The More Things Change 5
By Diana
Author's Notes: Hey, everybody! I've got news, so listen up! As you no doubt noticed, this chapter took WAY too long to finish. Due to my recent promotion at work and the start of my first real novel (hopefully to be published in 2003), this fic (and Nifty stories in general) can't be my top priority anymore. Since there's only one chapter and an epilogue left, I WILL try to finish it. But I'm not sure I will. I've been so irregular with updating that it makes no sense to pretend I'll be able to get into a normal schedule again.
I'd like to take this opportunity to say my goodbyes, just in case. It's been an excellent year and a half here at Nifty. You guys are the best audience I've ever had, and I'd like to thank all my readers for their devotion to this story, which started more as a joke than anything else and became my best work ever.
People who deserve special mention: Alyssa, Bo Wang, Irda Majere, Keenan Isawan, Lorena and Rick. Thank you for making this experience so memorable to me.
Dedication: To my dear absent Keenan, wherever he may be.
Disclaimer: The songs featured here are "Frozen" by Madonna and "Nobody Wants To Be Lonely" by Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera.
"What are you doing here?" Justin asked coldly as JC approached them. Lance and Chris were still sitting on the steps, and Joey decided to join them; it would be better for Justin and JC to work things out on their own. But no sooner had he taken a step than Justin's hand latched around his wrist.
"We need to talk." JC explained calmly, ignoring Joey completely.
Justin's eyes narrowed. "There's nothing to talk about."
"You only see what your eyes want to see How can life be what you want it to be? You're frozen When your heart's not open..."
"I know, Justin. I know what you did." He was probably bluffing; Joey doubted he knew the WHOLE truth. JC was just trying to get some kind of genuine reaction from Justin.
Unfortunately, it didn't work. Justin just snorted and shot his husband a venomous glare. "Yeah. I know what I did too. If that's what you came here to tell me, you're wasting your time." He started to head towards the house, but JC blocked him.
"Get out of my way." the blonde growled.
"I'm not going anywhere." JC said, and Joey could see a hard core of determination in his eyes.
"Fine!" the curly-haired teen screamed, shoving past JC. "Then stay out here!"
Storming past Chris and Lance (who didn't dare stop him), he slammed the screen door shut behind him and disappeared into the house.
"You're so consumed with how much you get You waste your time with hate and regret You're broken When your heart's not open..."
Joey immediately took off after him, but Chris grabbed his arm as he bounded up the steps. "Running from his problems won't solve them." the older man warned. But Joey jerked out of his friend's grasp and followed Justin inside.
The blonde was crouched against the wall, clenching and unclenching his fists. Joey almost sighed; it was starting all over again. Cut, bad take, let's take it from the top.
"Hey." he whispered, kneeling next to his friend.
"I don't want them here." Justin mumbled, sounding like a petulant child. Joey couldn't help smile at that.
"I know." the taller teen replied softly, touching Justin's arm. "But they're here. You can't change that. The only thing you can do is face them."
"If I could melt your heart We'd never be apart Give yourself to me You hold the key..."
The blonde ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah." he whispered, nodding once.
"Okay... help me up."
Joey pulled Justin to his feet, and the latter immediately dried his tears and composed himself. Stepping over to the door, he opened it and walked out to the porch.
"You can stay here." he said, steel in his voice. "But everyone gets a separate room." His eyes locked with JC's for a moment as he repeated: "EVERYONE."
JC nodded gratefully, clearly reluctant to push his luck.
"Now there's no point in placing the blame And you should know I suffer the same If I lose you My heart will be broken..."
"Come on, this way." Joey announced as they stepped inside. He led them to the other vacant rooms, which they promptly split between them. Chris went into the first room, Lance into the second after shooting Joey a concerned glance.
And then he was alone with Joshua Chasez, who hadn't said a word since he stepped into the house.
They reached the last guest room in silence. But when Joey indicated the door, JC stayed where he was, arms folded over his chest as though he was waiting for something.
Joey sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? I did what I thought was best for him."
"I'M what's best for him." JC emphasized this by pounding his chest with a firm fist.
"Love is a bird, she needs to fly Let all the hurt inside of you die You're frozen When your heart's not open..."
"I'll take it from here."
Joey and JC turned to find Justin standing behind them. From the angry look on his face, he'd obviously heard JC's last comment. "Get inside." Justin growled to his husband, and JC seemed startled by the blonde's ferocity. Joey stepped back, once again content to let them tear into each other and get it over with. At least then they'd have some kind of closure.
Once the two of them were behind closed doors, JC wrung his hands and shot Justin a timid glance. "So..." he prompted.
"What are you doing here?" Justin interrupted. Straight and to the point, and JC decided to reply in kind.
"I wanted to see you." The older teen took a breath. "I had a list of reasons when I got on the plane, but this is the only thing I can think of right now."
Justin didn't seem too flattered. "You've seen me. Now what?"
"If I could melt your heart We'd never be apart Give yourself to me You hold the key..."
JC stared into Justin's cold eyes, looking for something, anything that could give him hope. But those brilliant sapphires he'd fallen into were dead now, soulless chunks of ice. And it hurt JC to think that he was in part responsible for the dying of that light.
"What's happening to us?" There was genuine fear in his voice now, because it was clear there was so much more to this than he was aware of. Things were changing too quickly, the foundations of his life were crumbling into nothing and he didn't know how to stop it.
"You just don't get it." Justin sighed deeply, in mock exasperation. So stinging, so hurtful. This couldn't be the man he loved. "There's no 'us' anymore. It's over. It's been over for a long time."
"You only see what your eyes want to see How can life be what you want it to be You're frozen When your heart's not open..."
"You're right." JC shot back. "I don't get it. We were happy together, Justin. We can still be happy."
"Happy?" Justin echoed, like he didn't understand what that meant. "You think we were happy?" His hands came together, fingers prying off his wedding ring and dropping it on the floor. Then he raised a foot and stomped down on the gold band.
JC had been through a lot in the past few days. And he could usually cope with his husband's need to overdramatize their lives. But as he watched the symbol of their love defiled, he just snapped. With a wild cry, he lunged forward, putting all of his weight into a single punch that struck Justin squarely in the face.
The younger teen, completely thrown off balance, fell backwards and crashed against the drawer. As he drew himself back up, hand pressed against his jaw, he spun around and ran out the door without a word.
"If I could melt your heart We'd never be apart Give yourself to me You hold the key..."
It didn't really sink in at first. Until his knuckles started to ache, and he spotted tiny drops of blood staining them. Not his blood. That was when JC realized what he'd done. He'd crossed the line, the line that set him apart from Jack Matthews. How different were they now?
And maybe that was it all along. Maybe they'd been more alike than JC wanted to admit, and THAT was why things weren't working out. And if that was true, then didn't he deserve Jack's fate? To die alone, unloved, insane?
He looked around the empty room. "I'm... I'm sorry..." he whispered. There was no answer. And JC wondered if Jack Matthews, dying on the floor of a filthy warehouse, had asked for forgiveness.
Or received it.
There were exactly twenty-six cracks in the ceiling. Justin counted them over and over as he lay on the couch, wiping tears from his eyes. Not from pain, even though his jaw felt like it was on fire. More like the sense of betrayal. He'd been betrayed. Which was insane considering everything he'd done to JC in the first place.
Insane. That just about sums it up for you, blondie.
With a moan of despair, Justin sat up, turning his head to face the specter sitting next to him.
There was a smug twinkle in Jack's eyes. Looks like you're batting oh-for-two. You know, I'm starting to think I was the normal one in our relationship.
"You're not here." the blonde growled, but Jack just shrugged.
I'm always here. His usual sarcasm was gone now. I can't leave. You won't let me.
Clamping his hands over his ears, Justin fled, taking the stairs two at a time until he reached his room. Slamming the door shut, he threw himself onto his bed and buried his face under the pillow.
And Jack watched him from a shadowed corner of the room. Just watched.
With a groan, JC kicked away the covers and opened his eyes. He wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. Chris was snoring downstairs, someone on the beach was playing really loud music, and it was so hot his clothes were sticking to his body.
He stood and stretched slightly. Thought to go downstairs and get a drink, but what if Justin was still down there? Better that he stay here, out of sight...
JC's fists clenched. This was ridiculous. He hadn't come all this way to cower and hide. He was here to fight for his marriage. And if Justin wanted to throw down, then so be it.
Fueled by renewed determination, JC stormed out of the room.
Justin was on his third T-shirt when he just gave up and tossed it away. It was way too hot to be sleeping in clothes, but Joey probably wouldn't appreciate waking up to a naked Justin. The shorts would have to stay on.
God, he was hot. And so fucking horny. The blonde buried his face in his pillow; like he didn't have enough problems. He was about five seconds away from jerking off, which DEFINITELY wouldn't go over well with his new roommate.
Silently crawling out bed, Justin opened the door and slipped through. A short trip to the bathroom and a little "hands-on" approach would take care of it. If only he could solve ALL his problems so easily.
They met halfway down the hall, almost colliding until they recognized each other. Time stopped as their eyes met, and Justin found himself resisting the urge to pull down his shorts a little more. It had been WAY too long since someone looked at him like that, with a hungry stare and an obvious hard-on.
Neither was sure who made the first move. But suddenly their hands were touching, fingers dancing across warm flesh. Someone took the first step.
"There you are In a darkened room And you're all alone Looking out the window Your heart is cold and lost the will to love Like a broken arrow
Here I stand in the shadows (in the shadows) Come to me, come to me Can't you see that..."
And then they were kissing, mouths devouring each other, and it was like they'd never been apart. Justin's arms found their familiar niche around JC's neck, while the older teen's hands encircled his husband's thin waist.
They pulled each other closer still as they staggered back into JC's room. The door shut behind them, almost of its own volition, and they whirled around the room for a few moments, locked in each other's embrace until they hit the wall.
"Nobody wants to be lonely Nobody wants to cry My body's longing to hold you So bad it hurts inside Time is precious and it's slipping away And I've been waiting for you all of my life Nobody wants to be lonely so why Why don't you let me love you..."
Lifting Justin up slightly, JC set him down on the desk and started licking down his chest. Justin's hips were gyrating as JC spread his legs and parted the folds of his shorts, exposing his throbbing manhood. JC eagerly sucked the pulsing head into his mouth, working it just the way Justin wanted: tongue sliding up the underside to tease the veins, teeth gently scraping against the ridges.
The blonde couldn't help the loud moan of appreciation that escaped him as he threw his head back. Personal differences aside, JC knew what Justin liked. Soon the younger teen's body was slick with sweat and he was gasping for breath, desperately trying to hold back his orgasm.
"Can you hear my voice Do you hear my song It's a serenade So your heart can find me And suddenly you're flying down the stairs Into my arms, baby
Before I start going crazy (going crazy) Run to me, run to me 'Cause I'm dying..."
"S-stop..." Justin pushed his lover away, not yet satiated. He didn't want to cum in JC's mouth. He wanted it all. Standing, Justin tackled the taller teen, forcing them both onto the mattress. For a while they just rolled around, thrusting blindly, groping and gasping, needing release but not yet ready to achieve it.
"Nobody wants to be lonely (to be lonely) Nobody wants to cry My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you) So bad it hurts inside Time is precious and it's slipping away And I've been waiting for you all of my life Nobody wants to be lonely so why Why don't you let me love you..."
Finally, JC sat astride Justin's hips, easily sliding onto his husband's erection. Even if everything between them had changed, this at least was as it had always been between them. They knew each other, what they were capable of, what gave them pleasure. And as JC pounded against his lover, he bent down, drawing a line with his tongue from Justin's chin to his mouth.
Justin, for his part, thrust into JC like it was the only thing that could keep him alive. His hands came up, fingers digging into the flesh of JC's back. Jagged nails tore the skin and drew blood, but they were beyond pain now. They were beyond everything but this.
"I want to feel you deeply Just like the air you're breathing I need you here in my life Don't walk away, don't walk away Don't walk away, don't walk away No, no, no, no
Nobody wants to be lonely Nobody wants to cry..."
"Justin... I... I need..." the older teen stammered between pants, and Justin drew himself up, pulling his husband close to him as they rocked together, united in rhythm and desire. Their lips met once, twice, three times, drawing the other's heart and soul into themselves. Hands clasped, fingers intertwined so tightly the knuckles turned white.
JC climaxed first, spasming as his seed struck Justin's chest in thick ropey strings. He opened his mouth to scream, but there was no air in his lungs, and all he could do was let out a sound that was part squeak and part gasp. As JC shuddered, Justin followed suit, biting hard into his lover's shoulder to muffle a loud moan.
Breathless and spent, they collapsed side by side on the mattress, and suddenly there was silence between them. Their eyes met, and for a moment JC was sure everything was okay again.
"Nobody wants to be lonely Nobody wants to cry My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you) So bad it hurts inside Time is precious and it's slipping away And I've been waiting for you all of my life Nobody wants to be lonely so why Why don't you let me love you..."
The moment ended when Justin rolled over on his side, turning away from JC. The older teen started to reach out, to place a hand on his husband's back, but he didn't know what he'd do if Justin shrank away from his touch, after what they'd just done. Sliding his hand beneath his pillow, JC stared up at the ceiling and hoped he wouldn't wake up alone tomorrow.
He did.
To be continued...