Inadequate Men
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Chapter 9 -- A Revelation
A few minutes later, upstairs in Jared's bedroom, Tom stood in his white boxer briefs with a small wet stain on the outside. His penis had kept dribbling even after he had wiped it off repeatedly.
Jared, stripped down to his tighty whities, pulled the waistband of Tom's underwear out gently and peered inside at Tom's penis, mostly returned to its flaccid state. "Dude, that is beautiful," Jared told him.
Tom smiled, "You little perv," then admitted, "It sure did feel good though. But now, I think it's your turn."
"Can we just cuddle for a while in bed?" Jared asked, suddenly feeling nervous.
"For sure, Buddy." Tom told him. Jared crawled between the sheets still wearing his underwear, and lay on his back with his arms behind his head. Tom followed, laying on his side and wrapping himself around Jared, gently rubbing his chest.
Jared said, "There are things I want to tell you. I'm just nervous. I don't know why I get so nervous when the focus is on me."
Tom reassured him, "Take your time. We have all night. Tell me everything, Buddy. Remember, Jared, like we did the first night? Tell me every true thing you can think of, Jared."
Jared began, "Tom, you are so hot."
"You too, Buddy."
"Tom, it feels really good right now with you holding me."
"Jared, I feel the same."
"Tom, I'm so scared to say this but I know I need to." Tom gave him space and Jared said, "Tom, I'm nervous that my penis won't get hard tonight."
"That sounds hot, Buddy. Jared, when you get nervous like this and tell me about it, it turns me on a lot."
"Really?" asked Jared, "How come?"
"It's like you're the little brother I always wished I'd had, and I can take care of you. I like that." Then, the hand that Tom was using to rub Jared's chest made light contact with his nipple. "Does that feel good?" Tom asked Jared.
"Yes," Jared said, "Very much."
Tom said, "Jared, you have like the perfect chest." He kissed Jared's chest, and then flicked his tongue across his nipple, still rubbing the other one. "Is that OK?"
"Yeah," said Jared, his heartbeat and respiration increasing. "Damn, that feels good."
"Jared, remember when you told me it was OK for me to cum fast. Did you really mean it?"
Jared answered, "Very much. Dude, it turns me on when you do that."
Tom said, "I'm glad. You know, if you say that 60 or 70 more times, I just might start to believe it." Then, Tom added, moving his lips right up to Jared's ear and speaking very softly, "Can you believe me right now, Jared, when I tell you that this vulnerable side of you is what I like most about you?" He kissed Jared's ear, cheek, and neck repeatedly.
After a long time, Jared said, "I want to believe that, Tom."
Tom went on, "I think this part of you is that scared, ashamed boy from that shower room so many years ago. Does that feel right?"
Jared thought about it for a minute, but knew even before he began that Tom was right. Here he was, lying in bed next to a guy he was obviously sexually attracted to. (Hell, he had just sucked Tom off in his kitchen 15 minutes earlier!) But all of his ambivalent feelings had suddenly surfaced, and his heart was beating equally with fear and longing. Part of him was wildly turned on, but he was so nervous that his penis had just about completely receded to its smallest-ever adult size. Jared wanted to run away from that fact, and he sure didn't want Tom ever to see it. "You may be right," Jared said at last.
"OK Jared," Tom said, and then taking a leap of faith added, "Is it OK if I talk to that boy now? Can I talk to Little Jared?"
Jared answered, "Yes," and waited.
Tom said, "Little Jared? Is it OK for me to call you that?"
Jared answered, "Yes," again, but his voice was different this time. It was just a little higher and more tentative.
"Does it feel OK if I call you Buddy, too?"
"Yeah," Jared said, his voice still identifiably higher, "I really like that."
"That's great," Tom said, "I really like it, too. Buddy, if I do anything that you don't want me to, I want you to tell me to slow down or stop, OK?"
"OK."
"Promise?"
Tom felt Jared noticeably relax, and a smile lit his face. "OK, I promise," said Jared. His arm was already wrapped around Tom's back, and Tom felt Jared's hand begin to rub and massage his shoulder.
"That feels good, Buddy," Tom said. "When you do that, it makes me want to kiss you very gently right here." Tom touched the side of Jared's head very lightly with his hand. "Is it OK if I do that?"
"Yeah," said Jared. He really did sound like a younger version of himself.
Tom moved in and kissed Jared lightly on the head. He kissed him again on the cheek, and then playfully on the neck, enough to tickle Jared a little. Jared squirmed and laughed a little, but didn't seem to mind. "Was that OK?" Tom asked.
"It was nice," Jared said, "But I'm a little ticklish."
Those last words seemed like an invitation, so Tom said, "So Jared is a ticklish boy?"
"Yeah," Jared said playfully, "A little."
"How about if I start slowly?" Tom said. He started drawing his fingertips gently across Jared's chest, stomach, and sides. At a couple of points by his ribs, Jared squirmed as the rush of a tickling sensation echoed through him. Tom concentrated a little more pressure at Jared's ribs and Jared collapsed into giggles.
Tom pulled back, but then Jared said, "You don't have to stop." More surely, Tom dug his fingertips into Jared's sides and Jared laughed and fought back a little. The two men began wrestling a little more forcefully, both laughing, and collapsed into a hug.
Without thinking about it, Jared suddenly said, "I wish I had a big brother like you."
Tom's heart melted and he said, "I can be your big brother, Buddy. Do you want to be my little brother?"
"Yeah," said Jared, "I'd really like that."
"What would you like to do with your big brother, Buddy?"
"I don't know," said Jared, tentatively. "Play together... sleep in the same room together... tell each other secrets...."
Tom's heart was beating faster now, "Mmmmm, wow, that sure sounds nice. When we sleep in the same room, is it OK if we share the same bed, like we're doing now?"
"Yeah," said Jared, "I like this a lot." Then he added, "I like you a lot, Tom."
Tom felt a pang in his heart. He said, "Awwww, I like you a lot, Jared," Tom leaned in, and the two men's lips touched very gently and just held there for a long time. Both men were barely breathing at first, and time seemed to stop.
Then, as they held their lips together, Jared's breathing intensified. He felt so safe with Tom at that moment, as he had never felt with any man before. Just daring to tell Tom that he liked him was a huge step for Jared. And he could feel the truth in Tom's words back to him. It felt so good that all of a sudden the feeling flooded into his whole body and his heart started pounding.
Suddenly, without thinking, Jared threw back the covering over both him and Tom, revealing his smooth, toned body covered only by his white briefs. Tom could see that underneath, a small but noticeable bulge was pulsating there.
"Wow, Little Brother," said Tom, "What's going on."
Jared answered, "My penis is starting to get kinda stiff." He still spoke in his slightly higher voice.
"Wow, Buddy," Tom said, "How does that feel?" As Tom asked that, he started to rub both of Jared's nips.
Jared's hand moved to the area and began rubbing himself through the front of his underwear. "It feels really good," said Jared.
Tom asked, "Is it OK if I see, Little Brother?"
Jared answered, "You're my Big Brother, so I guess it's OK." He lifted the front elastic waistband of his tighty-whities to reveal his short penis, which was pressing forcefully up against inside of his briefs. Then, he lifted the waistband up and over his penis and wedged it under his balls. Tom was once again viscerally struck by the thickness of Jared's dick in this state. He had always felt that his own thin penis was somehow less than manly, and associated thickness even more than length as a sign of virility.
But for Jared, revealing how short his penis was to another guy was a big deal. He knew from having measured it in every possible way over the years that on the best of days, his length never topped out at much more than 3.25 inches. By any standard, that was just embarrassingly small, as he had been told many times over the years, by a variety of men, both in words and silently.
But beyond this, another secret source of shame for Jared was the way the he liked to rub himself. He knew from experience that most guys took their whole dick in their fist and jacked it in a good, strong way. Jared had tried that on many occasions, but it never felt right, so he always had to revert to the way he had learned when he was first entering puberty -- when his penis was so small that the other boys had curiously examined him in the shower room.
In those days, when he first began to experience erections, his penis was so small that he couldn't grasp it with his whole hand. Instead, the best way to stimulate it was between his thumb and index finger. He would grip his penis just below the head, and his shaft was so short that these two fingers completely encompassed the tiny length of it. Then, all Jared needed to do was repeatedly squeeze the head of his penis between his two fingers to make his whole penis feel good.
That small motion was still Jared's favorite feeling. Knowing that it wasn't really how a man takes care of his business, Jared had tried repeatedly during adolescence to switch over to a more manly looking way of rubbing himself. But it never felt good enough to get him off, and inevitably Jared had to revert to his preferred way of pleasuring himself, even though he felt ashamed doing it. He knew that it made his little penis look even smaller and more ridiculously boysized, but he just couldn't get off any other way.
So it took a good deal of courage now for Jared to take his small erect penis between his finger and thumb in front of Tom and begin rubbing it. As he did so, Tom kept rubbing one of his nipples and started licking the other, which intensified the feeling inside Jared. He knew as he did so that his penis was woefully small. He knew that he didn't jack it properly, like a man should do, but just held it and squeezed it like a boy, but he just couldn't help it.
Maybe, he was just a boy trapped in a man's body.
The thought suddenly electrified him. Tom was now rubbing just beneath his balls, and still stimulating both of his nips. It felt good, and even more so because this was Tom, a man he shared so much comfort with. Deep inside himself, he dared to think it once again:
Maybe I'm just a boy trapped in a man's body.
It all made sense: His little penis that had never fully grown. His nervousness around sex, and the feeling that somehow when he was sexual with a man, he was always outclassed. Even the embarrassing way that he needed to rub his penis, a habit he could never break.
Maybe I'm really just a boy, he thought again, and the feeling that flooded in was one of intense relief. Finally, he didn't have to pretend any more -- at least to himself. And as that relief sent a jolt of adrenalin through Jared, his erection intensified and he felt helpless as a rush of sexual energy surged through him.
"Oh God," he said, "I'm getting close." Then, "I'm gonna cum so hard. I'm gonna cum. AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhh....."
Tom watched as Jared's thick penis squirted once, then again and again, delivering a huge dose of cum onto both men's chests. And even after Jared began to slow down, his balls were still delivering more cream in smaller spurts onto his stomach.
"Good job, Buddy," Tom said, holding Jared even closer.
Jared felt good, but too wiped out to respond. At one point, he felt Tom rubbing his chest and stomach with a towel, and just enjoyed being taken care of in that moment. He then felt Tom draw the comforter up over both of them, and the two men instinctively cuddled into each other. Then together, they dropped into a nap.
To be continued...
Thanks for reading! I've received a surprising number of responses from readers who can relate to Jared and Tom -- either as a guy with a small penis, a guy who cums quickly, or a guy who is slow to get hard. Just know that you're not alone, my friend. And if you've thought about writing, please do: judestjude2357@gmail.com. I promise to do my best to answer, especially if you're feeling alone with no one to talk to about this stuff. Thanks again, TJ