Jake Sisko Chronicles

Author's Note. This is the first part of a new three-part sequel by Aardon Beta in the ongoing saga of Jake Sisko of Deep Space Nine. It carries on from where nga'chuq R'uustai ended.

Star Trek, Deep Space Nine and all characters from the series are trademarks of and copyright by Paramount Pictures Corporation. References to the character Salene are from the trilogy written by Macedon and J posted at the a.s.c. archive. Gowran and Nolar are copyright by this author.

Trek fans, Bajorans, and gay men and boys of all ages can write to the author, Aardon Beta, c/o authorsix@hotmail.com where he has a subspace temporal portal link for communicating when he is in transmission range with Earth.

Of Chance, Destiny and Choice

Part One: Chance

"Stardate 50180.9. Journal of Jake the Coward, also known far and wide as Jake the Loser, Jake the Fake, and Jake the Fag. Just finished my sixth session with Counselor Hojia. We talked about Ajilon Prime again of course. It is supposed to be cleansing, like a purgative, to talk about what I saw, the men crawling in the mud and looking for missing arms and legs, the stench of guts spilling out of ripped open bellies, the blank eyes of dead men staring up at you with a look of surprise, the rows upon rows of body bags. That's shit. Recalling it doesn't do anything for me, and talking about it doesn't change the fact I panicked. I did worse than panic, I left behind a wounded friend and comrade, Dr. Julian Bashir, who hadn't wanted to take me to the surface of the planet in the first place. I left him there in the middle of the mortar fire and I ran to save my worthless hide.

That is one thing we will never talk about, my hide. Counselor Hojia can probe and coax and coerce all she wants, but we will not ever go there, to the deepest secrets, to my worthlessness, to my lack of honor, lack of purpose, lack of balls. A fag without balls, now there is a curiosity. Come one, come all, look at the freak. At least when Salene had his balls cut out he had a good reason."

Jake pushed the PADD away from him and stared at the wall. Like usual, the counseling session to deal with his fears on Duran IV had ended with an argument, and his thoughts of Salene threw him even further into depression. There was no way Counselor Hojia was going to understand what it was like at Ajilon Prime, the explosions, the death, the fear. Nobody could understand without being there. Certainly if she could not understand that, there was going to be no way she could understand the bigger issue, the fact that he was gay. Maybe it was the same issue. Gays were not really men. At least that was the attitude of everyone that he knew. Gays were women. Gays were weak. They were cowards. Was that the reason he had run? Because he was gay?

He was gay. At least that much he knew. He knew that four years ago when he was fourteen and Nog had introduced him to jerking off, although at the time he had told himself that it was just experimenting. He was even more certain a year later when he sucked Nog off for the first time. He knew Nog had only done that to experience it, and that he had sex with Jake just to get off because there were no other choices. Jake knew he himself did it because he wanted it, and because he liked it. He simply had not ruled out also liking women back then. That he had only done upon returning to Deep Space Nine.

Now Nog was at the Academy, and after their last visit together back on Earth, he knew that they were growing apart. That happens to the best of friends, but it is especially hard when the friends you do have your own age are so few. Jake never did have many friends, and those that he did have he clung to tightly, which made it even harder to be growing apart. That seemed, however, to be his fate.

What made things even more difficult in this case was that he knew they were growing apart because they saw life so differently. Nog was a soldier now, a Starfleet Officer. War was something glorious, something to die for. Jake was the poet, the philosopher, the writer. Life was glorious, not war. War was pain, and fear and death. War was something to be avoided at all costs. That difference they could work out. More serious was Nog's concept of sexuality. Like all Ferengi and like everything else in life, he saw sex as an acquisition. Sex was not something you shared. Sex was male dominant, female submissive. Sex was not two males. That was being horny and desperate back when they were kids. Sure they had enjoyed having sex together. It was exciting, and it was satisfying, but that was where the similarity ended between the two. For Nog, it had been an adventure, a means to an end, and that end focused on him and his needs, on his cock and his need to get off. For Jake it was just the opposite, it was much deeper, much more wonderful. It focused on satisfying others, others of the same sex. It was something that he desired, and yet that frightened the hell out of him.

Then there was Gowran, the Klingon youth that he had met back on Stardate 49559. They had become bonded lovers in the Klingon ritual of nga'chuq R'uustai, a horrifying, painful ordeal that had taxed him physically, emotionally, and mentally like no other experience had. It had also brought him to a closer understanding about himself, and about his attitude and feelings about others. That had been good. In the end they had engaged in forty-eight hours of wild, violent, wonderfully passionate sex. That had been very good.

However, for Gowran it had been a ritual bonding, a ceremony, not something from the heart. For Klingons, matters of the heart were reserved for glory of the Empire and honor in battle. In a way Gowran and Nog were very similar. That seemed to be the type of male Jake attracted, the dominant, aggressive type. That would make him a submissive, a queen to use the language of old Earth, but that was not how he felt. Anyway, Gowran was off in a Klingon warship fighting the Cardassians and the Dominion at the moment and out of his life.

And finally, there was Salene, the Vulcan Chi`pah, the castrato, the national singing treasure who had chosen to become a eunuch in order to pursue his singing career. That choice had been an abomination to Worf and Kira, a topic of too great a discomfort for O'Brien, and the object of jokes and derision by the majority of those on the Station. It was Jake's first realization just how crude and how cruel people can be. He and Salene had first met shortly after Nog had gone to the Academy, and Jake had become quite infatuated with the Vulcan youth during his month's stay on the station during Bajor's music festival.

Then eight months later, while Jake was at his grandfather's in New Orleans recovering from his ordeal at Ajilon Prime, they had met again. That meeting was as violent as the hurricane that swept through the city. Fears, intolerance, innocence, traditions, they all combined to set up barriers between the two sensitive artists from such different cultures. Still, in the end, they had known a unique love for each other, a love based on sexual urges as well as feelings for each other, feelings that only men can know for each other. They were lovers, but it was not to be forever. Salene was gone now too, back Vulcan, back to duty and obligations, and he was here, back on Deep Space Nine, back to guilt and self-pity.

Three lovers, and he was still alone. Turning off his writing pad, Jake got up and had a shower. He was a tall, boney youth at 18, still all arms and legs and still skinny despite his grandfather's attempts to put some meat on his bones. He kept his hair cut close to his scalp and had little hair on the rest of his body. He ran his hands over his smooth chest and over his ribs and he thought of the caresses he had shared with the other boys in his life. Standing at a hundred and eighty-five centimeters, he was taller than his father now, but at sixty-five kilos you could still see his ribs. He ran his hands on down over his smooth thighs and then soaped up his genitals, his dick responding immediately to his touch. As he felt it begin to swell and the skin begin to slide back off the knob, he was tempted to jerk it off, but decided not to. Maybe later, in bed.

He put on a pair of black dress slacks, a purple silk shirt all the way from New Orleans from his grandfather, and a white Andorian vest made from a wool that was even tighter and springier than the hair on his head. His dad was working and he did not feel like making his own supper. He felt like something Bajoran.

He smiled as he headed for the Crystal Cafe, the Bajoran restaurant next to Quarks. He wondered if his impulse for Bajoran food had anything to do with the Bajoran youth he had seen at the shrink's office that afternoon. Normally Counselor Hojia scheduled patients sufficiently apart so they never saw each other, but Jake had persisted in arguing and had refused to leave when his time was up, and the Bajorans, true to their culture, had arrived punctually.

He remembered the look on the boy's face when Jake burst out of the office. Sitting there on the sofa with his hands primly in his lap and his limbs drawn close to his body as if he was drawing into his shell, the boy's eyes popped open wide and his jaw dropped down. Clearly a mild, quiet youth, he was evidently awed speechless as this loud, violent, Afro-American teen burst out of the door, his eyes flashing with anger and his long arms flailing in frustration. His parents, assuming that was the relationship of the two adults with him, looked even more shocked. The mother looked like she was about to fling herself in front of the boy to protect him.

Jake wondered why the boy was there. He looked to be about Jake's age, around eighteen, and he was really quite cute, now that Jake thought more about him. Perhaps Jake could help him with whatever his personal problem was. A nice bottle of wine, a roaring fire in the fireplace, the two of them snuggled on the sofa, his hands running through the boy's thick, soft- looking hair, the boy with his hands resting in Jake's lap. . . . Jake smiled and decided he had better think of something else before it became difficult to walk.

Taking his seat at the cafe, he ordered hasperat and Jumja tea. A few minutes later, the object of his recent thoughts and the two adults were seated opposite him. Jake smiled. Now that was a lucky coincidence. The three of them did not look happy. That was wrong. One thing his father, and his grandfather, insisted was when one sat down at the table to eat, they left behind their worries and troubles. They were right. A lot of indigestion could be avoided if everyone followed that simple advice. So could a lot of arguments.

Throughout the meal, Jake could not help checking the boy out. A hundred-and-eighty- eight centimeters tall, fifty-nine kilos, dark brown hair, moderately long and combed in a bang over his forehead and over the tops of his ears, thin sensuous lips presently in a frown, a cute nose with the Bajoran folds, and dark brown eyes. Ah, such eyes, even with the dark seriousness at the moment they radiated a sexuality that caused a quiver in Jake's trousers. Yes, he could very definitely enjoy a night in bed with this boy. He could definitely offer him something that Counselor Hojia could not.

Throughout the meal, Jake noticed that he was similarly being checked out. Was it because he was the only young man in the restaurant, and one of the few on the station? Was it because he was black? Could it be because the Bajoran boy found him attractive? That possibility finished off the steady swelling that had been occurring in his trousers. His physical arousal now complete, his eight inches of hard cock burned across his stomach in a most uncomfortable, and most evident, position. Jake moved in closer to the table and reached down to rearrange things into a more comfortable position but then stopped. What the hell Jake figured, he had nothing to lose. He shifted in his chair as he pushed it back, trying to make his condition more evident rather than trying to hide it as he normally would have.

The next time they made eye contact, instead of glancing away, Jake maintained it. So did the boy. A smile crossed the boy's lips and Jake responded with an open grin. He knew his wide, thick lips were an asset. Jake assumed the boy's smile was because they had caught each other looking, but he could not help but fantasize that the smile was because the boy had seen the bulge in his trousers. What an extraordinary stroke of luck it would be if the boy was gay, or at least bi. Throughout the rest of the meal Jake's mind was on how he could make contact with the boy, and what they might do if his suspicions were right. Jake smiled and chocked that fantasy up to his active writer's imagination, but part of him knew it was a simple matter of being horny. Jake waited until the family rose to leave, and then he did likewise, "accidently" arriving at the cashier at the same time.

"Hi," he greeted, extending his hand. "I'm Jake Sisko."

"Nolar," said the youth.

'Go far,' Jake said to himself silently, associating the boy's name with a rhyme, a mnemonic trick he had learned from his dad to help remember names and people. It also reflected his wishful thinking. Nolar's hand was delicate and soft and Jake found himself wondering if the rest of his body was like that.

"Sisko?" asked the elder Bajoran. "The Emissary's son?"

"The one and only," Jake replied with a grin. He was used to that question.

"We are honored," the man said, and he and the woman bowed reverently. Nolar glanced at them and then at Jake, and quickly gave a bit of a bob. As his face began to flush, Jake knew they were going to get along.

"So, are you on DS9 for business? Pleasure?"

The mood immediately changed as the two adults glanced at each other. Nolar glanced down at the floor uncomfortably.

"Personal," said the man.

"Ah," said Jake, realizing he had entered sensitive territory. "I wasn't meaning to pry."

"That's all right."

Despite all the faults he had listed in his journal entry, he did have strengths, and knowing people and being able to read them was one of them. Whatever that personal reason was, it was not something pleasant. "Reason I ask," he said quickly, "I was wondering if you would like a tour of the station or anything." Although he made it as a general invitation, he was looking at Nolar.

"We thank you for your offer," the man said, "but I think we have seen what we need to see."

"I haven't," Nolar said softly, evidently not wishing to contradict the man from the tone in his voice and the look of fear in his eyes as he stared at the floor.

"We are not here for sight seeing," the man said sharply.

"Perhaps a break for Nolar would be good," suggested the woman softly, evidently also not wanting to cross the man but having the courage to look him in the face. "Especially with the son of the Emissary." She said that in a strange way, almost as if he was a doctor or something.

The father, if that was the relationship, thought for a moment. "Perhaps you are right." Bajorans were not telepathic, but at the moment Jake had the impression that the two adults were in secret communication.

"We can go now, or in the morning," Jake offered to the youth.

"In the morning," the father answered for him.

Jake was disappointed, but he could live with that. He went directly home. So wrapped up in his thoughts about Nolar, he did not even notice until he arrived at the quarters he and his dad shared. The young writer worked a bit on a new story he was writing, Oreo, but he could not concentrate. He decided to turn in, but he did not sleep well. His mind was on Nolar, and what he could do or show him tomorrow that would impress him (besides his cock of course thought Jake's subconscious mind). Damn, he had been so engrossed in his thoughts he had forgotten to jack off.

The next morning Jake set out half a dozen clothes before he finally made his choice. He wanted to impress Nolar with his taste and he wanted something that would disguise his height and gangly limbs. At the same time, he did not want to appear pretentious. As he headed over to the apartment Nolar and his family were staying in, he twice almost turned around and headed back to his apartment to change. Fortunately the two apartments were not farther apart.

Nolar's mother greeted him at the door and invited him in, saying her son would be with him in a moment. Minutes later Nolar and his father entered. They had evidently been having a serious conversation from the looks on their faces, and not an altogether pleasant one either. The two adults again talked to and treated Jake like he was some sort of god, which in a sense considering his father's position, he was. He was relieved when Nolar suggested they had better be going if they were going to make the best of the day.

"Your folks seem very nice," Jake observed, making small talk and leaping to the conclusion that was their relationship.

"Yeah, they mean well."

"All that bowing and stuff is a bit embarrassing though."

"Your father is the most important individual on Bajor."

"Yeah, I know, but it's still embarrassing."

"Perhaps I should be walking a step behind you, Son of the Emissary," Nolar said with a slight smile.

"Don't you dare start anything like that," Jake replied, returning the grin. He had not smiled in a long time, and it felt good.

"So, I suppose first on the itinerary is the wormhole?"

"But of course."

The day went by with surprising speed. Before Jake knew it, they were back at Nolar's apartment saying good night and making arrangements for the next day. Returning to his own apartment, Jake treated himself with a root beer and cheeseburger for a late night snack. He wrote on his novel, Oreo, for a while, and then allowed himself a second treat, one that he had not been in the mood for ever since he'd returned to Deep Space Nine three weeks ago. Slipping off his robe and pushing down his pajama bottoms, he lay back on his bed and thought about Nolar. He had worn the typical baggy trousers in style at the moment, and a very colorful and beautiful tunic that extended mid-thigh. A gold and silver cross-stitch trimmed the pale tan tunic with an intricate pattern of whorls and foreign symbols. He had cut a very handsome figure.

He pictured Nolar's first glance over at him when he and his father had entered the room, his face serious and apprehensive, probably worried about making a good first impression also. Jake's fingers strayed down to his crotch and he fondled his slightly damp balls and then drew his fingers to his nose and sniffed. He had gotten close to Nolar numerous times during the day, all of them intentional, and each time he inhaled his heavily musk-scented cologne he ached with the desire to embrace him and kiss him. He wondered what Nolar's genital sweat smelt like.

As he reached back down, he pictured Nolar's face, its roundness accented by the style of his thick brown hair combed in a bang over his forehead and down over the tops of his ears. He was wearing a comparatively short diamide-laced birithium earring in his right ear compared to many Bajoran earrings he had seen. The length somehow seemed appropriate. Jake was tempted to have his ear pierced, and he tried to picture himself with a gold stud in his earlobe. It would look sharp.

Jake gently slid his fingers up and down his swelling flesh. Like his father he was circumcised. According to his father, Bajoran's were born naturally without a foreskin. He wondered if that was true, and if he would have an opportunity to verify that. There were various ways that might happen, and selecting one of his favorite fantasies, he pictured Nolar and himself having a picnic in the holosuite. It would be a stifling hot day, with a clear, fresh pool beckoning them nearby. Of course they would not have thought to bring swim suits.

Jake imagined the two of them disrobing as he began to work his fist slowly up and down his now fully aroused organ. It had been four years since he had first been taught that solitary pleasure by Nog, and he had practiced it many times since. Even back then he had been well- hung, and at five-and-a-half inches had been an inch-and-a-half longer than his buddy Nog. Now standing at eight inches with a two-inch diameter, he knew he was larger than the average human. Jake tried to imagine the look on Nolar's face as in his fantasy he dropped his underwear and revealed his manhood. He tried to imagine what Nolar's might look like. He had never seen a Bajoran cock, but considering their similar anatomy, he figured it would be much the same as a human's.

Grasping the base of his rock-hard organ, Jake slowly slid his fingers up, keeping his grip loose and just barely touching his aching flesh. It throbbed and itched and he fought the temptation to grasp it and work off a load. He could only tease himself for so long however. His need was too great. Finally grasping his prick more firmly, he eased his hand up, drawing his skin up the shaft and over the knob. He paused below the knob and then reversed, easing his hand down and drawing the skin back along with it. He closed his eyes and pictured himself and Nolar laying there on the grass slowly wanking each other. Once again he ran his fingers over his sweaty balls and then sniffed them. Each male he had been with had a different odor. Nog had been spicy, not unlike Cajun chicken. Gowran had reminded him of a wild stag, and Salene had a mildness that was almost imperceptible. He wondered what Nolar would be like.

Jake's thick, black cock was throbbing now, demanding his attention. Jake squeezed tightly under the knob, fighting the impulse to continue jerking. When he once again had gained his composure, he gave that throbbing tube of flesh, that black leech as Nog had once called it, his full attention. He worked his fist slowly up and down the entire eight inches, and closed his eyes at the joy his stroking brought. The tingling, prickling sensation about the glans slowly spread over his solid meat until his cock was throbbing with each rapid heart beat. He felt himself drawing closer to his climax and he licked his lips and tried not to breathe too loudly. His father would never come in his room without knocking, but now would be a most inopportune time to interrupt him.

Jake's chest began to heave and his hips gyrated uncontrollably, urging his hand to speed up. Jake refused to give in. His hand slowly and rhythmically pumped until he could hold back no longer. It had been three weeks since he had ejaculated, and his pent up sperm shot out of his organ and struck his heaving, panting chest. The first shot was quickly followed by a second and a third of equal force. The fourth and fifth landed on his stomach, and the remainder throbbed out and down over his stiff cock and his tightly gripping fingers. It was good, very good. Jake lay there for a long time, enjoying the memory of his climax, thinking of the boys he had enjoyed having sex with. He fell into a blissful, contented sleep, spread out on his bed naked with his cumm drying on his body.

Jake called on Nolar early the next morning for more sightseeing, and they spent the entire day until late in the evening together. That night Jake fought off the temptation to jack off in the hopes that the next night he and Nolar might get it on.

They spent every waking moment of the next two days together, and with each day Jake was getting hornier. As they viewed the never tiring marvel of the wormhole, he wanted to reach over and embrace the young Bajoran. As they sat at Quarks or the Crystal Cafe and talked about their dreams he was tempted to reach out and take his hand. Just being with him was so wonderful, touching him physically would have to be otherworldly.

Nolar certainly was enjoying Jake's company, and also seemed to be interested in doing more than just talking. There were many times Jake caught Nolar looking at him wistfully. At first Jake had thought it admiration, because of his position as the son of the Emissary, or just because of all the opportunities he had here at Deep Space Nine. Showing Nolar around the station had brought that fact out to him, and helped him get over the funk he was in over what had happened at Ajilon Prime and the sudden departure of Salene. He did have a lot of opportunity here, and he was fortunate in the friends that he had even though most were much older than himself.

Jake soon dismissed the idea of admiration or envy. Nolar had a lot going for him too. Although the Bajorans had abandoned the strict caste system they were originally organized in, certain occupations and family names still carried prestige, and Nolar's family was one of those. His father was a member of the Chamber of Ministers. That meant he had the influence and the money that would open doors for his son too, just as Jake's dad's position on the station. Of course Benjamin Sisko would never use his position that way, and Jake had a feeling that Nolar's dad would not either.

Anyway, Nolar's dad certainly did not have to. Nolar had a personality and a charm that would take him far in life, friendly almost to the point of flattery, kindhearted to the core, gentle as a kitten, and so easy to talk to Jake could talk for hours, and often did. At least he was like that most of the time. There were other times when they would be talking and all of a sudden he would clam up and say nothing, or get this look of profound sadness, or get surly and make sharp, bitter comments that were so atypical of him. It would only last for a few minutes, and then he would be all apologetic and falling over himself to make amends. Jake tried to figure out what it was that set him off like that, but he could find no pattern in events nor anything that he might have said. He wondered if these sudden and unpredictable mood swings was why he was seeing Counselor Hojia. Maybe he was one of these split personality types.

Then Jake had thought maybe those looks were appreciation because of his hospitality and eagerness to please Nolar, but he dismissed that too. He had never met anyone who was as hospitable and eager to please as was Nolar himself. Of course he thought the looks could be lust, but that was wishful thinking. If it were only possible that the cute young man was gay too! They could have such a fantastic time together. On more than one occasion Nolar had interrupted his thoughts and asked him what he was smiling about. If he could only tell him!

On the next day, Jake and Nolar visited the station's hololibrary. They began with Jake showing Nolar some of the famous scenes from Earth, the Federation Academy of course, and the Interplanetary Alliance Building, Niagra Falls, and Mount Everest. Nolar in turn showed Jake some of the more noted places on Bajor, at least as they had appeared before the Occupation. Most of them, like the Jalanda Forum, now were destroyed. He showed Jake some of the famous paintings from the State Museum in Ilvia, and Jake in turn showed Nolar those from the Museum in Venice. Feeling daring, he called up one of his favorites from the San Francisco Museum, "The Lovers", two young men in a passionate embrace from the 1990's, their lips just barely touching.

"Is that your father's idea, or mine?" Nolar asked coldly.

"What?"

"That particular piece of art. Very cute. Very sly."

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind. I just didn't expect it of you," Nolar said sharply as he got up and headed for the door.

"Nolar-."

Jake chased after him. "Nolar, wait, what's wrong?"

Catching up to him, Jake grabbed him by the shoulder to stop him. Nolar spun around, and the look of pure anger in his eyes shocked Jake. As Nolar spun back around and stomped off, Jake knew better than to chase after him. He returned to the library and called up the picture again. There was only one thing that he could possibly find that another might consider offensive, and that was that it was two men kissing and not members of the opposite sex. Was that it? Did Nolar find such an idea so offensive as to set him off like that? Jake felt a knot in his stomach. That would be so sad if Nolar was so repulsed by something he found so stimulating. And if it was so, what were the accusations about his father or Nolar's father having something to do with it all about?

Jake called up the section on Bajoran culture and spent the rest of the afternoon researching, trying to find an answer. As to be expected, the area he was most interested in, Bajoran sexuality, was next to nonexistent. A few pages on marriage customs, including the gifts of Pledge Bracelets and Betrothal Bracelets, and an entire section on the matriarchal structure of their society, but that was all. The only thing of interest to come out of his research was the discovery that it was common and quite acceptable for couples to continue their relationship without formal or legal marriage, something quite frowned upon still by Earth standards. He could find nothing about same sex beliefs.

Nolar would not speak to him nor return his calls that evening, nor all of the next day. So it was with some surprise, and relief, that he had the call from Nolar the following afternoon inviting him out to dinner. Jake chose the same outfit that he had been wearing the day that they had met, hoping that somehow it might have some effect on the outcome of the supper. He noticed that Nolar was also wearing the same clothes he had been wearing that night also, dark blue slacks and a dark blue tunic with a lovely embroidered design of leaves and bright red and orange flowers and a border of intertwined stems. Could it be Nolar had the same superstitious thought as he had had?

"Order whatever you wish. It is on me," Nolar offered.

"Thanks. What is the occasion?"

"My stupidity, and my apology for my outburst in the hololibrary."

"Hey, no need to apologize."

"There is, and you know it. Don't be nice."

"All right, for a meal out, I won't be nice," Jake replied with a grin. "You are the expert. What would you recommend?"

"Vekliva, and springwine," Nolar replied without a moment's hesitation. "Unless of course you would prefer a nonalcoholic drink," he added quickly.

"No, for tonight, I think springwine would be great," Jake said with a smile, and when Nolar smiled back he wanted to bend over the table and kiss him.

He also wanted to ask what had happened, but decided it best not to pursue the issue. The vekliva proved to be an even greater delicacy than hasperat, and the wine was delicate and mild. During the meal two Chrysalian traders were seated several tables away. They evidently had been drinking something much stronger than springwine, and evidently had too much of it to drink. Their boorish behavior was an irritant, but the two boys did their best to ignore them. However, when they began to come on to the young Antican serving girl while the boys were trying to decide on an appropriate desert, they could take it no longer. When the one grabbed her and drew her down on his lap and tried to kiss her, the two boys glanced at each other and rose as one.

"She said she wanted you to leave her alone," Jake said coldly.

The Chrysalian glanced way from the girl's bosom, a moment of hesitation and fear at being addressed in such an authoritarian way. He glanced first at Jake, and then at Nolar. Jake was taller than himself, but he was skinny and half his age, barely out of childhood. The Bajoran was just as young and thin, and had an effeminate way about him. A smile slowly curled the Chrysalian's lips.

"You and your friend offering to take her place?"

His friend guffawed at the joke.

"We're offering you a chance to leave with some dignity."

"You think the two of you can take us on?" he asked with a sneer.

"Step out in the corridor and find out."

"We'll be right back," the Chrysalian said to the serving girl as he released her, pinching her bottom as she escaped.

As Jake and Nolar headed out behind the two hulking Chrysalians, there was no doubt in their minds that they were doing the right thing. However, doing the right thing and being able to enforce it were two different matters. Visions of Ajilon Prime came to Jake's mind but he quickly dismissed them. This was nothing like he had seen there. This was two obnoxious hulking traders. They were probably mostly fat under those uniforms anyway.

The four paired off and began to circle each other. The Chrysalians, being drunk and overconfident, struck first. The two boys easily dodged them, but even though they were more agile and alert, the two boys had difficulty catching the Chrysalians off guard. The traders had plenty of experience in street fighting. One of the Chrysalians made first contact, landing a solid blow to Nolar's ribs that sent a shock of pain through his body. All four managed to lay solid body punches and kicks to the shins over the next five minutes until Nolar finally succeeded in delivering a lucky blow to the temple and cold-cocking his opponent. Momentarily distracted, the other Chrysalian left himself open to a groin kick and a Karate chop to the neck by Jake.

The two boys stepped back and surveyed the two prone opponents, and then glanced at each other. Jake held out his hand palm up, and when Nolar looked at him quizzically and extended his, Jake slapped it and then turned his hand over. Nolar grinned and slapped his back. Weak and aching, Jake slipped an arm around Nolar's waist. Nolar similarly slipped his around Jake's for support. Despite their pain, a rush passed through each boy with the contact and they held each other tighter.

"Want to go back for desert?" Jake asked with a slight smile.

"No," Nolar replied, wiping the blood from his still dripping nose and returning the smile. "I've sort of lost my appetite."

Jake's father not being home, Jake suggested they go to his apartment to clean up. Nolar readily agreed, commenting that his parents would hit the ceiling if they saw the condition he was in.

While Jake filled the sink with hot water and took out extra wash cloths and towels, Nolar removed his tunic and shirt. Jake immediately forgot his pain as he admired the youth's trim, tanned body. Seven centimeters shorter than himself, and six kilograms lighter, he was really not that much different in build. His skin was smooth and soft looking, the big bluish-purple bruise on his ribs and the slash across his collar bone looking far worse on his slim, tender-looking body than they actually were. He had no chest hair, but had tufts of fine, dark brown hair under his pits. His nipples were small, dime-shaped little discs of a darker brown than his tanned skin. Jake found himself wondering if he had the same number of ribs as humans, and if he'd have the opportunity to count them.

Jake slipped off his vest and removed his shirt first on purpose before looking in the bathroom cabinet for disinfectant for their wounds to give Nolar a chance to observe his torso if he were so inclined. Nolar was so inclined, and was fascinated by the dark black, smooth looking body, and pleased that he was not the only one so thin as to have his ribs showing. He noticed the lack of hair also, like himself, and unlike himself, the huge nipples. He found himself wondering if the bruise on Jake's shoulder would interfere with his lovemaking, and he immediately began to blush even though there was no way for Jake to have known his thoughts.

The boys washed off their cuts and abrasions and applied the antiseptic. Jake suggested they put their clothes in the wash to remove the blood. Retrieving his robe from his bedroom and a spare one for Nolar, Jake removed his socks and trousers. He wanted to glance over and check out the young Bajoran as he did likewise, but in the confined space of the bathroom that would be too obvious. Besides, he was having great difficulty keeping his cock down as it was. The sight of Nolar in just his underwear would surely be his undoing. Placing the clothes in the wash, they retired to Jake's bedroom.

"You have some pretty nasty bruises," Jake observed, looking at Nolar's shins.

"So do you."

"Yeah, well, those two Chrysalians have it even worse."

"Yeah, that was some fight!" Nolar grinned, quite satisfied with his accomplishment.

"Yeah, it was," Jake agreed with a similar grin, pleased with himself also.

"You know what we need?"

"No."

"I'll be right back."

Nolar returned in a few moments with a steaming tea pot and two small cups. He poured the tea into the two cups, and then raising his and motioning Jake to do like wise, he said, "To our victory tonight, and to our future. May the Prophets guide us."

"May the Prophets guide us," agreed Jake. He took a sip of the hot brew and immediately felt a warmth pass through his body. "Mmm, what is this?"

"It is a special Bajoran tea, a spiritual drink. It is made from prilo leaves which gives it the spicy taste, manrev leaves to sweeten it, and pirta herbs."

"Which are for?"

"Purely symbolic," Nolar said with a smile. That sweet smile made Jake feel even warmer than the tea. His cock twitched with desire.

The two boys sat there in Jake's bedroom sipping the tea in silence, each lost in his own thoughts, but unbeknown to the other, each having very similar ones. The pain from their cuts and bruises gradually subsided and was replaced by an arousal in their groins, and with each thought and each furtive glance at each other that arousal grew. At first they were embarrassed and tried to fight it, but it felt so good, the two quickly gave in to their baser instincts and allowed it to happen. They finally looked into each other's eyes, and the rush each was feeling was evident. They glanced away but their thoughts lingered. Hesitantly, they glanced at each other again.

"You feeling better?" Nolar asked.

"Yeah, much better."

They both paused, afraid to ask the next question.

"This tea has remarkable healing powers," Jake observed. "If it is not marketed, it should be."

"I think what we are feeling is much more than the result of the tea," Nolar dared to hint.

"And more than the adrenalin from beating those two morons," Jake observed, carrying the hint a step farther.

"Yes. I believe in your language it is called testosterone."

"That is a sex hormone," Jake said with a smile as his mind wondered how he could use that slip in nomenclature to his advantage and wondering what Nolar had meant to name.

"Yes, I know," Nolar replied with a sheepish grin.

Jake glanced up at Nolar and as their eyes met there was no further need for hints, no further need for strategy. The desire each was feeling was evident in each other's eyes. Jake bent forward and Nolar raised his head to meet him. Their lips touched softly and parted, and then returned to touch softly again. Their arms slipped about each other. Their lips met again, more forcefully. Their robes slipped off but neither was embarrassed. They kissed and embraced again. Jake jerked as Nolar touched his shoulder.

"Sorry."

"That's all right."

"I don't know if we're going to be able to do this," Nolar said hesitantly.

"You're not going to be able to stop me now," Jake said with a smile.

Nolar smiled back and Jake felt like melting. "I'm glad to hear that, because I'm too hot for you to stop me too."

Their lips met again, softly, tenderly, but with a confidence that was not there before. Fingertips caressed soft skin, brown on black, black on brown, careful to avoid the bruised areas. Their breaths became heavier as their fingers explored each other's body, gently caressing smooth pecs and biceps, running over smooth, hairless chests and down slender sides. They caressed each other for the longest time, as if afraid to go any further. Finally Nolar slipped his fingers under the elastic band of Jake's boxers. Jake stood and allowed Nolar to ease his underwear down, revealing his hard, thick black cock in all its glory. It stood tall and proud, eight inches of hot boy cock pointing up in the air, the skin pealed back and revealing his massive mushroom-shaped knob.

Having Nolar stand, Jake similarly removed his tight briefs. He was erect also, his tan- colored cock standing straight out at a right angle. It was almost seven inches and only slightly more slender than Jake's. Ben Sisko had been right about Bajorans. Nolar had no foreskin. The knob was only slightly thicker than his shaft and was more elongated than a human's, and lacking the pronounced ridge that marked Jake's glans from the stem, it seemed to curve naturally from the stem much like an uncut cock does. His testicles were huge, the size and color of Bajoran plums, and covered with dark hairs.

The two boys lay back down on the bed and continued to caress and kiss, taking their time, allowing their emotions and desires to slowly climb, and fighting the urge to culminate what they had been desiring this past week. They ran fingers over soft, hairless chests, delighting in the soft, silk-like skin, and up solid, muscular thighs, delighting in their masculinity and strength. Finally they explored each other's organs. Long black fingers gently ran up the solid tan cock, tracing its delicate curvature. Long, slender tan fingers traced the thick vein under the black cock, following it up the massive shaft, and then discovered the sensitivity of the curious ridge that suddenly jutted out from the shaft.

Delicately, reverently, the fingers worshiped the solid, throbbing flesh, and each boy trembled with the other's touch. Finally the tan fingers wrapped about the base of the black rod and the black fingers wrapped about the base of the tan one. Slowly the two hands began to slowly pump while the two boys continued to lay side by side and kiss. Slowly their hearts began to pump faster and their breaths became deeper as their need grew. Jake was tempted to suggest they do something else, perhaps sixty-nine, but he figured to leave well enough alone. What they were doing felt wonderful, and he did not want to break the mood. Evidently nor did Nolar.

Jake closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation. His cock throbbed with each pulse of his heart, with each tug of Nolar's hand. The knob was burning with a painful pleasure that sent ripples through the swollen flesh each time Nolar's hand slid up and over it. No matter how many times someone had done this to him, the feeling was undescribable. Having another boy stroking his hot, throbbing cock, having another's hands on that special part of him was the closest two non-Vulcans could come to a mind meld. He tightened his grip on Nolar's hot, hard prick. Being accorded the privilege of stroking another boy's cock was the greatest gift one boy could give another.

Nolar was feeling much the same. The physical stimulation was overpowering no matter how many times he had felt it in the past, and having that stimulation caused by another's hand made it all that much better. Only a man can know the sensations that pass through his manhood at that moment, and only another man can truly share that experience. Certainly a man and woman can know sexual arousal and pleasure, but only a man can truly know how another man feels at a time like this. Only another man can appreciate the sweet pain that ripples through a swollen dickhead, a pain that on one hand the body aches to see end, but at the same time desires to continue forever.

His was coming to an end, and although he wanted it to last longer, and he knew they could delay the end for a while yet, he knew that he didn't have the will power to postpone it. As the desire welled up in his loins and the tension doubled with each of Jake's strokes on his piston, he gasped in the lust-scented air and whimpered. His heart was beating madly and his breath came in short gasps as his mind screamed for his hips to assist. He fought back that desire, wishing his climax to be brought totally by this hot, black stud that had befriended him.

"I'm about to ejaculate," Nolar gasped.

"Me too."

"Any second," he warned, the urgency in his voice causing it to crack.

"Let it."

Relieved that Jake did not want to break the tension that had been built up, Nolar closed his eyes and cried out. His hot, aching cock throbbed violently and his semen spurted out. Jake came immediately afterward so that it would have been difficult for an observer to say who was first. The two boys lay there on the bed side by side facing each other as their cocks throbbed out their fluids. Thick, white juice squirted against their chests and bellies, black and tan. Their hot, sticky boy juices erupted from their pricks like miniature volcanoes, the flow finally subsiding and running down their cocks and over their partner's fingers.

They lay for a long time afterward, relishing the feel of hot spent cum on their bodies. Their sticky fingers interlocked, mixing their cum, the slimy boy juice from human and Bajoran merging and becoming one, bonding the two young hot studs. Their lips met in a warm kiss, quickly followed by many others as they embraced, as their naked bodies pressed together, sealed by their spilt cum. Later they lay back in each other's arms and enjoyed the contentment that follows passionate sex.

"Our clothes should be done by now," Jake finally announced at least an hour later.

"I guess we should get dressed then," Nolar said sadly.

"I guess," Jake replied, feeling just as reluctant. "You want to shower?"

"Yes," Nolar said. "I'd rather leave your seed on my body so I can sleep tonight with the aroma in my nostrils, but I'm afraid my father's sense of smell is even better than mine."

"So, you're afraid he'll smell it and want some for himself?"

"Yeah," laughed Nolar. "Something like that."

It was a nervous, insincere laugh. Both boys knew the real reason, but they both chose to ignore the truth. It was much easier to make a joke of it. The two boys squeezed into the shower together. Jake lathered up his hands and ran his soapy fingers over Nolar's shoulders and chest. Nolar did the same to Jake. The unique smell of fresh semen was gradually replaced by the fresh smell of lilac-scented soap. Jake turned his back and sighed with pleasure as Nolar's soapy hands massaged his sore muscles, and he sighed with pleasure as he felt the feather-light touch of his fingers on his buttocks and the firmer caress as the soapy fingers passed up the crack of his ass. Nolar then turned and Jake did the same to him. The shower could have lead to other things, but their earlier lovemaking had been so complete and so satisfying, that the shower was a tender sharing of a bath between two good friends, nothing more.

"I'll walk you to your apartment."

"There is no need."

"I want to."

"We'll see each other tomorrow?"

"Couldn't stop me."

"Perhaps there is some place private where we can spend some time?"

"Trust me. I know many private places."

Nolar agreed to being escorted back to his apartment half way. As Jake returned to the apartment he shared with his dad and lay in his bed that night, he thought about what had happened. It had felt wonderful, and mysteriously, so much different from the other times he'd been with a guy. It was amazing how sex with each person was so markedly different. With Nolar it had been the most special of all. Jake could not explain it, other than that it was milder, gentler, what one would expect from two lovers, and yet it had been intense also, just as intense with any of the others.

They saw each other the next day and spent the entire day together, and the day after that. Jake made sure some of that time was spent in private, rather it be an out of the way storage room where he and Nog used to go to jack off, or an unoccupied conference room where they could just talk openly. When alone they kissed and caressed, and held hands and talked about how they felt toward each other, but they went no further. It was enough to just be held and to have someone to talk to about things you could not talk to anyone else about.

On the third evening, their tenth day together, Jake rented a holosuite from Quark and ran one of several programs of New Orleans he and his father had made for their personal use. This one featured a restaurant overlooking the Mississippi river at sunset. As they sat on the patio looking out at the river, they were served a supper of old fashioned New Orleans food, not something from the replicator, but something that Jake had cooked himself and brought to the holosuite just before calling on Nolar.

They began with long loaves of hot, crusty French bread, so crusty they could not avoid leaving a mess of crumbs on the table cloth. That was followed by an appetizer of potato strips filled with souffle potatoes, and then a cup of dark brown, thick Creole turtle soup, with little round yellow crumbly turtle eggs floating in among the turtle meat, garlic, onions, and celery. Baked oysters on the half shell, the sweet meat covered with a spicy rich green sauce, followed the soup. For the main course, Jake had prepared a crisp green salad and Creole chicken Rochambeau, served on a Holland rusk and covered with a slice of salty ham and a sweet, spicy sauce containing shallots. The sweet sauteed chicken sat in a lemony bearnaise sauce, contrasting sharply with the first sauce. For desert, they had light, crisp crepes browned and spread with red currant jelly and then rolled and sprinkled with powdered sugar.

Afterward they walked along the Mississippi and found a secluded spot where they snuggled in each other's arms. Of course they kissed and caressed, and once they began, their pent up desires burst forth like water from a dam. Once released there was no stopping it. Nolar opened Jake's shirt and worked his lips over the ebony skin of the eighteen-year-old, over his smooth chest and the large, full nipples. Jake similarly opened Nolar's tunic and shirt and smothered Nolar's chest with kisses. He fastened his lips to one of the small teats and sucked on it, enjoying the way it became firm between his lips. Hands eagerly pulled down each other's trousers and then each other's underwear. Both boys were erect. Jake's fingers immediately wrapped around Nolar's thick, throbbing cock, and Nolar similarly wrapped his fingers about Jake's throbbing organ. They caressed and stroked each other, bringing each other to the peak, but stopping there.

"I wish I had thought to bring lubricant," Nolar sighed.

Jake reached for his trousers, and after fishing around for a moment, pulled out the tube that he had purchased three days earlier.

"You just happen to carry that wherever you go?" Nolar asked with a smile.

"A good boy scout is always prepared," replied Jake with a grin of equal size.

"A boy scout?"

"I'll explain some time," Jake commented as he opened the tube.

Nolar rolled over on his stomach in the fresh grass, and Jake applied the lube to his anus, coating his butthole and slipping lube into it with his finger tip. Scooping up a generous glob on his fingertip, he gently slid his index finger up Nolar's rectum, and the Bajoran squirmed with the sensation. He was more than a bit apprehensive about being penetrated by Jake's huge organ, but he had decided that was the act he wanted, and he was prepared mentally to accept it no matter how difficult it might prove to be.

Jake slipped more lube into Nolar's hole, and then generously applied lube to his cock. Nolar spread his legs and Jake knelt between them and bent over, his arms on either side of Nolar's chest. He aimed his black rod for the lubed hole and finding the opening, he placed the tip of his massive organ at the entrance. He pushed forward slowly and felt Nolar relax and open up to him. Ever so slowly he pushed forward, and ever so slowly he felt himself begin to enter Nolar's body. He knew this was going to be difficult given his size, and he went slowly, not wanting to hurt his lover.

Nolar did his best to relax, and as he felt Jake press forward he opened his anus and pushed out as if taking a shit in an effort to open his sphincter as wide as he could. It hurt, but the lube helped, and he was eager to accommodate the big Afro-American teen. He grunted with the strain as he forced his asshole open and as he felt the thick cockhead spread apart his sphincter. It took a while, and patience, but slowly he felt Jake's massive organ begin to enter, and once the thick knob cleared his sphincter, the shaft easily followed.

Ever so slowly Jake eased his hips forward, pausing and relaxing frequently, not just because he didn't want to hurt the tender lining of the boy he was penetrating, but also to keep control of his own emotions. After the effort it took to connect, he didn't want to be cumming too soon. As the hot, moist tunnel slowly enveloped his cock, keeping himself from cumming was no easy matter. Finally, he felt his testicles touching the smooth, hairless peritoneum of the lovely boy beneath him. He was totally buried.

He began to pump his hips to and fro slowly, working his cock in and out of Nolar's asshole. It felt so wonderful, so perfect, having his cock buried deep in his body. He closed his eyes as he humped the slender Bajoran boy, delighting in the tightness of his ass, marveling at its warmth and moistness. The physical feeling was wonderful, but even more wonderful was the mental satisfaction, the thought of the two of them fucking, the two of them working together to produce this wonderful feeling.

They were working together. Nolar squirmed and sighed beneath Jake, opening and closing his anus in time with the entry and withdrawal of the massive cock. It felt so wonderful having Jake's organ in his body, but even more wonderful was his heavy breathing and the lustful grunting as he worked his cock in and out of his asshole. They were fucking, the two of them were working together to create the most wonderful feeling that any man can experience. As he listened to Jake and felt his hot body press against his and then lift off, he knew exactly how Jake was feeling. He was feeling exactly the same way. Just as Jake was rapidly approaching his orgasm, so was he.

Jake began to speed up, unable to fight the temptation that demanded he satisfy the itch in his cockhead. He grasped Nolar's forearms as he thrust his body against his, banging his groin against the slimmer boy's butt, driving his burning cock in and out of his hot hole. He felt the twinge deep in his groin and he thrust forward and grasped Nolar tightly as he felt his sperm rise up the core of his cock and spurt out of the irritated tip. He trembled and gasped in ecstasy with his ejaculation, and at the same time Nolar trembled and whimpered with his own ejaculation, his semen gushing out of his body as he felt Jake's gushing into it. His hot juice shot up along his belly and his cock throbbed as it was pressed against the grass. Finally spent, the two boys lay there, Jake still embedded in Nolar, and they marveled at the force of their orgasms. Their panting breaths slowly quieted and their chests stopped heaving.

Jake finally withdrew his organ and rolled off Nolar and onto his back. Nolar rolled over and snuggled up to his hot, sweating body. Their lips met and they wrapped their arms about each other. Life was perfect, and neither wanted this moment to end.

"I thank the Prophets for the day we met," Nolar sighed.

"You think they had anything to do with that?"

"The Prophets have everything to do with everything. They control every moment of our lives."

"In that case, they just had one hell of fuck."

"It is dangerous to mock the Prophets," Nolar said guardedly.

"I wasn't mocking them," Jake quickly protested. "I'm just saying if they control everything we do, then what they just arranged to happen was fantastic."

"That I cannot argue with," Nolar agreed. He thought for a moment before continuing. "Do you not believe in Fate?"

"I don't know. I've never really thought about it."

"On Bajor we believe that the Prophets do not experience linear time as we do. The Prophets remember every finite detail of our pasts, and can see the future of all things. Their wisdom and insight based on the past and the future they send to us to guide us."

"The nine Orbs."

"Yes. The Orbs are to give us guidance over our lives as the Prophets replenish our paghs, our lifeforces."

"The ancient Greeks on Earth believed in a pagh too, except they called it moira. They saw each person as having an allotment, and a person could not escape the proportion of misfortune in his moira. According to them whatever happened was decreed to happen."

"And so we must resign ourselves to the course of events," Nolar observed. "But you do not believe that."

"No," Jake replied with a smile.

"Then how do you explain what has happened?"

"Chance."

"Chance?"

"Well, think about it. If I had not been hungry for Bajoran food and Dad had not been working late, I would not have gone to the Crystal Cafe. If I had eaten at home or gone to Quarks instead, we would never have met."

"So the fact that you and I met at the Crystal Cafe is just a matter of coincidence, not because the Prophets had preordained that we would meet on that night in that place."

"Just like the coincidence that we ate supper at the Crystal Cafe the same time the Chrysalian traders had decided to eat there. You would have me believe it was Fate that they had too much to drink and were seated near us, and that it was Fate that we got into the fight, and, well, ended up having sex."

"And you would have me believe the marvelous experience of jacking each other off that night was nothing more than the whim of chance. You would have me believe the Prophets have no control over what happens to us."

"Well, I would like to think I had some influence over what happened tonight."

"Yes," smiled Nolar, "we would all like to think we have some control over our life. Unfortunately, that is an illusion."

"Well, this night is one illusion I'm going to treasure," Jake said, running his fingers along Nolar's naked chest.

"And I."

The two boys kissed, a long, tender kiss of love. Jake's hand slipped down and caressed Nolar's damp testicles.

"Hey, we just finished making love."

"Yeah, well, serious talk always makes me horny," Jake responded with a grin.

Each day Jake got up the sun was shining, and each day was more perfect than the day before. Each night Jake went to bed exhausted and slept the sleep of the sexually satiated, he and Nolar having found some place to consummate their love for each other. They played Dabo, and Nolar taught Jake the finer skills of springball. When they were not making love, they talked, and they talked about almost everything. Jake told Nolar about his ambitions to be a great writer, and even shared with him the semi-autobiographical novel "Anselm" he was writing. Nolar similarly shared his desires to be a great landscape painter.

Despite all their openness and love and sharing, there were still things too deep to be shared. Jake accepted their sexual experiences, but when Nolar tried to talk about the deeper part of that experience, the reasons behind their love for each other, Jake would withdraw. He could accept what they were doing as long as he did not have to think about it, as long as he did not have to come to terms with what that meant.

Nolar had his secrets too, and sometimes he would suddenly become very pensive and at other times surly. Each time Jake would bring up the topic of his moodiness or ask what was bothering him, Nolar suddenly became close-lipped or outright angry.

"Oh fuck, that was so good," Jake said, drawing the naked body of his lover closer to him as he lay there in his bed, his now flaccid cock still damp and sticky from his lover's hole and his spilt seed. It was mid-afternoon and they had just finished making love for the second time that day.

"Yes," sighed Nolar. He inhaled deeply, as if about to say something, but never did.

"Yes, it was, but . . . "

"But what?"

"You were about to say but."

"No, I wasn't."

"Not aloud, but there was something you wanted to add, something that you don't feel is right. I can tell."

"You can tell?"

"I'm a writer, I'm supposed to be able to read people."

"I am not a book," Nolar retorted, more angry than Jake would have expected from such a simple comment.

"You do have troubles."

"So my father keeps telling me."

"Oh."

'Oh what?"

"I know things are not good between the two of you."

"You read that too?" Nolar asked testily.

"Yes."

"And you wish to know why."

"I wish to help," Jake commented. Fuck, Nolar could be such a bitch sometimes.

"You are the fifth 'healer' my father has sent me to."

"Healer? And what do you mean 'sent'? We supposedly met by Fate, didn't we?"

"Yes, of course we did, but my father would never have approved of us continuing a friendship had he not thought the son of the Emissary might cure his son."

"Cure him of what?"

"Of being a homosexual."

Jake stared at Nolar, not sure what to say. Flashes of serious conversations about homosexuality with Salene under similar circumstances crossed through his mind and he immediately blocked them out. Him and his damn big mouth. He did not want the same thing to happen between Nolar and himself as had happened between himself and Salene.

"The priests could not purify my pagh, but surely the son of the Emissary would be able to. Such was the hope of my father."

"Too bad you had not been here during the Gratitude Festival two years ago. With Lwaxana here we all had a good renewal of pagh," Jake observed, thinking of the Zanthi Fever that had given everyone the hots for a secret love, which in his case back then had been of all people, Julian Bashir. "Perhaps you could be here for the next festival. It's only three months away."

"It would take a mighty strong man to lift the scroll inscribed with all my problems and worries to be burnt in the ceremonial fire."

"I'd help you lift it."

"My parents wish you the same success right now," Nolar said bitterly.

"You going to tell me what is going on, or must I keep reading between the lines?" Jake asked, sensing Nolar was about to have another one of his clamming up moods.

Nolar thought for a long time. "Yes. It is time you knew. My father brought me here to see Counselor Hojia as a last resort to cure me of my homosexuality."

"Is this need for a cure his idea, or something more universal in your culture?"

"There I think we are similar to earth. The overall attitude in Bajoran culture is that same sex relationships are wrong. After all, we are an agrarian culture, where fertility is worshiped if not in the old ways, at least still in thought. The purpose of having a cock is to reproduce. And we are a matriarchal society. It would be unnatural for a man to want to be with another man rather than a woman."

"Some in my culture feel that homos are the result of dominant women."

"Ha, then all Bajorans should be homos," laughed Nolar. He thought for several minutes and Jake waited. He could tell how hard this was for the Bajoran youth. He knew how hard it would be for him. "And of course some fathers accept this, ah, condition, better than others."

"There again I suspect we are similar. My father would have difficulty accepting our relationship."

"I suspected as much, and that saddens me, for I cannot go forever without being open about what no, about who I am. Nor can you."

"Just when do you plan on this coming out?"

"Not to worry, Jake my friend, not so soon as to cause you any troubles or embarrassment."

"I did not mean that."

"I know you did not. You would brave even that for what we have togther at this moment."

"You got that fucking right."

"Considering my father's mission right now, it would not be wise to announce our feelings for each other. There is a Bajoran Proverb, 'Avoidance is better than confrontation'. I think it would be wise to follow that piece of wisdom for now."

"From what you have said, I suppose that is best." Jake thought for a moment. "So, how long has this been going on, between you and your father?"

"For over a year. We first went to see the top medical doctors to be sure there was no biological reason for my feelings. Then we went to see the local psychologists, and the priests, my father hoping there was some specific cause in my situation that could be identified, which would then, of course, mean a cure. When all that failed, we came here, hearing that the Federation had contacts with the top experts in all fields. So, I have been seeing your expert Counselor Hojia."

"And how is it going?"

"Not at all."

"It would be a bit strained talking about being gay with a female," Jake observed, having had those very concerns himself. He wondered if it was Fate, or chance, that had brought him and Nolar together.

"Yes, it is," Nolar agreed. "However, coming from a matriarchal society, my father saw no such problem."

"Well, if it's any consolation, my sessions with Hojia are not going well either."

"Why are you seeing her?"

Jake explained what had happened at Ajilon Prime, from the moment they had heard the distress calls for help in the Runabout to the moment they were lifted back off the planet. Somehow, talking to Nolar about it seemed so easy. The two boys sat side by side for the longest time saying nothing.

"We do have our problems ahead of us," Nolar finally said.

"That we do."

"For what it is worth, I do not find what you did cowardly, or something to be ashamed of. There is a Bajoran proverb, 'Fear and wisdom are brothers'. Besides, who can say how anyone will react until actually faced with battle?"

"True. Same could be said for sex."

"Right," Nolar said with a grin. He got up and went over to his clothes. He came back with a small box and handed it to Jake.

"What is this?"

"Open it."

Jake inhaled sharply at the sight of the exquisite bracelet. It was silver, and made of intricate interweaving vines and leaves.

"I was not sure when would be a good time to give this to you, but I think now is just as appropriate as any other. It is a Friendship Bracelet."

"Thanks," Jake said, putting it on. "It is super. But I have nothing to give you in return."

"You have given me much already. Your friendship, your support, and most important of all, your love."

"Still, there should be something." Jake suddenly got up and went to his dresser. Rummaging around in it and becoming angrier by the minute, he made the millionth note to himself that he had to be neater. He finally found what he was looking for and returned. "Put out your hand."

As Nolar extended his hand, Jake slipped a silver ring with a black diamond mounted on it on his index finger. It felt like it was an engagement ring, and in a sense, maybe it was.

"That is beautiful."

"It is a black diamond. The stone came from a broach my mother had. My dad had the stones removed and made into rings for each of us, and necklaces."

"This is of too much value for me to accept."

"Nonsense. I have the necklace, and I never have been much for rings. It is yours."

"I am honored."

The boys kissed and fell back on the bed. When you are young and in love, three times in a day is not unusual.

When Nolar left, Jake never felt so at peace with himself in his life. This was the way things should be, whether it was by accident, or because of the Prophets. He thought about telling his father and pictured the scene in his mind. It was not the first time he had fantasized about coming out, but this was the most sincere. He turned back to his novel, his semi-autobiography, with a renewed vigor.

The next day he received word that Nog would be coming to Deep Space Nine within the end of the week for his second year practicum with the Academy. He looked forward to seeing him again, and even though Nog and Salene had not exactly hit it off, he was sure he and Nolar would. In his excitement about Nog, he did not notice how quiet Nolar was that afternoon as they chatted after a game of springball.

The next morning there was a message that Nolar would not be able to see Jake that day, but that was not unusual. They had been seeing a lot of each other lately. That evening, his father made his favorite meal, and then they sat in the living room and talked. Jake could always tell when his father was serious, and he wondered what was up. The arrival of Nog back on the station came to mind. His father had initially disapproved of their friendship, but once he got to know Nog, he realized he was not your typical Ferengi. Perhaps it was something to do with the war with the Cardassians. Things were not going well now that they had formed an alliance with the Dominion. He and his dad had developed a relationship that went beyond father and son. They were able to talk about such things. They were able to talk about almost every topic. Jake was even feeling comfortable enough at the moment to raise the one topic he had been dreading bringing up for the past year.

"You and Nolar have been seeing a lot of each other," his father began.

"Yeah, he is the greatest. We really seem to have hit it off," Jake commented, surprised at the opening to talk about that exact topic. Was that chance, or was it fate he immediately wondered.

"Nolar's father thinks so too, but not in a way he approves."

"Oh?"

"He came by to see me today."

"And?"

"That is a new bracelet you are wearing."

"Yes, a gift from Nolar."

"And I understand he received a new gift from you."

"Yes, the black diamond ring you had made."

"He must be very special to you to give him that."

"He is. You don't mind I gave it to him?"

"No, of course not. It is yours to do with as you wish."

"It just seemed appropriate."

"How special is he to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean just how close are the two of you?"

This was not how Jake had imagined it would come out. He was supposed to be the one to raise the topic, not his father. Totally caught off guard, he did not know what to say. Did his father suspect? Or had Nolar's father told his father something. Surely he would not have told his dad that he was on Deep Space Nine because his son was gay. Fuck, suppose he had! What was his father thinking about him, especially considering the bracelet and the ring?

"We're good friends, very good friends." That was not exactly a lie.

"How good?"

Oh fuck, his father knew. "Real close," Jake admitted, his heart racing. He wanted to say lovers, but he could not.

"Then Nolar has told you he is gay?"

Jake's mouth dropped open as his mind thought of a dozen responses. "How did you know?" was the one he chose.

"His father told me, yesterday."

"His father? What the hell right does he have to go around telling others that!"

"Jake."

"No! He has no goddamn right!" Jake shouted, getting to his feet. "That is personal. Something for Nolar to tell, if he wants to!"

"He told me because he is concerned for you."

"Me? Why? Is he afraid I might get infected and became a homo too?"

"In a sense."

"What?" Jake asked incredulously. "Surely you don't believe in such a thing!"

"He was afraid Nolar might be, well, influencing you."

"Influencing?"

"Seducing."

"Give me a little credit!" Jake exploded, waving his arms for emphasis.

"Jake, sit down. I said Nolar's father felt so, not me."

"And what do you think?"

"Are you going to sit?" Jake hesitated, and then sat back down. "I think that I have a very sensitive, and caring son, who is going through a lot of his own personal problems right now. A son who has a compassion for others and a wish to help them, and who doesn't need this burden on top of his own."

"Burden? You think Nolar's being gay is a burden?"

"Being gay certainly is not a blessing."

"What?" Jake exploded. He knew his father would have a difficult time with this, but to express such an outdated, prejudicial view he would never have expected.

"It is not an easy thing for Nolar, or his father. You know their society is matriarchal. To not want to love a woman is incomprehensible to his father, and their culture."

Jake realized everything was being phrased as Nolar's homosexuality, Nolar's culture. "So why are you telling me all this?"

"For the past year Nolar's father has been forbidding any type of relationship between Nolar and other males. He only condoned yours because he thought your example might change Nolar. Now he is afraid the reverse might be working."

"He thought my example might change Nolar? Like he has some sort of bad habit and the good son might make him see the ill of his ways?" Jake rose from the sofa again and paced the room, flinging his arms about in frustration.

"Jake, calm down."

"And he figures the reverse has happened? On what basis did he come up with that fantastic conclusion?"

"Your new bracelet, and the ring you gave Nolar."

"So if friends exchange gifts that makes them lovers?" Jake spat.

"Nolar's father is afraid that might happen. That is why he came to see me, and to give me this." Ben Sisko reached into his pocket and took out the black diamond ring. "He has forbidden Nolar to see you anymore."

"He can't do that!"

"He is the boy's father."

"The boy is an adult."

"Yes. But a son none the same."

"This is crazy!" Jake grabbed the ring and thrusting it in his pocket, headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" his father asked, quickly getting to his feet.

"To talk to Nolar, and his father. To tell him just what I think of his decision."

"We must let them work this out themselves."

"That's a bit late. They have already involved us. Me anyway," Jake replied. He hesitated, and then turning and looking at his father, he dared to ask the question that was really the reason for his upset. "How do you feel? Do you agree I should stop seeing Nolar?"

"Of course not, but temporarily, I think it is a good thing."

"Temporarily? How temporarily? Until he stops being gay?"

"No, of course not."

"Why should I stop seeing him? Because he is gay?"

"Not totally."

"Not totally," Jake spat. "Just how do you feel about him being gay?"

"Do you mean do I approve of such a life style?"

"Yes."

"No, I don't." Jake felt like he'd been hit in the stomach. "I think it is unnatural." A second blow. "But at the same time, I don't think it is up to us to judge him."

"But you just did dammit."

"You asked for my opinion, and I gave it, Jake," his father snapped, his own temper rising. This was not the easiest topic for a father and son to discuss. "You know the Federation's position on such things. We do not interfere with other cultures, but in this case beliefs on Bajor and beliefs on Earth are not much different. At best homosexuality is tolerated."

"You don't tell and we won't ask."

"That is the Federation's stand. It's an old military position, from before there even was a Federation, or a Starfleet."

"And your position."

"Yes."

Jake stormed out of the apartment. He had to get out of there before he blurted out his confession. That would only make things worse under the circumstances. What had Nolar said, about avoidance being better than confrontation? He also had to get out of there because he was beginning to cry, to cry for Nolar, for Nolar's father and his father, for himself. . . . Having no place to go, he just wandered the corridors. He had long ago figured out where to wander when he had to pace without being bothered. He wandered for several hours.

Later that day he tried to contact Nolar but there was no use. His calls were all intercepted. Two days went by and there was no attempt by Nolar to contact him.

"JakeO, I've made an appointment for you to see Doctor Bashir," his father announced the next morning, knocking on the door before sticking his head in the bedroom.

"What?"

"You have been moping around for two days. I've made an appointment for you to see him in an hour."

"You know why I've been moping. It is not Doctor Bashir that I need to see."

"None the less, I 've made you an appointment," his father said, raising his eyebrow in that manner that said the conversation was over. "You be sure to keep the appointment."

"Yeah, I'll keep it."

Jake dragged himself out of bed and stepped into the shower. He knew there was no use not going. His father and the Doctor would have made some agreement on reporting if he did not keep the appointment. So, he'd humor him.

Jake showed up at the appointed time. Doctor Bashir escorted him immediately to an examination room. Having him sit up on the bed, he pulled close the divider curtains between beds. Excusing himself and mumbling that he was running late, the doctor brought someone into the next room a couple minutes later. Then before he could return to Jake, Jake heard the Doctor's com system calling him to the bridge. Excusing himself and popping his head in to see Jake, he said he was sorry, but this was going to take several hours.

Jake shrugged, and slipped off the bed. The Prophets were evidently up to something he thought wryly, mainly fucking up more of his life. As he headed to the door, so did the occupant of the adjacent half. As they met, surprise, and then realization crossed Jake's face. This was no chance meeting, and it had not been arranged by the Prophets either.

"Why are you here?" Jake asked.

"My father said the Doctor insisted on an examination before I leave for Bajor."

"You are leaving?"

"Yes," he said sadly. "I think you know what has happened."

"Yes, I do."

"And why are you here?"

"My father insisted I have a check up for my depression "

"And have you been depressed?"

"Yes. Depressed, angry, frustrated as hell, you name it. Ever since I learned about your father meeting with my father."

"And how is your father taking all this?"

"Well, at first I thought pretty piss poor, but," Jake said with a smile crossing his face. "I suspect that this was all his doing."

"His?"

"Arranging for both of us to be here, at the same time, and the Doctor suddenly called away."

"Of course. It is too much to be a coincidence."

"Could be Fate," Jake said with a slight smile as he slipped his hands in his pockets. He felt the hard, circular object and his smile broadened. He had shoved the ring in his pocket the evening his father had announced Nolar's father's decision, and he had not changed his trousers since. Perhaps there was such a thing as fate.

"Well, possibly," agreed Nolar. "The prophets sometimes use mortal folk to implement their will."

'And sometimes mortals manipulate fate,' thought Jake to himself as he thought of his father. "Well, chance or fate, we are together," he said, drawing close to Nolar and taking his hand.

He slipped the ring on his finger and they embraced, not in lust, but in love and sorrow. They kissed. And then they made love, there on the examining table, for the last time.

"I'll see you on Bajor."

"Of course."

"They will not keep us apart."

"Never," Nolar agreed, taking Jake's large, black hand in his. "May the Prophets guide us."

"May the Prophets guide us," Jake repeated, squeezing the delicate hand gently.

Jake wanted to be there when Nolar and his family departed, but he knew it best that he stay away. Later that day he saw his father about a pass to Bajor.

"It is of no use, Jake."

"What do you mean?"

"Nolar will not be able to see you when you go there."

"I know you can't arrange things like you did here, but we are not without resources ourselves."

"Not for this situation."

"What do you mean?"

"Nolar is going straight to the Kran-Jalol Asylum."

"Asylum? What do you mean?"

"His father has had him committed to an institution."

"What type of institution?"

"For the mentally insane."

"He can't do that."

"He has."

"Well, you will have to undo it."

"I can't."

"You're the Emissary. You can do anything."

"I'm afraid I can't."

"You can't, or won't?"

"Jake, that's not fair."

"Fucking life is not fair!"

Jake stormed out of the apartment again. That was becoming routine. It was absurd being committed to an insane asylum because you are gay. That did not happen. This was the twenty-fourth century for fucksake! First the two of them being separated, then his father's attitude about homosexuality, and now Nolar's confinement, what the hell were the Prophets up to anyway? Things could not get worse!

As Jake stormed down the hall, it took him a while to notice others looking at him, all with sympathy, some with pity. He could not understand. They could not possibly know about Nolar. He headed for Quarks. He needed a drink, and he needed something stronger than root beer.

"Jake, I'm so sorry," said Rom, Nog's father, coming up to the table and standing beside him.

"What do you mean?"

"About, well, you know," he said, glancing about uncomfortably.

"About what?" Jake asked, holding back his anger. Rom never was one to get straight to the point.

"About Gowran. I know you were friends."

"Were? What about Gowran?"

"About, well, you know."

"No, Rom, I don't!"

"You don't know?"

"Rom, tell me!" Jake shouted, rising out of his seat and grabbing the little Ferengi by the shoulders.

"General K'Dragh's ship. The Negh'Kor was shot down."

"No," Jake said, stumbling back.

"Shot down in a battle near Dorvan V. There were no survivors."

"No! Fuck no! It can't be!"

"Jake," Rom said, stepping forward and extending his hand.

Jake backed away, tears streaming down his face. He turned and ran. He ran and ran. He ran until his legs gave out. Finally slumping down in one of the loading docks behind a pile of crates, he held his head in his hands and blinked the tears from his eyes. First Nolar, now Gowran. The Fates certainly had a fucking warped sense of humor if they were responsible for this, and if it was all just chance, then life sucked big time. Everyone he loved was either no longer interested in him, unavailable, or dead.

He looked across the darkened, dismal dock. There on the gray bulkhead below the G14 stamped into the metal was scratched a heart with a piercing arrow and the date 48512.6. Under the date were the words, "Jake loves Nog." Fuck, if life could only be that simple. If only he could be sixteen again and the only ache was in his balls, not in his heart. If only Nog was there to comfort him. Better yet, if only he had died on Ajilon Prime.