Copyright © 2013-2014 by Jaden Lane, All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval storage system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. (Permission to post electronically is given to www.nifty.org and its affiliated mirror sites only.)
Nifty would like our help to continue to provide us with wonderful stories. Please donate if you can. http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
!!!Check out my new website where I have this and all my stories posted!!! www.phantomscorpio77.com Please be of legal age to read this material, and tell me what you think.
).:.(<<
In the Shadows of Our Lives Part 2 - Wings of Tomorrow XV ~ Vancouver or Bust ~
"Days filled with joy, And days filled with sorrow. I don't know just what to do. Am I happy today? Am I lonely tomorrow? Everything depends on you."
Open Your Heart, By Europe
"And everyone I've met has made what I am today, And every choice I've made has led me here today, And every time I see your face I find my way."
New Love in Town, By Europe
).:.(<<
JON
As April springs upon us, much of the focus of our senior class turns to university and college acceptance letters. Being practical incase Vancouver doesn't work out for whatever the reason saw Paul and I also apply to the University of Texas, at Arlington. Monday following the Beach Bash brought with it acceptance letters for both Paul and I. That's great, but we want the same programs through their partnership with the university in Vancouver, where we can get dual degrees, and more importantly start our life there.
Tim already knows he's going on a scholarship to West Lafayette, Indiana where he will try to leave his mark in the collegiate record books playing second base for the Perdue Boilermakers in division 1 baseball. It will be the first time in years he and Mickey are separated. I guess that's a big thing to both of them; they feel they work as one when on the field. Mickey will be in the same conference as a Falcon at Bowling Green State University in Ohio. Tim is really excited though for the chance to prove his mettle, and stick it in the faces of the Notre Dame recruiters, while studying in the relatively new field of occupational health that involves the interactions of people and computers.
After his visit, I filled Candace in on Duncan's holiday week with us and all of his crazy voices and accents. I was surprised to find out she has applied to the University of Illinois in Chicago for a languages program similar to the one he's planning on taking in Vancouver. After nearly a year on the cruise ship she discovered she loves the cultural diversity she's encountered and it inspired a passion for her to become a translator. In some ways I wish it were me and not her that will be mere hours away from Tim. Following Paul's and my acceptance to college here at home in Houston, her acceptance letter was the next to arrive.
Towards the end of the third week of April as I arrive home from work there I discover a fat, oversized white envelope from the University of British Columbia waiting for me on the kitchen table. I hardly have my shoes off before everyone in the house pounces on me. I want to wait until Paul gets his too, but no one will go for it. I actually shake with anticipation as I sit at the table. Ma and Tim are all smiles and Larry nods reassuringly. Paul is leaning forward behind me with his arms around me and his chin resting heavily on my shoulder.
As soon as I saw the size and felt the weight of the envelope I was relieved. One down, one to go. Sure enough, I am accepted to two of the three programs I applied to. Despite my draw to the arts, making order out of numbers fascinates me. While some may find accounting boring, I can see myself being happy in it, and it's the one I am going to choose. The second program I am accepted to is Law Studies. I put it on the application as a bit of a curiosity to see if I could get accepted, with the idea of getting into business law if I didn't get accounting. I'm thankful that the one that I didn't get accepted to of the three, Criminology, is the one I cared the least for. I guess I won't be a real-life detective on Law & Order.
Unfortunately my application for special residence with Paul and Belinda has either been denied, or overlooked. Instead there is a different questionnaire than the one we originally filled out, to determine what residence is best for me. A pit forms in the bottom of my stomach that it's because somehow Paul hasn't been accepted.
The following Monday four thin letter size envelopes are waiting for Paul when we get home from school. Both our hopes drop. Pragmatically, Paul sets to opening the first of the four. I hug him tight and kiss him as he reads it, ready to vow to reject my acceptance and go to school here with him. He scans the first letter and quickly sets it aside. He's emotionless and he does the same for the next three.
"I'm so sorry P. I'll decline Vancouver and we can go to school here. Maybe we can transfer after a year," I offer.
Paul shuffles the four letters into some order and pries me off him. He is stoic as he hands them to me and meekly suggests, "Nah. Read them and weep, Jonny Appleseed."
I take them and read the bold text on the first one, `We regret to inform you that your application for a student apartment within Barrett Hall has been declined at this time. We will keep your family on the waiting list, and are happy to offer you shared accommodation in another student residence instead.'
I'm confused, "Kay...wait, I don't get it. Oh shit, you ass! You got in?"
Paul flips the top page to the bottom and shows me the following page. It indicates there are stipulations and requirements to being a part time student, and while accepted, he must contact the admissions office as soon as possible to iron out some details. The third page outlines different options for financial aid available for student parents. The final page is actually a second form from the housing department, indicating that upon further review Paul and Belinda have been approved for a single suite' within Barrett Hall if he so desires, and remains on the waiting list for a larger studio'.
While I'm absorbing what I've read, Paul sets the letters down and mashes his lips to mine. I'm trembling as we make out. Ending the kiss he pulls back, smiles the biggest smile I've ever seen on him, and then hugs me tight. He is so happy that he lifts my feet off the floor and twirls me around! I am so relieved! I can't even remember the last time I cried now, but I'd be a liar if I said the corners of my eyes aren't welling up with tears of joy. I fucking love Paul with all my heart! It's overwhelming to see his dream, our dream, become reality. I think I finally understand what Tim meant when he once told me he'd take an adrenaline-high over a pot-high any day. This feeling is indescribable.
At lunch the next day we forgo the weight room and Larry brings us into his office so that we can use the phone. Paul calls the admissions office to clear up the details surrounding his part-time status. In the course of the conversation I come up a few times regarding Belinda. Satisfied with the information, the admissions officer asks him about our student accommodation.
I can only hear his end of the conversation, "Well, I'm in Barrett Hall with Belinda. My boyfriend was given a list of possible dorms, and a questionnaire. I guess they didn't take our joint application."
"Oh. I see. Nah, we're not legally committed, as in like, married. That's not even an option for us. But he is my daughter's other dad. She's starting to talk, and she calls us both `Dad'. And we're young, but he is my husband, just minus the piece of paper and the state of Texas' blessing."
"Thank you! Yes ma'am, he's right here."
"Jonny, she wants to talk to you," Paul hands me the phone.
I take the phone, "Hello."
She's direct, "Are you and Paul in a committed relationship?"
"Yes. I love him and Belinda more than life," I profess.
"Aww. Listen to you two love-bunnies with your accents! I was just explaining to your man that school policy is for first year students to be housed in male only and female only dorms. Don't ask me why. All I can say is that they must have their reasons, and whatever those reasons are, they stick to 'em. After first year there are mixed dorms. Now in the rare instances when we have a couple in residence that has a child, I'm sure they get priority for the cramped little shoe boxes we like to call studios, second only to students with physical handicaps. I'm going to put you on hold and see if my friend over in housing is free," She says.
"She's putting me on hold and calling a friend over in the housing department," I indicate to Paul and Larry.
We spend all lunch and most of the next period of class time on the phone with the university. They can't offer Paul and Belinda a larger accommodation because they are all assigned to handicapped students, but if Paul and I are willing, they can assign me to the same dorm room, essentially cutting half our housing costs.
We'll have to sign and fax back a waiver stating that we understand there is only one bed, and no other housing will be offered should our relationship deteriorate. That is not going to be a problem. I know it's melodramatic of me, but I already can't live without my guy and our little girl. We eagerly agree. Once they mail off the waiver and we sign it, we'll be officially set! After hanging up the phone I hug Paul and swing him around like he did to me last night. We keep the affection to that as we are aware of our surroundings. We are specifically mindful of the big glass window in the door to Larry's office, and the wall of clear windows open to the handful of students hanging around outside near that side of the school.
"This calls for a celebration, husband," Paul states.
"Husband, huh? Kay. Yeah, I like that! In fact, I love that, Husband," I answer.
Paul suggests, "What's say we skip the rest of the afternoon?"
I grin at him, "And head home and celebrate?"
"Nah. We'll celebrate that way in bed tonight, don't you worry! I was thinking the day's to damn gorgeous outside to not go for a swim at Virginia Point. It's something I've wanted to do with just you since we met, and especially after seeing Duncan, and Nev and Bailey soak it up when we were there in the winter. Who knows if we'll get another chance before we're off to Vancouver."
"Done and done! Funny we decide it right here, in Larry's office. I think his first words to Ma from that phone were that I was skipping classes like a girl with a skipping rope," I muse, "me skipping off brought them together, and Ma couldn't be happier. So whenever anyone tells me no good can come from cutting class, they don't even know what they're talking about!"
"So that's a yes?"
I wink, "One hundred percent. The only question is if you stare at my ass or not when you try to keep up with me as I run out of this place!"
Paul is a little more pragmatic and has us stop by Tim's gym locker so that we can swipe a couple pair of mesh shorts from his collection of sweaty laundry that builds as the week progresses. We change into them, going commando, and stuff our shorts into out backpacks. They're used, but not ripe, and once we get into the ocean they'll be clean again.
Paul insists I drive to the beach now that I have my full license. He even refers to it as our car. I get us there as quick as the speed limit allows, and we frolic in the surf and sprawl out on the beach and just lose ourselves in each other for a couple hours. All to soon we have to leave as Paul has work tonight and Belinda is at her sitter, but this is another memory that will be burned into my heart, being here, so relaxed and carefree, and so in love.
).:.(<<
PAUL
Once everything is settled with the university a huge weight is lifted from our shoulders. Now there's just the pressure of making sure we maintain our grades for the remainder of the year. Looking at the big picture, what I had dubbed `The Plan' has been a success. I got my man. We're going to school together. We're packing up Belinda and going to set down roots in a place we're led to believe will be much easier for us to be a young gay couple. There have been unintended consequences along the way. I'm out. A handful of people know about me for sure, and it's certainly more than I intended. People also know about Vancouver.
I know now that it would have been impossible to keep the whole thing under wraps, but I really wanted to give my family the slip and leave them forever wondering. When they eventually learn from the Wilsons or Wayne's family that I snuck away there with my boyfriend they'll have closure. The fact that I'm gay will give them all the justification they need to consider me dead to them.
Yet, in the big picture of my life, that's small apples. Things could be worse.
Instead of just being dead to them, I could be like Neville, whose homophobic father actually plotted his murder. In the end I get what I want and need for Belinda and myself in Jon, and our new start. Rather than forever feeding off of petty revenge towards my parents, I get closure. It still burns me to some extent that I work at the store my dad is the general manager of, and he makes sure to avoid me altogether, or refuses to make eye contact. On the upside, he didn't have me fired after he and Mamma kicked me out.
Acceptance to a faraway school is a double edged sword I'm finding. It's like a countdown timer was started the moment we knew it all was sorted. There are less than two months left with my best friends. Wayne can be a real ass about his refusal to accept my sexuality, yes, but in truth he could be infinitely worse about it than he has been. He still values me as a friend and is surprisingly more tolerant of everything than I've maybe given him credit for. He and Jackie have been the two guys that I grew up with and went through everything with. We have shared darn near everything there has been to share in our lives.
I can see things with Wayne coming to an end someday because I am not going to change myself. I am gay. I do love another man with all my heart. It's who I am, and if it is against God's will I am truly sorry. That is between me and Him, and my soul will have to deal with the consequences of the sins of my flesh. But here I am on God's green earth. Jon and I will teach Belinda the morals and values of the bible and society. I will love Jon with my all and do my best to make him happy as we pursue an honest life together. I will always do my best to be a Good Samaritan and humanitarian and accept what fate awaits me down the road.
I am going to miss those guys dearly. From church, to team sports, right down to the most inconsequential of silly conversations over the years, I have a lifetime of great memories. Leaving them behind is going to rip a hole in my heart. I am going to be relying on Jon more than he knows to heal the wound. I just won't be able to reveal how grievous the wound will be. Like me, he is already steeling himself for inevitable. In truth I think he's doing a better job of coping than me. He has an inner strength I am just discovering.
As petty as it, is I am surprised. Delightfully surprised. I don't always have to be the rock. Jon doesn't even know that he is showing me exactly what I need to see. We are in this together and when one of us falters the other will carry him until we can both stand on our own feet again. The heart and soul that's in him makes me want to cry, and hug him and hold him dearly close for all of eternity.
We are by no means growing distant from each other, but we dedicate what time we have left here less for each other and more for the other important people in our lives that we will be leaving behind. Jon is visiting his father's grave regularly. I let him do that alone. He has personal conversations with himself there and comes home cheery and upbeat. Other than my time with Wayne and Jackie, and Jackie's family, I spend a lot of nights home at Jon's. Even Tim has pulled away from most of his overwhelming baseball to just enjoy the time that's left.
Rather than the next epic party that every Friday and Saturday night promise, we're all picking our parties and instead spending the nights with our closer friends around a beautiful stone patio and fire pit we've helped Larry put in behind Jon's house. Into the first weekend of May now, Jon's back yard has actually become the place to be and more weekend nights than not have seen a fair sized group of Parkside seniors gathered.
The guys from the baseball team mostly come over with friends and girlfriends, and even some old friends from the football team like Barry Hershey and Train are showing up. Petty differences like baseball or football suddenly don't seem to matter anymore. For a lot of us the gatherings are an exclamation point on all the memories of twelve years of school together. Most people know that Belinda and I also live here now along with Tim, and have either bought into the lie that Jon and I are in fact straight, or just don't care one way or the other.
There is no wild party going on mind you. There's very controlled alcohol involved as Larry and Charlene have put Saturday Night Bingo on hold to watch over us. For those that are looking for more than a gathering, there are parties elsewhere, and yet even so, many of the partiers stop by first for an hour or more before heading elsewhere. And still, many stay and this is their evening. Windy spends a lot of time in my lap when Belinda isn't. It's something I took from Duncan along with a friend of his he's dying for me to meet. They spend their lunches playing and singing somewhere in or around their school as friends stop by and carry on.
On this night I have a private, surreal conversation with a longtime friend that drifted away from many of us this past year. He showed up because he remembered Jon likes to celebrate silly occasions like May Day, May the Fourth (be with you), and tonight; Cinco de Mayo.
Therrain Jackson, otherwise known to all of us as Train, pulls me aside, "Paulie, let's go for a short walk and talk."
Oh boy, this seems ominous, "Yeah, sure, let me just hand off Belinda."
"Nah, bring her. I haven't seen this little angel in ages," Train suggests to my relief.
When we get to the park a few houses down from Jon's place we veer towards a bench and sit down. Train starts into what he has to say, "Paulie. You have a charmed life my man. I'm so jealous."
Reaching into Jon's vocabulary I simply respond, "Kay."
He wrings his massive hands, "No, I mean it man. You have a daughter. You dodged most of the discrimination for being gay. Just danced right through it. Avoided most of it and only spun a few webs of distraction along the way. Not even lies, really. Stacey really was becoming a crazy white bitch for a while there. In the end you got the boy you were after. Everything I dream of, but can't have."
Jon always thought Train was one of us. I didn't see it. All the same, it doesn't phase me, "I'm sorry man. I guess it's easy when you have nothing left to lose like me. Being the biggest guy in school, the star of the football team, and one scary son of a bitch outside of school to boot, you have a lot riding on not being found out."
"I'd have zero chance at the NFL if I was out. Even if I wasn't out but had skeletons," Train agrees.
I couldn't stop myself with Jon. It was eating me alive and if it hadn't been on a ride at the fair it would have happened some other way. I ask Train, "How do you do it?"
"Coach. He's kept my head straight for four years. Kept me from outing myself. Kept me from chasing after your boy myself with a gun when I found him and my little Half-Way snuggled up like peas in a pod. Kept me from dealing and out of gangs. That white-ass muscle-bound egg-head is the only one that never shows me any fear. Hell, I'm not even half his age but I think he could take me. I know he thinks he can," Train reveals.
I can't argue that, "Yeah, he may be more intellectual than anyone would expect, close to a PHD in psychology even, but to look at him, everyone's first impression is to not mess with him. He's darn sure of himself. Did you know he was almost a biker? Such a random chain of events link us all together and we never knew. Life comes full circle it seems. While you were evidently mad Jon got Daniel, I was devastated Daniel got Jon. We both reacted the same way, you and I. While you fucked and chucked all those girls, I got Stacey pregnant. I got Jon and you lost out on Daniel. Jon tells me Coach grew up with Daniel's dad and uncles but turned away from being a biker like them over a girl that he lost out on. Daniel's mom actually. There's irony in there somewhere."
Train nods, "A ton. When you get where you're going in life, Paulie, you hold that little squeegee-kid of yours tight. I hated him and liked him at the same time. I envied him. And no offence, but he was my second choice behind Daniel. Skinny little thing he was. Maybe would have been my first choice even, if he wasn't so emaciated. Well, that and if Daniel's Donkey-Kong dick didn't reach half way between his belly button and his nipples. I wonder if he ever had a growth spurt so that the body matched that thing? How it didn't make him fall over with its weight is a mystery!"
Laughing, I question, "Squeegee-kid?"
"Oh come on! Until Tim started dressing him and making him work out he looked like one of the homeless kids that wash your windows at intersections downtown! Legs half as big as my arms, ribs sticking out of his skin. A smaller waist than his any of his sisters. Never mind his belly-button, his stomach was an innie for Christ's sake! Probably was shopping for little kids underoos still so that they would stay up over his pointy little hips and then pants big enough for two of him. Tight Iron Maiden and Scorpions tee-shirts. That chain for his wallet. Studded leather bracelets. I think his dog is actually wearing the collar he wore in grade nine! He was a scrawny thing that couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. Now he wears real clothes and has pecs over that flat stomach of his. Nice bulge that shows well in proper fitting shorts. Still no ass though. Not a nice shaped ass like yours," Train punctuates the last statement by taking a firm squeeze of my butt cheek closest to him.
I toss my head back and shake it in exasperation, "I guess that's my redeeming quality. Everybody likes my ass. If Jon remembered my pizza-face when he and Daniel hooked up he'd have run screaming when I hit on him. I hope he sticks around when my ass starts to sag!"
When Belinda attempts to say `ass' I wince. We are now definitely into the monkey see, monkey do stage. Only with her it's mostly monkey hear, monkey say.
Train thinks it's hilarious while I stand up and start saying any and every similar sounding word I can think of.
"You just take care of Squeege Kid for me," He commands.
Heading back to Jon's I realize I got lucky to get him. Train remembers little things about him like his affinity for mundane holidays, something I guess I realized, but never processed. I make a mental note to remember to celebrate the next non-holiday for him as I continue to distract Belinda, "Bass. Crass. Cast. Fast. Last. Lass. Lassie. Mast. Mass. Pass. Past ..."
A little later with Belinda down for the count and sleeping inside, Windy has found her way back into my hands. Jackie starts picking a few chords away on his guitar and looks at me. I nod back and we start into my favourite song of all time. Call me lame, cheesy, whatever you want. It's a song I heard when I was really young and it has stuck with me for good. We stretch it out and by the end lots of our friends are singing the Alan Parson's Project song `Time' with us. It's melancholy and bittersweet. I'm happy that the moment and its meaning seems to echo in all our friends.
).:.(<<
JON
When Neville runs into Duncan and me chatting late one night, it's the wee hours of the morning for him. After slipping out of bed with Bailey because he can't sleep, he drops the bombshell on us that he was actually homeless for most of the last few years and that it's all caught up with him. He's getting a huge country-wide scholarship for his grades and with it is going to come a lot of spotlight we've already come to know he shies away from. On top of that, in the same meeting with the big honcho's at his school, he was also told that he is class valedictorian and needs to get to work on a speech.
We bounce ideas around and he likes one tossed out there of taking poignant lyrics from various songs he knows and stitching them together to be the framework of his speech. He asks Duncan and me to help throw some lyrics together as his talking points, and he'll fill in the rest. For the next couple days Duncan and I email a draft back and forth dozens of times a day, if not more. When we have it set, I print a copy of it out like a poster, with a picture of each CD cover that the lines are taken from appearing after each quote. <Jon's Poster>
Tim sees it and instantly wants me to go to Staples and have it blown up to poster size so that he can frame it and have it accompany the poster I already did for him. When Dee stops by, he tells her all about it and shows her. She gets an idea to actually turn it into a promotional poster for the upcoming grand opening of a fourth store in the little music store chain she is such a huge part of, building a theme of how music can inspire. She can also use it as a sales promotion in the existing stores. Within an hour of Tim setting the wheels in motion in her head, she's run it by her friend / chain owner, and the only alteration she wants to it is for the word art to be done in my handwriting, just like the poster in Tim's room.
).:.(<<
PAUL
We've tried to fly under the radar all year until we make the bold decision to unofficially go to graduation together, although as far as our tickets officially indicate, we are both singles. This didn't really shock anyone and all the guys we know from the baseball team act like bodyguards for us throughout the night. Train beat out Tim and Mickey for Prom King. Instead of a cheerleader being Prom Queen, it went to Andrea Dixon, who is a major jock in her own right. Of course our friends suggested that after the last few years that Jon should have been Tim's Prom Queen, but they said so in good nature, not out of hate. We leave early from the dance and head over to my house.
As I put my key in the door of the home I've lived almost my entire life in for the last time, the fact that we're actually doing this is the only coherent thought constantly flooding my mind over the pounding of my heart. Jon and I picked this weekend to leave because my parents and James, my one remaining brother still at home, will already be at Port Lavaca on the usual family camping trip, and the house will be empty.
Some lights are on, but I know they're on timers. As I open the door I can feel my pulse racing through my neck. My heart skips a beat as I almost expect to hear someone call out my name and foil my plan. Fortunately no one is home. I timed it this way perfectly so that I can make my final escape.
I had this pipe dream that my younger brother J would be home in the dark, inside, waiting to confront me. He'd have my plan all figured out right down to the exact timing of my final escape in the night. We'd have a brotherly moment where he accepts me, renounces our family's closed-mindedness, and vows to not be a marionette for our parents. He'd probably pronounce it Mary-Annette, and I'd have to correct him. He'd admonish me for painting him with the same brush as the rest of our family and show genuine hurt that I never trusted him. He'd give me a hug, Jon a handshake and a hug, and wish us the best.
Just inside the door, my feet are like cement as I play the fantasy out in my mind one more time. Jon must already be wondering what is taking so long, waiting for me in the van, but for a few minutes trapped by the weight of raw emotions, I can't manage to move.
).:.(<<
JON
In the morning Ma, Dee, Larry, and Tim see us off. Because of baseball Tim is actually going to stay a few weeks more before heading home for a month. From there he's leaving early for West Lafayette, Indiana and his future as a Perdue Boilermakers 2nd base / shortstop, under the watchful eye of the Milwaukee Brewers and their farm club Indianapolis Indians.
Even before the crack of dawn we start the long trek to Canada. Paul strums Windy and sings Runaway Train as we leave the Houston city limits.
).:.(<<
Wichita. We've made it as far as Wichita and now that we're stopped to rest for the night I feel sick to my stomach. I feel trapped. I can tell Paul about this, but all of a sudden I don't know if I should. He's supposed to be my life partner. If it were Tim I'd tell him in a heartbeat. That's why I feel trapped. This is the first time I've felt self-doubt about our moving away.
).:.(<<
PAUL
Ever have a surreal moment?
They call it déjà vu. Maybe it's the music, maybe the view, maybe the combination. I don't know. But it washes over me; like for a moment everything is so crystal clear, more vivid in a sense. Driving this unfamiliar highway, I 70 W, five hours from the hotel in Wichita as the sun continues to ascend to it's perch, having cleared the horizon a couple hours ago, I sense I've been in this exact moment before.
The up-tempo light song with misleading lyrics brings on the moment. The hair on the back of my neck stands up. Much like I've never been outside of Texas in all of my life save for a week at Disney World, I also am quite sure I've never heard this song before.
Of course it's not possible, yet I would swear on my life I've been in this moment before. At a much younger age I saw myself driving this very highway, heard this very song playing in the background.
I've seen this exact view through the windshield that stands before me. Overpass after overpass crossing the valley in which this interstate is nestled in. This exact hazy, gold-azure sky ahead, giving way to almost white on the horizons to my left and right and again, this exact song...For a moment it's all just electrically charged.
I feel so connected to life in this moment as my mind tells me I've already played this very instant out, only years earlier in my head. The song? I don't even know the name, again, I really don't think I've ever heard it before. I get goosebumps as I contemplate the certainty that I've lived this very moment years ago. As the goosebumps settle I relax into a state of calm.
I come to the conclusion that all this is meant to be as Jon looks over at me and asks, "What's wrong? Second thoughts?"
"No. None. You," I lie.
"Nope, me either," Jon says, clearly lying as well.
"This song. Do you know it," I ask, knowing that he does as he burned this CD.
"Uh, yeah," He affirms.
"Who is it? I swear I've heard it before," I reveal, still trying to place the moment.
Without a second's thought he answers, "You probably have. It's ABBA, One of Us. Why?"
My heart deflates, "Well there's a major reason I'll get to in a sec. But the song fits this moment too. One of us is lying, and it's not me. You're having second thoughts about all of this."
"Honestly? Yeah, big time. Paul, we're actually leaving everything behind. Like everything. It was one thing to talk about it, and another thing to plan it. But to actually do it? I feel sick to my stomach. And what's worse is that I didn't know how to tell you. And I know you're worried too."
I must look exactly as shocked as I feel judging by Jon's wince. My boy knows me well. I shouldn't have tried to fool him any more than he should have tried to fool me.
I offer, "We can turn back. Go back home and figure things out. Maybe work for a year or try and get late acceptance to something in Houston."
Jon rubs my leg, "Nah. Just remember I'm emotionally retarded. I mean, by now you have clearly figured out that I'm an emotional cripple and like pattern and routine in my life, kay. I'm so beyond nervous and worried, so for the moment we're just going to have to be strong for each other. We're going to do this. As long as I have you I'll manage."
"Kay, good. Because the reason I asked you about the song, which I swear I've never heard before let alone knew it was ABBA, is because I just had the most intense feeling of déjà vu ever, and it's washing away my doubt. Something tells me this is meant to be. I think things are going to be alright," I start, before explaining the whole moment to Jon.
I also smile inside as I notice that we've adopted each other's lingo and colloquialisms. Little things like my propensity for nah' are now part of his daily vocabulary, much like how I now often use kay' which is his personal adaptation of okay.
).:.(<<
JON
Five days out of Houston, as we cross the U.S./Canada border Paul sings and strums Don McLean's American Pie.
The first thing I really notice about Canada is the amount of French; for example, Chicken McNuggets are Poulet McCrouettes. Well, they're both apparently. At least according to the box they come in for Belinda from the McDonald's in White Rock just minutes through the border. Even before we stopped at the fast food giant I noticed that the border signs and initial road signs were bilingual. Hell, I was learning French words before I clued in that 100 kilometers an hour equates to about 55 miles per hour. Something told me that 100 miles an hour was wrong. Perhaps that I was going nearly twice as fast as traffic and still not quite hitting 100, yeah that might be it. Maybe Paul being a more experienced driver might have figured it out a lot sooner, but he was probably too excited too after crossing the border to notice.
An hour and five minutes into Canada, after a few wrong turns, I park in front of our new home for the summer. We share a long, gentle kiss before getting out of the van and stretching. Oh, what fun will ensue?
).:.(<<
Oh yeah...our song?
Way back on Valentine's Day we finally decided on "Tomorrow" by Europe. Paul sings it so beautifully that it gives us both chills.
"Will you be there beside me if the world falls apart, And will all of our moments remain in your heart? Will you be there to guide me all the way through? I wonder will you walk by my side, and follow my dreams, And bear with my pride, as strong as it seems? Will you be there tomorrow?
Will you be there beside me as time goes on by, And be there to hold me whenever I cry? Will you be there to guide me all the way through? I wonder will you walk by my side and follow my dreams, And bear with my pride as strong as it seems? Oh, will you be there? Oh, now will you be there, Will you be there, tomorrow?"
Tomorrow, by Europe
).:.(<<
And that wraps up this part of the story. If you've gotten this far, thank you for sticking with me. The next part of the story for Nifty readers will pick up in the college section and will bring in characters from the other two stories I have posted here. The first chapter will be posted on the same day as this chapter.
Again, this and all my stories are also posted in a less barbaric (as in not plain text) format on my own website, www.phantomscorpio77.com
Cheers,
Jade /ps77