This is a story about the growing up and coming of age of a typical Ohio boy by the name of Jason as told to me through the exchange of a series of Email. It is a true story detailing true events with only the names, including Jason's, having been changed to protect the travellers we meet along the way. We pick up where we left off in Chapter 3 with Jason turning thirteen and entering grade seven, a time of teen hormones and self consciousness. Lyrics to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" are copyright by Nirvana. Comments about the story can be sent to the author, J.O. Dickingson at authorsix@hotmail.com and those who wish to correspond directly with Jason may do so at journeyofjason@yahoo.com
JASON'S JOURNEY
CHAPTER FOUR: RIDING THE TEENAGE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
And I forget
Just why I taste.
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile.
I found it hard,
It was hard to find,
Oh well, whatever, never mind.
Grade seven and eight are considered middle school, but the classes are in the old wing at the high school. For me, the most exciting part of going into grade seven is that finally we have to change clothes for gym and I get to see cock on a regular basis. Of course I have to be more careful about sneaking looks at other guys, especially since guys are much more self-conscious about their bodies in middle school, but the opportunities to sneak a look are also much greater. I am just thankful we are not made to take showers or I'd be popping a boner in front of everyone for sure with the sight of all that naked butt and views of the family jewels. I have a good sized package entering grade seven, six inches hard, bigger than any of my friends. Another advantage of middle school is that a guy has more opportunities to visit the boy's room, something I'd not thought of when I was in elementary school. So, between gym classes and frequent visits to the washroom, I begin chalking up the number of guys who's dicks I've seen, and whom I've also seen pissing.
One Saturday that fall I am riding my bike around and see one of my friends, Mike, out in his yard and so I go over to talk with him. Mike lives down the block and we have been friends for a few years. We have never done much together, but when I hang out with Dave, Derek, Kurt and James, Mike is usually with them. He is a grade older than I am, a little over weight, and has short, almost buzzed brown hair and glasses. I have to get glasses that year too, but I hardly ever wear them. After talking a bit, we go in his house to get something to drink and to watch TV. We turn to the sports channel where they have a firefighter competition, firemen carrying hoses up a flight of steps, carrying a dummy around an obstacle course, things like that. Over the past while, my friends and I have started pretending to make kissy faces at each other or lick our lips seductively and just laugh it off that we are playing around. Well, Mike and I start doing this during the program and unlike with my other friends it keeps progressing until he is sitting on my lap and I am pretending to be fucking him.
"Suck my dick," I whisper seductively in his ear and with what I figure is a sexy look, still joking around.
"Take it out and I will."
Well, I start to reach for my fly expecting him to stop me but to my surprise he doesn't. "If I'm going to take mine out, you should take yours out too," I suggest, my hopes rising. Mike is one boy whose dick I have not yet seen.
"My parents can come home any time," he replies, and my heart sinks and I wish I hadn't said anything. "We'd better go up to my room for more privacy."
I can't believe it as my hopes soar again! As I follow Mike to his bedroom, my dick starts to swell with excitement and expectation. He lies down on the floor and I lie down facing him but in the opposite direction.
"Let's do it at the same time," he suggests. "I'll take your dick out and you take out mine."
So, I reach over for his fly and he reaches over for mine, and we pull each other's zipper down at the same time. A ripple of excitement and arousal passes up my spine. I've never pulled down another guy's fly before, and it is erotic as fuck. I'm feeling a bit nervous though as we pull each other's pants down, and then expose each other, wondering how big Mike's is and how we'll compare. It is the first time I expose another guy, or have another guy pull my pants and underwear down though, and the eroticism far outweighs my apprehension. Mike and I having never really joked around with each before, I am still a little surprised that our horsing around has progressed this far as I study his penis. It is rather small, right around or maybe a bit less than four inches, and cut, and he has a very loose sack. That is one thing I wish I had, a looser sack.
He starts to rub my dick so I start to rub his, and both of us being randy as fuck it does not take us that long to get boners. To my surprise Mike's penis is actually the same size when it is hard as it is when it is limp.
"Okay, it is out now, and hard besides," I say, still not believing he will do it, "suck it."
To my total surprise he does, and it feels awesome having his hot, moist mouth wrapped about my stiff dick. It is the first time anyone has put their mouth on my dick since when Brandon and I messed around way back when I was six, and back then it was just messing around and making each other feel funny, neither of us having any idea what sex was all about, nor even that we were actually engaging in sex. Anyway, I figure what the hell and start sucking him back. It is the first dick I've sucked since Brandon, and I totally love it.
"You want to try something else?" I ask after we've sucked on each other for a few minutes. It is great, but my jaw is getting tired, and I am nowhere near about to cum.
"Like what?"
"Something that's more like fucking," I reply, figuring this is a good chance for me to give it a try and knowing he is feeling as randy as I am.
"I dunno. My door doesn't have a lock on it," he says with a frown. "I don't want to get caught."
That is a bummer. When your rocks are hot, you don't stop to think. I'm as afraid of getting caught as he is and once again my hopes begin to fade until I think of the obvious. "My room has a lock," I say hopefully.
"Okay."
What a roller coaster! My heart begins to speed up again and as we bike back to my house, it is racing several hundred beats a minute. I can't believe we are actually going to do it!
"Can Mike and me go up to my room?" I ask, finding my mom in the kitchen. It is a rule in my house that I have to ask.
"Is your room clean?"
"No," I reply reluctantly. My room is never clean.
"Well, maybe tomorrow then, IF you clean your room."
"Aw, mom. . . ."
"You know the rules. No company in your room until you clean it up."
"But ."
"No but's."
"Just this one time."
"No."
"Suppose I just clean ."
"Jason."
I know that tone of voice and that there is no use arguing or whining. It never is so I don't know why I do it but I do. Typical thirteen-year-old behaviour I suppose. Reluctantly we turn and head back outside. Damn, and we were so close.
"Too bad," Mike says, sounding just as disappointed as I am.
"Yeah," I say sourly as I glance around the yard. "Hey!" I say suddenly as I give my head a mental slap. "Let's go in the garage."
It is a three-stall garage with a cement floor and has some of my brother's furniture that we are storing for him since he is moving, so we will have somewhere comfortable to do it. Most important of all, the garage has a lock on the door. Yeah, my parents have a key, but by the time they unlock it we can have our pants up, if we are quick and if we only push them down and don't take them right off. When you are thirteen and horny you have to take some risks. We sort through the boxes and end tables and lamps and pull out a couple of bean bag chairs. We start with him getting down on his hands and knees and me kneeling behind him and trying to go in him first, neither of us thinking about condoms that first time, but he is just too tight and I am just too big and it hurts like hell for both of us. Well we both know about lube so we start looking around the garage for something that we might use.
Finding an open can of car oil, I pour a little in my hand and smear it over my boner while Mike pours a little on his finger tips and lubes up his hole and we try it again. Being inexperienced and both of us with tight holes, it is still not easy. We decide to try a different position, Mike on his back on the bean bag with his legs raised and me on my knees, but it still doesn't work, and being a bit overweight, Mike has a hard time keeping his legs up. So we try it doggy style once again, and we must try half a dozen times, the two of us grunting and snorting and panting, before I finally manage to get the knob of my dick in his rectum.
Well, I can't believe it and I quickly sink my cock all the way in. It feels totally awesome totally surrounded by his hot, moist ass flesh, just like I imagine having my dick up a girl's cunt must feel like. I start going back and forth in him for a few minutes, thoroughly enjoying it and so excited and aroused finding it hard to really concentrate on how it feels. Then we decide to switch. So I pull out and with my dick no longer surrounded by his hot, moist flesh, I realize I really have to piss.
"I'll be right back. I got to go take a leak."
"You what?"
"I have to take a piss."
"Now?"
"Yeah."
"You're kidding."
"No, honest. I really got to go."
"You can't wait a minute or two?"
"No, I got to go real bad. I don't think I can hold it back, not with you poking your dick up my ass. I'll be right back."
"You're gonna go tell, aren't you!" he says, getting all defensive.
"Tell? Tell who?"
"Your mom."
"You're crazy. Why would I do that?"
"I dunno. Cuz we done something we aren't supposed to and now you're sorry."
"I'm not. And I'd never tell anyway."
"Yeah right," he retorts angrily.
"Honest."
"You just don't want me to do it to you."
"I do. I'll be right back, I promise." Mike glares at me. "I will! I just gotta take a piss, and I won't be able to hold it back if I gotta open my ass for you."
Well, he understands that, but is still suspicious that I'm going to go in and tell and we argue for a bit more before he finally gives in. So I race into the house and do my business then come back out and am ready for him. So he slicks up his dick with oil while I lube up my asshole and I get down on my hands and knees and he kneels behind me and starts to poke me with his boner. He tries several times and then we try with me laying on my back with my legs raised but he is not able to get his in despite being a lot smaller than I because I am really tight. He keeps trying but nothing is happening and we are both getting frustrated.
So I decide to suck him for a while more. We wipe ourselves off with paper towels my dad keeps in the garage and Mike sits on the bean bag and I kneel between his legs and suck him for a while, and then we both jack off and shoot pretty good sized loads. I shoot on the back of my hand and suck my cum up like I usually do. A few seconds later I watch as Mike shoots and then wipes himself off with the paper towelling. We don't say anything as we gather up the paper towels and toss them in the neighbour's trash pile.
We get together a few times over the next month either in my bedroom or in Mike's, me fucking Mike and Mike trying to screw me and the two of us finishing ourselves off by hand. I love watching Mike cum. He always has a big load. Meanwhile I start trying to loosen myself up by shoving whatever I can find up my ass, starting with AA batteries and working up to D, using my fingers, raiding the refrigerator for carrots, cucumbers, and pickles. And of course Mike and I keep trying.
The first time Mike penetrates me, he is lying on a bed in our spare room, the room where Caroline stayed when she was with us, and I lower myself down onto him. There is a mirror on a dresser directly across from the bed and we are able to watch what is going on. It is pretty hot. He screws me for a bit and then pulls out and like usual we finish ourselves off by hand. And as usual I lick up my stuff while Mike just shoots off and then pulls his underwear and pants up without making much effort to clean himself up. I don't know how he can do that. I had to do it once when I almost got caught jacking off and felt so sticky and icky I could not wait to get to the bathroom to clean my stuff off my body. One thing I cannot stand is to have something sticky on my hands, face or body.
Well, that is the beginning of a regular routine between the two of us that fall and winter. For a while we are getting together every couple days. Then after a bit it dies down to once every two weeks for a while and then we just start doing it more regularly until it is almost every day. At first we do it raw, but after a while I steal a couple condoms from the rents' stash for the two of us. We start off sucking each other for a bit, and then put on the condoms and switch to fucking, using Vaseline, cooking oil, anything we can find that will work actually, with me usually penetrating Mike but for whatever reason him rarely being able to get it in me, not for lack of trying. He is always trying to open me up. Then we finish off jerking ourselves off. Sometimes we try jerking each other, but I'm never able to cum by someone else stroking my dick. One time I am screwing him in my room on my bed and things just seem to click and I actually cum just by fucking him, filling the condom I'm wearing.
A lot of times that we are together we often watch a porn movie and then fuck. We watch the jack off tapes I made a few times and we also do a few things together on tape, but I tape over it accidentally one day. One time he spends the night and we fuck around for a while like usual and then sit there and jerk ourselves off, only this time it takes me forever to cum. I don't know why and my arm is hurting like hell before I finally shoot a thin stream. It reminds me of when I first started to jerk off and how long it used to take me. Actually, it is not a very enjoyable experience.
Although Mike and I are getting off on a regular basis, that does not stop me from continuing my explorations with my other friends. One day that spring my best buddy James and I are watching a porn that I'd swiped from my parents and are joking around like we are jacking off. That is something we'd started a while back. We would tap our stomach and make it sound like we were. Anyway that day I am laying between the mattress of my bed and the wall and decide to just go for it under a blanket. He thinks I am just goofing again and pulls the blanket off me. He just sits there staring for a minute stunned, and I decide to just keep going for it. He puts the blanket back down and then slips under a blanket of his own and starts doing it too.
Well, after that we don't bother doing it fake. After a bit we have a jerk race, but we pull the blankets over us so the other person can't see. I let him win because I want to see his cum. He really doesn't win, just having pre-cum on his hand, but I let him think he did. I take some of it from his finger for proof and then taste it while he isn't looking. Our sessions slowly progress from there to where he pulls the blanket off of me and just watches me jack off. He always stays under the blanket though, I think because of the surgery he had to remove the mole on the tip of his dick, and he probably has a scar. Anyway, one time while he is watching, he reaches out and grabs my dick and starts stroking it for me. I think I died and went to heaven.
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
hello, how low?
hello, how low?
hello, how low?
April 5, 1994, in a small room above a garage in a suburb in Seattle, a brilliant and promising life is suddenly and tragically cut short. I learn of Kurt Cobain's death three days later. It is the worst Friday of my life. His death hits me very hard and I slip into a major depression that lasts quite some time. James and I are both Nirvana fans, but it affects me a lot more than it does him.
To my delight and surprise we get a call about Caroline's parents again early that summer just before the end of grade seven. Little had I known my wish that we would see each other again the day I'd run back home to say goodbye would come true. I'm so delighted to hear about it I go with my parents. We pick up Caroline alone this time because it is to be long term and we don't have the room for more than one child long term. Well, I am delighted when Mom tells her she will be sleeping back in the bedroom next to mine, which is quite all right for my voyeuristic side. Of course I begin watching her again, but not every night.
Then one day while I'm drying off after my shower, I'm pretty sure that I hear something next door, down by the vent between our rooms. Of course I can't very well check it out without revealing that I know about the vent, so I go on as if I don't know anything, except the idea that Caroline's found out about the vent turns me on big time and I have one powerful jerking off session in my bed out of sight of the vent.
Well, next time I listen more carefully and watch out of the corner of my eye as I dry myself off, or while I bend over and pretend to be drying my legs, and this time I'm sure I see her looking in at me. So, I dry myself off really slow, turning around so she can see my butt, then turning to face her and vigorously drying my hair so my dick bounces about, and spreading apart my legs so she can have a good look. I guess I am a little of an exhibitionist too because I love the attention. After I give her a good show, I head over to my bed and jack off like a wild man. I'm sure she looks in on me several times after that and each time I get hard as she looks and then move to my bed and jack it like a rabbit.
My nephew Eric is at my house almost every single day and as time goes along he starts talking, which is just horrible! He just never shuts up! It must be a family thing that we are all big talkers until we hit around twelve, or maybe it is just a kid thing. To tell the truth, I really love the kid and am always happy to have him around. I carry him around on my shoulders and play with him with his toys, and we take him swimming at the Moose and to the different summer festivals. I even ride my bike the six blocks to their house and hang out.
Eventually we change one of the rooms around and are able to take another of the siblings, this time a brother about five or six years old named Rob. Caroline and my relationship quickly deteriorates with the brother around and we are soon fighting on a daily basis. Then later that summer my mom gets really sick and we have to move the kids to another home a few blocks away from us with the intention of bringing them back when she gets better. Rob is a real monster and I'm not sorry to see him go. We never do bring them back but they visit a few times with one of the daughters from the new house, Chloe. One night after we'd been swimming at the Moose, the two of them go into the bathroom to change, and of course I cannot resist the temptation and climb up on the entertainment center to peek in the window hoping to see something. They must notice the movement or something because they both look up and I quickly duck out of sight, hoping they haven't seen me.
When they come out, they give me this weird, sort of knowing glance and I wonder if I've been caught but they say nothing. We go outside and jump on the trampoline for a while and just talk, like kids do, about summer vacation and being bored and stuff like that.
"You like girls?" Caroline suddenly asks out of the blue, and I wonder if maybe she's asking because they'd seen me peaking in the window.
"Yeah, sure. Of course. You two like guys?"
"Sure," the two reply, glancing at each other.
"Certain boys," Caroline adds, and the two look at each other and giggle.
"Oh?" I ask, pretending to be surprised. "What is it that makes you like certain boys and not others?"
"If they're cute," responds Chloe.
"And got great behinds," adds Caroline and the two giggle some more.
"You ever seen a boy's dick?" Chloe asks Caroline, and I almost bounce right off the trampoline.
"Sure. I got two younger brothers, remember?"
Well, you can imagine my ears perk up, and so does something else listening to these two ten-year-old girls talking about sex.
"I mean an older boy's."
"Yeah," she says with an impish grin, "but I've never seen a boy when he's, well, you know how some boys get."
"Hard?"
This time I do almost fall off the trampoline.
"Yeah. I've never seen a boy's penis up close when it is hard."
"Me neither," says Chloe. The two girls glance at me, all wide-eyed and innocent. If they want to see a guy's penis hard and up close, they needn't look any further. "You know how to put a condom on a guy?" she asks, looking at Caroline.
"Un-uh," she says. "But it's something a girl should know how to do." Again they both look up at me.
"You know, Jason?"
"Yeah, sure, of course," I reply.
"Would you show us?"
Would I! I can't believe what is happening as I race up to my room. Climbing up on my chair, I reach behind my mousetrap game on the top shelf of my closet where I've hidden my purloined pack of condoms and a couple magazines I've bought from a friend at school. The condoms I'd snuck from my parents. I am always searching through the rents' drawers in search of forbidden things, movies, books, toys, you name it. I wondered why they would need them when I'd first found them, having heard my mom say once that they had both gotten "fixed" before I was adopted, though it wasn't until later that I found out getting fixed didn't mean they'd been broken in some way. Anyway they buy them by the gross and I figured anyone who buys that many condoms must fuck like a bunny. Thinking of my mom and dad humping away every night is the most sickening, disgusting, wrong, yucky thing I can imagine. Mostly though I figure now I have a place to get them if I need them.
Racing back down the stairs and out the door, I nod to the girls and we go into the garage. I am wearing a pair of Umbro shorts, the kind that are really loose fitting but very short. I slip them down a little and both girls are practically drooling over what they are about to see. Just as the tip pops out, Mom yells that it is time for them to go home. We both jump so high at the sound of her voice we almost hit the rafters in the garage! I don't know who is more disappointed, me or the two girls.
We have a minivan at the time and I offer to go along, hoping my chance is not yet lost. I sit in the very back seat and the girls sit in the middle with their arms reaching back to my seat. They keep grabbing me through my shorts and then they both slip their hands up the legs and grab my tool. By the time we get to where they are staying, only a few blocks down the alley, I have a hell of a time hiding my boner when we go in the house. To our disappointment we don't get any chance to be alone even for a few minutes. After that night, which is another major jackrabbit night for me, I keep hoping they will come back up to visit again but that never happens and a little later they are moved again to a small town about twenty miles out from where I live.
Since I'd last seen them at Christmas, Mitch's parents got a divorce and my uncle married a woman who had two kids of her own. The first time I meet Mitch's stepbrother Tommy is that summer at my other grandparent's house, my father's parents, shortly after I turn fourteen, and the moment I see him I get an instant hard on. He is absolutely beautiful. They'd had a long drive in and both Mitch and Tommy have to go to the bathroom badly. As everyone is taking stuff upstairs to the bedroom, they both go downstairs to use the bathroom in the basement. The bathroom is right beside the steps and there is a gap where if a person sits on a certain step he can see someone standing there at the toilet. Well, of course I quietly slip down the stairs while everyone is busy and watch them both taking a pee. They both have nice looking dicks. We don't do anything that night, but I have some new jerkoff images to think about!
The idea of showing my dick to Caroline and Chloe and maybe us doing something more is enough to fire up my imagination the rest of that summer and for months following, and to give me plenty of jerkoff fantasies, which are occurring several times a day. Actually, occurring whenever I get a chance to wrap my fist about my dick, which seems to be perpetually hard.
Well grade eight starts, marking the end of summer. Labor day falls late so we are in school almost a week when my parents travel out to join the family that had taken in Caroline, Angie, and two of the boys for a cookout that long weekend. Caroline and I hang out together most of the day. We walk around the neighborhood and talk, mostly about our first week back at school and our summer, and some of the people she's met, and she keeps grabbing at my crotch. I figure she's got to have been messing around with Chloe's brothers or someone because she's a real cock tease. Anyway, I get so hard and horny I am about to pop. We go in the house and play a few games of cards right inside the back door. She keeps reaching over and grabbing my dick through my clothes and I reciprocate by reaching over and rubbing her though her shorts.
Well after a bit the mother of the family she is staying with comes by and suggests she give me a tour of the rest of their house, including her bedroom! Well, with an invitation like that, you can imagine where we head immediately! So we go up and sit on her bed, the lower one of a bunk bed, and keep fondling each other.
"You remember the time me and Chloe were at your place and we told you we'd never seen an older boy's penis, and you were going to show us yours?"
"Yeah, sure." How could I forget! I had to have jacked off a hundred times thinking of what might have been.
"Can I see yours now?"
"Sure," I reply, trying my best not to show my joy and acting as if it's a perfectly normal request I get every day. So I get up and go into her closet for more privacy, acting almost bored, and tell her if she wants to see it to come on in. She refuses and says she wants to do it on her bed and that we will be able to hear if anyone comes up. Well, I'm not about to argue, and so I go over and sit back down. She immediately reaches for my zipper and she has my pants undone and down before I know what is happening! For me, that is fast! And to me it proves that she and probably she and Chloe have been messing around with guys before me. She pulls down my underwear and my dick springs out at a full six inches. Well, she grabs it and starts stroking me. It feels different having a girl's hand doing what my dick has gotten accustomed to being my hand or another guy's, and it feels great! I just sit and enjoy it for a minute, and then I get her pants down and start feeling her up. It is the second pussy I've ever felt, but I don't really count that time with Katie it being so quick, and I hadn't really gotten to stroke her like I'm now doing with Caroline.
Well, Caroline says she wants me on top of her and I am on her in a flash. She plays with my dick for a moment and then pulls me to her vagina. I'm not really sure exactly how to go about doing it, but I don't have to worry about that! Caroline sticks me in! Actually, she just gets the tip in. Her pussy feels really tight around my knob as it squeezes about it. I push forward but she grimaces, and I pull back and push forward again, but it doesn't work as it is supposed to. I try to go in deeper a few more times, but I am just too big for her and after a few minutes it is evident it is not going to happen and we quit.
The ride back to my place that night is about thirty minutes, and is pure hell. I have such a terrible case of blue balls I'm sure I'm going to puke with the pain. Since I didn't really penetrate her, I don't count our experience as having real sex, but more of just playing round. It does give me many enjoyable jerk off sessions though as I think back about it as I now, having recently turned fourteen, begin grade eight and continue my journey.