasm. Wanting him to enjoy a full experience, I turned him around and pushed my face in between his cheeks, running my tongue up and down his crack, feeling the smooth tiny ridges of his anus. JC was really starting to make noise now and I saw his hand reach around to pull on his own cock as I worked his ass with my lips and tongue. I started pushing my tongue inside him, jabbing at his hole like it was a tiny prick. Using my hands, I pushed his cheeks apart, giving me better and deeper access to him.

"Oh Nate," he moaned. "Oh yeah Nate." I could see the muscles of his back tightening as his hand pounded away at his meat. He was getting close. It had been three months.

I pulled my tongue out of his ass and turned him around, taking his cock in my mouth again. This time he placed his hands on my head, making sure he applied no pressure to it. I worked my index finger back into him, all the way up to the knuckle, and for the first time in months I started to hear his chaotic yelps. At this moment everything was as it should be. We were best friends and lovers, enjoying intimacy in a way I believed we had both never experienced with someone else.

"Nate, I'm close," he moaned, trying to prepare me. I didn't care. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. Maybe in some fucked up way, it was my way of apologizing. I kept my mouth tight around his cock, sucking it, refusing to let it go.

"Nate, I'm really..." I kept sucking

"Nate, I'm gonna..." he grunted and pulled his cock from my mouth, practically shouting as he began to pump his load all over my chest. At first two or three globs of cum shot out, then he started spraying cum all over me like a sprinkler system, followed by more long, thick shoots. I had never seen someone cum so much and despite wishing I had tasted it, it was quite an amazing site to behold. The cock of JC Chasez, pumping cum all over my chest. He made so much noise the entire time that I hoped the walls were soundproofed, fearful that my parents could be in the next room.

He milked the last drops of cum out of his angry red cock, giving a final groan before dropping to his knees and laying his head in my lap. He panted quietly as I watched his cum run down my hard abdomen, relishing how good it felt to have had his warm cum splashing all over me.

"I think I'm ready for that nap now," he said. I could see that he was smiling to himself, enjoying the incredible feeling of release. Slowly he moved his head from my legs and looked at my cock, full but still resting on my thigh.

He looked up at me. "Don't you want to..."

"Maybe later," I said. I was exhausted and was worried that I would slip back into a coma if I went through the exertion of cumming. Besides, I was surprisingly satisfied, knowing I had pleasured him so much, perhaps happy that I had denied myself.

JC slowly stood up and helped me up. He took me back toward the shower to wash his juices off of me. He kept his arms wrapped around me, supporting me, enjoying the closeness.

Back in bed, under the covers, I asked him why he wouldn't cum in my mouth. It wasn't a particularly comfortable thing to ask.

"You said six months," he smiled. "What would I be if I wasn't a man of my word?" I was wondering if he only seemed so perfect suddenly because I had done something wrong. We had both agreed that we would wait until the end of November before we could stop worrying about risky behavior in our own relationship. I wondered if letting Bobby blow me had reset my clock. It was only a quick blowjob. I didn't want to think about Bobby when I was with JC, so I kissed him and settled back down on his chest, quickly letting my exhaustion overtake me and drifting off to sleep.

We had dinner as a family that night, a delicious meal catered by the waitstaff and set up in the dining room in JC's suite. Everything seemed rather perfect. Everyone was getting along and I knew that this was what life was supposed to be about. I would look over at JC from time to time, wishing beyond all wishes that I could just change one day of the past.

The next morning, the nurse came in to help me do some exercises while JC made phone calls in the other room. The nurse told me that I was doing exceptionally well. I didn't bother to tell her that determination was my strong point. After she had left, I busied myself watching Egyptian television and eating some fruit that had been brought up earlier in the morning. JC came back into the bedroom, looking shaggy and happy.

"Everything ok?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "We agreed to just finish up the last month of the tour after the New Year. Hopefully, all the fans will be happy with that." I realized that this meant that he was going to be able to be around for a long time. I was thrilled, but nervous.

"Josh, I can't believe the problems I've caused for you."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Believe me, I'm thrilled to be taking a break. Now we can really be together." I nodded and watched him walk toward the bathroom.

"I have to shower," he said. "You think I should get rid of the beard?"

I looked at him and smiled. "Yes, please." Truthfully he looked adorable with it, but I wanted to see his face again. He smiled and whistled his way inside. He was happy to not have to be worrying about me for the moment.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was mom, maybe just getting back from seeing my dad and Edward off. I pulled open the door and stood there for a moment in disbelief. I had thought they had all gone back to the States.

"Hi Bobby," I forced myself to say, wondering if it was all going to end here.

To be continued