Hello everyone read this story if you are allowed to don't read it if you can't. I don't mean to offend people so if you get offended sorry don't t sue me but also why are you on this site if lgbt stuff offends you.? ----- Donate to nifty they are the best of the best with So many stories. if you can donate to support this wonderful place please do. ---- Please send me mail I like reading what people think also on the grammar and story format I'm srry that it is garbage I write on my iPhone notes I have no computer or time to edit. Thank you and enjoy ----- Insecure Thoughts part 2 I made it back to my apartment safely and just crashed in my bed I was so tired. I woke up to the smell of breakfast and was met with Brenda, Jinx, Lucky and her boyfriend Sage. "Good morning everyone " "good morning it looks like someone got lucky you're glowing lol. Who was the lucky guy" Brenda asked starting her interrogation "he was a guy I met on the train he was just a hook up like the rest but he actually made me come dude like for the first time in my life during sex and not just once ugh I wish it was more than just sex." "How do you know it isnt? It might not be but then again never mind he kicked u out at 3 in the morning from the time I heard you come in that is probably just a hook up" " well he didn't actually kick me out I left we actually cuddled after we were done but I left cuz I didn't want to be rejected like I always am the next morning." "Dude you need to stop over thinking things and just let it happen what if this guy was different?" "No I always think like that and it's always just sex for them but I want more and I just need to get used to the fact that it will probably stay like that my whole life whether I just hook up or try and date it always end with me wanting more and being left behind." "You just haven't found the one.""I probably never will but I'll just have to live with that" "let's go out today then to get your mind off or so u can tell me the details of your first orgasm lol"."sure lol lets take the pets too family day" the day was fun and let me forget about romance and sex because I know that even if I was romantically alone forever I had great friends that were family to me.
Monday was a good day at the lab but I was happy to get home and relax and took the train at the time I always do. I didn't feel like I had to avoid Robel as he was probably gonna ignore me and I was okay with it being awkward I could just listen to music and feel the shaking and humming of the train that always get relaxing and serene. I saw Robel again but like I thought he didn't come to talk to me or even acknowledged I was in the same cart as him. I felt like Saturday never happened and it was just a really good wet dream but it was real and I remember it now looking at him and I wish we could do it again. I was staring at him since I knew now I could and he would just ignore but he actually looked me in the eye and I saw different emotions in him. it was weird. I thought I saw anger and sadness in his eyes. I also felt sad because I wanted more with him. looking at him now I craved him more after having sex and I think maybe I should distance myself again from him until I can get him out of my thoughts. I got to my stop and we both got off but we didn't say anything but we both knew the other was there i felt awkward I wanted to talk to him but I had no reason to. We made it up and I went to my place and he went to his and I stole a glance at his back before he turned and he looked at me again with definite hurt maybe he did like me and I just left him and it seems like I used him. I just walked home feeling like maybe I should have stuck my neck out maybe it is different this time.
The next day I saw him and again and this time he didn't look sad or mad just indifferent like I was just another passenger so I guess I was right I'm just a hook up. We got off and started walking up to the stairs but then he came closer beside me "hey what's up?" He asked "Uh hey just walking home." Surprised he actually talked to me again maybe there as hope for something more " can you come over to my place? I need to give you something" "I guess?" "Awesome" he grabbed my hand again making my whole body tingle again with just his touch. What did he want to give me? My underwear? He could've just thrown them away. what's the point in talking to me if I was just a one time fuck? Maybe this was something more.. We made it to his place as I was in my head space and taking the elevator back up felt awkward again. We made it to his door but he didn't open it he just stood there and looked at the door nob and then up to me for the first time in a long time and I just saw pure lust and hunger again. He leaned in to me and then grabbed my hips and kissed me deeply and passionately again catching me off guard and making me moan and weak in the knees so he pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me running them along my back, my neck, my hair, and going down and grabbing my butt and running his hands over both my cheeks while still kissing me and shoving his tongue in my mouth. This felt so good I guess it wouldn't be a one time thing then. I was lost in my own world of pleasure but realized we were in the open which was ok with me honestly as I had slight exhibitionist tendencies but I knew this wasn't appropriate and demeaning. "Can we go inside?" I panted after breaking the kiss "No. You want it bad from what I can feel poking my thigh and this will be faster for when u leave again" "..."I guess he's right this is faster and it is hot but I guess this is also to show I'm nothing more than a fuck. He kissed me again but this time his hands started roaming more and he managed to undue my belt and make enough space between my shorts and butt to put his hands in and have skin to skin contact with my ass. He started to really grab it and playing with my butt cheeks pulling them and squeezing them. I just decided to let my self go and feel the pleasure he was giving me. He kept playing with my butt and kissing me then he started to go deeper and pass his finger over my crack and then went deeper and massaged my hole with his finger tips driving me wild he did this for a while before pulling his hand out and then shoving his fingers in my mouth forcibly. I was so caught off guard but so turned on. "Lick my fingers and get them as wet as u can" I complied and did the best I could before he took them out and then went back to my hole and put more pressure on it until I felt his finger enter me. I felt awesome he now had one hand on my ass and the other just roaming my body and I wanted to feel the same so I started rubbing my hands across his back and over his muscular frame then to the front of his pants where I felt a very big bulge and a wet spot at the tip in the front it felt so hot I thought I could come he then pulled away and started putting pressure on my shoulders signaling me to get on my knees I went down and in front of me I can see his big cock going to the side in his jeans. He then lowered his zipper and pulled his whole 10 inch dick that pointed straight at me and I knew what I had to do. I started licking the tip and the sides until It was all wet and then I went to the tip and started kissing it and tasting his sweet and salty nectar. I started going down on it sucking and licking it with my tongue before going deeper to the root. I had about 5 inches but I knew guys liked being deepthroated so I kept trying to go deeper but was difficult from this position as his dick had a slight upward curve that I loved but I kept going for it. I eventually after a while felt his hands on my head pushing me deeper until I had about 7 inches. I started chocking and he pulled out "are u ok? You don't have to take all of it" I looked up and his eyes seemed sincere with worry but I Just answered by going back with all the experience I had and eventually I had him all in my throat it felt good and I saw his face was full of worry and lust. I started working his dick and I felt him breathing hard and his dick felt bigger. He then grabbed my hair by surprise and started setting the pace and a few seconds later I felt him groan and his dick pulsed and swelled dumping a load straight into my stomach I felt so slutty and used and horny. After a while he pulled out his still hard dick and pulled me to my feet against the door and kissed me again which made me even hotter as some guys didn't like kissing after getting their load or dick swallowed. He kept kissing me and his dick was still just as hard almost as if he still hasn't come then he went for my pants zipper and button pulling my pants down to my ankles and he went to his knees I felt so turned on and surprised as guys wouldn't normally suck me off. I felt him grab my dick and then an immediate and surprising warmth as he engulfed my whole dick in one try and started sucking I thought I was gonna cum right there and I did but he just kept his mouth where it was a until I finished twitching then he stood up and kissed me again but I was shocked because he filled my mouth with spit and I knew it was my cum he put in my mouth. He started kissing me even shoving his tongue in my mouth and playing with my cum I had never been so turned on I thought I would come again. We kept kissing but he pulled away and turned me around pinning me against the door and knees behind me and started rimming me I was in heaven he started to shove his tongue and make out with my hole then he pulled away for a second and I felt his finger enter me fast to the knuckle and he worked it In and out then he added another and worked them both for a few minutes then a third and started to really fuck me with them I wanted to come again but he abruptly pulled them out and stood up behind me kissing me and running his dick over my ass and pulling my head to the side he kissed me again and I felt his dick enter me about two inches I felt a slight pain and was thankful he prepared me a bit but also kind of scared as he wasnt wearing a condom and maybe he noticed my apprehension "I don't have any std's or stis I would never hurt you. You can see my status after we are done" "ok.. I don't have anything either I haven't had sex in a year and I didn't have anything the last time I was screened" "good then u can fully enjoy this" and he fully shoved himself in me to his root where I could feel all ten inches of beer can thick dick I screamed and shuddered wanting him to pull out but he pushed me deeper in the door and held me tighter with his arms wrapped around my waist and upper body "I'm srry that hurt u feel so good and warm inside this will be one of the few times I'll be selfish like this. just stay still I won't move until u tell me." I felt kind of shocked but also nice that he wouldn't just start fucking me before I was adjusted. After 5 mins I felt him move a bit and run his hands over my nipples and stomach. "I thought u were gonna wait?" I panted but also chuckled a bit "sorry it's just I feel like I'm gonna come any minute u feel so warm and silky on my dick" he kissed my neck"come then I have the whole night" I said and he did. he pulled all the way out and I felt him ram back In again making me Yelp. I felt him stay again but this time I felt his fat dick twitch inside me. I felt warm liquid being deposited deep inside me. I heard him groan and gasp then bite my neck and pull me tighter to his body as he came inside me for the first time. I felt so good and so full I thought It would be over after he finished coming as he started to pull out but right as just the head was in he pushed his hole cock in again making me shudder as I felt full again and the pain of his huge cock was gone. He continued pulling out and in me again slowly many times. I felt so good as pleasure washed over me . He started picking up the pace and ramming himself deeper and deeper. He started rubbing my nipples and nibbling on my neck and jacking me off I was getting over whelmed from all the sensations . He continued his pounding for 30 lmins each time changing his rhythm and rubbing. pulling me from the edge I felt this time it felt even better if possible especially since it doesn't hurt as much as the first time. After a while he started to gasp again and I felt his dick twitch and grow inside as I knew he was gonna come again and this time he kept a steady pace and kissed my mouth. I felt him erupt for the third time tonight which was amazing. I felt it even more this time if possible as his dick twitched and pumped his load deeper than last time and this time I came with him coming all over his door and hand moaning in his mouth as he kissed me. It felt glorious and felt like it lasted forever but wasn't more than 1 min but he stayed there slowly pumping his deflating cock inside me until it went soft and popped out he steeped back from me and he looked like a god or pornstar or whatever hot guy. He was there just standing with his clothes on and his still huge but flacid cock and balls hanging out of his pants. I wonder how I looked probably gross and sweaty from the fucking he just gave and slutty with my butt on show for all to see just leaking his obviously fresh deposited load. I felt so empty without him in me now and I felt his load run out of me and down my balls and legs . I felt really good and slutty but also bad as I knew no normal person would like this. I also felt sad as I was falling for this guy more than physically but I knew this was sex and this time he wanted to tell me I was just a cum rag as he didn't even invite me inside and said I would be leaving anyway after. Ugh sex with him has been the best and the worst ever as I feel like it can get even better but it will never be more than just sex. My legs started getting weak from standing up and I started to kneel down and eventually just sat on my legs against the wall catching my breath. He came up behind me but took my shirt off and then started taking my shoes and pants and underwear off . I was getting scared as I thought this was over was he gonna leave me naked too? Putting me lower than I already felt. He must have noticed my apprehension and fear because then he said"I'm just gonna wash them I'll bring something for u to wear don't worry I wouldn't hurt u or leave u like that." I still felt apprehension but then he opened his door and stepped inside leaving me out naked in his front door but kept the door open as he entered. He quickly came back with a Shirt a pair of pants and an unopened package of underwear. He started wiping me down with a rag cleaning my sweat and the also at my leaking hole. "Here put these on I bought them for you after u let your underwear.""thanks" I was opening the package when I saw these weren't my normal boxers they were a pair of underwear with the back opened showing off my ass. " why did u get me these?" "Because they are hot and show off ur beautiful ass also whenever we have the urge to fuck I can just pull ur pants down a little and fuck u senseless" I was shocked he said that. what was this becoming? " what makes u think we are gonna do this again?" "The fact that I can make u come so easily and if the sex feels half as good for you as it does for me you are gonna want to come back for more"I was shocked he liked me and I was kinda happy I would get to see him again and that we would be having sex again. " ok I guess we can have sex again sometime." "Not sometime tomorrow after u get off work. Do u want me to take u home? Since u don't like staying here." Wow he was so assertive "ok let's go walking back then I might need help walking though, my legs hurt." "Good thing we aren't walking then." "Huh" "we are driving in my underused car" "oh...ok I guess" he helped me get dressed and threw my clothes in his place which didn't make sense since I could just wash them at mine but decided to let it go since I was tired and sort of happy as this meant I would have a reason to come over some day. He helped me up and put on a black shirt that felt new and just my size which was weird since I was bigger than him so it wasn't his and a pair of jeans that also fit me perfectly. I was sort of apprehensive about the underwear as it would reaffirm to him that I was a slut that he could use and just leave but let it go because he was being so kind when past guys would have just left me outside their door dirty and leaking their cum like a used tissue. I was getting kinda depressed but he started pulling me to the elevator where I felt kinda tired and sleepy. He leaned over and kissed me gently making me feel so good and safe. What was this turning into? We're we just having sex were or were we something more? I guess it didn't matter as long as I could have more amazing sex with him.
We made it down to the parking garage and he continued holding my hand leading me to a very nice silver car that I had no idea what name it is since I was pretty clueless about cars. "Why do u take the train if u can drive?" I asked "I like the train it seems like everyday is different and an adventure and u have an excuse to socialize with people. Also I hate traffic and the train is faster sometimes. Plus if it weren't for the train I wouldn't have met u." I blushed again "wow ur a smooth motherfucker." I chuckled still bright red. "I try or so I've been told." We made it in his car that was all black leather. "This is a really nice car." "Thanks its a present from the company after making a big deal it's kinda flashy." " i think it's cool I'm not a big car person fan but I at least know what an expensive car looks like." "Me too. now where do I take u?" I gave him my address and we were on out way on the 5 min ride that made the distance seem so short but also felt so long the last time I walked from his plaCe. We made it to my place and he pulled over to the front. I didn't know what to do I felt awkward again should I kiss him what should I say thanks for the fucking. I say fuck it lean over to kiss him but he pulls back. What? Why? He just kissed me in the elevator why does he always fucking pull away. "Thanks for the ride" I then get out of the car and make my way inside. What the fuck is this why can he kiss me but not I him? Why does he always do this? I want to get inside quick before I feel what feeling tears forming in my eyes fall but I have trouble finding my keys and opening the door. I eventually find them but I can't put it in the lock as my hand is shaking. Then a hand is on top of mine and steadies my hand and puts the
Key in the lock and opens the door I look up and it's Robel looking into my eyes with sympathy and gentleness he leans in to kiss me and this time I look away before we kiss but he puts his hands on my jaw and to look at him "I'm sorry." he says and I look up again and he kisses me and I feel good again. I get caught in the kiss and remember what we had just done at his place but then I'm pulled back to reality and just try to get inside "see you tomorrow" he says before the door closes. "Wow dude that is the hottest guy I've seen you with" I'm startled that Brenda is there getting the mail and she looks at me smiling but she see my expression "are you ok?" "Yeah but no not really. We had sex again but we didn't use a condom" "dude wha the hell you know you have to be careful. is it really worth the anxiety of not knowing if you have something that you always get?" "No but I don't know this time sex felt even better than the first and the craziest thing is we didn't even go inside his place he fucked me on his front door twice. This is the best sex I've had in my life I feel like I'm getting addicted but I don't know. I thought I was a mature adult that could handle just having sex with a guy but I'm not I feel anxious I want more but I feel scared and everytime I try to kiss him he pulls away what does that mean? Obviously I'm not there for my pleasure only his" " wow dude maybe you should stay away then but come on just go with it don't let your feelings come in. this Is the first guy to ever make u feel something in 2 years just go with it, let sex be sex." "I guess. He gave me these clothes and assless underwear." I said "what omg?!? show me them and did he give u those clothes too they seem new." She came up to me and looked at the tags on the clothes and pulled my pants to see my underwear "dude these are designer clothes that look brand new and and nice Color underwear he got" she chuckled "it's so weird he sends me such weird signals like sometimes I feel so close to him and then other times he just pushes me away. That's why I feel so conflicted but you know what I'll just play his game. I'll just enjoy the ride. If u catch my drift." "You dirty whore hehe. Now give me all the details." We laughed and went inside I feel so happy that I have such a great friend close to me that we can be open like this . We continued talking inside and I just let the tension I felt go.
---- Part 3 hopefully won't take this long.