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In the Shadows of Our Lives Part 2 - Wings of Tomorrow XIV ~ Houston, We Have A Problem ~
"It's time to break out from the cage, It's time to change your ways, It's time to find those shattered dreams That vanished in the haze. It's time to lose those concrete shoes, They held you down too long, 'Cause trouble's days have come and gone.
And the night has just begun, Another dawn is yet to come, Carry on my little one, girl from Lebanon."
Girl From Lebanon, by Europe
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PAUL
From the beginning of January through now, the beginning of March, I've tried to juggle everything in my life as best as possible. I think I've done so admirably. I went to school and did my homework, assignments, and studied. I went to work and saved as much money as I could. I made time for Jackie and Wayne, but Wayne hangs out with us increasingly less. That's okay. After Nat and Barry broke up just after Valentine's Day, she spends her time with us and more than fills Wayne's void. Wayne's absence opened the door for Jackie's girlfriend Shannon, and Tim and Nina, along with Mickey, Ray, and Drew from the baseball team along with his girlfriend Debbie, to form a new group of friends with us. Tania and Neil are hit and miss. Neil and Wayne buddy up a lot instead, and seem to only hang out with us if both of them are there.
Jon and I have settled into a good routine. We get to sleep together every weekend, and spend every Sunday together, whether just us, or with friends. We feel comfortable enough among our friends for a little public display of affection, but otherwise we keep the passion mainly between the sheets, or wherever it may happen when we're alone at his house. As for the PDA's, I mean things like little hugs, sometimes arms around each other, rare kisses. We only do so in controlled environments, not actually out in public. I'll admit that when sandwiched by friends, we have held hands at the movies. Beyond that, we're not going to walk the beach at Virginia Point or go shopping at the mall together hand in hand. Not in gay-fearing, gun-toting Texas.
Despite my bias to Stacey, after classes I've even brought Belinda by school with friends present, on the condition that Stacey keeps things civil. Yes, I do plan on cutting Stacey completely out of our lives, but I'm going to have to explain that to Belinda someday. Letting Stacey see her while I'm still here, and having pictures to show Belinda of her mother, and her with her mother, just seems the right thing to do. In truth, Stacey and I used to be good together, great even. But I deceived her, used her as a beard. Her overreaction to me is mostly justified.
Given that it's also my birthday, I'm well versed with the saying `Caesar, beware the Ides of March'. Well for me it happened ten days earlier. I just got home from a late Monday night shift at Wal-Mart. My brother J was sitting Belinda for me. I really thought my mamma had finally calmed down and would remain at least civil, if distant, to me. Boy was I wrong. Earlier in the day she heard the gossip through someone that I was letting Stacey spend a little time with me and Belinda. When I stepped in the house she was ready and waiting for me.
Mamma has a theory that Vice Principal Maynes' involvement is a lie, and that I am sleeping with Stacey again every weekend. She held up her bible and started almost chanting at me. She urged me to renounce my evil ways and pray for forgiveness. Hell, I can only imagine what she'd do if she knew I was having sex with my boyfriend! She also told me that after the lawyers and everything I had cost her and Daddy that I am not allowed to sleep under her roof anymore. She taunted me to crawl back to my sinner's bed and be with Stacey. Then she calmly told me to never come back. Daddy just stood by her and nodded his agreement.
Wow. That went exactly as I had always figured. Oh well, what's done is done. Although I have a spare, for effect I threw my key to her house at my mother. Not to be outdone, she threw her bible at me. I caught it and took it. I figure if she's going to just throw her beloved bible around, her good book', then I'll appropriate it from her hatred and abuse. That comforts me, as does the fact that her knowing her sinner son' stole her bible will piss her off to no end. Probably just as much as Daddy thinking I've sold off all the guitars I keep at Jon's.
So I've been without a home since March 5th. Technically. After a couple days of trying to stay at Jon's without his Ma and Larry knowing, his Ma sat us down and without even asking why, gave us the blessing for me to move in permanently.
A few days later James calls me to let me know that Daddy had taken Mamma to a doctor to see about getting her on anti-depressants. Daddy thinks she's psycho because she has two sons overseas right now serving peace keeping missions in different countries. I don't care. She needs something more than anti-depressants to make her not be a nasty bitch.
I just can't figure out why she can't love me. It hurts so much and still I just can't let anyone know. Not even Jon. He'll know in time how bad it hurts me, but by the time I tell him I'll be over it, because frankly, I don't plan on sharing that part of myself with him until I really am over my mother. Everything else yes, but my mommy-issues are off limits. At least that's the plan, for now.
Now that Daddy has hired Charlene away from her small grocery-store where she had over twenty years of loyalty with, I hope he doesn't take it out on her. She's currently making a lot more money as Head Cashier at his Wal-Mart. Losing that after really struggling over the decision to leave the other job would be such a bitter pill to take for her, and all because of me. Heck, I wonder if I still have a job there, come to think of it. I still badly need the job and the money myself. I guess I'll find out when I show up for my next shift.
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JON
Much like getting me as comfortable on ice skates as I am on rollerblades, Paul started to teach me guitar in January. He stole a really nice acoustic guitar from one of his brothers, John, who is stationed somewhere on American soil, and gave it to me. He explained the antique finish spruce-top, the mahogany sides and back, and rosewood bridge and fretboard. Most of it is lost on me. To me the front of it looks white-washed, or bleached. Nevertheless, Paul says it has a great tone. He gets really, super-excited whenever I hold it. I had to come up with a name for it at his insistence, and he explained that to him acoustic guitars get girl names, and electric guitars get guy names. I decided on Trinity, because I really like Carrie-Anne Moss in The Matrix.
Learning guitar is almost like having sex with Paul with our clothes on when he sits behind me, his body wrapping around mine. It's intimate. The first song I've been able to imitate anything recognizable on is The Air That I Breathe' by the Hollies. I won't say I am any good, or understand a thing about chords or keys yet, but with Paul showing me finger positions I am able to play along with him, badly. I am getting pretty good at a couple parts of The Boxer' by Simon and Garfunkel when I play with Paul. The rest I just muddle through.
Paul's favourite song of all time, Time' by Alan Parson's Project may take a while. We've been working at it longer, it's the first song Paul tried to teach me, and progress on it is very slow. With the two songs I can get all the way through with him, he has simplified them for me and I really am only playing a very basic rhythm chord while he does all the magic. On Time' I can play the basic parts, but when Paul joins in it messes me up.
And as a bigger blow to my ego, while I am messing around with a right handed guitar, and Paul's left-handed, he's a thousand times better than me when he shows me the finger positions. It blows me away that he can play right handed guitars like no one's business, yet I can hardly pick my way through simple parts.
In our quiet moments when he and I are the only ones around, with Belinda as an audience naturally, I feel uninhibited enough to even try singing. Well, I say that but really it's only because Paul won't stop coaxing me. I think I totally suck at that too, but Paul has continually encouraged me that I have a very sexy and sultry voice.
My Texan accent seems to get stronger when I sing, where he can make his all but disappear. I mean, when I try singing Simon and Garfunkel with him, he can almost sound English, while I notice I can't sound anything like I think I can in my head. Except for New York City last summer, my accent never occurred to me until I heard a playback of myself singing. In my humble opinion my voice and drawl are just plain wrong for the song.
Something else that has developed musically is Paul's influence on me. I was very much rooted in heavy metal and 1980's hair bands, with a little 80's pop from my mom's influence mixed in, and then current stuff like Offspring, Papa Roach, and Linkin Park. Paul has expanded me to a lot more from the 60's and 70's and folk artists that I would never have given a second thought to. Alan Parsons's Project, America, The Animals, The Byrds, The Everly Brothers, The Hollies, Jon Denver, Pink Floyd and The Turtles come to mind.
Paul will hear a song on the radio and make me listen to it, and I will get him back later by picking the most fun 80's songs I can like 99 Red Ballons' by Nena, Mickey' by Toni Basil or `Video Killed the Radio Star' by the Buggles, and anything by Belinda Carlise or The Go Go's. A lot of the stuff I sort of like, but don't really even listen to. Lately I'm somewhere between Hard Rock, Metal, and punk / nu metal, all of which fit well with Paul. Yeah, throw in Paul's country favourites and our merged Napster account has the most eclectic mix imaginable!
But the kicker is that Tim secretly loves all the songs I dig up. He hooked a wire from the computer to the stereo one day. He's gets Jackie to write down my playlists at the music store and he blasts them over the stereo any time Ma and Larry are both out. Tim loves all the cheesy 80's stuff, and I have turned him on in a big way to Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys and Depeche Mode, not to mention Savage Garden. Paul and I may be the happy gay couple, but Tim's musical preference comes straight from the gay clubs during the height of Pride week!
Oh, speaking of music, for Valentine's Day Paul gave me the sweetest gift ever. He dragged me into the music room at lunch that day and played `Tomorrow' by Europe, on piano. Fuck me if I wasn't breathless. I was tingling and shivering. It's a memory that my soul will forever wrap itself in like a soft and warm blanket.
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Tuesday Tim knocks on my door. I'm quietly having mind-blowing sex with Paul as Tim doesn't wait for an answer. He walks in to see me kneeling on the edge of my bed with Paul standing behind me. The look on Tim's face is priceless, I will never forget it! Trying for modesty, Paul pulls me tight to him and lifts me up, spins around, and sits down on the bed, still planted deep in me, then frantically tries to pull the bed sheet over us.
"Damn! Uh, hit a homer, Hunter," Tim stammers and shuts the door quickly behind him.
The next morning when Ma is gone to work and we meet in the kitchen for breakfast, we're all embarrassed. Tim broaches the subject, "Don't worry guys. That was hot, for two guys anyway. If it makes you feel any better I jacked off while you two finished up. By the way Jon, you really need to stifle yourself better when you come."
"Can we file that one under never speak of again," Paul asks.
Tim shrugs, "Whatever. I know you guys do it. It's my fault I saw it. I'm cool with it, so get over it."
"Timbo," I start.
"Look, seriously. We don't have to discuss this one Cheesedick. I saw what I saw, and a lot of it. It's sex between two guys. You've told me you catch, now I've seen it. And now I know what Hunter's fat, really long schlong looks like all shiny and wrapped in a condom as it goes into that winking hole of yours that I accidentally saw a couple months ago. Really, nothing more need be said. If you two weren't fucking I'd be worried. I was going to prank you guys, but froze at the sight. It was a stupid idea and I'll never try that one again. Let's just say it's all good, and move on."
"Done," Paul says.
"Kay," I agree, wondering if Tim got that line about being worried if we weren't having sex from Duncan when they instant message. It's something he said when he was here, and has teased me online since for being a prude.
When I get home from my 4-7 shift, it's the third night in a row of me trying to sneak Paul and Belinda in. We know he can use Larry's house. Maybe we should get him set up there, but whatever happened at home on Monday, Paul's not dealing with it as well as he'd like to think he is. I want him near so I can ease his burden.
A few minutes after we're settled in, Ma knocks on my door, "I'm going to come in if you boys are dressed."
We are busted, "Kay. Uh, how dressed do you mean?"
"Hopefully something more than naked. Any clothes will do," She ventures.
"Oh, yeah. Come in then," I immediately invite.
She takes us in for a moment, me topless and finishing my homework, and Paul reading an article from Tim's Sports Illustrated to Belinda in just his boxers and socks, "What is it with boys and not wearing clothes?"
Neither of us have an answer, so she just jumps right into it, "Well, you are almost adults now, legally that is."
"Yup," I answered, not knowing where this was going.
She continues, "Paul will be eighteen in a couple months, and you a few months after that. I see you have made an adult decision about your relationship."
"We haven't made any real decisions. We're planning school and a life together because we love each other," I defend.
"Don't get your back up Jonny. I can see that Paul is not just a temporary thing to you. You really do love each other," She says.
I get so defensive when talking to my mother about matters of my heart. I don't quite know why. I snap back, "Damn straight we do! I just said as much!"
"Down boy, down," Ma said in a raised voice, taking a page from Tim's vocabulary. She sighs and then in a more gentle tone continues, "What I am trying to say here Jon is that you two are going to permanently share a bed together as soon as you're off to college. I know that. And I know you're both happiest when you do get to sleep together. I also know that you two snuck Paul and Belinda in here on Monday. Then yesterday, you pretended to leave Paul, but Belinda was here the whole time and you snuck back after moving your car. So Jon, why don't you invite Paul to move in here now, and you two can take some strain off things."
So we do just that. With Ma's permission Paul and Belinda permanently move in. To celebrate, Paul and I have the most passionate sex yet as far as me topping him goes, while Ma is out back with Larry. Belinda can't see us through the blanket we've draped over the side of her crib, and she can't hear us over the mixed CD I have playing that once made Tim think I was depressed. Tim isn't home right now, so he's not going to walk in on us for the second time in as many days.
On our second go-round, at bedtime, Paul is so tender and intimate that his gentle and smooth rhythm lulls me to sleep. Exhausted by the week so far, he falls asleep too. I wake when his weight has me suffocating in a pillow. We reposition and just cuddle, him still inside me. He's out like a light, and I drift off again not too far behind him. When we wake in the morning we are separated, but it was an awesome way to fall asleep!
It sure will make things easier for us that we can meet up together each and every night in bed. We don't have to force our schedules to mesh anymore. If we don't get much time together during the day we still get to sleep in each other's arms at night. If Paul works a late shift, or I have to stay at the store later than I want, we can just fall into bed where the other is already contently waiting.
Thursday when Tim gets home I'm in his room with him, snooping through his saved straight porn clips on his laptop, as he's telling me about a movie called All's Quiet On The Western Front that he's watching in history class. I bore of vagina and tits and open his Napster folder instead. I scan his songs and decide to add one more.
When it's downloaded, as I blare `Go West' by the Pet Shop Boys on his laptop while he's still telling me about the movie, he stops midsentence and comments, "This has to be the gayest song I've ever heard!"
"Well I thought it fit. You're telling me about all those gay soldiers on the western front and it made me think of this song," I joke.
"The soldiers weren't gay."
I argue, "Probably not. Same difference. That's not the point. They were soldiers away from their wives, in foreign lands. They probably poked each other when they needed to get off. If prisoners do it, soldiers do it too."
Tim cracks a smile. He says, "No, you just wish everything was a gay prono. But that gives me an idea now that Paul's living here full time. The next time I might walk in on you and your man, I'll knock and ask if all is quiet on the western front. If you're not attached to each other, and decent, then tell me all's quiet'. If Hunter's firing his cannon in you, just say you're under siege'."
"What if I'm in him? We do switch things up you know," I protest.
Tim pretends to really ponder my remark, "Yes, versatile you call it? Well, if that's your thing, that's the benefit of being in love with a guy. Girls can't do you up the ass when you suddenly get the urge for that instead."
"Uh, yes they can! Ever heard of a strap-on-dildo? Some girls are up for it you know," I tease, "If you're ever so inclined. I can lend you my toy if you want to try it some time. Or you can try the real deal. Just saying, 'kay?"
Tim pauses a moment, floored. He shakes his head and completely avoids my emasculating offer, "No thanks. If you're making happy in your man, just say you're busy conquering' if I knock. No, instead of under siege' or `busy conquering', just say you're busy, or you need a minute if you're not at it, but like, not decent."
A little later, as we settle into bed Paul remembers, "Oh damn, I forgot with everything going on! Jackie has tickets to the Stars / Avalanche game Saturday in Dallas. He wanted me to invite Tim and you to go with us."
I am so happy about the offer of another hockey trip! Back at Christmas I indicated to Paul that I used to play roller hockey on the street with my neighbor Phil and a few other guys, and egged him on to play with me. That was right up until I realized there is no way now I can cram my feet into rollerblades that are two sizes too small. Instead we've watched a fair share of hockey on T.V. since going to the game with Duncan, Bailey, and Neville.
I rush into Tim's room to tell him. Past his self-imposed bedtime, he's on the phone with his secret girlfriend like usual. I pretend to disconnect the phone cord from the charging base of the phone in order to get his attention. Of course while I pretend to play with one end of the cord, the other end pops out of the wall jack.
"Nice! Real nice move there Cheesedick! Next time you two get horned up I'm giving you blue balls," He moans.
I plug the cord back in and apologize, "Sorry Timbo. I didn't really mean to. Tell Mystery Girl that I'm sorry."
He winks at me, "So what's the deal? Bored of Hunter already and needed to see my boner again instead?"
I look at his crotch, "Nah. Like sure, you are hard right now, 'kay, and it is one to be proud of. And yeah, if I was single, I'd probably ruin the friendship and go for it. But no, not bored of Paul in any way, shape, or form. So anyhow, while I'm cock-blocking you right now from phone-sex, I was just trying to get your attention."
"Nice to see you're at least partly clothed. That would have gotten my attention, 'specially if your soldier were at attention in those," Tim says referring to me in Paul's blue open-fly boxers.
I give it right back, "Fucking tease. You know you liked my junk all pressed up against your ass, grinding against it, practically begging me to violate you. You even let me feel you up! Dude, that night you were so gay."
Tim gets serious, "Don't know what you're talking about. There was this one night when I was really depressed and I reached out to a friend though. That friend did line up his boner to violate me, but thankfully a couple layers of cotton blocked him. If I recall, he promised to never use that night against me. I wonder where he is?"
I reach out to hug Tim, "Kay, you're right. God, you feel good though."
"And smell good too, just for the record. Now let me go. Three second rule is in full effect and you're time's up."
"Ah. Love ya anyway," I say before twisting his nipple and jumping back out of his reach.
Tim lets out a yelp of pain and a rare expletive.
"Kay, before I do anymore damage and get a black eye for the purple nurple and blue balls I gave you, I came to invite you to a road trip!"
"Road trip?"
"Yeah, Paul and Jackie have invited us to a Dallas Stars game against the Colarado Avalanche on Saturday. It's an afternoon game. Afterwards, we're gonna spend the night in Dallas and then drive back early the next day."
"Cool, slumber party! I call you. Paul and Jackie can sleep together. We can tape it and sell it on the internet!"
I ask, "Horny much?"
"Nunayerbidness."
As the phone rings I clarify, "Come again?"
"None of your business, I said," Tim says while answering the call-back phone call on like, a fraction of a ring.
I get brushed off while he apologizes to Mystery Girl. I should really take a look at our phone bill and figure out who he's talking to. I get dismissed as he goes right back to lovey-dovey talk on the phone.
As I leave his room I say just loud enough for him to hear, "Tell her Jon Farrows got to sleep with you first."
I'm back in bed for a few minutes, contemplating waking Paul back up when Tim quietly taps on the door.
He asks, "Is all quiet on the western front?"
"Yeah, ceasefire presently," I answer, unfortunately waking Paul anyways as Tim walks in clad only in his boxers.
"Scootch over Hunter. Damn, it's cold tonight," Tim says and slips under the blanket.
We're all silent for a bit until I ask, "Uh, what did you come in here for Tim?"
"To get a rain check on the gay orgie up in Dallas. Nice cologne by the way Hunter, Jean Paul Gauthier. Good call; Jonny Appleseed over there loves vanilla."
Paul just nods at Tim.
"No, I came over to tell you I can't go with y'all because of a tournament this weekend," Tim reaches across Paul and slaps my bare butt, Then lifts the sheet to confirm Paul is naked too, "Damn, neither of you jokers are wearing gitch. Homo's."
"When in Rome," He says, and then actually peels off his boxers and flips them over at my head, "Anyway, if we're going to Disney for Spring Break I can't miss this tournament. Thanks for the invite though. Maybe we can catch an Aeros game some time instead."
Tim them gets up and flexes his arms and abs in the light coming in from the hallway for us, and then flops his penis in his hand once before remembering Belinda and making a hasty escape. His hands cover his butt as he makes his way to the door, and then closes the door behind him, whispering again like Chef, "Chillun, behave."
He actually just gave me his underwear with his fresh spooge inside them, so I secretly put it to use when lubing myself up for Paul to make love to me. I end up adding my own seed to the wet spot in Tim's boxers a few minutes later as Paul and I go for a quickie. Paul catches on and adds his own to the mix.
The next morning I wash the boxers and toss the load into the dryer before school, and put them away in his dresser for him when I get home from school. A little after Tim gets home from practice and is in the shower, I find them in my room again, on Paul's and my pillows. This time they are clean.
I ask Tim about it after I give him enough time to dress, "Um I think you left your boxers on my pillow. Either that or the Abercrombie & Fitch Fairy left them there."
Tim's in a real playful mood, like when he used to pants me in his pool all the time. He hugs me tight, scoops me up in his arms, and slams me down on his bed. As he does so he comments, "Nope. That was me. Don't call the guys at A & F fairies. It's like when you called yourself a fag after that wild dream of yours and I corrected it to gay. They have feelings too, and, some could just be confused! They may not like the homoerotic ads they're in."
We haven't wrestled like this since we broke his coffee table and got him kicked out of his apartment.
While he mock-celebrates his glorious pin of me, I take out his knees and he falls backwards onto his bed. I put my arms up and signal surrender before we break something, "Dude! You gave me your boxers."
Tim doesn't accept my surrender and twists me into some sort of headlock, "Yeah, so? You swiped that Sam guy's boxers last summer in New York. It's your thing. You keep those boxers as a memento of me."
I protest, "First, he left those boxers on purpose in my suitcase. Second, I'm not going to wear your underwear!"
"Sure you are. I know you wear Sam's boxers all the time. And Hunter's too. You don't even own boxers and supposedly don't like them. Like I don't often see your man P in one pair at night when he's running to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take out his contacts, and then there's his little lovebird Jonny's sitting on my bed the next morning in the very same ones, because it makes you feel connected to him," Tim says.
Facing his crotch the way he has me, I notice he's a little chubbed up. I mention it as I reach a hand to his crotch, "Somebody's horny today! Which base are you at with Nina?"
Tim lets me go before I touch him, "Which base is it when you get to feel someone up, but the clothes stay on?"
I rub my ear where his vice-grip actually hurt, "Aww. Getting thrown out at second again?"
He's somber, "No. Safe at second. If I go for third, I have to end things with `Mystery Girl' on the phone. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet."
Tim and Mystery Girl', as I've dubbed her, remind me a lot of my Someone' that I kept from Tim. But I can't call him on it. Fair is fair. I don't want to force the issue. I've been there. He'll tell me about her when he's ready.
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PAUL
Jon managed to adjust the schedule at work so that Jackie and he could both get the time off to take the road trip to Dallas. It took a few favours, and he's going to have to work as soon as we get back tomorrow. I was going to ask Jackie's mom to babysit for the weekend but Charlene and Larry have already figured on sitting for me.
Wayne picks us up in his parent's mini-van. Last year we got to ride in style in my extended-cab truck. That trip caused an argument with my parents, and they made me trade it in and take a huge loss on it in order to get a family sedan that worked for their ego. I mean seriously, the baby seat works just as well in a truck as it does in a car, except my mom is a bitch and wouldn't let up. This year my parents don't even know I am going. My dad I am sure can figure it out, but my mom probably not. One less thing to get bitched out about. Not that it even matters, it's not as if I live there anymore.
So with Wayne driving this year we get to Dallas in record time. Saying he has a led foot is an understatement. Jackie and Wayne check us into the hotel room that his dad booked for us. As they do this, Jon and I hang third and fourth people in one room. While waiting outside we spot an all-important McDonald's and grab some burgers while waiting for Jackie to call Jon's phone and tell us what room.
When Jon and I get to the room it has a cool view of the city. I toss Jackie and Wayne their usual combos and Wayne breaks out a bottle of rum from his backpack. We add some rum to the sodas and devour the food. Wayne grabbed a couple quarts of Coke from the tuck-shop in the lobby while Jackie got the room, so we refill and proceed to add too much rum to all our drinks. Jon can't finish his first drink, so after I finish my second we trade cups. Both Jackie and Wayne see this and call him on it.
I've picked up on this already, the few times we've been near booze, that Jon really doesn't like to drink. He's admitted to me that he's rarely been drunk. I think it has a lot to do with his father's death. It's a control issue for him. I am about to defend him more vigorously when he pulls my hand to him and quickly kisses it. This draws boos from my buds, real from Wayne, fake from Jackie.
Jon threatens them, "If you guys keep that up, we'll keep the kissing up."
Jackie actually starts to jeer again, but Wayne stops him.
We're all quiet for a few minutes until Wayne breaks the silence, "Well boys, you sleep together and I can't change that, so I accept it. But you can also accept that you can change your behavior in front of us. Please don't kiss or do gay things in this room, or God forbid, at the game today."
I respond in kind, "Like Hell Wayne! Nah. If you and Michelle can suck face in front of Jackie and me whenever you want, than me and Jon can kiss in front of friends too."
"I'm with the majority on this one Wayne," Jackie shares, "Big whup if they kiss in private. They're not dumb enough to do it in public and draw unwanted attention to us. So in private I kinda have to side with them. Shit Wayne, if you get me drunk enough I might just kiss you, big guy!"
"Wilson, you'd kiss the ass of a boar if you were drunk enough," Wayne replies.
Jackie jokes, "Well, I wasn't saying you were quite that ugly. But now that you mention it, I see the resemblance. At least Farrows and Hunter find each other hot. Me and you? You heard it straight from the man himself, I get to sleep with a pig's ass tonight. Anyway Wayne, lighten up."
"Fine. Whatever. Sorry guys, it's not every day I see Paul kiss a dude. I mean you, Jon. I guess I really don't care, I'm just still trying to get used to it," Wayne says.
"Yeah, sure," Jon says.
I kiss him. First on the lips and it lasts a good few seconds and then I kiss him on the forehead.
Jackie comments this time, "See Wayne. No one got hurt by that."
I get a feeling inside I can't quite explain. Resignation maybe? The feeling goes along with the thought of knowing why Jackie is my best friend for life and Wayne is just a buddy now. Jackie gets me, and I'm still the same guy to him as I've ever been. Wayne on the other hand isn't quite the same anymore, and I can see it getting worse down the road. It's his problem if he can't fully accept me and I am not going to work at making him do so. Either he does or he doesn't. If he can't, then I know we'll fully drift apart.
Jackie smooths things over for us, "Wayne. Seriously. Look at them. Forget that they're both guys for a second. They get all gooey-eyed and smiley when they do cutesy shit like that. That's love. You don't have that with Michelle, I don't have that with Shannon. I'm jealous. Now drink up fuckers and let's go catch a game!"
I moan, "No way. You're not dragging us early to try and get more autographs are you?"
"Wayne adds, "Game time is like 3 hours away Jackie. Seriously, what are you going to do? Forget to speak again? Clam up like a 5 year old kid and have me ask Modano to sign your jersey for you again?"
"Hey! I should make him pay for that other jersey. Can't even make it look like his name. Some squiggle, I'm guessing two n's and then a dot or accent over something? The sharpie slipped? My ass! Anyhow this year I have my 3rd jersey. By the way Farrows, you're wearing my Boucher jersey unless you have your own to wear," Jackie says.
I think the rum is starting to affect Jackie. We manage to stall him for only half an hour before he's marching us to Reunion Arena. I'm wearing my Russ Courtnall Minnesota North Stars jersey. He was my favourite player when the Stars moved to Dallas, and it was a gift from all my brothers for my birthday. It used to be borderline too tight when I was overweight, and now it is again as I'm fit, but have grown. No matter; I'll persevere. Wayne has his Ed Belfour jersey on. Jon wears the blank jersey he bought here the last time we were here.
We have a blast at the game. Jon really does follow the sport. He knows odd facts about some of the players and always has a handle on the action on the ice, never asking a stupid question. I am proud of him. Dallas wins the game 3-2 with an overtime goal. Afterwards we go out to a TGI Fridays for dinner.
When sleep starts taking us back at the hotel, I wake Jon first and tell him to get undressed for bed. He gets up and strips, losing everything but a nicely stretched out pair of his old, ratty, white boxer-briefs.
Jackie watches Jon pass us on his way to the bathroom. Jackie starts undressing and smiles at me, "Not bad Paul. Damn, hope that thing doesn't hurt!"
"Nah," is the best I can manage.
Jackie pulls out his waistbands and looks down for comparison, "I thought he was all skin and bones under all his long sleeve shirts and baggy jeans. Nat says the baggy clothes are to cover up, I guess she's right! You know, if you can get him to wear normal clothes and drop that chain on his wallet, he might actually be hot. For a guy."
"Thanks," Jon chuckles as he finishes peeing with the door open.
Wayne drank most of the rum and is out to the world. Jackie wakes him as best as he can and helps him into bed, fully clothed. I strip down to my turquoise, purple and white Haynes boxers. Jackie leaves Wayne in between the sheet and the cover of their bed, and gets out of all his clothes and into form-hugging Kappa athletic pants to sleep in. He slips under both sheet and cover as I turn off the light at the doorway. I take out my contacts in the bathroom and leave the light on with the door closed over before lifting the covers and hopping into bed. Jackie gives me the quietest little cat call as I snuggle up and spoon Jon.
When I wake in the morning Jackie is watching Sunday morning cartoons. Like really early-morning cartoons, the ones that are on way before any good ones come in. I hop out of bed and pad barefoot to the bathroom, have a shower, put in my contacts, and emerge wrapped in a towel. Jackie pays no attention as I dress. I then wake Jon and he grabs a pair of our discarded underwear off the floor and slips them on before getting out from under the covers. He has morning wood, just like I did, and probably Jackie too. We're teenage guys nearing 18, it happens.
Once Jon is showered, we all crowd into the bathroom to shave and brush our teeth. Jackie sprays on his cologne. Instead of trying to smell the bottle, Jon puts his hands on Jackie's shoulder and gets close enough to smell it on his neck instead. I make a mental note that Jon clearly likes Jackie's Sexual.
We wait to wake Wayne until after we are fully ready to go. As soon as Wayne's groggily awake we clear out and head downstairs to the continental breakfast so that he can have the room to himself when he showers, dresses and gets ready. He joins us downstairs shortly afterwards.
Following breakfast Wayne's head is clearly hurting the most this morning so Jackie an I take turns driving back while Wayne sleeps all the way back to Houston. I stop at a McDonalds in the Houston outskirts to get a greasy burger into Wayne so that he can drive the rest of the way. I wonder if he intentionally drank himself comatose last night just so he wouldn't have to deal with Jon and I sleeping together, but I am not going to ask.
).:.(<<
JON
Paul's 18th birthday is March 15th. I really didn't know what to get him. We sort of went all out at Christmas with the watches and for Valentine's Day we got a picture of us and one with Belinda done up and framed. So for his birthday I got him Final Fantasy X for the Playstation 2, because I've heard that is the game of all games to get right now. The next day after school we try hooking his system up to the T.V. in the living room, but it's too old and doesn't have the right connections. Instead we pop the game into Tim's console in his room. We miss most of the opening story while starting to have having sex on Tim's bed. Paul tells me it would be kinky if I wear one of Tim's jocks while he rides me, knowing it is my thing. I somewhat eagerly, somewhat hesitantly find his one that is just a cup and strap in his gym bag with an unwashed uniform. We dash to our room and start to mess around.
When we're done we lounge around a little too long, until we hear the front door. We dress is seconds, me pulling up Tim's jock from my ankles before stepping into my cargos. Paul's dressed before me so he tries to smooth out Tim's bed as quick as possible while I throw on my top and join him back on Tim's bed. Noticing them on the floor in time, I stash my Calvin's in Tim's hamper.
Lacey finds us upstairs watching the Final Fantasy intro. She's visiting for dinner, the first time I've seen her since she ambushed me in the store. We go downstairs and talk. I introduce her to Paul and Belinda. She tries to be nice, but she's her usual stand-offish self to me. Tim gets home before I get a chance to replace his gear and change back into my Calvin's.
Sure enough, Tim goes straight up to his room, strips, and has a shower. By the time he's dressed and joins us downstairs, Ma and Larry are both home and I am barbequing chicken for dinner.
Tim comes out back and whispered in my ear, "Paul once complained that his brother used to bang hoes in his bead. Change my sheets before bed if you messed them."
I just look at him, knowing I'm caught. Neither of us have to say anything more but I feel compelled to set his mind at ease anyway, "Kay. Sorry. We didn't use your bed though, just so you know. We couldn't get his playstation set up so we used yours and just sat on your bed. We did it in our own bed. Well not really in bed either, but still, nothing happened on yours."
"Flip the chicken before it burns," He suggests.
)..:.(<<
March break is on us like a whirlwind. This year I am actually doing something rather than wasting away at home! High school break in Houston matches up with grade school in New Orleans, so Tim's parents booked a couple hotel rooms at the Boardwalk Hotel at Walt Disney World. When Tim told us, he also mentioned at his parents insistence that there are a lots of adjoining rooms still available. At first Ma flat out said no. Then Larry suggested he'd love to get back to Disney World. That's all it took for Ma to flip 180 degrees on the subject.
The van is all loaded up and ready to go before dawn as we wait for Larry's son from his second marriage to get dropped off. Maybe it's because I didn't really listen well, but before any talk about the trip, I never even knew that Rob existed. When Rob finally gets brought over by his mother he is about the shyest 12 year old kid I've ever encountered, me included. Although to the kid's credit, I wouldn't want to get ushered into a packed van full of people I don't know either, Disney or not. Paul and Tim flank each side of Belinda on the back bench and I get to sit beside Rob, seeing as how we may be step-brothers someday soon.
We all take turns driving, eating in the van along the way. It's a long haul and it's well past dusk when we finally arrive. Tim's family is already there. Rob seems to come to life when we meet up with the Matthews and he spots Sam and Will, who are close to his age. He does get the shaft however and has to take the second mattress in Ma and Larry's room.
I break out Trinity and start trying to play the little that Paul has taught me in hopes of quieting Belinda as Paul showers. Rob comes in through the door connecting our rooms and sits crossed legged on a bed while I try to remember the finger positions for `Time', by The Alan Parson's Project. This is Paul's all time favourite song, so I work on it the most. I still consider myself tone-deaf when it comes to actually singing, but Paul and Tim both assure me I'm not that bad. They don't say I'm good however, which as a Scorpio has me questioning their sincerity, but I am at least good enough to soothe Belinda to sleep. While trying to get Belinda settled, Tim barges in and drops his gym bag of clothes on the spare bed in our room.
"Looks like you guys have a roommate, at least tonight."
"Uh, `kay. Cool," I stammer, trying not to sound disappointed.
"Yeah, sorry to ruin it on ya, no private time for you two," Tim apologizes, stressing the word private while trying to talk above Rob's head.
I sarcastically quip, "Your parents not happy to see you?"
"Put the acid tongue away Jonny Appleseed. I didn't plan to ruin your fun. It's too late tonight to bother calling for an extra bed. I'll try to keep it to just tonight. FYI; it's Will and Sam. They're supposed to bunk with me but the little shits refuse to share a bed, so I'm taking your extra bed tonight. We'll get a roll-away tomorrow."
Paul and I offer Tim the extra bed in our room for the week. We have lots of time for sex in our lives, but only a few months left with Tim. It just makes sense to cherish our remaining time together before we leave for college and our separate paths in life. It's time I start letting go of Tim, time to stop the homoerotic things I do to him. He's endured me with grace. It's time to set him free and stop worrying about it. He's not going to abandon me.
From the hotel to the restaurants, and obviously the attractions, Disney is nothing shy of amazing. Even with Belinda, who at 14 months is trying her best to walk and talk, and is quite a handful. Paul and I manage her and only use the daycare a couple times. When we are away at school we aren't going to be spelled off like we are now, so much like Tim is figuring out things on his own like laundry and basic cooking, we are limiting ourselves to daycare during school hours at home.
).:.(<<
PAUL
March closes with the Bizarre Bazaar at school, a day early this year as April Fool's Day falls on Saturday. Seeing the crop of eighth-graders touring the school, it makes it a little more real that our four years of high school are coming to an end. On Saturday night we do turn Belinda over to Jon's sister Dee while Scott has a guy's night with some buddies. Tim and Nina car pool with us to our last Beach Bash at Virginia Point.
I'm going to miss living so close to the Gulf of Mexico. I know Vancouver is right on the Pacific Ocean, but the way Duncan reacted to this beach in the end of December, something tells me it's not the same. This beach has been an extended Hunter family destination for at least a couple generations, well before my oldest brothers started attending April Fool's Beach Bashes here.
The evening is bittersweet. Jon and I still aren't advertising that we're gay, or that we're a couple. We have an immediate group of friends that know about us. Jon's sister Lacey is here, but they only exchange pleasantries. My younger brother J is here and I catch up with him for a while. Stacey is also here, but unlike calling me a fag last year, she is civil to me.
When Jon and I cut out early to get home Tim and Nina hitch a ride with us.
Jon is a little flustered though, "Did you guys see Chris? He hardly talked to me. I'm glad he's head over heels for his new boyfriend, but I got major cold shoulder."
"That's the thing about ex's. Sometimes in a good breakup you promise to still be best friends, but it never happens. Sometimes after a rough breakup you find yourselves being friends again," Nina suggests.
Jon smiles back at her and Tim, "Good thing Tim never let me into his pants then. I have abandonment and rejection issues, as you may have just picked up on."
Tim reaches forward and claps a hand on Jon's shoulder, "I still say good thing for me too, on two counts! For the record Farrows, I'm still okay with having never had sex of any kind with you."
).:.(<<
JON
"I don't know. I saw you and Chris talking a few times. I don't think either of you gave the other a cold shoulder," Paul points out to me.
And he's right. I guess I still have some work to do on trusting friendships. Even better in the moment for me are a couple personal realizations. Paul feels comfortable calling me on my bullshit and pointing out to me when I'm wrong. He has a very gentle way of doing so while still being assertive. I kind of like it. A lot!
).:.(<<
Next up: the final chapter of WoT.
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Hope you enjoyed Summer Solstice yesterday, and Happy World Pride 2014 from Toronto!