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AUTHOR'S NOTE
Shout out to my Facebook buddy "Marko the Magnificent" (the one in suburban Pittsburgh not Portland) who was kind enough to suggest this story. He also provided "expert" observations on all things Catholic mentioned in this story. I hope y'all enjoy "my" latest adventure with my favorite UPS Guy "Troy". While I'm thinking about it--DISCLAIMER TIME! This is a work of PURE FANTASY!!! Any resemblance to persons living, dead or working for a Delivery Service are purely coincidental.
Now it's confession time: the original story was a "one off" but it seems to have caught fire with a certain segment of the Nifty readership. If you have any plot suggestions for further adventures of "Troy" and "me" drop a note to HonableRonable@gmail.com or RonVenable@hotmail.com and share your ideas! If I use them you WILL be credited. Likewise, if you wish to be notified when I publish new content you can use either of the above addresses and I'll make sure you are among the first to know when something comes up.
CHAPTER THREE: Quinciniera
April turned into May and the United States opened back up (against the advice of most Healthcare Professionals but if the shutdown had continued there might have been no recovery). Rather unexpectedly, I found myself agreeing to host my Housekeeper Luzmaria's daughter Analisa's "Quinciniera", a Mexican tradition when young ladies turned fifteen and were "officially" introduced into society. Luzmaria's family had planned the event for a local restaurant but the place didn't survive the lockdown and they couldn't find another venue. In the end I volunteered the use of my home to host around a hundred perfect strangers who spoke a language I could barely comprehend.
"Why am I doing this again?" I asked Troy as we both sweated to get the place set up. "I've clearly lost my mind! Right?"
My favorite UPS guy took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. (Even sweaty he smelled great and looked better!) "You're doing this because, in spite of everything, you care about Luzmaria!" he told me. "You know Analisa has been looking forward to this party for at least a year and you'd hate to see her disappointed! Face it babe--you may want the world to believe you're a crusty old Bachelor but everyone who knows and loves you like we do knows you're a big ol' Teddy Bear with a gooshy center!"
Luzmaria inserted herself into our "snuggle-fest": "you two es-STINK!" she informed us. "Go get cleaned up so I can make sure your bat'room is presentable! I'll have clothes laid out on your bed..."
"I'll wash your back..." Troy offered. "AND your hair..."
Much as I would have loved to luxuriate in the shower with my beefy boyfriend I could hear voices downstairs and heard people tromping around in the 3rd Floor Ballroom above us; the last thing I needed was to have one of Luzmaria's myriad of "Sisters, Cousins and Aunts" pop in and get an eyeful. I made sure everything was squeaky-clean and ready for action should the opportunity arise (and, knowing Troy, "opportunity" arose on a daily basis--sometimes more often!)
We emerged from the Master Bath, far sooner than either of us would have liked, to find matching rose-pink "Guayabera" shirts (short sleeves with pleats and tone-on-tone embroidery), and khaki pants laid out. Along with some boxer briefs for each of us, Troy had his favorite "dress sandals" while I had my comfortable brown suede Hush Puppies. Where Luzmaria had found the pink socks that just matched the shirts she selected was a mystery--as were the shirts. (They certainly hadn't come from my closet!) "Get dressed!" Luzmaria ordered from the door. We hurried to comply, not wanting to risk her wrath. Luckily neither of us needed a shave and we had brushed our teeth before we got in the shower so we were good on that front.
There was a knock on the bedroom door and a stunningly-handsome Latino peeked in. "'Tia' sent me in to see if you needed help with your hair..." he informed us. My hair was kept super-short (since I had a high forehead) and Troy could finger-comb his; neither of us were big on "product", preferring just basic shampoo and conditioner.
"We're good, but thanks..." I said distractedly. I felt like I'd met this guy before but I couldn't put a name to the face. "I'm sorry," I finally said lamely. "Have we--met--before?"
"Rolando Gomez," he informed me.
"Oh right!" I exclaimed. "Luzmaria was all excited because you're the first of her family to graduate college! What are you doing now?"
"Postgraduate studies..." he told me without elaborating, "but when I'm home I still help out in my Dad's Barber Shop. That's where we met!"
"Ah yes..." Now I remembered! And I was embarrassed!!! I'd watched Rolando grow up from a gawky kid to the personification of "rico suave". He liked to wear tight jeans to show off his muscular thighs and beefy bootie and shirts that highlighted his equally well-developed chest and arms. Knowing he was one of Luzmaria's relatives I'd never made a move on him, even though I was fairly sure he was flirting! (Of course, maybe that was for the generous tips I gave him and his father).
"Nice shirts!" he observed. "Too bad you aren't wearin' something to show yourselves off! You been workin' out Doc?"
"Actually, I have!" I admitted proudly. "Troy here has been acting as my Personal Trainer!"
"Ooh..." Rolando lowered his lashes. "I can see the two of you out in the Pool House in just your shoes and jocks!" My face turned scarlet because that's EXACTLY how we worked out and, often as not, Troy's sweaty jock often ended up in my mouth--before other things did...
"We'll see you downstairs Lando!" Troy said; as usual, he picked up my growing discomfort. My boyfriend made a "shooing" gesture and the interloper left us alone. "He's cute..." Troy observed.
"He is..." I agreed, "but he's also Luzmaria's Nephew!"
"AND he's flirting!" Troy said, flashing his heart-melting smile. "You KNOW you wanna hit that, Doc!"
"What I want is irrelevant!" I countered. "I value Luzmaria way too much to get involved with one of her family members! Never gonna happen!"
"Never say `never' Doc!" Troy countered. "That boy has PLANS!"
The party went better than I'd hoped; it turned out I knew a good many of the adult visitors who worked in various businesses I frequented. Analisa attended the local Catholic High School and her mother had invited several of the Staff including Vice Principal Sister Justin--who managed to terrify me even though I was an adult Protestant. None of the kids tried to sneak alcohol and I didn't detect the scent of "wacky tabaccy" in the air. The few smokers were directed to my outdoor "Smoking Patio" which they respected. (I've thrown out family members for smoking in my house and I wasn't about to tolerate it from total strangers.)
Luzmaria stationed her Grandmother "La Bruja" at my Liquor Cabinet so nobody bothered my private stash. Besides, there was plenty of Corona and Dos Equis for the adults who wanted beer and an excellent array of Tequila for those who wanted something harder. Thanks to Ancho's Food Truck there was enough delicious Mexican Food for twice as many guests who showed up (and there were over a hundred of those.
I'll admit I could have done without the "Mexican" music playing in my Third Floor Ballroom but everyone up there seemed to have a rip-roaring good time. I was mortified when Troy dragged me out on the floor: I'm not the best dancer to begin with and being on display like that in public just seemed to ramp up my inhibitions to previously undreamed-of heights. (Frankly, I was worried that Luzmaria's family might be a little "judgey" but most of them (with the notable exception of Sister Bertrille) kept their comments and stares to themselves. I did hear a few words like "Novio" (sweetheart) tossed around but nobody raised an objection--not even when Troy kissed me full on the lips at the end of our song.
Analisa politely asked me to dance (after asking the DJ to play a "slow" song and this seemed to please even the disapproving Sister Bertrille. Some of the Aunties and family friends asked me to dance with them as well and I managed not to embarrass myself. Things seemed to be going fairly well until I found myself dancing with my next-door neighbor Mrs. Goldfarb.
"So!" she said in her usual accusing way. "You've moved the UPS guy in..."
"Jealous?" I quipped. I knew this conversation was going to go South and fast.
"Hardly!" she replied. "Yes, I suppose he's good-looking enough--if you go for that `brutish' sort of man! But, my God RJ, you're a DOCTOR! What can you have in common with someone like that? Or are you just in it for the sex? Brian was a MUCH better match for you!"
Oh God, the bitch just brought up He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named! "Mrs. Goldfarb--in case you've FORGOTTEN..." I said, maybe a bit too forcefully, "Brian dumped ME! He moved on without looking back! And, by the way, the sex is AMAZING!"
"One has to wonder what HE'S getting out of the deal..." she said with venomous glee, trying to twist the knife a little more. "I do hope you're watching your bank accounts Doctor..."
That was more than enough. "Mrs. Goldfarb--thanks for your concern..." I said, walking her off the dance floor, "but I'm doing fine! Unlike the unlamented Brian, Troy pays rent! He hasn't asked me for anything! Not only that, he's given back pretty much everything I've tried to give him. You may not realize it but Troy is good for me. Since he moved in I've lost weight and picked up my exercise! Bud and Belle like him and Luzmaria LOVE'S him! YOUR approval is neither needed nor wanted--but thank you for your concern!"
"Well--I--NEVER!" Mrs. Goldfarb stomped off, heading downstairs to find someone to complain to about the horrible treatment I'd given her.
"What a bitch!" Rolando caught me before I could get too far into myself. "I don't know why Tia even invited her!"
"I have a pretty good idea..." I allowed.
"Ooh! Do tell!" Rolando exclaimed.
"If she wasn't invited she'd have called the Cops half a dozen times by now!" I told him. "Everyone on this street has pretty much learned to invite her to every social function because we'll be visited by the local Constabulary if we don't!"
"Bet she'll have a lot to say about this party!" the Latin Hottie said. "WHY did Doctor V let all those MEXICANS in his house! It's a wonder if they don't steal him BLIND!"
"You know Mrs. Goldfarb?" I quipped.
"Her type..." Rolando admitted.
"Her type?"
"Some people like her think we're fine for cleaning their houses and mowing their lawns," he said. "We can work in restaurants--maybe even own one, so long as it's Latin Food. We can do hair but otherwise we're just shiftless trash who shouldn't be here!"
"I suppose now isn't the time to tell her that your family preceded mine in California by over a hundred years," I quipped. "My Plauget ancestors didn't even land in the States `til after the Civil War! And I'm sure Mrs. Goldfarb's people came even later!"
"Yes," he said, "but your ancestors were WHITE!" he said.
"And hers were Jewish," I replied. "There were times, not that long ago, and places--even now--where that would be enough to make her part of the `Less Than' Club!"
"So, Doc, how come you think you're part of that club?" he asked. "It looks like you have it all--if you ask me..."
"I suppose..." I replied a bit hesitantly. "Yes, I've got a great career a wonderful home and a sweet boyfriend! That really ought to be enough right?" I had lived frugally, saving every penny I could to pay off the massive debt I had incurred in college and Medical School. There were no new cars for me and I lived in small, inexpensive apartments picking up extra shifts where I could just so I could make a few extra bucks to apply toward getting out from under my student loans. My beautiful, three-story Tudor had been a total wreck when I bought it; I did a lot of the repairs myself and only contracted out the jobs I couldn't do. Yes, the place was gorgeous now (and most folks didn't know it was largely furnished with flea market finds that I'd restored and upcycled myself). This lifestyle had put a real crimp in my social life so when Brian left me I found myself alone at 48 with no real idea how to get back on the dating horse. Yes, Troy was wonderful, but part of me wondered why a hot guy was with a loser like me. I even wondered why "Lando" was wasting his time with me. "I guess I'm just an emotional fuck up..." I finally said lamely.
"You really ought to get over that!" the Latin hottie told me.
I gave him a wry grin. "You're not the first person to say that," I replied. "Tell me how and, I promise, I'll get right on it!"
Lando struck an artist-model pose that thrust his hip out and threw his chest and arm muscles into sharp display. "You could start by appreciating what's right in front of you!" he purred.
"I'm totally appreciating it!" I admitted.
"But you're not DOING anything about it!" He pursed his full lips. "Frank, Frank, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!"
I laughed. "Did you watch M.A.S.H. recently?" I asked. "I hadn't heard that line in years!"
"I love old movies!" he told me. "Old TV too--we used to watch Nick at Nite ™ and TV Land all the time; that's how my parents learned English! Tia too..."
I didn't know that!" I admitted. "It explains a few things though..."
"Like how Tia always spoils the punch lines of your dumb jokes?"
"Among other things..." I replied.
Lando changed the subject. "Come downstairs with me, Doc!" he said. It seemed he also wanted a change of scenery as well. "There's a little something they are reserving for `special' guests..."
He led me into the Library where Sister Justin, in full Dominican Habit, looking at one of my bound "Legion of Superheroes" Graphic novels from the Dave Cockrum period: she seemed to be spending rather a lot of time studying Cosmic Boy's "girdle" uniform from that period. "Enjoying my Library Sister?" I asked, determined to get a tiny bit of my own back considering how the imposing woman terrified me.
"More wondering why you'd have something like THIS in here..." she replied, giving me a disapproving look. "It's trash!"
"Call it a fond memory of childhood," I told her. "The `Legion' taught me how to read--without that comic book I wouldn't be who I am today! You're welcome to borrow my copy if you'd like..."
Scandalized, the Nun dropped the book. "Thank you Doctor, but no!" she said stiffly and departed the room. I wondered if she was off to find Luzmaria to give her an earful.
"She is SO busted!" Lando bent over to pick up the book. "Hoo-BOY!" he exclaimed. "Can I borrow it Doc?"
"Sure!" I replied. "Just make sure it comes back in the same condition I lent it to you! Let me make sure there's a book plate in it before you take it though..."
"I value my Library and its contents very highly," I told him as I fetched the sticker with my name and put it inside the front cover. "Say what you will, that's just part of my OCD rearing its ugly head!"
"You really ARE fucked up Doc!"
I nodded. "It's mild," I told him, "and I've made it work for me over the years. Luckily I don't have to count tiles in bathrooms or check my doors twenty times to make sure they are locked but I do lead a VERY organized life and I like it that way!"
I turned around to find Lando had two shot glasses and several bottles of Tequila. "This is Cocoanut Tequila..." he informed me, before downing the contents. "Try it!"
"That's--different..." I said after downing my own Shot. "Not that I'm really a Tequila Connoisseur."
"Does Tequila make your clothes fall off?" he asked with a mischievous wink.
"I--try not to get drunk," I admitted. "I don't like losing control..."
"So!" he said with a broad, leering grin, "Tequila DOES make your clothes fall off! Ready for another shot? Strawberry Tequila this time..." Without waiting for a reply, he poured the next one. "Down the hatch!" Sweet-hot fire poured down my gullet as I upended the glass. As with most booze, all I seemed to be able to taste was the alcohol but I detected some strawberry flavor under the burn. "So--what do you think Doc?"
"It's OK..." I said, trying to be gracious.
"You're not a fan!" Lando told me. "In that case only one more shot--Dark Chocolate this time!"
This time the stuff in my shot glass was opaque and nearly the color of black coffee. The "Tequila burn" was still there but either I was getting used to it or the bittersweet chocolate notes were more pronounced in this stuff. It reminded me a bit of Kahlua--which I could drink in plenty if I were in a drinking mood. "Now THAT'S good!" I finally allowed.
After that I might have been willing to sample more of the various Tequilas but one of the Cousins found us and let us know Analisa was opening her gifts and Luzmaria wanted me there. "She says to tell you that when that is done all the guests will clear out!" This was music to my ears; in spite of everything I'd enjoyed sharing my home with these kind strangers (and it made me happy to do something nice for Luzmaria's family).
Analisa's gifts included the usual--a Rosary, two Bibles (English and Spanish) several pieces of jewelry and cash gifts. Her eyes lit up when she opened my envelope and read the note that I was providing her a $1500 Scholarship to whatever college she would attend. "Oh my God Doctor V!" she exclaimed. "This is so AWESOME!" Her friends were equally surprised and envious but her family was effusively grateful.
"Happy to do it!" I said--and I actually was.
As if by some pre-determined signal, the Quinciniera guests began saying their goodbyes. Luzmaria promised she'd be back to clean up the place first thing in the morning and I was just as happy to be alone (with Troy of course) in my home. As was my custom I let the dogs out for one final late-night "pottie" break then made a circuit of all the downstairs rooms to make sure the doors and windows were locked. Troy was doing a brief clean-up in the kitchen and setting up the coffee so we could start the morning right. This finished, we headed upstairs to find Rolando, bare-ass naked laying on my King Size Bed, legs spread while he jacked his fat six-inch cock!
"Did you have anything to do with this?" I asked Troy, instantly suspicious.
"Nope!" he replied, "but I TOLD you he had plans..."
"Lando, you have to go!" I said.
"Really?" he replied. "Do you WANT me to go Doc?" He moved his gaze to Troy. "Do you...?"
"Not my call to make!" my boyfriend replied. "RJ--it's clear Lando wants us! If you REALLY want me to I'll escort his ass out!"
"That's just it," I told him. "I DON'T want him to go! But if Luzmaria finds out she'll never forgive me!"
"I'M not going to tell her!" the Latin hottie said with a lascivious wink. "I don't think Troy will tell her so that just leaves you..."
There was no way my Housekeeper was going to find this out from me! I valued Luzmaria too much to lose her over a one-time fling. But then Troy was looking at me with that sweet "he followed me home can we KEEP him?" look on his face and I knew I was done for. "If this goes wrong I'm going to murder one or both of you!" I finally told them. My body had betrayed me though and both of them saw the evidence of the erection outlined in my khaki pants. "Fine!" I exclaimed. "You win..."
I came back from my nighttime ritual to find Troy as naked as Lando. My boyfriend was straddling the muscular Latino's chest and feeding him his fat seven and a half inches--and judging by the eager ease Lando was swallowing Troy's thick manhood this wasn't nearly the first cock the kid had taken. "Doc, you gotta try this mouth!" Troy panted.
"You sure you're ready to give it up?" I asked.
Lando came off Troy's cock. "He can eat my ass and get me ready for your cocks!" he said. Troy was all for that plan as he moved down to tease the young Latino's assbud with his talented tongue.
"How old are you Lando?" I asked, needing to know.
"I turned 22 on Cinco de Mayo!" he informed me. Four days previous made him completely legal by more than a year. "As you can probably tell I'm no virgin! I've been sucking dick since I was thirteen and I got my ass fucked for the first time on my fifteenth birthday. If I'm `corrupted', you didn't do it!"
I finally gave in and moved over to take Troy's place on Lando's chest; he swallowed my six inches easily (not surprising since he'd been swabbing his tonsils with Troy's longer and thicker meat) and I had to admit--the boy knew how to suck cock! Lando was humming happily around his mouthful and I could see his hips arch to get Troy's tongue even deeper into his cleft. "How's that mouth Doc?" Troy asked. "Good?"
"Not as good as yours but definitely in the Top Ten!" I said. What I didn't tell Lando was that the total number of partners I'd been with was well under that number! Still, Lando had a real gift for cock-sucking and he really seemed to be enjoying the experience at least as much as me!
Lando pulled off my cock. "I was hoping for Top Five!" he informed me.
"Keep it up!" I replied, "and maybe I'll re-evaluate!"
"Or you could fuck this sweet little ass!" Troy suggested. "I think he's open for business back here!" To prove his point, my boyfriend slicked up a couple of fingers and slipped first one then both into Lando's tight tunnel.
"Oh--FUCK yeah!" our Latino Houseguest grunted. "Fuck me Doc then Troy can have a turn!" I changed positions with Troy as he handed me a condom which he rolled onto my wet erection and this seemed to surprise Lando. "You use CONDOMS? How--quaint!"
"Doc's house, Doc's rules!" Troy informed the young man as I slipped inside his tight ass. "You're clearly no Virgin so you've been around the block a few times--better to play safe than sorry!"
"Whatever!" Lando growled. "Just fuck me already!"
So, fuck him I did--slowly at first but with increasing vigor as Lando got used to me inside him. Our visitor grunted lustily as I thrust into his tightness again and again until I felt my balls draw up and explode as I filled the condom. "You're turn Troy!" I said, sliding off to watch my lover take Lando.
My boyfriend took my place and slid into Lando's ass; I saw our Latino houseguest's eyes go wide in surprise as Troy's length and thickness filled up his hole. Even though I'd already loosened him up and both hole and sheathed cock were well greased it took him a bit to get used to the length and thickness buried inside him. "How's that feel?" I asked, a wry smile on my face.
"How do you take that fuckin' thing, Doc?" Lando grunted.
"You get used to it after a while," I told him. And Lando DID get used to it soon enough, it wasn't long before he was yowling like a cat in heat and begging Troy to "fuck me, fuck me HARD!" which my boyfriend was too happy to oblige. I got so turned on watching the show they put on I ended up shooting another load all over the pair of them when Troy forced Lando into a "hands free" orgasm with just the power of his mighty member!"
"Oh fuck guys!" Lando panted. "Thanks--that was amazing..." He was asleep in a few minutes and I soon followed him there...
I awoke the next morning to a rain of curses in Spanish. I sat up bleary and confused, the morning sun stabbing my sleepy eyes to see Luzmaria, angrier than I've ever seen her before. "How COULD you do this!" she finally screamed in English. "Rolando was going to be a PRIEST!!!"
"Oh--shit..."
END CHAPTER THREE