For the next six months after my first exhilarating visit to Alex's place, the emails, phone calls, and letters flew like torpedoes with rapid succession over the distance between us. I say torpedoes, because now there was a real target! And our sharing zeroed in specifically on how we related our new relationship to where we were really living.
Then it was Alex's turn to visit me! I was almost unable to contain myself over the anticipation of his presence in my home! I wanted to put up a banner and shout to my friends, "ALEX IS COMING!" But my job, position in the community and its exasperatingly conservative approach to life would never allow me to reveal that I was attracted to the same gender. Many times before I chided myself with, "Why do I stay locked up in this "prison? I ought to get out of this town while the getting is good." Not until I met Alex, visited him, and anticipated his visit with me, did I ever feel like I had finally conquered! I had risen above "my cell."
Of course, Alex could tell from my emails, and phone calls that I was slightly ecstatic. And being the cool, calm, and experienced one that he is (although he will deny that), he kept saying "cool down, go slow, calm down, take it easy"-all of which made no sense to me. Nor did I intend to heed these suggestions in the slightest! I was in love for the first time in my life, and I was going to enjoy it to the hilt! After my first visit, I felt like being able to love Alex for one night would last me a lifetime. Now I was imagining that the second visit would last me an eternity!
When his car drove into my driveway, I thought an angel had descended. He stuck those muscled, tanned legs of his out of the van and flashed me with his glistening smile. Oh my gosh! Alex looked more handsome, and more like the Greek God, Zeus, than I had remembered. I wanted to run up to him, grad him, and lick him from head to toe. However, since I live in the middle of town . . . I calmly walked up to him and shook his hand like the straightest of straights.
"Alex, you made it! Come on in!" I said out loud, but in my mind I was screaming, ["Get inside where I can eat you alive!"]
"Man, that's a long drive," was all he could manage, and stretched. His arms, reaching upward as if in slow motion, gave me a tantalizing peek at that exquisite abdomen of his.
Once inside, I slammed the door shut and enveloped him, hungry for his touch, starving for the warmth of his being, aching to handle him. We stood there holding each other for what seemed like an hour-I'm sure it was actually only 30 seconds. I kissed his stately forehead, his eyes and started for his mouth. He pulled back.
"Alex?" is all I could get out. And quickly with a lovely smile, he said for some reason that he didn't want to kiss this time-mumbling something about his past relationship. I was a bit taken back, being one who loves to kiss and have no opportunity to do so. However, instantly I reacted mentally with, "If I can hold him, who cares about a kiss." Then we parted, and without taking my eyes off his gorgeous face, I served him a cup of tea and some cookies.
"Alex, I can't believe you are really here! How was the drive?" I plied.
"Loooong!"
"Then how about a massage to loosen you up?" I offered with a sensuous gleam in my eyes.
"Look, Ted, you've got to slow down."
["He was starting that again, and he's only been here 15 minutes!]
"Ted, we have all evening, and all night! How about a walk? I could really use some exercise after that drive; and I've got a long drive tomorrow."
["Man, I've been rebuffed twice now! What's the deal? But I love him! It's not all about me! It's all about us!"]
"Alex, you can ask me for anything and I'll give it to you! A walk it is!"
I must admit I was disappointed. For I knew that once we stepped outside my front door, it would be like the frozen chosen-two straights strolling down the street, batting back and forth about football scores, the current president whom we both hated, the latest cars, the stock market, and hunting and fishing with a "boob joke" thrown in for good measure! But who cares, I was with him-walking next to him, showing him off to the world, and whether they knew it or not I was loving every minute of it!
["Hey, world! Look who I've got! Aren't you envious? Don't you wish you had him?"]
We returned home and I fixed supper this time. It was my turn to put Alex at ease like he did me in his home! So we ate, we chatted, and we flirted. Of course, time sneaked right under the door and away as usual. So since he was leaving in the morning to continue on to New York City, we decided to turn in for the night. I showed him the guest room across the hall from my own, and left him to get ready for bed.
About fifteen minutes later, I knocked and came in to say good night! Right! I took one look at that massive chest, those solid legs, and his winsome smile, and I never said one word. I just slipped into his strong, gentle arms.
"Oh, Ted, this feels so good. It's been so long," he whispered softly.
That was music to my ears. Music that was like a gentle breeze blowing over you on a warm summer night-it soothes you all over. Oh, that was the most phenomenal feeling, as our skin glided over skin. Lying on top of him, I took his beautiful head in my hands, holding it like a priceless treasure, kissing every square inch of it. His face is so perfectly sculptured, so warm to my lips, and so smooth to my caresses. I reached over and turned out the bedside light, and with another easy movement removed his boxers and mine in one fell swoop!
Ever so slowly I lowered my body onto his, relishing the initial touch of every part. First our groins joined in a loud chorus of feeling as our tools, already swollen with desire, meshed together. Then our thighs, our knees and feet melded into one. Next our abdomens came together inch-by-inch with such sensuous feeling that our tools pulsed in response. Our pecs met as if two gladiators sizing each other up for the fight. Mine are hairless; Alex's are covered with the soft fur of a mink. Our nipples were tense with excitement and pushed against each other as if to say, "Now is the time!" Then our shoulders, arms, and hands all perfectly laid out one on top of the other. And finally-our noses, chins, and closed lips met in perfection. When our lips met and mine were closed, I felt him smile. It said thanks for honoring me! And I smiled back-two smiles so perfectly matched.
Lying there like two Siamese twins joined at the front, we hardly breathed, savoring the glorious sensations emanating from almost every part of our bodies simultaneously. Finally, I began to kiss his cheeks, his ears, his neck, his chest, his nipples-all without the slightest protest this time. Slowly working my way down over those mounded pecs, and then the abs, I headed straight for the goal-his jewels!
If I couldn't kiss his lips, I would kiss his tool. . . . But something stopped me! And it wasn't Alex this time!
Was I listening? There were blinking caution lights, and stop signs: "Ted, go slow, calm down. I'd rather not kiss."
Did I love him? Or, did I just want sex? Did I want our love to last forever, or to be over as soon as we had spent ourselves? Instantly, my head was a hurricane of desire, love, selfishness, giving, wanting, all swirling around the eye of the storm-our tools! Then, as if nothing had happened, I slowly slid back up on his body for a moment. Gently I moved to his side, resting my head on one elbow.
Gazing down at this marvelous creation, with the moonlight streaming through the window like a spotlight on his face, I could see his gorgeous, quiet smile of pleasure. The fingers of my free hand danced all over his chest, his face, his head, his arms, his thighs. I lingered over every line of his face and body. I took a thousand mental pictures. I was free! I wasn't in prison anymore! I could choose! I could touch him, feel him-he was mine! And then. . . I laid my open hand on his hardened tool for a minute-no, only a second really. It was not a sensuous touch. It was a touch of freedom, a touch of honor. And I lifted it off. Holding him I said,
"Alex, I love you."
"I love you, too, Ted."
I leaned into him and he embraced me with all the love I could have ever wanted. I continued to gently touch him, caressing him until he fell asleep. I knew he needed sleep for his long drive the next day, and if I stayed, we would only excite one another. So I quietly left him, went to my own room, and crawled into bed. As I began to sink myself into sleep with his glow all around me, I realized that my own cheeks ached from smiling so much!
I would waken him in the morning just the way I had put him to sleep! And then the next time, it would be his turn. . . !