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Jared the Paramedic - Volume II Chapter 4 - Reawakenings
Zane took Jesse upstairs to the top floor where he had his apartment. It was older furniture, but very neat.
Jesse was quiet at first, but as they made supper together, he started talking more. Finally, the two of them were laughing at jokes and swapping stories.
They ate their meal and talked about Zane's ideas for an expansion of the centre to help even more people. Jesse listened and put every idea into his memory for future use. They cleaned up supper and sat on the couch together.
"Jesse, you don't need to sleep on the couch. I have a large bed and I'm not expecting anything other than you getting a good night's rest," Zane said slowly. "We need our new lawyer to be on top of his game."
Jesse looked at his hands on his lap. "I don't think that's a good idea, Zane. I appreciate it and believe you but I'll stay here on the couch for tonight. I'll try and find somewhere else tomorrow."
"Jesse, you can use the couch as long as you want. There's no need for you to go anywhere else," said Zane with concern.
All Jesse said was, "Thank you."
"Do you want to shower before you go to bed?" asked Zane.
"Could I please?"
"Of course you can, Jesse," he said as he pulled him by the hand to the bathroom. He showed him where the towels and shower gel were.
While Jesse was in the shower, Zane got the couch ready for him to sleep on. He thought about Jesse and how complex he was. He could take over and give orders with no problem one moment, and then he was overcome with memories and grief the next. Zane sat on the floor and thought some more. He was attracted to Jesse, and wanted to help him. He wasn't sure if it was feelings of attraction or his needing help which was the basis of his desire towards him. From the way he and Julie had spoken, he began to suspect Jesse's family may have had or may still have some money. He was really worried about Jesse and what could be bipolar swings of mania to depression.
"Zane, you look deep in thought sitting there," said Jesse.
Zane was startled but looked at Jesse standing there in his tight boxer briefs. Jesse was beautiful. He had blonde hair across his broad chest which tapered around the belly button, disappearing under his tight shorts. The package hidden behind them looked impressive as it bulged out. Zane could even see the uncut head outlined in his briefs. Even his legs were beautiful and solid looking. The blond hairs covered his legs and went all the way up disappearing under the tight leg bands of the briefs.
'He is gorgeous,' thought Zane as he felt flushed. "Did you enjoy the shower, Jesse?"
"Yes, it was nice and it's been a long time since I had a long hot shower," said Jesse. "What were you deep in thought about, Zane? You were right out of it. I called to you a couple of times before you responded."
Zane hesitated for a moment, but answered. "Do you want an honest answer, Jesse."
Jesse thought for a moment, and then looked down. "You're worried about me, aren't you?"
Zane stood and moved towards him and grasped his hands. "Yes, I'm worried about you Jesse. I want to help you and I am afraid if I try, you might run away and then I would never see you again."
Jesse stared at Zane. He could feel the warmth of Zane's hands, and it felt good to him. "Zane, I don't know what to say."
"Let me help you, please, Jesse. You have so much to offer the Centre and we need you here. Helping is what we do," said Zane.
Jesse didn't say anything and Zane pulled him into a hug. Jesse did nothing at first, but after some time, he started to hug him back. This felt good, thought Jesse. It is so nice to be hugged, so safe from the world when you are getting a full hug. He liked Zane, and he felt a connection to him, but he was afraid to show any affection to just anyone. He didn't want anyone else he loved to die on him.
Zane could feel the tension begin to flow out of Jesse's body as he continued to hold him. He reached up and began to rub circles on Jesse's back as Julie had done. This caused Jesse to relax more, and settle into Zane more tightly. He could get used to this thought Zane.
Jesse was relaxing and really enjoying the contact between him and Zane. He felt so good, and he did feel something for him. Was this the person he could stay with? Jesse realized he was getting tired. He moved out of Zane's hug.
"You ok, Jesse?" asked Zane.
"I can honestly say yes, Zane," he replied. He then shyly asked, "If I sleep in your bed tonight, would you hold me a bit?"
"Yes, if that helps you go to sleep," said Zane. "Can I take a quick shower first?"
"It's your house, Zane."
"Let me tuck you into the bed before I shower," said Zane. He led Jesse into the bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed after pulling the sheets down. Jesse crawled into bed, and he pulled the sheets up. Zane leaned over and kissed Jesse's forehead before leaving for his shower.
Zane got into the shower and it didn't take him long to get hard thinking about Jesse standing in his living room in just his tight underwear. He was playing with his uncut cock, sliding the skin up and down over the big head, while he used his hand to slide up and down the shaft. He spread his legs and pushed one finger up into his ass and moaned out loud as it popped through the tight muscle. Zane started to finger fuck himself while he jerked and soon enough he blew a large load onto the shower wall. Zane had to lean against the wall to catch his breath. He wondered if he would ever feel Jesse's hard dick in his ass.
A few minutes later, in his florescent orange bikini briefs, he crawled into bed carefully. Jesse looked so cute lying on his side as he slept. It's too bad he was facing the other direction because Zane wanted to fall asleep while looking at his face. Zane moved over in the bed until his back was up against Jesse's. He felt Jesse stir a bit, and then he pushed his back into Zane. It felt so wonderful Zane thought as he fell asleep.
Sometime during the night, Jesse started to squirm around and mumble, like he was having a nightmare. It was enough to wake Zane, who rolled over and spooned in behind Jesse. He reached his arm over him, gently holding and pulling him in tight. Jesse used one arm to lock Zane's arm in place, and fell asleep again. Zane fell back asleep as well.
In the morning, Jesse woke with a startle when he opened his eyes but didn't recognize where he was for a moment. His movement woke Zane who was tight behind Jesse and his arm over him.
"You ok, Jesse?" asked Zane.
"Yes, I was startled when I woke up and forgot where I was," said Jesse as rolled onto his back. Zane did the same thing.
"You had a bit of a nightmare last night," said Zane. "It ended when I held you Jesse."
"Thank you Zane. It was probably the best sleep I've had in months. It's a comfortable mattress, and your hug helped me, too," said Jesse.
Zane slid his arm under Jesse and pulled him over to him on his side. Jesse put his head on Zane's chest and snuggled into him.
"This feels good, Zane," said Jesse.
Zane replied, "It does to me, too. We could stay like this all day, it's Saturday, Jesse. We don't have to work."
"Hmmmm," replied Jesse. "Zane, I haven't felt this safe and comfortable for a long time."
"To be honest, neither have I. You do something to me, Jesse," Zane said quietly.
Jesse looked up at Zane. "I don't know what I feel, Zane. I just need some time to sort it out."
"All the time in the world," said Zane. He leaned over and kissed Jesse on the forehead. "Let's go back to sleep for a little while."
"Good idea," replied Jesse as he dozed off again.
Zane listened to his breathing for a while and enjoyed the warmth from Jesse's body against his. He was soon asleep as well.
When they woke up finally, the two of them got up and had a light breakfast over strong coffee.
"I want to thank you for taking me in, Zane, and for the hugs," said Jesse.
"Hugs are free, we all need and deserve them. Taking you in is my pleasure, Jesse; it's what I do except this time you're bringing some valuable skills to the center which can really help us."
"I'll do anything I can to help out around here."
"I know you will Jesse, and anything you do will be appreciated."
"I'd like to go for a walk, Zane. I haven't been moving around as much as normal and I need to burn some energy off."
"Jesse, it's pretty safe around here but you still have to be careful where you go."
"Thanks for the warning; I'll stick to the travelled areas. Don't worry too much about me Zane, I can take care of myself if I have to."
"For some reason, I believe you can take care of yourself."
Jesse went and got dressed and headed out. Zane stayed in the apartment, making the bed and doing his usual Saturday dusting of the place. He was thinking about Jesse, especially in in his shorts with the hard on. He thought Jesse was warming up to him and maybe trusting him more. He had seemed more relaxed this morning especially when he fell asleep on his chest. He was worried about the mood swings Jesse had, but he knew over time they could be controlled if he could help him.
He thought about getting some laundry started and he was just about to start his first load when he thought he should get Jesse's clothing in the wash as well. He went to the medium sized backpack and thought for a moment before opening it. Zane thought about the backpack, and how it was basically Jesse's only private possession he had and if he would be insulted by him opening it.
Zane opened it and took the clothes out. They had been rolled up very nicely, even the dirty ones. There were some other items in the pack but he didn't touch them because they weren't clothing. There was a piece of paper come out with the last couple pairs of socks and it fell on the floor. Zane opened it and knew immediately was a well-worn wedding photo of Jesse and his husband Marc. Marc was a strikingly handsome man, and they made a beautiful couple. The way they were looking into each other's eyes, even Zane could feel the love flowing between them projected from the photo. He gently put it back in the pack, and placed the pack back in the corner of the living room. He sorted the meagre clothing and put it in piles or the washing machine. Zane noticed none of the clothing had a brand name on it and recognized much of it from the same big chain store he shopped at.
While the washer was working, Zane sat in his favorite chair with a book and a cup of coffee. His mind wouldn't focus on the book so he set it down. He was thinking about his life and how his mother died when he was young. His father had remarried, but she was an absolute bitch and treated him badly. She had a son of her own around his age and he could do no wrong. She was good at verbally shooting sharp barbs at Zane when his dad was present, pushing his buttons until he exploded. His relationship was circling the drain with his father when at 18 he told him he was gay. His father didn't react at first, considering it deeply. His wife on the other hand blew up and wanted him out of the house to protect her child from a gay predator. They argued for a week until she had beaten his dad down and he had told Zane that while he loved him, he had to go to preserve his marriage.
He gave Zane money, and would wire him money while Zane wandered around looking for a job and a place to live. He ended up in this shelter, and started working at it. They helped him go to school and get his social work degree while he was working at the Centre at night and on the weekends. The apartment he was in was the one they had given him to live in.
Zane had a few boyfriends throughout university, but they couldn't get enough of his time between school and the Centre work he was doing so the relationships didn't last long. After he graduated, he met a man and they became a couple very quickly. They spent time walking in the park, at the beach and the odd movie. Zane was frugal and didn't like spending money for a date when there was so much to do for free.
They grew close, and even talked about marriage at one time. One night, Zane went to his boyfriend's apartment as a surprise with a bottle of wine to share. After letting himself in, and going towards the bedroom he heard what he knew were sounds of passion coming from within the room. Zane had stood in the hallway listening for a moment before moving to the doorway. He saw his boyfriend and potential husband mounted in a college aged twink's ass.
The scene was ugly when Zane made his presence known. His boyfriend, for the first time had become violent and slapped Zane around as much he did the other young man. Zane finally fought back and punched his boyfriend in the face, and kneeing him right in the balls for good measure. He took the young man with him and they both escaped the apartment, and directly to the police. The police had taken photos of their injuries and statements. They arrested Zane's former boyfriend right away. The trial a couple of months later was covered by the media as the former boyfriend was a sports store owner. Other accusations from his staff and former staff alleging that he pressured them for sex came out after the arrest.
Zane was devastated and felt betrayed. He still can't even think the name of his former boyfriend and hasn't spoken it since that night. He did bring the twink to the shelter for help. The young man, named Justin, was a good kid who had run from his family because of pressure from school for being gay and uncontrolled depression. Zane helped him get help through the shelter for his depression while he worked on education by correspondence/on-line at the centre. He even facilitated reconciliation with his family and over time, Justin went back home. Their parting was tearful and Justin still sent him emails as well as chatting with him on the computer at least once a week. His parents, while not wealthy, were regular contributors to the Centre on a quarterly basis.
His former boyfriend will be in jail for many years, in protective custody for his crimes. Zane hadn't been in a relationship since then, throwing himself into his work and becoming almost asexual in his needs.
Zane thought about Jesse, and really didn't know if he could come out of his shell enough to form a relationship if the opportunity presented itself. He realised he had been excited thinking about Jesse and had even jacked off thinking about him, and that had been a big step for him. Zane had actually been having nocturnal emissions on a regular basis because he didn't feel like jacking off. He honestly enjoyed Jesse's company, but didn't know what to do. Last night when he jacked off was the first time he had felt like doing it in a long time.
"Zane, are you there?" someone was asking. Zane come back to the present and saw a vision of beauty in front of him. It took another moment for him to realize where he was and it was Jesse standing over him. He hadn't even heard him come into the apartment.
"Jesse, you're back," said Zane.
"Man, you were out of it again, just like last night. Are you ok?" asked Jesse.
"I'm fine Jesse. When I relax and concentrate, I enter a meditative state, almost a comatose state in reality. I'm fine," he said.
"That explains it, I guess," said Jesse.
"Jesse, it was something a long time ago my grandfather taught me. He was teaching me the old ways of the tribe but was murdered one night by someone looking for money as he was walking home one night. My father didn't believe or follow any of the old ways so that was the end of it."
Zane stood up and ran over the washer. It had finished a while ago by the looks of it. As he was pulling the clothes out and packing them into the dryer he said, "Jesse, I'm sorry but I took the clothing out of your backpack I could find without going through it to wash with mine. I hope you don't mind."
Zane looked at him for a reaction. Jesse thought for a moment before answering, "I don't mind, Zane. That bag is my home for all intents and purposes and has been for the last six months. I've never had anyone around who was considerate enough to something like that before and thank you for thinking of me when you did your washing."
"You're very welcome Jesse. It just made sense to me you needed some clothes washed and believe it or not, I sat in front of the bag for a few minutes before I opened it. I was worried I would offend you by going into your private bag."
"I understand, Zane and you let me into your private apartment so it's only fair my bag was open to you especially since you were doing me a favour," said Jesse slowly.
"I didn't look at anything unless it was clothing. There was a picture that fell out and I did see it, but I didn't look at anything if it wasn't clothing. I didn't go through any of the pouches or anything," said Zane.
Jesse smiled at Zane. "There is nothing in there I wouldn't want you to see. When you're on the road, you don't have stuff like that. You saw the picture?" asked Jesse.
"Yes Jesse. When I realized what it was, I folded it up again and put it right back," said Zane with a bit of fear in his voice.
Jesse smiled again before went to his backpack and pulled the picture out. He also pulled a few other items of clothing out of the pockets and threw them on the pile to be washed. He opened it up and showed Zane.
"This may sound strange but I would like you to meet Marc, my husband." Jesse then looked up in the air and said, "Marc, I would like you meet Zane. He's a friend I met on my trip, actually the first friend I have made since your death."
Zane was stunned by what Jesse had just said and done.
"I know that sounded like I'm losing it Zane, but I know Marc is with me in spirit and I do talk with him at times." Jesse looked at the picture and then at Zane. He continued, "Does that make me crazy, Zane?"
Zane answered very quickly, "No it doesn't. Jesse, looking at the photo I can feel the love and connection you two had between you and that's something I've never felt before just from a photo. I almost feel like a voyeur when I see you two looking at each other. It's like I am invading a private moment. I do believe he is with you as my ancestors visit me from time to time as well."
Jesse smiled at Zane, his eyes watering. "Marc would have liked you, Zane. The three of us could have talked for hours."
The two of them sat and chatted more as the laundry finished. Zane took Jesse with him down to the Centre and they helped the staff with their duties. They were all happy to meet Jesse and couldn't believe a lawyer was helping them clean the overnight shelter rooms, do the laundry and sort through incoming food donations. Jesse was beginning to enjoy working with Zane.
That night, after their showers, they were both standing and looking out the window and basically looking off into the distance of the night, each lost in their own thoughts. Neither realized they were doing it, but they ended up close, with their arms around the other's waist.
"Zane, could I kiss you?" asked Jesse in a low voice.
"Only if I can kiss you back," said Zane. Nervously, the two of them moved their lips towards each other until they could feel the softness of the other. They kissed, and then held each other.
"That was nice Zane, thank you," said Jesse.
"I should thank you. I got to kiss a hunk."
"No, I did."
"No you didn't, I did," said Zane starting to chuckle.
"No you didn't, I did infinity," said Jesse laughing.
"You bastard," said Zane pushing him away. "I was going to say infinity next."
They looked at each and kissed again.
"Zane, I don't know what I am feeling," said Jesse.
"Neither do I, but shall we just see what happens, Jesse?" asked Zane.
"I think I'd like that, Zane. Let's just see where it goes," replied Jesse. "And by the way, let's see where it goes infinity."
"You bastard," said Zane as he pinched Jesse's tight ass.
Jesse squealed. "Owwwwww!" he said grabbing his ass. He pulled his underwear down enough to see if there was a mark.
"Nice ass, Jesse," said Zane staring at it. "But you screamed like a girl."
"I'll teach you who screams like a girl," said Jesse as he reached for Zane, who dodged his reach. The two of them ran around the couch a couple of times until Zane tripped and fell on the couch. Jesse pounced like a wild cat on top of him, and started to tickle him. Zane begged for mercy, and Jesse relented. They both sat together on the couch for a short time when Zane laid his head on Jesse's shoulder. A short time later, Jesse laid his head against Zane's head. Neither said a word, but they both had closed their eyes and were deep in their own thoughts.
Sometime later, they got up and turned the lights off and went to bed. Although they didn't kiss again that night, they both snuggled close to the other as they feel asleep.
Jesse absolutely loved helping at the Centre. Although he didn't say much, he did a lot of listening to what the others had to say. Zane was watching him as he interacted with both the staff and the clients. The way he worked the crowd made it obvious he was not only good, but had incredible people skills. He had everyone eating out his hands in a very short time.
The next few days went quickly. Jesse had phoned Jack and Molly as he promised and they had made arrangements to come see him on Saturday. Jesse was enjoying being at the Centre and helping the staff. He had even given legal advice to a few people who wanted to know where they stood on their situations. He had been down the office a few times to do some research and get updates on Julie's special project and Roberts work on the lease extension. Julie had located a few potential locations along with some rough projected costs. Robert was dealing with the landlord and making some progress but it was far from settled yet. Marcia always acknowledged him dressed like a tourist, but he could see she was loathing him with every breath.
Jesse and Zane were sitting together on the couch at night to watch some TV, and enjoying their cuddling together at night as well. Neither Jesse nor Zane had tried to take it any further than morning or bedtime kisses, although their personal contact was getting longer as the days went on. They were getting more comfortable together, and beginning to notice both were getting hard-ons when they were on the couch or in bed together.
It was Friday afternoon when a problem started in the food bank. An intoxicated man and a couple of friends had come in looking for food, but it soon became obvious there were just there to cause problems. None of them were dressed or appeared to be in need, just intoxicated.
"I don't want to fill out any fucking form. Just give me some food," the leader said.
The staff member on duty in the food bank was Trevor. He stood 5'8", 130 lbs with longer blonde hair and very fine facial features with delicate hands. If he turned sideways and stuck his tongue out, he' do a good imitation of a zipper. Trevor is 23 years old and one of the most sincere, gentlest people you would ever meet, and he didn't like the situation which was developing quickly.
"Sir, we don't give out food until you have filled out the declaration. It doesn't take very long, sir," said Trev.
"Are you stupid, I told you I'm not filling out the form," he replied as he leaned over the counter. Trevor stepped backwards and was relieved when he heard another voice.
"Trevor, step back a bit," Jesse said quietly.
Jesse moved behind the counter. The man looked at the new arrival and sized him up.
"I want food. This place gives out food to everyone including fags, druggies and welfare bums so I want some."
"No sir, we only give out food to those who need it and qualify for it," replied Jesse as he motioned for Trevor to go into the back room. He did so and headed right to the office for Zane.
"I want some food!" as he slammed his fists on the counter.
"Sir, you're intoxicated and causing a disturbance her so it's time for you to leave the premises," said Jesse calmly.
"Fuck you, gay boy." The man was spitting all over the counter as he spoke.
Zane came from the back room and stood next to Jesse.
"Fred, you know you can't be here. The court order is still in place," said Zane.
The two men came closer to their buddy. One of them spoke, "We better leave."
"Fuck that!" shouted Fred as he reached out to grab Zane. His hand didn't even get half way before Jesse caught it, pulled it forward. Fred was moving forward as Jesse jabbed his head and smacked it on the counter causing everything sitting nearby to bounce. He let the hand go and the man slumped to the ground against the counter.
Jesse vaulted over the counter and stood nose to nose with his friends.
"You were asked to leave, so do it," said Jesse calmly.
The one wanted to leave but the second friend wanted revenge for what had happened to Fred. The one man who wanted to leave spoke "I'm not part of this," and with his hands up in the air, walked out the front door.
"Why don't you join your buddy and make a good decision," suggested Jesse.
His answer was trying to punch Jesse. The man stood about 6'6" and was overweight but fairly strong looking.
Jesse deflected his punch easily. He tried again with the same result. The man was getting mad now and took another swing at Jesse. This time, Jesse caught it, pulled it forward and spun to the right while using his hand on the man's shoulder blade, pushing him down. This caused the man to land on his face, very hard. Jesse still had his arm and had twisted the hand around, causing the man great pain. It hurt even more when he put his foot on the side of the man's neck and pulled the arm up backwards.
That's when the police arrived. They came in and saw Fred on the ground holding his head, and his buddy being held on his face by another man. They took over from Jesse and handcuffed him. They did the same to Fred.
Another officer arrived and took statements from Trevor, Jesse and Zane. Jesse also advised them he was the Centre's new lawyer, which got a smirk from the officer.
After they had left, Trevor hugged Jesse. "That was so cool, Jesse. You studied martial arts?"
"Yeah, I studied it for a while," replied Jesse.
Zane hugged him next. "That asshole was going to punch me like last time he was in, but man you move like lightening, Jesse."
"I do ok," he replied. "I don't like violence, but if you remember the first time I went for a walk, I told you I could look after myself."
"I do recall that, Jesse, but I wasn't sure if I believed you or not. Sorry," said Zane.
"No problem, Zane. People underestimate me all the time," said Jesse.
Zane had a vision of Jesse standing in his tight underwear, and he knew he wasn't underestimating him there.
Trevor had rejoined them, but was standing off to the side.
Zane saw him a bit standoffish and spoke, "You handled that perfectly, Trev. Good Job."
Trevor looked a little upset so Zane opened his arms for the young man. He moved quickly into them and wrapped his own around Zane.
"Does that feel better, Trev?" asked Zane.
"Yeah, I had visions of my dad yelling at me for a moment, and then I remembered how you encouraged me to keep my cool and not panic," the young man replied.
"You did well," reassured Zane.
"Thanks for the help, Jesse. You had perfect timing on your arrival," said Trevor.
Jesse smiled, "Anytime Trev. Zane, it's my turn to cook and make the hamburger helper."
As he released himself from Trevor, Zane cuffed him in the back of the head. "I have yet to serve you hamburger helper, Mister."
Jesse started to speak, "But you....."
"I'm sorry Jesse; I forgot you actually wanted that served tonight," exclaimed Zane.
Trevor was laughing at the two. "I've never seen two guys argue over hamburger helper before. Jesse, I know what Zane thinks about that stuff but what's your favorite flavour?"
Jesse smiled, "Cheezy shells, with a ton of salad on the side to prevent the stuff from bunging you up."
"I love cheezy shells, too!" raved Trevor.
Zane had both hands on his hips and was shaking his head from side to side. "I can't believe you two fine cuisine connoisseurs. I had so much respect for you two. What type of wine do you serve with cheezy shells?"
"Something like a no-name out of a cardboard box," replied Trevor quickly. "You don't want anything to upstage the main part of the meal by having a dominating flavour already established on the palate."
Both Zane and Jesse stood looking at Trevor in total disbelief at what the young man had just said, and then started laughing. Trevor joined in as he couldn't keep a straight face any more.
"Would you like to join us for dinner tonight Trevor?" asked Zane.
Trevor look surprised. "I wouldn't be intruding on you two, would I?"
Both Jesse and Zane were shaking their heads. "We're just really good friends, Trevor," explained Jesse.
Trevor lived around the corner from the centre, alone in a small apartment. He was proud of living on his own and supporting himself, something his dad told him he was too stupid to ever do. He really liked Zane, and had a crush on him from the first time he met him here at the centre.
They closed up the food bank and went upstairs to the apartment. The three of them chatted all through supper and then played scrabble after cleaning up. Trevor surprised both Jesse and Zane by beating them badly at the game three times in a row. Trevor left at around 11:00 pm and promised to send a text message to Zane when he got home. The message came about 10 minutes later as well as a nice thank you for sharing a very pleasant evening with him. Zane and Jesse went to bed and fell asleep immediately.