IST19
Chapter 19 After The Loving
Thomas McLauglin, 14, was unwillingly outed, repeatedly told to keep quiet about his sexuality, and made to read the Bible in his public school, according to ACLU director of public education Paul Cates.
Please go to my website for details and articles directly under the notice for my book on the left side of the page:
www.writersrealm.net
...And read about this young gay hero, who refuses to be brainwashed into submission by the big tough religious fanatics.
"...And a child shell lead them."
It's great to have a place like Nifty where we can meet but we all know what being a gay kid can be like, and these pseudo-christians will do anything to deny gay youth any comfort from people who know what they're going through, further isolating them to assure they'll grow up in misery and thus have insentive to change their biological predisposition.
If they continue stacking the Supreme Court Nifty won't exist, and believe me when I say, before Nifty there was no where I could tell my stories, and there was no where for you to read them. We need to speak up when kids like Thomas are threatened. It's our country. It's our Constitution. In spite of the protests of the religious we have all the same rights as they do. The only difference is they have the power and are ruthless with it. If you aren't like THEM or at least pretend you are, then you live at your own peril.
Please take a few minutes away from the pleasing world I create for you to read about the real world and the uncertain future we'll face if the current administration brings their brand of Christianity to America. They are still in the minority, only they speak with a single voice, and it is loud, as President Gore can verify. The question is, will we remain silent while they take over?
Thomas won't and that makes him heroic in my book. Will he find himself standing alone or will a few of you stand up with him?
Chapter 19 After The Lovin'
"Do you always drink this much tea?" I asked, sitting at the table watching Paul lean his broad back against the fridge.
"I suppose. I'm thirsty. God, you about wore me out."
"Me?"
"You make me want you so much, Z. You're incredible."
"All I did was lay there."
"Right, and all I did was cum, and cum, and cum. One towel wasn't enough. We'll probably need to change the sheets."
Paul had a perpetual smile on his lips. His chest was taunt and powerful looking, and both of his nice round nipples stood out boldly, a color not much darker than his light skin. He had far fewer pubes than I had, and no he didn't trim them. He was a stud from the get go and his cock hung down over his balls and looked longer and thicker than I remembered. With the way each of his thighs bulged he was the picture of power. I couldn't believe he had made love to me.
"Quit looking at me like that. You're going to get me hard again."
"That's cool," I said.
"No, it's not. I don't want it to just be about sex."
"Just about sex? Shit, how long have we known each other? How long did it take us to get around to it? I think twice wouldn't be a lot," I said, getting hot from looking at him and wanting his body against mine again, and not being the least bit thirsty.
"Don't you have any hair?"
"Yeah, my heads full of it. You made me cut it. I got six around my cock and three under each arm. How much does a guy need?"
"I didn't mean anything by it. I mean I got more hair than you."
"Some people are hairy and some people aren't," Paul explained. "I aren't."
"Am I okay? I'm not too hairy, am I?"
"You aren't hairy except where you're suppose to be. I mean like you don't have hair growing out of your back or on the palms of your hands or anything. You're fine and even if you did have hair growing on your back, I'd still love you, but I'm rather glad you don't."
"Why do we keep stopping. I mean I was ready to rock and roll, dude."
"I don't know, Z. I done a lot of stuff. I mean like nonstop stuff for a weekend, except to sleep and eat and piss. I try not to want it all the time. It's hard with you around, believe me. It just worries me that I'm a sex addict."
"A sex addict? Get real. I can't even get you into bed. I mean we've only got the weekend and I'm not done yet. Don't be holding out on me Paul. I've waited almost eighteen year for this weekend."
"I'm not saying we're done. I'm just letting it rest a while. So we take a break at least."
He stopped making eye contact and acted nervous about the sex deal. What was to be nervous about? Your dick got hard and you worked it out until it was soft. It seemed simple to me and my dick was hard.
"You want to talk about it?"
"No!" He snapped.
"I think you want to talk about it."
"No!"
"Let's go to bed. It's late," I said, not having a clue what time it was.
As he reached out to set his glass on the counter his arm muscle bulged the size of a softball. I was made hot by the thought of being in those arms. Paul's dick did a slow rise until it was standing straight up and pointing in my direction.
"Anything you say," he said, and with that we were off to the bedroom.
We made out for a long time. I alternately wanted him to fuck me again and I wanted to blow him, but we made out and I kept forgetting what I wanted to do to him. After a time he worked his way down my body until he swallowed me in one long slow motion. I felt myself in his throat and I bit my tongue, not wanting to blast away so fast. I wasn't sure how long it would take me to reload. I'd jacked off three times in a day a few times in my career, but we were getting into charted territory and I didn't want to disappoint him. Most of my other experiences had been kind of hit and run affairs.
He took care of the problem, spitting me out after lying with me in his throat for about ten minutes or maybe ten years. He didn't suck, lick, or manipulate me in any way that I thought was a requirement. He went down until he had all of me in his mouth and he seemed content with that. Perhaps he sensed my nearness to an explosion of massive proportions, perhaps not. I'd never been so hot for so long. It was awesome. He was awesome and seemed to know everything about exciting me to the max and holding me there for eternity.
We made out for a long time after that and that made me happy that he would. I still felt like I might cum any second. I was just hanging. Just touching him got me going and I hung there on the edge of reality. I felt like a dope having to concentrate on not cumming. I wanted to devote all my time and energy to concentrating on pleasing him.
Then it happened. He rolled away from me and lay on his back and fumbled with the nightstand. My dick started to throb and my asshole throbbed a little too, but for a different reason. I wanted him inside me again. I wanted him to stay inside of me. I wanted him to be part of me and I wanted to be part of him, forever, but he had other ideas.
"What are you doing," I objected, sensing he wasn't going to fuck me at all. "Putting the rubber on. You ain't fucking me without one. We'll both go and get tested. Then, if we don't do it with anyone else, I'll let you go bareback."
"And you?"
"Shit yeah, I'll fuck you bareback, after we're tested, and then six months."
"Six months?"
"I could go with the two year version. They say that's the safest, but for you, six months and then bareback. It'll give you incentive to only go with me. A reward for monogamy."
"You want me to fuck you?"
"I've been dying for you to fuck me since the day we met. Now, fuck me."
Easier said than done. First I had to calm down from him using his mouth to slide the rubber down my shaft. Once he got it on, he did the number with keeping me in his throat for the longest time. I gritted my teeth and fought off the urge to blast away. If he had just sucked ever so slightly or activated his tongue, I'd have blown a head gasket for sure. God could he suck cock. It felt like it was swollen up twice its normal size when he finally backed off me to preform more feats of magic.
First he sat on me as I laid flat on the bed. He slowly eased himself down on me and my dick felt like it was a foot long by the time he sat on my pubes. He used his legs to keep his weight off me and we sat there like that for a time. Once we started a motion it felt absolutely incredible, his tight muscle massaging my fat muscle. He went slowly enough that I stayed just below the danger zone. The one thing I didn't want to do was fire off a load so fast that he didn't get what he wanted from the experience, and by the look on his face; he got plenty out of having my dick in his ass.
We changed positions and I ended up between his legs, fucking him the way he fucked me. This time it was up to me to set the pace. He did little but stare at me as I worked up a head of steam, but then he pulled my face to his and he fed me that tongue, that incredible sweet hard tongue. I was sure I could suck a load out of it if I worked on it long enough.
It was while I was kissing him that it happened. I mean I had been so close for so long that it didn't take anything to get me over the hump. I was surprised that he once again let loose when I did, only I stayed firmly planted inside him and didn't dare pull free for fear that some of my ecstasy might escape. Then I was exhausted.
We lay in his cum and he held me to him while his heart slowly diminished its tom tom beat. He traced my back down to my ass with his fingers and I stayed firmly planted inside him, not having any urge to separate. It didn't matter any longer, which of us was inside the other, as long as we were somehow joined. I felt the love rushing between us and it is the kind of feeling you are never prepared for. All I wanted was to be with Paul.
Somehow, as I lingered between sleep, exhaustion, and awareness of only him, I ended up behind him, my arms around him, his hands clasping each of my forearms as he kissed my fingers, sucking one at a time, using the warm wet mouth on them like they were mini dicks, and my not so mini dick stood up with only that for stimulation. I was still safely inside, expanding deeper as he excited me with the way he used his mouth on me, and then his ass started to undulate in a way that had me hot to trot and my dick was hungry for more.
Something happened to me there in that bed. I was suddenly a wild child without limits. Going after him for all I was worth this time with no consideration for anything but he sex. The harder and the faster I fucked him the better I liked it. I wasn't on the edge or even close and for the first time I could actually build up a head of steam without worrying about instant orgasm every time he touched me.
His ass met my thrusts with equal enthusiasm. His moans came in gasps and filled my ears. The louder he moaned the harder I fucked and the harder I fucked the more he seemed to like it. It was then I got the idea to give him a reach around and it was all I could do to contain his cock in my fingers. When I did, he let out a groan/gasp and I felt him cumming past my hand. His ass rammed back against me and more cum exploded into the room as he backed up like some crazed bull bucking his bronco for all he was worth.
Even then I wasn't quite ready but I gave him all I had left, loading up the rubber as our moans mixed together in our song of love.
I clung to his back, panting for all I was worth, and sweating like a hog as I held tight to him. I held his chest and felt it expanding against my arms. He held my forearms again, kissing the back of my hands, and then rubbing them on his face as we regrouped. His moans had now become soft whimpers.
"That's got to come out of there this time. Careful so you don't loose it," he cautioned.
"The rubber?" I asked.
"Yeah, two is more than they're built for, Z. Take it easy when you pull out."
"That was great?" I said, recovering the rubber as he held up the trashcan for it.
"I did a lot of stuff up at school. It's hard for me to talk about it because it wasn't me, Z."
"Who was it?" I asked, not sure what we were talking about.
"It was me but it wasn't. I was lonely. I wanted guys to want me and those guys did. I'm not all that good with guys my age. I mean I won't take any shit and I rub guys the wrong way with my attitude. It's not like I care but I did care about being alone all the time."
"We all do. No one wants to be alone. It's cool."
"It wasn't about sex. My brother took care of that. Then Danny started in. We'd spend weekends not doing anything else, watching porn, fucking. It never occurred to me that it wasn't cool. Felt cool. I mean I loved it and those two are always at it."
"I'm not following you, Paul. You've told me about that. It's up to them if that's what they want to do."
"When that soccer player from the college came on to me, it was the neatest thing since sliced bread, you know. Here's this twenty something dude trying to pick me up. I mean really working at it. I knew he wanted me big time. I didn't feel all that good about myself and he made me feel fine. I knew better than to go to the frat party when he invited me. I knew what was going to happen before it did. I mean I didn't know but I knew, you know?"
"Yeah," I said, still not clear on where we were heading.
"I got drunk and went into one of the rooms. Just with him. Here's this man, a real stud, and he wanted me, a lonely kid, and so we had sex. I mean I went after him like a bear goes down on honey. I'd never been with anyone the way I was with him."
"That's cool," I said, "Why not. I'd have done it. Age isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"That's not it. Then there was another guy, even before he left the bed. He was younger, had pimples and this crooked dick with skin that never came off the head. I sucked it without him asking. It was there in front of me and I did it because I was hot to do it. I really wanted to do it. Didn't matter he had pimples or anything else."
"Wow!" I said, feeling a twitch in my groan as I pictured it in my mind.
"He went off as quick as he was in my mouth, and another guy was there. I don't remember what he looked like. He had a real fat short dick and lots of hair. I remember that. I was just in this place where I couldn't get enough of what they had and they had no problem with that at all. A couple of them said I was the best find yet. I blew a couple and a couple fucked me and those are the ones I remember. I don't know how many is what I'm telling you. These weren't gay guys either, Z. There were girls at the party and they went with me for some reason. Something about it made me feel really good."
"Wow! I can imagine you were a little bothered by that," I said, thinking it sounded as good as anything I had done.
"I thought about it all week after I did it. I really tried to remember how many guys I did it with. For some reason not knowing bothered me more than the sex. I just felt pretty slimy, you know. I could stay home and get all the sex I needed but this was way different. Those guys wanted me bad. It excited me a lot even when I couldn't remember how many. It bothered me, and I went back the next week and did it again, and a lot of weekends that summer. I don't have a clue how I didn't get it. Maybe it was my physical conditioning. Maybe it was theirs. I don't know but I was damn lucky, and then I woke up and I knew I couldn't keep doing that any more. That's when guys started coming over and my brother was going out with a couple from up there and I didn't dare ask him what he was doing."
"So that's what's troubling you? You're afraid of what? I mean you know most of my stuff. I don't feel bad about it."
"I'm afraid you'll find something out that will piss you off. I wanted you to know I've done a lot of stuff. Now I wish I hadn't, because I want you to love me."
"I wish I had done it more. I wish I had done it with guys in Phoenix. I done what I done because it seemed right at the time. You did about the same thing as far as I can see. You just were luckier than I was. Doesn't make any difference how many or why, does it? What's important is this. We're together now. I don't need anyone but you."
"I don't know why I was scared. I was afraid it would make a difference. I don't lie any more about who I am and what I've done," Paul said, rolling over onto his back so he could look at my face.
"I'd leave that out if your father asks you about your sex life," I said.
He laughed and leaned over to kiss me. It was nice, nothing demanding.
"I wouldn't tell that to anyone I wasn't in love with. I want you to know everything about me because I love you, Z."
"I love you, Paul, and if having sex with guys is the worst thing you've ever done, I'm not sure I wouldn't have done it if I had the chance. I know lonely and I like sex."
He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed one more time.
We went for a walk the next day and when we got to the park, we held hands, and little old ladies walked passed and smiled at us. I felt no shame or fear while I was with Paul. If he could kick some tall skinny kids ass, just think of what he could do to a couple of little old ladies.
We spent the weekend exploring our limits but we had a real problem locating them, but we talked a lot and sat in the pool, sometimes with Kenny and Danny sitting across from us and staring like a couple of goofy kids. There were wrestling matches and sexual innuendo and a few outright invitations for us to join them in the television room, while they watched porn tapes that they described to us in careful detail. Each offer was declined and they finally left us alone saying that we were no fun at all.
Everything ended up with us being even closer than we were before. We held hands in the house, in the pool, and at times in the park. We skated for a while Sunday afternoon before I had to start thinking about going back to my world.
We went back to his house to say goodbye and then I had to call my parents to tell them that I would be late. We went around the world and back again and I didn't want to let go of Paul. I couldn't imagine not having him to hold onto. My life had been about alone for so long that now I didn't want to leave him, but the reality was that I had to leave if I didn't want to be killed by my parents.
"Do your parents love you, Z?" He asked about eight o'clock Sunday evening.
"Of course they do they're my parents. They've got to love me."
"No, my parents don't love me. My mother could care less. She's got a passel of kids with her new husband, his, theirs, and some from another wife of his. Dad... dad's never been around. I think he's got a woman somewhere and a lot of time when he says he's flying, he's off fucking her. That's what I think. He use to bring them here but Kenny got a little frisky with one."
"Kenny?"
"She was closer to our age than she was to the old man's age, but he stopped bringing his women around after that."
"Wow, I never thought about my parents not being there for me. I mean they've been married like forever. They're always kissing on each other. Calling each other silly names, and slipping off to the bedroom at odd hours. It's embarrassing."
"You're lucky, Z. I wish I had parents. I might not have done some of the shit I done, you know. It's like an empty spot. I think something belongs there and then my father comes home and I know there's nothing there. He leaves money for food, checks our report cards four times a year, and asks if we need anything. The rest of the time he's in his own world. He don't care about us. We can do anything we want. I wouldn't be surprised if he's got more kids somewhere."
"At least you aren't being beat or worse. You could be like Gordo. Not have any place. Not have anyone. You have your brother."
"Yeah, I'm not saying I don't know I'm lucky compared to some, but you'd think when parents go through all the trouble of having kids, they might ought to take some responsibility to see they grow up alive."
"That's not the way it is, Paul. I'm the lucky one, but anyone can have kids. There are no requirements that I know of. Maybe there should be."
"Yeah, you think we can have kids?"
"Maybe if we screw enough," I said.
"I'm out of rubbers. It was a full box Friday. I made sure I bought one."
"So you were planning all this?" I asked.
"I did have my hopes up," Paul said, feeling my face as we stared at each other.
"That's not all you had up. Did I disappoint you?" I asked.
"Oh, man, you're going to milk this for all it's worth, aren't you? It was so much better than I dreamed it would be, there aren't words to describe it. I mean I knew I'd like it with you but I really haven't made love before."
"All those guys from school?"
"That was sex. Orgasms. It was good. We had a good time. This was... it was... I don't know what it was, but loving you makes it the best, Z. That's what it was."
He kissed me and he kissed me and he kissed me some more. I knew I had to go home. I knew I was going to get it. We kissed some more.
"You want to move in with me?"
"Move in with you. You're father would love that," I said.
"No, I have a house."
"You have a house?"
"Yeah, my grandparents had a place over in La Mesa. My grandmother anyway. She died last year. She left the place to Kenny and me. Kenny can't move in until he's eighteen, but I am eighteen."
"You're serious?"
"As a heart attack. What do you say. Move in with me. I'll go up and start getting the place ready. Kenny won't mind."
"Paul, I can't. I've got school. I've got parents. They'll have us both arrested. You're grandmother too."
"I can wait. Say you will after school is out. You'll be eighteen then. You can do what you want after that."
"Three weeks and I'll be a man," I said.
"Be a man? If you become any more a man, Z, I won't be able to handle you. You gave my butt a run for the money."
"Why didn't you say something. I didn't want to hurt you," I said apologetic. "I couldn't help it."
"You silly boy. I loved it. I've never had anyone fuck me like you did."
"Most of the guys up at school lasted five minutes and they wer done. You just kept on going."
"Speaking of going. I've got to get home."
I met Paul right after school on Monday and Tuesday. He had a paper and an exam that kept him late on Wednesday. I decided to skate up to the mall until it was time to meet him. I hadn't been out skating on my own in weeks. It was almost five when I started to skate to Paul's but I was rudely interrupted by a familiar voice.
"Hey, Z, come over here."
I turned around and knew better than to skate over to him but I did. Dart was every bit as wily as ever. He started feeling his cock through the Spandex before I was close enough to see it lengthening. By the time I got over to him you could see right where the head joined the shaft and to make sure it made the maximum impressing, he squeezed so it bulged out more.
I'd never seen one like Dart's before or since. It was built for sex and to fit any available crevice, recess, or opening on the human body and probably some not so human. His sensual lips formed a cruel smile that said he had what I wanted and he could be talked out of it. I stopped a little more than an arm's length away from him, but it was too close, I could smell the sex on him. He always smelled like sex to me. My dick started to stiffen as his smile for me widened.
"Where you been, Z. I've needed you more than once. I sure am glad I caught up with you. We need to talk."
"About what?" I asked, and his eyes slowly went down to his stiff cock as he felt up and down the shaft, squeezing several times to keep it swelling. It was big and impressive and the heat was rising in my loins.
"Let's go over by the tracks, Z. You can stay on it as long as you like. I haven't done anything since yesterday and I really need it. I've dreamed about your lips on me. I've missed you. I can see you've missed me."
His eyes watched mine watch him manipulating himself in a more urgent way. I swallowed hard and my mouth went dry. My eyes followed the movement of his fingers as he explored the swollen torpedo. My dick twitched and started to throb as my brain drifted on his smell. My thoughts narrowed down to his cock and what his hand was doing to it. It was easy to remember the taste of it, the texture of the velvet skin on my hungry lips, and how he squirmed as my mouth would cover him. His groans were distinctive as he panted his approval, and how he would tense his muscles and grab my head to pull my mouth further down on him as he let loose with the bitter sweet reward for allowing him to stretch my jaws for me.
Justin Case, rest in peace. Your silence will be heard.
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Only for the serious reader looking for love: http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/discovering-gregory/ http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/in-skaters-time/ http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/billie-joes-journal/
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