JC and the Actor, Chapter 11, Copyright 2003
The following story is entirely a work of fiction. It is not meant to imply anything about the sexuality or the personal lives of the members of NSYNC, or any other celebrities mentioned. If you are underage, or if it is illegal to read sexually explicit gay material where you live, don't read this.
Thanks to everyone who has written so far and I encourage those of you who haven't to drop me a line, letting me know what you think. mzbryan2003@yahoo.com
Get it while it's hot...
Chapter 11
It wasn't that I had consciously not told JC about agreeing to do the film. It was more that I had been preoccupied with the things Lance had said to me. And of course, JC appearing in the shower with me didn't bring thoughts of business immediately to mind.
JC looked at me with a confused expression. I could tell that he was hurt knowing that Lance knew something that was so important in my life before he did. "I can't believe I forgot to tell you," I said, seeming a little shocked at myself. "It just flew out of my mind." I told him that Lance had been in the car with me when I made the decision. Lance nodded. JC's expression hadn't lifted and I could see that Lance was noticing the tension building.
"I think I'm going to go to my room," Lance said, raising his eyebrows and dramatically making his departure. My eyes followed Lance out of the kitchen, then went back to meet JC's. He looked a bit like a wounded animal.
"Josh, what's the matter?" I asked, wondering if maybe something more serious was bothering him.
"Do you love me?" he asked quietly.
"Of course I do." I was standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island. "Where is this coming from all of the sudden?"
"And you wouldn't keep secrets from me?"
I was upset by the question and a little annoyed. Yes I had professed my love to JC, and yes I believed in having a totally honest relationship, but his question seemed to me that it would have been more appropriate to ask of someone he had known for a bit longer than a week. "Josh," I began. "I wouldn't lie to you about anything, but I don't know why you're asking me this."
His face relaxed a bit and he sat back on his stool. "I'm sorry," he said. "I guess it was just the idea of you not jumping to tell me something so huge made me wonder if we weren't as close as I thought we were."
I smiled at him and walked over to him, placing my hand on his back. "Josh, my mind has just been all over the place lately. So much is preoccupying me that I don't even know what to think about sometimes. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. I could feel his face forming a smile as he moved it across my lips until his lips touched mine. As he kissed me I realized that I was keeping something from him. I hadn't told him about Lance's proposition, the reason why I forgot to say anything about the film. I still wasn't sure if Lance had just been joking, and I really didn't want to cause problems for JC or the group. But I still felt guilty, even though I told myself I was protecting JC from getting unnecessarily hurt. It was frustrating how people like Lance could make you feel like you're part of lie, without you actually doing anything wrong.
"You know," JC said pulling his head back. "I've never dated a celebrity before."
"Well, our relationship is just full of firsts isn't it?" I kissed him again and we finished dinner, relaxed and happy once again.
I woke up around three in the morning, dying of thirst. I turned to my right to see JC sleeping peacefully, the moonlight casting a dim glow around him. The sheet had fallen to about the middle of his chest, so I could see his upper body slowly moving up and down as he breathed. I slowly slipped out of the bed, being careful not to disturb him, and padded down to the kitchen, clad in the boxer-briefs I had been sleeping in.
I noticed a bit of light emerging from Lance's room as I walked into the kitchen. I figured he must have just gotten in. I opened the refrigerator and took out an eight-ounce bottle of water. Just as I closed the refrigerator, I heard a soft moan. Like an idiot, I opened and closed the refrigerator again to see if that was what made the sound. It wasn't. I twisted off the cap to the water and started drinking. I heard another sound of some kind and realized it was coming from Lance's room. I could see his door from the kitchen, and the light coming out of it looked like a trail reaching across the floor. I must have had a sense of what was going on in there, but I found myself walking toward his room, my own morbid curiosity overtaking me. As an actor, I tended to like putting myself in strange situations so that I could study my own reactions to them, as well as the reactions of others around me. Of course, such behavior did have its risks.
As I neared the door, a clear picture of where the sounds were coming from emerged. I could see Lance's bed and on top of it was Lance and another guy. The guy was on all fours, facing the door. Lance was behind him, slamming his cock into him. They were both completely naked. Lance's smooth, lightly defined chest was covered in sweat, and I could tell that he had an ample cock, as I saw it going in and out of the guy in front of him. The guy was a young blond twink-type, and he looked like he was really enjoying himself as he slammed back against Lance, groaning, telling him to fuck him harder. I could feel my cock get hard as rock as I watched, knowing I should leave, but unable to do so. At first both of them had there eyes closed. But then the twink's eyes shot open and they focused on me in less than a second. I went to leave, but apparently my feet had other plans since I remained standing there. He looked surprised at first, but then he smiled. I realized he was staring at my body and the entirety of the situation was driving him crazy. I could see his own slender hard cock, bouncing up and down as Lance fucked him. The twink's eyes kept moving from my chest to the bulge in my boxer-briefs, and I couldn't help but think to myself what a night to remember this would be for him.
I couldn't deny how turned on I was by the sight in front of me, as there was substantial physical evidence. I didn't know how long this scenario was lasting, but I could feel that I had started to perspire. The developing moisture on my palms, along with the condensation on my water bottle caused it to slip out of my hands and roll against the floor. "Fuck!" was all I could think to myself as the bottle hit the ground. The sound caused Lance's eyes to open and he fixed his gaze upon me, standing in the doorway. He stopped pounding into the twink, who immediately started pushing himself back against Lance, not wanting the fuck to end. Lance's face never registered the surprise his friend's did. He just smiled as he too noticed my hard cock in my shorts. I looked down quickly and noticed a wet spot had formed on them. Lance brought up his hand and pushed it through his sweaty hair.
"Join us," he said very calmly. The twink's eyes widened with excitement as he realized he may be getting more than he had bargained for this evening. My heart was racing and I wiped at the sweat forming on my brow. I looked directly into Lance's eyes for a moment, before backing away and running up the stairs.
I was practically shaking as I got back into bed. I was a nervous wreck and so sexually excited at the same time that I really didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't even look at JC as I slipped back under the sheets. I rolled to my side so that my back faced him. I felt like I had no mind. All I could do was replay the images I had seen and focus on how hard my cock was. I couldn't begin to think about the ramifications of what I had done, if indeed there were any.
I was debating whether I should just go into the bathroom and beat-off when I felt JC brush up against me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my neck.
"Where did you go?" he asked sleepily.
"I was thirsty," I replied immediately. My hand reached up and grasped his.
"Poor baby," he said, kissing my neck again. The hand he had over me cupped my pec and I thought that I might explode right then and there. It slid down my sweaty torso, until it cupped the raging erection in my shorts. He paused for a second. "Mmm, is that for me?" he asked, giving it a squeeze. I didn't know if he had felt the wet spot that was already there. I did know that I needed him badly at that moment.
I whipped around and shoved my tongue down his throat. He seemed confused for a moment, but quickly got up to speed. I was kissing him deep and hard, my hands grasping the sides of his face. I rolled on top of him and began kissing my way down his chest. I could feel an urgency in my groin that wasn't going to last through a lot of foreplay. I started sucking on his nipples and licking all over his chest. JC just moaned softly, letting me have my way with him. I pushed up his arms and pushed my face into his armpit, inhaling his scent and licking him. My cock was so hard that it literally hurt. I reached down and yanked my shorts down to my knees. Then I yanked down JC's. Our cocks were lying against each other. There wasn't much I could see in the darkness, but I could feel everything.
I realized there was no time for fucking. No time for condoms. No time for blowjobs. I started grinding up against him. I lifted my upper body up by arms as I humped against him. He opened his legs until I fell in-between them. JC was softly calling my name as he began to move himself up and down underneath me. I could feel his long cock poking me in the stomach as I continued to writhe against him. I leaned my head down and started tongue kissing him again. He was meeting the force I was using and our cocks were quickly sliding all over our stomachs, made slippery by our sweat and precum.
In a few short minutes I knew that I had to come. I increased the pace, concentrating on the feeling of my cock against his hard stomach. Images of my cock and his stomach flooded my brain along with images of Lance's cock sliding in and out of the twink downstairs. I was moaning into JC's mouth, giving him a pretty clear indication that I was on the verge of cumming. His hands had just grabbed onto my ass, and he had just raised up his knees when I felt myself start to shoot. I could tell JC was cumming as well since he started convulsing beneath me. I could feel the hot liquid spraying up against me, and not knowing whose it was just made me cum harder. Tears were streaming down my face as I felt the incredible release that I needed for so long. I kept rocking into him for a long time after my initial ejaculation, making sure I had gotten it all out, waiting for my cock to tire. I kissed JC some more, than rolled off of him. Sweaty, covered in cum, completely confused and euphoric all at once, I almost immediately passed out into sleep.
The next morning, I woke with a feeling of intense guilt. I hadn't cheated on JC, but I wondered if last night I had used him. He lay there naked next to me. The sheet was gone and I could see his morning erection, but at the moment I was feeling nothing sexual. I got out of bed and headed into the shower. I put on all of the jets at full blast and stood in the middle of them, hoping the pounding water would knock some sense into. Why did I stand there? Why did I walk over to Lance's room in the first place? I wasn't even attracted to Lance. Not that I didn't think he was an ok looking guy, but I knew it was something else. It was the sexual energy surrounding him. Being around Lance was like watching a porno. It made you feel intensely excited while you watched, then a little silly after it ended.
I didn't so much as touch Lance, and my actions suggested that I had no intention to do so. Maybe I was just a voyeur. Maybe I was interested in watching anyone have sex.
While I shampooed my hair I thought that I should just tell JC exactly what happened. Then I wouldn't have to worry about anything being interpreted incorrectly. But then I pictured myself telling JC that I spent part of last night watching Lance fuck some guy and that it really turned me on. I just couldn't really see that going over very well. JC was obviously already worried about our relationship and this would probably just make him think that we just weren't going to work out as a couple.
If I didn't say anything to JC I would be depending on Lance to keep the secret. I honestly had no idea if this was something he would do. Lance's behavior suggested that he thought people should be able to do what they want, so maybe it wasn't a big deal to him. Hell, maybe he had even asked JC once or twice to join in. Still, I knew it wasn't merely an offer and refusal that went down between Lance and me. He knew I was standing there, and he knew I was turned on by it.
I heard the door to the bathroom open and I immediately shut off the shower and stepped out of it. JC was standing there, smiling at me, still naked.
"Aw, I missed my chance," he pouted. He leaned in to kiss me and I instinctively backed away.
"I have to meet Allen," I said, reaching for a towel.
"Oh, ok," he said. He stepped into the shower. "We're taping Leno today around five. Do you think you'll be around?"
At the moment all I wanted to do was vanish, but I told myself not to put my relationship in any more jeopardy than I already had. "Sure," I said. "That should be really cool."
"I can send a car for you here, unless you'll be out."
"Um, well I may try to catch up with some friends while I'm here, but I'll give you a call."
"Ok," he said, turning on the water. I walked out of the bathroom and got dressed. I wanted to smack myself for once again putting up an obstacle between the two of us. This was only week two.
When I got downstairs I headed directly into the kitchen. I didn't want to see or hear anything concerning Lance's room. I decided I should make breakfast for JC. It was a way of saying I was sorry without suggesting there was anything to be sorry about. In a few minutes I had eggs and bacon under way, and I was contemplating making pancakes when JC came down the stairs, wearing jeans and a v-neck t-shirt. I saw him stop at the bottom of the stairs, then walk over toward Lance's room. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I saw him bend down and pick up the water bottle I had dropped last night. He looked at it for a second, and then came into the kitchen, placing the bottle on the counter.
"Pancakes?" I inquired, hoping to start a conversation.
JC looked at me and laughed. "You're quite the domestic!"
"Well," I said, pretending to act serious. "Nothing's too good for my man." I waived the spatula at him.
"The eggs and bacon are fine," he said. "I think the car is going to be here soon for Lance and me."
"Oh, ok then." I put the food on a plate and handed it to him.
"You really do love to cook, though, don't you?" he asked, biting a piece of bacon.
"Well, during the cold winter months in New Hampshire, which basically lasted from October until April, I don't think my mom knew what else to do with me. So she turned me into a gourmet chef." I stood over the counter, eating and reminiscing.
"You're an only child?" he asked. I could tell in his voice that he was surprised he didn't already know the answer to that question.
"Yup, my mom likes to joke that she and my dad wanted to have other children after me, but that I was so demanding they knew they would never be able to devote equal time to another one."
"Were you a real annoying kid?" JC asked, smiling.
"No, I mean, I don't think so. I did always have to have everything go my way, but that never really seemed to be a problem. How about you?"
He shook his head no. "I was always pretty agreeable," he said, perhaps wishing a little that he hadn't been.
"You have a brother and a sister right?" It felt strange applying my Internet research to the real person in my life. I had also heard rumors of JC being adopted, but didn't think it was particularly my business to ask if they were true or not, nor did I think it really mattered in one-way or another.
"Yeah," he said they're great."
"Do you get to see them a lot?"
"Not as much as I'd like to." We talked a bit more about our families and I couldn't help but notice that JC had lost a lot of his jittery speech when talking to me. I realized it must be because he felt comfortable around me. The thought made me want to swoon, but also made me feel terribly guilty.
I was just putting my dish into the sink when I heard Lance's door open. A chill ran up my spine as I realized I would have to face him and JC at the same time. Lance stood in the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes and wearing a t-shirt and boxers. JC said "hi" to him and Lance gave him a mock salute. "Late night?" JC asked, noting that Lance looked particularly tired and disheveled.
Lance yawned. "Didn't get much sleep last night," he said, stretching his arms above his head. "How about you Nathan? How'd you sleep?" I picked up the spatula and thought about throwing it at him. There wasn't a note of sarcasm in his voice. It sounded like he was legitimately asking. I don't know how he did it.
"Fine," I said shortly. "Eggs?" I started piling some onto a plate. I hadn't intended on making breakfast for Lance, but in my guilt I must have made enough food for the entire band.
JC looked at Lance. "I slept fine too," he offered, hinting at what he thought was Lance's rudeness in not asking him as well. Lance sat down next to JC and started eating. I saw him look at the water bottle on the counter and then smile at me. I didn't want to let on how annoyed I was, and I thought to myself what a bad situation this was going to turn into. Lance was having fun with it, and I wasn't.
JC told Lance that he better get ready to go but Lance said it didn't really matter. "What's the point?" he joked. "They makes us all pretty when we get there anyway." The guys were doing a photo-shoot for some magazine this morning.
"Well gentlemen, I must bid you adieu." I said, happy that it was time for me to leave. Call me later Josh." Josh waved to me and Lance yelled, "See ya" as I headed down to the garage.
Josh had told me I could use his Mercedes, which I was really enjoying as I whipped through the Hollywood Hills with the top down. I wasn't really used to driving after spending so many years in New York, but at the moment it felt free and exhilarating. Allen was using an office at the Los Angeles offices of his firm, and since I had been there before, and spent time in LA in the past, I had a pretty good idea of how to get there. I also wasn't really worried about being late, since I was so seldom early.
Allen waved me into his office and sat down at his temporary desk. He smiled brightly at me and said, "I think you're going to be very happy Mr. Murray." I looked at him quizzically as he pushed a piece of paper across the desk to me. I picked it up and smirked at him, laughing at this being Allen's attempt to be dramatic. A number "two" was written on the paper.
"Are you serious?" I asked, feeling the excitement building within me. "Two hundred thousand dollars?" I had no idea what to expect for a first film, but it sounded like a great place to start.
Allen looked back at me, beaming. "No," he said. "Two million dollars."
"What?" I jumped out of my chair. "Are you fucking kidding me with this?"
"I'm good Nathan, I told you I was good. Just remember I get ten percent of that."
"But how did you, I mean how could he, I..." I had been reduced to a dribbling idiot.
"I just explained to Mr. Ridgecliff that someone of your age and with your talent and good looks doesn't exactly come along everyday. That combined with the fact that you most certainly will be a Tony award winner before the film's release, which will add a significant layer of credibility to the film, and that you were fielding other offers, well, it just made him realize that he really didn't want to let you get away."
"Oh my God!" I screamed. I ran over and picked Allen up out of his chair. "This is amazing!" I hugged him and thought about offering him my first-born.
"You done good kid." I settled myself down, though I couldn't bring myself to sit back down. Allen went on to give me some of the particulars of filming, and also told me that he had negotiated my release from the play. Basically I would do the play up until the day I left for Africa, which would give the show ample time to find my replacement. Allen also told me that the show was reopening next Tuesday with Liza's understudy playing her role for the first week, and then she would be replaced by Stockard Channing. I had always liked her work, and looked forward to getting to work with her.
When I left Allen's office I immediately called JC. There was no answer, as he must have been right in the middle of his photo-shoot. I left a simple message. "Hey Josh, just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend is really, really rich." I hung up the phone and immediately realized just how much richer JC was than me. "Oh well," I thought. "It's a start."
I had just finished a late lunch with a couple of my friends that I had gone to college with when my cell phone rang. It was JC. He asked me where I was and I told him that I was at some restaurant in Santa Monica. He told me there was probably no way that I would know how to get to Burbank where the "Tonight Show" was taped, and so he offered to have a car come get me. I was just about to say that was fine when I heard him talking to someone else. "That's ok," he said. "You really don't have to. Are you sure? Um, ok then."
"Josh?" I said.
"Sorry," he said. "Lance just said that he would come get you. I think he wants to take a drive or something." I knew it would seem odd for me to protest so I simply said that would be fine and told him that I would bring the car back to the house. I closed the phone and thought about how much trouble I was in.
Lance came into the house and called out my name. I came out from the den and walked straight up to him. "Why are you doing this?" I asked. I was angry.
"Doing what?" he asked back. He seemed totally confused. "I just thought I would make a nice gesture. Geez, you try to be nice to some people."
"Let's just go." I walked past him down to the garage and got into his car.
I was mostly silent on the trip to Burbank. I considered that I may be overreacting to the situation, but I doubted it.
"So that guy was really good." Lance finally offered.
"Oh," I said, looking down, tapping my fingers together. Couldn't he have just not brought it up?
"Really tight, and he couldn't have been more eager to please. You missed out. Don't you like to party?" He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.
"Lance," I started, hoping this would end the conversation. "I shouldn't have eavesdropped and I'm sorry for that."
"Everyone likes to watch," he said, his eyes on the road. "But some people also like to play."
"Lance, you know I'm dating Josh, and that I wouldn't do anything to hurt him. Last night was nothing more than curiosity on my part."
Lance could hear the tension in my voice. He took his hand off the wheel and reached over to lightly pat me on the leg. "Ok, ok," he laughed. "Relax, I was just joking around with you. No harm done. We're all just a bunch of horn-dogs. I'm sure you and Josh will go on to live a long and happy life and make a million babies together."
I was still leery of him, but I could also see Lance being able to treat last night as an unimportant event that need not be discussed anymore. Lance did seem to drop the topic as he asked me how my meeting went this morning. I told him that it went well and soon we were discussing the movie and the different settings it was going to be shot in. By the time we arrived at the studio, I was actually laughing again at some of the things Lance would say. We were lead backstage to the green room where the other guys were waiting. "Lucky you," Lance said before opening the door. "You get to sit back here with Mrs. Robinson."
I was laughing as we entered. Sure enough the guys were there along with Cameron. JC noticed us coming in together and he immediately walked over to me and pulled me over to the side of the room.
"I can't kiss you in here because you never know when the cameras are on, but I'm thrilled your movie deal worked out."
"Two million," I said, trying to control my smile.
Lance, who was still standing nearby, must have overheard me, because he walked over and said "Two million? That's a whole lot of bottled water." JC asked him what he was talking about but Lance ignored him. He leaned into the two of us and whispered, "You should ask Cameron how much she got for her first movie." He laughed and walked away.
"He really doesn't like her," JC said.
"I wonder what she thinks about him?" I asked.
The other person being interviewed tonight was, whom we were told had just arrived. I didn't think much of that fact until she walked in with Kid Rock, who wasn't exactly a huge fan of NSYNC. There was a definite tension developing backstage, particularly between Kid Rock and Justin who, of the five, I could tell had the most issues with not being considered a true musician. The tension was only relieved once everyone had taken the stage, leaving me, Cameron Diaz and Kid Rock sitting on the couch, watching the TV screen. I wondered if any three people could have had less in common. We sat rather quietly until NSYNC took the stage. Kid Rock rolled his eyes and walked out of the green room, saying something about needing to find the liquor cart. Cameron and I both sat there, staring at the TV, mesmerized watching our men sing and dance. After all these years the guys still had it going on.
Jay Leno interviewed them after they performed. When he asked JC what it was like to be back together with his group after such a long break, he began what I could tell was going to be a lengthy explanation of his feelings. Chris and Justin almost immediately started to interrupt him and soon after he gave up trying to answer. It was those awkward moments that had made me infatuated with him before I knew him, and they were part of why I loved him now.
After the taping we were headed for White Lotus, which was supposed to be the best club in LA at the moment. JC and I were back to talking only to each other, occasionally stopping to exchange pleasantries with someone that would come up to us.
"I wish it was only us!" JC yelled into my ear, trying to be heard over the loud music.
"It will be soon enough!" I yelled back. "It's probably important that you be seen out a lot while you're promoting the album."
"You catch on fast. We'll be calling you Mr. Hollywood pretty soon." I was having so much fun drinking and talking with Josh, but part of me felt like I had ruined something. If I had only not done what I did last night, I would be completely free to enjoy myself with him, instead of worrying if it was all going to blow up in my face.
Late into the evening, after much drinking and dancing, Lance came wobbling over to the two of us. We had been doing our share of drinking and dancing as well, so my defenses probably weren't up as much as they normally would be.
"I want to talk to your boyfriend," Lance said to JC. His eyes were a bit glassy and his speech was slowed.
"Be my guest," JC said. "I have to go to the little boy's room anyway." JC wandered off and I was once again face to face with Lance.
"Having fun?" I asked, somewhat sarcastically.
"So much fun," he said. "Though not as much fun as last night." I shifted my weight to my other side, realizing that he wasn't going to drop this. "You know that kid is around here somewhere. He asked if he could go home with me again but I told him I'm strictly one per customer."
"Well, if we don't live by rules, we're nothing but animals aren't we?"
"Exactly," he said, waving his finger at me. He leaned over until his cheek was occasionally rubbing up against mine. "I want to fuck you," he said. "I bet you're much better than that kid." He laughed. "Even though you're a bit older."
I pulled away from him and thought about just leaving. "Lance, I'm dating Josh. You know, you're best friend?"
"Oh what's the big deal?" he asked, waving me off with his hand. "I've fucked a lot of Josh's boyfriends." I didn't know what the hell that statement meant, but I made a mental note to think about it when I sobered up.
"This conversation is over." I said sternly. I turned to leave but Lance grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.
"Come on," he said. "You don't want me to have to tell Josh about last night do you?"
I pulled his arm off of me. "Nothing happened last night." I growled.
"Please." His head fell back. "You practically came in your shorts you wanted it so bad."
"Are you planning on blackmailing me Lance? Is that what's going on here?"
He stopped wobbling. It was as though an important thought had just entered his head. "Well I don't know," he finally said. "Maybe I am." I looked at him and thought I was really about to hit him. "Or maybe I'm not."
"Well which is it?" I asked through my clenched teeth.
"Maybe you'll just have to wait and see." He was coming up with a new game and I could see that he liked it. "So what do you think about that?"
I stood there for a moment, not at all sure what to do. "Go fuck yourself," I finally said. I pushed him backward and he stumbled a little. A few people noticed the hostility but I was already walking away. I saw Josh and waved him over to me. "Let's go," I said. He seemed ready and pointed me toward the rear entrance where his car was waiting.
To be continued