In the Direction of Happiness

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to individuals, living or dead, is pure coincidence. Do no read this story if man-to-man romance or sex offends you. Do not read if you are underage according to laws in the country, state/province, county, city/town/village or township where you live.

Many readers have asked me about the inspiration behind the story. "How much of the story is autobiographical?" is a common question. Quite a number of you have thanked me for writing a story that is "filled with hope" while others have correctly noted that the story is, perhaps, overly idealistic.

I wrote the story at a time when I desperately needed to feel good: about the world, about changing circumstances in my life, about myself as a Gay man. Remembering how wonderful I felt as a child when somebody told me a happy or hopeful tale, I sat down and wrote myself a love story. I had not planned to post the story but after considerable encouragement from a dear friend, I decided to share it with you.

There are many autobiographic elements woven throughout the fictional narrative but that is of little consequence to the reader. I simply found it beneficial to release some emotion through writing and the story took shape. If during these trying times the story has brought a smile to your face or offered you a glimmer of hope, then together we have taken a step in the direction of happiness.

IN THE DIRECTION OF HAPPINESS - PART 9

Chapter 26 - At Last...

Without a word spoken, we walked into our bedroom. Slowly, knowing that every movement was an expression of love, we undressed each other.

After removing Mark's shirt I allowed my fingers the pleasure of roaming through the hair on his chest. His body was warm and fragrant. His clean masculine scent, that always makes me think of eucalyptus trees and rain, began to fill my senses. As my fingers hid beneath his thick dark hair my heart began to beat faster. I could feel the blood rushing to the center of my body and I knew that Mark, my life partner and love of my life, would soon fulfill my deepest longing. At last our time had arrived. Tonight our bodies would become one and our relationship consummated in the supreme act of love.

Lying together on our bed Mark pulled me into a warm embrace. Our chests were pressed against each other and I could feel his heart beating. Perhaps it was because of the vows we'd just exchanged but the intimacy of that moment was, for me, more sensual than anything I'd experienced.

"I want you inside of me," he said. "Will you make love to me sweetheart?"

"Oh yeah. I'm ready for you as well."

I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure how to start and I didn't want to hurt him.

Since Mark had been completely monogamous while married to Barbara, there was no need for us to use condoms.

"Let's go slowly. I don't want to hurt you and I want us to enjoy every moment."

I kissed Mark for a long time enjoying his soft lips and warm breath. As I began moving my face lower Mark put his arms behind his head and I buried my face in his armpits. His thick hair glistened as I thoroughly licked under each arm. His breathing intensified. The sight of Marks masculine, hair covered torso, had me totally aroused. Playfully I teased his erect nipples with my tongue as my hands gently caressed his inner thighs.

As my hand began to rub the sensitive skin under his scrotum Mark slowly began to spread his legs. His invitation was clear. Lowering my body further down the bed I was able to place my face between his exquisite legs and my tongue began searching for his tender opening.

I really enjoy rimming. I don't fully understand why this aspect of lovemaking is so special to me. Perhaps it's the shared vulnerability of the act. Maybe it's Mark's complete enjoyment of what I'm doing. All of my senses are highly stimulated as I pleasure Mark in this 'forbidden' fashion. I find Mark's masculine, slightly musky scent to be highly erotic. The smoothness of his tender skin excites me while the gentle moans coming from his lips further fuels my passion.

As Mark spread his legs I began licking the inside of his warm moist cleft. My tongue thoroughly moistened the hair surrounding his tender hole. Finally my tongue found what it was looking for and I softly licked his tender opening. Mark's increased moaning spurred me on to more intense licking and my tongue pressed gently inside.

"Stevie, fuck me, please. I need you inside of me."

Encouraged, I reached for the lube I'd long ago placed in the drawer of the bedstand. Applying a generous amount I inserted my middle finger. He quickly adjusted to the invasion and began enjoying the sensation of my gentle thrusting. I added a second finger and I felt his muscles tighten slightly.

"Are you okay Mark?"

"Oh yeah, this is so hot. Just go slowly."

I was in no hurry. I was hugely excited and I wanted Mark to enjoy this. Gently I moved both fingers back and forth. After a few moments I felt him relax and I began to suck his cock while continuing with my fingers.

"Tell me when you are ready for me to go further."

"Go for it sweetheart!"

My excitement was matched only by my apprehension. I worried that I might hurt Mark or that he might find the act to be less than enjoyable. After thoroughly applying lube to my cock as well as in and around his warm hole, I asked him to raise his legs. We both felt awkward and in our nervousness we started to laugh. I collapsed and lay across Mark's body while trying unsuccessfully to stop my laughing.

"We must look pretty silly," I said

"I feel like I'm about to receive a pelvic exam," he chuckled. "Where are the stirrups?"

"Hey, now there's an idea."

"In your dreams Steven. Just give me a kiss and fuck me." His smile spoke volumes.

Repositioning myself between his raised legs I tentatively put my hard cock against his rosebud. I pushed very slightly and met with resistance.

"Go ahead sweetheart, push a little harder."

I did and could feel the very end of my penis begin to slip inside. A slight grimace appeared on his face and I stopped the pressure but did not pull back.

"Are you okay babe?" "I'll stop if I'm hurting you."

"No, don't stop. Just give me a moment."

After a pause he told me to go ahead. I applied gentle pressure and felt the head of my cock slip past his sphincter muscle. Again his face contorted in an expression of pain and I nearly withdrew from him.

"It's okay. I want you baby. Go ahead."

I did. As I pushed further I was greeted with the most pleasurable sensation. Mark's ass felt so warm and tight, like it was tailored made just to fit my cock. Momentarily lost in my own pleasure, I forgot about Mark's reaction to our lovemaking. Opening my eyes and looking at his exquisite face I knew he was enjoying the new sensations.

"Wait just a moment," he said.

"Are you okay?'

"I'm fine. Just need to relax a minute."

We were pretty clumsy our first time but it didn't stop me from becoming overcome by the reality of what we were doing. Engaged in the most intimate of acts, with the man I'd loved for so many years, produced an incomparable sensation. I wanted Mark to enjoy those same feelings. I was suddenly consumed with the desire to bring my lover to unexpected heights of pleasure.

"Okay sweetheart, go ahead. This feels incredible. I didn't realize how big you are."

"Am I hurting you?"

"Not now. I can't describe what I'm feeling. Go ahead, you know what to do."

I pushed further and he began to moan. I was almost all the way in and the sensations were intense. I was surprised at how tight Mark was. It wasn't painful for me, but right on the edge. I didn't remember Kathy's pussy being so tight, but that was many years ago and I was terrified and insecure. Making love to Mark felt so right and although I wasn't sure about what I was doing, I was sure enjoying myself.

Mark's contented moaning gave me the courage I needed to become more passionate. I withdrew my cock just to the head then slowly plunged back in. We were beginning to develop a rhythm. The sensations were far beyond anything I expected and several times I had to slow down to prevent myself from shooting before I was ready.

I wanted this to last but was concerned that Mark might be getting sore. "How ya doin' babe?" I asked.

"Don't stop now. Fuck me man."

His words turned me on so much I began to increase my speed. Then Mark did something that sent shocks throughout my entire body. As I was pulling back after a particularly deep plunge, he squeezed his muscles and they gripped my cock like a vice. I surprised myself by yelling out loud. It felt so incredible.

"Oh my God Mark, what the hell did you do?"

"Just keep pumping sweetheart."

I wasn't sure if I'd hit his prostate or not. Remembering our encounter in his new truck and how I found his prostate with my finger, I tried to duplicate my actions, this time with my cock. It worked. As I angled my cock in an upward direction the ridge around the head of my cock brushed against his sensitive gland. His entire body shook. I continued to brush his magic button with each thrust and Mark was shuddering in ecstasy.

I wasn't far from eruption. Changing positions slightly, I helped Mark put his legs over my shoulders, allowing us kiss. He shoved his tongue deep into my mouth and I felt my balls begin to contract.

Mark must have felt my cock swell. "Give it to me sweetheart," he yelled as he squeezed my cock with his strong muscles.

I began shooting deep within Marks body. My body was shaking. For the very first time I made noise while having an orgasm. Mark had begun pumping his own cock and in the middle of my own yelling I heard, Aaaarrrrgggghhh.......... and I knew that he too had enjoyed our first coupling.

His hairy chest was completely covered in his own cum. I gently lapped it up and then nuzzled my face against his still heaving breast.

"Thank you Mark, that meant everything to me. I've never felt closer to you."

"That was incredible. Feeling you inside me was beyond description. Sweetheart, you did everything just perfectly. At one point I knew that we had become one. Certainly our bodies were joined but it was more than that. So much more."

"I felt as if our bodies were tailor made for each other. We are a perfect fit. You are so tight."

"And you are so big. I could feel you coming inside of me and it was wonderful. That was the best."

"I want you to fuck me too, but we may have to rest a little bit. I'm totally drained but I've never felt better in my life."

Exhausted, we collapsed together in each other's arms. We lay still for several minutes just enjoying the intimacy.

I held Mark in my arms and he drifted off to sleep. His breath lightly caressed my face as I gently brushed his hair with my hand. His handsome face was totally at peace and as I watched him sleep, I once again, for the millionth time, fell in love all over again.

Morning came quickly and the memory of our lovemaking greeted me sweetly. Mark's arm held me to his chest as we lie in a spooning position. The warmth of his chest against my back quickly brought me to full arousal. I wanted to feel his fullness inside of me. After a few minutes I could tell he was awakening.

"Good morning," he spoke softly. "I slept so well."

He pulled me even tighter as he draped his leg over mine. I could feel his cock beginning to swell as it pushed against my thigh.

"Last night was wonderful. I'll be your catcher anytime you want to pitch, he said."

"Thank you babe, but now it's your turn to pitch."

"Let me take a leak and brush my teeth first."

"Sure, I'll join you."

Returning to bed Mark took me into his arms while kissing me softly. After many tender minutes he reached between my legs and began to softly caress my inner thighs eventually moving to the inside of my warm cheeks. Expertly he ran his finger lightly across my rosebud while continuing to kiss me softly. I was getting lost in the pleasure of his lovemaking. My cock was hard and beginning to leak. I could feel my heart begin to race in anticipation of a pleasure so long delayed.

Mark took his mouth from my lips and gradually kissed his way down the length of my torso. Reaching my cock he licked the sensitive head while gathering the accumulated precum onto his tongue and swallowed. He continued moving lower. With his hands he gently spread my cheeks as his tongue found its intended target. My entire body reacted with pleasure as the moist warmth of Mark's tongue bathed the most sensitive part of my anatomy. For many long minutes he brought me to the edge, with the promise of still greater and unknown delights to come.

"I'm ready for you," I softly spoke. I was excited and apprehensive all at the same time. Mark sensed my conflicting emotions.

"Are you sure? I want you to enjoy this as much as I did."

"I'm sure honey, just take it slow and easy."

After applying lube, Mark, with great care, inserted his finger. I could feel my muscles clamp down in reaction to the intrusion. It felt good. Very good. With gentle yet persistent thrusts his finger moved back and forth. He then took my cock into his mouth and began sucking. The combination of his finger stimulating my already eager prostate together with his powerful sucking had me right at the precipice. I was ready to go over the edge.

"Mark, honey, slow down. I'm about come."

He kept his finger buried deep within me but took his mouth off of my cock. He looked into my eyes and grinned. "Are you enjoying this my love?"

"Oh yeah. But I want you inside of me."

"I will, I promise, but I want this to last. All day if you'd like."

"I don't think I could take it honey. You are so good at this babe."

Sensing that I had withdrawn from the edge he once again took me in his mouth. Slowly, yet deliberately, he swallowed my cock and his nose was pressed firmly into my bush. With my rigid penis deeply entrenched in his throat he did something new. He began to hum. The sensation was electric and I nearly lost it.

"Mark," I hollered. I'm gonna shoot."

Once again, barely in time, he removed his mouth and said, "I'll slow down honey, sorry. I just can't help myself. I want to send you to places you've never been to."

"You are. I just don't know how much more I can take."

"Okay baby. Are you ready for me?"

"Ready, willing and able..."

He positioned his body between my legs and helped me lift my ankles over his shoulders. He pressed his cock against my asshole and stopped. He looked into my eyes and smiled.

"I love you," he whispered.

He applied gentle pressure and I felt some discomfort. It wasn't bad. Again he pressed. This time I felt pain and I realized his head had fully entered my opening. He stopped all movement and studied my face. The whole time he smiled sweetly and I could tell he was being very gentle with me.

"Give me a moment Mark. It feels good but burns like hell."

"Relax sweetheart. Just let me know what you want me to do."

After a few moments the pain subsided and I felt an entirely new sensation. I was experiencing a fullness that seemed to flirt with both my physical body and my emotions. The realization that my lover was inside of me somehow filled both my body and psyche with contentment. Contentment was the best word to describe what I was feeling. Nothing I'd ever experienced could have prepared me for what was happening at that moment.

"Go ahead, have your way with me."

With my encouragement, he took over. He began thrusting back and forth. His movements were slow and deep. It felt as if his cock was penetrating far into my body and I loved the sensation. Just as we had done the night before, we quickly developed a rhythm. Mark was gentle with me yet confident in his movements. His continued with long, deep strokes for a considerable time.

Several times he would slow down or even stop. I felt that he was probably close to losing control and needed to regain his composure. After one particularly long rest he resumed his movement. This time the angle of penetration was slightly different and he hit my prostate. I thought I'd go through the roof. Each time he pulled back the head of his cock would brush against my gland and the pleasure it created was immense.

I started thrashing back and forth and felt my own climax approaching. Mark, knowing that I was close, laid his body against mine while he continued fucking me. His thrusts were now short and quick sending my prostate into chaos. The friction of Mark's body against my cock provided just enough stimulation to send me flying over the edge. With moans, yells and loud sighing I shot an enormous amount of semen between our bodies.

Within moments I could feel his cock begin to swell inside of me. His movements slowed down dramatically and with very short yet powerful thrusts he filled me with his seed. The emotional response that solicited from me was overwhelming and I knew tears were filling my eyes.

Wonderfully exhausted, Mark collapsed on top of me. We lay there for a long time before he slowly pulled his now soft penis from me. I felt empty. The fullness and security that I felt while he was inside of me was wonderful and I wanted him back inside.

"You're sure good at what you do."

Without saying a word he kissed me. Our tongues explored each other's mouths as we softly enjoyed the 'afterglow'.

Chapter 27 - A Spanish Proverb

Barbara, Carl, Patrick and Melissa arrived a week before our wedding. It felt like a homecoming. Our extended family had reunited and we were all jubilant. Barbara and Carl looked great. Both looked even more attractive than I remembered and they were so perfectly happy.

Patrick was a whirlwind of activity. He hadn't been with us more than an hour when he was outside feeding the ducks and taking extensive inventory of the nursery stock. As always he was never ending fountain of questions.

The biggest change was with Melissa. The shy, almost retiring young girl I remembered had transformed into a chatty and obviously contented teenager. The sad, hollow look in her eyes was gone. It was replaced with a sparkle that rivaled her mother's in intensity. She looked beautiful.

Although our home is not large, we were delighted that they wanted to stay with us. Barbara and Carl slept in the bedroom normally used by Dan and Gary. Melissa slept in our office and Patrick was happy to sleep on the couch.

After the kids went to bed Carl and Barbara joined us in the hot tub. I opened a bottle of excellent Merlot, a 'just because' gift from Matt, a wonderfully kind man who I recently met when he installed my air conditioning unit. Totally relaxed, the four of us enjoyed the wine and conversation until after midnight.

Barbara was beginning to look tired and told us that she was ready for bed. Carl said he was going to stay up longer. He explained that there was something he wanted to talk with us about. She treated us to a beautiful smile before kissing Carl goodnight and gracefully wrapped a towel around her lovely shoulders and walked into the house.

"So what's up handsome?" Mark asked.

Carl grinned and something inside of me stirred. Mark shot me a sideways glance and I could tell that he too was enjoying the sight of this magnificent looking man.

Carl thought for a while before answering. He appeared to be struggling with something.

"I just want to visit with you guys for a bit. My life has changed so much since Barb and I got back together. There hasn't been a single day that I haven't been unbelievably happy. Other than the few days Steven was in the hospital, I haven't had a single worry or care. The only thing missing in my life is your company. I'm not at all embarrassed to say that I love you both. I really miss you guys."

The few minutes quickly became two hours as we talked about everything form politics to sexuality. I was impressed with Carl's acceptance of our lifestyle and how much he wanted to share in our lives. Sometime after 2:00 a.m., tired and happy, we decided to go to bed. Before entering the house Carl gave each of us a heartfelt hug and a solid kiss on the lips.

Once settled in bed Mark seemed thoughtful. Finally he spoke. "What do think is up with Carl?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"He told Barbara that he wanted to discuss something with us. I thought he had something weighty on his mind. I enjoyed our conversation but he really didn't say anything that he couldn't have said in front of Barb."

"Yeah, it was a little odd. Maybe he wasn't ready for the evening to end and just wanted to visit with us."

"I guess so," Mark said with some hesitation. "I don't know? He's so comfortable with our lifestyle and his goodnight kiss was a bit passionate, don't you think?"

"Well yes, now that you mention it. I liked it though, didn't you?"

"Sure I did. I just don't understand it."

"Maybe he's a little curious. I think most men are at one time or another. Whatever the reason, I sure enjoy his company," I said with enthusiasm.

Mark pulled me into a strong embrace and softly whispered that he loved me. Feeling warm, inside and out, we let the subject drop and fell asleep.

I'm an early riser regardless of what time I go to sleep the night before. I was awake by 6:00 a.m. This morning the wonderful aroma of brewing coffee greeted me. Wearing only my robe I walked into the kitchen. I found Barbara sitting at the table, drinking coffee and looking lovely. When she saw me her eyes twinkled and she smiled.

"Good morning sexy. I thought you'd be sleeping in late," she cheerfully spoke.

"No, not me. As hard as I try I just can't make myself go back to sleep once I wake up."

I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down next to her. My robe was open around my neck and she playfully tugged at the hair on my chest.

"What a sexy chest. No wonder Mark loves you so much. How about a peek a little lower?"

I must have turned several shades of red. Barbara has a great sense of humor and is a real tease. Because of the ongoing stress and friction in the years following her marriage to Mark, it was only in recently that I learned how much fun she can be.

"I'm just kidding with you," she said while winking at me. "Did you enjoy talking with Carl last night?"

"Yes. I like him so much. Mark and I were glad he stayed up to talk with us. He really is a remarkable guy."

"He loves you guys. He talks about you all the time."

"Yeah, he's pretty open with his feelings." She heard the questioning tone in my voice and cocked her head to one side while offering a sly smile.

"Are you wondering why?"

"Well yes Barbara, we are a bit intrigued. He kisses us on the lips. Not that we mind, but it seems an odd thing for a straight man to do. He's also very accepting of our lifestyle. At Christmas he sent me a subscription to Playgirl magazine. What's up?"

"I was hoping Carl would have talked with you himself but I suspect that he hasn't. Let me tell you a little bit about him.

First and most important, he really does love both of you. Mark's leaving Spokane left a big hole in Carl's life. He misses Mark's friendship and yours too. You and Mark are the first men that Carl has ever loved. He never knew his father. His mother was a drug addict and an aunt raised him. She provided a roof over his head and three meals a day yet there was little love. He has no brothers or sisters. His aunt died when he was nineteen years old and he has been on his own ever since.

Growing up he felt like an outcast. Without the nurturing of a loving family and coupled with his shyness, he never learned how to make friends. Throughout his childhood and early adult years he desperately wanted a best friend. As you men like to say, 'a buddy'. It never happened and he grew up lonely and fiercely independent. I think that is why we were inseparable when we were dating. We totally leaned on each other.

Believe it or not, you and Mark are his first male friends. But it's deeper than that. He never did the normal things adolescent boys do together. Male relationships of any kind are totally foreign to him and now that he's comfortable with his life, he's beginning to realize that he missed out on so much. He's curious about your sexuality. He's definitely straight yet admits that he is attracted to you and Mark. Being with you guys is very gratifying to him."

"Wow." I was surprised. "How do you feel about this Barbara?"

"Oh I'm fine with it. I appreciate that he has been honest with me and I'm not at all threatened. After all, I spent years with a husband who was in love with another man," she said while smiling at me.

"I'm happy that you and Mark have accepted him as close friend. I'm also hopeful that you will help him come to an understanding about his sexuality."

"We love him very much. I knew the day we met that he and I would become good friends. How can Mark and I help him with his sexual feelings?"

"Just let him be himself and encourage him to ask questions. He's just starting to understand that male and female characteristics exist in all of us and that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to sexuality. Just be yourselves and do whatever you feel comfortable with."

"It might be a little awkward at first," I stated. "How do we broach the subject? 'Hey Carl we hear you might like guys'.

"Don't let it be awkward Steven. Just treat him the same way you did last night."

We ended our conversation as Patrick came roaring into the kitchen. Filled with energy and curiosity, he was ready to start his day.

As Barbara stood to leave she leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Thank you Steven. Just let Carl know that you love him," she whispered. Before turning away she quickly ran her hand across my chest. "Very nice, very nice," she muttered.

Later that day I told Mark of my conversation with Barbara. He wasn't as surprised as I was.

"I had a feeling that Carl was looking for answers to some deep questions," Mark said.

The day of our ceremony finally arrived. Both Mark and I were excited to proclaim our love in front of our friends and family. Neither one of us regretted our decision to enjoy intercourse prior to the ceremony. That was an intimate celebration of our love and we knew the time was right. Today would be a day of celebration with our friends.

The weather was sunny but quite cool. Two days earlier a cold front moving south out the Gulf of Alaska brought cold rain and a rare dusting of snow to the nursery. Although snow is not uncommon at the higher elevations of the Santa Susanna and San Gabriel mountain ranges, the nursery is only 1,359 feet above sea level so the infrequent flurries are usually met with much discussion among the adults and unrestrained merriment with the children. Patrick was beside himself with excitement. He got on the Internet and within minutes knew the date the last measurable snow fell in the San Fernando Valley area.

A seasonal creek runs through the fruit tree section of the nursery. Runoff from rainfall and melting snow flows down the canyons that crease the face of Oat Mountain just south and west of our property. During heavy El Nino winters the creek becomes a torrent of rushing water from late November through April. Although not flowing at full capacity the creek was lively, creating the perfect ambiance for a wedding between two men that take great delight in all aspects of nature.

Gary and Dan had built a lovely arbor on the north side of the creek where the ceremony would take place. Our guests would sit facing the arbor with snow-covered Oat Mountain as a backdrop. Jim and Al very tastefully decorated the nursery and adorned the arbor and surrounding benches with dozens of pots containing spring flowering bulbs. Tulips, Daffodils, Narcissus, Hyacinths and Crocus brought a riot of color and fragrance to the crisp winter setting.

Sarah and Miguel provided the catering. The abundance and variety of food they prepared was impressive. Traditional Mexican dishes, sushi, barbecue, and vegetarian; there was something to suit everybody.

We rented a huge tent that covered at least a quarter of the parking lot. Inside the tent we set up propane fueled heaters, a small stage for the band, and numerous tables and chairs. Jim and Al had decorated each of the tables with beautiful and unusual centerpieces. Large glass vases filled with water and colorful tropical fish. Floating on top were blooming water lilies and hyacinths.

Mark, much to my dismay, loves to dance. Through Al, who is an accomplished and well-known musician, we found a band that played various musical styles. I knew that most of our guests shared Mark's enthusiasm for dancing so I reluctantly agreed. For days I worried about having to dance in front of everybody. Jim, who also likes to dance, understood my nervousness and offered some private tutoring. I took him up on the offer.

As it turned out Jim is a good dancer and I really enjoyed dancing with him. I never told Mark just how much. As I mentioned earlier, Jim looks very much like Mark. With their striking masculine appearance they could easily pass for brothers. Where Mark is clean-shaven, Jim has a sexy dark mustache. While teaching me how to slow dance I had to fight the urge to kiss his handsome face. The mustache on the already familiar face was greatly appealing to me. Jim's patient teaching paid off and by the day of the wedding I was feeling a little more comfortable.

We closed the nursery for the day and encouraged our guests to feel free to wander through the grounds. Both Mark and I wanted the gathering to be an intimate celebration among friends and family. Our invitations stated clearly that we didn't want gifts. The love and support of friends and family were all we were looking for. We also encouraged everybody to dress comfortably and come prepared to have a good time. By 11:00 a.m. everybody had arrived and the mood was festive.

At 11:30 Gary invited all of our guests to have a seat. He was dressed in tan slacks and light blue pull over sweater. He looked so handsome. I had no idea how he intended to lead the service. Several weeks earlier he asked us a few questions and took some notes. But other than indicating that he would incorporate our wishes into the service, we had no idea what to expect.

After everybody was seated Mark and I walked hand in hand to the arbor where Gary was standing. The service that followed was simple and exactly what we had hoped for.

Looking past us, into the group of assembled guests, Gary began to speak.

"On behalf of Mark and Steven I want to thank each of you for joining us today. By your attendance you've given a priceless gift that they will remember and cherish for the rest of their lives. Silver quickly tarnishes and crystal will one-day break, but the gift of friendship is an expression of love that springs from grace and selflessness. Dear friends, that is a gift that cannot be broken or marred.

Each of you is here because you desire to share in the lives of two men that you call friends. As Mark and Steven declare their love for each other I invite you to share in the promises they are about to make. As friends and family I ask each of you to become active participants in their commitment to one another. That you remain quick to laugh with them in times of joy and equally willingly to cry with them when they shed tears. That you exhort and encourage them and always remain steadfast in love and unwavering in support.

You were not invited to join in today's celebration randomly. Each of you was chosen because, in some way, you are important to Steven and Mark. I can say with confidence that the two men standing here love each of you. In that spirit of love I invite you to rejoice with your two friends as they take vows pledging their love and commitment to each other."

Gary now directed his attention to Mark and I. With deep, penetrating eyes, he looked directly at me.

"Steven, I've known you for many years and in that time I've come to love you. Over the last two weeks I've spoken with every one of your guests and each person has told me much the same. They love you.

A few months ago, my life partner, Dan Neilson, confessed to me that he too loved you. He was very nervous when he told me of his feelings and I think he expected me to be angry or hurt. Surprisingly enough I understood exactly what he was saying. I began to wonder; what is it about you that not only draws people into friendship, but also inspires love?

I think I'm finally beginning to understand. You are comfortable enough with yourself that you never try to appear to be somebody you are not. You never put on airs and you allow others to be comfortable with themselves. What a rare and wonderful gift you possess. It's taken me many years to understand this about you and now, on this day of great joy, I want to share some of my fond memories with your friends.

I'm going to tell a few stories about you Steven. I hope you will forgive me."

Evidently a smile must have come to Mark's face because Gary turned his eyes on him and said, "don't smile too soon Mark, you're next."

Gary continued.

I met Steven 11 years ago when he was visiting the Lutheran church only several blocks from here. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I was a visiting the congregation as part of the Lutheran Lay Renewal Program and as a result I was seated in the chancel area facing the congregation. Only moments before the service was ready to begin I noticed a tall, good looking young man walk in and take a seat near the back. For some reason he completely captured my attention. He was totally at ease with the liturgy and seemed to be focused on the meaning behind the words being spoken. It's hard to explain, but somehow I knew that he was not merely reciting the words of an ancient worship service, but rather, was rejoicing in the wonder of the One who inspired the words. I kept my eye on him during the entire service. I wanted to meet him.

There was a potluck lunch following the service and I hoped to introduce myself to him. I became frustrated because every time I tried to catch his attention he was cornered by one of the many young and attractive women in the congregation. He didn't seem to mind. About that time the pastor of the church approached me and asked me to join him at his table. I'm sure the good Reverend must have found me to be very rude. The entire time he was talking to me I was watching this young man who, for some reason, had me completely fascinated.

After the meal I saw my chance to talk with him. The young woman that he was seated with was apparently blessed with two gifts. The first was the gift of gab. I watched as she spoke nonstop for minutes on end while Steven tried desperately, without success, to appear interested. He was far more interested in her second gift - very attractive breasts. Try as he may, the young visitor could not help himself. His eyes were riveted to her cleavage."

"Steven!" Mark exclaimed.

"I approached and introduced myself with the ruse of having important business to discuss with our visitor. I learned that the young man who had immediately caught my attention and interest was Steven Houston and we took the first steps in a journey that would become a wonderful friendship. Within moments I got my first inkling that this man is special.

As the weeks passed, our friendship grew and Steven allowed me to enter into his private world where he bravely wrestled with the demons that had deceived him for most of his young life. He honestly acknowledged his feelings of bisexuality yet was unable to accept them. It would be many years before he would understand that his sexual orientation was as much a part of his personality as his generosity or loyalty.

Steven, like so many other young men and women, was the product of a society that places great value on conformity to manmade rules and ancient mores established by religions that have lost touch with the people they hope to inspire. Steven believed that it was sinful to be in love with another man. He hooked into the falsehood that sexual relations between two men or two women is immoral.

One evening, a few months after we met, I received a phone call from Steven. I knew immediately that he was very troubled. He wanted to talk. We got together and he opened his heart to me. It was, and always will be, one of the most precious moments of my life. That night, Steven told me that he was in love.

As he spoke I sensed that something truly wonderful was happening. Deep within my own heart I knew that a remarkable love story was beginning to unfold. With his characteristic honesty he told me that he was deeply in love with a person he'd loved since college. Someone that captured his heart by day and whom he dreamt about every night. Someone that he longed to spend the rest of his life with and the only person he ever wanted to make love to. Not knowing that I am Gay, and with tears running down his cheeks, he told me that the person he loved was a man. That man is Mark Williams.

I was honored that Steven chose to share with me. I also knew that his relationship with Mark was right. But hidden in some dark closet of my soul, jealousy lurked. Before I'd even met Mark I didn't want to like him. In the few months that I'd known Steven I had come to value our friendship more than anything else. And although I knew that Steven was in love with Mark, all I could see was competition for his friendship, his time and his love. I tried to convince myself that Steven's love for Mark was nothing more than temporary infatuation and would quickly pass. You see, I wanted to be the number one man in Steven's life and I succumbed to pride and vanity."

Gary turned his gaze upon Mark. His steady eyes studied Mark's face before he continued.

"But that all changed the day I met Mark. Let me tell you about a barbecue that forever altered how I look at myself.

It was shortly after Mark married Barbara. Steven was putting on a brave face but inside he was a mess. Being practical by nature he did the practical thing. He buried himself in his work. He also went out drinking every night with his employee and friend, Dan Neilson. As a result of his hard work this once small nursery began to flourish and Steven Houston found plenty of diversions so that he wouldn't have to deal with his broken heart. I remember him telling me that as long as he was busy he was okay. It was nighttime that he dreaded. The more I saw my dear friend hurting the angrier I became at Mark Williams, a young man that I hadn't even met."

As Gary spoke I noticed Mark drop his head and stare at the ground. I could tell that Gary's words were cutting deeply into his sensitive heart. I squeezed his hand tightly. Gary noticed Mark's pain.

"Mark, my dear friend. Don't be sad. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. And you did it with a totally unselfish heart. It was me who acted selfishly, not you."

As he spoke those tender words he gently reached out and placed his hand on Mark's cheek. Mark looked up and their eyes met. The exchange was brief but never to be forgotten. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

One afternoon Steven and I had a minor argument about his love for Mark. I remember telling him that it was time for him to move on with his life and find somebody who would love him and commit to him. I added that if he couldn't do that then he should at least find somebody to have sex with. After all, I reasoned, he was a young man with needs that should be satisfied.

That was a mistake. Steven abruptly snapped at me and told me that it wasn't about sex and if I couldn't understand that then I should just let the subject drop. Of course my feelings were hurt. Steven had never raised his voice to me let alone invite me to mind my own business. We were on the telephone so we quickly ended the now awkward conversation. Later that evening my phone rang and it was Steven calling to apologize. We both felt badly about what happened but quickly put it behind us.

'I want you to meet Mark', he said. 'I just know that if you meet him you'll understand why I'm in love. Please Gary, will you come to a barbecue I'm going to have and give Mark a chance? Gary, you mean the world to me and I want you and Mark to be friends. Please'?

I agreed and two days later I found myself sitting on Steven's front porch talking with Dan while waiting for Mark and Barbara to arrive. With each passing minute my impatience grew while secretly hoping they wouldn't show. Thirty minutes late a car enters the driveway and I could feel Steven's excitement and apprehension.

'Well...here they are', he said with a shaky voice.

I noticed only one occupant in the car. In my desire to vilify Mark I inwardly smiled at what I believed to be inconsiderate behavior. Surly they could have called to tell Steven that only Mark would be coming and that he would be late. I was later to learn that Barbara was having a difficult time with her pregnancy and wasn't feeling well. So as not to dampen the evening, she unselfishly decided at the last minute to stay home.

Steven walked down to meet Mark while Dan and I stood up. As I watched with a reproachful eye, I saw a tall man exit the car and pull Steven into an embrace. I could feel myself tense.

'Gary, give Mark a chance. He really is a nice guy. I like him very much'. Dan spoke rather sternly to me.

As they approached the porch my heart temporarily stopped. Walking hand in hand with Steven was the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life. I was speechless. As each of you knows, handsome doesn't even begin to describe the beauty of this man.

Mark handed Steven a beautiful bouquet of roses. In his left hand he was carrying a brown shopping bag. Reaching the porch Dan greeted Mark with an enthusiastic hug. They spoke for a few moments then Mark turned to greet me.

Steven made the introduction. Mark extended his hand and warmly grasped mine.

'Hi Gary, I'm so glad to meet you. Steven has said so much about you I feel as if we've been friends for years.

Sometimes revelation occurs with grandeur and brilliance. Sometimes it occurs with the subtlety of insight. On that evening it occurred quietly, unnoticed by all, except by the one whose heart had become haughty. In an instant I knew, beyond doubt, that Mark was indeed the man chosen to stand at Steven's side. I also knew that I was guilty of the very thing that aggravates me with religious people. I made assumptions and tailored the truth to fit my own selfish desires. In the presence of a man who stood tall not only in stature, but also in humility, I suddenly felt small and petty.

To make matters worse, he brought me a gift. Opening the shopping bag he was carrying, he pulled out a musical CD for Dan and handed me a bottle of Glen Fiddich Single Malt Scotch.

'Mark, how did you know this is my favorite Scotch'?

'Steven told me. He's told me all about you Gary.'

I realized that Steven had told me all about Mark too, but because my ego got in the way, I couldn't remember any of it. I felt so ashamed as Mark put his arm over my shoulders and asked me to take a walk with him. There is no need for me to go into detail about what we talked about as we strolled through the nursery. Let it suffice that my friendship with Mark was deeply forged that humbling evening eleven years ago.

I was soon to learn that the handsome man who stands at Steven's side, is the most accepting, pure and nonjudgmental person I've ever met. In the time I've known Mark I've never heard a harsh or judgmental word come out of his mouth. Always the first to see the best in people and the last to give up hope.

The love story that we celebrate today began 15 years ago. A love conceived on a college campus and born two years later on a wind swept ridge overlooking the California desert. In the years that followed, their love grew deeper, even as their relationship took many strange and often lonely paths. There would be long periods of loneliness, frequent soul searching and the occasional moments of doubt. Yet their love continued to grow until it became so large it could no longer be ignored or delayed. And that is why we are here today.

I was thrilled when Mark and Steven asked me to lead their wedding celebration. Thrilled until I realized that I had no idea of what spiritual emphasis to place in the ceremony. I knew that the message needed to reflect their beliefs and hopefully be filled with joy and inspiration for the rest of us. Mark and Steven are my very best friends and of course my biggest desire is to please them. But how...?

It's difficult to try and understand Steven's spiritual beliefs. Being raised within the framework of the traditional church he carries with him the ideals of the Christian gospel. He also has a formal education and has embraced the disciplines of modern science, often putting him at odds with the teachings of the church. He's adamant in his insistence that any belief system that is worth it's salt must be accepting of everybody, regardless of their theology, sexual orientation, political views or ethnic background. Add to that equation a stubborn insistence that no one spiritual path is right for everybody and you'll get an idea of the complexity of my dear friend's beliefs.

Mark, who has only recently embraced any type of spirituality, is much easier to understand. For him, the formula for a happy life and meaningful spirituality is summed up in the Golden Rule.

Three weeks ago I asked the guys to give me some idea of what spiritual message they would like me to emphasize in today's celebration. Steven said that he'd leave that up to me. Mark quoted an old Spanish Proverb that I'd not heard before but found meaningful in its truth and simplicity.

The proverb is simple: 'in life there is no happiness, only moments of happiness'.

I asked Mark what the proverb means to him. He thought for a moment then said -

'If I have any mission or goal in my life, it is to create as many moments of happiness as possible. In so doing I will ensure that my life and the lives of those I love will be filled with as much goodness and joy as possible. The rest is up to God.'

That was it. That simple proverb, and Mark's understanding of it, says all that needs to be said. Steven and Mark's faith in their relationship and love for each other have moved them from one moment of happiness to the next. Even when all the odds seemed to be against the fulfillment of their relationship they focused on making each other happy. And along the way they have shared that happiness with me and with each of you. Isn't that the very essence of love and spirituality?"

Once again Gary turned his eyes on Mark and myself. He studied our faces for what seemed a long time. I watched his penetrating eyes soften and the slightest hint of a smile turned the corners of his mouth.

"Steven. Mark. The long road that you've walked has rounded another corner. Now, at last, you find yourselves in the place that God has been leading you to all along. The people that love you are now gathered together. Friends and family willingly stand at your side and as one voice say YES to your love and to your union. You no longer walk the road alone.

The journey down life's highway will, from this day forward, be walked hand in hand. And, although you have eyes only for each other, don't lose sight of the fact that you walk in the company of angels. I'm not talking about celestial creatures. No, I speak of your family and your friends who have joined you today to pledge their love and support. Isn't that what this service is about anyway? In your hearts you've been married since the day you met. Today you invite, into that union, the people chosen to walk with you. Draw on their support and their love, always.

In celebration of your union I've asked Dan, Barbara and Carl to join us. Their participation in the promises you make will symbolize the strength and solidarity you enjoy with those people that love you."

Dan came forward and stood next to Gary. Barbara walked up next and took Mark's hand while Carl grasped mine. I had no idea that our ceremony would move in this direction and the gesture touched my heart. Looking at Mark, I could tell by the softness in his eyes that he felt the same.

Gary offered a prayer. I know this sounds odd, but as he prayed, something transcendental occurred. I thought I could feel something powerful, gently moving around us. Reality seemed to shift. It was the same presence I felt the night Mark came home from Spokane. Later, after we returned from our honeymoon, many of the guests told me they felt the same thing. I can't explain it nor do I want to. It just was.

Beyond Gary's words I could hear the voice of the creek. I heard, as it were, a deep symphony of sound as the creek too joined in our celebration. I could hear water rushing across the face of large rocks and its deep resonance reminded me of cellos. Piccolos and flutes harmonized as the water swirled in eddies created by the many smaller stones encountered in its ongoing search for lower ground. Even the pebbles added their voices as they tumbled against one another along the creek bed.

Using the Lutheran Book of Worship as his guide, Gary led us in our vows.

"The Lord in his goodness created each of us, and by the gift of love founded the human community in joy that begins now, and will reach perfection in the life to come.

Because the gladness of marriage can easily be overcast by the cares and worries of this world, God himself will bless you with his abundant and ever-present support and you will be sustained in your weariness and have joy restored.

Through the gifts of faith, prayer, and friendship you have been given powerful tools that, when used properly, will help sustain joy in times of trouble, peace amid strife, and light that will shine through darkness.

Dan, Barbara, and Carl: Speaking on behalf of all those who love Mark and Steven, is it your intention to support, comfort and uphold your friends in times of joy and trouble; to remain constant in your friendship and steadfast in your love? If so, please answer yes, by the grace of God."

'Yes, by the grace of God'.

"Steven and Mark: if it is your intention to share with each other your joys and sorrows and all that the years will bring, then with your promises forever bind yourselves together as partners."

I spoke first.

"I take you Mark Williams to be my partner from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

Mark spoke next.

"I take you Steven Houston to be my partner from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."

"Mark and Steven, by their promises before God and in the presence of their friends and family, have bound themselves to one another as partners in life.

Blessed be God, the author of all life, and who in his wisdom has seen fit to bring together Mark and Steven in the bonds of true love. Those whom God has joined together, let no one put asunder.

May the Lord God, establish and sustain you, that you may find delight in each other and grow in love until your life's end. In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen."

As if on cue, Al began softly playing on the mountain dulcimer, a stringed instrument that is still played in the deep hollows of the Southern Appalachian Mountains. The sound was sweet and deeply stirring. At first the melody was ethereal and, to my ears, unfamiliar. As he continued to play, one by one, our guests added their voices to the sound of the strings. It was the most beautiful and unusual sound I'd ever heard. Deep voices rumbled beneath the sound of the strings while those of higher pitch danced above. It was a tapestry of sound, woven precisely together by an unseen director. I don't remember hearing any words, only sound.

A breeze blew off of Oat Mountain and gently carried the sound away until the music remained only in my head, forever captured, and often remembered in the years that would follow.

At the close of the service Gary invited the guests to enjoy the meal prepared. Throughout the morning hours Eduardo, Lupe and two of their friends had been heating and setting out the food they had prepared. Two eight-foot tables were laden with food while several coffee tables offered a wide variety of beverages.

By 1:00 p.m. the band was in place and Mark and I found ourselves alone on the dance floor. We held each other closely as the others looked on, happy for our good fortune yet anxious for the formality of the first dance to be finished so they too could enter into the fun. Mark and I danced several times together. Thanks to Jim and his patient teaching I actually enjoyed myself.

In the end a great time was had by all. Gary and Dan were the last to leave at around 6:30. Jim and Al told us that they would arrive early in the morning to clean up the parking lot and return the tent to the rental company. Dan and Karen would have the nursery open by 9:00 and business would return to normal.

Mark and I were tired yet full of all the joy one would expect on a day such as this. It was still hard to believe that we were married. Our lives were forever changed. We felt complete, as if our existence as individuals had become whole, no longer a shadowy suggestion of what could be.

Chapter 28 - In the Direction of Happiness

By the time we left home the winter sun had already set and the air was brisk. There would be frost tonight, I thought, as we headed north on Interstate 5. Dan had moved all the tender annuals into the greenhouse earlier in the week, before the snowfall, so I knew they would be safe. I reached over and took Mark's hand into mine. He glanced at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road. In that moment I could see in his brown eyes a reflection of the love I was feeling for him. My heart swelled but I said nothing.

We drove, mostly in a contented silence, until we reached Ojai, a small community in the foothills above the coast near Ventura. We had reservations at an expensive yet little known restaurant in the picturesque village. Ojai and the surrounding area always makes me think of early California, with her many ranchos and haciendas scattered over vast parcels of oak and chaparral covered land.

Artists, musicians, hippies, environmentalists and others who value living in a place of solitude and beauty dwell here and in the surrounding hills. In recent years they, and residents in similar California communities, have managed to thwart the efforts of large corporations and fast food restaurants from easily establishing a foothold within their towns.

A few years ago McDonalds decided to build in the area. A loud and very public fight ensued yet in the end, an amiable resolution was reached. The food chain managed to obtain the right to build their establishment but not without making architectural concessions to the locals. The 'Golden Arches' were forced to conform to existing architectural guidelines thus maintaining zoning regulations designed to keep an attractive yet business friendly environment.

Beatrice Wood, the brilliant and controversial artist lived in Ojai until her death at the age of 105 last year. Her ceramic pieces are extraordinary. Known for her unique and lustrous glazes her best work is currently on display in some of the finest museums around the world including the Smithsonian Metropolitan Museum in New York. Ms Wood was as eccentric as she was talented. A ceramist whose connection with the early 20th century art scene earned her the affectionate nickname, 'The Mama of Dada'. She was also rumored to have had affairs with many well- known men. Her artwork, both ceramic and painting, revels in sensuality.

Mark had never been to Ojai and I was anxious for him to see the community. A childhood haunt of mine, I have many fond memories of hiking throughout the hills and catching water snakes along Sespe Creek. Much to my mother's horror I'd bring the snakes home and release them in the small pond I had dug in our backyard.

Our honeymoon would eventually take us northward along the Central California coast. We agreed that we would do whatever we wanted to do without worrying about time constraints or money. If we wanted to purchase something, we would not allow our normally thrifty personalities to stop us. That is precisely why we decided to make reservations at the restaurant we were about to enter. For years I'd read about it in magazines and even saw it featured on a television program.

The restaurant is small and will only accommodate a small number of patrons so reservations are difficult to obtain. We were fortunate. When I called, shortly after we picked the date for our wedding, they had just received a cancellation. Normally our names would have been added to a waiting list but when I told the manager the nature of the occasion she reserved the table for us. I was concerned that when I showed up with my 'bride' she would think I had been lying. I told her outright that we were both men. She had no problem with it.

Dinner is served family style so all guests are seated at the same time. The dining room is quaint with a tasteful country ambiance. The atmosphere is very relaxed and over cocktails many of the guests began speaking with one another.

Mark whispered in my ear. "What should we say if we're asked personal questions about our relationship?"

"Let's just tell them the truth. What's the worst that can happen?"

We didn't have long to wait before finding out. The couple sitting directly across the table was quite chatty and soon turned their attention toward us. Only a few years younger than us they too were on their honeymoon.

"Hi there, I'm Billy and I'd like you to meet my lovely bride Marianne."

Billy had a distinct southern accent and seemed genuinely good-natured. Both Mark and I stood up, extended our hands in greeting, and introduced ourselves.

"Where y'all from? Marianne asked with a charming drawl.

"Near Los Angeles," Mark answered.

"We just got married last week and we're sure enjoying your state," Billy said with enthusiasm. We've been to the San Diego Zoo and to Sea World. Boy o boy, what a thrill that was. Los Angeles was a little too big for my tastes but sure did have fun at Disneyland. We're headed north to San Francisco then on to the Redwoods."

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"Oklahoma City, born and raised, the both of us," Billy said with obvious pride. What brings you fellars here tonight?" he asked.

Well here it comes I said to myself. This good ol' southern boy ain't gonna take too kindly to a couple of California fags joining he and the little woman for dinner. I looked at Mark and smiled before answering.

"Well Billy, I guess we have something in common. You see, Mark and I are life partners and we just said our vows today. Had a real nice celebration with our family and friends."

There was silence for a short moment but soon I noticed Marianne smiling.

"You see Billy, I told you so."

By the satisfied look on her pretty face we knew they'd probably been discussing our relationship before introducing themselves. Obviously Marianne had been right about something.

Turning her attention to us she said, "I told Billy you two boys are a couple. You look so darn cute together. Billy thought you were business partners or something like that."

"Well," Mark spoke up. "You're both right. In addition to being married, we own a business together." Mark flashed them his best and most handsome smile and their faces lit up. It's hard to resist Mark when he smiles at you.

"This calls for a toast," Billy boomed. "What are you guys drinking?"

"I think I'll just have a glass of Merlot."

"Me too," Mark said.

"Okay boys, this one's on me." He called the waiter to our table.

"Let's have the best bottle of Merlot you've got and four glasses. We're celebrating tonight. My wife and I were married last weekend and our two friends here were married today," he announced to the dignified yet obviously amused young waiter.

"Billy," I said. "Thank you, but let us help with that. That wine is surely going to be expensive."

"Hey, don't you worry about a thing, we got it covered buddy."

I realized that once again I was guilty of misjudging people. Living for so many years, fearful of my own identity, I'd become judgmental and defensive about my sexuality. On occasion my fears were proven correct but usually just the opposite would happen. Billy and Marianne were delightful and although I doubt they understand our relationship, they were not at all offended by it.

The food was incredible. There were three choices for the main entree. Filet minion wrapped in bacon, pheasant on a bed of wild mushrooms, and salmon with mornay sauce. Mark chose the filet and I the salmon. We were both very pleased with our selections although we shared our food. Marianne giggled each time one of us snatched something off of the other's plate. When I asked Billy how he was enjoying the pheasant he quickly sliced off a sizable portion and placed it on my plate. It too was delicious.

We arrived back at our motel room shortly after 10:00 p.m., tired yet very satisfied. After a quick shower we crawled into bed together. Mark pulled me close. Feeling the hair on his chest and legs solicited an immediate reaction from my cock. He reached down and took it gently into his hand and began slowly rubbing up and down. In no time his hand was lubricated by the large amount of precum I was leaking. His mouth met mine and a long passionate kiss followed.

"Sweetheart, I want you inside of me," he spoke softly.

I walked over to our suitcase and found the tube of lube that we'd packed. Returning to the bed I found Mark lying naked, on his back, and smiling at me. His masculine good looks were stunning, yet in that position he looked vulnerable and innocent. I stood for a moment just looking at him.

"What?" he said.

"Oh nothing, just admiring my handsome partner."

"What is it honey? I can see it in your eyes."

"I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed. It's been quite a day."

"Come over here sweetheart. Lie down beside me."

I honestly didn't know what was wrong with me. I was happy; incredibly happy, yet I wanted to cry. I was gripped by a powerful emotion that was strange to me. I lay with the side of my face against his breast. I could feel his chest expand and with each intake of his breath, serenity washed over me.

Only that moment mattered. Everything that happened before, existed only in memory. The future only an expectation. Reality existed only in the present moment and each moment moved effortlessly into the next, and then the next, and the next, and I began to understand.

I could hear the ticking of the cloak that sat on the table by the bed. Mark's breathing seemed to be in perfect harmony with the voice of the clock and I found my thoughts drifting into an unknown dimension. And my understanding grew clearer.

All that will ever be given to me is the moment at hand. And that moment is enough. It is, as the Spanish proverb says, a moment of happiness or, in other circumstances, a moment of sorrow. But for me that moment was one of unchained wonder and joy. All the moments that came before, although complete in themselves, were mere precursors to the magnitude of the event at hand. The moments that lie ahead are but a mystery that I have no desire to uncover, for in so doing, the moment would be lost, and I can't imagine a greater sorrow.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Mark's soft and sensitive voice was full of concern.

"Yes my love. I'm perfectly okay. I want to make love to you now."

And we did. More wonderful than anytime before. When we were finished, as so often happened, we fell asleep in each other's arms and together we embraced a new moment, which, as all those that proceeded it, led us in the direction of happiness.

The End

Thank you for sticking with me over the last few months. Your expressions of support and kindness have truly enriched my life. I send a heartfelt thanks to David and the staff at Nifty for providing the Gay community with a great source of entertainment. Let's not forget that they need our ongoing support.

Every now and then I hear the rumblings of a couple of short stories and a possible sequel to Mark and Steven's tale. In the event I write and post those stories, I'll be happy to notify you when they are available. Please send me your e-mail address if I don't already have it.

Its' been fun. My very best wishes to each of you.

Mark Stevens