Internet Connection Series

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1. That's the year I bought my first computer. I was actually looking for a text edit program, nothing else, but couldn't find one any more. In those days, you had to purchase a complete computer and add the programs you wanted. I ended up with something, I thought, was pretty complete, but to today's standard it was less than what we have in our cellular phones! In those days, where I lived, the Internet was just coming up. A lot of people had heard about it, but very few had seen it work. In the shop where I bought mine, there was an offer that if you bought a complete computer, you received a month connection, if you had a phone landline.

The guy came to install the machine and connected it to the phone-line. I was all set-up he said, but I had not a clue as how to use this new toy I had just bought. I looked for the text-editing program but the inspiration was not coming immediately. I tried to explore what else was installed. It was not difficult to find everything, but I still had my "Documents" folder empty, there was not a lot I could do.

I tried my Internet connection and that was working fine (at those time's standards). The only search engine I was capable of finding was Altavista. It seemed to be the best one as far as I knew. You have to know I was a complete newbie with computers, but the guy who had sold it to me said I could find some literature and the "Dummies" books were already available. I purchased one and started to learn how to use my machine. It was not that hard. I found my way in the labyrinth of computer world and Internet.

About a month later, I knew how to send and receive e-mails, although very few friends had it. I had found more search engines and sites that had woken my interest. Yes, indeed, I had typed the word "gay" in the search engine and hundreds of links to sites appeared on the screen. I was flabbergasted at the quantity of available sites. The first ones were (who had guessed) porn sites. Oh no, there were not yet video clips or movies, but hundreds of pages with pictures of naked men, much of them solos, but as well some nice pictures of men sucking and fucking. I soon learned how to download those pictures, but it took a hell of a time to have them in my computer. Today, you open a picture, you click "Save as..." and in less than a second you have it. In those days, it took several minutes to download only one.

After about a year I had already changed to a faster processor, more RAM memory and a better modem and a faster connection. We were not speaking of broadband yet!

I also started to discover the chat rooms. I have to admit it was a complete new world that opened to me. I have always been quite a loner, and although I had some good friends, most of the evenings I spent at home, watching television or reading a good book. With the chat rooms, I spoke with hundreds of people and even made some friends. Then I discovered the gay chat rooms and yes, I also discovered cyber sex. What some people wrote was just getting my horniness to sky-high levels. As I had no boyfriend, I jerked off several times a day. There were even days I got up really early (around 5 am) because I had better connection and could download more pictures and chat with guys that were far away.

When I was in those chat rooms I read things that I couldn't believe. Men who were typing "I love you" although they had not even met in real life. There were romances getting on and off every day. I could not understand it. How in heaven could they say they loved each other without ever having met? I thought I was realistic enough to not let that happen to me. Ok, ok, I had had wonderful conversations with a number of guys and used sentences as "I appreciate you" or even "I like you" but using the word "love" was totally incomprehensible. Till ...

One day I chatted with a guy that was about three thousand miles away. The conversation as pleasant and we ended up having cyber sex. That guy, Scott, knew his vocabulary and used the right words to make me feel good. We soon chatted on a daily basis. After about a month, he asked me for my telephone number and I gave it to him. He called me immediately and his voice was, at least over the phone, appealing to me. So, from that day on, we chatted over the Internet and called from time to time. I don't have to explain to you what it did to my telephone bill to have long conversations, internationally! I will never forget that first invoice I received which was far more than what I had thought, but the evidence was there. I was thinking that at that rate it would easily be cheaper to buy a plane ticket and go to see him in person. I went to a travel shop and informed about the fares. I was surprised to see that the first telephone bill was higher than the airplane ticket!

So, I mentioned it to Scott. We were both thrilled at the idea of meeting each other. We decided then to send some pictures of ourselves. I asked a friend of mine to take some pictures, as I had none of myself. Digital cameras were not in yet. I had to take the film to be developed and printed. I bought myself a scanner and soon had them in digital format. I sent Scott an e-mail with4 of the best ones. I remember his words when he called me: "You are one hot guy!". I had to laugh at that because I didn't consider myself hot, but if he thought I was, then it was ok for me. He sent me just one picture in return. Just his face. I couldn't say he was handsome or cute. He was not ugly either. His round face told me that he was probably overweight. When I asked him he said he was using jeans with a 34 waist. I was using 33 myself and thought that was ok.

I took some time off at my work and was on a plane before I knew. The transatlantic flight was long and boring. Arriving in Toronto, my luggage was missing. As I was going to stay with Scott, I gave them his address on the claim form. I got through customs and passport control almost two hours after landing. At that time I had no cellular phone yet and couldn't warn Scott who was probably waiting at the other side. When I finally came through I couldn't spot anyone who looked close to him. I went to the information desk and asked if they could make a call over the PA system. It seemed impossible, but when I turned around I saw a guy with flowers in his hands. I had to look twice at his face to recognize Scott. I looked him over and even if I am no clothes specialist, it was clear he was not wearing a 34 waist jeans! It had to be a 38 or even more. I have nothing against overweight people, but they don't do it for me.

Here I was, looking at that guy that had clearly lied to me about his physical appearance. I immediately got suspicious. I had had some experiences in the past and knew if a guy could tell ne lie, he could tell hundreds. I tried not to show my disappointment and followed him to his car. He still had the flowers in his hand and handed them to me only once we were seated.

He took me to his place. It didn't match at all to what he had told me. If you took his description of his place literally, you could probably have found some similarities, but what he described as a villa, was nothing more than an upgraded mobile home. During our six months conversation over the Internet and phone, he had told me he was an amateur chef. The only thing I can tell you after our first homemade meal was that he would always be an amateur and nothing else. He pretended he had prepared it all by himself, but to me it seemed more like a warmed-up frozen meal.

That first night in his bed, I pretended to have serious trouble with jet lag and I went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. When I woke up the following morning I was alone in bed. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I opened the door I saw him. He had not a towel around his waist, but around his breasts. A matching towel was covering his head as if he was a female Hollywood star. Once again, I have nothing against men showing their feminine side, but it doesn't do anything to me. The deception and disillusion were getting bigger by the minute. He told me to wait outside the bathroom and that he would be out in a minute. I didn't say anything.

Once he was out I emptied my bladder, took a shower, shaved and brushed my teeth. I dressed and once I was ready he said we were going to his sister's place for breakfast. His sister was a wonderful woman and made me feel at home instantly. She was very talkative and the more she talked, the more Scott turned pale. She was actually giving me information about her brother, but that information did not coincide with what he had told me over the months chatting. More and more lies came to the surface. I was just wondering how much more lies he had told me. I was getting really upset and angry. What were his thoughts? Did he really think he could get away with the lies? I confronted him and asked quite straight forward.

• How many lies more do I have to discover Scott?

• What do you mean? He asked.

His sister was suddenly quiet and looked at her brother in disbelief. I started to mention all the lies I had found out since my arrival. He didn't even deny them. He admitted he had "blatantly" lied to me so I would come and then he would have the time to tell me the truth.

• And how do you expect me to believe the second version of who you are and what you did? I asked him.

I apologized for my behavior to his sister. She said I didn't have to, that her brother had to apologize. Scott kept silent. Not one word of apology, not even one word to justify his behavior. I asked him to drive me back to his place so I could wait for my luggage to arrive from the airport. He didn't say a thing. We went back and just as we arrived a taxi arrived and the guy took my luggage from the back seat. I told the taxi driver not to bother and to wait a few moments.

I turned to Scott and told him there was no way we could build a relationship based on six months of lies. I wished him neither good nor bad. I wished him what he deserved and got into the taxi. To the driver I said to take me to a hotel downtown where I knew (from the Internet) that there was a gay district. As I didn't know any name of a hotel, I instructed him to leave me at a good but not overly expensive hotel. He did just that.

So, what I had thought would be the beginning of a new life, ended before it actually started. I was in Toronto for less than twenty-four hours, had met what I thought would be my dream man and left him. I was wondering what I would do. My return ticket was for three weeks further in time. I unpacked my luggage in a nice room with a view on the street. It was sober but nicely decorated. It had an en-suite bathroom, two chairs next to the window and a nice confortable king-size bed. My stomach was growling. I was hungry. I went down to the lobby and a nice looking man was at the reception desk. I asked him if he could recommend an affordable place to have a meal. His nametag said he was called Stewart. Stewart was of great help by asking what I liked and what I didn't, what I could afford and what not, and so on. He gave me the impression that he wanted our conversation to last a bit longer. He was nice and even more nice-looking. It was difficult to have a good look at him because he was standing behind the reception desk and, sincerely, the uniform he was wearing was not doing him any justice. But his blue eyes and enticing smile made up for all that. I was thinking I wanted to see him out of this uniform and in jeans and T-shirt. Ok, I admit it, I was also wondering what he would look like out of any clothes. We were in a gay district and the rainbow flag was at the entrance of the hotel, so I presumed he was gay, too. After my disastrous adventure with Scott, I was more than decided to not spoil the rest of my stay in Toronto and asked him at what time he finished.

• As a matter of fact, he said, my colleague is a little late. I was off duty about fifteen minutes ago and I guess my replacement will be here any minute. Why do you ask?

• Well Stewart, I had a rough day so far and I could use some company. You seem like an ok guy and I was wondering if you would like to join me for my meal. My treat of course!

He was hesitating for a moment, but had a smile on his face nonetheless. He looked even a bit shy with me being so bold and that made him even more attractive in my eyes. Just at that time his colleague stormed through the door and apologized profusely for his delay. As Stewart had no reason to stay any longer, he knew he had to make up his mind fast concerning the invitation.

• Ok ... just give me some time to get out of this uniform. I have to get out by the service entrance, which is at the back of the hotel. Go out and go to the right. The first little alley on your right again is where I will get out.

I agreed and went out to the right and waited on the corner of the street with the alley. It didn't take Stewart more than five minutes to come out, dressed in jeans and T-shirt, sneakers and a rucksack on his shoulder.

• I hope I didn't alter any plans you had, I said.

• The only plan I had was to go home, being bored to death watching some television. I am sure I won't be bored in your company!

• Ok, that sounds perfect to me. Show me the way as it is the first time I am in this town and don't have a clue as where to find anything at all. If the taxi hadn't left me in front of the hotel, I wouldn't know how to find it.

Stewart showed me the way. While walking to god knows where, he showed me some things of interest. He told me a bit of the history of the district and how it became first gay-friendly and after that gay a hundred percent. He was easy to listen to and the way he explained things was pleasant. I could have walked through the whole city with him as a guide. I was clear he loved his town and was even proud of it. I asked him if he ever thought of leaving it but he said he would miss it even before leaving it.

• I was born and raised here, he continued, and there is nothing or no one that could make me leave it. I have a simple life with simple ambitions. I don't want to get rich to millions and even if the Caribbean sounds like heaven on earth, I prefer it here.

We reached a little restaurant in one of the back streets. If you didn't know it was there, there was no way you could find it. Once inside we were seated near a fireplace where a few logs were consuming slowly. The general atmosphere was inviting and I couldn't have chosen something better. The menu had an international offer, but Stewart said to forget it.

• Is there anything you say you won't eat at all? Stewart asked.

Not that I know off, I answered, but I am not to keen on lambs meat, that's all.

When the waiter came Stewart just said that we wanted a meal for two, no lambs meat and no coriander. The waiter nodded and left. The house wine was on the table and Stewart opened it and served us each a glass.

• This restaurant is called Cate Blanche, meaning that you leave it up to the chef to prepare whatever he wants or whatever he found fresh at the market this morning. When you order this, you never know what you are going to eat, but I can assure you I have never been deceived. It has always been tasty and of high quality. But tell me, this is your first day here and you said you had a rough day. I don't want to intrude in your life, but ... what happened?

• Actually it is my second day here. I arrived yesterday. About six months ago ...

And I told Stewart my adventure.

Only the waiter bringing us the first course interrupted us. It smelled absolutely delicious. There was clearly some garlic in it, but as Stewart and I both had it, it would be no problem in the eventuality that we kissed. I had to admit the thought went through my mind various times.

• ... and that's how I ended up at the hotel where you work.

• Wow, Stewart said, that's quite a story. You fly half around the world to discover the guy is a fraud? I wouldn't like to be in your shoes. But anyway, it his loss and neither yours nor mine. If he had not been like he is, I would never have met you!

I didn't know what to think about his last remark. I flattered my ego, of course, but was he flirting or just being polite? We went on talking about each other's lives and Stewart genuinely seemed a good guy. I tried discreetly to ask a few more personal questions and Stewart each time smiled, saying that I could ask whatever I wanted to know. He was an open book for those who wanted to read. So, I got more direct with my questions and he always answered with the same directness. We learned quite a lot about each other. Time flew by and before we even realized it, it was dark outside. We had been talking for several hours and we didn't even notice it. When the waiter brought the coffee I asked him if he wanted some liquor but he said he knew a better place for that. I left it up to him to show me that other place. I paid the bill and we left.

Outside it was neither warm nor cold. We walked and walked and Stewart showed me some more things of interest. We stopped in front of a little bar. The complete fronts were gliding doors so that when it was open, there was no separation between the inside and the outside. Soft music was coming out of it and quite some men were sitting outside with the clement temperature. It gave the impression of a very relaxed atmosphere and Stewart invited me to sit down and have some brandy. I noticed that a lot of the men were greeting him and I assumed he was a regular customer.

When he came back from the bar with our brandies, he said:

• By the way, tomorrow there is the big parade of the Gay Pride. You are interested in seeing it?

• Hey, why not, I have never assisted at a gay parade. People told me it is a joyful event, quite colorful and with an overall happy feeling.

• Indeed it is. We can come here if you want. The parade passes just in this street. It will allow us to see it and have a drink at the same time.

• Ok, but you will have to give me the exact address so I can give it to the taxi driver, because we walked quite a lot and I don't think I could find my way back here.

• We'll see about that, he said with a smile on his face.

Another of Stewart's friends joined us at the table. Pedro seemed to be quite a close friend of Stewart and gave him two kisses on his cheeks when he arrived. Stewart introduced us and the evening went on in a very pleasant way. When Pedro heard my story with Scott, he was offended. He couldn't understand that someone would lie so blatantly in the hope of getting things straight afterwards. He couldn't understand that way of thinking and even less the way of acting.

I hope it won't give you a bad image of the Canadians! They are marvelous people. I have never felt so welcome as I feel here. I hope you won't generalize and think everybody is like that here. I am sure you already have experienced with Stewart that the people here are welcoming and inviting. All the cold they have in winter, they compensate with the warmth of their hearts.

• You are not objective, Stewart said, you are in love with a Canadian! And the one who is generalizing, it's you.

• Yes, you are right. He loves me so much and I love him even more. That's why we got married. But at the same time I had the opportunity to see much more people from here and I have had not one negative experience.

Pedro gave me the impression he wanted to apologize for Scott's behavior and make me see that not all the people were deceiving. He didn't have to do that. I was mature enough to know that one black sheep didn't make them all bad.

But all the events of the day, as well as the meal and the liquor, made that I started to feel tired and wanted to sleep. I asked Stewart where I cold grab a cab and go back to the hotel.

• You don't seem to realize Fred (that's my name), he said, but we walked in circles and the hotel is just around the corner!

We agreed to meet on this same terrace the next day around two o'clock in the afternoon as the parade started at three. I thanked Stewart for the company and walked around the corner to, indeed, find the hotel. I slept soundly and woke with the sunshine seeping through the half closed curtains. It was still early, but with the jet lag I was a bit out of step. I went to the bathroom for my morning routine and then went down to the restaurant of the hotel to have some breakfast. Once finished, I decided to have a walk and I was stunned when I came out of the hotel, as there were hundreds of rainbow flags. The sky was blue without a cloud and the bright sunshine highlighted the colors of the flags. I could see them everywhere, at shops and bars, but also at balconies or entrance doors. There were already a lot of guys in the street, wearing bright colored clothes, trying to imitate the rainbow flag. Whoever I crossed path with, was smiling and in a joyful mood. It was contagious, as I felt joyful as well and smiled a lot. I responded to every greeting I got.

Around noon I had a burger and then went to the bar Stewart and I had agreed on, although it was too early. Despite that, Stewart was there, with another man, who he was kissing passionately. I felt as an intruder, but then again, we were on the street and just behind the hotel I was staying at. I approached the table and he must have seen me in the corner of his eye, as he broke off the kiss and looked towards me. He had a big smile on his face and he introduced me to Troy as his lifetime companion. They were not married yet, but they planned to do so. Troy was a very nice and attractive man and my first thought was that they formed a really nice couple. Physically, they were the perfect match I would say. During the conversation that followed, I realized Stewart and Troy had agreed with some more friends to meet at the bar. Each time one of them arrived, they introduced us.

That little group was a bunch of happy guys. There was a lot of laughing and joking and typical gay comments. The street was filling up with people who wanted to see the parade. The Gay Pride was omnipresent. Some of the men were provocative but it was all in good mood. My eyes caught a man on the other side of the street. I had not seen such a beautiful specimen of human kind. That man was my height and probably my weight. It was difficult to put an age on him. He had wavy dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. His square chin wore a five o'clock stubble. He wore a nice white button up shirt that was hiding broad shoulders and a narrow waist. His hips were hidden in close fitting jeans. He moved with agility and elegance. He crossed the street and came straight towards our group.

• Ahhhh ..., Stewart said, Richie, our eternal bachelor. Glad you could make it. Please, meet Fred here. He is a foreigner that heard so much about our fantastic city that he wanted to see it with his own eyes.

Richie turned to me and shook my hand. That shake was firm and lasted a little longer than just for polite purposes. I had the feeling his eyes were going through me and reading my thoughts and my soul. That look lasted as well a little longer than expected. The other ones were calling him and it seemed Richie reluctantly broke off the contact and went to greet them. I still could feel his hand in mine. He was my fantasy man in flesh and blood.

The first coaches were arriving, beautifully decorated and very animated with loud music and young guys, almost naked, dancing and waving at the people. Smiles and happiness were the main features on the coaches, but also with all the people watching the coaches driving by. Nobody or nothing could alter the joyful ambiance. Suddenly I felt someone standing behind me and wrapping his arms around me, joining his hands on my stomach. I instinctively covered his hands with mine, although I still didn't know who it was. I guessed it was Stewart, but when I saw the hair on the arms, I knew it was not him. I looked back hoping it was Richie, and was awarded with a bright smile. It was him indeed. I leaned back and let my back rest against his chest. It was strange how I immediately felt safe and secure in his arms. We didn't speak, we just assumed we were at the right place at the right moment with the right person.

I didn't know anything about Richie and he didn't know anything about me, but even if I speak for both of us, I knew we wanted to learn more about each other. It was neither the time nor the place to start meaningful and deep conversations but somehow I knew we would have time for that. For the moment, we were satisfied and content to be in each other's arms. The parade went on and on. Richie didn't leave my side and his arms were wrapped around me all the time. I was confortable in this position and I could feel his heartbeat from the chest against my back. The others seemed surprised but didn't make any comment. It was just the look on their faces that said so. At one point I felt like we were alone, surrounded by hundreds of people. Even the sounds seemed to fade away. I heard only Richie's breath and felt his heart. At that moment I turned around. Richie kept his arms in place. I looked in his eyes and was taken away by the softness and the care I saw in them. The feelings I saw were so intense! We didn't have to say anything. Our faces got closer and closer till our lips met in a feathery touch that sent little sparkles of electricity through my body. Richie closed his eyes and leaned in again. This time our lips met with some more force. I pushed my tongue against his closed lips, asking permission to enter. His lips parted slightly and my tongue slipped in, finding his to dance with. Our tongues were not dueling, not fighting. They just got acquainted the only way they could, by rubbing each other together, mixing our saliva to one homogenous liquid. Our lips were sealed together and we breathed through our noses. Richie squeezed me in his arms and I wrapped mine around his neck, holding on to him as if my life depended on it.

After what seemed an eternity, we broke the kiss and looked in each other's eyes. Richie had the most beautiful smile on his face, showing slightly his perfect white teeth. I was breathing in when he was breathing out. It was as if we sucked the air out of the other's lungs. We breathed in unison and when I pressed my hand on his chest, I knew our hearts were beating in unison as well. We didn't let go of the other. Our bodies were pressed together. Nobody looked at us. The parade went on and we were totally oblivious of it. I was completely focused on this man who was holding me in his arms and he had eyes only for me. It almost scared me because this was to good to be true. I banned the idea from my mind. I only wanted to enjoy the moment.

The parade was over. Richie and I had not moved from our original place since he wrapped his arms around me. People were leaving. Richie and I were in a trance, in a world of our own. It was Stewart that snapped us back to reality.

• We are all going to a new restaurant Pedro found. You want to join us? Or would you prefer to be on your own?

Richie answered for both of us saying that we would prefer some intimacy because we had a lot of taking to do. He was right. We had been embracing and kissing each other, but we had said almost nothing. We bid goodbye to the others. Richie took me by the hand leading me god knows where. We didn't go far. He took me to a small restaurant and we were soon seated in front of each other. He took my hand over the table and held it while looking at me.

• So, he said, how did you arrive here and where do you come from?

I related my story again. Richie's eyes got bigger and bigger while I told my tale. When I was finished, he had a big smile on his face.

• I am so glad that guy acted the way he did, otherwise I would not have met you!

He squeezed my hand while saying that. He then asked me:

• Do you believe in love at first sight?

• If you can believe that someone falls in love over an Internet connection, you believe everything! If you had asked me a few days or weeks ago, I would have said no. Today I am hesitating about that no answer. I have to admit I feel very confortable with you Richie. I even guess I wouldn't need a lot to use the four-letter word. Do you believe in love at the first sight?

• Yes! He almost shouted. I do believe in love at first sight, I believe in love point final. It doesn't matter how much time two people need to recognize their feelings. I know that with you I would be more than happy to lose my nickname of "Eternal Bachelor". I feel strongly attracted to you. I know I want to know you a lot better, being it physically or mentally or spiritually. I want to dedicate my time to see you, feel you and talking with you. I know I will probably scare you to death, but ... I love you Fred.

I was flabbergasted. This incredible guy, handsome and gorgeous, was clearly not afraid of his feelings and expressing them. Yes, I wanted all the same things as he did. I hesitate a split second but realized I was feeling a lot more for him than I would admit to myself.

• I love you, too. I said, but indeed I am a little scared. First of all because I thought I was in love for six months and all was over in less than twenty-four hours. Secondly, I have a life about three thousand miles away. I am in a foreign country and lose my way once I am more than five minutes away from my hotel. I don't know anything about this country and its laws. I don't even have a visa as I was supposed to be here only three weeks to start with. I don't want to be far away from you... even this table is separating us too much in my opinion.

• All the things you mentioned are true but not insuperable. The legal part of it all is something I can take care of. You see, I am a lawyer. So don't worry for that. What you went through upon arrival was a necessary step to bring us together. I believe in fate. The only thing I don't know about is the life you have some three thousand miles away. The only way I can tell you my opinion about it, is that you tell me what your life is in that far away place.

I started to tell him that I worked as a graphic designer, on a self-employed basis, and working from home. I had not met most of my clients personally as everything went over the Internet. I had no family as my parents had died a few years earlier and I was an only child. I told him quite a lot of things and Richie listened patiently and absorbed all the information I was giving him, from my tastes in movies and books, to my passion for my job and cooking.

Richie and I had quite some common points, as he commented the things I was telling him. The further we got in our conversation, the more I realized we had the necessary elements to make a relationship work. I was even thinking about how I could go back, sell what had to be sold and bringing over what I wanted to keep. I thought I was getting crazy to think that way, as I knew Richie only a few hours. Yes, indeed, I had to admit that love on the first sight was something that existed and Richie was the living proof of it. He let go of my hand only to eat properly, but as soon as he finished his plate, he took my hand in his again.

• Listen Fred, he said, tomorrow I'll check my agenda and see what I have to do or not. I can take a few days off. Your return ticket is for within three weeks. We will have the time to learn to know each other a lot more and spend time together. I know everything will go well and we will decide what to do in due time. Carpe Diem! But for now, I have a question for you. Will you spend the night with me? I want you.

A cliffhanger, right? This story can be continued if you guys tell me you like it. All comments welcome at amahy1957@gmail.com