Introspection
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This document contains homosexual themes and acts. If you are underage or don't like the subject, then don't read it.
The story is not autobiographical and is a product of the writer's fertile imagination.
Comments preecherdave@gmail.com
Something was on Peter's mind. You cannot be with a guy for over a year without noticing those small changes and signals. We were at breakfast on a Saturday morning, drinking our reviving coffee, both of us are addicted enough that we have to have that first cup, eating a simple breakfast and reading the Globe and Mail on our iPads. We had been out the night before at a club with friends and danced until we were ready to drop. That didn't stop us when we arrived home.
My memory went back to last night. I had worked hard all week, up early and home after 6 and our sex life had been a bit sparse. Well, not our often once in the morning and repeat at bedtime. I was really keyed up from the week and the dancing. OK, I was horny as hell and as it turned out so was Peter. I had given him a not so chaste kiss as we arrived at my car after leaving the club. I had mumbled to him to drive safely but fast enough because I had plans for when we got home. He had looked a bit surprised as that was not my usual style to be so blatant and verbal. Well, I guess my hand had also gone to places it didn't usually go to in public. He finally had looked at me smiling, telling me to bring it on.
I arrived back first. I must have been really randy. I was waiting for him at the door. When he entered the condo, I had forced him against the wall and invaded his mouth. Being the well brought up man he was, he had reciprocated with equal vigour. I had him naked in a very few minutes with his clothes strewn around the entrance way, in fact his pants and shorts were still around his ankles when, I, still fully clothed, had knelt in front of him and had taken him in my mouth. He moaned loudly when I took him all the way into my throat.
"Shit Paul, I don't know what you are on, but hell it is great."
I was a little taken back by the comment but my lust was in full flight and I passed it off as a random compliment. Was it a compliment? Was this so unusual? I'd have to reflect on that later. I came off him and led him to our bed. I playfully pushed him on the bed and stripped quickly. I had, with some grand gestures, taken the lube out of the drawer, opened it with a flourish and put a lot in him. In fact, I had used my finger and then fingers in and out of him for over a minute until he was moaning and his body moving erratically back and forth. My other hand and fingers were touching and squeezing his nipples. Again with a flourish, I had applied the lube to my very red cock and had entered with some care but I was soon fucking him hard, fast and deep. He was making little guttural noises in his throat. His hands were all over my back with light touches and then with scratches that were going to leave marks. I retaliated with kisses to his neck and chest that were going to leave some impressions as well.
This was not love making; it was aggressive, lusty sex. I allowed myself to back off once and then came back with a vengeance. Soon I was at the brink and then went in all the way and held. I made a lot of noise. We hadn't had sex since Thursday morning and I came a lot, shuddering as the each pulse fired the nerves in my body. As soon as I came down a bit and regained my breath, I came out and my mouth was on him. I could feel the wetness in him when I put my finger in him. He lasted just over a minute and my mouth was filled. I asked him if he wanted to share and he nodded yes and we did. He was still wet when I entered him again this morning.
We hadn't said a lot about last night but he was obviously, a little surprised and pleased by my impromptu performance. Still, there was something on his mind. Finally, after about 30 minutes, I asked him if there was something bothering him.
He looked at me and with no preamble, he got it out. "Paul, I met a guy a week ago at a work out and we got to talking and he wondered if you and I would like to go his place tonight and be with his partner and him."
"Interesting choice of words, 'Be with his partner and him'? Go out dancing, supper, a movie?"
"Well, he indicated that we could eat and then do whatever the mood would lead us to do."
Peter and I had never made vows of monogamy or eternal vows of love. I guess we had never really discussed sex with other couples or with other partners for that matter. We had been tested and didn't use condoms. I had wondered if on his business trips he might have indulged in doing things that his mood might him lead to. I had found some condoms a while back but had assumed they were left overs. I never had had done anything on my trips; I guess I just assumed that we had the same frame of reference. If this was what he meant, it really was right out of left field and only hours before we would see where the mood would lead us. I was left not knowing what to say. I decided to see if my thoughts were correct.
"What do you mean? What exactly might that entail?"
"Well, you know it could lead to some pretty exciting, different things that we have never down before."
"You are asking me to go to someone's place that I have never met and possibly find out that someone there was in the mood for let us say, going to bed and having sex, him with his partner with us watching or visa versa or we might just mix it up?"
"We would have to see where the mood would lead us. That is where the excitement comes in. I know that is a little last minute but we can back out now or this afternoon.
"It sounds to me as if the deal has been struck."
"Well, I did indicate that I was interested and would ask you. After last night, I thought that you might just be interested. You were incredible."
My mind was racing. My little impromptu act indicated I was really a sex fiend, who would like to go out and fuck with total strangers? Well my mind reflected, strangers to me, perhaps not to Peter. This had been set up before last night; last night was just a justification. I asked for a few minutes to collect my thoughts. His look was one of relief; I hadn't said no immediately so I was considering his suggestion.
My 'partner' wanted to go. If I didn't, would he go by himself, tonight or some other time and I would be left in the dark? Would it be better to see what was happening and have some say in it? Could I control a situation like that? We had never pledged monogamy. Was I just being a puritan, an unadventurous drag? Was I afraid of him meeting others? He could do that by himself; I recognized that. Maybe it would be interesting? I had never done anything quite like this. I made a snap decision.
"Peter, do you really want to do this?"
"Honestly, yes."
"Why?"
"As I said, it could add a little extra excitement to our relationship. It would be an experience that has just fallen in our laps."
I told him I would go but that I had reservations about sex with other couples. He assured me that we wouldn't do anything that I didn't want. I felt slightly mollified. He sounded quite upbeat, perhaps quite excited when he phoned Matthew.
We arrived at Matthew and Andrew's place at 7 for supper and drinks. I noticed that as we came in that Matthew and Peter greeted each other very warmly. Andrew and I were more reserved but Andrew greeted me more warmly than Matthew did. I internally shrugged my shoulders. They provided a good hearty supper with lots of wine, interesting conversation and then drinks after. Andrew and I had talked quietly about some movies that we had seen and enjoyed and about our jobs.
After supper, Peter and Matthew were more vocal and obviously had a little more to drink. After a bit of conversation, Matthew put on some music and suggested that we dance. He also suggested that we change partners for the dance. He put on some fairly fast music first and I danced with Andrew and did have some fun. Andrew was a good dancer and we had some good moves.
After a few dances, Andrew said that he was thirsty and suggested we go to the kitchen to get a drink. We got some and stayed talking about work and other things. He was an interesting guy but more reserved than his partner, Matthew. I eventually noticed that the music had turned slower, more moody and romantic. I looked at Andrew and commented on the music He told me that Matthew had been quite excited about tonight and led him to believe that we were interested in switching partners for the night. He said that he was not sure that he wanted that but if I did, he would go along with it. I was surprised that Matthew had been so outright. Peter certainly hadn't been. I told him that I had not been keen as this was not my style. He nodded his understanding.
We went back into the living room. I knew Peter well. He and Matthew were dancing very close. I noticed that each were caressing the others butt. I could see that his eyes were becoming brighter and brighter. That was the way he looked when he was becoming sexually charged. In fact, I realized that I hadn't seen him this engaged in a long time. I was a little put out; I was doing my understatement thing. I wondered how far it would go. Then I told myself that I knew exactly where it was headed. When Peter finally focused on me, his eyes were bright but almost glazed over in lust. I looked at him and signalled that I wanted to talk to him in the kitchen. He whispered something in Matthew's ear. When they disengaged I could see that Matthew was almost fully hard. Christ he was big. He gave me a frosty look.
In the kitchen. Peter's first words were that I sure knew how to break a mood.
"Oh, so this is the mood that we were talking about this morning. I not sure that I am not in the same mood. I am very uncomfortable about this."
"Paul, dance with Andrew and get in the mood. He is a good looking, bright guy."
"He's not the guy I live with, have a relationship with and share my life with."
"No but relationships don't have to be entirely exclusive." He sounded as if he shouldn't have to explain this to anyone with any intelligence. "I didn't do this behind your back. I can still make my own decisions about what I want."
Wow it clicked in. It had been planned like this. He wanted this evening to end with him and Matthew together but invited me along so that he was not cheating if Andrew and I got together. Have his cake and eat it too. What do you do at this point? Andrew had actually looked embarrassed as we left the room.
"Peter, I am not on board with this. I cannot force you to stop but I don't want any part of it. It is your decision to make."
He gave me a look with narrowed eyes, almost disgust and walked out of the room. I followed slowly. What do you do in such a situation? I had had to make a quick decision from my gut. I hadn't left any room for negotiation. One of us had to back down. I was increasing angry, hurt and feeling stupid. I should have known that I couldn't control a situation like this.
Matthew and Andrew were having an animated conversation. Matthew was obviously angry and upset with his partner. The minute Matthew saw Peter his expression softened and he smiled a small, seductive smile.
"Everything sorted?" He said it as if Peter had had to deal with a recalcitrant child. He shrugged Andrew off, put on some music a little louder and started to dance with Peter. Andrew looked at me almost crestfallen and motioned to the kitchen.
"I am so sorry, Paul. I had a feeling that this was going to happen. I was hoping that maybe we could work this out but I think that we both feel the same. This is bloody awkward." We talked for a few minutes. When we came out into the living room, the guys were not there. I turned down the music. I could hear movement down the hall so I went down the hall towards the master suite. I wanted some last words with Peter. I looked in. They were turned sideways to the door and could not see me. Peter's shirt was unbuttoned and Matthew was running his hands over his chest. Peter had his hand messaging Matthew's cock through his pants. They were kissing very enthusiastically.
Finally, I heard Peter mutter, "Matt, you know what I like and where I want that big cock tonight, like last time."
"What about Paul?"
"He and Andrew will figure out something to do in the other bedroom. If not, their loss."
I turned and walked slowly back to the living room. "Andrew, this says nothing about you but I want to go home."
"I know. I should have said something but when Matthew wants something he is like a force of nature. I asked him not to embarrass us tonight. He said that we were all consenting adults."
So it was planned. "I feel really badly. Would you drive me home and we can talk a bit?"
"Yeah, I would like to get out of here too."
We talked in the car and he came in for a drink. He was a really articulate, interesting guy. Very grounded and positive. He too had had to make a decision about tonight and had received almost the same assurances from Matthew as I had received from Peter. Obviously, their mood had left them not willing to honour their promises to us. We both laughed that neither of us were in the mood that would lead anywhere tonight and so after an hour of chat that, at another time, would have been stimulating, he left.
I made up the bed in the den and decided that that was where I would sleep tonight. I had had enough of Peter for one day. When I finally slept, I slept well. I looked into our bedroom as I went to the kitchen the next morning. No Peter and the bed had not been slept in. He was not in the apartment. I decided to phone Andrew. He had given me their home number and his cell number. I got him on first ring on his cell. He was up. Peter and Matthew had not shown their faces yet. In fact, he muttered something about a lot of noise from the bedroom.
An inspiration hit me. "Andrew, want to meet me for breakfast?" He seemed pleased to be asked and anxious to get out of the condo. I couldn't blame him. I had decided that I didn't want to deal with Peter today. I needed time to think and plan. I packed an overnight bag and just left. No phone call from Peter as to his overnight whereabouts, no note from me. He had led me on. I knew that I was being vindictive and childish. I didn't care. I was a few minutes early so I went to one of the suites hotels, checked in and left my baggage. On the way out, I asked about weekly rates. A plan of action was forming in my head.
Andrew and I were both surprised. We could actually laugh about last night. Still for both of us, it was a bittersweet laugh. We went to other topics the news, movies in town. We enjoyed our breakfast together. We decided to go for a walk in the downtown market area. Being the mid spring it was full of produce from the south and the beginnings of local spring offerings. We decided to buy some cooked meats, a vegetable plate from a deli, some wonderful artisan buns and a small amount of butter. I suggested a bottle of wine which we picked up and headed for one of the large urban parks. It would be a picnic and then and a movie in the afternoon. We ate a delicious meal and revelled in the early spring sun. We went for a walk by the water, just enjoying ourselves. I guess that we had both decided to enjoy this strange day. The movie was great and we had a good discussion about it at supper in a good local, Italian restaurant.
The meal was over and it was obvious that it was time to leave. Andrew looked a little dismayed. "Strange, this has been a great day. I wish it didn't have to end right now and I wish that I didn't have to go home tonight. I just don't want to face him today. I feel so cheapened and let down." I found Andrew very attractive physically and intellectually. I felt exactly the same as he did but luckily, I had taken action earlier in the day. I decided on the direct approach.
"Andrew, I felt that way this morning and so I made a decision that I would not face him today or tonight."
Andrew cocked his head in a question. "I have checked into the hotel down the road for the night. I have turned off my telephone so that he cannot contact me. There are two queen size beds in the room." I cocked my head at him.
He gave me a very charming, mischievous smile. He looked so young and appealing. "Paul, you know that a queen size bed is very comfortable for two and that way no one would ever know that two people used the room."
"I'll take that as a yes. Let's see where the mood takes us." I gave him my most charming, devilish smile with raised eyebrows. He grabbed my hand, stroked it gently and gave me a very intense look. "Come on you devil. I am booked in and my bag is there already. Let's get our cars and park at the hotel. We can go directly to the room from the parking garage." We were both smiling broadly. I put my arm over his shoulder for the short walk to our cars.
We kibitzed a bit as went up on the elevator. I think that both of us were a little nervous. This obviously was not our standard style but somehow it just seem right for this night.
"Andrew, I think that you know that it wasn't you last night. I was just very angry that I had been set up by someone that I trusted. Slowly, it became clear that they had an agenda. To be very vulgar, to fuck each other. You were embarrassed. Both our 'partners' showed no concern for our feelings. The words, 'cheapened and let down' say it very well. They were only thinking with their dicks. In the case of your partner with his rather big dick."
The last comment seemed to really break the dam. We started to laugh. Still laughing, Andrew said that it might be big but he really had no idea how to use it effectively. We were still chuckling when we entered the room. It felt good.
We were standing by the bed and I leaned towards Andrew and kissed him on the lips. He kissed back and I felt his lips open and I could feel his tongue gently touching my lips. It was so gentle and so erotic. I opened my lips and our tongues touched. It was amazing how sensual just the light touching of each tongue had been. We eventually broke the kiss and we both had a knowing smile and an intense look in our eyes. I separated us and scanned his body. He was already semi hard. So was I and I let him see that.
He started to take his shirt off. I stopped him. "Let me do that. I like undressing a good looking, intelligent man." He gave me a soft, welcoming look.
Andrew was tall but he was not big. He had a slender build like a runner but he was well proportioned and defined. His body didn't taper a lot but he had a lovely firm looking butt. I put that aside until that was exposed. I liked the dark short hair in the middle of his chest. Why did guys shave it off? They were men. They had hair where women didn't. If a man was hairless and smooth OK but a defined chest and hair said man and that was what I wanted. I ran my hands through it and I got a little noise from Andrew. I licked his nipples which were about the size of a quarter, just right. That got a shiver. Good. Now I knew where to concentrate and I did. Andrew was very quickly taking off my shirt and t shirt and set to work on my chest and nipples and the gasp was not a complaint from me. I showed my appreciation with a big, wet kiss.
Now for the unveiling as I often thought of it. I put my hands down and traced the outline of Andrew's growing erection. Nothing to be ashamed of there. I got a smile from Andrew as I fumbled with the zipper.
"Out of practice? Need some help?"
"I can manage smart ass. Actually I really want to see and feel that ass." I managed to get the zipper down. There was already a wet spot on his shorts. Now I was feeling greedy and wanted my prize, Andrew's butt, now. Off came the shorts. This was a prize. Dark short, curly hair on the legs with just a little fuzz on the butt. I fondled his butt; it was firm, round and yet soft. His cock was hard and sticking up.
I held him out with my hands, gazing at him. "Nice." I kissed his chest and turned him around and kissed his lovey butt in many places.
"No fair."
I dropped my hands and put Andrew's hands on my crotch. I murmured., "Getting uncomfortable." I was naked in a flash.
Still standing we caressed each others body and then sensuously stroked our cocks. Both of us were in overload quickly. I eased him to the bed and we were very quickly facing each others cocks. We sucked each others balls. We stroked each other. I got the lube and there were fingers inside each of us as we stroked. Almost by mutual agreement, we didn't suck each other and I didn't want to enter or be entered. I wasn't sure why but I didn't want to do everything tonight. We were still enfolded in a haze of feelings and nerve endings. We both had red, straining cocks as we were so hard. I noticed that his face was flushed. I was too close to cumming and when I told him, we sat up and kissed each other.
As I calmed down, I looked at him. "Another round?" We started back with mouths, fingers and hands. We were close again.
"Paul, take me over. It is exquisite." We both started to stroke each other harder until I could see from the frenzied look on his face that he was seconds from the end. He started first. I could almost hear the semen hit my chest. I could certainly feel it. In his release, he had stopped stroking me so I took over. Shortly I felt my semen expelled out onto his chest. His chest was dripping when I was finished.
When we both came back to this world, I looked at him. "Ironic isn't it. Couldn't last night and now this. Andrew that was amazing."
"I knew you had it in you." He chuckled. I gave him a fairly hard slap on that beautiful ass. "Do that again and we may not get any sleep tonight." I called his bluff and I did it again. "I didn't say when. Be prepared." We were both smiling like young teenagers after their first sex.
He turned a bit more sober and philosophical. "This was what we chose to do because of a wonderful time together; it was not an obligation set up by our partners."
I gave him a smile as acknowledgement. He was a very wise man.
The next morning Andrew had wakened as I got up to go to the bathroom. When he was finished there, he looked at me softly, "Paul, you know what I threatened last night. I want to collect now. I know that we both have to go to work but I want to thank you for last night, in a physical way. Last night was very special. I won't take too long." He smiled again very warm and softly. With that, he took the lead and very wonderfully took me to as high a point as we had reached last night. I was almost overwhelmed by his passion and gentleness.
I had brought a change of clothing and he had decided to go to work in yesterday's fresh clothes. Neither of us wanted to face our partners this morning. It would have to wait until tonight. I had decided that I needed to talk to him about myself before he left.
"Andrew, the whole situation has happened very fast. It is hard to believe the difference in my life between Saturday morning and today. My eyes have been opened and I am seeing things very differently. I have a lot of decisions to make and I suspect that my life is going to be in turmoil for a while. I promise that one way or another I will be in touch in a couple of weeks."
"As usual, thoughtful and considerate. I feel the same. I have no idea where I am headed. I have friends and connections that will help if I need it. I too need time to figure out my life. If you want to contact me, use my cell number. I feel really guilty; I should have let you know that yesterday was not the first time that I had met Peter. He was in and out of the apartment Friday and Saturday, two weeks ago and it wasn't just a friendly social call. I too need to take action. I guess I know what an open relationship really means."
"I guess that he wasn't on the business trip that he told me that he was on. Interesting. Thank you. I won't let him know that you told me. I am smart enough to work it into a conversation in other ways."
"Sorry, I have been wrestling with whether to tell you or not but I really thought that you should have all the information."
With that, we looked at the other and gave each other a gentle kiss on the lips. I was stepping back into the real world. I had decided that my decisions would be based on how Peter reacted tonight and I would refuse to discuss anything until we were at the condo tonight. I knew that I could fall back on the suites hotel for a while. Their weekly rate was not bad and I had saved a lot of money splitting the rent with Peter and renting out my condo with that money going into savings.
Author's Note
There is another chapter being written. I hope to publish next Thursday or Friday.
Let me know your thoughts on this chapter preecherdave@gmail.com
If you liked this story, you might want to read the others that I have published on Nifty. In particular, Unexpected Change which has had the most positive comments and one of my favourites, Getting My Act Together.
Unexpected Change, Nifty, College, April 16, 2011 Friendship, Nifty, Adult Friends, May 20, 2011 Surprising Last Year at University, Nifty, College, June 9, 2011 Murder Changed My Life, Nifty, Beginnings, July 8, 2011 What is Love?, Nifty, Beginnings, August 31, 2011 Getting My Act Together, Nifty, Adult-Friends, November 10, 2011 Surprised, Nifty, Adult-Friends, January 14, 2012 Surprised Eric and Dave, Beginnings, February 10, 2012 Surprised Graham and Robert, Nifty, Adult-Friends, March 22, 2012 What a Difference a Year Makes, Nifty, Adult-Friends, September 13, 2012 Discoveries, Nifty, Beginnings, November 1, 2012 Introspection, Nifty, April, 2013