The following program contains material suited for a mature audience. If you are not over 18 you should be leaving now. Of course I can't control you and neither can anyone else really. This story is entirely false except for the true parts. This is the final segment of this story and I highly recommend reading the preceding segments, which can be found in the Nifty Archive. And now for our feature presentation. Viewer Discretion is advised...
My web site is located at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Atrium/2898.
Jason & Taylor- Segment X by: Chip Dyp (chipdyp@hotmail.com)
I lay in bed, awake but comfortable. It was my last day of high school. Today, I'd officially graduate. I had passed all my exams and to no one's surprise made the honour roll. At the ceremony later this afternoon, I would be receiving several scholarships, not to mention a few academic awards. My love let out a little moan, and wiggled in our bed. I snuggled in closer to Taylor, and began kissing his bare chest. I had forgiven him, but I still wondered why he had been lying to me. My love groaned and rolled towards me, holding me tightly in his frail arms.
"Morning sexy," I said as his eyes flickered open.
"Morning yourself," Taylor replied with a yawn. "You wore me out last night. We'll have to do that again."
"You weren't so bad yourself," I said rubbing Taylor's sunken belly.
"Care for an encore performance?"
"Naughty boy," Taylor said kissing the tip of my nose. "Perhaps I should give you a great big hickey for the grad ceremony."
"Don't you dare! One hickey in a lifetime is plenty." I leaned in to Taylor and began kissing him passionately. His arms held onto my shoulders, while my hands roved lower on his body. After I broke the kiss I whispered "Are you sure we don't have time for a quickie?"
"Positive," Taylor said, sighing. "You go shower now, I'll have one after I drop you off."
"It would be more fun if we showered together," I replied seductively, letting the sheets fall from my naked body as I stood.
"Yes, but very time consuming." Taylor said rearranging the sheets to cover himself.
I smiled at Taylor and slipped into my thick flannel robe. "I'll be right back beautiful."
After a quick shower, I walked back into the room, and found Taylor fast asleep. He looked so beautiful, just lying there. I must have really worn him out last night. I grabbed my clothes and snuck back out into the hallway where I dressed silently. Taylor didn't need to drive me to the school. I'd have dad drive me and make sure that he woke Taylor up later in the morning.
The morning of my graduation was a whirlwind of activity as we did the final practice, and filled out some paperwork for Saskatchewan Education. When lunch rolled around, Jen, Kim, John and I went to Boston Pizza and celebrated our impending freedom. We all toasted each other and talked about what we had planned for the future. I was looking forward to spending a lot of time with Taylor this summer. I wanted to spend as much time as possible looking after my beautiful love.
The graduation ceremony seemed to take forever as we sat in the hot and humid auditorium. By the time the guest speaker finally shut his yap and the ceremony ended, I needed to get into the cool air outside. I slipped out the main doors of the auditorium and stood in the cool breeze. It was so beautiful after the stale air in the auditorium. Taylor pushed open the door to the Centennial Auditorium, and smiled at me. "A little too hot for you?"
"Yeah, how about you?"
"It was a little muggy for my tastes. So, my dear boy, why didn't you wake me up this morning? I was quite shocked when your dad tapped me on the shoulder."
"You looked so peaceful just lying there, I decided not to wake you."
"Mmm, well, that means I have to give you your gift now."
"If it's going to get us arrested for indecent exposure, then I can wait."
Taylor playfully cuffed me on the back of the head and smiled at me.
"No, it won't get us arrested." I watched as Taylor's hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out a velvet-covered box. "For you," Taylor said as he took my hands and placed the box between them. "I love you."
I smiled at Taylor and opened the box, fully expecting to find the ring that I had found two months ago. Sitting in the dark velvet was a medium width gold band. It looked like a wedding band. I looked over at Taylor, and he just smiled at me. "The other ring is at home on your dresser," He said taking the box from me and pulled the ring out. He slipped it onto my finger and then looked into my eyes. "This ring represents my love for you. It is never-ending, like my love and I want you to know that, no matter what happens, I will always love you. I know I haven't been the best boyfriend of late," I started to interrupt Taylor, but he put his finger to my lips and continued. "I want you to know that tomorrow morning, after the Prom, I will tell you the secret that I have been keeping."
"Taylor, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to keep your secret a secret it doesn't matter to me, as long as I have you."
"Thanks," Taylor said as he kissed me on the cheek. "But I'll tell you tomorrow all the same."
"There you two are," said my dad as he snapped another picture of my in my cap and gown. "Stand a little closer together so I can get a good picture of you two."
I moved closer to Taylor and wrapped my arm around his back. He placed his hand on my butt and goosed me as my dad took the picture. My dad laughed as I chased Taylor back into the Auditorium to get my revenge. After I had suitably goosed Taylor, we came back outside and let my dad take the requisite roll of pictures. After the pictures were taken, and the robes returned, we went home so Taylor and I could change into our tuxedos. Taylor looked divine in his tuxedo, even though he had lost a lot of weight since the fitting. I had been on Taylor's ass to eat more over the past two months, but I don't think it did any good. He was skinnier than ever.
During the grad supper I watched as Taylor sat at the table eating very little. Every time he looked up at me and saw me looking at him, he would pop something from his plate into his mouth. Taylor seemed very withdrawn and tired. Every time someone would ask him a question, he'd look up and seem almost lost. When the dance finally started, Taylor took my hand and we danced under the foil stars that the auditorium was decorated with. As we danced, I noticed that Taylor's movements were very hesitant, and it seemed that each dance was taking so much out of him. When the dance ended, the graduating class and escorts drove back to the cafeteria where the Chem-Free Grad party was being held. Taylor and I spent the night gambling away all of our pretend money with the rest of the graduating class. By the end of the night, we had both lost all of the pretend money, but we'd had a great time. Taylor looked so haggard and tired when the graduate breakfast came around, that I wanted to go home and skip breakfast.
Taylor wouldn't hear of it though. He insisted we stay and complete the final grad ritual.
After we finally finished breakfast, Taylor had me drive the Sunfire home. He sat in the passenger seat, struggling to stay awake. As I pulled into the driveway he looked at me and tried to smile. "I'm sorry," he said, touching my cheek. "I wasn't very good company last night."
"None of that," I said pulling Taylor close for a kiss, "You were the perfect date. I love you Taylor."
"I love you too."
Taylor undid his seatbelt and sat in the seat just looking at the garage door. It was almost as though standing was beyond him at that moment. Finally, he pulled himself out of the car and led the way to the house.
Once inside, Taylor stood by the front door, almost as if he weren't sure what he was supposed to do next. I untied my shoes and pulled off my shoes and watched as Taylor slowly followed suit. I swore to myself that Taylor and I weren't getting out of bed until suppertime. He was exhausted.
Taylor seemed to know where he was going once he got his shoes off. I followed him closely as he shakily climbed the stairs and walked into our room. As he entered, he pulled off his jacket and his pants and just let them drop to the floor. Taylor struggled with the buttons on the dress shirt, but finally managed to get them and the bow tie undone. When he was finally undressed, he fell onto the bed and closed his eyes. I just shook my head and hung both of our tuxedos up so that they wouldn't get wrinkled.
I went to the bathroom and got cleaned up for bed while Taylor slept. When I got back to the room, Taylor was looking towards the door, his eyes half closed. I turned off the light and sat down on the edge of the bed. I gently rubbed Taylor's arm and then crawled into bed with him. Taylor was shivering under the covers and his body was cool to the touch. I frowned and looked at him, before I asked, "Are you all right, Taylor?"
Taylor just looked at me with sad eyes and shook his head. "I haven't been all right for a while now. There's nothing they can do for me anymore." A tear ran down his cheek.
I struggled to hold back my own tears as I pulled Taylor closer to me. "What do you mean, there's nothing they can do for you anymore?"
"I'm as good as dead," Taylor paused and tried to smile for me. "I'm sorry, Jason. I love you."
"Taylor, you aren't making sense. You're scaring me, baby."
Taylor nodded and closed his eyes. "Remember when I had that car accident? When I was in the hospital they did a couple of scans and found a tumour."
"A tu...tumour?" I asked fearfully. I knew what was coming next but I didn't want to hear it.
"A cancerous, non-operable, non-treatable brain tumour. They gave me no more than a year in November, but Dr. Werner thinks that if I make it through July, I'll be lucky."
"He's wrong!" I protested. I couldn't believe that I was going to lose Taylor to cancer, after I'd already lost my mom.
Taylor shook his head and wiped away my tears. "I should've told you in November, but I was afraid that you'd stay in the relationship, or that it would hurt you."
"Oh Taylor."
"I'm sorry, Jason. I'm so sorry."
I stroked Taylor's arm and pulled him closer. "I've just found you and now I'm going to lose you."
Taylor didn't say anything. He just lay beside me, not able to look me in the eye. There were so many things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted to scream and yell, but I knew that it would do no good. Instead, I lifted Taylor's chin and kissed him. When I broke the kiss, I hugged him tight and whispered, "I love you, Taylor."
"I love you, too," Taylor whispered.
I pulled his head to my chest and held him as he fell asleep. When he was finally asleep, I cried quietly and gently stroked his back. I heard my dad wake up just as I fell asleep.
When I woke up late that afternoon, I felt Taylor's cold skin against mine. I opened my eyes and looked at him. His skin was cool to the touch, and when I tried to wake him, there was no response. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I rolled Taylor onto his back. Taylor's eyes were closed and he wasn't breathing. His lips had a faint blue tinge to them. I kissed Taylor one last time, and rolled out of bed.
The tears were rolling down my face as I walked out of my room and down the stairs. I could hear the TV playing in the family room as I walked into the kitchen. I sat down at the kitchen table and rested my head in my hands. The tears started in earnest as the enormity of Taylor's death hit me.
As my dad walked into the kitchen from the family room, he asked, "Hey kiddo, how was the prom?" It didn't take him long to figure out that something was wrong. "Hey, what's wrong, Jason?"
I couldn't even answer as I sat there crying. My dad wrapped his arm over my shoulder and pulled my head to his shoulder.
"Shhhhh, baby. It's all right." My dad held onto me until I stopped crying. "Now tell me what's wrong?"
"Taylor's dead, dad. He's dead. Everyone I love dies."
"What do you mean he's dead? Where is he?"
"What do you think I mean," I yelled. "He's upstairs in bed. He died last night." I started crying harder than ever as my dad picked me up and put me down on the sofa. He covered me up with a blanket and went upstairs. I lay on the couch crying, wishing that I still had Taylor to make me feel better.
Not too long later, I heard some people come into the house. I could hear my dad talk to them and then I heard the familiar sound of feet on the stairs. My eyes closed and I fell asleep once more. A little later, my dad woke me up so I could talk to the police officer that was investigating the death. After a quick talk with the cops, my dad made some soup, and sat down beside me.
"I'm so sorry, Jason. When did he tell you about the tumour?"
"This morning. He's known about it since the car accident." I just looked at the bowl of soup that my dad had made for me.
"Oh," My dad said.
"He didn't want to tell me. He didn't want to hurt me. God, I'm so angry with him. Why didn't he tell me? It still hurts."
"If he had told you when he found out, you would've had to deal with it every day that you were together," My Dad said. "And I know it still hurts."
I nodded my head and curled up tighter with my dad. "Do you have his friend's phone numbers? I'll give them a call and let them know."
"I'll call them," I said quietly.
"Are you sure you want to do that?"
"I'm sure."
I slowly stood up and walked up to my room. The sheets still had the indentations from Taylor's body. I grazed the white sheet with my fingertips and tried not to cry. On my way over to the phone, I grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. When I was somewhat decent, I sat down at my phone. This was the hardest thing that I had ever had to do. I picked up the receiver and pressed the speed dial button for Jen and Dan. I only had to wait two rings before Jen answered the phone.
"Hey sex fiend," Jen said cheerfully. "Haven't heard from you in a while."
"Hi Jen," I said shakily.
"Oh, hi Jason. I thought you were Taylor."
"Taylor's dead," I blurted out.
"What?" Jen asked.
"Taylor's dead, he died this morning. Jen, I'm so sorry. I wanted to break it to you gently, but I just didn't know how to do it. I mean you've known him longer than I've known him and I should try and--"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down Jason. How did Taylor die?"
"He died from a brain tumour."
"Oh, God," Jen covered the receiver of the phone for a few seconds and the next voice I heard was Dan's. In the background I could hear Jen crying.
"Are you all right, Jason?" Dan asked.
"I'm all right. I'm so sorry, Dan."
"It's not your fault, Jason. Look, um, I've got to go take care of Jen. If you need someone to talk to, give me a call, all right?"
"I will."
The phone clicked as Dan hung up. I looked at the receiver for a few seconds and then hung up the phone. I thought about who I had to call next. I was just about to pick the phone up when it rang.
"Hello."
"Hey, Jason. So did you and Taylor have a good time?" John asked. I didn't answer for a long time. "Hello, Jason? Are you there?"
"I'm here," I replied as tears began to flow from my eyes. I thought about the prom, and how I danced with Taylor.
"What's wrong, Jason?" John asked.
"Taylor died this morning."
"What?"
"Taylor died this morning."
"Oh God, Jason. I'm so sorry. Are you all right?"
"I'm all right," I replied quietly.
"I'm coming right over," John said. There was a discussion in the background for a couple of seconds and then I heard John again, "Jen and Kim are coming too."
"Thanks. I could really use some friends around."
I hung up the phone and started crying again. It wasn't fair. Taylor and I were supposed to be together forever. How dare he leave me? I didn't hear the knock on my door when my friends arrived, but they let themselves into the room. When I saw my friends, I stood up and almost fell back onto the couch. John came over and hugged me tightly, while Kim and Jen stood off to the side. When my mom had died, John, Kim, and Jen had all helped me. And they were here at my side again.
"Come on, buddy. Let's sit down," John said, guiding me to the couch. Jen sat to one side of me, while John sat on the other side. Kim sat on the floor in front of me, looking up into my eyes.
We all sat in silence for almost a minute before anyone got up the courage to speak. "So what happened?" Kim finally asked, breaking the silence.
"He had cancer," I replied quietly. John's arms twitched and pulled me closer.
"When did he tell you?" Jen asked.
"He told me this morning before he died. He's known..." I stopped and corrected myself. "He found out about the tumour in November."
"Couldn't they do anything? I mean he didn't look like he was getting treatment." Kim asked, biting her bottom lip.
"The doctor's couldn't treat it. There was nothing they or he could do," I replied mournfully. The tears started again. John began rubbing my back, trying to comfort me. No one spoke while I cried. No one knew what to say.
When the tears stopped once more, John asked, "Did you get much sleep today?"
I shook my head, and just looked at the floor. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight."
"Well, why don't we try," John said. Kim and Jen kissed me on the cheek and left me with John.
"You don't have to stay," I protested, "I'll be all right."
"Jason, it's all right," John said as he helped me up. "Why don't you go get ready to go to sleep, I'll make up your bed."
"I--," I started. I didn't want to sleep where Taylor had died, not eight hours ago.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," John said. "I'll go get the spare bed ready for us."
I just nodded and looked down at the floor when John left the room. I walked over to my bed and sat at the edges. I lay down on the cool sheets, and smiled as I thought about all the times Taylor and I had laid in bed together. When John came back from the spare room, he came over and lifted me into his arms. I was crying as he gently carried me from the room where Taylor died. He put me down on the floor in the spare bedroom, and coaxed me out of my shirt and sweats. I stood in front of John in only my underwear. John helped me into the bed and took off his clothes. I watched as he pulled off his shirt and his pants, leaving him in a pair of white briefs.
"Are you sure you want to stay with me?" I asked. "When mom died, you didn't know I was gay. Aren't you afraid--"
"Afraid of what, Jason? I trust you and it doesn't matter that you are gay. A friend of mine is hurting, and he needs my help."
I smiled at John, and closed my eyes. John turned off the light and slid under the covers with me. I could feel his warm body as he pulled my head to his chest. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but it didn't do any good. I started crying harder than I had cried all day. Taylor was gone. John pulled me close and stroked my back until I finally fell asleep.
The next few days were tough. My dad and my family helped a lot with the funeral arrangements, while Jen, Kim, and John helped me deal with the loss. They had helped me when my mother had died and now they were helping me after I lost my lover. When Jacob arrived with my uncle and aunt, he came up and hugged me. He was a big help to me too.
The funeral was a non-religious affair. Taylor had arranged for a small ceremony to be held at a funeral home. I found out that the errands he'd been running just before my finals included preparing for his own death. There were about 50 people in the small room, but none of Taylor's family showed for the funeral. I sat in the front row with my family looking at the cherry coffin. When the funeral ended, I watched as the people filed by the coffin. Almost everyone stopped and offered me their condolences, but there were a few who didn't. They likely didn't know about Taylor and me.
When everyone had left, I stood and walked up to the coffin. I looked at Taylor lying so peacefully in the white satin. I touched his cool cheek and then leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you so much."
My dad came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. "We'll be waiting outside for you, Jason. Take your time."
I stood looking down on Taylor for almost fifteen minutes. I didn't want to leave him. Jacob peeked into the hall and walked over to me. He put his arm around my waist and looked up at me. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, I'm all right." I looked at Taylor one more time, and then looked over at Jacob.
"All right, I just wanted to make sure that you were all right. I'll go wait outside with everyone else. No hurry."
"It's all right. I'm done," I said as I pulled Jacob close.
Jacob and I walked out of the hall and over to where my father and friends waited. My dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder and walked me out to the car.
A couple of days later, Jen, Dan and I followed Taylor's wishes and scattered his ashes on the banks of the Saskatchewan River. Afterward, we went to the reading of Taylor's will. He left most of his money in a trust fund to be administered by my father. He wanted a place set up for gay teens that needed help. Taylor left all his worldly possessions and an educational trust for me. Taylor surprised Jen and Dan by leaving them a very healthy down payment on a house as a wedding gift. In his will, Taylor apologized to all of us on last time. In a private note, he left me a password to access files that he had encrypted and hidden on his Powerbook. It took me a long while to finally build up the courage to access the files, but I was glad I finally did. Taylor had left a fairly descriptive journal that I used as the basis for this story. I tried to be as faithful to his journal as possible, adding only what I thought was necessary. He also left me a letter explaining why he hadn't told me earlier about his brain tumour.
In the letter, he told me that he didn't want me to feel like I had to stay in love with him because he was dying. He wanted the relationship to follow it's own course. He didn't want to be treated different just because he wasn't going to be around. It me a long while, but finally, I understood what he meant.
I still haven't decided what I am going to do without Taylor. I was hoping that when I finished this project of mine, I would be able to remember Taylor, but move on. That hasn't happened.
The future is a scary place, but we must soldier on.
END. 123,774 Words December 1997-January 2000