Jason's First Workout Ð Chapter XIX: Surprises and Revelations
Dear Readers:
Hope you are all well and following your Covid protocols so you can keep reading! Thanks to all of you who provided feedback on last week's installment. I appreciate ALL of it.
There's less `action' and more story/plot in this installment. Don't worry, more sex is coming Ð always.
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Best, Coach Luke. Olcoach44@gmail.com
New chapters (5 and up) updated to present day: Luke age 56, Brock 48, Jason 34, Joe 40, Chase 28, Sam 26.
Late October, 2020. Somewhere in Western NC
JOE:
The late-fall weather had been spectacular and I marveled at the lingering colors painting the drive up to the cabin as I headed in from work. Most of the maples and sweet gums had already dropped their leaves on the northern facing slopes but the oaks remained in hues of russet, gold, and browns along with some persimmon and elms. I'd spent most of the day in the field Ð my favorite thing to do in my favorite time of year - and I would've stayed on `til almost dark as I used to, if these days I didn't have the most handsome, kindest, sweetest man to come home to. Knowing that he was here somehow made my days go faster and slower at the same time. I wondered how things had gone with his attorneys in meetings all day, and I couldn't wait to tell him about the tracks I'd found in western Pisgah up above the snow line already. She was moving down into the southern facing caves and probably looking for her winter den already. Could I find that, I wondered? If so, even with in a 200-mile radius, it would mean months more of quality data to analyze and publish and hopefully help save this amazing species. I brushed my hair back absent-mindedly, removing my field cap and straightening my green work shirt in my pants on the front porch. Damn, if I wasn't primping for my man! The front door was unlocked and I strode in, anxious to see Jason.
"Hey Man!" I called, smiling, seeing him at his laptop at the dining table. "Oh shit, sorry, are you in a meeting?" I said in a stage-whisper.
"What the fuck?" He laughed then looked up at me. "Get in here, stud! Little bro and I are zooming and he was just telling me that he fucked a guy up the ass the other night!"
I strode around behind Jason and glimpsed the image of his stepbrother, Chase, on the screen.
"What up, Dude? It's about time you came over to the family of butt lovers! You're not snowboarding on your lunch hour?" I asked, leaning over Jason's shoulder and then kissing him on the side of the neck.
"No way, Dude!" Chase responded through the app. "And watch the PDA in my presence, you big lug. I cannot believe my sophisticated, over-groomed bro fell for a local yokel like you. I never thought he had a Paul Bunyan fetish." He teased.
"Watch it, you little shit. I'll break you in half if I ever get to meet you face to face," I teased.
"Whoa, Sasquatch I was just kidding. He is just teasing, right?" Chase asked Jason.
"Don't fuck with my man, lil' Bro. And besides, I want to hear more about this bi-fling you had." Jason answered seriously.
"Sorry dudes. I gotta run. I just happened to be in the apartment because I left my lunch. I can't afford Aspen prices for food you know. I'll call you back this weekend when we can really catch up," Chase grinned.
"Okay, Stud." Jason grinned back. "I love you, little man."
"Who you calling little?" Chase flexed into the camera showing a nice bicep bulge under his skin-tight spandex tee. "We're the same fucking size!"
"Joe has bulked me up, Bud. I'm gonna body slam you when I see you," Jason teased.
"Love you, you fudge-packer. Talk soon!" Chase said, moving to hit the keyboard.
"Hey, love you too, Bro," Jason said before he could leave the meeting. Then the screen went to the Zoom cover.
"Damn!" Jason said, under his breath.
"What is it?" I said, pulling out the chair next to him and putting my arm around him.
"I really wanted to talk to him some more. I forget how cool it is to have little brothers around even though we only spent a few summers together. I miss talking to Chase, especially." He smiled.
"I'm sorry I cut you off," I said.
"Nah, it's not your fault. Doc says it's like talking to a brick wall with that one. You have to pull the info out of him. I just caught him at a good time and I think he really had questions about the experience fucking that couple," he offered.
"No shit. I've got questions too!" I laughed. "Spill."
"Well , apparently, he fucked this woman the other night, had a really great time. She was older but blonde and stacked. Just Chase's type. Then in the after-glow, he hears a noise and realizes someone is home and coming up the stairs. Sounds like it was some kind of a mansion. Turns out it was the bitch's husband, who was a jacked, muscle-bound Italian type in an expensive suit. Apparently, he and his wife get off on her picking up younger muscle-studs and bringing them home to play. About all I got out of him, description wise, was that the guy was probably early 40s, wife a bit younger. She had to have surgically enhanced tits. The guy was muscle-bound and hairy, oiled hair, big uncut cock, but Chase has not much to compare to except me and Doc." He started.
"Wait, Chase has seen your cock? Hard?" I asked.
"Not hard, I don't think," he said. "But anyway, is that what you're focusing on?"
"No! I mean, not really. Didn't he freak when he found it was her husband?" I asked, amazed.
"Yeah, said he was speechless. Had his pants halfway up when the guy started laughing and then dove into his wife's pussy to eat Chase's cum fresh from the hole," He laughed.
"Holy shit," I concurred. "That's hot," I rubbed my crotch and my man smiled at me and reached to rub it too.
"Wow, you're looking especially studly in your long-sleeved Henley under your short-sleeved park shirt," He leaned in for a whiff. "And you smell like Joe- sweat and the earth Ð my favorite combo fragrance," He growled.
I pushed him away. "Finish the damned story! You got me chubbing, Baby!"
He laughed, rubbing my cock through my work jeans. "Lil' Bro says the guy was kind of dom. Giving orders and stuff, but after he sucked his wife's pussy, he sucked on Chase and then had Chase fuck his wife again while the man fucked her mouth. Then at some point, the man got behind him and was sucking Chase's cock and the wife's cunt while Bro fucked her!"
"Damn," I said, reaching to unzip and free my growing, uncut cock from my jeans. "Then what?" I asked as Jason reached out to start stroking me.
"Then Daddy Rich Italian tells Chase he wants to get into his wife's pussy now that Chase has her slightly stretched. Then, as he's mounting his wife, he reaches behind him, lubes his own ass, and reaches over and grabs Chase's cock. He lubes it and tells C to mount up. And apparently, Chase did!" Jason said in wonder.
"Wow!" I gasped, as Jason started to work my leaking, uncut cock into its full 9-inch glory. "Did he like it?"
He smiled. "Apparently, though he said he had to look over the guy's shoulder to see the woman rubbing her tits. Said the guy's hairy, muscled back and ass was kind of a turn off, but that asshole was the tightest, hottest pussy he'd ever fucked. He wanted to ask me if this meant he was bisexual?"
"Damn," I grunted, as Jason leaned forward and took my head into his mouth. "Oh, baby, yes, Damn! What did you tell him?"
"I told him one fuck did not a homo make, especially if the guy's ass kind of turned him off on the outside, but feel free to experiment and then come to me and ask for feedback," He smiled, leaning in to kiss me before he went back down on my cock. He slowly sucked me off, then leaned in to smell my pubes.
He sniffed heavily in. "Damn, you smell so fucking good."
"My animal pheromones are getting you worked up, are they?" I growled.
"There are times that I love being in love with a fucking Biologist?" He groaned, gripping my dripping cock again.
"OH yeah?" I teased. "Just the biologist part?"
He leaned into my chest. "Want to fuck before supper?" he asked.
"I thought you'd never take the hint, Stud. And wait `til you smell this ripe, hairy man-ass of mine," I said, hitching up my pants and heading to the bedroom.
"Holy Fuck!" he yelled, grabbing at his cock through his pants and running after me.
Saturday Morning, LUKE:
I went into the bedroom again to try and wake my snoring husband, this time grabbing the hairy foot that protruded from the beneath the comforter.
"Hey, I'm not waking you up again! Get up and hit the showers or we're going to be late. It's already after 10:30!"I said.
"What the fuck?" he grumbled beneath the covers. "Do you know how long it's been since I had a Saturday to sleep in?"
"Two months exactly," I said, matter-of-factly and "Not my problem. Your choices. But you are not going to miss this day with our son, so get up and get in the shower before I drag your sorry ass out of bed."
He stretched his naked torso above the comforter. "When did you become such a fucking nag?"
"When did you become such a big baby?" I smiled. "Joe is counting on us to be there when he surprises Jason. I only have his written directions and GPS and it says it'll take an hour to get to that mountain top. You've got to get moving."
"Fuck." He groused. "Alright, alright, I'm up. What happened to the days when you woke me up with a blow job?"
"That was last night when you woke me up at 11:30, getting home late from your shift, smart-ass," I said. "Here's the last of the coffee. Don't let the shower door hit youÉ" I said and smacked his naked ass as he walked into the master bath and let loose a hard stream of piss into the toilet.
"Hurry," I shouted and then walked into the kitchen to nurse my second cup of coffee of the morning.
It was after 11 AM by the time I steered the truck onto 25 and headed toward North Carolina. The late fall colors, though dulled somewhat, were still putting on a show. I watched as the late-morning sun began to peek through the line of clouds quickly moving to the east.
"Damn, It's gorgeous. Looks like that front will move on through and it'll be a beautiful day for it," I said, leaning into the windshield.
His grumpiness had wakened a bit from his coffee and was leaning back in the passenger seat, eyes closed. He grumbled. "I hope it's not a cold front. I don't think I wore enough clothes."
I looked over at him. He was wearing a thin, long-sleeved Henley in a dark green and the color and the taut material over his chest and pecs showed off his manly form and his erect nipples.
"Well, you look sexy as fuck, but if it's as windy as I think it'll be, then you're going to need me to keep you warm. And, I threw an extra hoody in the back along with some stadium blankets just in case." I smiled at him.
He popped his left eye open and studied me.
"Thanks. Sorry I was such a shit this morning. I'm just so damned tired." He said, slowly.
"It's okay. Pop off too much again and I'll meet you on the mat tonight." I teased.
"Damn. You're going to make me be a smart-ass then `cause there's nothing I want more than to wrestle you again. This time, I'm going to cum out on top Ð or inside you, as it were," He smirked.
"I thought you'd have learned your limits, Cocky Boy." I smirked back.
"Not yet, Daddy," He growled.
"Let's just get up here and enjoy this day with the boys, then you and I can come to some understanding later. Jason is going be surprised and he doesn't always like surprises. I hope Joe isn't rushing things," I said, thoughtfully.
"You worry too damn much." He argued.
"Well, someone has to. And maybe I'll just let you freeze your ass off when we get up there." I said, pissed off again.
He growled and leaned his head against the passenger side window, pulled his left arm over him and made out as if to go back to sleep. I sighed heavily, wondering what the fuck was happening between the two of us.
JASON (that same morning):
"Do these wide-wale cords make me look fat?" I asked turning in front of the mirror. Joe walked up behind me in his usual weekend uniform Ð jeans, Henley under a plaid flannel, and hiking boots. He'd put some kind of product in his hair, probably some of my pomade, and his curls were reasonably styled across his forehead. He rested his chin on my shoulder and looked into the floor length, standing mirror.
"You could never look fat to me, and you know it. But if you keep fucking around, we're going to be late and I need to make a couple of stops before we head up to the property." He teased, patting my ass.
"But seriously," I said turning my ass sideways. "Maybe it's this bulky sweater."
"Stop," he said. "If it means that much, just put on your skinny jeans, that'll show you you're not fat."
"That's just it," I said, turning to face him. "I tried. I couldn't get them over my thighsÉ" I leaned into him, breathing in the heady fragrance of my man. He started to laugh and grabbed my ass.
"Yes! Finally! All those squats and now these quads and this ass are even finer. Stud, don't you know you are beautiful to me? I'd like nothing more than throwing you down and fucking that fine ass right now to show you, but we're late." He barked. "Come on."
I reached for my jacket on the bed. "I still don't know why we're in such a hurry. It's just you and me and we have all afternoon. We can just pick up some sandwiches on the way."
"I have it all planned out. I want you to see the sun hit the property at noon proper. And who knows, maybe we can start planning where we want to site the house? Wouldn't that be fun?" he joked. He was so excited that I couldn't help but smile. He'd been running around all morning, making trips to the truck with who knows what. I somehow suspected that he wanted to get me up there and seduce me again the way he had in early September when he'd shown me his mountain top property the first time. I had been overwhelmed by the natural beauty of the location, but not so impressed by the 15 minutes it had taken to drive up once we'd turned off the paved road. However, the sunset, the views, the warm late summer evening, and the presence of this man next to me had won me over and we'd made love, gently, on an old blanket he'd brought along with us. I'd listened to the sounds of crickets and cicadas as the breeze on our naked bodies cooled us in our post-coital embrace and told him I loved him. It was all still so raw and new that night. I smiled to myself and was shaken back to the present by the sound of his voice.
"Hey Stud! You gonna get in the truck or just stand there by it all day!" He yelled. I shook my head to loosen the cobwebs and jumped in. I loved his old work truck, mostly because it smelled like his old sweat and the mountains inside. It was filled with the detritus of his work as well. I took a glance in the backseat's crewcab and wondered what he was doing with all of that stuff.
"What is all that?" I asked.
"Just some stuff for our picnic. That cold front blew through so it might get colder this afternoon too." He said, dismissively. "It's not that much. Just being a good scout."
I smiled at the thought of that giant man in a scout uniform and wondered if that was future fantasy material. Maybe.
It was after 11:30 by the time we turned off the main road and headed up the washed-out gravel trail to the top of the mountain. Joe had turned on the truck's four-wheel drive and I could feel the crunch of gravel as his tires sought purchase. We had stopped at the Speckled Egg CafŽ in Flat Rock and one other store and loaded boxes which he was being Mr. Mysterious about. I had said we could have sandwiches and he said that's all we were having. He just needed to pick up some other things too. Very strange.
By the time we had gained his gravel parking area, the wind was whipping across the wild grass and rocks. This area was slightly above the tree line and gave sweeping views across the entire Blue Ridge escarpment. It never ceased to take my breath away.
"Hey, let's get moving," He said bounding out of the truck. The coolness of the breeze hit me and I realized my bulky sweater had been the right outfit for the day. The wind was cold! "I'll get the tent and start up the hill if you can grab a box or two?"
A box or two? It was probably 100 yards up the hill but I grabbed what I could. I marveled at Joe's strength yet again as he had our tailgating tent perched on one shoulder as if it were as light as a 2x4, and in the other arm cradled two large boxes. I was panting when I made the crest next to him.
"Here, help me get the tent out and up. We'll have to work quickly to tie it down in this wind," He said, unzipping the canvas carrier. I helped him and within minutes we had the frame set up but trying to keep the top on was going to be another matter.
"Here," he directed. "You just stand her and hold this and I'll get it staked in." I stood in the center of the canopy and watched this huge man move stealthily and cat-like from one corner to the next, reaching, pulling, grasping and then hammering the tie-downs into the ground with stakes using a small sledge hammer. `where had that come from?' I wondered.
Once secure, he beckoned me back down the hill to the truck. "Just grab those last two heat-safe bags and I'll get this table and these other things out of the bed."
"Heat safe bags?" I asked. "What the hell, Joe?"
"It's a cool, breezy day. I didn't want you to have just cold sandwiches." He laughed and I sighed, grabbing the large bags and stumbling back up the hill. It took another ten or fifteen minutes but we finally had everything set up and stowed under the tent though Joe did not unpack a box or bag yet. Instead, he pulled out an old quilt he usually carried in the back of his truck. In fact, it was the same quilt we'd spread out up here last month when we'd made love in the lingering dusk. He walked to a rock outcropping overlooking the northwest face, spread it and beckoned to me.
"Hey, come here and sit down for a minute," He commanded, and I joined him on the blanket, slipping easily under his left arm and snuggling at the beauty of the site that did not need any words. He nuzzled into the side of my neck and said, "Wouldn't it be great to wake up to this view every morning?"
"It sure would," I said. "Although I wonder if this wind would always be howling around whatever you try to build up here."
"Wouldn't matter if I'm waking up to it with you," he said soft and low. I pushed into him more, less for warmth than nearness. I had fallen hopelessly for this guy in such a short time. It meant so much to have such an open and strong partner after the years of Butch and his moods and É I wouldn't think about that now. I'd just close my eyes and live in the moment. In a month or so, Butch would officially be out of my life. I could move forward with this man, if we decided to do so. I felt his lips underneath my ear, his kisses rising over me along my trimmed hairline.
"You know I love you so much, don't you?" He asked, plaintively.
"I love you too, Joe. I never thought I could be this happy again." I answered truthfully.
"Yes?" He said, pulling away and looking me deeply in the eyes.
"Yes," I smiled. "How could you not know that? You make me happier than I ever thought I could be again."
He smiled then and reached behind him for something. "Well, I was hoping that you felt just one tenth of what I've come to feel these last few months because Jason Scott Perry, I'm crazy in love with you, and I dragged you up here today, and all of that stuff, because, well," I smiled, what the hell was he stumbling on about.
"What?" I asked impatiently, oblivious.
"Will you be with me forever? And let me love you for even longer?" he asked, shoving a large, black jewelry box forward into my hands.
"Wait? What? Joe, are you serious?" I stumbled, grasping the box. Afraid to open it.
"Of course, man. I love you. I never want to be apart from you. I want to grow old with you and never leave you," He stumbled, tears forming in those big, brown eyes. I touched the water on his weather-roughened cheek and was astounded at the amount of love I felt in this moment. This strong, fearful, lost man I'd met just over four months ago, so lonely and set apart, so heart-broken and unsure, was now, what? The confident man before me asking me to share his life with him.
"But you know my divorce isn't final yet. Something could happen in the next month or so to fuck that up. I'm not free yet." I hesitated.
"I know all that and I don't care. I'll wait as long as I have to but I want you to know. I'm pledging myself to you today, for always." He said loudly over the wind, clutching me to him.
I struggled to open the box and gawked at the silver band inside. I took it out gingerly. I didn't have my glasses on or my contacts in, dammit. I peered at the engravings.
"It's panther tracks Ð I took a plaster mold of one and the jeweler duplicated and reduced them exactly. And our initials along with the date we met on your porch." He said quietly. "It's platinum," he added. "Is it okay? You're scaring me, Jay."
"It'sÉ" I halted. "It's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever given me, Joe. Of course, I'll marry you. I love you. Of course!" I smiled leaning forward to kiss him.
He enveloped me into a huge embrace and gave me a long and body-warming kiss before pulling back. "Who said anything about getting married?"
"What?" I said, gasping for breath after that kiss. Then he kissed me again, chuckling.
"Just kidding, Stud. I'll get married, get your name tattooed on my dick, convert. Hell, I'd do anything for you, don't you know that. But right now, I need your help." He said, jumping up and reaching for my hand. I struggled to take it. I still had the jeweler's box in my left hand and was unsure what to do with the ring inside.
"Wait, what? Do I put this on? Help with what?" I asked haltingly.
"We've got to get this picnic set up quick. Our entire families will be here any minute, if they didn't get stuck trying to get up the mountain," he barked over his shoulder.
"Wait? What?" God, I sounded like a stupid broken record but my head was an emotional mess and I couldn't think straight. "Our families?" I yelled.
"Yeah, I invited them for lunch to celebrate and for all of them to see our future home site," He yelled back over the wind. I walked into the tent and punch him on his very broad, and well-muscled left shoulder.
"Ow!" he said in mock theatrics. No way in hell did that hurt him. "What was that for?"
"You are pretty damned cocky!" I shouted. "What if I'd said NO?"
"It would have been a pretty depressing picnic," he grinned back at me. "Now put that ring on Ð just slide it on the right hand for now. When it's official, you can rock the left hand. Then help me get these trays out and set up. There's a big bucket and some ice over there for the cold wines. In that box, there should be an urn and the wax burners for the heated trays."
"Heating trays? Who are you and what have you done with Joe?" I asked, dumbfounded. "There's no way you even know what those are."
"Kevin at the Speckled Egg gave me some pointers when I made my order last week. They taught me how to set everything up." He smiled, working quickly. I joined in, at his orders, and we started setting up what looked like a reception under our tailgating tent.
"Wait. Kevin's not another one of your down-low Grindr guys, is he?" I looked at him.
"No comment," he smiled back. "But it pays to get a discount on this much food. Wait `til you taste his stuffed mushrooms," he said grabbing me again and pulling me in for a kiss. I reached up to swat his head in the lessening breeze but he side-stepped and swatted my hand away.
"Stop! I worked on my hair and I want the photographer to see me at my best!"
"Wait, what? A photographer is coming too?" I yelled in consternation.
Later That Afternoon, BROCK:
I sipped what was left of my mimosa from underneath my mask then stood to go get a refill. I turned to the two older women sitting in camp chairs in the full sun to my right.
"Ladies, can I get you all a refill?"
"No thank you, I'm still working on this one," Ms. Shirley, Joe's grandmother answered.
"I'll take another one," the slight black woman, Ms. O'Della, her friend, reached out her glass to me. "I love it when a gentleman knows how to treat the ladies," she smiled up at her friend and me.
"Happy to do it," I said, stepping over some rock outcroppings and heading to the side of the tent with the bar set up. I poured the prosecco and added some OJ to our two glasses. Jason walked up beside me.
"Dad, I would've played bartender. You didn't have to do that."He said.
"It's no problem. Miss O'Della and I needed refills and I can always serve myself."I said.
"You okay? You and Doc okay?" He asked, looking straight through me.
"Yeah, Bud. All okay. I've just had a rough few weeks,"I smiled back at him. "It's a big day. We're happy for you. Don't be worrying about us."
"Dad. I'm glad you finally told me. But it's still scary to think about you in the hospital with all that is happening right now," he blurted out.
"I didn't want you to worry, but Doc said I should be honest with you. Now don't worry. I'm just sorry more of our family couldn't be here to celebrate," I said honestly. With the crowd of Ms. O'Della's older son Frank and his wife, plus his son-in-law Tyrell, who'd done most of the construction work on the cabin and his wife, it was definitely a pro Joe crowd I was looking out on. Small, all masked and sort of distanced, but still, all of Joe's folks.
"It's okay," Jason said, wistfully. "I had enough of signal to take Chase's facetime call when it came through. I can't believe Joe had told him ahead of time. And Sam probably couldn't get through. I'll call he and Janie later."
I smiled thinking Sam probably hadn't made the same amount of effort that Chase had, but I wouldn't think ill of Luke or any of his progeny today. I loved this boy like he was mine and his happiness was all that mattered.
"I love you, Bud. All we both want is for you to be happy. Are you happy?" I asked him, levelly.
"Yes sir!" He smiled back at me. "I don't know when I've been so happy. I love him to pieces, Dad."
"Yeah, that's the worst kind to have," I said, grumpily, then feeling bad. "Doc and I are happy for you, Stud. Go mingle with his folks. I better deliver these drinks. We'll talk more later."
"You sure you're okay, Dad?" he asked.
"I love you, Bud. I'm so happy for you. Now git!" I said and walked away. Why was I being such a shit and worrying my kid on his surprise big day? I didn't know what was up but I painted on a smile and handed over a glass to the smiling woman before me.
"Here you go, Sweetheart!" I said handing her a glass. Then I took mine and settled into my soccer chair to watch those walking around.
"Everything going okay?" Luke asked, coming up to sit beside me on my left.
"Yeah," I said, looking over.
"What did Jason have to say?" He asked, eyeing me warily.
"He's happy. Wished his little brothers could be here but was glad he got to talk to Chase." I answered flatly. I realized we were talking loud enough for the older ladies to hear when Joe's Gram asked, "How many sons do you boys have besides Jason?"
I looked at Luke and raised one eye brow? Let him handle this loaded question or me? He smiled at me and I let out a sigh of relief. Sometimes it paid to be in love with a handsome man who was impeccably social and well-heeled (even if he did irritate the shit out of me these days).
"I have two biological sons from my previous marriage," Luke said, leaning forward slightly toward the ladies and showing his phone with a picture of all three smiling men. "Jason was a former student who rented out my garage apartment after he graduated from Furman. We hit it off and unofficially adopted him into the family more than ten years ago."
"Well, it's a unique family, that's for sure," Ms. Shirley answered. "I'm glad Joe has found someone who can help him have that family that he's been missing all these years."
"Gay men can certainly have families," Luke corrected, but still smiling.
"Oh I know, I didn't mean any offense!" Ms. Shirley answered quickly. "I was so worried that Joe was just going to be by himself forever or worried about having to take care of me. Believe me, no one is more excited about this union than I am."
"Got that right!" Ms. O'Della echoed. "And that sure is one fine boy you got there. I know that Joe is a big strong boy, but that blonde one, wellÉ" she trailed off. Joe's Gram swatted at her hand.
"Della's got a soft spot for blonde white boys. I'm not sure how with all those fine, grown boys of her own," Shirley cooed. "No, Dr. Smyth. I am grateful that Joe has your family and your family's example. And now he's found his father too. He seems happier than I've ever seen him."
"Yes ma'am. They both do," I echoed and Luke eyed me, smiling.
Later, we helped the boys load most of the supplies in Joe's truck after the other guests had left. They asked us to go by the cabin and Luke wanted to, I think, but I put them off. They needed to be by themselves to celebrate, and I thought, to fuck. I was ready to get home and asked Luke if I could drive his truck down the mountain and home.
"Yeah, sure."He said.
"You don't mind?" I asked him again.
"Why would I mind? It's your truck too?" He said, crawling in the passenger seat. "And besides, maybe I'll take a nap this time around." Dig, dig. I put the truck into four-wheel drive and turned to follow Joe's green park-service rig down the gravel road.
"I'm thinking they'll need to put in a better drive before they start getting contractor's trucks up here. As it is, there's no way a well-digging operation can make it up this drive with trucks of that size right now." I surmised.
"Hmm," He said yawning. "I hadn't thought they'd have to put in a well."
"Yeah," I said. "I talked to Joe earlier. Septic, well, the whole deal. Luckily there is power along that lower road so it'll be a straight shot up, but even power will probably have to be underground the last five hundred yards or so. They are going to talk to that brother of Franks about an architect out of Brevard that specializes in siting mountain houses to the land." I said, anxious to fill the quiet with conversation.
"Sounds like y'all talked a lot earlier." He said matter-of-factly.
"He was excited. I'm excited for them," I said.
"Really? Could have fooled me?" he answered sitting up.
"Luke. I don't want to fight anymoreÉ" I began.
"I don't either. But you can't pretend you were your usual self today. It was like I was making you be there, especially when we first got there." He said talking louder now. "And you say you love him like he's your own."
"Don't tell me how I feel, Luke." I answered angrily. "I said I don't want to fight. I was tired. I admit it. And I am happy for the boys."
"But?" he asked, looking over at me as we rattled down the rutted drive.
"But? Hell, I don't know. It's only been four months. His divorce isn't final yet. So much could happen. This fucking virus could take off again and we could all die. I don't know!" I yelled back at him. He stared at me and then moved to look out the windshield.
"And there it is," he said, finally.
"There what is?" I asked, quieter now.
"I know you're worried. I can't pretend to know what you see at the hospital every day. But I know you're carrying it around and if you don't let it out it's going to kill you or make both of us increasingly unhappy." He started.
"Are you unhappy with me?" I snapped back.
"Hell yes." He answered. "Who wouldn't be when you are moping and angry most of the time and when I know you chose this." He held up a hand to cut me off. "I know it's the right thing. And I am fucking proud of you for using your gifts and your knowledge to help people. Most days I am so fucking proud, but it's hard to always be supportive when it's making you sick, B. Not physically, I don't think, but it is taking its toll on you mentally. And I don't know what to do to make it better."
I could feel my eyes fill and I blinked the water away, leaning up to focus on the narrow track and swallow down the emotion. He was right. I hated it when he was right and when knew me better than I knew myself. But what could I do?
"I think you're right. But I'm committed now. I can't quit?" I said defensively.
"I know you can't. But you could talk to someone. Why not talk to Maggie?" He offered.
"I know that you and Jason think that Dr. Patterson is the be all, end all, but I'm not sure psychotherapy is for me. I'm not wired like the two of you," I said shortly.
"Do you have any better ideas?" He scoffed. Frankly, I didn't.
Finally, I pushed down my bile and found my heart enough to speak from it. "I love you, Luke. I'm glad I have someone who loves me enough to fight for me, even when I don't deserve it."
"There are many things you don't deserve, Shit head, but my love is not one of them. You are the finest man I've ever known Ð how could I not love you," He answered smiling at me.
"But you still think I'm a shit head?" I smiled at him.
"When you won't talk, and you grumble about like a cave man? Yes, definitely." He said, looking away, smugly. "And the weird thing is it's just not in your nature. Normally, I'm the hyper-sensitive, OCD one and you are so level-headed and sure-footed. That's what has been so hard for me to watch. You've just not been yourself."
"Well, I'm glad I love an asshole like you who can keep me straight. I hope those two Neanderthals ahead of us have 1/10th the amount of love between them as we do." I said, meaning it. "They're going to need it."
"I think they'll be okay," he said, reaching out his left hand for my right on the gear shift. "They'll be okay `cause they have us. It's easier when you have a goal to aspire to."
I laughed. "You think we're aspirational?"
"Damn right I do," he answered. "And I'll fight any man who says otherwise."
"Well," I harrumphed. "I've learned not to argue with you when you've got your back up, that's for sure. Want to beat my ass on the wrestling mats when we get home?"
"Nothing would give me greater pleasure," he said, squeezing my hand.
"You know, I might just beat your ass someday," I smiled back.
"I know." He said, quietly. And that was enough.