The Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show: Episode 7 The Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show - Episode 7
"The First Fuckin' Show with Kristen"
Written by: TVM (mrtvm@mrtvm.com)
Archive: http://www.asstr.org/~TheVertManArchive/Stories/Celeb/Jamie/IndexJL.html
** Disclaimer: This story is purely fantasy and is based on the fictional life of real celebrities. The events portrayed in this series (although I wish) are not an accurate depiction of the star and or stars real lives. Any reposting or archiving without written permission is an infringement on the copyright of this series. So in other words You damn well better ask before you steal it.**
Starring: Jamie Lynn Spears (18)
Guest Stars: Kristen Alderson (18)
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Summer had just crashed down in front of me on the couch as the DVR kicked on and I wrapped her in my arms and we watched the ending credits for 'Three of a Kind' roll up and off the screen before it briefly went black. A split second passing before we heard a familiar voice, that of Doc Evans, as he said in his BEST announcer voice, "Many people wished it would go away, including me cause the Tanned Princess is annoying, but damn it I needed a job. Soooo I'm back and so is Jamie Lynn. Next on Taboo TV."
"I missed his dumbass" Summer giggled from in front of me as I grinned and nodded my head in agreement.
The screen slowly going from black to light and rattling as the "FUCK YOU" logo came screaming up from the background and slammed into the TV with a thud. Than pretending to be crushed as it slid down and fell to the floor with a audible THUMP! Love the graphics. That creative opening brought us to the studio with the camera now sweeping down the hall to the door with Jamie Lynn's name emblazoned on it. Doc saying, "I ain't waiting all night Tanned Princess."
"What the fuck?" Jamie Lynn asked as she appeared on screen for the first time. The girl is still breath taking to say the least. Dark rich incredible looking tan (as usual), Daisy Dukes that looked to be painted on (pockets sticking out the bottoms they were so short), a pair of white shoes and socks and of course a belly shirt that shows off her flat stomach and well...more tan. "Oh hey!"
"Yeah, you forget we were doing this?" Doc asked.
"Fuck you, Dork Evans" Jamie Lynn said as she showed the camera a middle finger. "You said you'd call me when it was time to tape."
"But this is much funnier" Doc cracked as Jamie Lynn glared at the camera. "Huh JL?"
"UGH, anyway, welcome to the second season of the Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show here on Taboo TV" Jamie Lynn said as she folded her arms across her chest. "This is gonna be different than the first season cause I don't have a co-host."
"Do we still hate Alexa Nikolas?" Doc asked. "I've forgotten."
"No, Doc, I don't hate Alexa" Jamie Lynn said calmly. "But I do need a new co-host, does your retarded ass have any suggestions?"
"You're slutty sister Britney?" Doc asked. Jamie Lynn groaned and again flipped off the camera. "No?"
"NOOOOOO!" Jamie Lynn screamed into the camera. "Serious suggestions fuck face."
"Hayden? No, Alexa, yes but...well been there done that" Doc commented as Jamie Lynn tapped her foot impatiently. "Dakota Fanning?"
"I wish" Jamie Lynn said. "Girl earned her nickname, she sure is the horny little butt fuck doll."
"So why not your co-host?"
"She's doing the new Twilight movie, New Moon" Jamie Lynn said. "Gonna be a guest star she said."
"Jamie and Dakota? Daddy like" Doc said as Jamie Lynn flashed a smile.
"Momma like too" Jamie Lynn said. "But co-hosts?"
"Does it have to be an actor?"
"I don't suppose..."
"How about that hottie Meghan McCain?" Doc asked as he cut Jamie Lynn off. "The only member left in the Republican party with a brain."
"She's hot and obviously likes some pussy but she's probably not interested" Jamie Lynn said. "Alexa was the political one anyway."
"OHHHHH sure JL, like your ass isn't flaming with liberal hairs?"
"There is not a hair anywhere on my body below the eye brows, fucktard" Jamie Lynn said. "And personally I hate the stick-up-the-ass liberals as much as the bible thumping conservatives, both are scum."
"And our new President?" Doc asked.
"He's better than old George Duhbya and his Texas Mafia of morons. Course with the bar set that low you could out do him, Doc."
"President Doc Evans" Doc said in a booming voice. Jamie Lynn grinned and laughed.
"Be the first headless dick ever in the White House" Jamie Lynn said with a gotcha smile before she turned and wiggled her cute little ass and slammed the door to the dressing room.
"Hey!" Doc said in protest. "I resemble that remark."
The "FUCK YOU" logo crashing back into the screen as we went to break. So here is it another summer and another season of TV's most surprising show, 'The Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show', only on Taboo TV and I (your ever horny blogger Linsey) am back to capture ever messy detail for you. Four minutes later, we once again saw the "FUCK YOU" logo crash into the screen and then fall away and bringing us to a grainy shot of the parking lot just outside of the studios in downtown L.A. The camera panning down as a loud thumping could be heard and to my shock, and excitement, we saw Kristen Alderson was banging on the studio door with her fist.
"HELLO? IS ANYONE HERE?" Kristen practically screamed.
"Ladies and gentlemen meet Jamie Lynn's new co-host, Starr from ABC's One Life to Live, Kristen Alderson" Doc announced in a hushed voice. "Well if Jamie Lynn don't go nutso again and try and kill the poor girl."
"Who the fuck is beating on the door..." Jamie Lynn asked as she opened the studio door and her and Kristen came eye to eye. "Kristen?"
"Oh fuck" Kristen said with a nervous lip biting look. "What is this some kinda sick joke?"
"What are doing here?" Jamie Lynn asked as Kristen backed up and fumbled with the door to the car she had just arrived in. Giving Jamie Lynn a borderline terrified look. "You still scared of me?"
"No, yes, I'm just gonna go" Kristen said before promptly dropping her keys and watching in horror as they rolled under the car and out of her reach. Backing up again as Jamie Lynn came close to her. "Look, someone called me and told me to meet them down here for a job. Guys name was Evans and he said they wanted me to host some kind of show. An interview show."
"Evans?" Jamie Lynn asked as she figured out what had happened.
"Surprise JL!" Doc giggled as all action froze for a split second. "She can kill me later."
"That's what he told me on the phone..."
"You talked to my idiot announcer" Jamie Lynn said. "And he's about to be out of a job himself for putting you through this."
"So there's no job?" Kristen asked.
"Only if you wanna be my new co-host?" Jamie Lynn asked. "And just so you know, I'm not gonna hit you again. I feel terrible enough about doing it the first time."
"Hayden kinda told me you were sorry" Kristen said as she stepped a bit closer.
"I am, come closer?" Jamie Lynn asked as Kristen moved beside her and both now leaned against the car behind them. "I am truly sorry for hitting you."
"I forgive you" Kristen said with a smile. "You won't do it again?"
"Not unless you try and beat me up" Jamie Lynn said. Kristen rolling her eyes and giggling at the goofiness of that suggestion.
"Not likely" Kristen said. "Well, I guess I better get my keys and go..."
"You said you needed a job" Jamie Lynn commented as Kristen froze. "Do you?"
"Need? Not really, but if it's something fun like Cumming Out I could get with it" Kristen said. "Your show is really good by the way. I've got the DVD."
"Thank you, and your show is good too" Jamie Lynn said. "Hayden made me watch you every day until I liked you as much as she did."
"Yeah right" Kristen said with a roll of the eyes. "I should be so lucky."
"Really good show though" Jamie Lynn said. "And as much as it still hurts me...you were good on Cumming Out. Probably a lot less troublesome than me."
"I don't know..."
"You were trust me" Jamie Lynn said. "I was so anal no one wanted me around."
"HMMMM anal you say?" Kristen asked with a horny smile as Jamie Lynn slid closer and both giggled. "Stop that!"
"Stop what?" Jamie Lynn asked as she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her barely there Daisy Dukes.
"Whatever you were gonna do..." Kristen said and then blushing and giggling as she covered her face in embarassment. "I'm such a dork."
"But a really cute dork" Jamie Lynn said with a smile as Kristen peaked out at her from behind her fingers. "Yeah, I meant you."
"Am I the only person here?" Kristen asked as Jamie Lynn laughed.
"Just me and you" Jamie Lynn said as she gently moved away Kristen's hands and held onto the girls fingers and swung their hands back and forth like a child. Kristen giggling as she pulled her hands away. Jamie Lynn giggling too as she lunged forward and latched onto them again as her and Kristen began a goofy laugh filled wrestling match that featured both of them taking turns poking the other in their repsective tickle spots in an attempt to one up the other and gain an advantage.
"Stop, ohmigod Jamie don't dare you touch me there!" Kristen squealed in a fit of giggles as Jamie Lynn tried to get her hand between Kristen's thighs but was unsuccessful. Kristen finally breaking away and running to the relative safety of the other side of the car. Soon enough being followed by Jamie Lynn in a dead sprint that circled the car a number of times before Kristen made a shocking detour and disappeared inside the big double doors that Jamie Lynn had emerged from just a few moments before. The shot going to a split screen as Kristen held the door shut from the inside and Jamie Lynn tugged from the other side and tried to get it open. Kristen laughing as she held Jamie Lynn at bay, momentarily. "WHAT'S WRONG JAMIE LYNN IS THE DOOR JAMMED?"
"You're gonna get it" Jamie Lynn said from the other side of the door. Then getting a 'light bulb above the head' type eye opening idea as she slowly backed away from the door that Kristen was still holding shut. Looking around for a moment and finding a large stick and stuffing it inside the metal handles of the door to block an exit from the inside before she went sprinting to the other side of the parking lot and disappearing inside another door and out of sight. Kristen noticing after a few long moments that the other end of the door no longer had any tension on it. She pushed against the door and found it wouldn't open and knew instantly that she'd been duped. Thinking quickly she snapped her head back to see what was behind her and caught Jamie Lynn just as she came bouncing (titties anyway) down the hallway from the other direction with a victorious smile on her face. "I told you!"
"Oh boy! I hope you're still gonna be friendly" Kristen said as she held her hands up to protect against any attacks as Jamie Lynn came close.
"How about you give me some to make up for it?" Jamie Lynn asked with a horny grin. Kristen relaxing.
"That's the Tanned Princess folks, horny even when she's beating someone up" Doc said as all action froze and Kristen looked around to see where the voice came from.
"Who the hell said that?" Kristen finally asked.
"That is my brain dead announcer" Jamie Lynn said, "...and the moron who called you. Right, Dork Evans?"
"Twas indeed" Doc said. "And I am not a dork."
"Ok, fucktard" Jamie Lynn said.
"Much better JL" Doc said as Jamie Lynn giggled.
"He called me?"
"I did indeed Kristen and to formally introduce myself I am the show's color commentator so-to-speak, Doc Evans!"
"UMMMMMM hi?" Kristen asked in confusion. "This is weird, do you have a body or are you just a voice?"
"He's a headless dick" Jamie Lynn said. Doc groaning as Jamie Lynn smiled smugly. "And who asked you to invite Kristen down here knowing the way we last ended? That wasn't nice to put her in that position."
"It's OK, he seems nice and everything turned out...alright?" Kristen asked as Jamie Lynn smiled. "So you need a co-host?"
"Alexa Nikolas quit and now I'm either gonna go solo or add a new co-host" Jamie Lynn said. "I guess you could you try out if you wanted."
"What are the requirements?"
"You like pussy and cock" Jamie Lynn said with a horny smile. "Tanned, baby smooth pussy like mine."
"Hayden said it was heavenly smooth" Kristen said with a horny smile to match Jamie Lynn's.
"I smell..."
"You smell yourself, now shut the fuck up and go away" Jamie Lynn said to Doc without ever looking at the camera. Going on as she said to Kristen, "My new co-host might have to spend hours between my thighs, and I would of course return the favor."
"You are so hot" Kristen said as smiled in awe at Jamie Lynn who slowly moved closer and trapped the girl against the door behind her. "What are you gonna do?"
"Gonna kiss you as we go to break" Jamie Lynn said and did just that as she kissed Kristen softly on the lips. The camera zooming in and showing Kristen hesistate for a split second before she gave in and kissed Jamie Lynn back with a spirit. The "FUCK YOU" logo popping up and taking us to a second and final commericial break just then as Summer looked up at me and said, "Those two are smokin together. I hope Kristen does the double dip on Jamie Lynn."
"MMMMMMM me too my baby" I moaned as I squeezed her in my arms and we turned back to the TV just as the "FUCK YOU" logo smashed back into the screen and brought us to a new scene. A shocking scene to say the least. Jamie Lynn was now on the set (the OLD Cumming Out/NEW Jamie Lynn set) sitting on the edge of the bed as Kristen stood in front of her and leaned down a bit as the two kissed like newfound lovers. Jamie Lynn's hands traveling up and down Kristen's baggy jeans. Kristen parting with her and smiling as she said, "You're an amazing kisser."
"MMMMMM so are you" Jamie Lynn said. "I also heard through the grapevine that you're good at something else."
"And what's that?" Kristen asked with a knowing smile as she hung her arms at her side and let Jamie Lynn unbutton her jeans and slowly unzip the fly.
"You...love...pussy" Jamie Lynn said deliberately as she skinned Kristen's pants down her creamy smooth thighs and to her feet. Kristen grinning as she held onto Jamie Lynn's shoulder and stepped out of them. "Is it true?"
"Oh it's damn true" Kristen cooed as she guided Jamie Lynn to her feet and lifted the girls shirt up. Jamie Lynn eagerly raising her arms above her head and letting Kristen take it off. Her titties bouncing gently as they came into view. "I love your titties."
"MMMMMMM let me see yours then" Jamie Lynn said following a kiss and smiling as she did Kristen the same way and Kristen's shirt soon joined Jamie Lynn's on the floor. Kristen reaching behind her and unsnapping her bra and shimmying out of it as it fell to the floor, her big titties bouncing as they came into view. Another long soft kiss following as her and Jamie Lynn crawled up the bed and settled in with Kristen on top in the mission position. One softly massaging their tongue against the other as Jamie Lynn's hands traveled down to Kristen's hot little ass and started to peel down the girls panties. A moved that was met by...no noticable resistance as Kristen broke the kiss and let Jamie Lynn do as she pleased. The panties getting hung above the bed on the wooden post as Kristen blushed and giggled. "Now you say you like pussy huh?"
"MMMMMMMM so much" Kristen cooed as she slid back down the bed and unbuttoned and soon pulled down Jamie Lynn's Daisy Dukes. Revealing the magical vision that is Jamie Lynn's smoothie. The jean shorts joining the rest of the clothes on the floor as Kristen settled in between Jamie Lynn's rich darkly tanned thighs and smiled up at her. Jamie Lynn gently stroked her hand through Kristen's long brown hair and gently guided her down and to her pussy, shaking visibly in delight as Kristen began to lick at her creamy smooth pussy. "MMMMMMMM."
"MMMMMMMM oh yeah, please don't stop, you just don't know how bad I need to feel good" Jamie Lynn moaned as she laid back and tensed as she experienced unending pleasure over the next few moments as Kristen's head bobbed up and down. Kristen's talented tongue never leaving Jamie Lynn's slit as it slid up and down in a now hypnotic rhythm that made me and Summer squirm in our seats. Kristen's hands gently laid on the inside of Jamie's quivering thighs as she moved to the girls clit and now focused on that. Jamie Lynn's flat stomach bowing in and out as the pleasure flooded her body in an endless stream as the hand in Kristen's hair clutched to a fist and she felt her pussy spasm. A whimpering moan escaping her lips as Kristen slid back down and began to fuck her tongue in and out of Jamie Lynn's pussy. "MMMMMMMM so good, ohmigod you're such a good pussy licker baby girl."
"MMMMMMM OK if I make it cum now?" Kristen asked with a knowing smile.
"MMMMMM please?" Jamie Lynn asked and tensing up and getting to feel just that as Kristen went back to fucking her tongue in and out. Moments later the orgasm Jamie Lynn needed so bad began, sending the Tanned Princess into a body shaking, moan causing pure heaven trip. A close-up, as Jamie Lynn settled down and went limp on the bed, featured Kristen patiently licking up Jamie Lynn's honey sweet girl cum as it squirted a bit and then oozed and bubbled out of the honey pot. "MMMMMMMM, please tell me...MMMMMMMM you want the job?"
"MMMMMMMM this answer your question?" Kristen asked as she started to suck Jamie Lynn's clit and made the girls entire body go stiff as the pleasure stormed into her again.
"YESSSSSSSSSS!" Jamie Lynn moaned in an agressive tone as she looked up at the camera and held up a middle finger and screamed, "ALEXA, FUCK YOU!"
"Executive Producer: Jamie Lynn Spears". Fade to black.