The Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show: Episode 17 The Jamie Lynn Spears "FUCK YOU" Show - Episode 17
"The Elle Gets A Fuckin' Tan Show"
Written by: TVM (mrtvm@mrtvm.com)
Archive: http://www.asstr.org/~TheVertManArchive/Stories/Celeb/Jamie/IndexJL.html
** Disclaimer: This story is purely fantasy and is based on the fictional life of real celebrities. The events portrayed in this series (although I wish) are not an accurate depiction of the star and or stars real lives. Any reposting or archiving without written permission is an infringement on the copyright of this series. So in other words You damn well better ask before you steal it.**
Starring: Jamie Lynn Spears (18) & Kristen Alderson (18)
Guest Stars: Elle Fanning (11), Jansen Panettiere (15) & Savannah Gipson (15)
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"The Jamie Lynn Spears FUCK YOU Show has been cancelled due to excessive butt fucking action by a preteen participant" Doc announced over the closing credits of a Scent of a Girl special. "You'd think with the incredible ratings we're getting we'd get renewed."
"I have personally enjoyed the excessive butt fucking action" Summer commented from in front of me. "Especially considering that it's Elle that's doing it."
"Anyway...does anyone need an announcer that pisses off their host for sport?" Doc asked as we laughed. "Or maybe you need a dickless head?"
We both laughed as the credits faded into tonight's opening segment with the always clever graphics as it this time walked up to the screen and grinned widely before holding up a sign that read "Don't miss the ALL NEW Series Finale of the Shower Club...next on Taboo". The logo then laughed and walked off into the distance as Doc chimed in with, "That was just pathetic."
The opening segment faded into a scene from the backseat of a car with Jamie Lynn and Kristen riding in the front and Elle riding in the seat next to the camera. Kristen driving as they rode along and chattering back and forth incoherently for the longest time as the camera kept panning to the left and then the right to take in the sights of the city of angels.
"Hey there's that new tanning parlor" Kristen said as she pointed it out on the right hand side of the road. "My tanned princess gonna go in?"
"Well of course she is" Jamie Lynn said as she leaned in and kissed her girlfriend briefly. Kristen grinning as she pulled into the parking lot and soon found a spot almost directly in front of the door. All three girls (and the camera) piling out of the car. Jamie Lynn wearing a pair of skin tight jean cut-offs and a titty shirt that barely covered her bouncy titties. While Kristen sported a dangerously sexy summer dress that barely covered her cute little perky ass and diving neck line that showed off plenty of her titties. Lastly, Elle wore a pair of simple blue jeans and a Cubs jersey that was only held closed with one button and showcased her flat stomach and barely tanned skinned and clearly showed she still had no titties.
"Hold on!" Jamie Lynn said as her phone started buzzing inside her skin tight blue jeans. "The tanned one at your service!"
"Where is my daughter at?" The lady asked.
"She's right here Ms. Fanning as always" Jamie Lynn said aloud as she placed the call on speakerphone. "What is it this time?"
"Hi Mom having another panic attack?" Elle asked as Jamie Lynn and Kristen laughed.
"Young lady you are walking on thin ice with me and if I were you I wouldn't be so quick to be a smart ass" Ms. Fanning said. "I have just reviewed your recent adventures on this little show of Jamie Lynn's and I am none too pleased."
"What do you mean you're none too pleased?" Jamie Lynn asked. "What did she do that you didn't like? Keep her clothes on too long?"
"That smart mouth is not helping your case Jamie Lynn" Ms. Fanning snapped.
"OK!" Jamie Lynn said. "Then what particular incident in question madam was the most troubling aspect and drove you to call me on this fine day?"
"I should have never agreed to let her appear on that so-called show of yours" Ms. Fanning said. "You're influence on her is growing every day and I am not liking the effects one damn bit."
"Look bitch either tell me what she did you didn't like or hang the fuck up and call my lawyer" Jamie Lynn said as Elle and Kristen laughed.
"You foul mouthed little witch" Ms. Fanning said. "I did not agree to have her appear in a scene with Michelle Trachtenberg. That girl is twice the age of my Elle and that is simply inappropriate."
"I always thought you were nuts Mom and you just proved it" Elle piped in.
"That's it young lady you're off the show effective immediately" Ms. Fanning demanded.
"Woman you are nuts" Jamie Lynn said. "You let your preteen daughter appear on a show where you know she'll be having sex and you don't have a problem with that but she fucks an older girl and that gets your panties in a wad?"
"Michelle is twice her age..."
"And Kris and I are both 6 or 7 years older and you don't have a problem with that" Jamie Lynn pointed out. "I think you're mad cause your daughter gets more than you do."
"Sounds like it" Kristen giggled as her and Elle smacked a high five.
"I am so glad I decided to pull her off that show of yours" Ms. Fanning said.
"Bitch we have an iron clad contract and if you even try to pull her off my legal team will sue your ass into the poor house" Jamie Lynn threatened.
"Well...well..." Ms. Fanning stammered.
"Game...set...match" Kristen added in as all three girls laughed and Ms. Fanning seemingly had a fit in anger over the threat of legal action.
"I will counter sue over...over...something" Ms. Fanning finally said. Jamie Lynn looking down the street as the camera followed her to a huge billboard plugging the upcoming card for the WWE that featured a main event with Rey Mysterio, Jr and The Undertaker. That apparently sparked an idea as Jamie Lynn smiled ear-to-ear and calmly replied, "Ms. Fanning to show you that I am a concerned and caring host I have decided to meet your demands without further discussion."
"You have?" Ms. Fanning asked in shock.
"You have?" Kristen asked first and then was quickly echoed by a shocked (and disappointed) Elle.
"I have" Jamie Lynn confirmed. "I will assure you that your daughter's likeness will not appear in another sexually related scene this season in exchange for you agreeing to a contract extension for the remainder of the produced episodes. Do we have a deal?"
"Well I know Elle will be none to happy but I sure am" Ms. Fanning beamed as Elle looked on in shock. "You have your people call my people and we'll get those papers signed."
"We'll do sweety" Ms. Fanning said as she happily hung up.
"Have you lost your fucking mind Jamie Lynn?" Kristen asked. "Elle is one of the biggest draws on this show..."
"SHHHHHHH, let me explain" Jamie Lynn said as the three took a seat on the bench out front of the tanning parlor. "Did you hear how specific I was in my wording? Likeness?"
"Yeah" Elle said as Jamie Lynn carefully stroked her hand up the lightly tanned skin of her preteen co-stars inner thigh. "You're likeness is your face not your body."
"I'm still confused" Kristen said.
"Look" Jamie Lynn said as she directed the girls attention to the large billboard for the WWE. "Rey Mysterio wears a mask and he performs just fine. So I'm thinking we have Elle wear a mask and she can too."
"So her likeness doesn't appear in those scenes but she does?" Kristen asked.
"Exactly" Jamie Lynn said. "And the catch is your dim bulb mother just agreed to let you appear in as many episodes as we do."
"But I have to wear a mask?"
"Only for the next few episodes and then it can come off and we've got her in a bind cause she can't sue us" Jamie Lynn said. "She agreed to let you appear as long as your likeness didn't. It won't. So at the end of the second season she'll be up shit creek without a paddle cause that agreement will be void."
"And when the third season begins I can butt fuck without it?" Elle asked excitedly.
"MMMMMMMMM lots and lots of butt fucking" Jamie Lynn said before kissing her softly. "And then she'll have already signed another contract that does not contain this agreement."
"Soooo...she's fucked" Kristen said as all three girls laughed as the logo rolled across the screen and took us to a coma inducing commercial break. Now I don't know if it was product integration or what but the first commercial up tonight was one for the just mentioned WWEshop.com and even some footage of Rey Mysterio Jr. performing in the ring. Summer and I both wondered if that was a coincidence or not. Those thoughts were soon washed away when we returned to the show with the logo popping up and smiling before holding up a sign that again read "Don't miss the ALL NEW Series Finale of the Shower Club...next on Taboo".
"We here at the Jamie Lynn Show are total whores for the network" Doc announced as the logo kept pointing to the previously mentioned sign and smiling widely. "Though we're blondes when it comes to being subtle about plugging another series here on Taboo TV. Wait...I maybe wrong and all...but I think this makes us blonde whores. WOO HOO!"
"I LOVE YOU DOC EVANS" Summer screamed at the screen as we both laughed.
The logo finally fading from the screen and taking with it's shameless plug for the series that follows Jamie Lynn on the Tuesday night schedule. This time though it brought us to a surprising scene in that we were following someone whom I couldn't immediately recognize. It turned out to be, of all people, Mackenzie Rosman as she made her way up the steps inside an apartment building to a floor with doors on both sides of the hallway. A sharp knocking would soon follow.
"Yo?" Came the sound of Jansen Panettiere's voice as he opened the door and seemed to be shocked to see Mackenzie on the other side. "Hey Mac."
"Hey cute stuff" Mackenzie said as she leaned in and shocked me when she kissed him on the lips.
"What the hell are you doing?" Jansen asked as another girl came in from the other room as the camera followed Mackenzie inside. I soon recognized the other girl as one of the stars of the Taboo TV series, Scent of a Girl, Savannah Gipson and Jansen's co-star from his own series, Jansen Panettiere: Worldwide. "And where the fuck is Hayden?"
"We broke up" Mackenzie said as the smile left her face.
"What the hell was that?" Savannah asked.
"Me trying to get back at Hayden by fucking her horny brother?" Mackenzie asked as both Savannah and Jansen grinned. "The bitch dumped me because I couldn't keep her happy apparently and so I figured..."
"Hayden loves you though" Jansen inserted. "What could possibly make her wanna break up with you?"
"She found out that her two fantasy girls, Kristen and Jamie Lynn were dating" Mackenzie said and she started going on about how much she had always wanted to fuck both of them at once and that lead to our fight.
"And you never seemed to have a problem with it before" Jansen said. "So why it is an issue now?"
"I thought once Cumming Out faded to black once and for all that things would change" Mackenzie said. "I guess I was wrong."
"I don't know why you thought that to begin with" Savannah said. "Hayden's lust is notorious."
"I guess" Mackenzie admitted. "And why are you here?"
"We're dating" Jansen said as he kissed his girlfriends cheek and grinned. "I've been taken off the market."
"Yep" Savannah said as she kissed Jansen on the lips. "Took a while to convince him but I did."
"How?"
"He did anal on me" Savannah said. "He was convinced after that."
"You horny little fucker" Mackenzie said as she pushed Jansen away playfully. "Is that all you ever think about?"
"He's not the only one who loves it" Savannah said. "Me and you are both members of that club."
"True" Mackenzie admitted. "But I'm so not in the mood for anything like that lately."
"So your dumbass came here to seduce Jansen and you didn't think he would wanna do that?" Savannah asked.
"Fuck you" Mackenzie said as she pushed a giggling Savannah back and the two giggling girls began a wrestling match that started as the two crashed down on to the couch and trading pokes back and forth to each others tickle spots. The camera pulling back and showing Jansen watching with a horny smile for a long moment before he adjusted his (hardened) cock inside his pants and disappeared off-camera as he now joined the girls. "MMMMMMMMM hey Jans..."
Another logo roll took us to another break that lasted roughly 14 hours (or so it seemed) before we again saw the logo come back up on the screen and this time holding up a sign that read, "We're blonde whores now, huh Doc?"
"We sure are" Doc said over the graphic. "And next on Taboo TV is an all new episode of the new series, Shower Club."
"You're shameless and pathetic, Doc!" The sign being held by the logo now read.
"Now I'm being insulted by a computer generated graphic" Doc said as Summer and I laughed. "I miss Jamie Lynn sooo much."
The logo smiled one last time before he folded the sign and walked off into the distance as the scene changed again to where we left off with Jamie Lynn, Kristen and Elle. The three of them sitting on the bench outside of the tanning parlor. The audio came up and we heard Jamie Lynn say, "So Elle you ready for your first tan?"
"Me?" Elle asked in surprise. "I thought you were gonna get one?"
"I already have one" Jamie Lynn confirmed as she took Elle's hand and had the girl stand and move over and sit back down across her thighs. "Are you saying you don't want one?"
"Yeah I guess" Elle said. "Dakota always tanned on the deck outside like every day she was home. I just never thought I needed one."
"Well you can go without one if you'd like" Jamie Lynn said as she ran a single finger around Elle's exposed belly button.
"If you had one I think you'd be a lot sexier" Kristen said before kissing Elle softly and smiling. "Although this milky white skin sure does something for me."
"MMMMMMMMMM me too" Jamie Lynn cooed as she stroked her hand now over and over the baby smooth skin of Elle's flat stomach in a slow curcular motion. "But I would love to see my sexy little butt fucking demon with a dark tan from head to toe."
"Oh yeah" Kristen said as watched Jamie Lynn's other hand join her first as she now stroked both hands over Elle's stomach and around to her back. "MMMMMMMM that would sure be a nice visual when I'm watching it back later."
"Or be a nice visual while she's doing her favorite thing to us" Jamie Lynn said as she unbuttoned the single button that held Elle's jersey closed and watched it fall open with a smile. Elle smiling and moaning every so softly as Jamie Lynn took advantage of the now opened jersey and stroked her hands up and down Elle's flat chest softly as she leaned up to kiss the girl. Both of Elle's arms hanging at her side as she slowly fed Jamie Lynn her tongue and the two began a slow rhythm massaging one against the other. Kristen watched from beside the two for a long moment and looked around to make sure no one was watching as Jamie Lynn tweaked Elle's nipples in her fingers as the two parted finally. "MMMMMMMMM so smooth."
"You love that I don't have boobs yet huh?" Elle ask as Jamie Lynn continued to stroke her flat chest softly.
"I sure do" Jamie Lynn confirmed and followed it with a soft kiss.
"I do too Elle" Kristen added with a horny smile. A random person walking by and prompting Jamie Lynn to quickly close Elle's jersey and rebutton it as the person gave them a weird look but passed on by without incident. "So what about this tan?"
"Don't you have to be fourteen in this state to do that?" Elle asked as she slid off Jamie Lynn's thighs and stood as the other two soon joined her.
"Well if they ask then you are" Jamie Lynn said as the threesome walked inside and were quickly met by a girl with a phenomenal tan and a bright smile.
"Hi, for how many?" Britney (the tan girl) asked.
"Just one today" Jamie Lynn said as she motioned to Elle. "Is that OK?"
"You're 14?" Britney asked Elle.
"Yes?" Elle asked as Britney laughed.
"Good enough for me" Britney said as she turned the three girls followed her to a backroom with what looked a paint booth. "So how do you wanna do it? Bikini, topless or nude?"
"Nude obviously" Jamie Lynn answered as Elle blushed but grinned as she followed Britney into the booth and Kristen and Jamie Lynn took a seat. The screen then froze and we could hear the voice of Doc as he said, "Jamie Lynn apparently doesn't know very much about keeping the interest of the viewer. Let's skip ahead fifteen minutes and see what Elle looks like after. I hope she's not John Boehner orange. Google that!"
"All done" Britney said as she emerged from the booth and smiled. "That girl is also not 14."
"Sure she is" Jamie Lynn giggled along with Britney as she opened the curtain to the tan booth and got a sneak preview. "WOW!"
"Is it good?" Kristen asked.
"Come out here baby girl" Jamie Lynn said as she opened the curtain and Elle walked out: naked from head to toe and now sporting a stunning new tan. One that featured no tan lines and was as dark and rich as Jamie Lynn's. Jamie Lynn took Elle's hand and had her raise both arms above her head and slowly twirl around as the stunning visual became clear now. "MMMMMM look at that cute little smoothie with a tan."
"I noticed" Kristen said as she now had Elle turn so she could see the girls ass and was the first to stroke her hands down Elle's back to her now tanned ass cheeks and squeeze them in her fingers. "So fuckin gorgeous baby."
"MMMMMMMMM I'll say" Jamie Lynn said as she kissed Elle's lips softly and stroked her hands up Elle's stomach and once again to her flat chest. The scene freezing and fading to black now as the screen read simply: "Executive Producer: Jamie Lyunn Spears".