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In Stephen's Words By Lordracul
Stephen was not an exceptional child, however he was not ugly like the story that we had heard as children of the ugly duck that had turned into a swan. Life was good for him; he had a job that allowed him to keep gas in his car and was a track star on his highschool track team. His future was going to be an exceptional one and unlike most he had found some one to spend his life with. His name is Eric Connely, a boy who sat two seats from him in Chemistry class. They had often been paired together to work on various projects for school and then that intellectual pairing blossomed in the summer into an emotional one. Stephen had caught Eric watching him while trying to maintain his interest in his class work and trying desperately to hide his interest and fascination with Stephen behind the pages and theories of Boyle's Law. However, Stephen had caught him dead to rights, Eric was watching him stretch after a long study session from the other end of the table. Stephen got up from the table and walked over to the refrigerator and removed to cans of soda and handed one to Eric slightly brushing the young man's hand. Eric blushed a little and then took the can from Stephen's and opened it and then turned his attention back to the textbook. Never forgetting the feel of his friends hands on his. It had felt like silk, even a slight one, it had sent fire through out his body. Stephen then sat back down and decided that he was too far away, funny how all this time that distance did not seem to matter, never truly getting close to one another but now there was a need to be closer to Eric. Stephen had joked many times that it was Eric's short blonde hair and blue eyes that drew them together and then there was the way that Eric always seemed to hold himself when something deserved his full attention, he truly looked the part of a scientist. Stephen recalled all the stories and tales that were told to him about being gay, that God reserved a special place in hell for them and the fire would burn hotter than for any other sin. Even though he knew these things, he knew that how could something that felt so right be so wrong. Knowing now that Eric had been very interested in him seemed to put the icing on the cake. He moved closer to Eric picking up his books and the notes that they had accumulated over the couple of hours of studying and then placed his chair beside his friend.
Eric watched him and realized that he wanted Stephen beside him and prayed that today wouldn't turn out to be another study date. Date, to him that is what they had all been up to that point. No, Stephen was not perfect, standing 5'9 165lbs long black hair and dark eyes and his cocky way of walking to others seemed to cause others to turn away from him or put them on the offensive. For Eric, they were the very things that drew him to Stephen. He had watched him all through highschool hoping that Stephen would take the hint that he liked him. He knew that Stephen wasn't straight for he had seen him staring at the others in the locker rooms and in the hallways at school with an air of masculinity that drove him mad. Stephen had a bright future as he did, but he wanted them to be entwined, he wanted Stephen more than he wanted life but he couldn't bring himself to show it. Never being the aggressive one, always standing just to the side and never in the front that was Eric. But in his subtle way he would always get what he wanted and at this moment he wanted Stephen. Stephen had placed his chair beside of Eric's and sat down. He looked deeply into Eric's eyes as if trying to read his friends thoughts and then turned his attention to his books.
"What have you figured out Eric, how can we solve this last problem that Mr. Roberts gave us?" Looking at his friend with a look of bewilderment on his face.
"I don't know Stephen it might take some more time to figure out. Damn, I don't know about you but this is getting boring."
"Yeah, just a little, just a little, maybe we should go in watch some television or would you like to go up to my room and play some music and the new Star Blaster game that I got?" Asked Stephen.
"Let's go up stairs I could really use a break from all this egghead shit any way and there never seems enough good news on television any more. Everything has taken on foreboding and bad theme there."
"Yeah, man that's why they call it headline news." Laughed Stephen.
Eric laughed with him and then followed him through the hallway and into the living room where Stephen retrieved a bag of potato chips that he stuck behind the couch and then walked up the stairs to his room. Stephen's room was done in blues and green's it kinda favored a baseball motif. Above his bed was his picture of a bald eagle with its wings outstretched gliding on the wind. Eric had bought it for Stephen at the mall when they had spotted it in the bookstore. They had gone in to get Eric the new vampire book that had just come out. Instantly Stephen had spotted the book and before Eric could get it Stephen had gotten it and paid for it. So Eric knowing that his friend loved the nature of the Eagle and loved watching them on the nature shows immediately turned and bought the poster. Yes for them, this would be the years of discovery, discovering what each other liked and what each other needed from the other. Good times that started here in this room. Stephen lay down on the bed after starting the game and handed the other controller to Eric. As they began to play the game Eric snaked his hand onto his friends leg and then slightly felt of his inner thigh, then moving closer up when Stephen made no attempt to move it. Needless to say the game that had been started on the screen never got finished while the one on the bed had begun to heat up. Stephen lay back on the bed and pulled Eric down near him and they kissed deeply, exploring one another's bodies. Knowing that they would not be separated from each other and they would fight with their lives to stay like this. Yes, these were the good times.
A couple weeks later Stephen's mom had come home from shopping and found them together on the bed petting. She simply closed the door and walked back down the stairs and waited quietly in the living room. She knew that her son was gay and was glad that he had found some one to spend his life with but yet he was still his son and this was her house so there had to be rules. Stephen and Eric came down the stairs looking like two three years olds that had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar one too many times. Funny that two seventeen year olds would feel this way. She looked at the boys coming down the stairs holding each other's hands and then Stephen led the way into the room and sat down beside his mom while Eric tried to desperately make his way for the living room door.
Eric where are you going, please come in here young man." Said Stephen's mother.
Eric turned slowly and then walked into the room and looked for a safe place to set down and not finding one he started to walk over and stand behind Stephen. Stephen's mother scooted further down the couch away from her son and patted the sofa. Eric walked over and sat down still looking at the ground. He knew that they were about to catch hell and now he was directly in the middle of the storm and the line of fire.
"Don't look so glum Eric, do you love my son, tell me truthfully?"
Eric didn't raise his eyes from the spot he had picked out in the carpet but did find his voice to say, "Yes ma'am I do."
"Then look up at me and say that to my face Eric." Taking the young man's face in her hand and holding it loving making him look at her and when his eyes met hers she released him. "Now tell me Eric please and not my carpet."
"Yes, I do love Stephen ma'am." Said Eric.
"Stephen do you love Eric?"
Stephen looked at Eric and then at his mother and then said, "Yes, mom he makes me happy." Then once again beaming at Eric.
"What if ten years or ten minutes from now you both were to find some one else that made you happy what then?" Asked his mother.
Both boys replied at the same time, "Nothing we love each other."
"Good that makes me happy, but his is my house and even though you love one another the only thing I want to see around here is kissing, hugging and holding hands. Nothing more boys, do I make myself clear?"
"Yes" replied both boys.
"What would your mother say Eric if she knew, you know that you both must tell her?"
"Don't worry mom we already have she's cool with it. Frankly we were worried about you." Said Stephen.
"Just be careful guys, I don't want any thing to happen to either of you." "We'll becareful ma'am don't worry." Said Eric.
She left them in the living room where Stephen wrapped his arms around his lover and turned on the television. Stephen's mother went into the kitchen to fix them some dinner and set a place for Eric. She told him at the table that he would always have a place here even if he and Stephen did find some one else.
Time passes the wheels of the calendar turn as does the seasons. Making young men older. Stephen is now twenty-two and Eric are twenty-one and live in the city nearby in their apartment. Eric's mother died leaving him alone with Stephen and he clinged to Stephen more as the days turned into the dark nights. Their love had transcended what either had expected and love seemed to ooze through those rented apartment doors. Stephen had gotten a job in the city working with the road crew needless to say giving him a body and tan to die for. Eric became a pharmacist at the local hospital. Things were truly looking up. Eric had been given the day off and planned to enjoy it with Stephen but his boss would not allow him to take the day off. So Eric sulked around the house waiting for him to get home. He had cleaned the apartment and made supper and placed candles on the tables and put on their favorite CD to calm his nerves. For the last couple of hours something told him that something was not right. Then the phone rings.
"Hello, is this Stephen's apartment, my name is Mark Wills, I'm Stephen's boss." Said the voice on the other end.
"Yes it is."
"Is this Eric, I need to speak to Eric it is about Stephen." Said the man.
"Yes it is what is wrong with Stephen?" Eric felt his feet give out and sat down in the chair near the phone.
"Stephen had a car accident about twenty minutes ago Eric he is in the hospital and in critical condition. Before he went into a comma he gave me this number and told me to call you. He is at the Saint Mark's Hospital. I'm sorry Eric." And then the line went dead. He knew this hospital, it is where he worked.
The world shifted on its axis, the sun had seemed to turn to blood in front of Eric's life. Both still being very young they had all their life before them it was they against the world and from five minutes ago they were winning. Some how he managed to find his keys and ran down the hall to the elevator hoping that he didn't run into any one because he didn't have the time to stop and apologize. The light of his life was laying in the hospital and he had to get there to make sure that it damned sure didn't go and if it did he wanted to hold Stephen one last time. Every fiber in his being demanded it. Finding his car he unlocked the door and slammed it shut and turning on the engine and speeding down the parking lot and then out into the traffic was the last thing that he remembered of the trip to the hospital. Rushing into the emergency room doors a nurse Sarah had stopped him and told him that Stephen was waiting and that he had come to and was asking for him. She warned him of what he would see in the room, he had tubes running everywhere.
Eric made his way over to the small cold room and found Stephen lying in the bed with his eyes closed sleeping. He walked over and sat down beside the bed and looked at Stephen and reached out to take his hand and then pulled back not wanting to hurt him. Eric looked down at the floor and began to cry. Stephen slowly woke up and turned his face to Eric's he found Eric's hand on the bed and reached for it and held it.
"Stephen, I'm sorry I didn't want to wake you."
"That's okay, bright eyes, I wanted you too, I'm busted up pretty bad."
Eric held onto Stephen's hand and cried he reached out and stroked and wiped the sweat from Stephen's forehead. Stephen just looked at Eric with a big smile on his face.
"What you thinking about Stephen? Why are you smiling, you have to be in pain?" worried Eric.
"Thinking about you, bright eyes, and the first time that we met. How you always managed to be there for me."
"Why you thinking about that Stephen? You should be concentrating on getting better."
"I am Eric, I always feel better when I think about you." Eric leaned down and kissed Stephen's brow and held his hand. Damn, what he wouldn't give if it could have been him lying in this bed instead of Stephen.
"Eric, I need to tell you something before I go."
Eric flinched and sat down in the chair, Stephen had stated that he knew he was going to die. No, he couldn't listen to this.
"Stephen, don't talk like that man, you know damn well your gonna get better and that we are going to Hawaii like we had planned," said Eric encouragingly.
"I would love to go to Hawaii with you Eric but I'm not. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, bright eyes, and that I always be with you." Said Stephen squeezing Eric's hand tighter and then raising it to his mouth he kissed it.
"Damn it Eric, don't do this, I can't lose you, I need you. Your gonna get better, you know that," cried Eric but as he spoke the words the room seemed to grow cold and the smell of lilacs filled the room.
Stephen turned his head and looked down at the foot of the bed as if he saw something there. Eric watched him and worrying and wondering what he saw.
"I see them Eric, and I hear singing, it's a happy place they're taking me to," said Stephen pointing to the foot of his bed.
"Stephen, stop talking crazy. There is no one there. What do you mean they are here to take me to a happier place?" questioned Eric.
"The angels, Eric. The angels at the foot of my bed. Don't be sad, Eric, I love you" with that Stephen closed his eyes holding on to Eric's hand as the air suddenly changed again and Stephen was carried to heaven in the arms of angels.
Eric had caught a glimpse of them leaving together never quite understanding why but then he thought that Stephen had wanted him to see that he was happy. Crying profusely Eric left the hospital room and had to be carried away from the cemetery later. But as is the nature of time, it goes on and the things that hurt us are soon smoothed over but never truly forgotten. Eric, now a man in his thirties finds himself laying in the hospital bed where his love had laid some ten years before dying of AIDS. He had met another man who had seemed to fill the hole a little that Stephen had left but the man never told him that he tested positive for the virus and that he was carrying it. A young man ravaged by disease lying in a cold hospital room alone with a smile on his face never having any regrets. Finding the strength to raise himself in the bed a scent seemed to fill his nostrils, one that he had smelled before, yes, it was the scent of lilacs and if he wasn't mistaken there was the sound of laughter. Not just anyone's laughter it sounded if Stephen was laughing at the foot of his bed. Squinting his eye in the direction that he heard the laughter he saw Stephen.
Stephen walked up and stood near the railing of Eric's bed and reaching out his hand looked down into his lover's face. "I've missed you, bright eyes."
"I have missed you too, Stephen. I'm tired, Stephen."
"I know, bright eyes, I know. That's why I've come for you; time to go home," said Stephen lovingly.
Eric looking up into Stephen's eyes said the very words that Stephen had just spoken, "Time to go home." And then he closes his eyes and found himself walking with Stephen towards a bright happy place that Stephen had said to him in his own words that it was home.