Greetings everyone,
As I was thinking about how to continue with the story from this point and also trying to work my way through several of the suggestions I got after the last chapter, I came up with this. I've always wondered what writing in the first person would be like, since I made the decision from the beginning to tell the story in the narrated third person. So I thought I'd give it a try. It works well, I think, and it was kinda fun to try a different style of writing.
Usually I put notes about songs at the end, but this time I think it's important enough to mention it here. Here and Now is a song that NSync recorded early on for the soundtrack of a German movie called "Widows". This song is PERFECT for Justin's coming out... I heard it online awhile back on someone's website and fell in love with it. It's in the briefcase: http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bangoremail1
Everyone gets a chance at the melody except for JC for some reason. I can pick him out during some ad libs but no melody. So in order of appearance: Chris/Justin/Joey/Lance For all of you who say: We never get to hear Lance sing... you get it here. Listen for the lyrics: "So many intentions in life I could have followed" - the first time, that's our little Lansten. Like buttah!
Please listen to this song!! It's incredible. I can't stress this enough, you'll be glad you did. :)
Thanks for all your emails. I appreciate everyone taking the time to let me know that you enjoy the story and sharing your ideas.
As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.
Here And Now
"Here and now is the way I live
Unafraid of what life gives
And there have been times in my life
I couldn't see a difference
In pain or in joy or in sun or in rain
They just seem the same
But I'm only human branded by ambition
But I'm going to make it
Here and now is the way I live
With an open heart and mind
(Here and now)
So many intentions in life I could have followed
But one of those paths must lead to your heart
Here and Now is the way I live
Unafraid of what life gives
Respect things I don't understand
(Here and now)
So many intentions in life I could have followed
But one of those paths must lead to your heart
Here and Now
Here and Now"
- unknown (see previous note)
The tape machine started with a click. Voices immediately came from the speakers, already in the middle of a conversation. The only other sound in the room was the scratch of a pencil.
"So it's been a couple of weeks from hell, really, and now we have to go back to LA."
"How you holding up?"
"I'm doing alright. It's not as bad as I make it, I guess."
"Any problems?"
"We're still working at it, but things are smooth."
"That's good. Keep talking and things will be fine."
"Ya. We came through it and learned a little bit about ourselves and each other."
"Whatever happened with the prenup?"
"He signed it and gave it to Johnny so it could get filed and legal."
"No additions, changes or anything?"
"Not a word. The day after we got back from New York he did it. Just like that. After his signed it, he kissed me so hard I thought he was gonna crush my head."
"So what about the pictures, are you still waiting?"
"Yes and the stress is killing everyone. I just got back from New York and Chris is still there. Hopefully he'll find out something more."
"That's jumping ahead a little. Why don't you start from where you left off."
"Ok."
The tape droned on as attention was placed on the transcript of the conversation that was edited into a simple monologue. The pencil continued it's random marking.
I sat there with my hand on Justin's knee, trying to reassure him but I was shaking inside. You could tell nobody was breathing in the room as Justin slipped his finger along the seal. With a deep breath, he reached in and pulled out a single photo.
It was exactly what we thought it was. There we were, on a New York street, lip to lip. Actually, it was a pretty good picture. Everyone thought so. Mel just smiled and pinched our cheeks. There was no doubt at all that it was Justin. I want to frame it even though Justin just snorts every time he looks at it. I think of it as a badge of honor and it means something for us, even though Justin doesn't see it that way... yet. It was a first step in a long line of them.
That was all that was in the envelope. Written on the back were the simple words: 'more to come in time.' I laughed and everyone looked at me. It was so melodramatic, like we were going to be sitting at home scared by this or something. Mel, of course, set a few things in motion to make it appear like we were trying to find out where it came from in case the 'somebody' was looking for that kind of reaction.
Thinking more on it though, it bothers me that the power shifted away from us slightly. It seems that, whoever this is, they know how to play to our fears, although they have no idea that we aren't afraid. We really didn't care much. Now we're just frustrated that we're waiting for their next move instead of being in charge.
That night after dinner, Justin and I stayed in our room at Lance's. Chris was keeping Lance company and trying to convince him to go out drinking and dancing. Justin wasn't really feeling up to being social. Once we closed the door he grabbed me and pulled me down on the bed. We just lay there holding each other and listened to our quiet breathing. It was very comforting and something that Justin needs every so often. I just held him all night long until we fell asleep.
The next day it was as if nothing had happened. It was a nice day. We took a long walk in the morning before it got too hot. At the park, we watched the kids run around and play. I caught him looking at me in that goofy way he has. I knew what he was thinking.
He was dreaming of having a son or daughter and taking them to the park. That need was coming off of him in waves as we sat on the grass. I don't think I blame him, I felt it too. We went back home, Justin practically pulling me by hand the entire way. We no longer cared who saw us. Once home, we made love over and over as if we could make ourselves pregnant. If only it would be so easy.
The day grew hot and we spent a good part of the afternoon in the pool. Poor Lance was in a funk and nothing we tried really made much difference. The next day was supposed to be their wedding. At that point there was no way that was happening, so he was understandably depressed and upset.
I won't get into the subject of JC. It's way too complicated with everything else going on. Justin was so lost without him. I guess neither of us ever realized how important he was to him until now. I know that he really needs and wants Josh around when he comes out. His support and approval means the world to Justin. Lance is so much better now. I was really worried for him.
Joey and Kelly had everyone over for a cookout that night. It was nice. We just forgot about everything for awhile and had some fun. Kelly is really starting to show now and looks radiant. She has a different opinion, but she's never looked better. I can't get over Joey. He's being so good with her, you can see the type of father he'll be. Kelly is one lucky girl.
On Friday we got the ok to go back into the house. It smelled funny until we aired it out. Good thing the heat wave broke and temperatures were a little more bearable so we could open the windows. Being at home was great. It had been two weeks for both of us. The house had become a symbol for me. It represented us in some way in my mind.
I know that sounds silly, but I really feel like that house shows exactly how real everything is. Home has always been important to me. Those first couple of days back, I finally realized that Justin felt the same way. I never really knew how much he cherished 'home.' Since he had spent a good part of the last 5 years on the road, any time spent there was sacred.
To Justin, the house represents the part of his life he doesn't get to live very often. That 'normal' life that's so elusive to all of them. So much is said about the price of fame, a lot of it jokingly, but you don't really know just what's it's like until you live it. Geez, I sound like I'm in the middle of MTV's Diary. 'You have no idea.'
The guys truly love what they do, but there are times when they'd just like to be left alone for a stretch of time. That rarely, if ever, happens. Even when they aren't on tour, like now, and recording, there's still that one photo-shoot or interview, the obligatory award show or public appearance. It seems they hardly ever just get to be themselves. There lies the danger. When you're constantly being the personality, it's so easy to forget who's the real you.
When we're home, I get Justin Timberlake. The real Justin Timberlake. The guy nobody but me, the guys and our families know. The Justin who's insecure and needs to be loved, the Justin that loves with all his heart. The Justin who picks his nose, laughs loudly at bad jokes, leaves his dirty clothes all over the bedroom, burps almost on command, makes me breakfast as a surprise, brings me flowers because he 'just thought of me', kisses me until I can't see straight... you get the idea.
I love him for it, everything about him. And he loves me, I know that. He appreciates how I put up with his moods, how I can overlook all the little annoying things that fans don't get to see because they aren't included in his 'personality.' But mostly, he loves me because I remind him of who he really is inside and what's important to him.
That kinda sounds like he's totally different on and off stage, but that's not really true. The Justin the fans know -is- him, but just a small part. He's so much more than they get. It's that way in the business now. Nobody can be themselves except the big names who can get away with it. Madonna comes quickly to mind. She's her own person, does what she wants, has clout and she doesn't give a fuck what people think of her or her music. I really admire her for that.
Anyway, back to the what's been happening. That Saturday we got another envelope. Another picture was inside, showing us holding each other and smiling into each other's eyes. It was right after the kiss and before the next one. I think I like that picture better than the first. Lance says you can see the love between us, he's right. Again, it was the only thing in the envelope and had 'have fun at the Grammys' on the back.
Johnny got a little concerned and notified the people in LA that security needed to be real tight. That worried me a bit. What if this person was a real wacko? Justin was just as worried and almost didn't want me to go with them. It made me a little mad, but I knew he just wanted to protect me if he could.
Britney decided it for him. She needed a date and I was elected. I was more than happy to attend with her and I'd get to sit next to Justin. The guys were all going stag since the only person who didn't have to find a date was Joey but Kelly didn't feel up to a public appearance and just wanted to stay home.
So we went to LA for rehearsals and the whole circus surrounding an award show. At the pre-show press conference, we walked on pins and needles. The guys were sitting at the long table while the reporters fired question after question to them. Mel and I stood off to the side with Lonnie and a couple of the other bodyguards. When a new person stood I could see Justin tense. I did too until Mel poked me with a smile.
It was very uncomfortable wondering if our would-be blackmailer was in that room or if he had tipped off anyone there. The questions, though, were the same with little variation and answered easily. It still amazes me how superficial the press really is. When finally Mel called an end, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Justin looked over at me and smiled. I thought I would melt.
They had originally wanted to do one of the dance numbers from the album that didn't get alot of play, like Space Cowboy or Digital Get Down. With JC gone for so long, they scaled back to This I Promise You. That made the label happy by promoting something that was out on the shelves for sale. The finished product, I think, was stunning. When we watched it from tape and saw how the lighting played on TV, we were all very pleased. It was an easy appearance for the guys, little or no choreography. Just come on stage and sing.
I think I was the most disappointed one in the group about the lack of awards. Steely Dan!? Come on. I consider myself pretty rounded musically but I didn't even know they were still recording. But critical success is completely different from being popular and marketable. The guys know and accept that.
Chris summed it up pretty good and he was right. He said that 15 years from now they could be putting up albums that had a real small audience, doing obscure remembrance tours to their ever faithful fans and then get their Grammy too. It was a comforting thought that made everyone smile. Of course the important thing was that they got the nomination. Being in the top 5, considering the number of albums that are released each year, is not such a bad thing.
We had a good week in LA, going to parties and sightseeing. Of course the guys had some meetings and appearances. Britney had us over to her house in the hills for dinner. She has a great view and a cute modern design. So we came home award-less but happy that nothing happened while we were there.
Another envelope was waiting for us. It took us a little by surprise, I guess it shouldn't have. Inside were two photos. One was of the second kiss and the other showed us holding hands while walking down the street. On the back of the kiss photo the person had written: 'are you wondering what I'm after?'
That made everyone concerned. This might be more than a new story or some grifter hoping to get some cash for silence. The guys had their run-ins with crazed fans before and even the obsessed ones. They never took any chances and Johnny put us in lockdown and forbid us to go anywhere unnecessary and without bodyguards.
He even assigned me one of my own. A nice enough guy named Paul. He's about Lance's height and Justin's size and shape but his arms and shoulders are a lot more built. You can tell by the way he moves that there was a lot of power there. He didn't look like a security guard either, more like a frat boy having fun at college. I found out he just graduated from Florida State with a degree in business and was a member of the wrestling team. We hit it off immediately, he had a great sense of humor and was easy to get along with. He now shadows me everywhere.
The tape came to an end and the machine clicked off. Papers were stuffed into a folder which was then crammed into a file drawer. Greg left his office and shut off the light.
"Can I ask you an honest question?"
"Sure, Paul. I've got no secrets."
"Why does Justin call you Pinky? I mean... it's none of my business really. Red, I got right away and Sweet Pea is just well... sweet, but Pinky?"
Jamie laughed as Paul drove them through downtown Orlando. "It's ok. It sorta came from Pinky and the Brain but it's more than that."
"More like...?" Paul cleared his throat. "Don't answer that... I don't need to know."
Jamie giggled as a flush spread across him. "It's NOT that, you perv. It's Pinky s in he'd rather cut his right pinky off than live without me."
Paul smiled with a sigh relieved. "Geez, that's so great. You two are so in love."
Jamie smiled. "Ya." He turned to look at Paul. "Can I ask you something?"
"You bet, no secrets here, either. You can ask me anything."
"How do you honestly feel about gay people?"
Paul looked over at his charge for a second before looking back on the road. "I wouldn't have taken this assignment if it bothered me, so don't worry about that." He shrugged carelessly. "I guess I feel that as long as you're in love and happy the rest doesn't matter."
"Can I ask a more personal question?"
"Sure."
"Are you gay?"
Paul laughed. It was a deep, hearty chuckle. "No, I don't think of myself that way. Yes, I've had sex with a guy before and enjoyed it. Would I do it again? Eh... who knows."
Jamie grinned at his bodyguard. "Thanks for being honest." He paused then grinned wickedly. "So you slept with some guys? Got any good locker room stories?"
Paul grinned. "I have some stories that would curl your hair."
"So you wanna go out to lunch?"
"You think that's a good idea considering?"
"I'm not gonna live my life afraid of some goofball. We'll take Lon and Paul, it will be a double date." Justin's eyes sparkled at the thought of a date. Since the envelopes had started arriving they had kept a fairly low profile.
"You're the boss," Jamie smiled.
Justin grabbed his hand and they left the studio. "It's great that you're working in the same building. It makes it easy to see you whenever I want."
Jamie smiled. "You're supposed to be working and not gawking at me through the windows."
Justin laughed. "Ya, you're right but I can't go without seeing you all day."
They left the building using the back door into the private lot, Lonnie and Paul following closely. Once in the car, Paul driving, Justin tapped Lonnie on the shoulder.
"Lon, I wanted to apologize for interrupting your vacation like this. I know you were looking forward to a little down time after the Grammys."
Lonnie smiled back at them. "Think nothing of it. I'm in charge of you two and I wouldn't feel right about cooling my ass in the Barcalounger when there's a chance there's some sicko out there."
Justin smiled and patted his shoulder and before long they had arrived at a small deli not far from the studio. Lonnie had checked it out ahead of time and pronounced it safe. They waited in line and got their food then found a table in an out of the way corner.
"So everything's been quiet?" Jamie asked Justin.
"So far. Nothing today, right Lon?"
"Nope."
They started eating while Jamie and Justin shared secret glances and nudged each other's legs under the table. Lonnie and Paul sat and ignored the whole thing as if the couple weren't there. Jamie knew the two men had every person in the place under their eye.
At first Jamie had resisted having a bodyguard following him around everywhere. He thought it would be constricting and invasive. Surprisingly he found it anything but. He and Paul had hit it off from the first minute and got along well. For a novice, Paul was very adept, like Lonnie and the others, at knowing when to be invisible. There were times that Jamie almost forgot that he was there.
Jamie noticed Paul stiffen and tap Lonnie's forearm and looked up. Coming toward them was a man in a linen business suit making his way directly to their table. Lonnie stood and blocked the man from coming further while Paul moved closer to Jamie and Justin and away from the table.
The man looked around Lonnie and smiled. Reaching into the satchel he was carrying he pulled out a familiar manila envelope. Waving it slightly, he waited.
"Let him come, Lonnie," Justin said. His voice was tight and angry.
Jamie breathed deeply. 'Finally we get to find out what the deal is,' he thought to himself. He reached over under the table and put his hand on Justin's thigh. Justin glanced over at him and gave him a small smile.
The man sat in an empty chair and waited until the bodyguards sat as well. "Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I'm only the messenger. I have no idea who my employer is, he remains anonymous. Other than delivering the envelopes, I have nothing to do with what's going on nor do I care to."
Justin's eyes flashed and Jamie squeezed his thigh slightly. "That's nice, except you can still be held accountable as an accomplice."
The man spread his hands. "Accomplice to what? All I'm doing is delivering envelopes. I don't know what's in them or where they came from or what their purpose is." He paused choosing his words. "Consider me a form of the Post Office."
Jamie snorted. "We'll see about that. So something's changed since this one is being delivered in person."
The man nodded. "I have been told to inform you that this is the last one you'll receive and more information is inside. That's all." He sat back and folded his hands on the table.
"Do you need anything from us right now?" Justin asked.
The man shook his head. "No, I've done the job I was hired to do and my part's done."
Justin chuckled. It was mirthless and almost evil sounding and it gave Jamie a shiver up his back. "Here's just a word of advice for you. Make sure that's the truth because you don't want to get in our business. We protect our own pretty fiercely. We don't take kindly to strangers sticking their noses in."
To punctuate his words, Lonnie stood and towered over the man. His smile slipped slightly and he bobbed his head. "Believe me, you'll never see or hear from me again." He stood and retrieved his satchel. "Good day, gentlemen." He hurried off without a backward glance.
Justin dropped the envelope on the table like it was red hot and covered with filth.
"I'll call the others," Jamie offered. "We'll want to open this in private."
Justin nodded. "Tell them to meet us at the compound in a half hour."
"Before we open this, you didn't find out -anything- in New York, Chris?" Jamie looked over at the eldest NSync member with hope.
"Nothing. Brian said that Carson seemed to be up to something but he had no evidence that it had anything to do with us. He's keeping an close eye on him and wishes us well. He said he talked with Joey and that they're behind you and will help if they can."
"Does he think Carson is involved?" Joey asked.
Chris shrugged. "He may be, but like Brian told me, Carson is devious but not nearly smart enough to do something like this and get away with it. The one thing I found out was that there was more to the story of why he and Tara Reid broke off the engagement."
"Well we knew that anyway," Joey said.
"Oh ya, but what we didn't know was that Tara caught him doing a little kissy-kissy with some tech guy."
"Serves him right," Justin said as he picked up the envelope.
They all sighed then held their breath when Justin peeled back the flap. Jamie noticed his hand shook a little when he took out the photo. It was like the other ones taken that weekend in New York. It showed Justin kissing Jamie in Planet Hollywood, Lonnie and Mel were also in the picture looking on.
"I like that one," Joey chimed in. "You both look so happy."
JC chuckled. "Lonnie doesn't, looks like he ate something that didn't agree with him."
"There's something written on the back," Lance prodded quietly.
Justin turned it over and put the picture down on the table. He read aloud. "You know this is the last one. I will give you one week and then your management will be contacted by phone about my needs. Use the week wisely. Don't fool yourself, if I'm not satisfied the pictures will become public. You have until noon on March 2nd."
Silence followed. Jamie looked around the room and wasn't surprised to see different emotions reflected on everyone's face. Johnny and Mel looked at them with encouragement which was mirrored by Lynn and Joey's parents. Lynn's face held a little concern as well for 'her children' as she liked to call them. Joey and Kelly looked... resolved was the best word for it. Chris had this fierce expression of protection on his face. Jamie smiled at him and it softened, but only just a little. Lance looked concerned but supportive, while JC sat next to him with a worried expression. JC caught Jamie's eye and gave him a big smile then leaned on Lance.
Jamie turned to see Justin watching him. Justin's was the most intense expression in the group. It changed from defiance to worry with everything in between. The one thing that he couldn't disguise was the love for Jamie.
"Are you ok, sweet pea?"
Jamie nodded and kissed Justin's cheek. "I'm fine. Worried, but I'll be ok. I'm already out, remember?" They all laughed, the light comment was just what they needed to break the tension.
The room was a flurry of activity from that point. Lance, JC and Chris went to call their families. Joey and Kelly called to warn Janine, who was with Pink. Lynn called the Timberlakes while Jamie and Justin called Maine. Mel went to her office to call everyone associated with the group with a high enough profile to be a target for the press and Johnny went to talk with the label and advise them about what was happening.
A phone rang and it was answered quickly. The caller was put on hold.
"Mr. Wright, this is the call you've been expecting."
"Thank you, Louise." Johnny took the phone from his assistant and looked across the room. Making eye contact with Justin, he waved to his phone. Justin nodded in understanding and whispered with Jamie who looked up and smiled at Johnny.
"This is Johnny Wright."
"Hello. I won't introduce myself, because you really don't need to know too many details."
"Yes, yes... get on with it." Johnny played the part of the flustered and embattled manager well.
"Have you and your clients thought about my little proposition?"
"Yes we have."
"Good, let's talk about how much my silence may be worth..."
"Your silence is worth absolutely nothing."
"You don't wanna do that, chum. By tomorrow your boy's face will be all over the country."
"I'm sure it will be. I suggest you turn on your television and look for a news station. Goodbye."
"This is a CBS News Special Report. We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming...."
"... ABC News brings you this live press conference held by the popular singing group, NSync..."
"... from CNN here in Orlando, Florida at a live news conference..."
"... Nobody knows the reason for the press conference other than an important announcement will be made. NBC News brings this to you live from Orlando, Florida..."
"The reason for the press conference is unknown, but MTV News has found out that it involves some personal information about one of the members of the group. NSync is on a break right now recording their next album..."
Jamie looked out the door to the members of the press in front of the table. They sat patiently as they waited for the three major television networks to confirm their live feeds. He nervously looked around the side room at the others and shivered when he felt a pair of lips on his neck.
"Relax, sweet pea, everything will be fine."
"I know," Jamie sighed. He slumped back against Justin, who wrapped his arms around him lovingly.
"Ok, boys," Johnny said with a big smile. He stopped in front of Jamie and Justin, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "You sure you're up to this?"
"Yes, Johnny," Justin answered.
"Fine. I'll start my comments and you file in while I'm talking and take your seats like planned."
They all nodded. Jamie looked over and saw JC standing nearby looking a little pale and nervous. Going over to him he whispered something into his ear. JC smiled and kissed Jamie on the forehead with a hug. Jamie went back to Justin's side.
"What did you say to him?" Justin whispered. "Whatever it was it worked." JC as holding Lance's hand with a big smile still on his face.
"I asked him if he would still love me after it became known I was his best friend's gay lover."
Justin laughed loudly and they could see the press looking toward the door, wondering what was happening. Johnny looked at them questioningly and Justin waved him on.
"...This is John Norris from MTV News. Brian McFayden and I are here at the NSync press conference. Speculation has run wild about the reasons for this meeting. We have been assured that the group is not disbanding and that they have no intention of leaving the business at this time. Brian?"
"Thanks, John. The last I talked with NSync, a couple of months ago, there was something brewing in their camp. I didn't find out what it was, but it seems there are some personal issues and that's what we're here for."
John took over once again. "The band's manager, Johnny Wright, has just come to the microphone."
Johnny cleared his throat and looked out over the dozen or so journalists. "Good afternoon everyone and thank you for coming. I want to welcome you to the compound and the offices of WEG. Lunch will be served on the back lawn after we are done. The only thing I have to say as the guys take their seats is that I have never been prouder to work with and be friends with a group of people. NSync are hard workers, love what they do and really appreciate their fans and the support they receive from them and from outlets like the networks and MTV. The management team and Jive, their label, fully support them in everything they do."
While Johnny was speaking NSync and Jamie filed out and sat at the long table. The addition of Jamie to the group didn't go unnoticed and cameras flashed sporadically.
"So, I'll let the boys speak for themselves." He relinquished control of the mic to Mel.
"Greetings everyone, I'm Melinda Bell. From this point on the guys will be in charge here. First the group will issue a statement then Justin has some words he needs to say. After that we'll allow questions. We've worked out an order for questions that you've all received and we'll strictly follow that. Lance?"
Lance nodded and sat up straighter from his seat next to Jamie. Jamie looked down the line at Joey and Chris sitting on the other side of Justin from him then over to JC on the other side of Lance. They all nodded and JC patted Lance on the shoulder.
"We come here today for an important announcement. First, I want to dispel some rumors. We are hard at work on our next album which we expect will be out in June or July. Joey and I will be heading to Toronto in a couple of weeks to shoot a movie and we'll be recording from there and on weekends. NSync is not calling it quits. We are as dedicated to the group and each other as we've ever been and planning a major summer tour as well. I want to echo Johnny in that we do appreciate all the support we get from our fans, other artists and the industry itself. We want to thank WEG and Jive for helping us in our success. Secondly, as a group we've worked hard to get here and grown close in the process. There's nothing that one of us won't do for the other. The group, and all the NSync family, fully supports each member in his own life and pursuits. Thank you."
"Justin," Mel chimed.
Justin took a deep breath and moved the mic on the table a little closer. "I, too, would like to thank everyone for coming. The guys and I really appreciate it. I can see the gears turning in everyone's head. No, I'm not leaving the group and going solo. That has never been an option for me. NSync is my priority. A lot has been said in the last year about me. At first it was rumors of my dating Britney Spears and that was humorous and funny. Yes, Britney and I dated, but that was a -long- time ago. She's a great friend and we're still very close."
Jamie watched as Justin took a drink from his water glass. He noticed his hands were shaking just a little.
"Lately there's been so much said and questioned about my life. The guys and I have maintained all along that our private lives are just that, but sometimes we need to share it just to stop the lies and false accusations that float around." He took a deep breath and steadied himself. "Just recently we've been getting photographs in the mail. The person sending them is attempting to blackmail me to keep these photos from becoming public. I -will- -not- bow down to something like that or stand by and quietly accept it."
Justin paused and nervously looked around the table. The guys smiled at him and nodded. Jamie leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I love you."
Justin smiled and nodded. "I need to say right now and stop the questions and gossip. This is not easy for me to say but I have to. I'm... gay." The murmur from the room grew then silenced when Justin took a breath to speak. "I have known this about myself for a very long time. I know that some of our fans will feel like I lied to them but believe me, it wasn't ever my intention. As I've said, this was my private life and nobody's business but mine. I hope our fans will understand. NSync as a group has always been supportive of differences in our society. Whether it's age, race, gender -or- sexual orientation."
Justin paused again while Mel passed out envelopes to everyone. "Mel is giving you all copies of the pictures. I've always felt that when the time was right then I would tell the truth. With the blackmail, I knew that the time was now. I could never give in to this person, if I did then I would be opening the door for anyone to think it was right to do it to anyone else. The FBI now has the originals and is investigating this. I know you'll have lots of questions and I will stay to answer them all if I can."
Mel smiled at Justin and turned to the room. "Ok, first up is MTV. John...? Brian...?"
Both John and Brian stood. Brian spoke first. "I want to thank you for your honesty and applaud you for having the guts to admit this in public, I admire that. The photos show you with someone, would you care to let the world know who that is?"
Justin smiled and took Jamie's hand. "Well, he's been in the spotlight before when he was accused of being Lance's boyfriend." Everyone laughed, some a little nervously. "This is Jamie Campbell, my boyfriend. He's also my fiance."
The murmuring in the room grew a little as the cameras flashed away.
"How long have you been together and are there any plans for a wedding?" Brian followed-up with the questions he had agreed to ask.
Justin nudged Jamie prompting him to speak. "We met about a year and a half ago and have been together for a little over a year. We want to get married before this summer's tour. So probably late April."
Brian sat and left John standing alone. "I just want to add to what Brian said. I can speak for MTV and say that we support you all the way. Justin and the rest of NSync, are you worried about fan reaction to this news?"
Justin nodded. "We've always been, it's a very personal thing and a tender issue for many people. I don't really want to be a poster boy or anything, this is my private life. I have been hiding all this time and I don't wish to do that anymore. I have someone in my life that I love, who loves me back and I want the whole world to know. I urge anybody who is in the public eye to consider the decision I have come to for themselves. The rate of suicide by gay and lesbian youth is horrifying. I only hope that this step that I'm making will help in some way."
Jamie broke in at that point. "I hope that the fans will understand and see that this doesn't change NSync or their music. NSync loves their fans and has always relied on their support. Now more than ever they will need this support."
"Thank you, John," Mel broke in. "Ok, ABC?"
"Thanks. I'm Dan Harris, ABC News. Jamie, nice to see you."
Jamie smiled. "Hi, Dan. Nice to see you, too." It was no accident that this was the next person to ask questions.
"Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I started my career at the NBC affiliate in Bangor, Jamie's home town. I met him a few times when doing stories about the high school music program." Jamie nodded with a smile. "Do you have any idea who the blackmailer is? And if he is found, what actions are you considering?"
Joey leaned forward to the mic. "The identity of our blackmailer is unknown and like we said, the FBI is investigating. Once he or she is found then we'll decide on what kind of legal action we'll pursue."
"You said 'we' but I understand the threat was to Justin. Care to explain that?"
"When someone threatens one of us," Chris interjected, "he threatens us all. We are a group and stick together."
Dan nodded. "Justin, would you have come out if you weren't forced to?"
Justin hesitated. "I would have eventually, yes. Like I said, this subject has been pretty hot over the least six months and it was just a matter of time. I made a promise to Jamie and now it's time to make that good."
"Ok and one last question. Since this is telling the truth day, what's the real story behind the hair cut?"
Jamie slumped against the tree and spread his legs out on the grass. The last reporters were getting ready to leave, the print media being last because they wanted to get some pictures. A body fell down next to him and he looked over his shoulder.
"Hey, Joe."
"Hey. How are you holding up?"
Jamie shrugged. "Not bad. My brain feels like it's been squeezed like a sponge."
"Press conferences can do that to you."
Jamie looked at his fingers. "Joe, how long before they find out?"
Joey put a hand on the back of Jamie's head and ruffled his hair. "If you're lucky never, but that's not realistic. Maybe a week or two, then the questions will start."
Jamie sighed deeply and leaned on Joey's shoulder. "I don't know if I can talk about it yet."
Joey put his arm around Jamie and hugged him close. "If you're not ready then don't talk about it. It's deeply personal and the media will usually respect that. You can keep silent as long as they don't start making things up."
"That's what I'm worried about."
Joey was suddenly gone and the familiar scent and touch of Justin replaced him. "Miss me?"
Jamie looked into Justin's eyes and smiled as Justin's arm wrapped around his waist and their lips met. The world and it's troubles went away and they ignored the clicks of the cameras getting just a couple of last shots. Many of the photographers had smiles on their faces watching the couple and the love they shared.
tbc...
Note: It's true, Dan Harris was an anchor here in Bangor on the local news. I almost died when I saw him on the national news. I've met him a couple of times.. very nice guy.
There's the latest. Comments and suggestions are always welcome!
Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com AIM: bangoremail http://briefcase.yahoo.com/bangoremail1