In Skater's Time
Chapter 4 Where Skater's Go
As soon as Gordo hit the parking lot, his skateboard slammed down and he was off. I had trouble keeping up as he zipped out in between cars and propelled himself along the edge of the street as a transit bus blew its horn as it lumbered to overtake the boy on his downhill run. At the first street he cut right across the front of another car, leaped the curb, and his wheels ground against the concrete while echoing each crack in the sidewalk.
At the next corner the wheels clacked down after he launched himself six feet into the street before he was connected to the pavement again. A car came up short in the middle of his left turn, waiting for Gordo to get out of his way, and another car had to brake hard to miss the hesitating left turner. I gave up following his suicide run and watched him skating almost a block away. I never saw him look once when he crossed a street. He flew like the wind, hell bent on destruction. As for me, I was happy being alive and I was in no hurry to go anywhere, though where I'd been had me wound so tight I didn't know if I'd ever unwrap myself from the images.
I'd never seen anything like what I'd just seen and I don't mean the movie none of us watched. Neither of them seemed to care much that another guy was sitting there watching what they did. Gordo was dangerous and not just with his skateboard. I'd let him lead me to what I wanted to find but I wasn't sure he was worth all that but giving him what Pat gave him seemed like a good idea now that I knew how he felt about it.
I wondered if that was why he took me up there. Did he realize I wanted to do just what he got done? Was this his way of letting me know or was it just another of those random events that leads you to the next crossroad? Just because he let guys do that to him didn't mean he'd let me.
I knocked on Mr. Jensen's door the following afternoon once I'd mowed the Parker's lawn and weeded my mother's garden. This time I was going to be more direct. It was sweltering by noon and I felt the hot air on my face as I forced it out of my way. I jumped off my board once I hit the Jensen's driveway and I leaned it against the door before I even rang the bell.
I heard voices and wondered if Mrs. Jensen was home already. The door finally opened and Mr. Jensen leaned on it and stood behind the screen in his white T-shirt and blue shorts. He showed no signs of inviting me in.
"Z, ah..., what are you doing here?"
"I was just skating and remembered you were alone. Thought maybe we could have another glass of tea."
"Ah, gee, Z, I ah was just about to climb in the shower. Ah, maybe we could make it another time."
The hot air was suddenly hugging my face tightly. What a jerk I was. This guy wasn't interested in no kid. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I felt like a chump as I tried to make my exit graceful.
"Oh! I'm sorry. I...."
"Hey, we going to get this done or what?"
The boy was older than I was, but not by much. Mr. Jensen whirled in an angry posture that seemed way out of character for the gentle man.
"I told you to wait in the other room," he reprimanded severely. "I'll be with you in a minute."
"Hey, look, twenty bucks don't buy the day, dude. I got fish to fry elsewhere and like that, okay. We going to do this thing or not?"
He was in a pair of white briefs and white socks and that was it. Well, that wasn't quite it. The front of those briefs stood out at a forty-five degree angle as the boy's hand felt it and locked eyes with me through the black screen. It was a curious look, an eager look as well. I checked the front of his briefs again and he smiled, holding it for me through the material. Mr. Jensen looked at me through the black screen. I looked at Mr. Jensen and then back to the angular underwear. No one said anything for a way long time but I could see Mr. Jensen's brain working.
"Look, Z, this isn't what it looks like. I can explain."
"Times a wasting," the boy said while still looking at me. "I get the twenty no matter what. Don't try to be working someone else in on me for free. I don't play dat game."
"Will you hush?" Mr. Jensen said.
He sounded frantic and trapped. The boy took two steps forward to get a better look at me. He was taller than me and had dark hair and a really nice chest with proud nipples. He analyzed me with his eyes as his hand tugged at his briefs. There was something between a smile and a sneer on his lips.
"Three's cool. It'll cost ten more," the boy said, leaning his arm up the hallway wall so I could see the bold burst of dark hair under it as my eyes checked him over yet again. His calves were covered in dark hairs and his strong thighs were not. There were dark hairs at the top of his leg where the briefs interrupted the view.
"I told you to wait in the other room. Now wait," Mr. Jensen growled as the boy disappeared.
"Mr. Jensen," I said trying to find the words.
"Z," he pleaded with me but had no more words than my one letter name.
"I was at the park, Mr. Jensen," I said as he found himself caught in a way I suspected he had seen coming for a long time but only now was the reality of what that meant sinking in. "I saw you there."
"Oh Jesus. Come in here," Mr. Jensen said sounding flustered and he swung open the door but didn't move out of the way. "Let's talk a minute. I can explain everything."
"You don't need to explain," I said.
"Yes, I do. You don't understand. You can't say anything."
"Have I said anything? I've known and I haven't said anything. I went to the park on my own. I'm telling you I go to the park too."
It was the biggest confession of my life. What would he think of me now? I was telling him my inner most secret. The secret I guarded with my life until that moment. He now had the exact same thing on me that I had on him if you didn't count the stud in the briefs. We visited parks. We visited a certain kind of park. I was too scared to do anything about it but I went there just the same. I went there for the same reason he went there.
"Maybe you shouldn't come in just now," he said. "I don't know him that well. I didn't know he was a loudmouth. I'll be here later once I get rid of him. You can come over if you want to talk Z. Just talk is all, okay."
Now the Mr. Jensen I knew and liked was back. He let the screen door close and I stayed on the outside of it as he had suggested. He gave me an easy smile and I smiled back, not feeling very happy about the entire deal. I wanted inside. I wanted in on whatever it was they had planned. Once again I had come close and fell short.
Now I suspected that if I had gone into Mr. Jensen's house that day the summer before, I'd have seen something like what I had just seen Pat doing to Gordo. I thought about it a lot back then. It always seemed to be on my mind and now there was more to go on. I suppose I could do something like that with someone but I didn't know how to get over the hump. I wanted to do something but so far I hadn't done anything. Well, that's if you don't count that bit with Gordo the day we met.
"What's up?" Gordo said as he stood looking up the hill at me watching me approach.
"Not much," I said.
One he got away from me I figured I might not see him for another week or two, but I was glad he waited for me.
"Don't get the wrong idea," he said in a stern voice.
"About what?" I asked.
"You know what just happened. Don't get to thinking I'm like that."
"Like what?"
"Faggy! I do what I do. I like girls best. Guys are easier. Older guys are way easy, you know."
"No, I don't," I said.
"You really are a virgin," he observed, checking me over like it was something he had just figured out.
"We did it in the woods," I said, proving my experience to him.
"Man, you got a lot to learn. We didn't do shit. A little mutual Willie whacking ain't doin' it, dude. Don't you boys over there know nothin'?" He laughed but I didn't think he was laughing at me.
"Not really," I said casually. "It never came up. I thought about it some."
"Don't we all? Come on. We'll stop at Macky D's and I'll get us some Egg McMuffins."
"It's lunch time," I said, checking my watch.
"You don't know nothin'. You like Egg McMuffins?"
"Sure, but it's lunch time," I explained again.
He laughed and his board collided with the asphalt, and he was off and running again. This time he looked back and timed the cars more precisely so they didn't need to slam on their brakes to miss him. I still couldn't keep up even when he skated sanely. Gordo was like a live wire. He was always hot. He was always on. He was always going full tilt. I wondered how long it took a live wire to burn itself out.
We sat in front of McDonald's eating McMuffins and drinking coffee. He had a sack full and we couldn't eat them all. He gave the bag with two still left in it to an old homeless guy he called Shep. It made me wonder even more about the brash boy.
"Want to go to Tower Records with me?" He asked.
"Sure," I said, before thinking about the consequences.
We were off again. I stayed about a block behind. It was all downhill so between cross streets I kept up with him. Soon we were looking up at the Tower Record sign. He nodded with his head for me to follow, and he walked into the store like he was the second coming. He went directly back to where he knew the album would be, and he marched with me directly behind him to the counter.
"Hey, bub, want to make me a deal on this here CD?" He said in a covert voice.
The boy was tall and willowy. His hair was so blond it shinned. He had the biggest blue eyes and the worst case of acne. He leaned with his elbows on the counter and surveyed the lean boy in front of him.
"Gordo, you know I can't do that."
He used his eyes to indicate something or someone was at the back of the store. Gordo smiled and nodded that he got the message.
"Oh, you can do anything you want, Jamie. You de man."
"You're going to get me into trouble," the boy said, looking around at the door in the back.
"I can do you some good, you know," Gordo said, leaning one arm up against the pole by the register and letting his other hand move up over the cashier's bare forearm. They both watched the fingers slip up the sleeve of the loose fitting shirt.
"Gordo, Stop now! You know what that does."
"You're lips say stop but your pants say go. What can you do for me now that I done that for you?" Gordo sounded absolutely evil.
It rang $9.99. The price on the case was $12.99. Gordo smiled and took the sack from the smiling boy. He watched us as we exited the store.
"You're terrible," I said.
"Yeah, your lips say I'm terrible but your pants say I'm not all that terrible," Gordo said, turning on me with a hostile look as I checked my pants for any sign of excitement. There was none that I could tell.
"Why do you do stuff like that?"
"Take it where you can get it? Treat people nice and they treat you nice. Jamie's a sweet guy. When no one is there we go in the back and the CD's are free."
"You have a stereo?" I asked as we walked our boards back up the hill.
He started laughing. I failed to see the humor in it. It was a simple question.
"It's for my girl. I give her the CD and she gives me... you get the idea. Treat people nice...."
I did get the idea. Before I knew it we were behind the mall and there was this huge staircase in front of us. He sat on the bottom step and took the CD from the bag and read both sides.
"So you went up there to get money to buy a CD so you can screw your girlfriend?" I tried to put the pieces together.
"My girlfriend'll screw me without me giving her anythng. I like giving her stuff. Pat's cool. He likes me. You don't understand all this do you?"
"No!" I said, looking at his curvy lips. "It seems like the long way around to me."
He wasn't handsome. He was skinny. He didn't have all that much to offer anyone, but there was something about him I really liked. He had this way of making me feel alive. Alive in a way I'd never felt alive before. I thought about the first day I met him quite often. I remembered how much better it was than I imagined it would be.
"You like Pat?" Gordo asked, spitting in a high arch as some people came down the steps and stepped gingerly around us.
"He's fine. Not the way you mean. I don't know him."
"You didn't know me," he reminded me.
"I still don't. Why'd you buy me breakfast?"
"It was lunch time. How could I buy you breakfast?" He reminded me of my words.
"You know what I mean. You rich?"
He laughed easy like and then there was this serious look that came on his face. He looked at me carefully, like he was thinking about what I had said.
"I suppose I am. What I am is free. I didn't buy you anything. I know a guy in McDonalds. He saves stuff for me instead of dumping it. No skin off his nose. If you treat people right you're rich beyond your wildest dreams."
"You mean if you give them what you want they give you what you want?"
"If you're nice to people they'll see to it you got everything you need and more. Am I rich? I live in a culvert over near Santee. No stereo. My old man's a military drunk. Worst kind. He comes home and if I want to live, I leave. He busted my arm when he came home when I was seven, my jaw when he came home when I was nine, and kicked me down the stairs after he came home when I was eleven. I started to see a pattern, you know. I split."
"Fuck!" I said, trying to get my arms around it.
"I hang around for my mother when he ain't around but he's been home a year now without leaving."
He checked me out carefully and leaned back and placed his elbows on the step behind him.
"Get the horrified look off your face. I'm way better off on the street. At least I don't get no bones broke less I break 'em. We take care of each other."
"We?"
"Yeah, there's Benny, and Tim, and Zack, Gene, Peggy sometimes, and Brenda on weekends when she don't want to stay home. We look out for each other."
"You really live in a culvert?"
"Z, you don't make shit like that up. I live in a culvert up under a bridge, and no I ain't no troll or goblin or whatever lives under bridges."
"I know that," I objected.
"Well quit looking at me like I am," he said, glancing at me a couple of times before looking out at the trolley tracks.
"I'm sorry I said. What can I do?"
It had changed everything. I knew Gordo was a lot tougher than I figured him for, and yet he had a way with people I'd never seen. He was this sweet little kid that grew up way too fast. He certainly knew his way around people. I guess you had to if you wanted to survive on the street.
"Sorry for what? You didn't kick me down the stairs. Quit getting your panties in a bunch, will yeah. I only told you cause I like you. Now you're going to look at me like I'm a geek, right."
"I'm not," I argued.
"Well, now you know. I get it out right off if I like someone. Don't see no sense in wasting time, you know. People going to judge you wrong, I want to know it right out. I say where I am so you know. I don't lie and I won't steal if there's any way to avoid it. Then I only takes from those what got plenty."
"Like Pat?"
"Lord no. Pat's my friend. He needs to give me money to make the deal complete for him. Relieves his guilt."
"Guilt because you're so young?"
"Guilt because I'm so male. This really isn't an act, is it? Are you pulling my leg?"
"I don't think so."
"I usually find something I need before I go over there. Gives credibility to when I ask him so he doesn't need to offer it first. Which is how it worked the first few times but then I figured out how to make it easier on both of us."
"Like needing the CD."
"Yep! You're catching on."
"Why do you do stuff like that?"
"With Pat? He likes it. I like it. You don't like it?"
"Sure but you're going to see your girlfriend. What's that about?"
"That's that and she's something else. Look, a guy that you give a hand to will usually give you a hand right back. It's no big deal. Finding a regular guy like Pat what will polish your knob for you, well, that ain't so easy. I took you along so you'd have a place to go if you need something like that. You look like you need it. He'll fuss when he first sees you and then he'll let you in. Don't ask for money the first time. He just offer you some. Then let him know you needed this or that. He'll take care of you if it isn't unreasonable."
"Yeah, but I don't know him. I felt funny seeing him do that. What we did was cool but I don't know about the other. I'd have to know someone real good before I'd get there."
"Yeah, your lips say no no but I seen your eyes up there. I was there, remember. I'm here now, Z," he said, looking out of the corner of his eye at me like I wasn't fooling him.
"I wasn't looking at him," I said, feeling a bit weird saying it.
"Anyone showed you the tube?"
"No," I said.
"Come on," he said, grabbing his board and racing up the hundred stairs about as fast as anyone could. He was waiting at the top of the stairs and dropped his board on the ground as I hit the last step. He was gone in a flash, out across the road, but the light was green for us this time. I needed to catch my breath but I needed to be with him too.
What they called the tube was this huge sewer pipe that had to be twelve feet high. It hadn't rained since I'd been there but I knew how once it did rain all the rivers and streams overflowed in nothing flat and then the next day it looked like it hadn't rained in about a hundred years. I didn't know if the tube ever filled up, but it was at the back of the mall and the parking lot all slanted down in that direction, so a lot of water would run off quick if it rained hard.
Inside the tube on one side was a platform that stood three feet high and was maybe three feet wide.
"Where I sleep is like this. We're up off the ground if it rains. Our blankets and stuff will stay dry. Try it out. It's an extra firm," he said, lying down on the concrete.
I leaped up and lay down beside him. Hard wasn't the word for it. It really got hard once I felt his hand on me. At first it shocked me but then he had my attention big time. I thought about our last time and it made me smile. This time was different. He moved beyond my reach before I thought to reach for him. I remembered what he said about guys returning the favor, only it wasn't like that this time.
I suppose everyone should know what it's like to get your knob polished. I never had a clue, not that I knew much about this kind of stuff. It took my breath away at first but then I didn't care if I ever breathed again or not. I pictured Gordo sitting in the chair with Pat and I remembered what it looked like. The look on Gordo's face, the way their bodies moved, how they both became part of it. I was sure I felt just like he looked and I understood.
He was amazing.
When he got me about as far as I could go, I tried to get control, stop him, warn him, something, anything. Instead I did nothing. Well, I can't really say nothing because I about blew a gasket as I unloaded on him like I'd never ever unloaded before. It was like falling off cliff, climbing into the sky in the belly of a super sonic jet, and being bathed in this most incredible spa, all in the same instant.
What he was faced with was like the heavy rains that ran off the parking lot above before it all rushed down to meet at the tube. The concrete was no longer rough on my back and I didn't have a care in the world. My life was now complete. I started to understand what Gordo had been talking about when he explained why it was he went to Pay's. Only to me being down there with Gordo was ten times better than him being up there with Pat.
"So, now you know it all," he said, carrying his board as we walked back up into the bottom of the parking lot. "Everything about me."
"It was incredible. I felt so helpless. I mean I never expected you to...." I shut up before I put my foot in it again.
"I don't do that, so don't be telling anyone I do. That's for when I really like someone. That's when I want you to know I really like you. Got it?"
"Yeah!" I said with stars in my eyes. "Thanks."
"It's not something you thank someone for. It's something you do for someone when you like 'em enough. Just don't think I'm a geek, okay? I really want you to like me."
"I won't. I mean I do. What I mean is, do you want me to? I will. Right now! We can go back there and I'll do it to you right now. I'll prove it to you. I like you too. I like you a lot."
I was ready. I had seen the light. I wanted to prove to Gordo that I could give as good as I got. I wanted to return the favor because I was sure I was going to like it more than I ever thought I would before he took me into the tube. Gordo had gotten me beyond the last hurdle and I was ready to do for him what he so gladly did for me.
"God no. I need mine. Never let an amateur practice on you. You can't use it for a week."
"Sounds like you have experience," I said, smiling at him because the image his words left me with seemed funny.
"You're only young once but it only takes once to make you a whole lot smarter about who you let put it in their mouth."
"I bet but I want to do it for you," I begged.
"Let one of the older guys break you in on his. They're tougher an me. They like new stuff. Ace got a real strangler on him. He's got to be used to teeth marks on that fat fucker he's got. He'll give you a go if you ask him right."
"Not with someone I don't even know," I said. "I know you."
"Shit, some guys only do it with guys they don't know."
"I don't."
"Once you get some practice, let me know."
When he dropped his board on the asphalt, I knew. He was off to parts unknown, only this time I wasn't invited. I watched him grow smaller as he skated around the corner of the building. He left me with a lot to think about.
Writersrealmmm@aol.com