Jamies Romance

Greetings everyone,

Here is the next chapter. I haven't heard alot about the last one. So, I hope and assume everyone is enjoying maybe some vacation time. The weather here in Maine has been beautiful, warm but not hot. So I don't blame anyone for going outside and enjoying it.

The one comment that was common in the mail was the desire to not make Carson a sympathetic character. I didn't realize how much you were enjoying the evil Carson. LOL For this chapter, I dip into a slight soap opera touch.

As usual: This story is purely fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of 'N Sync or anyone associated with their organization. It is meant for those over the age of 18 only and those who wish to read stories with sexual content.

They Can't Take That Away From Me

"The way you wear you hat, the way you sip your tea,

The mem'ry of all that no, no!

They can't take that away from me!

The way your smile just beams, the way you sing off key,

The way you haunt my dreams, no, no!

They can't take that away from me!

We may never, never meet again on the bumpy road to love,

Still I'll always, always keep the mem'ry of...

The way you hold your knife, the way we danced till three,

The way you changed my life, no, no!

They can't take that away from me!

No, they can't take that away from me!

• George Gershwin

"Johnny's gonna shit," Chris said succinctly.

Everyone stood stock still for a long minute, nobody knowing exactly what to say or do.

Jamie clapped a hand to his mouth and immediately ran for the bathroom. The sounds of him being sick carrying out to the room brought Justin running after him.

JC looked around at the others with a frightened expression and ran for their bedroom, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Lance stood, paler than his usual. He brought a shaking hand up to his forehead before collapsing in Joey's arms.

"Kelly, hon, could you go wet a towel for Lance," Joey asked kindly while half carrying Lance back to the couch. Kelly went off and Joey looked up at Chris.

Chris looked back worriedly. "I'll go check on Justin and Jamie."

Joey nodded. "Steve, could you go find Mel."

"Sure bro." Steve quickly left the suite.

Joey gently shook Lance. "Lance, buddy. Come on, snap out of it."

"Joe?"

"It's me. Everything's alright." Kelly came back with a damp towel and Joey had her administer to Lance as he went to the closed bedroom door.

"Hey, Lance. Here, put your head in my lap," she offered. Lance squeezed his eyes shut tightly and hugged her around the waist.

Going to the door, Joey knocked once and got no response. He tried the knob and found it locked. "Ok, Josh. I'm giving you less than a minute to open this door."

After a few seconds the locked clicked and JC opened the door. Joey put a finger on his chest and pushed him back into the room. Joey kicked the door shut with his foot and continued to push JC until he fell back, sitting on the bed.

"Ok, what gives with you?"

"Nothing," JC said petulantly.

Joey grew angry. "You know, I've kept quiet but now you're in for it."

JC winced and started biting his thumb.

Joey's expression softened. JC only did that when he was really worried about something. Joey hadn't seen him do it in almost a year, just before the lawsuit was settled.

Chris poked his head in the door to see Justin sitting on the floor cradling Jamie in his arms. Jamie's head was still half hanging over the toilet but he appeared to be fairly stable. They both had tears in their eyes.

"Can anyone join this party?" Chris asked cheerfully before sitting on the counter.

Justin looked up and gave him a half smile. "No invitation required."

"I'm so sorry..."

"Jamie, just stop that thought right there. You haven't done anything wrong."

"But we should've been more careful..."

Chris shrugged. "Maybe, but it doesn't matter. So no more of it."

Jamie nodded. "How's Lance?" he asked weakly.

"Well, he's ok, I guess. Funny how different people react to things. You get sick, Lance faints... I should write a book or something about stress and group dynamics."

Justin threw a towel at him. "You have to get some kind of degree first for anyone to take it seriously, goober."

Chris shrugged. "I think it would get noticed especially if I use our group as a model. All our fans would buy it."

Jamie sat up and leaned back against Justin's chest. Justin wrapped his arms around him. "We're in big trouble here, aren't we?"

Chris leaned back against the wall and sighed thoughtfully. "I doubt it. This one is easy, all we have to do is tell the truth: one friend was helping another with a problem." Chris looked down. "That is the truth, isn't it?" he asked seriously.

Justin's eyes flashed at him and Jamie looked up in horror. "Yes, of course. You don't think... I mean... Lance and I..."

Chris put his hand out. "Hold on there. I didn't mean to imply something weird and kinky going on. I don't care if the four of you have an orgy just as long as I don't have to hear the details. I was just asking to be sure."

Jamie nodded. "Well, nothing is going on there. Lance is my best friend, I was just trying to help." He looked worriedly at Justin. "You believe me, right?"

Justin caressed his cheek with one hand. "Of course I do. I never thought for one minute you and Lance were anything more than just friends. Besides if something was going on, I'd want to know and join in," he grinned making Jamie smile.

"Ok, now that was too much for my poor straight ears to hear," Chris said getting up and moving toward the door. "Get yourselves together, Steve went to get Mel."

They nodded. "Chris?" Jamie asked making him turn in the doorway. "Thanks for checking and for always being there."

"Hey, I take my job as Poppa -very- seriously. Now you children get washed up."

Jamie looked at Justin, fear in his eyes. "This is a mess now. What happens next?"

"We issue a statement. If that doesn't appease the vultures, we hold a media Q&A to deny it. And then life goes on and we go on with the tour."

"Everything's gonna be ok, right?"

Justin looked over at Jamie and slipped his Tshirt over his head. "It will be, sweetie. No more thinking about that tonight. You've worried enough about it. Come one, let's take that bath. The water's ready."

Jamie smiled and pushed off his briefs and walked into the bedroom. Justin watched his naked form with a wide smile. He quickly stripped off the rest of his clothes and joined him. Slipping down into the water, their hands found each other and began soaping. With that done and hair washed they lounged against the side.

"I love this. Just quiet time and the two of us." Jamie sunk into the tub further and leaned against Justin.

Justin rested his chin on Jamie's shoulder and lightly kissed his cheek over and over. "When we're married I'm going to make love to you all day long."

"So I shouldn't count on a sightseeing honeymoon, huh?"

Justin giggled. "Well, maybe a little. But I don't think we'll have to pack alot of clothes." Justin pulled Jamie's lips to his. The kiss was relaxed and tender. Justin reached over and flicked a switch that started the massage jets.

"Mmmmm, that feels good," Jamie sighed.

"I know something that would feel better..."

Jamie smirked at him and ran one hand down Justin's chest and stomach not stopping until it was caressing the inside of Justin's knee under the water. "Like that?"

Justin groaned happily. "That's the idea."

Jamie shifted in the tub so he was facing Justin and ran his hands up and down his legs. Justin exhaled happily, then took one of Jamie's feet and started kneading it with his hands.

"That's nice. My feet -are- a little soar from all the walking Lance and I did today."

"Just relax then." Justin finished with one foot and started on the other while Jamie leaned back against the side of the tub with a happy murmur. Firmly stroking the arch, Justin used his thumbs to ease the tension in Jamie's foot. Once done there, he massaged each toe.

Jamie giggled a little. "That tickles."

Justin smirked at him. "Oh? How about this?" With a gleam in his eye he brought his mouth down and licked around Jamie's big toe.

"Oh... oh..." Jamie gasped.

"Does that tickle?"

Jamie's eyes were wide and he was breathing heavy. "No, it feels great."

Justin grinned at him and took the toe into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. He sucked on it tenderly feeling the shivers traveling through Jamie's body next to him. He continued and moved to the other toes until Jamie was whimpering.

"You ok, sweet pea?"

"I've never felt so turned on," Jamie smiled. He was panting and flushed.

Justin reached over and grabbed his hard, erect dick and stroked it. "Mmmm, I want this." Without moving he grabbed Jamie's shoulders and pulled him on top. Their mouths met in a fiery kiss as Jamie ground his erection into Justin's stomach.

"Like this?" Justin nodded, his eye growing glassy. Jamie grabbed his legs behind the knees and lifted them. Justin gladly spread his thighs and pushed and pulled Jamie's hips until he was pressed against his opening.

"Yes... yes..." Justin moaned.

"No, babe. I gotta get the lube."

Justin fumbled around the side of the tub. "Use... this..."

"It's soap, sweetie. It'll burn a little."

Justin's eyes were glazed and he was clutching at Jamie. "That's ok... burning a little... ok..."

Jamie lathered up and slowly pushed into Justin with a loud groan. Justin tensed under him and grabbed his hips with his hands. "You ok?"

"Mmmmm.... fine," Justin purred and pulled Jamie fully into him.

Jamie let Justin get used to the intrusion and kissed him. Justin kissed back hungrily as his hands circled around him and rested on the small of Jamie's back and ass, holding him in place. They broke the kiss and Justin looked up a Jamie, the want plain on his face.

"What do you want, JuJu?" Jamie asked breathlessly. He could feel the tremors in Justin's body and it made him grow harder.

"Make love to me, please." Jamie pulled out an inch and slid back in. Justin groaned. "Please..."

That thrust was followed by more and soon Jamie was gently rocking Justin in the tub as he slid in and out.

"More..." Justin pleaded. Jamie increased the force of his thrusts making Justin grunt every time he penetrated all the way into Justin's ass. "Yessssss..." Justin hissed.

Although Jamie wanted this to last forever he knew he couldn't hold on for long. He looked down at Justin, the wet curls plastered to his forehead. Justin's eyes were wide open and staring at Jamie with a sex glazed expression.

"I'm gonna cum soon, baby," Jamie gasped. Justin nodded and one hand grabbed Jamie's wrist and guided it to his own throbbing member.

"Please..." Justin begged breathlessly.

Jamie could feel his orgasm gathering as he stroked Justin in time with his thrusts. With a loud grunt he started shooting, filling Justin with his hot juice. Justin growled at the feeling of Jamie pulsing inside him.

Justin cried out as he came in long strings across is stomach and chest. Jamie marveled as every muscle in his arms, chest and stomach tensed and stood out in stark relief. Jamie collapsed on top of Justin as he slipped out. He could feel the last few pulses of Justin's dick between them as their lips met.

They kissed while they recovered and their breathing returned to normal.

"I want more," Justin panted between kisses.

Jamie smiled at him. "Not tonight. You have a show tomorrow."

Justin frowned then pouted. Jamie had to look away or cave in. "Not going to work," he giggled.

Justin smiled and turned Jamie's head back to kiss him again. Jamie almost changed his mind when their tongues met. "A guy can try."

"I like it when you try."

"Less than a month and then I can be with you whenever I want as many times a day as I want. We'll be free for at least 5 months while we record the next album."

"I'm looking forward to every minute."

The next morning they all sat around the television in a small conference room down the hall from the main room where the media had gathered. Nobody moved or talked, as they waited to see how it would all play out. It had been a rough night for all of them waiting to see if this would go unnoticed or if they could just get away with a statement to the news stations.

The feeding frenzy started in earnest and the phones set aside for the media contacts started ringing off the hook. After a quick conference with Johnny, it was decided that a statement from WEG and the group would be needed to put a stop to the rampant speculation. They drafted the group statement over a tense breakfast.

Joey looked around. Jamie sat in Justin's lap, seemingly fearful to let him go. Lance leaned against JC, who played with Lance's spikes on the top of his head. They held hands tightly. The others were gathered around either sitting in chairs or laying on the floor.

"Here it is," Chris said softly and turned up the volume.

"This is Tanya Morse. We're here live at the Hilton to hear a statement from NSync's management about the footage shown last night on our 6:00 news. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, let's replay it."

The same footage was shown again.

"NSync member, Lance Bass, and a member of their band, Jamie Campbell, were seen sharing a private moment outside the Toronto Skydome before their first concert on Tuesday. Here is a representative from Wright Entertainment Group, the band's management, with a statement."

The camera zoomed in on Mel. She stepped up to the podium and smiled at the milling reporters. "Good afternoon everyone. I'm Melinda Bell, publicity manager for NSync. I have two statements that I will read then field a few questions if necessary."

Opening her folder, she took a minute to look over the audience. She could see Lonnie and Eric on each side of her. "First a general statement from management. WEG and NSync do not deny the validity of the video shown on the news program. WEG and Johnny Wright, the group's manager, urge the media to not over dramatize what is seen. What we witnessed was one friend comforting another. Any additional questions after this press conference can be taken directly to WEG at their Orlando offices. Thank you."

The reporters started immediately shouting out questions. Melinda let them go for a minute then held up her hand. "I'm sorry, but I have one more statement to read before questions. This one is from the group itself."

Taking a deep breath she started. "We know full well that with our status as public figures we lose a large amount of our privacy. We, as a group, have come to accept and respect that. However, there are times when we need to just be human beings and not NSync. We need to love, laugh and even hurt."

"What was seen on that footage was just one of those times. Touring is gratifying, affirming and a wonderful experience that none of us would trade for any amount of money. Meeting our fans and performing for them is the best job in the world. On top of that it's also tiring and stressful. There are times when the stress can become very difficult to deal with."

"What you see when you look at the tape is one friend helping another to deal with that stress. Jamie has been a great friend to all of us as well as an invaluable member of our band. Like we said, we are all human. There are and will be times when our weaknesses will show. NSync asks that you to respect and honor that. We know our fans do."

Mel closed the folder. There was a moment of silence. "Now if there are any questions?"

Jamie's mind clouded over with the barrage that came at Mel from various sources. Mel handled it like the pro that she was, unfazed and calm throughout. After a few minutes it was fairly obvious that the group's statement wasn't appeasing the reporters.

Jamie got up and poured a glass of water for himself during the next comment.

"I can understand the group's position," one reporter said. "And I can accept that the video is what they say it is. But our questions aren't being answered here."

Justin groaned on the couch. "Will they just leave it alone?"

Lance sat near him shaking his head. "I guess I'll need to answer it directly. Jamie, you don't need to get involved with this."

There was silence in the room and they looked around. Jamie wasn't there. "Where'd he go?" JC asked.

Justin hopped up and checked the bathroom then looked out into the hallway. "He disappeared," he said nervously.

"No he didn't," Joey said with a tremor in his voice and pointed to the television. They all looked as Jamie joined Mel at the podium. She didn't look particularly happy that he was there. His voice carried out over the group of journalists as he spoke.

"I've been watching this from down the hall and thought that a direct word from me might be in order. You've got the statement from NSync and that should be enough, but I'd like to say this. Lance and I are good friends. We are -not- dating. End of story."

"Mr. Campbell, so you are telling us there is no relationship between you and Lance other than friendship?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. There never was or ever will be any romantic link between us. Lance is one of my best friends."

"Isn't it true that you are gay?" came from another reporter.

Jamie blinked at him "I don't see how that's any of your business or makes any difference here."

Mel stepped up at that point. "I think that should be enough for now. Thank you for coming."

Jamie put his hand on her arm and she backed away slightly. "No, I need to answer that question," he said confidently into the microphones. "If I don't the media will assume I'm hiding something on purpose. I'm not ashamed of who I am. Yes, I am gay. It's really nobody's business but mine. That being said, we're done here. Thanks for coming." He and Mel left the room to flashing bulbs.

Mel held her tongue until they were back in the room with the guys. "Jamie, if you ever do something like that again I'm gonna hide you good," she threatened.

Justin ran to him and hugged him tightly. "My heart nearly stopped when I saw you on the TV, sweet pea. What possessed you to do something like that?"

Jamie looked at them all. "It was the only way. They needed someone else to say it. Lance started saying that he was going out and I knew he couldn't." He shrugged. "It only made sense."

"It was perfect," Chris said smiling. Jamie smiled back in return.

"Jamie, you didn't need to do that." Lance crossed the room and put a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "You took all the heat for me?"

"Of course I did. Lance, they were gonna ask the gay question no matter who was there and they needed an answer. You're not ready yet. Besides, the group already issued a statement so you going out there is like admitting to something."

Mel's expression softened. "You know, you're right." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Now we have you and Justin loosely tied together and you're openly gay." The gears were visibly turning in her head.

"So people will start assuming..." Joey began.

"That Justin is too!" Chris interrupted.

"Or at least seriously consider the possibility," Mel finished with a smile.

Over the next four days life settled down to a more normal pace and routine. Rehearsals started in earnest for the Blockbuster Awards whenever they had a free hour. Justin and Jamie lay low for that time, wisely choosing no extra outings together while they waited for the media to forget and move on to other things. The group really had no free time to spend going out anyway.

Jamie was left with more free time alone and he wandered the venues, practiced and watched the guys until he thought he would scream from boredom. Justin would spend every free minute he could with him and it made Jamie wish for the end of the tour more than ever. The morning that they arrived in St. Louis he decided to do a little sightseeing on his own.

He'd never been to the city before and stood for a long time at the park overlooking the Mississippi River near the Gateway Arch. Wishing that Justin was there beside him he headed back to the hotel noticing that it was past lunch time.

Walking quickly he made his way to the doors. Some fans had gathered and began calling out to him. He smiled, waved and stopped for a couple of autographs. The few fans that actually talked to him were very supportive, most mentioning an older brother or cousin or friend who was gay too. Having enough, he flashed his ID to security and entered the hotel. Crossing the lobby, he went to the desk to see if the guys had left him a message about lunch.

While the desk clerk checked, he looked around and caught sight of JC leaving the lounge and heading straight for the elevator. Jamie watched him as he disappeared, frowning.

"Sir?" The clerk had returned with a piece of paper. Jamie smiled and turned back to her. "There was only this."

"Thanks." Jamie took the message and saw that he was only 10 minutes late for lunch in the upstairs conference room. Before heading up, he entered the lounge. Looking around he noticed a few people here, some eating, others having a drink. Curious, he went over to the bartender.

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a friend who might've been in here. He's a few inches taller than me, real skinny, brown hair, blue eyes."

The bartender, whose name was Bill, smiled. "Yup, you just missed him if it's the same guy." He paused thinking for a second. "Um... said his name was Josh."

"Ya that's him. How long was he here?"

"Oh, about a half hour or so. Quiet kid but loved the Jack Daniels."

"What do you mean?"

"Had three of them on the rocks. The boy sure knows his stuff. Anything else?" Bill was drying glasses while he spoke.

"No, thanks for your help. I guess I'll go find him."

Bill nodded and Jamie left with troubled thoughts. 'Josh drinking in the middle of the day?' Jamie shook his head trying to figure out what to do with this information. 'It's really Josh's business and not any of mine.' By the time he reached their floor he'd decided to keep it to himself for now but keep a close eye on JC.

Walking into the conference room he noticed everybody there except for JC. "So where's Josh?" he asked casually.

"He just stuck his head in and told us he'd be here in a second," Joey answered around his chips.

Justin pulled him down onto his lap. He had two meals in front of him. "Hey, have a good walk?"

Jamie nodded. "I got to see the Mississippi and just looked around, it was nice. Wish you were with me though."

Justin smiled sadly. "Sometimes I hate work."

"No you don't, you love every minute of it."

JC walked in and went to the food table and got a plate together. Sitting near Lance, he looked around and smiled at Jamie. "Have a good time sightseeing?"

Jamie nodded, chewing on a french fry. He watched JC look shyly at Lance who smiled back. Jamie looked around to see if any of the others noticed anything strange. Joey was feeding Kelly some carrot sticks while Chris ate his burger looking over design sketches for his company.

"What you thinking about, sweet pea?" Justin whispered into his ear.

Jamie turned and smiled at him. "Not much. Just taking it all in." He leaned back against Justin and kissed his neck. Moving, he slid next to Justin so they could both eat. Thoughts ran through his head as he chewed.

The next day while they were waiting for the call to makeup, Joey caught up with Jamie in the main dressing room.

"Hey, squirt. How you holding up?"

"Not bad. I'm keeping a low profile so it's pretty calm."

Joey nodded with a smile. "We really haven't had a free minute to talk and I think we need to."

"If you think so, Joe. As far as I'm concerned we're cool."

"I know." Joey slumped on the couch and put his arm around Jamie's shoulder. "I just wanted to come clean about what's been going on."

"Listen, you're an adult. You're older than me, for chrissakes. You make your own decisions. I'm actually thrilled you're having a baby."

"I just didn't want you to misunderstand about Kelly and Zack."

Jamie looked Joey in the eye. "Does Kelly know?"

Joey nodded. "Ya, I told her in August before we decided to try again. She was a little upset that I'd go from sleeping with her to Zack in the same week. But I was just kinda messed up at the time. She understood that."

"Joe, really, I understand. I'm not going to judge you. I can't, I love you too much. I just don't want to see anyone getting hurt."

Joey pulled Jamie into a hug. "You're such a great guy. I can see why Justin fell in love with you. Zack and I were just experimenting. Well, I was experimenting and he was having some fun. But that's all it was. No expectations."

Jamie nodded. "I'm glad to hear it. I didn't think either of you would go overboard about it."

"Ok, let's talk about you."

"Me? I'm fine."

Joey looked Jamie deeply in the eyes. "You may be, but you've been chewing on something. You sure you're ok with what happened with the press?"

Jamie smiled. "I'm perfectly fine with that."

"Ok, so what gives?"

Jamie shook his head. "It's not something I really want to talk about right now."

"I can accept that, but I see things. Justin is worried on top of his usual schizo self. He's had this hurt look today like he knows you're keeping something from him. And other things are wrong, too."

"Like what?" Joey always surprised Jamie with just how perceptive he could be.

"Well, Chris has been kinda grumpy lately. I don't know what's up but I think it has something to do with Dani. I don't even know where to start with Josh and Lance. Sometimes I almost believe they're not together by the way they act. I even heard them argue the other day and they never do that. Lance is kinda normal, but Josh isn't at all. I keep trying to talk to him but he always changes the subject. Plus his mood swings are off the chart."

Jamie nodded sadly having noticed the same thing.

"You've been sorta wrapped up in yourself and Justin is ready to explode because of it." Joey wound down and shrugged.

Jamie smiled at Joey. "You're right on all counts. Seems everyone is so caught up in their own shit that nobody is seeing it. I thought I was imagining things."

"Well now you know you're not going crazy. So what do you think?"

"Something's up with Josh and that's what's bothering me. Poor Lance doesn't know what's wrong or what to do. And Chris... well, I guess we just need to be there for him. I think I'll call Dani tomorrow and see if I can find out anything."

"Anything about Josh I should know?"

Jamie debated internally whether to share his thoughts with Joey. If he did, he knew Joey would call a group meeting and confront JC directly. That, Jamie knew, might be the worst thing. He decided that he needed to keep his suspicions to himself for now.

"I don't know, Joe. I'm just really worried."

Joey looked at him, gauging Jamie's truthfulness. With a sharp nod, he sighed. "Ok, I'll try to keep an eye on him and see if I can't figure it out. Kelly's going home for Thanksgiving to her family and staying with them until the tour is over so I'll be more free." He ran a hand across his forehead. "If you need to unload and don't feel you can tell Curly, you come to me." Joey's tone was a definite order and not a request.

Jamie smiled at Joey. "You got it."

"Knock, knock!" Jamie called out cheerfully. Peering into the office he saw Dani hunched over her computer. They had gotten into Los Angeles that morning and Jamie went to keep his lunch date with Dani while the guys were busy with yet another radio appearance and record signing.

Dani looked up and smiled broadly. "Hey you!"

"I came bearing lunch if you can take a break."

"For you, anything." Dani got up and gave Jamie a huge hug. "I haven't seen you in forever. Chris told me all about what happened before the tour started. How are you doing?"

"I'm healing nicely. I just had to rip off that last scar and bleed a little more before I could get better."

Dani's delicate hand touched Jamie's cheek. "I can see it in your eyes. I'm so happy for you." She grabbed his hand and led him out of the office and down the hall. "So what did you bring to eat?"

Jamie waved the large bag in his hand. "I thought Chinese would be easiest. I think I brought enough for 5 though."

"Oh, good! There's nothing like Chinese leftovers."

Soon they were eating in a comfortable lunchroom. "This is quite the setup you got here."

"Thanks. Picked out the location myself and decorated it too."

"Chris must be so proud of you."

Dani's smile faltered and she looked down. "Ya, I guess."

"Dani, what's going on?"

"Not much, apparently," she sighed then looked up with a forced smile. "But that's not for you to worry about." Jamie exhaled loudly. "Jamie, what's the matter?"

"Things are strange, Dani. It almost feels like everything's falling apart." Jamie waved his hand trying to form his thoughts. "You and Chris are just a small part of it. First it was Joey and Kelly... you did hear about that, right?"

Dani nodded with a genuine smile this time. "She called and told me just after she told all you. I think it's great."

"It is, but that seems to be the only good thing. Lance and Josh are having a hard time. I have my suspicions and Justin is getting mad that I'm not talking to him about it. It's just a mess. You have more experience with them and touring. It wasn't like this, this summer."

Dani sighed again and looked at the tabletop. "I think you deserve to hear it now and not later. Chris and I are talking about breaking up."

Jamie got a sad look and touched Dani's arm. "I'm so sorry. Can I do anything to help?"

Dani shook her head. "I doubt it." Jamie took her hands in his. "I still love him so much but we never see each other with the group and now with me here doing all this. Neither of us has time for the other." She shrugged and wiped her eyes.

"That explains why Chris has been so moody the last week." Jamie looked at her sympathetically. "How you holding up?"

Dani gave a brave smile. "I'm ok, just sad. I'm not deluding myself anymore that things are perfect between us. I think we both came to that conclusion over the last two months. Add to that the business relationship and I'm not surprised we got here."

"Any chance you can work it out?"

"We'll see. We both decided it was better for now to just have a friendship and be co-workers. Who knows what will happen in the future."

Jamie put a hand on her shoulder and hugged her tightly. "This doesn't change anything between us. I still want you involved in the wedding."

Dani smiled at him and dried her tears. "I'd like that."

"Hey it's me."

"What do you want? I told you to stop calling me."

"I want some inside info and just need you to keep your eyes open on the 5th."

"Why should I do that? You're sick, leave me alone."

"I'd owe you a favor." There was a brief silence. "I can make it worth your while," purred the caller seductively.

"How so?"

"I know why you broke up with Mandy -and- with Willa. Male escorts? That's so juvenile and dangerous to your image. I think I can give you what you really want."

"And just what would that be?" was the shaky reply.

"A blow job that would make your eyes pop out of your head. If you do a really good job you can even take me for a drive."

Silence was followed by a loud swallow. "All I have to do is keep my eyes open and report back to you?"

"You got it, handsome."

"What if I refuse?"

"Then I find someone else, they get the reward and..." There was a pause. "Let's just say, what just happened in Toronto might be repeated and it will definitely be much more ugly."

"Why me, Carson?"

"Because I know you can do it, Nick."

Jamie sat at the hotel, frowning into his soda. He could still hear the water running from Justin's shower. Justin had asked him to join him, but Jamie refused with a strained smile. The look of confusion and hurt on Justin's face nearly killed him.

He knew he had to tell Justin. He kept it to himself that he saw JC coming out of the lounge in St. Louis and it was eating him up inside. The last few days, with careful observation, had seen JC do it almost routinely after the Thanksgiving break.

Without his even realizing it, Justin was cupping his cheek. "Sweet pea. Please talk to me. Don't shut me out like this. It hurts."

Jamie looked up into his eyes and the dam broke. Alarmed, Justin pulled Jamie into his arms and cuddled with him on the couch.

"Justin, I'm so worried. Have you noticed Lance and Josh lately?"

Justin nodded sadly and exhaled. "I have. I hope everyday that it will get better but it doesn't. Yesterday morning I was joking around with Josh and he nearly took my head off."

"Justin, I think Josh is having a problem with alcohol."

"What?!" Justin tensed beside him.

"Please, hear me out."

"I can't believe you'd think that."

"But Justin, I -saw- him in the lounges. Once I even caught him sneaking a drink after a show was over."

"Why would you say something like this?" Justin stood, crossed the room and looked out the window.

"We know that he was having problems with the outing thing and somehow it's affected his self esteem too. We knew that. I think he's drinking more to blunt everything."

"I just can't believe it."

"Can't or won't?" The accusing tone in Jamie's voice surprised even himself.

Justin turned to Jamie angrily, his voice rising. "That isn't fair. I think I'd notice if something like that was going on."

Jamie looked at Justin's fist between them. Justin had used it for emphasis but it gave Jamie a chill. Justin saw the change in Jamie's expression and looked down at his hand. Slowly he unclenched his fingers and put them on Jamie's cheek. "I would never hit you," he said gently.

Jamie nodded then let out a strangled sob. Justin pulled Jamie into his arms and squeezed him tightly. "Please, let's not fight about this. It's so hard to believe."

Jamie leaned his head against Justin's and let the tears fall. "I didn't want to believe it either. You want to know what's bothering me and why I seem all closed up inside? This is why. I'm scared, Justin."

"Now you don't have to be scared alone. I'll call Greg and have him pull Josh in for some appointments." With a finger he tipped Jamie's head to look him in the eye. "From this moment on we don't let any of the other's problems come between us. We can't do that."

"Band to their places please. NSync please report for mics and monitors." The stage manager's voice crackled over his head set and Jamie sighed. He was tired in mind and body. This last week, with a show every night for five nights straight, was taking it's toll on everyone.

They had finally reached the last show in Los Angeles, with only two more shows in San Diego to finish the tour. Jamie settled into his seat and waited for the guys to get into the catwalk above the stage. His thoughts turned to the dynamics that were changing within the group.

Jamie was now more than concerned. Lance seemed on the edge and even Chris had noticed that he and JC weren't as close as usual and seemed to be at odds with each other more. The shows themselves had been some of their best. JC seemed to put all his energy into performing. Other than that he was more solitary than usual and slept as much as he could.

Jamie's worry stemmed from the fear that it might be more than alcohol. That was one thought he couldn't bring himself to contemplate seriously, it scared him so much. A nudge from next to him snapped him out of his thoughts.

Billy smiled at him and pointed to the catwalk. Jamie looked up and saw Justin peering down at him. With a smile he touched his forefinger to his eye then his heart. Puckering his lips, he sent a kiss to Jamie and pointed to him. The message was simple and clear: 'I love you.'

Jamie smiled brightly, repeating the gestures then holding up two fingers: 'I love you too.' Justin beamed then grimaced when they tightened his harness on his thighs. Jamie watched as they raised the guys an inch off the walkway to test and sighed. Even with all the crap that was going on around them, he knew they would be ok.

tbc...

There's the latest. Comments and suggestions are always welcome!

Jim bangoremail1@yahoo.com