This story is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to any person, place, or written works are purely coincidental. It may contain consensual sex between young men. Do not read if you find that objectionable or if it is illegal for you to view this content for whatever the reason.
Copyright 2009 Jade. All Rights Reserved. Do not post, copy, or use this story in any manner without my permission.
Comments / criticism / feedback? Always love to hear from you at : phantomscorpio77@gmail.com.
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In This Cruel World
Once Benji recovered from pneumonia our families had accepted the fact that I'm gay and Benji sometimes feels so inclined to make love to me. Talk about walking around on eggshells with that one. So far it's managed to be kept between our families; Katy and Yvonne don't know. An unfortunate result is that both sets of parents are now disinclined to let us sleep over with each other, but I get it.
I also get that school lets out an hour and a half before quitting time for Mom, and two full hours before Dad can call it a day. Factor in traffic and that gives us at least an extra fifteen minutes. A lot can happen in that time! The only problem is that Benji's too afraid to put that to the test now that he knows his dick isn't going to fall off!
While the sex has completely dried up for the time being, he isn't pushing me away in other areas of our lives like he used to. No, we've pretty much been back to best friends for the last while. Damn, how I love my boy!
I was supposed to go get my learners permit for driving that weekend when I came out to my family and the Hartkainen's, but was so miserable the week leading up to it I didn't bother to study for the test. I studied the handbook a lot more and managed to pass on my first try the next weekend.
Benji was off school for almost two weeks, but when he was ready to come back he'd lost some serious weight. Most weeknights when I don't have work Benji and I are now hitting the health centre downstairs in my building, working out and trying to put some mass back on him. Yvonne hasn't been happy taking a backseat in my life lately either, so she has joined us every time and even has Katy coming along too. I don't get it, but even though I am now `out' Yvonne is still holding on to the notion that we're dating. She says just because we're never going to marry and have kids doesn't mean I can't still be her boyfriend. Um, I don't think it works that way, but whatever.
Another development during the first few weeks of me being out, along with my fight and subsequent make-up with Benji, is that my water polo game has improved. I don't relate the two; it's not like anger or love for Benji has anything to do with my focus or skill in the pool. It's merely coincidence. I don't even think it has anything to do with working out. But it's gotten me a starting spot for every game so far this season and I'm consistently top-five in our division in scoring! In fact, along with a teammate named Aiden I was approached by the coach from the University of British Colombia, and asked to come out to the city club that he also oversees. Nearing the end of the school year now I am also a starter for the city squad!
With the summer approaching my mom got Benji a job alongside me with Parks and Recreation as summer groundskeepers. Benji originally was to be a fill-in for me when I go to Scotland for a month this summer, but my mom's managed to fandangle it into a permanent summer position for him. Under the supervision of a college student we are going to terrorize long grass all over the city with gas powered weed whackers and riding mowers!
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Near the end of May I came across a random guy on Gay.com. His name is Jon and he lives in Houston, Texas. He was in the Vancouver chat room when I came across him. I don't ever actually enter the rooms; just troll them for who's in them and hit-up guys that I think may be safe. Jon and I hit it off immediately and I must admit I have the biggest internet crush on him. I haven't seen a picture of him, and we never really discuss sex much, but he is so in tune with my interests and I hope every time I sign onto MSN that he's online. He just makes me giddy!
I lied to him at first, not telling him exactly how experienced I was, and I also padded my age by a year. As we talked more we both revealed that we were in fact 16 not 17, and laughed over the fact that we both tried the same lie. We've since exchanged a bunch of emails, some music, and chatted a lot. I'm certain that he is a real person not some whack-job predator.
He's got a boyfriend, and his best friend seems like a great guy too. But he is closeted and not so sure of himself at times. An example would be baseball. His friend Tim is a huge baseball nut and makes him play. One day Tim suggested Jon should wear protection. Jon was too embarrassed to ask Tim to help him buy a cup, and too embarrassed to ask his boyfriend that he has sex with! So now in June he's turned to me, thousands of miles away across the internet on MSN.
"SOS Duncan! Don't laugh at me please. Kay...my friend Tim changed out of his school uniform in front of me and gave it to me. He also says I need to get a cup for baseball, he didn't give me that part. He has two kinds of cups and puts them in sliding shorts. Yes, I've perved on him. But, without being able to try one on how do I know what size and shape I need? Is there like a tool to measure? I've never had one and they make me both nervous and hella horny."
I still feel bad about the first time we chatted, I told him that I wasn't fully out, because I found myself instantly liking his wit and didn't want to seem too experienced for him. So since then I've only offered full honesty. This time will be no different, "LOL! Gimme your stats. Not your dick unless it's under an inch hard or over like six soft. Waist, height, weight, shoe size. Oh, and do you trim your nails or bite them?"
"Waist 31", 5'11" tall, I weigh 140ish I think, and size 8.5-9. Um, my thing's a very nice handful when I'm alone, and a good mouthful when I'm with Chris. I never bite my nails. Here, if you want to see a picture of me go to this addy. My school's trying out an online yearbook. Click on the "Strike A Pose" link and scroll down like 20 pictures. There's a close-up picture of my friend Tim in his baseball uniform making love to the camera. You can see why I'm hooked on him...In the next picture I'm the guy under his right arm, so on the left of the picture."
"Aight, I'll check out your picture later, for now don't start biting your nails over this, it's no big deal. So you're like a small to medium with undies? Go with that for a strap. You're tall enough, try a medium. There are 2 or 3 sizes for the cup. Youth, Teen (sometimes), and Adult. You are an adult. Style is a preference. What works for me may fit like crap on you. You either find the right one or just get used to whatever you get."
I can almost feel his embarrassment as he asks, "How does yours fit? Good, or do you live with it?"
"Fits fine. I may not own the prize salami, but I'm not just a breakfast sausage either. I swap it out with Benji but that's besides the point. In our experience a banana cup is most comfortable, and fits best with most of it in front of us and the pointed bottom between our legs almost parallel with the ground. So try a banana cup, they are the most versatile and by far the most comfortable once you actually get used to wearing one. After a while you forget it's there. Just don't get a flat one, no guy's body is flat so they never fit comfortably. When you buy it, sleep in it for a while. Sounds perverto, but if you're just getting your very first one now it will help mold it to you a bit and get you comfortable in it. You don't want to keep adjusting yourself and getting hard with all the cute boys in theirs around you!"
He shoots back, "Thanks Dunny!"
Now I toy with him a bit. His best friend's baseball uniform pealed right off his body? I know that's like a holy grail to Jon, "No prob Jiffy. Hey, how's Tim's uniform?"
He doesn't catch on, "Too big on me."
I get more direct, "You beat off smelling it?"
"No. Thought about it, but he's my friend and I have, have, have to separate the friend from the sex symbol," he relates.
I would have, and tell him so, "I would have. If you haven't washed it go for it. He'll never know, and he gave you the thing right off his body anyways! Probably wants you to worship it."
I do understand how bad Jon has it for his friend. As he writes back I feel shitty, but still, it's just harmless fun, "Maybe. I have a hard time with him. He is so straight and he likes pushing the envelope with me. He `pants' me all the time in his pool and he takes his time stripping naked in front of me and changing. Do you know how hard it is to not check him out? But if I do, I won't be able to be friends with him. I need his friendship, I'm so in love with him!"
I tease, "LOL. Just do it, you know you want to!"
Jon takes a few moments to relpy. His resolve must be breaking. Now I feel bad for toying with him, "Nope, putting it in the wash now to take care of things, brb."
A few minutes pass, but only a few, "Back. It's in the wash. The pits were too rank anyways and the rest smells like dirt."
"Aight. Hey, gimme your real addy. Like where you live. I have a CD I wanna send you," I say.
He doesn't hesitate to gives me his address. We chat for a while about random stuff, his boyfriend, and Benji and me before we sign off. I fill him in on my preppy clothes thing I've been doing for the last little while and how people react to all my recent changes. After Jon signs off I check out his school's web page.
I know the jock talk baffled Jon so I get a little devious. He's more or less the same stats I was last summer. I've grown a size this year to a large, so I have all new baseball stuff. The real reason I got his address is that I am going to send him all my baseball stuff from last year for shits and giggles except my glove. A left handed person's glove won't do him any good. My size 8.5 cleats, my jock that has seen use for 2 or 3 years that's down in my hockey bag right now, sliding shorts, my pinstripe pants and sleeveless jersey, and Bike undershirt. He can either use any or all of it, or just throw it all out.
Except for the cleats it's all washed and smells like laundry detergent so I will wear it all to bed for a few nights like pajamas and get a bit of my scent into it. Hopefully he catches on and jerks off to me. That would be hot! Having directed me to his school's online photo section, while he may not be the next Brad Pitt he definitely fits on my fuckable list as opposed to my ugly list. Yeah, like the fuckable kind I could really develop a fatal attraction over.
His style is all over the place, always in slim t-shirts advertising one rock band or another, baggy jeans or shorts, running shoes with ankle socks, and one of those watches that's on a 2 inch leather band. His hair seems to fluctuate between two different hair styles, but it could be that some of the pictures were when he did it one way and the others are after he changed it or something. A couple things strike me; he has a studded collar on in one picture that I strangely like on him, and his brown eyes draw me in.
I know it's weird but I can't look directly into his eyes in the picture; he has such a piercing gaze. While I scope out other kids in his school I burn a CD for him; just to keep my word I'm actually sending him a Heart CD in the box that I think he'll like. He'll be surprised at the size of box he's getting, but the promised CD will be in there.
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So now into June water-polo is winding down, and baseball is winding up. Benji has convinced me to play this year, and I have to say I'm happy he did. Soccer has also kicked in, so my nights are crazy, but I love it.
In addition to that I have decided to take German at the community centre with Yvonne. She felt the summer course will be a waste with me going away for a month, so we're starting in September. She obviously has an edge on me having lived there and learned it, but it's not a competition, just us doing something together. I feel pretty confident if it is a competition because it's not drastically different from Finnish which I feel comfortably fluent at reading, writing and speaking. Plus Yvonne doesn't know, but I am still doing the summer class anyway, so I'll already have some of it down when we take it together in the fall!
I've been taking Mandarin for years, at first with Peter and Etienne, and will continue too until I get my general proficiency certificate in it like them. Their dad teaches it Sundays as he was a native liaison to the British government in Hong Kong, and they relocated here well in advance of the country being handed back to China. He actually teaches Mandarin and Cantonese here for a living now.
So, now along with French and Spanish that we learn in school I can speak parts of six languages. I want to round that out someday with Russian, Italian and maybe Japanese. Big goals, but who knows? Languages, accents and dialects fascinate me.
The other big thing in my life is that everyone's pushing me to go for student body president for next year. I like their support and zeal, but I was thinking more possibly of running for grade 12 rep. Cameron and Etienne are more suited for president out of our friends, more interested, and both have previous student body experience. If it comes down to a popularity contest none of us will win, but I think I just may throw my hat in the ring for grade 12 rep.
Benji sure is supportive of the idea, on the way back from a Friday night baseball game he enthuses, "It would be so awesome for you Dunc to be President, but I get why you just want to be class rep. You've got my vote!"
"And you have my vote for the Mr. Kitsilano competition," I say, licking my lips at him as I eye him head to toe.
"It's my package isn't it," He jokes, grabbing his crotch.
`Yeah. Your whole package, you're a wet dream come true Benji,' I think to myself. The more I worship him the more I'm afraid he'll cut things off completely with me so I keep them inside. Our common ground is kinky, so I play the part to what he just said, "Yeah, it's the package. I can't wait to peel you out of it and have a shower with what's under it."
Although he doesn't like comments from me obsessing over him I can get small concessions out of him. Like tonight for instance; he conceded it would be quicker to get to the party at Shawna's if I have a shower at his house. Once he agreed to that it didn't take much to push his buttons and get him agree to a shower together at his place.
Oh my, Benji unloads so much pent up sexual frustration on me in the bathroom. It's very sensual as we undress each other, out lips hardly losing contact even as we get into the tub together. We wash each other in the shower and his hands roam my body every bit as much as he lets mine touch his. Today it seems like we're back to his old rule, everything's game but his butt. I don't know what brings it on, but rather than dressing in his bedroom he envelops my naked body in his and we end up on his bed. Benji dotes over me on the bed and when we're done making love I just want to curl up with him and lay this way forever.
We hit the shower again and then actually dress. I pick out what I want from his dresser and closet and dress head to toe in his clothes. His parents are at my place for a night of euchre with two other couples, but Kimi is on the couch waiting for us. After Kimi gets in his comments about us and what he knows we were up to, he drops it and we all head over to Shawna's.
The following week Benji ditches Katy one day and we head over to his empty house. We hear someone come home but are both sure it has to be Kimi, so when his mother opens his bedroom door we are in a very obvious, very compromising position.
This leads to another meeting of the heads between our parents. In light of the incident they suggest we start having sleepovers again. It's accompanied with requests and warnings from our parents about not having sex, but who are we kidding. They never come right out and say why, although his mom suggests it is better than walking in on us again after school while we're in the act. So now we basically are allowed `conjugal' visits one night a week, and only on weekends. Behind Benji's back everyone cautions me to not fall into the trap of unrequited love.
For the last weeks of school we aren't comfortable with the arrangement, feeling self imposed pressure with the sleepovers. It's hard for us to do it, knowing our parents are in the next room assuming and even expecting that we are having sex. We leave the bedroom door wide open and just snuggle together in our boxers instead. [For not being gay, he sure loves me holding him tight all night long.] Our parents seem appeased by this, thinking they've outsmarted us and made us too uncomfortable to have sex now that it's condoned by them. Instead my bedroom has become our love nest two to three times a week before we head down to the health centre, before my parents get home. Only Kimi and the cashier at the at the drugstore in my building know how active Benji and I have become.
Benji's doing a great job of keeping Katy in the dark, I get little juicy bits of gossip from Yvonne about those two together. I am so insanely jealous of Katy that Benji is in love with her while I am in love with him. I'm almost certain Yvonne has caught on to this. If only they knew that he's making love to me while only holding Katy's hand and kissing her! Contrary to the arrangement our parents set up for us, his parents and her parents are doing a great job of making sure they don't get any time together unsupervised. As for Yvonne and me, well, it doesn't matter how much time we spent alone together for the obvious reasons.
[to be continued]
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Note to the reader: For those reading this in real time [as it's written] I am sorry for the delay in this post, and that it's lighter on substance. Time just doesn't seem to allow me to work on ITCW as often as I'd like, and I figured I'd get this chapter up for now and try harder to find time for the next chapter.
Thanks to those of you that wrote and encouraged me to continue the story. I assure you I haven't stopped writing and won't leave the story incomplete! Whether you're reading this as I post, or at some later date I do love to hear from all of you! Please let me know what you think, cheers!!
~Jade.