JC and the Actor, Chapter 18, Copyright 2003 ----------
The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.
"JC and the Actor" is taking a short break (well, it's author is). Look for spankin' new chapters in two weeks...as always, your comments are important to me, and I thank you all for sticking with the story for this many chapters...mzbryan2003@yahoo.com
Chapter 18
JC rolled over in my direction when I accidentally slammed the dresser drawer shut in my haste to get dressed.
"What's going on?" he mumbled, perhaps still half-asleep. I pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a gray tank top.
"Edward is outside. He's dead drunk and falling all over the place." I looked out the window to see Edward stumbling around, laughing and talking to himself.
"Oh my God," JC said, becoming fully awake and sitting up. He saw me heading toward the door and asked me if I wanted him to come. At the moment I thought it was probably better for me to go by myself, so I told him to just hang out.
"I just hope my parents don't hear him," I said, making my exit.
I tiptoed down the hall, down the stairs and out the back door to find Edward in the back yard. The weather was still warm, and the grass was moist beneath my feet.
"Hey!" he yelled when he saw me. I moved my hands in a downward motion, hoping he would lower his voice. "Brother Nathan!" He walked over to me and hugged me tightly.
"What's going on?" I asked him, easing him off of me. His breath was positively awful. "It's really late."
"I know," he said. "But I have urgent business to discuss with you." His speech was slurred and it took him longer than usual to finish his sentences. His voice wasn't getting any quieter, so I led him further out of the yard, toward the barn.
"So?" I looked at him, thinking he had already forgotten that he wanted to talk to me. "Are you having problems with Gabby?"
"Gabby?" He started laughing again. "Problems with Gabby, problems with Gabby. Everything is a problem with Gabby."
"Like what?" I asked. Through experience I had found that it was best to talk to drunken people as though they weren't.
"Gabby has the rest of our lives planned. All I have to do is sit back and enjoy the ride."
"You're kind of young to have your whole life decided."
"I know!" he yelled, slapping me on the chest to show his agreement. "That's what I'm saying. Wait a minute. Why are we talking about Gabby?"
I was as confused as he was. "I thought that's what you wanted to talk about."
"Gabby? I don't give a shit about Gabby." His dilated pupils made me realize how nice his pale blue eyes are normally.
"Edward," I scolded. I didn't know the girl, but figured he shouldn't talk about her that way.
"You are so brave, you know that?" he asked. "You do exactly what you want, and you don't care what anybody says."
"Who is telling you what to do?"
"No one," he said. "Everyone," he corrected. "Everyone is pulling on me like a puppet." He extended his palms toward me and waved them up and down. "No strings attached!" he sang. I couldn't help but smile at the circus in front of me. "Oh shit, you were probably asleep with Josh, huh?" he asked, suddenly concerned.
"It's like four in the morning, Edward."
He started laughing again. "I can't believe you bagged a celebrity, Nate!"
"Edward," I said stiffly, not liking where this was going.
"Come on, Nathan, tell me, who does who?"
"Edward, I'm tired, make a point and make one quick."
Edward started fumbling around in his pockets, eventually fishing out an envelope. He handed it to me. It was crumpled and dirty. The return address read Julliard. I opened it up and saw that it was a letter, accepting Edward for the fall term. It was dated from three weeks ago.
"Oh my God," I shouted. "Edward this is incredible."
"Yeah, it's everything I want, and nothing I can have." He pulled the letter from me and started staring at it.
"Why do you say that, Edward? This is the opportunity of a lifetime."
"Try telling that to everyone else. My grandmother. Your father."
"He's our father Edward, I don't mind you saying so." He smiled and pretended to blush. "Did he say that you can't go?"
"He doesn't even know I applied. He made it clear long ago that I was going to go to Dartmouth or some other top university and become a professional." I could no longer tell what emotions he was projecting. He could have been laughing or crying.
"Why didn't you just tell him that you want to be a professional musician? It's your life, you have to do what you want."
Edward stopped swaying and looked at me like I had just said something very stupid. "I can't do what I want! I owe your father, our father, whatever, everything. I can't guilt him into letting me do what I want the way you did."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that there was no way in hell your father was going to stop you from moving to New York after he just revealed that he had a bastard child. You got a free ride. But you don't get that when you left, I was the only son he had. He put everything into me. He's paid for everything for me, and he's made me feel like I am part of a family. How do I not become what he has planned for me?"
"I'm sure if you explain to him..."
"No!" he yelled, and started staggering around again. "He won't listen. Last fall I talked about going to a conservatory and he said that he wouldn't allow me to become another starving, loser artist. He told me that I could always have music as a hobby, but that was it. I tried to bring it up a few more times, but he wouldn't listen."
Edward was gritting his teeth and becoming very emotional. I couldn't understand why my father would act in this way. I had always thought he supported my career, but I now wondered if it was just because he was afraid to get in my way. My dad did have the tendency to be controlling. I remembered that from my early childhood, but it was the shear force or my own stubbornness that kept him from telling me what to do. I started to feel very guilty. Because I left, my father had put all of his energies into Edward, and had made him a nervous wreck.
"Edward," I started, not realizing what I was about to say. "If you're afraid he won't pay for your school don't. I'll pay for it if that is really what you want to do."
His eyes widened and he looked up at me. He was three or four inches shorter than I was. "You would do that?" he asked, his voice shaking.
"You have to follow your dreams. How could I claim to think anything different?" Edward's eyes filled with water and he started sobbing, collapsing onto the grass in front of the barn. I wondered if I wasn't well equipped enough to handle him. After all, I was just an actor.
"God, I just hate everything sometimes," he sobbed. "I just want to leave, I just want to leave." He had tucked his knees under his chin and was rocking back and forth. I resolved myself that if he did one more strange thing, I was going to call the paramedics. "And now you think I just want your money. You don't even like me."
I kneeled down onto the ground next to him and timidly tried to put my hand on his leg. "Edward, you have to relax, ok buddy? We can work everything out. I think you just had a little too much to drink tonight, and it's making it hard for you to communicate."
"I don't want to be sober anymore," he cried, though less intensely. He seemed to be slightly aware that it was a bit unusual for a guy his age to be crying in front of a guy my age, and he was trying to straighten himself up. "It just gets to be too much, you know? Everyone pulling at me, everyone thinking that I destroyed an upstanding family, everyone thinking that I'm going to marry Gabby. Half of this town is just waiting to see if the little bastard will fail at something, and so I've spent my life making sure I did everything perfect." He looked up at me for a moment, a look of bewilderment crossing over his face. God," he said, wiping his nose. "Why am I telling all of this to you?" He stood up and wandered into the barn.
To be honest, I didn't know why he was telling all of this to me. Maybe it was because I was basically a stranger, but maybe it was because he knew that on some level, we were very much alike. I felt helpless watching him wobble around, holding back his tears. I wanted to get help but didn't think I should involve my parents. I also knew he would be mortified to have JC see him like this.
The only thing that I could tell for sure was that this wasn't just about wanting to go to Julliard. Edward was more disturbed than I had ever contemplated. Not that I ever really gave him much thought until this weekend.
I went into the barn and found him at the back of it, staring out of one of the large windows. He glanced over at me, then looked back out the window.
"Do you want me to take you home?" I asked quietly.
"Where is that?" he said softly. We both stood there for a few moments, completely silent.
"Do you want to know how I got into Dartmouth?" he asked eventually. I think this was turning into a cathartic experience for him.
"How?" I asked him.
"I took pills all last year. Stuff that keeps you awake. You'd be amazed at how much you can study when you have all the hours of your day at your disposal."
"Do you still take them?" I asked calmly.
"No," he said. "What's New York like?"
"Um, it's great, you know, lots of different people, lots of stuff to do."
"I want to leave, but I'm afraid to go," he said eventually. "This town is all I know, but I never felt like I belonged." He looked at me again. "Wow, guess I pretty much ruined any chance of us having a relationship, huh?" He feigned a smile.
I walked up to him, turned him so that he was facing me, and hugged him to me. He started sobbing again as I felt his arms tighten around my back. I was so overwrought by this point that tears started falling down from my eyes as well. I had never seen anyone in this much pain, and all I wished for was to be able to make it go away.
Edward's crying suddenly stopped and immediately after he became incredibly heavy in my arms. His weight was pulling me toward the ground and I realized he must have passed out. I had to use all of my strength to keep us from crashing onto the floor, and I was able to gently place him down.
"What a fucking mess," was all I could think to myself as I stood there, looking down at my unconscious brother. I couldn't very well leave him lying on the barn floor, but I also felt like I owed it to him to not alert my parents to his condition. Gathering up my strength again, I bent down and picked him up. He was a thin and wiry kid, and he looked even smaller under these circumstances. With one hand under his back, and the other under his knees, I started walking back toward the house. As I got closer I saw that my bedroom light was still on. Soon after, I saw JC stick his head out the window. I made a gesture to him with my head, and luckily he knew what I was trying to say because moments later he was at the back door, holding it open as I carried Edward inside. JC helped me bring Edward upstairs and into the guest room. His clothes were all muddy and dirty from rolling around on the ground, so I pulled his shirt and pants off, along with his shoes and socks. We eased him under the covers, and walked back into my bedroom.
"What happened?" JC asked, closing the door behind him. I collapsed onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I told JC everything that had happened. I think I was hoping that someone would tell me what I was supposed to do, even though I doubted JC would have the answers. JC crawled up next to me on the bed and put his arm around me.
"I should have been around more to protect him," I said. "He's quiet so you can walk all over him. I could have been his voice." I rolled to my side so that JC and I were face to face on the bed. His big blue eyes were staring at me, full of warmth and compassion. "I always end up ruining our time together with my own shit, don't I?" I asked. It wasn't fair and I knew it. Our relationship was far too new to expose him to every problem my family or I had. I felt like I was probably a little more than he had signed up for.
"I don't mind," he said. I realized we were whispering. "I think this might be worth it." He moved his head and kissed me.
"But you could have anybody. Everybody. Whatever you want. There are plenty of hot guys out there who don't have my problems."
"They're not you," he said.
"But Josh, if it's just one new issue everyday, the romance in our relationship is just going to die. You want some happy-go-lucky person who is consistent, always looking to have a good time."
"I would want to shoot a person like that," he smiled. "Now stop thinking that you and I are in jeopardy every time some crisis happens. You and I are a couple and that's that. If we have problems, we have problems. We'll deal with it. Ok?"
"Ok," I said, too tired to be stubborn. "I love you."
"I love you too." We kissed briefly, then got back under the covers and drifted off to sleep.
On Sundays, everyone slept in, and I welcomed the chance to be able to make up for the hours of sleep I lost last night. I was pretty sure that Edward would be asleep for a long time, so I let myself wake up at a natural pace. Opening my eyes, I reached for my watch to find that it was just after nine. Turning over, I also found that I was in bed alone. I flirted with the idea that JC had decided to get as far away from this family that he could, but I knew that wasn't his personality.
Rubbing my eyes on the way to the bathroom, I passed by the guest room where I heard voices talking quietly. Slowly pushing the door open, I stuck my head in to see JC sitting on the bed, talking to a very weary-looking Edward. JC waved me in, so I entered, closing the door behind me.
"I was just talkin' music with the light-weight," JC said. Edward feigned a smile but I could tell it hurt him to move his face.
"How are you feeling?" I asked Edward, stepping closer to him.
"Ok I guess," he said. I didn't remember how I got here, but Josh told me."
"You don't remember anything?" I asked, wondering if that may be for the best.
"Well," he said rolling his eyes up. "I remember enough."
"At least we know he doesn't always drink like that," JC laughed.
"Does your father know I'm here?" Edward asked, looking concerned.
"No," I answered. "We can sneak you out of here if you don't want him to know, or we can just say that you came over to hang out last night."
"I don't want to tell him about Julliard," he said sternly.
"But it's an opportunity to do what you love," JC said.
"No, I want to make him proud. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings," Edward stated.
"Well," I began. "I'm going to tell him."
"What?" Edward gasped, sitting up violently. "You can't. It's my decision." He grabbed his head, the pain obviously intense.
"Edward, you said you admire that I've always done what I want. Well, I want to help you. I obviously have no problem pissing off our father, so I'll bare the brunt of it, and you get to start packing for Julliard."
"But you can't," he pleaded. "I don't even know if I want to go. I'm afraid to..." He looked at JC and stopped his sentence. Shortly thereafter I saw his hand reach up to his mouth and I knew this wasn't going to be good. "Oh God," he moaned. "I think I'm gonna..." He tried his best to lean over the bed before he started vomiting violently. JC ran to make sure the door was firmly closed, and I stood by Edward, holding onto his shoulder while waiting for him to finish.
"It's ok," I said, knowing that the poor kid must be completely humiliated. "We've all been there at some point." He finished and I helped him lay back down. I asked JC to go get a towel from the bathroom while I crept downstairs to get some cleaning supplies. When I got back, JC had helped Edward clean himself up and had put a cool washcloth on his head.
"The room won't stop spinning," Edward said. I think that he had resigned himself to the belief that he was going to feel this way forever.
"Sitting up is always the moment of truth," I laughed, cleaning up the floor as quickly as possible. Luckily, the floors were wood, and there was no rug.
"I remember this one time I had gotten so drunk that I..." I glared at JC and he stopped talking. This wasn't the time to trade drinking stories. "Never mind," he ended.
I heard a door open and knew that my parents must be up. I stepped out of the room to find my mom walking down the hall.
"What are you doing in the guest room?" my mom asked.
"Edward is here," I answered calmly and matter-of-factly. After all, I was an actor. "He came over last night and we got to talking until it was so late that I thought he should stay."
"Oh," she said smiling. "You two are getting along?"
"Oh yeah, we love each other to death now," I laughed.
"Ok," she said, looking at me strangely. "Well, tell him that breakfast will be ready soon."
"Will do," I said, going back into the room.
"She's making breakfast!" I yelled as quietly as possible.
"Oh God!" cried Edward. "I can't eat anything."
I wasn't really worried about him not being hungry. "They can't see him like this," I said.
"What are we supposed to do?" JC asked.
"I don't know," I answered. "Hmm, maybe you could take him out?"
"Take him where?" JC asked, not seeming very enthusiastic.
"I can't get up," Edward added.
"Look," I started. "Unless you want daddy dearest to see you playing the part of the drunken monkey, you're going to have to pull it together." I looked over at JC. "I'll tell them Edward wanted to take you to Sally's. It's a little breakfast place in town. Not to be missed."
"I don't want to eat," Edward chimed in again. My patience was wearing thin.
"Maybe you should take him?" JC suggested, not really wanting the responsibility.
"I need to talk to somebody," I said, lowering my eyebrows at him. "My parents are probably both in the kitchen now. I'll go down and distract them while you take Edward out of the house." I turned to Edward. "Did you drive here last night?" He nodded and I told him he could have gotten himself killed. I looked back at JC. He shrugged his shoulders and started helping Edward slowly sit up again.
"Ok, kid," JC said, handing Edward his shirt and pants. "This ain't gonna be too comfortable." Edward frowned and fumbled with his shirt, unable to find the opening. JC took it from him and pulled it over his head.
"Thanks," Edward said. I hurried down the stairs to find my parents. Luckily they were both in the kitchen. I told them that Edward took JC into town for breakfast.
I sat down at the table and my mom brought over a platter of bacon and eggs. I certainly couldn't continue eating this way since I would soon be in front of the camera, but one weekend wouldn't kill me. I heard a car start, and sighed with relief. Normally I would have thought that a night like last night would stop Edward from drinking again, but something kept telling me that there was more to his despair than wanting to study at a conservatory.
I sat there, looking at my father, thinking now that he had done a pretty good job of screwing up both of his kids. I started wondering if part of him didn't respect what I was doing for a living, despite his words to me yesterday.
I was trying to think of the best way to approach my dad about Edward, but as I thought more and more about Edward's upset, I knew I was going to get angry and deal with it how I usually dealt with things. Total confrontation.
My mom finished saying something I wasn't really listening to and I lowered my fork onto my plate. I looked directly at my dad and said flatly, "Edward was accepted to Julliard and he is going."
"What?" my dad said. Both of my parents were staring at me.
"And," I continued. "If you're not willing to pay for it, I will, so there's really no room for discussion."
"Wait a minute," my dad said. "I am his father."
"You seem to have a pretty loose definition of what that word means," I countered.
"Nathaniel," my mom said.
"A father is supposed to help a child realize their dreams, not stomp on them and say they can't come true."
"Did I stop you?" my father asked. He looked like he was still in shock that I was yelling at him.
"You didn't have a choice," I snapped. "It was your way of apologizing for screwing around behind our backs."
"Nathaniel, stop!" my mom said strongly.
I ignored her and kept my attention on my dad. "Do you not notice what a basket case Edward is? It's because you've been controlling his life since he was ten. And the poor kid so wants something to belong to that he did anything you wanted him to do."
"Nathan," my dad said. "This really isn't your place. "You just show up and in one day you decide you're his brother and that you're going to take care of him? I've been taking care of him all these years."
"Yeah, well you've done a shitty job."
"Edward wants to go to Dartmouth," my mom said.
"No mom," I yelled. "Edward doesn't want to go to Dartmouth. Edward doesn't want any of this."
"But why didn't he just say something?" she asked. "I don't want him to be unhappy. I didn't even know he was applying to conservatories." She turned toward my father and he was faced with both of our stares. "You told him he couldn't go?" she asked my dad.
I could tell that he felt cornered and he stood up. "Yes," he said after taking a deep breath. "I told him that it was a stupid idea, that it was a pipe dream. I want him to be something solid, something important."
"Unlike me?" I said, standing up as well. "You think what I do is unimportant?"
"No Nathan, but you were lucky. For every one of you, there are thousands getting by as waiters and waitresses. I'm not going to have Edward playing the piano in some Lower East Side dive while he waits for the Boston Philharmonic to call."
"You think I got where I am because of luck?" I could feel my face getting flushed with anger. "You son of a bitch, I worked my ass off to get as far as I have. And I did it on my own. That's something I would respect in a son."
"You did it with my money," he said. Something told me that this wasn't the direction he wanted the conversation to go, but he was trying to win, just as I was. "You didn't have to struggle."
"Do you want the money for my tuition back? I'll write you a check. Maybe then you'll feel ready to go knock up some other broad."
"Ok, both of you just stop this," my mom said.
"I never cared about your approval," I continued, glaring at him. "But you know Edward does, so you use him to feel like you can control something."
"Don't psychoanalyze me," he said.
"Well what else is it, dad? You can't take your money with you, you know? And I certainly don't need it. Why not just give it to Edward and let him do what he wants?"
"I can't believe this," my mother said, standing up as well. She turned to my father. "I can't believe you would decide all of this for Edward without talking it over with me. I know he's not my son, but I always treated him like he was. You must have made him think that he couldn't turn to me either." She glared at him and started walking toward the kitchen door. "After all these year, you're still keeping secrets," she said, before disappearing out the doorway.
"Nice job Nathan," my dad said. "Another fine performance."
"Fuck you," I said. "Thank God I left here when I did." I walked toward the door. "You are going to tell Edward that he can go to Julliard, and however long it takes you to do it, make sure you tell him in a way that makes him think that he has a father and a family that love him."
"We're right back where we started Nathan." my dad said. He was visibly upset, but couldn't back down. We were similar in ways.
I looked back at him, then turned and headed out the door. I went upstairs and saw my mom, sitting on the bed in her room.
"You ok, mom?" I asked.
"I don't really know what to make of all this," she said calmly. "Your father's approach is so wrong for so many things, but I can't see him making these decisions with malice."
"Well, he's really hurting people. Edward wasn't just reluctant to tell dad about Julliard. He was completely hysterical. He begged me not to tell him." I sat down on the bed next to her.
"Something is wrong with Edward," she said. "I think I've always felt that there was, but now I feel sure of it. I used to just think that he was unhappy about not having his mother, but it's more, isn't it?" She looked at me intently.
"I don't really know," I said. "But making him become a lawyer or get an MBA isn't going to fix him. He has to be able to do what he wants."
"He will," she said, patting my arm. "I will make sure of it. Why don't you go find the boys?" she smiled. "I'll take care of your father." I nodded, kissing her on the cheek before standing up. I apologized for being so direct downstairs but she said she understood that it was my way, and that she was glad it was all out in the open.
In my room, getting dressed after a quick shower, my cell phone began to ring and I ran about the room, trying to find its location.
"Hello?" I called into it, just before it would have gone to my voice mail.
"How's it going?" JC asked. I told him briefly what had happened.
"So, was there any resolution?" he asked, sounding a bit confused.
"I guess not, but there will be. Edward will definitely be going to Julliard. How is he doing?" JC said that Edward was feeling a bit better. He had taken him back to his house and met his grandmother.
"She's really, really old," JC whispered into the phone.
"So, do you want me to come meet you there?
There was a pause. "Um, actually, why don't you come down to the town inn."
"The town inn?" I asked, wondering what was up.
"Yeah, I, uh, well, I tried to think about how you might approach your father, and I thought that if I was right, that you, uh, probably might not want to stay there anymore."
"Wow, that's really sweet Josh. But you're still a guest in this house. I'm not going to be forced out of my own house."
"Don't think of it that way," he said. "Just think of it as a brief, extra vacation."
JC told me that he was in room 211, and that he had left a key for his "cousin" with the front desk. I packed up our stuff quickly, at the moment quite happy to be leaving the house. I stepped out of my room and could hear my parents' voices from inside their room. They sounded calm, so I continued on my way. I hadn't contemplated my mother being Edward's advocate, but was confident that she would do a better job than I ever could. I knew that she could even do it without resorting to vulgarity.
"Nathaniel!" Charlie from the front desk yelled. "So good to see you again."
"Hi Charlie," I smiled, wishing that this town wasn't so small. "My, uh, cousin left a key for me."
"Oh yes," he said, connecting me with JC's request. "Here you are. Good looking boy that cousin of yours is."
"Yes," I laughed. "He is." I took the key and headed toward the staircase. The inn was only three stories tall.
"You going to show him a good time while he's in town?" he called after me.
"I'll do my best," I called back, ascending the staircase to the second floor.
Instinctively, I knocked on the door, but not hearing a quick response, I used my key. I walked in to find a very quaint room that was consistent with the small hotel's colonial feel. There was a large king sized four-poster bed that probably made much less noise than mine did. JC was nowhere in sight and I wondered if he had stepped out to get something. It was when I walked into the room that I saw light flickering from the bathroom. The door was only slightly ajar, and I could tell that the main lights were turned off. I slowly pushed open the door to reveal small groupings of tall candles, placed in various parts of the room, casting a warm glow in the darkened space. The shades were drawn, and the centerpiece of the room was a large Jacuzzi tub, filled with bubbles, and containing one JC Chasez.
"Hey cousin," I smiled, stepping inside.
"Close the door," he said. Even in the dim light, his eyes were still bright. I walked over and sat down on the marble platform surrounding the tub.
"Looks pretty cozy in there," I said.
"I must confess," he said, biting his lip. "I wasn't sure if this was sexy or really embarrassing."
"Trust me, Josh." I leaned down and kissed him. "It's sexy." He smiled and settled back down into the water. I saw his eyes move to my hands, causing me to look down at them as well. They were slightly shaking.
"Are you ok?" he asked, a look of concern washing over his face as he moved back toward me.
"Yeah," I nodded. "I just think I may be losing my touch. Telling my father off must take a lot more out of me than it used to. It must be this whole becoming a good person thing." JC reached out of the water and clasped his wet hands around my own. He had beautiful, slender and well-manicured hands. He reached down with lips and kissed my hands. I must have felt cold, because I could feel myself getting warmer. "So, you think there is room for one more in there?" I asked.
He smiled and once again pushed back into the tub. He was well covered by the bubbles, but I could see his shoulders and the top of his chest, the short trim hairs wet against his clear skin. I stood up and pulled my t-shirt off in one fluid motion. I could feel JC's eyes on me, watching every move I made. I kicked off my shoes, pulled of my socks, and lowered my jeans, stepping out of them as they hit the floor. Smiling briefly at him, I hooked my fingers under the waistband of my shorts, and pulled them down. I admit I slowly exaggerated this last step, letting JC watch the fabric slowly move down my thick thighs and well-developed calves. Fully nude, I stood there for a moment, and asked JC if he liked what he saw. He nodded, and I stepped into the tub, sitting down on the opposite end that he was. He took my foot in his hands and started to massage it.
"Oh, that feels good," I moaned, closing my eyes and resting my head against the back of the tub. We talked a bit about my father and Edward. JC said that I had done everything I could, and now it was really up to them to work it out. It was true that Edward knew I was willing to put him through Julliard if necessary, so I guess he really just had to decide if he wanted to go.
"I promise," I said. "Sometime we will be together with no drama surrounding us."
"Did we have drama in Los Angeles?" he asked. I remembered that back then I was wrapped up in my own drama with Lance. Something JC still knew nothing about.
"I guess not," I said quietly.
"Come over here," JC motioned. I maneuvered myself around so that my back was lying against his chest. His legs parted to make room for me and I could feel his cock, lying against my backside. It wasn't fully hard, but definitely started moving once I was up against it. I had never felt JC against me in the water like this. It was sensual, like we were both suddenly made of silk. He wrapped his arms around me, dancing his fingers up and down the ladder of my abdominals. I could feel my own cock growing hard underneath the water, but so far JC wasn't paying any attention to it.
He moved his hands up to my shoulders and started massaging them hard. I was so tense that it was painful, but it felt so good at the same time. I could feel the large muscles relaxing as he continued to rub them, working all the knots out.
I could tell that his cock was now hard against me. It was up against the crack of my ass and traveled up beyond my waist. I turned and smiled at him as he slid his hands back down onto my chest. He traced the outline of my pecs, and briefly moved over my nipples before sending his hands down under the water, grabbing my hard cock.
"Your enjoying this" he laughed.
"So are you." I laughed back, wiggling my back against his own hard member. He stroked me slowly, not trying to get me off, but to get me excited. Under the water, his hands inspected every part of my cock, every vein, every part of the head. One of his hands cupped my balls and softly started to roll them around, lightly pulling on their sack. I was silent and content for a while, but soon started to make little noises.
I needed to give him some attention. I rolled over so that our chests pressed together. I kissed him deeply, pushing my tongue in as far as it would go. His own tongue wrapped around my own and I felt his hands grab onto my ass, holding me tight against him.
"I love you," he moaned when my lips left his and fastened onto his neck.
"I love you," I answered, kissing the wet hollow of his throat. I extended my tongue and traced it down his right shoulder. My cock was hard against his washboard stomach, and I could feel my excitement increasing. I pulled his hands off my ass and raised them above his head. I pushed my face into his hairy armpit, licking and pulling, enjoying the access I had to this beautiful boy. I couldn't help but think of the thousands of people who must fantasize about being with him, touching his slim, sexy body. But he was all mine, mine for the taking.
JC moaned as I moved to his other armpit before sliding my mouth down to his nipples, which hovered just above the water. I took his left nipple into my mouth, biting it, feeling it expand in the warmth of my mouth. I licked across his chest, biting the tiny hairs along the way until I reached his right nipple. I slowly started to back away from him, my tongue sliding down his chest as I lifted his body above the water. I was between his legs, holding his ass, his cock raised out of the water. It was hard and red form the hot water, and it snaked up his stomach, resting on his thigh. He had obviously just shaved because his balls and the area between them and his ass was completely smooth.
I bent over and fastened my lips around the head of his cock, causing him to moan in delight. I went down on it halfway, whipping my tongue all over it. I pulled my mouth of off his stiff prick, and started to wildly lick it up and down, giving special attention to the area between the head and his circumcision scar. JC floated on his back, watching my every move.
I took a deep breath and deep-throated him, nearly gagging in the process. JC truly had the largest and most beautiful cock I had ever had the pleasure of coming into contact with. A look of satisfaction swept across my face as my nose brushed up against his damp pubes. I noticed JC's abs crunching as I did this, and after doing it a few more times I pulled my mouth off of him and began an oral assault on his balls. JC gave a high-pitched sigh as my mouth found the spot just above is hole, and started lapping at it like a kitten does to milk. I was still holding him up by his ass, and my fingers began to dance around his crack, eliciting further moans from above.
"Roll over," I said, pushing his body back into the water. I saw his blue eyes beam at me just before he turned over onto his knees, placing his ass right in front of me. I could see his tight hole, tempting me, hovering just above the water. I reached over to the edge of the tub and picked up a new bar of soap. Dipping it into the water, I slowly brought it up to his hole, and slowly started to slide it up and down his crack.
"Ooooh," he moaned. "That feels nice." The guy clearly liked any interaction with his ass, and I was more than happy to provide it. I slid the white bar of soap up and down him a few times then, without thinking, I started pushing the end of it up against his hole. "Uuuuh," he yelped, but made no motion for me to stop. I didn't know what I was doing, but I was getting excited by the level of trust he had in me. Keeping a tight grip on one end, I pushed the other end of the oval-shaped soap into his ass, watching the lips of his anus clamp around it, trying to push it out. JC lowered his head to his chest, moaning softly, and I looked at the beautiful triangular shape created between his shoulders and torso. After a few more strokes, I removed the soap and replaced it with my fingers. My index finger slipped deep inside him, moving the soap around, feeling parts of him I never had. I touched his prostate, causing JC to moan loudly. His ass felt tight and thick. I removed my finger and dipped his ass down into the water, rinsing the soap away.
"That was different," he sighed when I brought it back out of the water.
"You want to feel something else that's different?" I asked him.
"Sure," he said. "Do what you want. It's yours." I spread his cheeks apart with my hands and pushed my face into his crack. MY tongue found his wrinkled hole and started pushing to get inside.
"Oh fuck," JC groaned, pressing back against me. His hole was opened by the bar of soap, making it easy for my tongue to explore him. After reaching as far as I could, I withdrew and started licking around his hole, feeling its wrinkly ridges, sliding my tongue from top to bottom.
"It's so good," JC said.
"I've been wanting to do this for so long," I panted, going back in for more. It was strange that I had not rimmed JC before, but like I said, it was always hard to decide what to do with JC since I wished I could be doing it all at once. After a few more minutes of this JC pulled away from me and flipped around, straddling me and causing some water to fly out of the tub. He maneuvered himself in between my crotch and my cock, and pressed my cock into the crack of his ass.
"I'm ready for you," he said in a low voice. My cock, trapped between his hand and his ass was on fire, ready to explode despite the fact that I hadn't even been touching it.
"Josh," I said. "We don't have anything here."
"I trust you," he said, nipping at my lips with his own. I felt him position the head of my cock at the entrance to his hole, and all I could think about was how much I wanted this.
"Josh, we shouldn't, it's not safe." I was on the verge of just pushing myself into him, but my damn common sense was working against me.
"But you're the only one I want," he pleaded, teasing my cock with his hole some more.
"We've always been cautious, Josh. We shouldn't stop now. I could never live with myself if I knew I had given you something."
His hand grasped my cock and slightly pulled it away from his hole. "We really have to wait the whole six months?" he asked, his eyes wide like a baby's.
I nodded, grabbing the back of his head and pulling his lips to mine. It was the responsible thing to do. I didn't know whom JC had been with before me, and he knew that Mark had cheated on me.
We positioned ourselves so that our cocks pressed up against each other, JC on top of me. We began a slow rocking up and down. JC grasped both of our cocks in one hand and started tugging them together. My hands once again grabbed his ass, pulling him down onto me. Our rhythm quickened and I brought two of my finger to his hole, working them inside.
"Oh yeah," he panted. "Do that. Finger my hole." I did as I was told as we started grinding against each other faster and faster. His grip was tight around our cocks and the sensation was quickly building to a climax.
"Oh God, Josh. I'm gonna cum!" JC could only moan as he too, neared the end. I saw his neck muscles tightening as we simultaneously began pumping our loads into the water. We were both moaning wildly. The pressure of his hand, and feeling his cock against my own made my orgasm particularly intense. JC bit down gently onto my shoulder as he continued to rock himself against me, waiting for his orgasm to subside.
We were both soon drained of energy, panting, holding onto each other like we were afraid to let go. I held JC's head against my chest, stroking his damp hair, telling him how beautiful he was. The candles were half melted and we both would have fallen asleep were it not for our mutual fear of drowning. Ever so slowly we made our way out of the tub. We slipped on the bathrobes provided by the hotel and cuddled together on the bed.
"This was a very unexpected surprise," I said, looking down at his head once again resting on my chest.
"A much needed one," he replied. "I wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow."
"Me too," I said, suddenly feeling very sad.
"So," he said, looking up at me with his bright eyes. "Is it six months starting from when we met?"
"Unless you've been sleeping with someone else," I laughed, though the idea wasn't particularly funny.
"So, by the end of October, if all goes well we can start doing it whenever, wherever?"
"Consider it your Halloween present."
"I just want to be as close to you as possible," he smiled. I smiled back and leaned down to kiss him.
A couple of hours must have passed, and we must have nodded off, because we were suddenly startled by the sound of JC's cell phone.
"That may be Edward," he said, fumbling around for the phone. "I gave him my number in case he wanted to reach us." It was Edward and he was calling to thank us for putting up with him since last night. JC told him not to worry about it. Edward then asked if we wanted to come over for dinner. His grandmother was going to a social event at her church and he was going to prepare his self-proclaimed famous grilled cheeses. While I was content to just spend the rest of the evening at the hotel, I told JC to tell him we would come.
"It's kind of cute that he wants our company, don't you think?" JC asked, looking for his socks.
"Just adorable," I laughed.
We arrived at Edward's house and he answered the door looking much better than he had this morning. The color was back in his cheeks, and his eyes were a nice pale blue again.
"My head still hurts like the devil," he laughed. "But I'm not afraid to move anymore."
We sat down in the living room and I realized that this was the first time I had set foot in this house. The house belonged to his grandmother, and it is where he lived with his mother until her death. It didn't look like it had been updated since his grandmother was a young bride, and it had a generally depressing feel to it.
"That's my mom's piano," he said pointing to the old wooden piano on the far wall. "She's was my first teacher."
"Well come on, play something," JC urged, motioning Edward toward the piano. Edward reluctantly went and sat by it, followed by a very interested JC.
"What should I play?" he asked.
"Play one of JC's songs," I said, not really sure why.
"Oh, I, um, I don't think I know any..."
"Oh that's ok," JC said. "I realize my songs aren't complicated enough for someone as talented as you."
"Don't say that," Edward said seriously. "I really liked that one song you did. Let me see, um..." He started playing a few chords of JC's "Selfish," a song I hadn't really noticed the piano on, but had loved JC's vocals. Edward was soon recalling the song with exact precision and one didn't have to be a piano player to understand the quality of his playing.
JC began to hum along with him, and soon he was actually singing. It was the first time I had heard him sing in such an intimate setting, and my heart jumped at the sound of his voice.
"You can call me selfish," he sang, "But all I want is your love. You can call me hopeless, baby, 'cuz I'm hopelessly in love, you can call me unperfect, but who's perfect, tell me what do I got to do, to prove that I'm the only one for you, so what's wrong with being selfish?" His voice was like velvet and the more he sang, the more he developed the confidence people saw in him when he was on stage. He didn't look at me while he sang, which was probably good since I might have become very embarrassed. But it sounded like he could have been singing to me, and I wondered if he ever thought of me when he did sing.
Edward finished playing and JC clapped for him, telling him what an incredible sound he had.
"I wish I could touch the keys like that," JC said. Edward blushed and feigned a slight bow from the piano bench.
"One would say you are probably insane if you don't go to a school like Julliard," I said, stepping up to the two of them.
"Nate, I told you, I..."
"It's all out in the open now, Edward," I said. "I understand that you don't want to go against our father, and I admire that, but what he is doing is wrong, and you shouldn't have to worry about your status as a son by following your dreams. I'm pretty sure that by the time the summer is over, you will have his full support, both emotionally and financially."
"Do you really think so?" Edward asked meekly. There was a flickering in his eyes.
"Yes, I do. Dad will try to get away with the things he can get away with. But once he's cornered, he'll realize that he is not doing what is best for you, and he will rectify it." I knew that my father wasn't a fundamentally bad person. He was just flawed, like so many of us.
"Wow," Edward said. "I don't even know how to plan for doing this." He looked up at me. "How can I thank you for speaking up for me?"
"Don't thank me," I said. "Just think of it as my way of apologizing for being an asshole for the past nine years."
"I don't think you're an asshole," Edward said seriously.
"Me neither," JC laughed. We both laughed as well, and we all headed into the kitchen.
"You know," JC began, taking a bottle of soda out of the refrigerator. "This means leaving that pretty little girlfriend of yours?"
"Yeah," Edward nodded. "What kind of cheese do you guys like?"
Late that night, JC and I cuddled close together in the large hotel bed.
"You did a lot of good work up here this weekend," JC said. I smiled at him slyly. "With Edward I mean," he laughed, lightly elbowing me in the side.
"I hope I did the right thing," I said. "I hope Edward is ready for all of this."
"He sure does seem scared about moving to New York," JC said. "He must have asked you a thousand questions about it."
"I know, I'm not sure why though. It kind of sucks that he'll be getting there just as I am leaving to go film." JC nodded. "I guess he is worried that all of the people are going to be so different from what he is used to."
"Isn't that how you felt when you went there?" JC asked.
"Yeah, but I loved it. Small town life definitely wasn't for me."
"So I guess we won't be buying a summer home up here someday?" JC laughed, snuggling under my chin.
"Do you really see us buying real estate together?" I asked, thinking I was kidding but realizing I actually wanted to know the answer.
"Sure," he said. Where else are all the little Nate's and Josh's going to play?" I smiled widely at him and we were soon kissing passionately. That was a really good answer.
To be continued