In Another Life

Disclaimers: This story is fiction and it is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives. If you are underage for your area, if it is illegal for you to view such material or if you are opposed to two men in a loving situation then this story is not for you either.

Note: There are some flashbacks in this and the next part, they deal with the past that I am setting up, but the whole story won't be like this, just bear with me while we set up the background. This is a long-haul plot-driven story, and focuses on all aspects of the boys life.

Note 2: I started this before recent events, I love Kevin and to me he is, was, and always will be a Backstreet Boy - this is fiction so he's still with the group :)

"Can we go now?" The small boy asked as he fidgeted in the other boy's arms.

"Just a few more minutes." The young man said.

They had been waiting in the queue for four hours, waiting to see the Backstreet Boys. This was their fifth album, sixth if you counted the greatest hits album, and there were a lot of returning fans even after the year long break that they had taken. The young man waited in the queue with a young child in his arms. He just had to get to the front and things would be easier.

"Next five can go up." The security guard said gruffly as he kept the steady stream of people moving.

A girl a few people behind them began to sob again as she realised that she was getting close to the front and the young man rolled his eyes. Didn't they realise that they were five normal guys, admittedly five good looking and talented guys but still, just five guys.

He was one step closer to the front of the queue and soon it would be his chance. The five girls that had gone before him moved and then the guard spoke again, before he knew it he was standing in front of Brian Littrell. He slid over his poster and waited for Brian to look up. He didn't. Instead he looked down at the picture and grabbed a pen.

"Who shall I make it out to?" He asked in a bored tone. It was obvious that he really didn't want to be here.

"How about the child of Satan?" The young man suggested.

The little boy in his arms wriggled around and smiled widely as he saw who it was that his brother was talking to.

"Kyle, that's Brian." The young boy said.

Kyle held onto the younger boy more tightly so that he wouldn't try to reach for the popstar and looked at the now scandalised Brian.

"That's right." He said calmly as he tried to hide his nerves at finally being here. "That is Brian." Kyle said with a small smile.

"Get Out of Here." Brian said tightly. His tone was not lost on the security guard that stood at his back and he took a small step forward.

"I just want to talk with Kevin." Kyle said. "We have things to talk about."

"He doesn't have anything to say to you." Brian said with a tone that told Kyle just how little he thought of him. "Get him out of here and put him on the blacklist." Brian said to the security.

It was clear that they took this order seriously because a moment later they were being forcibly removed from the area. Kyle didn't make too much of a fuss but he did make eye contact with one of the people that sat at the table. Kevin had been too deep in conversation with one of the girls that had gone up with him but AJ had seen him. There was a brief flash of something across AJ's face but his eyes were covered by the ever present sunglasses and were impossible to read.

Kyle's last thought as they threw him out of the store and out of Kevin's life was that he had failed.

"Kyle, why were they mean to us?" The younger boy asked. He was too young to understand it all and it broke Kyle's heart to see that look on the little boy's face. "We just came to say hi, why doesn't Brian like us?"

Kyle felt the small part of his heart that wasn't hardened break as he saw the rejection in this small face. It was the kind of rejection that this little boy had seen too much of in his short life.

"It's not you he's mad with Jon. It's me." He said.

"I don't like him either." Jon said with a frown. "It's not nice to be mean to people." There was a certainty in that small face that made Kyle smile but it was a wry smile, he wondered how long it would take his brother to realise that the world wasn't such a kind place after all.

"Come on kiddo. We've got to get you to Julia's - I've got work."

"You said we'd have ice cream." Jon moaned and Kyle was reminded that the kid was only five. Some days Jon had the demeanour of an adult and other times he was just the little boy of five years old.

"I've got work." Kyle reiterated. "But maybe Julia will take you." He said.

Of course it wasn't true but he could hope that Jon would forget by the next day that he had said that. It wasn't nice to lie to his little brother but just once he would have liked to have given him what he wanted. But again he had failed. Because Jonny had wanted to meet Kevin and Kyle hadn't gotten him that.

He wondered if there was anything that he would ever be able to give his brother that Jon actually wanted. Still, there wasn't much else he could do. At the end of the day Kyle was the only one that cared for Jonny and he would have to be enough. Kyle had learned early in his own life that there was only one person that cared for him and that was Kyle. He didn't want Jonny growing up the same way.

"Better make this the last lot." Kevin said as he realised that it was late, they had been signing for nearly five hours and the queue didn't seem to be getting any smaller. "We have to be out at that awards thing tonight and we ought to rest up a bit." He said taking charge as he always did.

Brian nodded in agreement but didn't say anything. It was strange to see Kevin being the responsible one. He hadn't always been that way, only recently. And Kyle's presence there that day had reminded Brian of just how much things had changed in the last six years. Kevin hadn't always been the responsible one and Kyle reminded Brian of the largest mistake of Kevin's life. He was just glad that his cousin had not seen the younger man or that really would have caused some problems.

"Are you okay Bri?" Nick asked concernedly as his friend didn't move as the last fan was shipped out.

They would usually pose for a few photos at the end of the session, a chance for those that hadn't got to personally meet them to take a few pictures, but this had been cancelled in order for them to see the last few fans. Instead they were leaving straight away.

"Yeah." Brian said distractedly. "I'm good."

"Then lets make like a tree and leave." Nick said with a small smile.

Howie, who was stood behind Nick, rolled his eyes. The youngest of them had a penchant for those cheesy phrases, still, it could be worse - he could think that he was from the ghetto as the youngest Syncer seemed to think.

AJ was already on his way out of the building, craning to see the crowd outside. He knew that he recognised the face of the young man that had been escorted outside but it wasn't until he made eye contact with him that he remembered.

It was strange how easily you could forget. Especially when it wasn't your life that was directly affected, but he remembered Kyle in an instant when he saw the eyes. They were more haunted now than they had been but still the same young boy he had known. Of course he had grown in the last five years but there was something to be said for the kid - not that he was much of a kid anymore. Kyle had grown well and was obviously doing okay but AJ did wonder why he had come back. They had hardly parted on the best of terms. And who the hell was the kid in his arms?

Kyle hated to leave Jon with Julia, she wasn't the most reliable person at the best of times and her new boyfriend was a jerk, but she was Jonny's mother and she demanded that his little brother was home with her while Kyle went out to work.

The bar was dark and smoky, not the best place to work but at least working these hours he knew that Jon would spend most of his shift asleep and so would Julia. There wasn't a lot of bad parenting that a mother could do in her sleep.

It wasn't so bad. Kyle got an evening meal at the bar, sometimes he got free drinks if the punters were generous, and he didn't mind the music. As he mopped down the bar he thought about Kevin, Brian and the band - it was a long time since he had allowed such thoughts but seeing them again had brought it all to the forefront of his mind and while they were there he might as well indulge himself. It was not as if he would have anything other than the memories and he knew that now. Brian's reaction had driven that home. Still, he could hardly blame them. Not after what had happened in the past.

~ ~ ~

Kyle had been 13 the first time that he met them. Kevin was the biggest of them, tall and dark like the guy that taught Kyle's soccer team, but Nick too was an impressive size, even before his growth spurt.

It was not every day that you met the Backstreet Boys, even back then when they were really just making a name for themselves in the states. As a 13 year old Kyle knew who they were from the girls at school with him, especially the others in his 7th grade class.

That first meeting only Kevin, Nick and AJ had come. His Mom had said that they were friends of hers and he had nodded and asked Nick, then 17, if he wanted to go out and play ball. His Mom had vetoed that and said that she wanted Kyle to get to know the guys, so he had sat with her and Kevin on one sofa while AJ and Nick had taken the two arm chairs.

"So, Kyle. Your Mom tells me that you like music." Kevin said with a small smile. "Do you play any instruments?"

"I play guitar." Kyle had replied. "Like my Dad. He played with Eric Clapton once, you know."

"Wow." Kevin replied indulgently. "That's cool."

Kyle knew this act. The pseudo-interested act. Guys played it all the time. AJ and Nick seemed to be minding their own business pretty much which told Kyle that Kevin was the only one that he was really supposed to meet.

"Are you fucking my Mom?" Kyle asked directly. His mother was horrified and smacked him upside the head in chastisement. Nick winced at the move but didn't say anything.

"Kyle, I don't like cuss words." Kevin said. "But, to answer your question, your Mom and I are dating."

Kyle's mother smiled and reached out to take Kevin's hand.

"How do you feel about that Kyle?" Kevin asked softly. "I want you to know that you can tell us how you're feeling and that I hope we can be friends."

Same spiel, same man trying to get something from his Mom, Kyle thought to himself. The only difference was that this time his Mom had picked a younger guy than she usually went for and one that was famous. Still, Kyle wasn't sure that he wanted anyone in his mother's life and certainly not in her bed. What would his dad think when he came back? He certainly wouldn't want anything to do with her if she was sleeping around and that might stop them from being a family again.

"I don't want you to be with my Mom and I don't want to be your friend." Kyle had said, grabbing his coat and heading out of their apartment.

The last thing that he wanted was to witness anymore of the fake family setting that his Mom was trying to set up. It would be okay though because his Dad would be home soon and then they would be a proper family again.

Even at 13 Kyle hadn't really been naive enough to think that, he just hoped it were true. He still loved his father and he wanted the other man back in his life. He hadn't stopped to think that the other man might not want anything to do with him.

Kyle stood at the mirrors of the bathroom, the piece of paper burning a hole in his pocket as he realised the power that it held. He was glad that this suit, the horrific thing that his mother had forced him into, had an inside pocket to hold his secrets in. This was going to be the day. The one when he would teach Kevin Richardson not to mess with a Maddox and get away with it.

"Are you okay?" A voice from behind him asked. Kyle turned to see Nick standing behind him with a curious look on his face. "It'll be okay, you know." He promised.

Kyle smiled.

"Yeah. I'm sure that everything is going to work out fine." He told Nick.

Nick didn't know the duplicitous double meaning of Kyle's words. Kyle knew it would be okay because he was carrying his papers, the ones that would throw cold water on Kevin's plans to take his mother away from him. And that would certainly make everything better again.

Kyle stood at the front of the church, a rose in his lapel and a wicked grin on his face. His mother seemed to think that he was happy about the honeymoon, they were going to Orlando and Kevin had promised to take Kyle to all of the parks and on all of the rides, for a boy that had spent most of his time in Kentucky that was a real treat. But Kyle was smiling because he knew that the happy couple would never make it on that honeymoon and he wouldn't have to see Kevin again after today.

Kyle was 14 and nearly a man. He had watched his mother throw herself at this younger man for over a year and now they were attempting to get married. Kyle couldn't allow that. Kevin sucked. He would make a really bad stepfather because he was only a few years older than Kyle, he wasn't old enough to be his dad. Besides, Kyle had a dad. He didn't need another one.

He didn't exactly know why his Mom was with Kevin but he was certain that Kevin was using his Mom and he wouldn't let anyone disrespect her in that way. He had purposefully waited this long to exact the revenge that had been bubbling inside him along with the rage since the pair had announced their engagement.

This was supposed to be a small ceremony, only family and friends and the marriage would be a secret, at least until the Backstreet Boys consolidated their fan base here in the states with their second album.

That was another thing that Kyle hated. Who wanted to marry a Backstreet Boy anyway? His mom was clearly not thinking straight.

He was about to ask her that exact question when the priest came in and the music started. His Mom had chosen not to walk down the aisle so she was already at the front when the priest began his words.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the presence of God, to join this man and this woman..."

Kyle drowned the boring old fart out. He didn't need to hear this bit. He didn't care that marriage was a sacred bond and all of that, there wasn't going to be a marriage so he didn't care.

"...if any of those here present should know of any just cause or impediment why this man and this woman cannot be joined, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." The priest continued.

There was a pregnant pause, as was the tradition at all wedding ceremonies, but rather than the embarrassing silence that most weddings have when the priest asks that bit this was a little different.

"I do." Kyle said normally. It was not loud enough for the entire church of guests to hear and the priest only scowled at him slightly so Kyle spoke again. "I have a reason."

"Kyle, this is hardly the time for this." His mother chastised angrily through clenched teeth. Kevin too was seething with anger.

"What is it son?" The elderly priest asked indulgently. "What reason do you think you have?"

This was clearly a challenge and not one to back down from such a demand Kyle stepped up to the plate. Reaching in to his inside pocket, where the handkerchief for his suit was nestled he pulled out the secret papers that he had lifted from his mother's lock box and handed them over.

"They can't get married because my Mom is already married." Kyle said. The onlookers seemed shocked by this revelation. "She's still married to my Dad."

"Is this true?" The priest asked Julia Maddox soon-to-be Richardson. "Are you still joined with another man?"

"We're separated." Julia said. "They can't track him down for a divorce."

"You lied to me." Kevin said aloud. He looked intently at Julia, ignoring those around him and for the first time Kyle saw the human behind the man that he had loathed when Kevin's heart audibly broke. "You lied to me, you told me that he was out of the picture and that you had divorced him when Kyle was 3."

"That's when he left." Julia said. She missed off the part about him coming back a year later and staying for a few years before he had gone off again. "I really thought that it would be okay."

"You're still married." Kevin said, his voice wavering as he fought the tears. Weddings were only supposed to have tears of joy but this was something so much more than that. "How could it have been okay?"

"I love you." Julia replied, it seemed such an odd answer to the serious accusations. Kyle snorted and earned himself a glare from Brian and from Nick.

"I'm sorry." Kevin said, regaining some level of composure as he looked at her one last time. "That's not enough."

And with that he turned and walked out of the church, closely followed by most of the guests that were visitors from his family or friends.

Kyle was left standing there with the priest and his mother. It was only then that he wondered if he had done the right thing.

"May God have mercy on your soul." The priest said, more as a curse than a blessing as he turned to leave and Kyle wasn't sure whether the man had meant he or his mother. He couldn't tell who had committed the greatest crime that day.