In Skater's Time
Chapter 15 Paul's All
I know the chapters are coming slower right now and most of you understand I want to contribute something besides jerk off stories. It's time to reach beyond talking dirty to each other. It's time we make a difference so gay kids no longer grow up in fear and shame. If we don't make the effort the next generation of gay kids will say we didn't care about them, and they'll be right.
I need your help and patience if I'm going to reach a larger audience with material that offers a somewhat different view of gay men. It isn't about me. It's about us. It's about the quality of our future. It's about making the effort. It's about offering an honest picture of men who are gay.
If you want to help visit my website and buy my book and I'll write more.
www.writersrealm.net
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Peace & Love, Rick
In Skater's Time Chapter 15 Paul's All
There are times and events in your life when you are forever altered. Many times the event is documented and prepared for well in advance. There are photo ops and back slaps and handshakes all around. Graduating high school and college would be two that come to mind. Both are life altering as they allow you to believe that you are prepared for the rest of your life. There are other events that are equally life altering, except you might not take as much time preparing yourself for them and so you don't have a real understanding of what it will mean.
I'd found out that I was a sexual animal by the time I was a senior in high school. My basic understanding of my feelings, thoughts, and ideas came from stolen moments, glances, and touches that came up like an unexpected wind and disappeared almost as quickly, leaving me with no understanding of what it was about or how I could fit it comfortably into my life. I wanted to harness that intensity for more than a fleeting moment when some guy was willing to stand still for it.
I wanted to connect to and maintain the intensity that both Dart and Gordo brought to my life but on my terms and not simply when they decided they had a need and I was there to take care of it. I didn't know much but I knew I wanted more than I was getting and on a regular basis. Paul had started to appeal to me, not with the same intensity but with the potential of the regularity I knew I needed. What I didn't know was how deep Paul's passion ran or mine for that matter.
Certainly he had grown on me quite unexpectedly. In the beginning I wasn't interested in Paul at all. Coming fresh off a date with Dart, Paul was no more than an afterthought. If he hadn't seen what he had seen he wouldn't have gotten my attention at all.
I really didn't want it to get out that I was down between Dart's legs gobbling cock. Being new in El Cajon, my fit around other skaters was still awkward. I wasn't sure what it all meant yet, but I did know a rumor like that would ruin the best of guys back home. So I found myself humoring Paul, while trying to figure out how to get rid of him, but suddenly I didn't want to get rid of him at all.
Once I started getting to know Paul, I liked him more and more. I suspect it was like being introduced to alcohol or drugs for the first time, and while the sound of the words make you queasy, once you get the taste for them there's little that can jolt you free from the addictive quality of the drug. It was true with Dart and Gordo and now it seemed to be true with Paul. I wanted more and more of the mysterious arousal that came upon me once Paul got close.
In Phoenix I was oblivious to the potency of sexual experiences. It was more dangerous than rewarding, even though I had gone to the town's most notorious park to see what I could see when I reached sixteen, and there I saw a boy I knew going with a man I knew he didn't know and that scared me. I wasn't sure what it was about but I didn't want any of my friends seeing me with those kinds of men. I left town unscathed and a virgin but the sex deal was always on my mind by that time.
Sex was a drug that occupied more and more of my waking time once I got to El Cajon. Mostly it had been thinking about it, planning it, and looking forward to the experience. Then after finally having a sexual experience, each time one ended, way too soon for my taste, I was left thinking about the next time. Each time I was on the street, I looked into every boy's face for some signal of mutual interest, even if it only lasted for a minute, but I still wasn't sure what I was looking for even after I got what I wanted.
Getting a little of Dart and Gordo every once in a while only had me looking for a fix that would last me until the next time one of them was available. Gym class got me as close as I dared get to other naked boys while I waited and there was always the super cautious level of thought that kept things under control. Even when other boys stole glances of my package, I dared not show much interest in theirs. It was all too complicated.
There was an unwritten law that lived in the high school's locker room and always there were monitors who were quite aware of other boy's eyes and where they went during the hot steamy showers. You didn't dare get caught lingering too long or too often on another boy's delights. It took only one glance too many to start the rumor mill flowing, but the desire had become stronger and gym merely fed the fire that was burning inside me.
Fear kept my self-control in control but thoughts of the other boy's bodies filled my dreams, and then there was Paul. He seemed to want to be with me while Dart and Gordo only needed to be with me when they wanted what I gave them. Paul was there any time I would consent. I didn't know why I didn't like him the way I liked Dart and Gordo. I wanted to but I didn't.
Actually Phoenix was easier on me. I was aware of the little quirk that had me stealing looks at the other boy's any time I could get one. I fully expected that this would pass and I too would be eager to get with girls, only I never was and my interest in boys only became more vigorous. I spent more and more time trying to get all the glances of my friends that I could get. It might be while we were stopping to piss or changing to swim, and then there were unexpected exposures that came out of this party or that, usually older boys who were being bold because it was their only hope for success or they were just drunk enough. Not being on guard for it, none lasted for nearly long enough, except in my dreams.
I lacked the courage to suggest anything that would give me more time to see the things I most wanted to see and so quick looks were taken and now the memory lingered when Dart or Gordo failed to appear. My interest in Paul had started off non-extent but it had started to grow. I don't suppose everyone can impact you like Dart and Gordo got to me but Paul was okay. I did like being around him because he was nice to me.
Once I knew my infatuation for boys wasn't going to change, I envisioned a boy in every school in Phoenix, who felt as I felt, and one day we would all meet in that park so we wouldn't be alone any longer. Once I saw a boy I knew in that park it just made matters worse. What would he say if he saw me there? What would he tell our friends? Was he even there for the reason I was? The man might have been his uncle or his grandfather. Maybe that was where they always met and they didn't know that guys went there to do stuff to each other.
Now I sat waiting for Gordo to climb into my window if he even remembered the invitation. I skated up to the mall two and three times a day, hoping to see Dart so I could give him what he always seemed to want. The less I got of it the more I wanted it and thought about getting it. It was my fix and my drug of choice and I lie a wake nights wearing myself out reliving every taste, sound, and feeling I got while being so engaged. It made me feel alive and everything else made me feel nothing at all.
Being naked in the hall of Paul's house wasn't a big bother because everyone else in the house was naked, and so it was okay by me as long as I wasn't alone. Standing there at the door with anticipation and lust in my heart excited me all the more. I didn't know what we were going to see but I was sure it would be worth the time as Paul stopped in front of me, leaving me with nothing to do but feel his tight smooth ass as I waited for him to reveal what was behind the door.
Of course he hadn't invited me to touch him and everything was pretty casual until I did touch him. The touching became exploration and he'd turned to see my face to see if what was happening was what he had hoped would happen. I guess when you have your hand in the crack of a guy's ass it does indicate a certain interest and Paul's body was like nothing I had ever touched before. It was soft and hard, lean and powerful, smooth and solid, all at the same time.
I had started out just touching him to stay in contact so I wasn't left a drift in a strange house full of naked boys. Once we had stopped, my touch became a feel and my desire became a demand. I'd forgotten why we were down there in the dark hallway, letting my fingers do what I wanted them to do. While I marveled at his body, I was suddenly focused on Paul's tongue once he had turned to address what my hand was doing to him or for him.
He pulled me into his arms and I latched onto him. Feeling his chiseled chest against my slim version gave me an electrical charge that had me on the verge of losing it right there. In some ways the electricity was flowing through his tongue into me. I became a live wire and every place I touched became electric. Our hips pushed our arousal together, his version overpowering mine as his hips did a slow grind.
Since he had to bend slightly to kiss me the way he wanted, it was obvious he was only a little taller than I was. Now one side of his chest was larger than both sides of mine and his arms made two of mine, and I found myself pressed between his thick thighs as his arms pulled me in and held me tight as we kissed on. When my cock rubbed up against his cock, well, it was like lightning had struck and his cock slid upward and was pressed into my stomach as mine stopped way short of where his ended up. I don't know how we could be pressed together from our ankles to our foreheads, but we were. I'd never had so much of anyone and I loved the way it made me feel.
We slid onto the floor and Paul kicked the door with one of his feet and he positioned himself over me as the kiss continued. I'd forgotten everything but my name by that time.
"What the fuck!" Kenny said, standing in the doorway.
"What, you threw him out of your bedroom or what?" Danny asked.
"Nah, they probably came down here to watch us. Paul might not do it any more but he's a watcher."
"Why don't we do it with him any more?" Danny asked. "I never understood about that."
"He's afraid he'll get locked up," Kenny explained. "He's over eighteen. Looks like Z is worth the risk and we aren't."
"Locked up for what? We been doing it since forever," Danny said as Paul and I kissed on.
"Long story. Why don't you two go to bed?" Kenny suggested. "Come on. I was just getting going and I'm not a watcher."
The door closed and the chatter disappeared as Paul leaned on his arms and looked down into my face with the most incredible look on his.
"Want to?" Paul asked. "Only if you want to. I don't think they'll let us watch now."
I nodded as he got up on his knees with his best part pointing directly at me. As he stood he pulled me to my feet and he was immediately hugging. We were kissing again. I forgot why we went down there and then I was following Paul. He held my hand and I once more felt his rear end as I watched it while it moved.
There were bunk beds and he scooted back in the lower one and held his arms open for me to climb into them. I wasted no time getting my lips back on his. This time I was on top and letting my body rub on him everywhere we touched. The kisses had gone from demanding and intense to soft and tender. Soon I was lost in some fog that only allowed me to feel where our mouths and crotches came together. Every ounce of my awareness came alive and focused.
"You okay?" He panted. "Your heart is pounding so fast."
"I'm fine."
"Do you want to stop?"
"I've never done anything like this before," I said, letting my face down on his shoulder to catch my breath.
"I saw you with Dart, Z. Don't say stuff like that."
"All I did with Dart was... you saw what I did. That wasn't anything like this. I mean it was exciting and all but this is way more than that."
"Oh, it is?"
I moved my face back onto his and the kiss lingered and my brain floated above my head. He held my ass and pulled me hard against him as our lips stayed locked together. I forced my hips against his and with my tongue lost in his mouth it came over me like a wave. I ended up somewhere between total awareness and unconsciousness. My body confused and my heart erupted inside my chest as I took the air from him and returned it as I emptied my soul onto him. I could hear myself whimpering and moaning as my body went out of control. The only thing keeping me from floating away entirely was Paul's mouth, and I thought for a few seconds that I was getting lost inside of him and that there would be nothing left of me once my eruption ended.
"You okay?" Paul gasped as he held me carefully and cradled my face against his.
All I could do was gush air and gasp more.
"Your heart is beating like a hummingbird heart."
"I know," I gasped.
"Are you okay?" He asked, kissing my face.
"Okay? I'm fucking wonderful. That was awesome. You're awesome."
Paul held me as a chuckle escaped from him.
"We haven't done anything yet."
"We haven't," I panted, feeling my hair matted to my forehead with sweat as I started to realize there was more to me than my dick and my lips.
"We just got naked and made out is all. There's a lot more," he said, brushing my hair out of the way as he looked deep into me.
"There is? I don't know if I can take any more. I've never got off like that before."
"Not even with Dart?"
"I only got off if I did it to myself with Dart," I confessed. "I mean there's nothing wrong with that but it was nothing like this."
"Oh, you like me more than you like Dart?" Paul inquired with a mischievous sound appearing in his voice.
"I never said that," I objected. "I like you a whole lot different."
"I'll settle for that. I'll settle for whatever you'll give me. I really like you, Z. That day we were with Dart? That day you blew him? I wanted you to want me like you wanted him."
"I know. I didn't think I could feel this way. It's all so new. I've wanted something for so long and I thought it was what Dart and Gordo had, but it wasn't, that was only a small part of what this is, Paul."
"With Dart it couldn't be a small part."
"You know what I mean. What we just did wasn't that."
"We haven't done anything, Z."
"I'm not sure that's true. We've done plenty."
"There's a lot more. I want to do it all with you."
"How did you learn so much?"
"I don't know I should tell you everything. I was not a nice boy."
"Paul, you're too nice for your own good. You're almost too nice to like you as much as I do."
"You do?"
"No, I just get naked and make out with everyone I know."
"You do?"
"Paul, quit."
"I like listening to you talk. You don't talk very much. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I'm not fine. I'm great."
"Yeah you are and wonderful and handsome and sexy...."
"Cut it out."
"Okay."
We hugged each other close. I pressed my face against his chest and listened to the thumping of his strong heart. My lips felt the warmth of his skin and his arms held me close. I'd never had anyone hold me that way before. He didn't seem to want to jump up and rush off and for once I was at peace with the world.