Hey friends!
This is a story of love found in the worst possible way and circumstances. A story of denial and shame, of betrayal and trust. What will happen when you think/know you are straight, and into girls...when one day someone enters your life who shakes that entire foundation? Oh yeah...this is NOT one of my quick sex stories. So if your a sucker for romance, keep reading. If not, keep reading, although I'm not sure you'll enjoy it. To each his own.
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Hugz, Ryan
JACK AND CAL
That night after Jack had finished his shower and got ready for bed, it was then that reality forced him to face up to what he basically demanded from Kristen earlier the afternoon. He was always the one that said the Lord's wishes must be respected and he was always happy that Kristen shared these feelings and commitment of no sex before the marraige with him. But what he started to feel and the thoughts entering his mind these past few weeks was enough to scare the living shit out of him. He stood up and paced slowly around in his room, trying to figure out how the hell this had happened. Because quite frankly, the time to deny and wish it away was long gone. When he had met Calvin for the first time, he had to admit that inspite of everything happening to the latter, he always thought that Calvin was an attractive kid, with his spiky black hair and bad boy attitude. Where as when he thought another boy was attractive in the past, he would see it as a challenge. To work as hard in the gym to get the body of that guy he saw, or just admired the work that the dude had been putting into his body. It has always just been gone as quickly as it came. But with Calvin...boy it was a whole other story.
Jack had even gone as far as to tell himself that he had developed these feelings for Calvin out of pity to his circumstances. Good Lord, his parents was killed not a month ago! But as hard as Jack worked to make that excuse believable, he began to realise that it wasn't simply a phase, or something that would pass. When he visited Kristen these days he would always hope to see Calvin somewhere in the house. He would always wanna talk to him, wanna be close to him. Jack didn't know what the fucking hell to do anymore. He wasn't even gay! Hell no! He had always, since he entered puberty and gotten hair on his balls, been interested in GIRLS! Why the hell was this happening now? Now when Kristen needed him the most?
Jack stopped pacing about and walked over to his bed, where he kneeled down in prayer. He folded his hands together and closed his eyes.
"Heavenly Father, I pray that You give me guidance. I pray You give me a solution to this problem. In the Bible it states that You will not give us a problem if You didn't know that we could handle it. Well Lord, this one...I don't know. Father, I know feeling this way towards another boy is a sin. I love and respect You too much to willingly sin against You, Father. Please help me, help me control these feelings I have towards Calvin. Help me, guide me to resolve them and focus my life and feelings on the beautiful girlfriend You gave me. In Jesus's name...Amen"
He had tears rolling down his cheeks when he finished. Even when he finally got into bed and turned the bedlight on his nightstand off, he could still see Calvin's face infront of him. How much didn't he wanna just grab Calvin so many times, hold him against his body and tell him that everything would be okay? Jack closed his eyes. He had to respect God's wishes. Homosexuality was a SIN. And that he had to believe and go forward onwards. No matter how he felt towards Calvin.
A day or so later, Calvin finally came home from the hospital. Kristen's parents made it very clear to him that he needed to change his outlook on life quickly. It wasn't just him who suffered a big loss when his parents died. There were others aswell, including Kristen's father, who's brother was Calvin's father. Calvin just simply nodded to everything that he was told, he was so motherfucking tired that he didn't even try to listen. Just caught on some words and phrases here and there. More importantly, he just wanted to sleep. Sleep to forget everything of the last couple of weeks. He just threw his stuff down in the direction of the cupboard and literally fell onto the soft mattress. He tossed and turned for a couple of seconds to get comfortable before he almost immediately dozed off. He started to dream that he was walking, just wet surfaces all around, through nature and plants growing everywhere. For some reason, he couldn't stop walking. That's when he noticed that he was almost at the edge of a ravigne. He tried to stop walking straight into the gaping whole but he couldn't. As he stepped over the cliff, he felt an arm dragging him back. He could clearly feel the sand and slippery pieces of grass underneath his finger tips as they both tumbled to the ground. All that he knew was this person had saved his life. The latter stood up, holding out an arm to Calvin, which he gladly took. Before he could manage to say anything, this person embraced him, with their arms fully going around his back. Immediately Calvin returned it, feeling the hard muscles underneath the person's shirt. It was most definitely a dude infront of him. In all his life, he had never felt so loved before. He desperately wanted to see who this guy was. He gently pulled back. So did the dude. Just as Calvin wanted to catch sight of the person's face, his eyes flew open in reality. They were immediately diverted to another person in the room.
"Hey man, feeling better?" Jack asked as he stood inside the doorway.
Taking a while to get his bearings, Calvin managed to find his voice.
"Y...yeah dude...what are you doing here? Oh, I forgot...Kristen..."
"Yeah...we're going out tonight to MacDonalds. You...uhm...you wanna come with us?"
"Hahaha dude. Please, I have better things to do than follow you and my cousin on a date. Enjoy it, and don't do anything that I can't while im still feeling like shit."
Jack still stood in the doorway, before slowly entering the room. Calvin was getting a bit scared now...scared of revealing his true self to Jack. You see...not even Calvin's deceased parents knew that he was gay. He always managed to hide that part of his life more than successfully. It wasn't because that his parents would disown him or shit like that, infact his second cousin on his mother's side was a lesbian, and they had always treated her with respect. It was the mere fact that Calvin couldn't accept that he was different than other boys his age. When all of them started getting interested in girls, he had a hard time fully understanding what all the fuss was about. They kept talking about tits and pussy, and while Calvin knew that it was supposed to be that way for young teenage boys, he never felt the need to. He couldn't understand why he didn't get excited when his friends would talk about naked girls. Then finally one day, he got his answer. One of his friends had brought a porn dvd to school. They made arrangements to watch it after school at his house. Calvin's cock was hard all day, no matter how hard he tried to get it down. A 12 year old boy going to watch his very first porn video...like hell he's gonna stay flaccid!
That afternoon was a huge turning point in the young Calvin's life. The porn had a storyline of a woman who got locked out of her house after losing her key and she asks her young male neighbour to climb through the window to collect the spare key. Once he had done that and unlocked the door, young Calvin looked on in wide eyed amazement how this older woman started to totally seduce this younger dude. After 10 or so minutes, he had finally realised why he never wanted to talk about girls. He realised that he had been watching the dude the whole entire time! He could remember himself softly breathing out when the dude called Johnny Castle took off his shirt and Calvin saw all those pectorals and abs, when the woman took Johnny's trousers and boxers down and started to suck his cock. When Johnny placed his thick cock into the woman's ass and pussy and fucked her until his white semen simply spilled on top of her. That's when Calvin realised that he was gay. There was no other reasoning. It was then that it all made sence. Why he desperately wanted to be Christian Kelper's friend at school. Why he never thought about girls. Why he never saw the significance in wanting to fuck them or see them naked.
And like hell he was going to allow Jack Tanner see straight through him right now. Jack quietly sat on the bed beside Calvin and looked him straight in the eyes.
"Please Cal, please promise me that you won't use that stuff again," he whispered, almost pleading. If Calvin wanted to block Jack out, he wasn't doing a good job. That plead went straight to his teenage heart.
"Jack...look I won't okay? I fucked up, I know that."
Jack wanted to do more, to say more. He wanted to touch Calvin so much...even if it was just a friendly pat on the back. But he has asked God to help him forget these...these feelings he had for Calvin, and he stood up.
"Okay, man. I gotta go, Kristen must be waiting already," he said before jogging out of the room. Calvin sighed and turned onto his side, wanting to fall asleep again. The way Jack's hair seemed to just fall over his forehead. His friendly smile. His caring nature. He had never felt about any other boy, the way he felt about Jack.
Two days past since Jack and Calvin had seen eachother, however both couldn't get the other out of their minds. It was probably worse for Jack as he wanted to keep away from Calvin as much as possible to stop these feelings, who in turn was getting more and more severe by the day, because to see Kristen, he HAD to go to her house and therefore, he would always run into Calvin. Kristen wouldn't understand if he just didn't come over anymore. Jack knocked on the door the afternoon after he had finished his maths homework. He always spend a few hours with Kristen before dinner. Sometimes her parents invited him to join them. They were really fond if Jack, who they saw as a ideal man to someday marry Kristen. Just Jack's luck as Calvin opened the door.
"Uhm...oh yeah Cal...how's it hanging?" Jack asked, trying not to look at Cal's semi naked body, with only a towel wrapped around him.
"Same old, same old. I'll call Kristen. She asked me to answer the door. Wait here, man."
Calvin could feel the intense stare from Jack. Was it possible? Slowly but surely the two of them grabbed eachother's eyes in a vice. Poor Jack was shaking. His handpalms were getting sweaty as he couldn't take his eyes off this beautiful dude infront of him. Calvin returned the stare, not even trying to hide it anymore. The two 16 year old boys didn't have to say anything. Their eyes confirmed to the other what was not being said.
"Hey baby! I missed you! I'll be down in a minute, hun!"
The shout from upstairs echoing Kristen's voice seemed to snap both Jack and Calvin from their slumber, if you could call it that. Calvin meekly showed that Jack should enter the house. He was stunned when Jack shook his head.
"No...no thanks, Cal. I'd rather wait outside. Tell Kristen, please?" he asked before he walked away to his car, leaving a very confused Calvin behind him. Kristen soon came down the stairs, skipping them two by two when he saw that Jack wasn't in the living room.
"He's outside in the car. Don't ask me," Calvin said as he walked to the kitchen. As Kristen entered the car, she saw that Jack was crying.
"Hun! What's the matter?" she asked before caressing his shoulder.
"Its...sniff its nothing, Kris. Just something that I...urgh never mind. Lets just go."
"Jack Tanner, you're gonna tell me what's wrong right now! The other day you're basically demanding sex and know you're crying and refuse to talk to me? What the heck is going on with you?"
"I told you, its NOTHING!" Jack said, angry at himself, which Kristen ofcourse took a whole other way.
"Well when you know, please tell me. I need my boyfriend back, not this pathetic substitute!" Kristen hissed before getting out of the car and storming back into the house, slamming the door closed behind her. Jack looked down at the steering wheel, and he watched as yet another tear managed to fall from his eye and onto his arm.
"God please...please God, please..." he whispered.
The weekend came and went without Jack and Kristen so much as speaking to eachother. The following week at school, the last of the term, was hell on both of them. Ofcourse, now that he didn't go over to Kristen's house anymore, he had no way to see Calvin either. It was arranged that Calvin would join the school the following term as he was way too late for the current one. Calvin had another dream of being held by that special guy, and still everytime he wanted to see who the person was, he woke up, thinking about Jack. Calvin hated seeing Kristen so sad and moping around the house. She was his favourite cousin afterall, they had grown up together. How could he tell her that he had fallen for Jack, her boyfriend? Fallen for him bigtime at that.
One morning just before eleven Calvin was walking in around in the town, just to get some fresh air and clear his head, now and then bothering to do some window shopping for himself when he saw a soccer ball come out of no where and bounce twice infront of him before rolling further down the street. For some reason, Calvin decided to chase after it. He quickly caught up with it and picked it up. When he turned around, he got quite a shock.
"Okay buddy, I'll see if I can find it, where did you...oh hey Cal..."
Jack's chest was still heaving up and down as he gazed into Calvin's eyes. The latter took the ball and threw it towards Jack.
"That what you're looking for?"
"Haha yeah. One of the kids had tried a little to hard to do a perfect free kick. Thanks for...well you know."
"No worries, man."
The two boys just stared at eachother, each one's eyes full of hidden pain and lust. Finally Jack, even with his knowledge that he had to stay away from Calvin, just seemed to give in. There was no way he could let Calvin go now.
"You wanna come in for a Coke or something? I brought a fresh sixpack this morning?" he asked.
Calvin hesitated...this was still Kristen's boyfriend after all. But what the hell...what harm can a can of Coke do? As they entered, Calvin saw that it was a sort of children's home, a orphanage if you like.
"Jack...what exactly are you doing here on a Saturday, dude?" he asked.
"Thought you might ask that. Im volunteering here. I come in every second weekend or so and play games with them, keep them happy and exercised. Im saying every second weekend because I volunteer at a old age home one Saturday and im here the next. I enjoy doing things for others. Go on, tell me how nerdy and geeky and boring I am, I've heard it all before," Jack said with a small smile.
Calvin's eyes softned and his heart felt warm after hearing all of this. If anything, this confession from Jack just allowed Calvin's feelings for him to evolve into something much, much for than just lust...
"No man...its great that you wanna help out these people. Most kids our age just wanna fuck around and do shit like drugs...like I did."
Jack placed his hand firmly on Calvin's shoulder. The latter slowly turned his face towards that of Jack.
"You made a mistake, dude. You're human, you're allowed to. Damn, I'm going all Dr Phil on you again, aren't I?" he said, causing Calvin to laugh. He surprised Jack by placing his own hand on the latter's shoulder, squeezing it. Jack's body felt like it was on fire. Never, never in all the touches that he and Kristen had ever shared, did it feel quite like this. God, forgive me, I don't know what I'm doing, he cried silently. Its WRONG!! It's a SIN!!
Calvin suddenly had to support Jack as the latter's legs simply seemed to give way. Calvin led Jack to a chair, placing him down before reaching for another chair, sitting beside him.
"Dude, what the hell man? You're freaking me out, what happened just now?" Calvin urgently asked, franctially looking around to see if there was someone he could ask for help.
Jack just sat quietly for a moment before he felt Calvin's hand on his own. He looked up and saw what he wanted to see in Cal's handsome face. Slowly, as if he was afraid, Jack placed his shaking hand on top of Calvin's. He shook his head in sheer disbelief.
"Why...why do I feel so attracted to you?" he whispered, only loud enough for Calvin to hear.
Calvin was stunned at first, but he recovered quickly. He could see it in Jack's eyes the other day when he visited Kristen. He knew what Jack was feeling.
"I dunno, man. I've been asking myself the same question since I saw you for the first time."
"Im not gay, Cal. I have never been attracted to another dude. I swear that to you. I dunno why you make me feel like this. God, dude, you're my girlfriend's fucking cousin. It doesn't get more sick than that."
"Know what, Jack? I believe you. I believe you that you're not gay. Your eyes are telling me something different though, man. But if you're really not, than I'll understand. I'll back off and give you and Kristen all the time you need to patch things up. I'll even talk to her for you."
"Thanks buddy, but I can't do this any more. I can't go out with Kristen when I..."
"When...when you what, Jack?" Calvin whispered.
"Oh my gosh...sigh when I...when I fucking think about YOU all the time!" Jack said, the tears once again rolling down his cheeks. He suddenly stood up and took the chair on which he was sitting and threw it violently on the floor. His chest was heaving up and down fiercely as a woman quickly entered.
"Jack...what happened? I heard a..."
"Its okay, Mam. Jack just stood up a little quickly. Everything is fine," Calvin said, taking care of the situation.
"I'll pay for a new chair, Mrs Clene, don't worry about that," Jack said, starting to calm down. Mrs Clene seemed fine with the explanation and left the two boys alone once more.
"Cal...words can't describe how much I want to...but I can't. Its against God's will, I mean, its eternal damnation! Calvin...oh fuck, Calvin..."
Jack reached out and caressed Calvin's cheek with his thumb. As if naturally, Calvin reached up and held Jack's hand in his. Both boys felt it. That sparkle when you know you've found your soulmate. Calvin gently pulled Jack towards him and enveloped him into a embrace. Jack let out a tiny moan as he felt Calvin's arms around him. He placed his head onto Calvin's shoulder, his upper body shaking. Calvin had never felt happier in his life. He held onto Jack as if scared that he would fall if he let go. He caressed the back of Jack's head, while Jack gently kissed his shoulder.
"I love you, Jack."
Jack just nodded against Calvin's shoulder, before he hugged the boy tighter against his body.
Gonna end it here for the second chapter. If you wanna chat with me about the story or just wanna send some hot chats my way, please send me a email on ryanstories@yahoo.com