This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of Characters:
James Thomas Arthur (Jamey)
Harold Brian Arthur -- Jamey's Brother (Habby)
Harold Garfield Arthur -- Jamey's dad
William Pitts -- Roommate (Will)
Ronny -- Will's best friend.
George Wiggins
Darrel -- George's roommate
Dr. Steve Jordan -- Doctor
Grant (Buddy) Windward -- Waiter at Holdren's
John -- Neighbor across the hall.
Jerry -- John's roomie
From Chapter 17:
"Someday we'll sit and laugh about this." He quipped.
"You see us that far into the future?" I said.
"Well, I mean -- that is -- er -- maybe this weekend -- maybe then we'll laugh about today." He was clearly back-tracking, trying to take his foot out of his mouth.
"Oh yeah," I said. I paused for too long, thinking of what I could say. "About this weekend."
"Yes?" He said, sounding worried.
Chapter 18
"What time are we leaving?" I asked.
"Oh! Gosh! I was afraid you changed your mind or something." He said breathlessly.
"I wouldn't do that to you, Steve." I said, relieved to have the attention away from myself.
"I was hoping. You don't look very good. Are you sure you want to go out. We can do it another night. Maybe we can just stay here -- or go for a walk?"
"A walk might feel okay." I said.
"Put on a warm coat, it's mighty cold out there." He warned.
I put my coat on and shoes and socks. I turned out the lights and opened the door, then closed it again. I impulsively grabbed Steve and was about to kiss him, but then remembered the last time we were together.
"May I kiss you?" I asked, as he had done that last time.
"It might be nicer if we brush our teeth." He said.
"Oh. OHH! Yeah! My -- eewww! I just got through -- sorry. Did you bring your tooth brush?" I asked now embarrassed.
"Um -- well, when I said we, I guess I WAS including myself -- but I just brushed mine -- before I came over." He grinned.
I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, my gums, my tongue, and then swallowed the tooth paste. Then I used mouth wash. I grabbed my spritzer of CK1 and gave myself a light spritz. I went back. "Now?" I asked.
"Yes." He said. I first almost collapsed on him. He held me closer than we had been before. I clung and pulled him even closer. I buried my face in his neck. He giggled a little. "Okay, that tickled!" He said. I kissed the place I nuzzled and he giggled again. "I think you've found my spot."
"You're `G' Spot?" I chuckled.
"Well -- if `G' stands for giggle!"
I then brought my lips to his. He closed his eyes and slightly opened his mouth. His lips were very warm and more soft and cushy than I ever felt. I tested the opening with my tongue. He opened a little more. I rolled my tongue around in his mouth. His hand went to me head as he pulled my face in even closer and moaned. "Where did you learn to kiss?" He asked.
"I dunno. At the movies?" I answered. "But -- Steve -- I've NEVER been kissed like that either. You have the warmest softest lips I ever felt." I wasn't forgetting me earlier heartache, but this just felt so good -- so comforting.
"I think," Steve said, "In the interest of science, we better do it again -- to make sure it wasn't an anomaly."
"I agree, Doctor!" I said officiously. We kissed again, and this time his tongue did some exploring of its own. It was every bit as soft and warm as his lips. I pulled him over to my bed and down onto it. We made out there for about 15 minutes. Our hands were all over each other's bodies -- caressing everywhere except the most erotic places.
"Jamey -- are you sure this is where you want to go tonight?"
"I'm not sure of anything, except, that this feels -- so good." I answered.
"I have to confess -- Jamey -- I've never been past this point -- or even to this point." Said Steve.
I couldn't help contrasting Steve against Buddy. I tried to drive it from my head, but it persisted. Even though Steve was new to this, his whole being was more grounded than Buddy's. Buddy almost vibrates, he's full of so much nervous energy. So am I for that matter! It's somehow comforting to be with a guy who is not so excitable -- who expresses himself -- his concerns -- in a more relaxed way. I feel more relaxed with Steve -- if that's good.
"Uh -- It's all pretty new to me too." I confessed. "Well, duh!" I added. "I'm pretty new!"
SHIT! Why did I say that?! Well, maybe it will go unnoticed.
"Yeah, that's a point we should probably discuss sometime." He said.
Well, so much for going unnoticed!
"I don't know why I am so attracted to such a young guy -- I mean other than the obvious -- you're young and attractive -- and sexy. And even more interesting than that - - why are you even remotely interested in me?"
At first I didn't want to get into this at this time. My hormones were all worked up! But then I remembered my dad's advice to choose before my birthday. Maybe this is as good a time as any. One thing for sure. I am not going to make the same mistake I did with Buddy -- if I have any chance at all with him any more. I eliminated John. Buddy eliminated himself -- with a lot of help from me! And now -- What am I left with?
"Jamey? Are you okay? Still a little shook up?"
"Huh?" I was torn from my reverie. "Oh! Sorry. Yeah -- what were -- oh! Yes. I -- uh -- well, for one thing, you are also very attractive." I strained my brain to focus! "And - - I like that you are older and more experienced -- in life -- than I am."
He moved a little away from me, which made me wonder why. "I'm old enough to be your dad."
"You've said that already, Steve. Yeah, that could be true if you were 14 when you conceived me."
"You see? I'm so old I'm repeating myself!" he laughed. So I laughed too.
"You're just -- so -- fascinating to me -- I guess."
"Uh huh. And when you are 35 and I'm 50, do you think -- oh crap!" He said. "You probably aren't even close to thinking that far in the future! Silly me!"
"Actually I am. Or at least I'm trying to decide if I want to."
"Jamey -- I know I'm a lot older -- and I SHOULD be anxious to get on with my life. But I don't FEEL that old."
"You don't ACT that old -- except you are a lot more grounded than -- uh -- most guys my age. But I like that!"
"Anyway, what I was trying to say is, can we just kind of explore our situation for awhile -- to see if it is good for both of us?"
Damn! He's doing the same as I was! I wonder if he has someone else he is trying to decide about.
"What the hell. Why not?" I said.
"Huh?"
"I mean -- yeah! Maybe just one suggestion?"
"What?"
"When we're together -- let's try to just focus on being with each other."
He looked at me questioningly. "Have I given you any reason to think I have been elsewhere?"
"NO! But -- well, obviously I have."
"I know you have been dating other guys. Quite honestly, it's made me a bit nervous. Especially when I figured out that one of them was probably Grant. Dang! He's a hotty! I don't even want to know why you would choose me over him!"
"Steve -- I have to be honest with you. There is no one else."
"What?"
"Nope. I started to get close to Bud -- er -- Grant, but I wanted to get to know you better before I -- shit! I didn't want to get into this with you. It's why he dumped me."
"He dumped you?"
I couldn't help the tears. They sprang to my eyes again.
"Ohhhhhhhh! He dumped you just this afternoon -- didn't he?" He said. I nodded. He moved closer to me again. "Jamey, I know it must be hard for a 20 year old -- that's your age, right?"
"Well, not for a couple weeks." I admitted.
"Oh God! It's worse than I thought!" he cried. Then he did something odd. He grabbed me and hugged me! "You're not only delicious -- you're amazing!"
His sudden excitement was also exciting me. "You seem so mature, and yet you're -- you're barely legal! Haha! Hey! That's okay! It just took me by surprise. I knew you were young, but somehow the fact that you are still a teenager is -- well -- somehow absurd -,and somehow exciting -- and somehow -- wonderful!"
"<SIGH!> I'm glad you -- er -- approve." I said, laughing away my tears. I pressed myself closer to him, and he responded as he never had before. He ground his groin into mine and kissed me again -- this time with a kind of urgency that he didn't have before. He was nearly vibrating. I again thought of Buddy, but as I looked deeply into his eyes, I lost that thought. Finally -- at last -- I was 100% with Steve.
"Jamey, I was -- I mean -- um -- where do you see this going?"
"I'm up for anything, Dude!" I said, breathlessly.
"I was hoping that maybe you would be my first -- sexual -- experience -- but it was supposed to be in Bermuda."
"There are things we can do here -- and then others we can do in Bermuda." I exclaimed. I really WANTED him to f- me right here and now, but maybe it would be best -- for Steve -- to take it in stages.
"Haha! I bought my first package of condoms this afternoon! I didn't have any idea where this might go. I definitely didn't think I'd be in bed with you before dinner! But my ever-cautious self was exerting itself."
I rolled over on top of him. We laughed again. "Steve -- shut up!" I said, and I kissed him and humped him. I started to unbutton his shirt. He suddenly got serious again.
"Is this -- um - " Tears filled his eyes. "I mean -- this is a very important milestone for me -- be gentle. I mean -- make it special for me -- huh?"
I smiled. "You ARE an overgrown teenager, aren't you?" I said. "Okay. You know what?" I said, as I started to button his shirt back up. "Let's do this right. It's your first time. I somehow got my appetite back. Lets make this special, starting with that dinner you promised me! I want you to remember this -- and me -- as a very special occasion."
"I'm still buying!" he said. "Where shall we go?"
"I don't care -- anywhere you want. You know this town better than I."
"Well, it won't be Holdrens!" He laughed. He grabbed his coat and reminded me to get mine, and we walked to his car hand-in-hand.
During dinner he saw the faraway look in my face again. "I can't help comparing myself with Grant." He said. "So I know that you must be too."
That brought me back to the table!
"Busted!" I said. "Sorry. But no, I wasn't comparing. But I was thinking about him. I'll try to focus better."
"No, it's okay. You have to get him out of your system. I mean -- try to focus -- but I understand."
"This guy's a saint!" I thought. "I'll try." I said.
When we got back to the dorm, he acted nervous. "Relax, Steve. This is gonna be fun. It's cool that I can show you a thing or two. I'm sure I have a lot to learn from you!"
We undressed to our boxers. He started to get into bed. I pulled him back up. "Huh?" he said.
Not saying anything, I slipped my fingers in the top of his boxers and pulled them down and over his package. It was not as big as Buddy's, but not as small as mine. It looked good. Of course it was quickly coming to attention. He dittoed what I did. I led him to the bathroom, and turned on the shower.
"I took a shower before I came." He said.
"So did I, but - - This isn't to get clean!"
"Ohhh!" He said. When the water was hot, I led him into the shower. We both got wet. I kissed him again. "I gotta pee!" He said.
"Okay," I said, not letting him go and grinning. "Go ahead -- we're in the shower." As he peed, I teased him with a kiss. He suddenly grabbed me and as he kept up his forceful stream, he kissed me deep -- and moaned.
"Gahhh!" He exclaimed. "That was AMAZING! It felt almost like an orgasm."
"I'll have to try it sometime." I said, laughing. "Now we have a reason to wash" I said. I grabbed the soap and ran it all over Steve's body. He closed his eyes and almost purred. When I got to his soldier, I pumped it a few times and it blew. His eyes got huge and fluttered as he started to breath fast and heavy.
"Ohhhh!" He exclaimed again. "Didn't see that coming! That was great!" I then pushed him into the shower and rinsed him off. "Your turn!" He said, brightly.
I was impressed he didn't try to go to sleep right there in the shower. That's what Bud -- STOP! Drive him out of my mind!
Steve then took the soap and started to wash me. When he got to my shoulders, he pressed deep into the tissue, and massaged them for a long time. "Got a little tension in here, Jamey?" He said.
"Ohhhh!" I cried. "That feels amazing!" I fell back against him. He caught me and put his arms around the front of me and massaged my pecs. He played with my hardening tits, and hummed in my ear. I just moaned. Man his hands are good! From the back, he continued to wash down my front, rubbing my tummy. I giggled and he moved deftly past my groin to my legs. He stooped down and even massaged my thighs and lower leg muscles. When he finished with my feet, he started to wash my genitals. He stopped and looked.
"Mmm! Perfect!" He said as he slowly pulled the skin up and down and washed it ever so gently. I was fully expecting for him to get me off, like I did him - - but he didn't. Instead, he pushed me into the shower and rinsed me all off, then knelt again.
"I've wanted to do this for so long!" he said, smiling. He slowly lowered his mouth around the head and then licked as fast as he could as he engulfed it all in his mouth. He sucked and rolled his tongue around it for a time. I could tell that he was pretty much savoring the experience. Then he started to bob on me in earnest until I felt my spunk start to rise. I tried to pull out.
"No!" He said. "I want this!" And he again bobbed on me until I was finished erupting. I had to grab the wall for support, it made me so weak. He got up and looked at me as he swirled my spunk around in his mouth. Then he closed his eyes and swallowed it. I let go of the wall and enclosed him in my embrace. I tasted his cummy mouth and it was wonderful.
"Wow!" For your first time, that was pretty brave. You swallowed that like you've done it before." I said.
"I have. Been eating my own for years. Yours is so much better -- warm, salty and - - sweet."
"It never tasted better than it did coming back from you!" I said.
We kissed again and then as if on cue, we walked to the bed. I don't think our eyes left each other the whole way. I think I could love this guy. A voice way in the back of my consciousness was reminding me of something, but I shut it out.
We cuddled and kissed on the bed until we both were raging with wood again. We decided to do a perfect 69. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. We had to time ourselves to finish together. That took a little away from the experience, because of the thinking involved, but we did it and it was sweet! We again exchanged our spunks in a sweet kiss. He got out of bed. "I better go, I guess."
"What?" I cried. "You're not staying all night?"
"Better not. You have school -- I assume -- tomorrow and I have to be alert for surgery. Besides -- I want to save something for Bermuda."
"Oh, there's plenty to do in Bermuda!" I whined. "And besides, I've stayed with you all night before!"
"Yeah, but if you remember -- you were sick. No, I have to let some common sense prevail here."
"Will I see you before Friday?" I whimpered, my lower lip protruding as far as I could force it out.
He laughed. "You're cute! We can go to dinner if you want, but -- let's save anything else like -- tonight -- for Bermuda. It would mean a lot to me."
I finally smiled. "Okay. "I love you!" It came out without thinking.
"Ohhh! You ARE trying to steal my heart. Well, it's working!" he said. "I love you too."
Oops!
I actually felt guilty. I couldn't say that to Buddy until last weekend, and I felt so much closer to him -- I think. And it just came out spontaneously with Steve. Was it because I feel so much more at ease with him? Was it because I got more comfortable saying it with Buddy? Well, anyway, it's now out there, and I can't exactly take it back.
"You have to understand, Jamey, that when I say that, I do mean it. I wouldn't do the things I did with you tonight -- if I didn't love you. I am assuming that you feel the same way." I nodded. "and I assume too that you are not ready to say that you are in love with me -- even though you feel love toward me." I nodded. I was so relieved. He DOES understand!
He sat back down on the bed. "Jamey -- I HAVE an agenda. I don't want any misunderstandings. I am looking for a soul mate -- a partner. Maybe I'm too old or something -- I don't think I could field several at once like you have been -- and at the same time deal with a boyfriend dying. That boggles my mind. I am seeing only you. I imagine that you are still going through a lot. Sounds like you just lost a friend this afternoon. I'm so sorry. I like him a lot, but I don't know him."
When he finished talking, I had tears in my eyes. "Oh it's not you, Steve -- or really, it is. But it's just -- you seem to speak to my heart -- my being. You seem to understand me more than I do myself. It's just -- well -- overwhelming. This whole day has been. You say you don't think you could handle what I've been through. Neither can I! I've never felt so out of control! I asked for my dad's help, but he just couldn't understand. And now you lay here next to me and tell me exactly how I feel -- in terms I could not even express myself. THAT's where these tears came from."
He kissed me sweetly on the lips. "Tomorrow night then -- dinner?" He said. My heart leaped.
"Same time?" I said.
"Yes -- but nothing more than dinner tomorrow, Jamey."
"I know." I smiled. ("We'll see" I thought.) He winked at me and stepped out. Somehow, I feel he's on to me. And -- somehow, I feel that I would do anything he wants!
After he left I got up and forced myself to do the studying I was somehow going to catch up on if he had stayed. I really need someone in my life who is wiser than I am -- don't I? I heard the familiar tap on my door. I got up from my desk and opened the door, rather than just saying "c'min".
"Hi." He said.
"Hi John!" I said.
"You seem happy." He said.
"I am!" I wondered if I should share with him. I decided I could. "I think I might be falling in love." I said. It sounded unreal coming out of my mouth.
"Oh!" He said. "I guess that means I'm too late, huh? I was coming over to tell you I have decided I am -- well -- definitely more interested in guys than girls. I dated a -- what I would call -- a really hot girl tonight. She's a cheer leader, and I could have done anything with her. She was trying to get me in bed. Well, actually she DID get me in bed."
"Wow! Did you - "
"We DID! And it was -- it felt good. But -- I can't see myself wanting that! I find myself craving y -- er -- a guy much more!"
"You sound kind of excited too." I said. "Have you anyone in mind?"
He smiled. "Yeah, but I'll get over it. Can we at least be good friends?" His smile widened. "Anyway -- which is it, the man-about-campus or the doctor?"
"The doctor." I said without thinking.
"Oh! Somehow I was betting you'd go for the younger guy."
"Well -- he blew me off."
"That must have felt good. But why did you choose the doctor. Did he do more than blow you off?"
"No -- he blew me off -- he DUMPED me!"
"Ohhh! Haha! Well, then it's good that you are falling for the doctor, huh?"
"I guess." I said.
"huh?"
"YES!" I said. "That's the good thing."
"Well, I guess I better go. See yah!"
"What, without as much as a hug?" I said, getting up.
He almost ran to my arms and melted into them. He looked into my eyes. "Thanks for being my friend."
"Ditto!" He went back across the hall.
I studied well past 11:00 and fell into bed. I was asleep in minutes.
"What do you want? Who do you want? Who do you think will be the best for you?" The voice was harsh and ugly, and the monster was hideous, but the intent rang kindly. I was both attracted and afraid of this monster. As usual, I recognized it as a dream. I answered.
"My prospects have been narrowed to only one -- Steve. Why do you ask?"
"What? Only one?" His ugly, bumpy face screwed up and turned a putrid combination of blood red and a sick green. But his raspy voice still was relatively calm.
"I think I could really like Steve -- maybe love - "
"YOU THINK!?" He exploded. No really -- he exploded into thin air and his echo seemed to linger forever.
"You called out."
I looked over and John's sweet face was looking into my own. He was kneeling on the floor, his hand was on my forehead. I was still shaking.
"Want me to hold you?" He said.
"Y -- yeah." I said, my voice shaking.
He climbed in under the covers. His warm body felt reassuring, as he wrapped it around mine. He went to lengths to try to make it non-sexual, but I felt his stiff soldier graze my hip, as he tried to change to make me more comfortable. Of course I felt my own surge of hormones. I listened as his breathing got slower and more rythmic. I looked at the clock. 12:01 AM.
Tap-tap tap. I felt beside me. John was there! So that part wasn't a dream. Who could that be? "Who is it?" I said.
"Steve! Can I come in?"
John was instantly awake and understood my dilemma. He dove over me and under the covers. "S- sure." I said, shakily.
"I couldn't find my pager. I can't be without it. It must have -- oh here it is!" He reached down under my desk. This put his face next to mine. I felt John slink closer to the edge of the bed. "Damn, Jamey, do you know how hard it is for me to leave, now that I'm back here?"
I know that he was hinting that he might be persuaded to stay, but under the circumstances, what could I do? "Yeah, I know how you feel. But I -- um -- really respect your -- um -- steadfastness."
Steadfasness? GOOD GRIEF! Where did THAT come from??!!
"Oh! Okay!" He said, clearly surprised, and maybe a little disappointed. But then he lay on top of me -- on top of the covers. I don't think he could tell that John was almost oozing over the edge of the bed, as I moved to position myself comfortable under him. He hugged me and kissed me deeply. I'm afraid I didn't respond as nicely as he hoped.
"I'm really having mixed feelings about leaving now." He said, as his hand caressed my face. "But you're right. I have my reputation at stake, don't I?"
Damn! He was begging me to beg him to stay!
"It's okay. It will make Bermuda better." I said.
"Yeah. Yeah -- your right. Damn, I love you, Jamey!"
"I -- er -- ditto -- I mean, yeah -- I -- um -- love you too." Yeah, that came straight from the heart! The heart that was sinking by the nanosecond!
"Okay! (Pause) Okay, then! I guess I better get home! Well, if that's all you -- I mean -- Okay. Bye, sweet Jamey!" He kissed me again, even more passionately than the first. I did my best to try to kiss him back.
He got up and caressed my face and down my arm, then kissed my hand as he walked for the door. "Bye!" he whispered, then closed the door.
"How can I ever thank you?" I said as John struggled to get out from between the edge of my mattress and the wall.
"It's okay. I might need a favor some day. Man he really does love you, doesn't he?"
"He hardly knows me." I said.
"Are you okay now -- for the rest of the night?"
"I guess. Sorry I'm so high maintenance."
"It's okay." He said. He planted a sweet kiss on my lips and left again for his room.
I'm sure my eyes were open. The monster appeared on the ceiling over my bed. Again, some order of sweetness returned to his gravelly voice. "See?" He said.
Then his face morphed into Buddy's, then my own, as it seemed to shrink into nothingness, and was laughing.
I sat up in bed. I looked at the clock. 12:42. I guess I DID go to sleep. Dreams! What can they mean? I got up and went to the bathroom. I peed, then came back. "We don't have to do anything. I just want to be here the rest of the night." The form sitting on my bed said. "I hope you're not disappointed in me. I sat in my car for the last 35 minutes, justifying why I should or shouldn't come back up here."
I nearly attacked him. "Oh, Steve! You're like an answer to a dream!" I said. I pulled him up and hugged and kissed him almost violently.
"Wow! Glad I came back!" He said laughing. "But you didn't seem so anxious to have me earlier."
"There was someone else in my bed!" I said. The stunned look on his face moved me -- to lie -- well, not completely.
"A monster! A monster was in my bed. I had just had a bad dream."
"You dreamed of a monster?" He said. "Man, you must have some interesting dreams. I never remember mine!" He stepped around me and looked at my body, clad only in boxer shorts. "Damn, but I'm attracted to your skinny ass!" He laughed.
"Only my ass?" I said.
"All of you!"
"Oh? Am I ALL ass, then?" I quipped.
"You're all 100% perfect! Perfect for me!" He talked as he stripped down to -- nothing. "We better get to bed before the sun comes up!"
I removed my boxers and we kissed and cuddled to sleep. I didn't dream. I didn't need to. My dream was holding on to me, right?
Notes: Why can't Jamey ever say anything without a question mark at the end? WHY!!?? (Why can't the author? WHY??!!) Comments always welcome to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve