In Skater's Time
Chapter 16 Touched
I know the chapters are coming slower right now and most of you understand I want to contribute something besides jerk off stories. It's time to reach beyond talking dirty to each other. It's time we make a difference so gay kids no longer grow up in fear and shame. If we don't make the effort the next generation of gay kids will say we didn't care about them, and they'll be right.
I need your help and patience if I'm going to reach a larger audience with material that offers a somewhat different view of gay men. It isn't about me. It's about us. It's about the quality of our future. It's about making the effort. It's about offering an honest picture of men who are gay.
If you want to help visit my website and buy my book and I'll write more.
www.writersrealm.net
quillswritersrealm@yahoo.com
Peace & Love, Rick
Chapter 16
Touched
Lying in that bed with Paul altered the reality of my existence. Having two big strong arms around me was how I wanted to live the rest of my life. I felt safe, fulfilled, and something else, something so incredibly all consuming that there is no name for it. Perhaps it was infatuation, lust, or the other L word that I wasn't sure I could say.
Paul didn't ask for anything. He caressed my hair, my back, and some times my ass, but there was no demand in his touch. He seemed as comfortable with me as I had grown to be with him. He kissed my face in waves and laughed and squeezed me against him. He seemed happy, silly, and very much alive. The only thing that came between us was wet, wild, and very hard, and once I grasped the substance of the problem, he could do more than watch my hand and moan in my ear as he held me against his chest.
I didn't expect the face full of his love potion but it's what I got. I don't know how long I'd been pumping away on it but his chest tensed as I listened to his heart beating faster and faster until his was sounding like the hummingbird version, and then he unloaded in jet propelled streams that wet my lips, my nose, and then my neck, arm, and hand. I felt incredibly important at the moment of truth. Paul was my prisoner and I held his destiny in one of my hands and he exploded with his appreciation for what I had done, only I hadn't done it for him. I had done it just for me because I could without me knowing I could until I did. Seeing how much he liked it was a joy to behold.
His body was an amazing mixture of muscle and sensuality. Taking him there was the best thing I'd ever done for anyone. Hearing what it was doing to him while I did it was incredibly stimulating and arousing. Paul was a man to my boy and he was everything I wish I could be but thought I never would be. I didn't know Paul but I knew him better than I had ever known anyone before and I loved what he made me feel.
Then I was just there in his arms, the recipient of his kisses. If I wasn't in love with Paul I was probably having a bad reaction to something because I had butterflies in my stomach while I was feeling terminally dizzy, like I might float away if he didn't hold me as tightly as he did.
"You okay?" Paul asked after some particularly long and deep kisses.
"Uh huh."
"You want something to drink?"
"Uh huh."
"Come on," he said, leading the way back to the kitchen.
"Soda? I made some ice tea. It's sweetened."
"Yeah, Ice tea," I said, as he bent over and leaned into the fridge.
His ass was perfectly fit to his beefy legs and wide back. I could see the muscles in the back of his legs and he seemed so incredibly powerful. There was a spread between his legs and it gave me a view of his hidden beauty and some fine fur that I didn't realize was there. He stood and reached for glasses and ejected ice into them before filling both and bringing me one.
He drained his and refilled as I sipped and watched. His incredible blond pubes were quite scarce when compared with my darker and bushier version. What hung from them made me look even less mature and underdeveloped. It was odd that while I had envied Dart and the big boys that I was earliest exposed to, Paul's size wasn't as threatening or mysterious. Whether or not it was in the water or some scientific experiment that had gotten out of control in El Cajon and Santee, it didn't really matter. I was glad he had what he had and even happier I had what I had, because it allowed us to do what we needed to do to make one another feel complete, and I was more complete than I had ever been, That's until Danny showed up.
"Hey, sup?" Danny said, bouncing into the kitchen, the only advance notice, what seemed like a perpetual erection on the thin boy.
There we were three naked boys in conversation while drinking ice tea. I didn't think much of it then but now I can't imagine doing that in Phoenix. No boy ever allowed other boys to see his nakedness if it wasn't in some prescribed area of the locker room or in a bathhouse near the pool. I wasn't sure why I hadn't seen any of my friends naked before.
It was when Danny's hand plunged down onto Paul's pubes and then grasped his dick that I didn't like the nudity at all. The boy's long thin fingers encompassed the meat and skinned him back so the wide head came into view. The worst part was that Paul drank and said nothing about the errant hand.
"Paul!" I said with shock in my voice.
"Z!" Danny mocked, not looking at me. "You never use to stay soft when I done that."
"Yeah, well, it's not for you. You're a kid," Paul said.
"I didn't use to be a kid. You use to couldn't wait to get me in the bedroom face down on the bed."
"I was a kid then," Paul said, only then moving the unruly hand off his dick.
"It was last year, Paul. Why don't you like me any more?"
"Danny, you're fourteen years old. I'm a man."
"You don't have to tell me that. I've got the stretch marks to prove it."
"You see, you think it's a game. It isn't. It's serious business and when I was a kid I played with it just like you are playing. I'm a man now and fucking kids isn't cool. That's the only difference."
"You can't stop liking what you like because you get older."
"Maybe, maybe not."
"So he's not a kid?" Danny asked, looking over his shoulder at me.
"No, he's no kid."
"He's not that much older than me."
"I'll be eighteen in two months," I threw into the pot.
"Big deal," Danny said. "Can you handle him. I don't think so. He likes to fuck. He use to like to fuck me until he started going with those guys up at the college."
"Shut up, Danny," Paul said, finally becoming irritated with the talk.
"Oh, you haven't told Z about the orgies, huh?"
"Shut up, Danny. I'll tell Z anything he wants to know. That's none of your business. Who I fuck and where I fuck them is none of your business. You're out of bounds because of your age. That's all. I've changed because there are laws against me doing what we use to do. That's all."
"The fucking law doesn't know what I want or how often I want it," Danny argued. "It's none of there business what I do with my dick."
"Yeah, well, give me some ice tea so I can cool off until you want some more," Kenny said, moving up behind Danny and reaching around him with his arms being just long enough to grab a glass and pour some tea and the smaller boy didn't need to move.
Danny reached for Kenny's limp cock as soon as he leaned his back on the counter between the other two. Once again there was no reaction to the roving hand that skinned Kenny back until the head of his appeared. You could see his was wider and flatter on top, arching slightly so the head turned toward me. There was a deeper pink hue on Kenny's dick head, but otherwise the two brothers were identical, save Paul's muscles and Kenny's extra two inches of height. They could have been twins if they weren't brothers.
"He's no fun," Danny said, trying to arouse Kenny with his fingers.
"You didn't complain none a little while ago?" Kenny said, sipping casually as the hand pumped on the spent dick.
"Yeah, but it was more fun when I had both of you," Danny said. "Besides, Paul's not as big. And he's gentle. You're rough. It was better when he went first and I had a chance to get use to it."
"Well, you could have neither of us if you prefer that. I only fuck you because it's easier than fighting you off."
"Yeah, well, the sounds you make might say that's a lie," Danny bragged, smiling broadly at the indifferent Kenny.
"I never said I didn't like fucking you."
"No, and you better not."
"Danny, when you get older, you might understand that you don't fuck everyone you meet just because you like it. You'll find someone special," Paul explained.
"Yeah, like you found those guys up SDSU, huh? Were all six or seven of them special."
"Danny!" Paul said.
"Were they all special? And now I guess he's special," Danny said, being unfriendly when he looked at me this time.
"Danny!" Paul said.
"Well they weren't. I had most of them and none of them were as good as you," Danny said.
"Danny!" Kenny said.
"You had all of them? You didn't even know them," Paul said.
"Yeah, well, they didn't hesitate taking my phone number and all but one of them called me," Danny bragged. "So even if you don't like me anymore they seem to think I'm good enough for them."
"Danny!" Kenny said.
"Well they did and they're older than Paul. He's just mad cause I know all the secrets."
"Danny, what I did then was what I did then. I didn't say I was always a nice guy. I thought quantity was what it was about. You think that's what it is all about. It's not about that and I don't think it is anymore. You still think it is. You're a kid and you'll grow out of it," Paul said with no hostility or anger in his voice.
"If that's what it means to grow up I don't ever want to grow up. I don't even want to stop liking it," Danny said, leaning back against the counter and finally letting go of Kenny's dick.
"As for Z he knows what he wants to know. If he asks about the guys at the House I won't lie about it. I don't feel I need to tell everyone how stupid I use to be. Especially I don't want to tell someone I like as much as I like him, but if it makes a difference, then he'll have to decide that. Z isn't a kid either. You are and that's why you think everything is about you, Danny. It isn't and when you think it is, you think like you think."
"I think just fine."
"Danny," Kenny said.
"What, you can't even get it up," Danny complained.
"You know how rough I am?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, in a few minutes I'll show you what rough is if you don't shut up."
"Promises, promises. It was just more fun when I had both of you."
"It's not up to you who Paul likes and who he fucks. So shut up.""
That pretty much ended the conversation. Four nude boys with three knowing everything about each other and me, trying to put it all together. Paul had told me some of his past and he'd told me enough about SDSU that I knew he had fun there but not so much that I knew how much fun he had or with how many guys.
We retreated into the bedroom with fresh ice tea and we could hear the thumping of the music coming from the now open door of the television room. I did wonder what might be going on down there but curiosity wasn't that serious to keep me from staying with Paul. The entire conversation was discomforting because Paul knew almost everything about my sex life. He'd seen almost everything I did that first day when he followed Dart and me into the woods. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what he had done but it was no longer my decision.
We both lay with our backs down on the narrow bed, his one arm was around me and my head leaned against the muscle as I sipped tea and thought of how great it was being there with him. Neither of us said anything for a long time but I could feel that Paul had something heavy on his mind.
"One upon a time there was this skinny insecure kid. He thought, if he lifted weights and became a bad ass he'd no longer dream about sucking guy's cocks and taking it up the ass. He worked and he worked and he became a jock but he wasn't really a jock because inside he was still the same skinny insecure kid. He ran faster, kicked harder, jumped higher than all the other boys, but in the showers with them, he dreamed about how he would love to go down on their cocks.
One day the skinny kid with all his new muscles plays a pickup soccer game with some frat guys up at SDSU. It was mostly my high school buds and me against them. They slaughtered us nine to nothing and we weren't sure we wanted to play with the big boys any more, not soccer anyway.
"One of the SDSU guys comes up to me and asks me to hang around. He takes me to the frat house and we talk soccer and end up in the shower. He's a tall thin guy with a pretty neat body and great eyes. While he's soaping it up it accidentally on purpose gets hard and he watches my reaction as he continues to soap it."
"Sorry about that, dude," he says, "ain't fed the bulldog in awhile. I guess a guy like you doesn't have that trouble."
"What trouble? I ask, all confused, and then mine starts standing up for him, only I ain't soaping it. I'm just watching his hand moving up and down on his."
"Oh," he says, "Maybe you need a little something too. There's only one thing to do when they get like this. You do jack off?"
"All the time," I said as he closed the distance between us and he felt my butt before putting his hands on my shoulders until I'm face to face with his soapy cock. It didn't take long for me to give him what he wanted, only I couldn't wait. He was pretty intense as he got off with me down on him so far my lips were in his pubes. It wasn't what I did best but with Kenny and Danny, I'd had enough practice to make all gone."
"You don't have to tell me, Paul," I finally said, squirming with the images that came to me as he spoke.
"Yeah, I do now that Danny's run his mouth. His name was Ben and he invited me to a frat party. He said there were lots of guys like him that would go with a guy like me. Since he didn't return the favor, I wasn't sure what he meant, but I wasn't worried enough not to want to find out. I didn't know him or any of the rest of them. I was the only guy that was asked to stay from my team. I didn't wonder about that.
"That night I went back up to the frat house. Some of the guys that were there had played soccer and some hadn't. I guess there were twenty or thirty guys that came and went. Some brought girls and most didn't. Pretty soon I'm drunk and Ben has me back on his dick in one of the bedrooms in the top of the house, only when I look up I see other guys in the room and Ben says they're okay. I don't have a clue how many or just who they were or what brought them up there. I was with Ben and no one seemed to care until he was done and then there were more guys and more hard dicks. I ended up naked with some dudes on my back and some just sitting in front of me on the bed and me too drunk to care about anything but impressing them with how willing I am. It's not something I'm proud of, Z. I was the kid in the candy store and these hot dudes were the candy I'd dreamed about for as long as I can remember. I was more excited than I had ever been. Too bad I was so drunk I don't remember most of them.
"I'd go home in time for school Monday and my asshole would be sore and my dick would be raw. What I did with who I can't say. I got to know a few of them that wanted to know me better and they mostly came around for me when the old man was out of town more and more. I guess Kenny made arrangements with some of them and Danny did the same. It wasn't like I was with any of them. It was mostly about sex. They came over and took out their erections and I did the rest. Some times they hung around and sometimes they got off and took off."
"How often did you go to parties?" I asked, concerned.
"Last summer, every weekend. Then once in awhile until I quit going up there. I started to realize that I was doing it out of habit. It wasn't that much fun after a few times."
"Were they all gay?"
"I don't know if any of them were gay. There were a few that did it all with me but mostly that happened when they came to the house. Up there I was the centerpiece on the buffet of love. In that one bedroom anyway. I watched girls going into other bedrooms and then guys wandered in and out a few at a time. I don't know what that was about but I knew some of the same guys had been with me. That got me thinking about what they were after."
"You didn't get anything out of it? I mean you just let them...?"
"A few guys would give me a reach around while they fucked me but mostly it was about them getting off. That's the way it seemed at the time but I drank a lot back then. Things might have been going on that I don't remember but I was never that drunk."
"Damn, Paul. How do you know they didn't have it?"
"I didn't. They were all athletes and some were built better than me. They all seemed healthy, but I got the drips back last September and had to go to the hospital up there for medicine. Ben took me. He knew what it was. That's about when I slowed down. I got a blood test a few months back after I stopped going up there. I was fine and I use condoms when I fuck now.
"I guess sick guys aren't athletes most of the time. I guess they get blood tested a lot for drugs and all. Anyway, for whatever reason, I didn't get it and I know I was lucky and now I'm careful. I guess I should have gotten it for being so stupid. I was like Danny. I wanted guys to want me so bad that when they did, I didn't know where to draw the line. If I said no to one of them would they then all go away? I'd have settled for handshakes and hugs but they wanted to fuck and get sucked and I didn't mind. It was all good back then. I wasn't alone anymore. Doing it to guys who seemed to want it so bad made it even better for me. I mean hearing them and watching them was pretty neat shit. I was getting these guys worked up and taking them where they so needed to go. You could see how much they liked it."
"That's a lot of sex," I said, not knowing how to take it.
"I figure most guys like me go through a hundred guys or more on account we all go a little wild when we first find out we can do something with other guys, besides my brother, I mean. I just went through my hundred all at one time," he said, rationalizing it all. "Got it out of the way so I could find the guy I want to spend my life with."
"Wow!" I said. "That's a lot. I don't think I could...."
"Oh, Z, you're such a wuss. You didn't do it with anyone who would do it with you or go down on anyone who asked you to go down on them? When you didn't think you might never get another cock to suck? I been there Z. Don't try to con me. I saw you in action, remember? You didn't know how to get any more but you wanted more because of how it made you feel. It's the kind of high nothing else can give you. Especially in the beginning."
"I don't think I would do that many guys," I said, thinking I would and I didn't want to tell him that even after he told me his. Sex was suddenly more confusing. I wanted to be nice but in Paul's place I don't know I wouldn't have done exactly what he did for exactly the same reason. If I had known how powerful sex was I'd have done something in Phoenix. I'd have taken the risk with some of the guys I liked.
We stayed silent for a long time. He kept his arm around me and I stayed as close to him as I could get. I was starting to get a little horny again and I put my hand on his stomach just an inch above his pubes. I didn't want to just grab it. Well, I did but I didn't want him to know that.
He moved away and leaped up out of the bed before I could touch it.
"Come on. I need to get some exercise. We'll skate," he announced.
"Paul, I was just going to...."
"I know, but you have everything under control, Z, and you don't need to do that. I'm the only one that's a big enough whore to want that all the time, right?"
Paul's words were filled with pointed edges. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. My dick stood out in the room and for the first time I really felt naked when he stared at my hard cock. I knew he almost changed his mind for a second but then he became determined again.
He had his Spandex on in a flash and we were heading out back. I could hardly keep up with him and he didn't look back. He seemed like a man on a mission and I wasn't sure what the mission was but it took a long time for him to slow down so I could be close to him. As we skated along I couldn't go without touching him any longer and so I put my hand on his leg very near where I knew it would be. It was mightily on my mind to get him back home. As we whizzed down past the theaters, three guys were walking across the street toward the entrances.
One of them said, "Fucking fags!"
It was then, I realized that anyone could see me touching Paul's leg. I didn't get to realize for long because Paul's board leaped up into the air in front of me and skittered off into the grass. He nearly knocked me over when he turned back toward the three startled guys.
"What the fuck did you call me," Paul said, charging up to the spokesman with rage in his voice.
The guy was four inches taller than Paul but not nearly as wide. He put his hands up and pushed Paul backward one step while saying, "What's your problem?"
Paul put his chest on the the other boy's chest and his nose was almost on the guy's chin and this time the guy gave up a step, backing deeper into the parking lot. His two smaller buddies following but they kept their distance as they watched events unfold.
Paul's face had gone red, the vein in his neck was bulging out like it might burst, and every muscle in his body tightened as he challenged the mouth for clarification.
"I just want you to say to my face what you were so eager to say to my back. Go ahead, say it you chicken shit mother fucker."
Paul's words were venom that he spit on the boy's face and they continued moving toward the front of the theaters one slow backward step at a time for the guy who had said too much.
"I didn't say anything," he said, gasping and looking for help as his friends turned their backs on him.
"Paul," I said, sounding like Paul talking to Danny earlier.
"Say it," Paul yelled in the man's face. "I want to hear you say it to my face."
I was afraid to grab his arm or to try to reason with him. He had something to prove and I wasn't a part of it. It was him and a guy that had called Paul something that every gay guy hated to hear, but rarely did anything about. Paul probably called himself that or worse, only when it came from someone else's lips, and was meant to be a terrible slur, that placed you far beneath the one giving the taunt, unless you were Paul, and then all bets were off.
Paul wanted to find out what was behind the insult. From first contact it seemed there could only be one result and I didn't want to end up in jail. I held his board and followed a few steps behind.
I just wanted to go home but I couldn't because my parents though I would be out for the weekend and now I was stuck with the choice I'd made and for the first time I was sorry for lying to my parents. I was certain that no good would come of this and I was helpless to stop it.
quillswritersrealm@yahoo.com