Greetings everyone,
Here's Chapter Seven,
As always a big thanks to anyone who has emailed me about the story. You know who you are and I appreciate all your support.
The romance official starts I guess, with this installment. : )
This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
***** from Chapter Six:
"I came in and saw you were asleep. So I sat down and dozed off too." Zack said as he joined Justin.
Justin nodded. "Ok, let's go see Jamie."
"Wait, Justin." Zack grabbed his arm. "Do you like Jamie?"
Justin's eyes widened before looked down at his hands. "Ya, sure I think he's a great guy."
"No, you know what I mean. Do you -like- Jamie. Do you love him Justin?"
Jamie's Romance - Chapter Seven
Jamie woke up groggy from the medication. He was still disoriented but remembered everything clearly. Before the meds kicked in he had talked to Dr. Ward and she had left him feeling much better. Plus the knowledge that Justin was there boosted his spirits. He thought back on his talk with the doctor.
===
"What's wrong with me?"
"You want the blunt answer or sugar coated?" Dr. Ward smiled.
"Blunt I guess," Jamie smiled back at her.
"Ok, well with the stress of the working that I told you to ease up on," she said with a maternal frown to him, "combined with your brain suddenly trying to come to terms with everything, you had a break down." Jamie sighed sadly.
"Jamie, a very small one." She reached out and held his hand tenderly. "It seemed when Justin surprised you in your room it drew out some subconscious fears and suppressed emotions you had floating around inside and you, well, literally lost it."
===
The bright sun in the window cheered Jamie a bit as he realized that for once his head was clear of the many of the doubts he had this last week. He felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He smiled as Dr. Ward walked in the room.
Justin just stood and stared at his hands for several long minutes before looking up at Zack. Of all the things he expected to see it wasn't the concern and anticipation on Zack's face and also, Justin thought, hope.
"Wwwell," he stuttered. "Zack, I'm so confused right now, I don't know." He paused. "But I think I do," he added in almost a whisper. He broke down wiping tears from his eyes.
Zack smiled and hugged him. "Thanks for being honest, Justin. I know it's hard, I love him too." Justin stepped away suddenly looking at Zack in fear and sadness.
"No, Justin, please don't get me wrong. I won't deny that I have feelings for him. But I know he doesn't like me that way and I don't even think he knows I'm gay too. I can see that you two have connected in some way the he and I never will and I'm ok with that." Zack looked sadly at Justin wondering just how much Justin cared for Jamie.
Justin sighed with relief. "Not that it matters anyway, Zack. I know the last thing he needs right now is for me to be here with my feelings hanging out all over the place."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Justin. I think he likes you too." There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. "Justin, I take it JC and the others are advising you to walk away from this, huh."
Justin didn't answer. He was still trying to calm his emotions.
"If that's what you need to do Jamie will understand."
"No Zack, I couldn't even think of doing that. Whatever there is between us will or won't happen, but I can't leave now. He needs us both. A very wise man said: if your heart's in the right place it will never lead you wrong." Justin put his arm around Zack's shoulders and they left the chapel heading to Jamie's room.
"Who said that?"
"JC did yesterday."
"You goofball," Zack laughed at Justin. "But ya know, it's real good advice." Justin nodded.
They headed to Jamie's room. At the nurse's station they saw Dr. Ward looking over a chart and went to ask about Jamie's condition.
"Dr. Ward, excuse us, but how is Jamie doing?" Zack asked.
The doctor smiled at them comfortingly. "He's fine. Zack, right?" she asked. Zack nodded to her. "And you must be Justin." Justin nodded as well. "We've had some long talks and he's doing remarkably well, much better than before his breakdown. It was very minor but it's helped him to release and come to terms with some of the pent up emotions he's been repressing. I think we can release him this afternoon if he wants."
Both Zack and Justin sighed with relief. "Will he be ok enough to play for the dance?" Zack asked. "It really means a lot to him."
"I think so, if he takes it easy with as little stress as possible," the doctor nodded. "Zack, he's going to need all the support he can get and I know you've been there for him. He really does appreciate that and it's something he needs right now, an anchor, keep doing that and he'll be fine. Why don't you go and see him now he's been asking for you, I want to speak with Justin for just a minute."
Zack looked at Justin puzzled and Justin just shrugged. He went into Jamie's room with a big smile on his face.
Justin looked nervously at the doctor and saw she was looking at him closely.
"Of course, I thought I recognized that face. You're Justin from 'N Sync aren't you?"
Justin nodded smiling shyly. "Guilty as charged, you a fan?"
"Well, only by association. I have two teenagers at home who are wild about you guys. I guess I can honestly say I like your music too plus you put on a good show."
"You've seen our show?" Justin asked delighted.
"Well, I try to be a good parent, but sometimes I have to chaperone them to things like your concerts." She laughed quietly as Justin grinned at her. "But I'll admit I had just as good a time as they did," she added with a wink.
"Thanks, Dr. Ward. So what did you want to talk to me about."
She led him to a set of chairs and they sat down. "Justin, you know that Jamie's on very fragile ground right now and needs all the stability he can get."
Justin nodded, dreading the words that were bound to come next. "I understand, I won't do anything to upset that." He looked down at his sneakers.
"I'm sure you won't." She paused looking at the young man next to her. "Jamie speaks very highly of you, you know." Justin looked at her, his eyebrows raised. "Actually you were a very large part of our conversation this morning. Justin, I don't need to know your feelings here, but Jamie does. You need to be honest with him, you owe that to both of you."
"I guess we do need to talk but I need to sort out my feelings first."
She nodded to Justin. "You also have to know what he'll be going through. He's done a remarkable turnaround on all this but there'll still be scars for a while. And he'll have some intimacy issues to work out. Those will be the hardest to overcome."
Justin blushed. "I don't think either of us are ready for that anyway. I know I'm not. I just want to take it slow and see what happens, I guess. I know all about rebounds."
Dr. Ward beamed at Justin. "That's just what I wanted to hear and it's exactly what he needs. Justin, I'm counting on Zack to be his anchor. But he also needs to learn how to love and trust again. I'm not going to lie to you. It's gonna be a long hard road. What they say about rebounds is generally true, but only because one person or the other gets involved for the wrong reasons. I don't feel that's the case here. I hope it works out for both of you. Now stop talking to me and get in there and see your friend."
"Thanks a lot doctor, you've made me feel much better about all this." They stood and Justin shook her hand.
"Just doing my job," she smiled at him and went down the hall.
Justin took a deep breath then went in Jaime's room putting on his best smile.
The next several days were devoted to Jamie's recovery. Justin registered at the same hotel and got the three-bedroom suite that 'N Sync would use later in the week. The three of them stayed there together until then. Except for band rehearsals and Jamie's appointments with Dr. Ward, their time was their own. Jamie and Zack showed Justin everything they could about Boston spending many hours sightseeing, eating and shopping. The three were fast becoming solid friends, Jamie and Zack making Justin completely at home and welcome. Occasionally Zack had to go home for family obligations. Jamie and Justin would use these times to watch movies or sit and talk, trying to get to know each other better.
Justin never pushed Jamie for anything. He would stop asking questions when Jamie became uncomfortable or continue if he seemed talkative. He either sat with him or left him alone depending on his mood. At times they sat shoulder to shoulder which made Justin's pulse race and other times Jamie would purposefully yet unconsciously sit with some distance between them. Justin never mentioned it and ignored the distinctions. Over the course of the four days Justin fully realized that he did truly love Jamie. He knew in his heart but firmly buried it deep inside. He wanted so much to hold and kiss him but vowed notto unless Jamie gave him some sign. He still had a lingering doubt if this was what Jamie wanted as well.
Jamie basked in the attention that Justin was giving him. He hadn't felt so important to another person since he was a child. He knew he was falling in love with Justin but fought his feelings. In his heart Jamie knew but didn't want to upset Justin or push him away. He didn't want to misinterpret Justin's attentions plus he still wasn't sure if Justin was straight or not.
On the last night before the other guys of 'N Sync were to arrive Jamie and Justin found themselves alone again. Zack had to be home for his sister's birthday. He invited them to come along but Jamie declined feeling uncomfortable about imposing on his family. Justin decided to stay with Jamie. After a meal from room service, Jamie played on his guitar while Justin sat making some phone calls.
The first call was to his mother in Orlando. He got her voice mail. "Hi, Mom, it Just. Thought I'd call and say hi and all. I'm fine and hope everything's ok with you. I'll see you in about a week when we get back. Love ya. Bye." Justin paused listening to Jamie play. It sounded like Bach or some other classical music.
"Hey, I thought you were into jazz and R&B? Is that Bach?"
"Oh, I am, but I took some classical guitar so I'd have some flexibility. It is Bach, I love playing it, it's very soothing."
Justin nodded. "You play great. I play a little guitar but I can only strum chords."
Jamie smiled as Justin continued to make some more calls to his management and the guys. When he finished he sat to listen to Jamie play when out came a familiar tune. Justin sensed the verse coming up and started softly singing along with Jamie's playing.
"When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand.
And nothing, no nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there.
To brighten up, even your darkest night.
You just call out my name.
And you know wherever I am.
I'll come running, to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call,
And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend."
As the song entered the second verse Jamie marveled at the sound of Justin's voice. Gone was the pseudo pop stylizing that 'N Sync was known for, it was just pure sound. It was glorious and Jamie grew to love Justin even more in that instant. He smiled broadly and looked over at Justin who had his eyes closed completely immersed in the music.
"If the sky above you,
Should turn dark and full of clouds.
And that old north wind begins to blow.
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am.
I'll come running, to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call,
And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend."
Jamie closed his eyes listening to the words and the sound of Justin's voice. Tears formed in his eyes as they went to the bridge.
"Now ain't it good to know
That you've got a friend
When people can be so cold.
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them,
But don't you let them."
On the last repeat of the chorus Jamie glanced over to Justin and saw him looking back. The look of care, concern and, dared he hope, love, was plain to see.
"You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am.
I'll come running, to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call,
And I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend"
Jamie let the last chord fade away as he stared at Justin, tears staining his cheeks. "That was so beautiful Justin, you should sing these types of songs more often. You're voice is made for it."
Justin blushed. "Thanks," he said simply. He saw Jamie's tears. "Are you ok?" he asked moving to sit next to him.
"Oh, ya, I'm fine."
Justin reached over and gently took Jamie's hand in his and smiled. "Ya know, that song was sorta appropriate. I just want you to know that I meant every word."
"Justin, that means the world to me right now." Jamie started crying harder.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"Ya." He hesitated, "No. Justin, please hold me." Jamie put the guitar to the side and leaned toward Justin.
Justin didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Jamie's shoulders. Jamie's arms circled his waist as he soothingly rubbed Jamie's back. "It's alright. Let it out. I'm here."
Jamie cried for quite awhile, his head buried on Justin's shoulder. Eventually he cried himself out and sighed deeply. "Thanks, Justin, I'm sorry, I just don't know what comes over me."
"That's ok, you need to let that stuff out. I don't mind."
Jamie made to pull away but Justin didn't let him and just held him. "Are you sure?" Jamie asked in a small voice.
"Very, now be still and just relax."
They sat like that for a long while before Justin noticed Jamie was sound asleep. Justin saw it was late and carefully picked up Jamie in his arms and carried him to the bedroom. He put him in the bed and pulled the covers up and tucked him in. Jamie fidgeted a bit but soon settled into a deeper untroubled sleep. Justin leaned over and kissed Jamie on the cheek.
"Good night, Jamie. I love you," he whispered softly.
Justin closed the door and went to his own room. He lay in bed tossing and turning, having trouble falling asleep. Eventually he dozed off. Images and faces flashed in front of him, nothing making much sense
"JUSTIN!!" The yell from the other room snapped him wide awake.
Jamie was in a large dark room. There was a dim light in the center where he was standing. He couldn't see the walls or ceiling but he somehow knew it was a room. He started walking away from the light but it kept moving with him. He suddenly thought he heard footsteps somewhere.
"Who's there?"
Silence answered, the footsteps had stopped when he spoke. He looked around and still didn't see anything. A growing dread crept into his stomach.
"Please," he was almost whining, "please leave me alone."
A menacing chuckle came from all around him in the darkness. A wail started growing in his throat and he ran. The chuckle followed him getting louder. His wail grew in until it became a scream.
"Justin!" he called out.
There was no answer except for the chuckle, which seemed to be getting closer. "Justin!!" he yelled again as loud as he could.
"Justin!!" Jamie screamed loudly, waking himself.
tbc.......
Notes: You've Got A Friend, Carole King 1971
The version performed by James Taylor was in my head while writing.
There's the latest. If there's anything anyone would like to see or have an idea about anything please let me know.
Jim bangoremail@aol.com