IT'S WHAT YOU SEE
Script of a one-act stage play
Scene One
[STAGING] The curtain rises to reveal a college dorm room. An unmade bed, a cluttered desk with a desk chair, a bean bag chair, and a mini-refrigerator are the only furnishings. A window overlooks the campus. The walls are adorned with a University of Michigan pennant surrounded by several action photos of football players and a large team photo. Moments later, the door opens and two husky young men enter, laughing, and drop their book bags on the floor.
[John] [closing the door] Make yourself comfortable.
[STAGING] Aaron plops down in the bean bag chair and sighs contentedly.
[John] [chuckles] You really like a soft, comfy seat, don't you.
[Aaron] [grins] Sure do! I wish I had one for my room.
[John] Why not get one?
[Aaron] Yeah, right ... with only a few months to graduation. Then what do I do with it?
[STAGING] John gets two bottles of beer from the mini-refrigerator and hands one. Both pop the cap on their bottles. John raises his bottle.
[John] Here's to the end of another week of study.
[STAGING] Both young men take a long swig on their beers
[John] [sitting on the corner of the desk] So what did you think of the history lecture?
[Aaron] [frowns] Boring! Just a repeat of what was in the text.
[John] I thought it might be. So I didn't read the chapter. I was so beat after practice yesterday I hit the sack.
[Aaron] I should have. That old prof always tells us what we've already read. He must have tenure and they can't fire him for incompetence.
[John] [laughs]
Funny, isn't it? Regular professors don't have to excel. Not like our coach. Two or three bad seasons and he's out on his ass.
[Aaron] Coach won't have to worry `bout that. Not with talent like yours on the team.
[John] You're one to talk! You're the best quarterback he's had for years. I'll bet he's sorry this is your last season.
[Aaron] Maybe so. But I'm sorry the season is almost over. `Cause I won't get to play with you and the rest of the team.
[STAGING] John moves to the bed and sits, facing Aaron. Both young men are pensive for a while as if pondering the end of team camaraderie.
[John] I never asked you ... how come you decided not to play for the pros? You'd for sure be picked in the first round.
[Aaron] Pro ball is different. Brutal. Injuries. Nobody lasts long. Their bodies get so battered they get cut from the roster.
[John] Yeah. But while they're playing, they're paid huge salaries.
[Aaron] So what good is money if aches and pains .... not to mention mental problems from concussions ... make the rest of your life unpleasant and maybe miserable?
[John] [pauses with a half-scowl on his face] That's where you and I differ. I grew up poor. Dirt poor as they say. It was miserable. Hungry most of the time. Hand-me-down clothes that didn't fit right and were usually worn out when I got `em.
[Aaron] So that's why you want to be drafted to a pro team?
[John] `Xactly. But I ain't gonna squander what I earn. I'm gonna see to it that my folks have plenty. They suffered through poverty and discrimination back in Miss'ipi and deserve to have a bit o' comfort.
[Aaron] [Stares at his bottle of beer, deep in thought momentarily] I s'pose I'm lucky. My dad has a good job. Paid well. Only two of us kids. Not like you. Six kids to feed. And clothe. I admire you, my friend, for what you've achieved.
[STAGING] John rises from the bed and walks to the window. He opens the window and briefly stares out at the campus.
***************** NOTE TO READER: A term well-known to theater people is "the fourth wall". It refers to the invisible wall separating the actors on stage from the audience. Occasionally, an actor will step "down stage" (toward the audience) to deliver his character's own thoughts. Once finished, he returns to his former position "up stage" to continue his dialogue with the other actor(s) or to continue his own personal activities. *****************
[STAGING] Stage lighting dims except for a spotlight on John who walks down stage. Aaron does not move.
[John] [Addressing the audience, he points with his thumb back over his shoulder to Aaron] He has NO IDEA what it's like to grow up poor. I could tell him but he still wouldn't understand. You have to EXPERIENCE something to REALLY understand. But then again, he's a cool dude. Smart. Honest. And he treats me as a friend ... a PERSON ... not like a lot of folks who see me as some inferior black guy with a football scholarship. He says he admires me. I wonder if he does ... or is he just trying to be nice.
[STAGING] John looks back at Aaron momentarily, turns to the audience, and continues his thinking out loud.
I s'pose when I really think about it, he's what they call genuine. I've never got the sense of being inferior when we're together. He's never talked down to me. Not like the uppity Whites in Mis'ippi. He respects me even when we argue about something we studied in class ... or when we're talking about plays in a game and disagree about what should have happened. Yeah! I can't say I've ever met anybody like him ... never met a person who was as honest ... and who saw ME and not my skin color.
[STAGING] John returns to look out the window. Stage lights come back on.
[John] [without turning around to face Aaron] Want another beer?
[Aaron] No thanks. I'm still nursing this one. Besides, we've got an early practice in the morning and the game in the afternoon. I don't need to be hung over tomorrow.
[John] [Turns around to face Aaron] We've got almost an hour before dinner at the training table. Wanna hang out here `till then?
[Aaron] If you don't mind, yes. Being with a friend is better than being alone in my room.
[STAGING] John walks to the desk chair and sets his beer on the desk.
[John] So. Do we talk about school work? The game tomorrow? What we'll do after graduation? The meaning of life?
[STAGING] They grin at each other.
[Aaron] School? No! The game? No. The meaning of life? That's too much after only one beer. Tell you what I'd like to talk about. I know your family was poor. I know that you have five brothers and sisters. But you never talk about what it was like for you growing up. I've wondered about that since I met you.
[STAGING] John squirms in his chair.
[John] It ain't pretty. I've never said anything `bout it. Not because I'm ashamed. But because I don't want nobody's sympathy.
[Aaron] I'm asking only to appreciate how far you've come. From desperate poverty to graduating college. And with definite prospects of success in the NFL. I'd really like to know how you did that.
[John] You really mean that?
[Aaron] You can bet your ass on it!
[John] Okay. But don't say I didn't warn you. What's it like to be poor? It's your dad working menial jobs ... that is, when he could find em. Walking to work cause there was no money to put gas in the beat up car. Watchin' your dad drag his butt home after sweatin' all day taking care of white folks' yards. Going to bed hungry cause critters ate the vegetables in the garden behind the house. House! More like a shack! Goin' to a rickety school ... not like the new building on the other side o' town. No books. No paper, no pencils, nothin'. And teachers — not all of em but several — who didn't give a shit about us kids. Except to keep us quiet and makin' no trouble. But it wasn't all bad. There was love. From mom and dad. Between us kids. We stuck together. Helped each other. Specially mom and dad. Oh, sure, there were some arguments and even fights among us kids. But we got over it fast. Somehow ... even as little kids ... we sensed that there was strength in unity.
[Aaron] You told me once that your dad was a preacher. Now you're saying he had a job. Was that a full time job?
[John] Yeah. Except when he got laid off. That made it tough with even less money. Sunday mornings he was a minister in an all-black church. Lots of evenings he was out helping church members cope with sickness, poverty, grief over the death of a loved one, stuff like that. But when he was home, he made sure each of us kids knew he loved us. And he was firm in his advice to be good Christians. And to get an education. Mom, of course, echoed his guidance ... whenever she was not working to keep things running at home, that is. And handling the childhood crises of six kids.
[Aaron] So it was their guidance that motivated you to succeed?
[John] No doubt about it! That's why I'm so convinced that I have to repay the debt I owe them. IF I make it to the pros, I'm gonna see to it that they can live in comfort. In a nice house. And never go hungry.
[Aaron] Thanks for telling me about growing up. And, if only incidentally, how your values and ambition were built. But one thing puzzles me. With a strict Christian upbringing, why is it that you never go to church?
[John] [Standing up] That's another story. Kinda long one. So if you don't mind, I'll tell you in a little while. Right now I gotta pee. Toilets are down the hall if you gotta pee, too.
[Aaron] Nope. Maybe later.
[John] Be right back.
[STAGING] John walks out of the room, leaving the door open. Stage lights dim. Aaron stays but does not move. John immediately appears on the far left of the stage apron illuminated by a spotlight. He looks out across the audience.
[John] I really didn't have to pee. It was an excuse to give me some time to think. You see, I've got a big problem. He wants to know why I don't go to church. I want to tell the truth. And I'm sure he wants to hear the truth. But I don't dare tell him the real reason. I value our friendship too much to risk losing it. Friendship? No! It's far more than that. Over the years ... playing football ... hanging out with each other ...; I've become very fond of him. That would be okay except for one thing. I want to make love with him. Shocking, isn't it? Bit it's the truth. In my early teens, I wrote off those feelings as simple curiosity. And I convinced myself that was normal. But the feelings only grew stronger and reached a peak when I met Aaron ... and saw him naked in the shower. I had to play mental games with myself to keep my dick from stiffening. That would have brought insults and torment from my teammates. It was then I realized I couldn't fool myself anymore. My feelings were not innocent curiosity. They were SINFUL. And if I acted on those feelings, I would be condemning myself to eternity in Hell. He wants to know why I don't go to church. The reason is that I have rejected one of the main teachings of the church. And if other teachings are as irrational as that one ... well ... maybe the path to salvation is not what's described from the pulpit. I've been struggling to resolve my problem for a long time. To be Black is enough of a handicap. To be queer would be even greater. Together, they would make life unbearable. [Pauses, scratches his head, contemplating what to say] I don't know how to answer Aaron's question. Should I make up some phony reason and lie to him? Or should I tell him the truth and risk losing his friendship? Is he man enough to hear the truth but remain a friend? [pauses to think] He probably is. I'll take a chance.
[STAGING] John returns to the room by way of the stage wing, enters the room through the doorway as the stage lights come up. He closes the door and walks to his deskr.
[Aaron] [grinning broadly] Everything come out all right?
[John] [laughs] In the end.
[STAGING] John sits in the desk chair and takes a sip of beer. Then, unconsciously looking down at the bottle in his hand, he adopts a serious expression as he slowly strokes the neck of the bottle, not looking up]
You asked why I don't go to church. The reason is complicated. [Then, haltingly] If I tell you, can I ... [He looks straight into Aaron's eyes.] ... Can I trust you to ... to keep it a secret?
[Aaron] Of course! There are lots of things we've told each other that don't get repeated.
[John] I believe you. And trust you. So here's the real reason. I'll be quite blunt about it. In a nutshell, I'm gay. My church condemns homosexuality. I won't be a hypocrite sitting in a pew on Sunday morning as a perverted sinner.
[STAGING] Aaron's jaw drops, stunned by John's admission and by his frankness and sincerity. Recovering quickly, he bursts out laughing.
[John] [shouting] What's so goddamned funny?
[Aaron] [fights to regain composure] The coincidence! For all the time I've known you, I never suspected. I hoped. I wished. I fantasized. Because I'm gay, too. And what's more, I've wanted in the worst way to have sex with you.
[John] Sonofabitch! Ain't that somethin'? I've done the same. Hoped. Wished. Fantasized.
[Aaron] We've wasted three years knowing each other. If only we had known sooner! But now we do know. Now we can make our wishes come true. [Then, tentatively] That is if you really want to.
[John] [animatedly] Want to? I've wanted it for what seems like forever!
[STAGING] Aaron stands, walks very slowly to John, grabs both of John's hands, and pulls him to a standing position. Their eyes are locked on each other for several moments, still holding hands. John frees his hands and hesitatingly puts them on Aaron's waist. Aaron does the same to John but quickly grabs him in a tight hug. John responds by hugging Aaron.
[Aaron] [emphatically] Gawd! How I've wanted this!
[John] I know. I know. I know how your feel.
[Aaron] All the yearning! All the nights I've fallen asleep thinking of you! Now it's all history, John. We've found what we wanted ... what we needed.
[STAGING] They stand toe-to-toe for a long moment. John breaks the tight embrace but still clings to Aaron and plants a gentle kiss on Aaron's forehead. Aaron responds by kissing John vigorously on his mouth.
[John] [breaking the kiss] Whatta you say `bout spending the night with me after dinner.
[Aaron] There's nothing I'd like more! In fact, I'd like to skip the dinner part. But I guess we've got to eat. We'll need all our energy for what comes after dinner.
[John] Comes? You're talking `bout orgasm. Right?
[STAGING] Both laugh hysterically as they walk to the door, leave the room, and close the door. Curtain falls on Scene One.
Scene Two
[STAGING] The curtain rises to reveal a stage set with two rooms. In the room at stage left (right to the audience) an older man sits at a desk. Two chairs and a sofa are the only other furnishings. He is reading contents of a thick three-ring binder. The walls are adorned with team photos. At stage right (left to the audience) is a reception area with a receptionist sitting at a desk next to a closed door leading to the room at stage left. She is typing on a computer with the screen facing upstage. John and Aaron enter from off stage through an open door into the reception area.
[Aaron] Hi, Susie. Coach said he wanted to see us.
[Susie] [looking up and smiling broadly] "Hi, guys. Good to see you. Yes, he does. He's busy at the moment but I know he's expecting you. Have a seat. It shouldn't be too long.
[John] Do you know what it's about?
[Susie] Sorry, he didn't say. [She laughs] Never does. But if it's about playing football, I wouldn't understand it anyway.
[STAGING] John and Aaron chuckle and sit down. Susie returns to work on the computer.
[John] [quietly to Aaron] I'm worried, Aaron. Being summoned to the Coach's office is like when I was in grade school and got called to the principal's office. Are we in trouble?
[Aaron] I doubt it. If we screwed up in practice, he'd let us know it then and there. If we got bad grades on one of our tests in class, he wouldn't ask us to come in TOGETHER.
[John] You don't suppose he knows about ... You know ...
[Aaron] [glances toward Susie who is busy clearing a paper jam in her printer] I know what you're thinking. There's no way. Think about it. How could he possibly know?
[STAGING] A buzzer sounds at Susie's desk. She picks up the phone.
[Coach] [in his office] Did the A.D. send over the scouting report?
[Susie] Yes, sir. It came this morning.
[Coach] Bring it in, please.
[STAGING] Susie picks up a large manila envelope from the top of her desk, She walks to the door, opens it, walks to the front of Coach's desk, and hands him the envelope.
[Susie] John and Aaron are here. They're waiting outside.
[Coach] Tell `em I'll be just a few more minutes.
[Susie] Anything you need before I take my early lunch break?
[Coach] No. You go on. I'll fetch Aaron and John as soon as I can.
[STAGING] Susie returns to her desk, closing the Coach's office door behind her.
[Susie] I told him you're here, guys. Just a few more minutes. Hope you don't mind waiting.
[Aaron] Not at all.
[John] How's your brother, Susie?
[Susie] Doing well, thanks. Just a routine surgery. I'm about to leave and go over to the Medical Center to visit him. I expect he'll be demanding to be released so he can get back to work. He's such a workaholic. [pauses] Oh. The coach will let you know when he's ready to see you.
[John] Give your brother our best wishes, will you?
[Susie] I'll do that. It will mean a lot to him. He's a big fan of the team and especially its two stars.
[STAGING] John and Aaron look at each other quizzically..
[Susie] Yes, I mean you two! [pauses] I'm going to miss you two. Not because you're great football players but because you're both very likeable guys. It's always a treat to talk to you. [pauses again] Say. Would you do me a favor and make my brother very happy? Would you autograph something I could take to him?
[Aaron] We'd be honored, Susie.
[STAGING] Susie looks around. She retrieves a file folder her desk drawer, and pulls out a photo.
[Susie] [handing the photo and a pen to Aaron] Here's a recent team photo. If you guys sign it, it will cheer my brother up. And I'm sure it will be framed and hung in his office.
[Aaron] His name is Gary, right?
[Susie] Gary Fitzsimmons.
[STAGING] Aaron and John autograph the photo and hand it back to Susie.
[Susie] [smiling broadly] Thanks heaps, guys. He'll be delighted. See ya later.
[STAGING] Susie picks up her handbag and exits stage right.
[John] I think Coach knows.
[Aaron] About us? How could he? We've been very careful. We haven't done ANYTHING except in the privacy of your room or mine for two weeks. It's been tough but I've treated you the same as before we .... well ... you know ... before we found each other. And you've done the same. Neither of us have done anything to cause even a suspicion.
[John] Still, I can't think of any other reason he'd want to see us.
[Aaron] Settle down, John. Even if it's what you think, it's important not to get all nervous and jittery. That would only confirm his suspicions ... IF he suspects anything ... which we can't be sure of anyway.
[John] I'll try to be cool. But to be honest, I'm scared. If he thinks we're gay, he has to consider the effect on the rest of the team. He could kick us off the team. That would screw up my scholarship and my chances of graduating.
[Aaron] Stop being afraid of something you're not sure of. Just stay calm. We can handle this.
[John] Maybe YOU can. But for most of my life I've been submitting to powerful White folks. Even when I haven't done anything wrong. It becomes a part of your nature. It's a hard feeling to overcome. Right now there's part of me that feels like I'm about to face a lynch mob of Klansmen. But I have to tell you, I feel a little more secure with you at my side. [pauses] I'll try not to be too uptight. And not say anything he can use against us.
[Aaron] [soothingly] It'll be okay, John. Like I said, just don't get all nervous and jittery. Keep you fears hidden away inside.
[STAGING] Coach gets up from his desk, walks to the door, and opens it.
[Coach] [smiling] Come on in, guys. Sorry you had to cool your heels for a while.
[Aaron] No problem, Coach.
[STAGING] The three walk into the coach's office. Coach closes the door.
[Coach] Have a seat, guys.
[STAGING] John and Aaron sit in chairs facing the front of the desk.. Coach sits behind his desk with an expressionless face.
[Coach] First of all, I want to tell you ... again ... how pleased I am with your performance on the field. You two are a big reasons for the team's success this season. Keep in mind how much I admire your ability on the field and how much I appreciate your efforts. But there's another reason I wanted to talk to you ... both of you at the same time. You're probably wondering what that is.
[Aaron] Yes, Sir.
[Coach] I'll get to it in a minute. First, I'd like to share a few observations. Aaron, you probably know this but you're the best quarterback I've had the privilege of coaching in a long time. Maybe ever. John, I don't know how you do it. I wish I did. You have a combination of skills that's incredible. You seem to have a sixth sense about where to be to catch a pass. You can snag the ball and evade tacklers like no one else. In short, you make a great pair on the field. There's almost something mystical about how you work together.
[Aaron] Thanks, Coach. But give yourself some credit. It's your guidance that's polished whatever skill we have.
[John] And it's been a privilege playing for you.
[Coach] Enough of the congratulations. My point is this. There seems to be a special connection between you two. You function on the field like two halves of a whole. So here's my question. Have you noticed that? Do you feel that way?
[Aaron] [pauses before speaking] I'm not sure what you mean, Coach. I throw the ball. John catches it. We're just doing our job out there.
[Coach] No. It's more than that. Is there some kind of bond between you two?
[STAGING] Stage lights dim except for a spotlight on Aaron as he walks down stage to talk to the audience. John and the coach do not move.
[Aaron] Maybe John to was right. Maybe Coach knows about us. He started out being friendly. Just chatting. Was he just buttering us up? It was definitely NOT his typical "get it done" attitude. That might have been to put us at ease before confronting us. Making us drop our guard so we would say something we wouldn't ordinarily say. Yeah! He's that kind of guy. I've seen him use that tactic with a teammate a couple of times.
[STAGING] Aaron glances quickly back over his shoulder.
[Aaron] He can be shrewd when he wants to be. But I still don't know what he wants from us. Could it be that ... somehow ... he found out what John and I do together at night? Seems impossible. We've been much too careful for that.
[STAGING] Aaron paces back and forth momentarily.
[Aaron] Okay. Suppose he's perceptive enough to pick up on a few looks John and I may have exchanged without realizing what we were doing. Suppose he jumps to a conclusion that we're more than teammates and friends. And he just wants to verify his theory. Then what? We could lie about our relationship. Claim we're just good friends. Would that satisfy him? Probably not. If anything, he's perceptive. I've seen him dress down a player for making up phony excuses for some failure or mistake during practice.
[STAGING] Aaron glances back at the coach again momentarily.
[Aaron] But wait a minute. He's too smart to call us in here if he only has a hunch. He's got to have a credible reason to talk to us. I have no idea what that reason could be. But suppose he trips us up. And one of us says the wrong thing?. Or suppose he confronts us with an allegation of homosexuality? What then? He suspended a guy once for using the term, nigger. What would he do to practicing queers? I have absolutely no way of knowing. But it could be worse than a suspension.
[STAGING] Aaron shakes his head and returns upstage to his former position. Stage lights come back on.
[Aaron] A bond? If that means we can coordinate our moves on the field and 0hang out with each other off the field, you can call it a bond.
[Coach] John, you haven't said much. How do you feel about Aaron?
[John] [casts a quick glance at Aaron and immediately back at the coach] I think he's a great ball player. He'd have a future in the pros if only he wanted it. Off the field, he's a good friend. In fact, he's the first White guy I've known who doesn't give a shit ... excuse me ... doesn't give a hoot about me being Black. That shows me he's a truly righteous person.
[Coach] Righteous?
[John] You know. A person who actually LIVES the golden rule ... do unto others.
[Coach] That's pretty high praise.
[John] But it's true. And the reason why I'm proud to be his friend.
[Coach] [showing impatience] Okay, guys. I'm gonna cut to the chase. Somebody came to me and told me you two are gay and that you're engaging in homosexual acts. Is that true?
[Aaron] [indignantly] And who is this somebody? Does he have any evidence? Is he credible?
[Coach] [showing irritation by shouting] This is not a court of law! Don't try to evade the question with a lot of legal bullshit!
[Aaron] With respect, Sir, I'm not trying to evade the question. But I don't like tattle-tails. Especially when the accusation will severely hurt another person. If I shoplift or bully somebody, that's one matter. Report it. But attacking my character and jeopardizing my reputation and future is quite another matter. That's serious!
[Coach] [pointing a finger at Aaron and scowling] But you HAVE evaded the question, young man. I asked you if you're gay. And as for your reputation and future, let me say this. I strongly disapprove of perverted homosexuality. John calls you righteous. You can't be righteous if you're guilty of the sin of homosexuality. The Bible says "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination." I think it's not just an abomination, it's disgusting. [pauses] But back to my point. Even if what I've been told is true, I have a job to do. Train ball players and win games. What you do in private will not affect my admiration of your athletic prowess. And won't result in any damage to your precious reputation. You'll still be team captain. I'll still play both you and John in the remaining games of the season. IF ... and this is a big IF ... if you keep your filthy behavior behind closed doors. Got that straight?
[Aaron] Loud and clear, Sir. But if I may, Sir, I'd like to point out that the accusation is no more than that. And I'm sure I can trust you not to dignify it by spreading the rumor any further.
[Coach] [rolls his eyes and moans] Clever of you, Aaron. You're still successfully evading my question. So I still don't know if you and John are gay. But you both know where you stand. Play hard. Play to win. And NEVER ... NEVER do anything to confirm what my informant has told me. For my part, it's water under the bridge. That'll be all.
[STAGING] Coach stands. John and Aaron stand.
[John] I've been pretty quiet but I'd like to add something. I agree totally with everything Aaron has said. And I thank you for letting the whole issue drop.
[STAGING] John and Aaron walk out of the coach's office, closing the door behind them, and into the reception area. The coach sits down, shakes his head, and picks up the binder he was reading earlier.
[John] [quietly] What'd I tell ya? He KNOWS!
[Aaron] [emphatically] He DOESN'T know. All he knows is that somebody CLAIMS that we're gay. That somebody is a sneaky coward for not accusing us to our face. Coach is smart enough to recognize that. He knows it's just an unsubstantiated rumor. And he won't ... he CAN'T take any action without facts to back up him up. Thin about it, John. What would the media say if he cut us from the roster? [pauses] He can't risk that. He said so himself. His job ... his FUTURE depends on winning games. He's not going to jeopardize that.
[John] Maybe you're right. But I'm still scarred.
[Aaron] One thing's for sure. We have to continue being very careful ... even more careful than we've been.
[John] Shit! We have to keep sneaking around. Like we're doing something wrong. It's not wrong, is it?
[Aaron] No. It's not wrong. What's wrong is narrow-minded, vicious hatred ... hatred that victimizes people like us ... hatred that attacks people for being themselves. But that's the way it is.
[John] [pauses to think] Just like Whites hating Blacks in Mis'sippi. And tormenting them ... making their lives miserable.
[Aaron] Exactly!
[John] Yeah. And it means I got two strikes against me. I'm Black AND gay. I can't hide being Black. I reckon I'll hafta keep hiding being gay.
[Aaron] For a while, John. In time, and with luck, maybe things will change. In the meantime, we've got each other to lean on.
[John] You're right about that. Being with you is the best thing that's happened to me. I just hope the coach ... and everybody else ... doesn't find out for sure what we do together.
[Aaron] He won't. If we're careful. Come on. Let's get some lunch.
[STAGING] John and Aaron exit stage right. Curtain falls.
Scene Three
[STAGING] Curtain rises to reveal John's dorm room. The view out the window shows it is night. John is working at his desk on a laptop computer. Aaron is lying in bed on his stomach and reading a thick textbook. John stands up, stretches with arms high in the air and then does several squat-thrusts. Aaron watches intently.
[Aaron] Writer's cramp?
[John] Partly that. Mostly writer's block. I'm fresh out of ideas for this term paper. It's only eight pages so far and the prof said a minimum of ten. Thank God it's the last term paper I'll ever have to write.
[Aaron] Use a bigger font size. That'll expand it a page or two.
[John] [sarcastically] Funny!
[Aaron] Sorry. I guess I should be more sympathetic. Is there anything I can do to help?
[John] Not likely. Unless you're an expert on T. S. Elliot's poetry. Lit 201 was supposed to be a Mickey Mouse course. But this fresh new prof is out to prove himself to be a seasoned academic and he expects us to figure out the symbolism is poems that are ... what's the word I want? [pauses] Obscure!
[Aaron] What's the poem?
[John] The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. Just the silly title tells you the writer's got a screw or two loose. To me, the whole poem is a bunch of meaningless gibberish. I guess I'm just too stupid to get it.
[STAGING] John returns to sit at his desk. Aaron rises, walks over to John, and massages John's shoulders.
[Aaron] You're NOT stupid, John. You've got a different set of talents. Physical AND mental. Think of it this way. That new prof ... What's his name? Jenkins? ... If he had to interpret the coach's play diagrams, I'll bet he'd be confused. And to remember the weakness and behavior of every defensive player for every team you play? He'd be totally lost. Will Rogers said, "Everybody is ignorant but in different subjects." You're not stupid. You're different. Different isn't better or worse. It's just different. Another thing to consider. You got an A minus in Sociology. Why? Because you have insight into how people interact with each other. That might be partially due to growing up poor and Black in Mississippi. But the fact remains, when it comes to understanding real people, you're smart as a tack.
[STAGING] Aaron leans down and kisses the side of John's neck
[John] [smiling broadly] Smart enough to latch on to you. The best thing I've ever been lucky enough to do.
[Aaron] Thanks for the compliment but I have to disagree. The best thing you've done is to set your goals high, overcome the deprivation of growing up poor, and make it through college. Being drafted by the Ravens is another big achievement. Most people think a football player is judged on athletic ability only. But they don't realize that mental ability is very much a part of being a pro football player. Stupid doesn't describe what you've done. Smart does.
[John] [grins, turns around and kisses Aaron] That's why I like you. You've always got the right thing to say.
[Aaron] [stands with a serious expression] You forgot to mention something. [pauses, then smiles] You could have said I'm always completely honest. And almost always right. When I say you're smart, I'm honest AND right!
[John] Okay. You've made me feel better. But I've got to finish this frickin' term paper. I've got to finish it before bed time. It's due tomorrow.
[STAGING] John sits and stares at the computer but immediately leans back and stares at the ceiling.. Aaron returns to the bed to resumes reading. John turns around to face Aaron.
[John] Hey, I forgot to tell you. I think I know who told the coach we're gay.
[Aaron] Really? Who?
[John] I can't be sure but it seems to add up. Jason told me that Reggie made some comments about us being queer. Jason told him that was crazy. Reggie was insistent. Claimed there was no other reason for a Black guy and a White guy to be such good friends. So Jason brushed him off by saying, "You don't know what you're talking about. All you know for sure is that they're both great ball players who happen to be friends. Even if they are queer, so what?" That pissed Reggie off and he walked away.
[Aaron] Reggie, huh? [pauses] He does fit the stereotype of a homophobic. As well as a racist. And a racist will invent any excuse to explain away what he thinks is unacceptable. But we can't be sure he's the one who talked to the coach. It could be anybody. [pause] Or nobody.
[John] Nobody? What do you mean?
[Aaron] Maybe the coach made up the story of somebody telling him that we're queer.
[John] NO! He wouldn't do that!
[Aaron] Probably not. Unless he's a closet racist.
[John] [showing surprise] How could he be? Half the team is black. And he chewed out a player for using the nigger term.
[Aaron] Hear me out. We know he's homophobic. He quoted the bible to us, didn't he? It's possible that he couldn't accept us being good friends ... unless there was more to it than just friendship. Like maybe a sexual attraction. If he's racist it would be ... in his mind ... a way to make sense of us being good friends.
[John] It's possible, I suppose. But not very likely. He's never shown any antagonism to Blacks.
[Aaron] No. Because he needs good ball players to win games ... and keep his job. You've heard about the mark of Cain?
[John] As in Cain and Abel?
[Aaron] Right. God put a mark on Cain for murdering Abel. Not all but some Christian denominations say that mark was a black skin. If the coach is super-religious and believes the Bible ... or at least his pastor's interpretation of the Bible ... he would think "lying with a man" is an abomination. He may also believe that you bear the mark of Cain as punishment for Cain's transgression.
[John] [pauses to think] There's too many IF's in your logic. For example, IF he's a religious fanatic, why would he hate gays and not show hatred for Blacks?
[Aaron] Homophobia is common in society. But society condemns racism. He can be a gay-basher and still do his job. Very few people would criticize him for disapproving of homosexuality. But if he's recognized as a racist he'd be fired.
[John] Maybe so. But we can't be sure.
[Aaron] No, we can't. But my theory is possible, isn't it?
[John] Possible? Yes. Probable? I don't think so. It's all ... what's it called? ... Conjecture.
[Aaron] Right. Let's just hope anybody else Reggie talked to is as dubious as Jason was. We've been very careful. And will continue to be careful. And continue to enjoy each other's company. On the field. Off the field. [Grins] And in bed!
[John] [Returns the grin] How `bout a quickie right now?
[Aaron] [scowling] Not now! You've got a term paper to finish. Remember?
[STAGING] Stage lights go completely off, leaving the stage and theater in total darkness for four seconds. When the lights come back on, Aaron is not on stage. John is at work on the computer but immediately stands.
[John] DONE! Ten pages! I don't know if it will get a decent grade but, by God, I'm finished. [looks around the room] Aaron! Aaron!
[STAGING] Stage lights dim. John walks to the center of the stage apron and talks to the audience. Spotlight illuminates him.
[John] Where'd he go? Probably to go pee. I finished my term paper but I've got another problem to tackle. One that I've been avoiding for too long. Aaron probably has the same problem. But neither of us has had the courage to talk about it. And we have to. We should have done it last April when I was drafted by the Ravens. [laughs] Would you believe it? Aaron didn't even know that before '96 they were the Browns. Anyway, he acted very happy for me. I remember clearly his reaction when I hesitated about signing the contract. "What are you thinking?" he asked me. "Playing pro ball is what you always wanted," he said. That part was true. I do want to play in the NFL. But I knew that means giving up something very special ... Aaron. Yeah, that's right. We started out as friends. Became good friends. Both of us were horny and frustrated so we shared a bed for a few weeks. The sex has been wonderful. But it's a totally different now. It's not just "Bif Bam, Thanks Man." You see, I've grown to love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He hasn't said so but I think he feels the same way about me. Ain't that a kettle o' fish? We found each other. We found happiness together. I've reached one goal ... playing in the NFL ... but I'm LOSING something ... no, someONE ... someone that I cherish. If only there was a way to.... [pauses and hangs his head] But there isn't. DAMMIT!
[STAGING] Stage lights come back on. John walks slowly upstage and sits on the bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. Aaron enters the room, sees John, and drops some envelopes on the bed.
[Aaron] [showing concern] Something wrong?
[John] [without looking up] Yes!
[Aaron] What is it? Still having trouble with your term paper?
[John] No. It's finished.
[Aaron] So what's bothering you?
[STAGING] John does not reply. Aaron sits on the bed and puts his arm around John's shoulders.
[Aaron] Talk to me, buddy. What's troubling you?
[STAGING] [John gets up, walks to the window, and stares out at the darkened campus.]
[Aaron] JOHN! Tell me what's wrong. Talk to me, dammit!
[John] [without turning around] Graduation! That's what's wrong!
[Aaron] Excuse me! I thought graduation was something special. And happy. It's what you worked so hard for. It's a reward for all your efforts.
[John] [turns around and half-sits on the window sill] Win some ... lose some. Just like football games. Only different. You never win and lose in the same game.
[Aaron] Maybe I'm dense but I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Spell it out for me.
[STAGING] John walks over to his desk chair, sits, and looks at Aaron
[John] Sorry. I guess I'm too uptight right now to make any sense. Graduation will be bitter sweet. I win a college degree. But I lose something I love. Do I have to make it more clear? I love YOU, Aaron. LOVE! As in wanting to be with you forever! Graduation means I'm off to play for the Ravens and you're off to a fancy job with GM in Detroit. That would be okay if we were nothing more than two horny gays having sex. But it's much more than that for me. It's more than just physical gratification. Much more. It's an emotional bond. Lately when we're in bed hugging each other before falling asleep, I feel like ... How do I say this to make any sense? I feel like you're part of me. And I'm part of you. We're ONE. Without you I'm not whole. [shakes his head and pauses] SHIT! I'm not making any sense, am I?
[STAGING] Aaron walks over and kneels in front of John, places his hands on John's thighs, and looks up at him.
[Aaron] Perfect sense, John. You said what you feel beautifully. Listen to me. Listen carefully. I've wanted to say something similar to you. Yes. Even back when you were drafted. But I held it inside me. Why? Because I didn't want to screw up your playing pro ball. I didn't feel I had the right to be an obstacle to reaching a goal that meant so much to you. Yes, John, I love you, too. And seeing you succeed gives me great joy. But having to lose you is painful.
[STAGING] John stands, pulls Aaron to his feet, and locks him in a tight embrace. Aaron returns the hug with equal vigor. Suddenly, John forcefully pulls away and turns his back on Aaron. He rubs his eyes.
[Aaron] Now what's wrong?
[John] It's nothing. Just got something in my eye.
[Aaron] Both eyes? At the same time?
[John] Okay, smart ass! I'm crying! How `bout that? A grown man ... a tough, macho jock is crying.
[Aaron] Nothing at all wrong with that. Grown men can cry. Even jocks.
[John] Maybe so. Just don't do it in front of the team. Right?
[Aaron] [turns John around and faces him, smiling] I'm a team member.
[John] There you go again! Making jokes to cheer me up. Well it won't work. God dammit, you're not just a teammate. I love you. You're an important part of my life.
[Aaron] Sorry. I was trying to do lighten up the mood so I wouldn't cry along with you. And I recognize the macho culture and testosterone-laden atmosphere on a football team. So I'd never tell anyone about your crying ... or my crying with you.
[STAGING] They embrace tightly again, each with his head on the other's shoulder. They separate but hold hands, looking at each other lovingly.
[John] So where did you disappear to earlier. I didn't even hear you leave.
[Aaron] Downstairs to the mail boxes. I tried to be quiet so you could finish your term paper. Oh. There's a letter from your folks.
[STAGING] Aaron retrieves one envelope from the bed and hands it to John who opens it eagerly. While John reads the letter, Aaron sorts through the rest of the mail, tossing most of it in the waste basket
[John] Sonofabitch! Listen to this. [Reading part of the letter] Strange things happening. Got a letter with no return address. Inside was two airline tickets to Detroit. Reservations for Hotel in Ann Arbor. And a car rental. Both paid for. Even a map to get to the Hotel. And get this. A bank check for 200 dollars. Can't figure out who sent it. It wasn't you cause you don't got that kinda money and would of told us anyhow. So it looks like we'll be attending your graduation. If you know who sent it, thank em for us.
[STAGING] John looks up and glares at Aaron.
[John] It was you that sent it. Right? Who else would do it? Don't lie to me. Was it you?
[Aaron] I've never lied to you. I may not have said something a time or two ... like the fact that I love you. But I've never lied. And I won't now. Yes. I sent it. Your graduation means as much to your folks as it does to you.
[John] [emphatically] You shouldn't have done it! That's...
[Aaron] [interrupting and holding up his hand palm forward] Stop right there! And don't start objecting about not telling you. I did it because I wanted to. I wanted you ... and your folks ... to be happy. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
[John] That's gotta be a bunch of money. And I ...
[Aaron] [interrupting again] I said stop it! I tapped into my trust fund. Now that I'm twenty one, I can spend the money any damn way I please. And I can't think of any way better than this to spend it on. The deed is done, John. Now just do what your folks asked you to do in the letter.
[John] [Looks confused for a moment, then silently reads the letter again] Oh. I see. Thank you, Aaron. [pauses] But it WAS sneaky. You shoulda told me about it.
[Aaron] Maybe I should have. But I knew you would object ... loud and long. I didn't want to start an argument ... or worse, have you change your mind about going pro. As it is, I have a very good feeling about it. Believe me. Making you and your folks happy makes me happy. So in a way, I did it as much for me as for you.
[John] I'll pay you back.
[Aaron] Don't you DARE even TRYING to. That would totally screw up the pleasure I got from doing it.
[STAGING] John earnestly gazes at his lover for a few moments
[John] [wiping his eyes again] You're something else, Aaron. Something special. I was right when I told the coach you're righteous.
[Aaron] [smiling broadly] Even though I sneak behind you back when I could have told you in advance?
[John] BECAUSE you did it. I can see now it was an act of love.
[Aaron] I'm glad you see it that way. As Thoreau said ... "It's not what you look at that matters ... [pause]
[Aaron and John] [slowly, in unison] It's what you SEE."
[STAGING] John and Aaron laugh, embrace, and kiss passionately as the curtain falls and house lights come on..
******************** ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Iatia has helped me greatly in the past but especially so with this script. His meticulous editing is remarkable as usual. But his advice and suggestions on plot, staging, and script writing techniques have been extraordinarily helpful. ********************